05x10 - O Villany!

[bunniefuu]

The plan — it needs
to happen, Nicky.

OK, look. It's not that easy.

You've been living with her.
Don't you know out how to collect?
Make this happen. No more excuses.

You gambled my money?
You stole from me!

So as of now, you no longer
work at Best Bag Ever.

Pascalle!
I'm putting you in charge.

I don't know what to say!
I need people I can trust.

Of course.
THUD!

(GROANS)
I warned you.

I will pay her back. I'll cr*ck
a safe. I've done it before.

Why don't we talk about that?

There's a job I've been checking
out. If it stacks up, you're keen?

'Course.
Here's to the big wonton.

The big wonton.

THWACK! ]

THWACK!

How's it going, Van?

Oh, pretty good, actually.

So it's all good?
Yeah.

You wanna tell me about it?

Uh, I've been moving
into my own house.

Yep. And, um, building
baby furniture.

Cots, mostly.
Wow.

CHUCKLES: Yeah.
Yeah.

Yeah. It's excellent.

So, why did you call me, Van?

Um,...

to tell you I quit.

Quit what?

Being your bitch.

I've been thinking about
it, and, um, yeah, nah.

I'm not gonna tell
you anything any more.
Really?

Look, I— But I don't owe you
anything any more, and-and you've
got nothing against me, huh?

And it's been eating away at me.

Oh, what has?

Telling you sh*t.
You haven't told me anything.

Dane Harris.
Not about Nicky Greegan.

See? I-I am useless —

really useless — so I'm,
um, gonna walk away, man.

Because you're useless?

Yeah. No. Wh-Whatever!

Man, I can't do this any more.

Fair enough.
Really?

Yeah. You've given me sweet FA
in return for a lot of grief.

In fact, yeah, you've been pretty
much the worst informant in police
history, Van.

Mm. Yeah. For sure.

Fine.

It's your call.

See you later.

SHOUTS: Yeeeahhhh!

Not if I see you
first, pal. (LAUGHS)

HELLO SAILOR'S 'GUTTER BLACK'

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.'

♪ My luck in the gutter black.

♪ I guess I'm running back...

♪ ...to you.

♪ You in my brain.
You in my heart. ♪

Hey, Mum!

Is it OK for you to be, like, out?

I've been checked. It's fine.

The praevia thing? ]
Yeah. It's fine. ]

Yeah? Right, well, Mum, and-and
you, Wayne — welcome to my house.

Bet you never thought
you'd hear me say that, eh?

Oh, sure I did.

Actually, you know, it's our house.
Our house. (ROARS) How cool is that,
man?

Hi. Hi.
Want a guided tour?

Mm-hm.
Choice. Come on, then.

SHOUTS: Come on. Hurry up!
Yep!

And, um, this is the twins' room.

Wow. You've been busy.

It's all paid for, Cheryl.

No, no. I wasn't suggesting—
No, no. Of course you weren't.

So, what do you think, Cheryl?

Of the house?

Yeah.

Well, I-I think it's a lovely first
home, and-and I think you're really
lucky to have it.

What does that mean?

It just means that a lot of people
can't afford to buy homes these
days.

Van works really hard.

I know. I know.

Don't you like it?

Of course I like it.

Hey, are you gonna come
to the baby shower?

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

And I love your home.
I'm really happy for you.

Thanks, Mum.
All right?

Yeah. Don't do that.

(LAUGHS) See ya.

Don't you worry about me, sonny Jim.
Five minutes is all I need.

Just make sure your mob are
ready to carry out that cash.

They're good to go. You sure
you've got everything you need?

I just said I did.
Checking, Ted. That's all.

You look after your end of things.

Who are these clowns
you've got on board anyway?

Never you mind.

You'll meet them when it's time.

I don't like not knowing.

It's the way I work.

DOOR OPENS

Oh. Hey, Grandpa.

Hey, baby. Me and Ted were just, uh,
talking about exercise classes for
the elderly.

[ Really?

Yeah. Prise a few Grey Power
dollars out of those old pockets.

Thought you were at work.

Baby-shower business.

