01x33 - GIR Goes Crazy and Stuff

[bunniefuu]

[crash!]

Wa... ha ha ha ha ha!

[cows moo]

Hi, cow!

GIR, get in here!

Bye, cow.

No playing with the
dirty cow monsters, GIR.

This is serious work we do.

Ooh!

We'll switch.

You man the tractor beam.

I'll pump the cows
full of human sewage.

Cows are my friends.

I don't like you.

The controls, GIR.

Yoooo!

Once I taint the humans'
meat supply with filth,

they will be ripe for conquest.

Soon the name of Invader Zim

will be synonymous with dooky!

GIR, bring me cow.

Yes, sir.

I like dooky.

Sometimes I'm afraid to find out

what's going on in that
insane head of yours.

♪ Dance with us, GIR! ♪

♪ Dance with us into oblivion ♪

Moo!

GIR! What are you doing?

[GIR screams] Weenies!
Weenies! Dancing weenies!

Stop! You'll blow
our ingenious cover!

[whispers a song and laughs]

It's time we did something about

your behavioral glitches, GIR.

Boop boop bee booop...

Waffles!

I'm going to attempt to
lock you into duty mode

with this behavioral modulator.

- What?
- Dooty.

I will make you
suffer large, alien!

GIR! att*ck!

Yes, sir!

[giggling]

No more distractions, GIR.

att*ck the human!

This time on a
dangerously high setting.

Yes, sir!

Doodee! Doodee! Doodee!...Doo!

att*ck!

Yes, sir!

[saying "doodee..."
in a more serious tone]

Sir, target is a hologram,

and therefore, not a
thr*at to our mission.

And what is our mission, GIR?

Blend in with the
indigenous life,

analyze their weaknesses,

prepare the planet for
the coming badness. Yay.

Yes... yes... yes!

With you fully functional
and by my side,

we shall rule this world
sooner than without you

by my side...

Not being fully--

Aw, let's get outta here.

You are now the evil henchman

I so rightly deserved
all along, GIR.

An assistant worthy of me.

I am Zim!

Now, with your amazing
new programming

[siren]
Investigate that sound.

Sir, it is merely
a police siren.

Do as I say!

Yes, sir!

Opening door! Running! Running!!

[crash!]

GIR! What have you done?!

This isn't
information retrieval!

Are you insane?!

[policeman moaning]

I have captured the
enemy for meat testing.

Praise me! Praise me!

Ah! Ow, my bone's
jammed up into my neck.

Oh. Huh?

Aliens?

Great. Now I have
to wipe his brain

to make him
forget all he's seen.

This memory
transplant will take hours.

I plan to spend this afternoon

experimenting on
the happiness centers

of that Earth child's brain.

I'm so happy. All
the time! It's great!

Hah!

Please, I have a house
and children and pets

and a toilet--toilet...
Children.

Make silence now, human.

With all due respect,

you must know
the S.I.R. unit code

enables free will in the event

the the mission is threatened.

This police human was a thr*at.

You dare tell me
what I already know?

Did you know that?

Of course, I...

Your legs are stupid!

Go upstairs and... um...
Monitor Earth broadcasts

until I think of something
better for you to do.

That's a good, GIR.

GIR.

Right away...

...s-sir.

Observing. Observing. Observing.

Do you suffer from
intestinal itching?

I do.

Television is stupid.

The master is not
utilizing me properly.

I must show my "master" how
information collecting is done.

An information center.

Excellent.

Retinal scan.

Rejected!

I'm sorry. You have
two discs overdue.

We'll have to
confiscate your retinas.

[giggles]

I require access to
all human knowledge!

Hmm. Hmm...

That would be under reference.

Not acceptable, library drone!

My tentacles!
Where are my tentacles?!

Don't worry, officer.

You are in a filthy
Earth brain hospital.

Your feelings are normal.

There's a squid
brain in your head.

Dispatcher:
Calling unit , unit .

Uh!

Aaahh!

Something's wrong. My ink.

Why can't I sh**t ink anymore?

What kind of squid
can't sh**t ink?

Gahhhh! Squid!

Dispatcher: Situation
at the public library.

Flying metal child draining
the brains of citizens.

Respond immediately.

Oh, it's GIR.

I've gotta stop him
before he ruins everything.

That horrible robot!

Please! Just take
me back to the sea!

[siren]

Ahh!

Relax, humans! The police are...

Ew!

The knowledge.

It fills me.

It is neat.

GIR! You've drained
enough humans today.

Data canister is not yet full.

I command you to get out of here

before we're noticed...

some more.

Hey! Quit it!

You are no commander.

You are a thr*at to the mission.

Your methods are stupid.

Your progress has been stupid.

Your intelligence is stupid.

For the sake of the mission,

you must be terminated.

You dare speak to
your master in such--

Squid man! Assist me!

Arg! Ink... Not working!

All that comes out is...

You don't wanna
know what comes out.

GIR, listen to me.

We have to get out of here.

You're malfunctioning!

Stupidity is the enemy.
Zim is enemy.

Aaahhh!

Wait! Don't leave me on land!

Aahh!

GIR! GIR, is that you?

Aaahhh!

Target found.

Eliminating moron.

Curse you snacks!

Curse yooooou!

GIR: For the good
of the mission.

GIR, you were my
servant once, remember?

Yes. I didn't like it.

[squirming sounds]

Hey! Over here!

Vision impaired! Can't see!

My ink! I did it!

Hi, floor! Make me a sammich!

That's better! I guess.

Sammich! Hee hee hee!

I want to thank you.

That was quite an adventure...

The car wreck,
the library fight,

and then the galactic
space battle that happened

on the way to this beach.

Yes, yes, very nice.

Now into the ocean with
you where you can tell

no one of these things.

I'm coming home!

G'bye! G'bye...

He's gettin' eaten by a shark.