Oh, and is Ngaire coming?
Because she didn't RSVP.

Yes. But not for you.

It's... not my baby shower.

She's going for the baby,
not because you asked her.

But I asked her because of them...
and Sheree, of course.

I think we can say, 'Yes,
Ngaire will be attending.'

Excellent! Well, I'll let
you guys get back to it.

So I've made sure everyone brings
house gifts — unless you want baby
gifts, that is.

Stuff for the house
is fine, but we're OK.

If you're just saying
that, I can find—

House gifts are fine, Pascalle.

Just between you and
me, I got you both!

That is very generous of you.

And I just saw Grandpa with Nicky.
Oh yeah?

And even though Ngaire didn't RSVP,
she is coming. I hope that's OK
with you. It's fine.

It won't be awkward
with you taking her job?

No. Not for me.

And you are doing an
amazing job... with the job.

Just trying to get things ready
for the next person. Excuse me.

I am really, really, really
excited about tonight.

Me too.

Just between you and me, I have
a little announcement of my own
to make.

Really?
It's meant to be a secret.

You're not pregnant,
are you, Pascalle?

God no. Well, not yet.

Let me just say the day that she
share the last name Greegan is one
step closer to happening.

Quite a big step, actually.

One day we might swap names.
Wouldn't that be cool? You'd
be West and I would be Greegan.

That'd be awesome.

OK. Bye!

DOOR CLOSES ]

SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC

CRASH!

Oh, sorry, mate. Yeah. Uh, you
weren't here. I let myself in.
I was a bit thirsty.

Sorry about the glass, eh.
Hope I didn't scare ya.

Get out!

Look at you. You're blooming.
Pregnancy really suits you, Sheree.

Pigs can get arrested too,
you know, breaking into houses.

We know that's not gonna happen.

I can tell them how
you tried to r*pe me.

Well, I'm gonna have to pass on that
kind offer, Sheree. Uh, pregnant
women — not really my thing.

Not even for old times sake.

What do you want?

To gaze upon your beautiful face (!)

To check out your
beautiful house (!)

Yeah. Van's really into it.

Is he, now?

Yeah. He's real smitten with you.

God, the lengths he'll go
to protect — awe-inspiring.

It'll be a bastard when he finds out
what heartbreaker you really are.

You tell me. You two
seem to be bum buddies.

(LAUGHS) I wouldn't
go that far, Sheree.

No, we talk... from time to time.

Van wouldn't really have a lot
to say to you, Detective Gerard.

Well, if you're happy to go
on believing that, over to you.

And while you're believing that, you
might as well believe in the good
fairy that kept you out of jail;

kept Van's mate Munter out of jail.

Or if you don't believe me, there's
a bloke by the name of Dane Harris,
currently remanded on bail,

who's wondering how it came to pass
that he's looking down the barrel of
a lengthy stay inside.

Yeah.

Over to you, Sheree.

Sorry about the glass.

Nah. I don't see it. He's
screwing with your head.

Why?

It's Gerard. That's what
he does. You know that.

What if Van's told
him about the job?

Van knows f*ck all about the job.

He knows you're involved.

But he doesn't know
when, where or who else.
Jesus, Nicky.

It's Gerard. It could be crap.

But what if it's not and he's told?

(SIGHS)

You want me to find out
one way or the other?

Yes, please.

DOOR OPENS ]

Hey, I'm home! ]

Sheree?

[ Through here.

Hey.

Oh, what's up? You OK?

Not really.

Oh God. Oh God, oh God, oh God. Uh,
do we need to get to the hospital?

I had a visit from the cops today.
Actually, just one. Can you guess
which one?

No.

Try.

What? (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

OK... Oh, uh,... the one from
Whakatane that hates your guts?

Detective Gerard.
Yeah. Him.

What did he want?
Nothing.

What did he come round for, then?

To see our new place — the one
he said you told him we had.

I never told him that.
[ Oh, he said you did.

No.

I never told him anything about
the house or... about anything.

Yet he knew where to find us.

He's a cop. They know sh*t
like that. Anyway, he's a prick.
Why do you care what he thinks?

He said you and him are mates!

Come on!

He said you see each other all
the time and you tell him things.

What? Like I'm a nark?

He's messing with your head, man!

He said to ask you
about Dane Harris.

Well, Dane Harris is a... cock!

A cock who just got arrested?

He's a cock that got arrested
because he's a f*cking cock!

Nothing to do with me, Sheree! And
if Gerard says anything different,
then he's a cock too! OK?

Come on.

Yeah, he is a cock.

Yeah.

I hope she loves this, because
professional banners cost so much.
She will love it, eh?

Yeah. I'm sure she'll love it.

CELLPHONE TRILLS

Yeah?

He is. He's a f*cking nark.

Thanks for that.

OK. I think it's straight enough.
What?

I think it's straight
enough. What do you reckon?

Well, it's hard to tell
from where I'm standing.

Oh yeah. (CHUCKLES)

Here.

What kind of bullshit is that —
coming into a man's home and
saying all that stuff?

I've done nothing
to hurt you. Nothing!

And yet you're coming after me like
this, man. It's not fair! It is not
fair.

You finished?

No. I haven't even started with how
pissed off I am now! Do you have any
idea what you've done to me? Any?!

Yes, Van, I do.

Well, good!

But do you?
What?

Do you have any idea
what's going on here?

Let me clue you in.

While I was wasting my time and
police resources on you, you were
under my protection.

Then you told me to stick it
up my arse, so now you're not.

You're on your own, sunshine.
And now you're gonna learn
what sweet Sheree

and that mental-case referred to as
her brother are like once they get
going.

Mm-hm.

And the next time you look into
my eyes, Van — if there is a
next time —

chances are you'll have a tube down
your throat and a machine doing your
breathing for you.

I want you to remember, in
whatever part of your brain
is still functioning,

that you had your
chance... and you blew it.

Oh whatever.

CAR STARTS

DOOR OPENS

Hi, honey.
Hey.

I can't wait to not be pregnant. You
do something and then need to pee or
have a rest,

and then you can't remember
what the hell you were doing.

BOTH CHUCKLE

Getting ready for the
baby shower. That was it.

Here.
Oh. Thank you.

No worries.

Nicky's taking you out tonight.
What do you mean?

For a drink.While
I'm at the baby shower.

Oh...

Don't see why us girls
should have all the fun.

Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

You know what? I was thinking
I might stay in tonight — have
a quiet one, watch a bit of TV.

We don't have a TV.

Yeah, but we will. Eh?

After the job... It'll be choice.

We don't have it yet.

Mm. True.

Oh, I don't know. I might just,
you know, read a book or something.

You're gonna go and buy a book?

(SIGHS) Maybe.

Go out for a drink with Nicky.
Poor guy's been driven out of
his house by a hoard of women.

(CHUCKLES)
You'd be doing him a favour.

Yeah.

PHONE RINGS
Pick up.

PHONE RINGS

Judd security.
Hey, Wayne-O.

How's it going?
Hi, Van. Good. You?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Hey, do you wanna
come for a drink with me tonight?

Tonight?
Yeah, while the chicks
are at the shower.

Yeah, I was kinda looking forward
to having the house to myself.

Nah. That sucks, man.
Come to the pub with me.

I might give it a pass, actually.

Please, Wayne? Say— Say
you'll come to the pub with me.

You OK, Van?

Yeah. Yeah. Just...

I just don't wanna be
on my own tonight, OK?

OK...

Yeah. It'd just be really
good to see you at the pub.

What's going on, Van?

Nothing! (CHUCKLES) Nothing.

It's just a couple
of drinks, that's all.

OK. Sure. I'll meet you then.

Sweet.

(HANGS UP PHONE)

Hey, Van.
Hey.

Let's go and get that drink.

I thought that was, um, you know,
like,... later... when the...
shower.

I was around and thought,
'Why not get an early start?'

Yeah. Why not?

Yeah, but I... I was gonna
drop you at the... thing.

I'll take my car. It's
not like I'm drinking.

So it's sorted, then.

Have fun, you two.

We will.

ENGINE TURNS OVER

TYRES SQUEAL

How come it's the chick who gets
to party just cos she's pregnant?

Ha.

I mean, she didn't get
pregnant on her own.

Chances are, the guy's gonna be
there to do some of the work too.
Mm.

Men should get a party. There
needs to be something for the guy.

A man shower.

OK. We have to come up
with a better name than that.

CHUCKLES: Yeah.

(CHUCKLES)

LEVON'S CROWN'S 'ALL FOR FREE'

I thought we're going to the Rusty.

We are. There's something I
need to take care of first.

♪ I'm sipping from my tin can.

♪ Let's have another

♪ ride on Mountain Mystic now.

♪ I know I shouldn't be. ♪

HEAVY GUITAR MUSIC

Van, we need to talk.

(GRUNTS)
Argh! sh*t, Van. That hurt!

Come on. Come on!

That f*cking hurt, man!

Not as much as getting k*lled hurts!

What?! Van, I'm not gonna k*ll you.

Yeah. And the next
thing I know, I'm dead!

Van, cool down! I'm not gonna k*ll
you or hurt you or do anything.
I just wanna talk.

Bullshit!
Seriously!

(WHIMPERS)

I'm guessing from your reaction that
it's true — you've been talking to
Gerard.

OK. I-I didn't have a choice, OK?

And... most for the time, you know,
it was— it was more like— it was
more like he was talking to me.

(WHIMPERS)

SHOUTS: Nicky! I didn't say
anything, Nicky, I swear!

I didn't even know
anything, so how could I—?

SHOUTS: Van, it's cool, OK?
It's not cool.

It's cool. I know Gerard.
I know how he works, OK?

He tries this sh*t on all the time.

Huh? (BREATHES HEAVILY)

So we're cool?

I like you, Van. And I really like
the way you've been looking after
my sister,...

and that you're around
to look after her kids.

I want to look after the kids.

And there is the small matter of
me being in love with your sister.

Yeah.
She might not be thrilled
if I mess up her brother.

Mm-mm.
But you talked to a cop, Van,...

so I do need to know
what you told him.

Nothing.

Did you tell him about
this job we've got on?

No.

I didn't know about it, so how could
I tell him? And even if I did, I
wouldn't, because we need the money.

Is he watching me, Van?

No. I swear.

And... I told Gerard to piss off,
and then he dobbed me in to Sheree.

So he doesn't know anything?

No.

If I find you've been lying
to me, I will hurt you.

Nicky, I swear on the lives of my
children I didn't tell him anything
about you or the job,...

OK.

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

even though he was on at me
all the time about it.

I mean, what did you
do to piss him off, man?

Van, listen to me.
Seriously hates you—

Van, shut up! Shut up,
all right, before I slap you!

(SIGHS)

You know this means I'm going to
have to cut you out of the job,
right?

You OK with that?

Yeah. You have no idea how
OK I am with that, Nicky.

OK.

Good. You wanna get that beer?
Yes, please.

(CHUCKLES)

BOTH CHUCKLE

ENGINE STARTS

HEAVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

Wayne-O!

Van. Nicky.
Hey.

Pull up a beer, brudda, or
not, cos we drank them all!
(LAUGHS DRUNKENLY)

Let me change that.
You all right?

Yeah. I'm excellent, brother,
and I'm getting— getting excellent!

That's good to know.
Cheer.

So, what's wrong?

(COUGHS)

(CHUCKLES) Nothing's wrong.
(BURPS) It's all good, man! (GRUNTS)

So, why am I here?

To get pissed, bro! (LAUGHS)

Or not. Eh?

Van, you really wanted
me to come down here.

Did I?

On the phone, Van.

Nah! That was a— That was
a misunderstanding, eh.

Yeah, nah, nah. It's all good,
Wayne. It's all good, Wayne.

What are you up to tomorrow?

Not a lot. Why?

You up for a job?

Any time. You know that.

Sweet...
...as.

DOOR OPENS ]

DOOR CLOSES, VOICES CARRY ]

(MUMBLES DRUNKENLY)

BOTH GRUNT

What the f*ck is this?!

DRUNKENLY: Hi! Hi, baby!

Van went a bit hard a bit early.

(SIGHS LOUDLY) I'm
lying down, cos spinny.

I thought you were sorting it.
I have.

Then why is he still here?

(GROANS)

It is sorted.

By getting him pissed?

That was after.

We talked. Everything is cool.
Like f*ck it is!

I never expected to see that
arsehole again, and you talked?

Hey! Think it through!

Why the f*ck do you think
Gerard cut him loose?

He gets beaten up, it all
points straight back to me.

And with what I'm doing tomorrow,
I do not need Gerard in my life.

I was thinking more he
never turns up at all.

Don't.
Why not? He's insured.

For f*ck's sake! We are not
going down that road again!

It worked with Garth.
Different — and you know it!

Same end result.

Have you gone completely barking
mad? Not gonna happen, Sheree.

He betrayed us, Nicky.

And I have sorted it!

Oh, well, bully for you. And,
meanwhile, what am I meant to do?

Live in this sh*t house, pumping
out babies for Mr ret*rd forever?

I will look after you. I always do.

Oh, yeah, and a grand result
for me — shacked up with a f*cking
nark living off handouts from you;

and charity jobs from your
up-herself rich-bitch girlfriend.

Sorry. It should be
bitch fiancee, right?

Funny, I don't remember actually
marrying the c**t ever being part
of the plan.

Remember the plan? Or are you having
fun sticking your f*cking cock in
that bitch?

(GASPS)
Don't you ever talk about
her like that ever again!

I will look after you, Sheree.

I always have, and I always will.

Come on, you know that.

You'll see.

I promise.

You should go.

I have to get ready for this thing.

Sure.

I can't go.
Yes, you can. If I'm going, you are.

No, I can't go. Jane needs me.

You don't get to play that card
now — especially when you're lying.

I'm not lying.

Jane is perfectly happy with Graeme.
Thank you, Graeme, you're a saint!

No problem.
Mm. Thank you, Graeme.
You're a saint (!)

Stay as long as you want.

I can't go. I don't have a present.

Yeah, you do. Come on.

DOOR OPENS ]

TENSE MUSIC

MUSIC CONTINUES

Here she is — the star of the show!

ALL CHEER

Now, we are gonna have such a great
time. OK, everyone, hug Sheree!

Oh my God, you look amazing,...
(SNIFFS) with your great big belly.
(SOBS SILENTLY)

Kasey, we talked about
the crying thing.

I know. I'm sorry.

OK. Someone else hug Sheree!

Happy baby shower, Sheree.

Ta.

Good luck, my dear.

You'll need it...
especially with twins.

Thank you, Ngaire.

Moving on!

Now, you are allowed one glass,
but that is your limit.

Yay.

Present time!

Yay! (LAUGHS)

NICKY AND MUNTER LAUGH RAUCOUSLY

Oh, that is— That's a lie.

Nah, it's true. Until
Van was, like, .

He thought that the jizz went in the
front hole and the babies came out
the back hole.

NICKY AND MUNTER LAUGH
Boy always was a
simpleton. (LAUGHS)

Sorry.
What for?

We shouldn't pick on a man when
he's not here to defend himself.

Usually the best time, I think.

How was he when you got him home?

Unconscious on the couch
last time I saw him.

Never been a stayer. Gets that
from his mum's side of the family.

I'll drink to that. (LAUGHS)
CLINK!

I know how he feels. Might leave you
to it; make use of the empty house.

Have a wank for me
while you're at it.

Nah, you old coot.

MUNTER: (LAUGHS) And me too, buddy.

ALL LAUGH

OK. Speech! Speech!

PASCALLE AND KASEY CHANT:
Speech! Speech!

OK. OK!

First of all, thank
you all for the gifts.

I'm sure Van and I will put them
to good use around the house.

You know, I can't begin to tell
you all how much you mean to me;

how much my life has
changed since I met you all.

Obviously I'm a lot more
pregnant than I used to be,...

(LAUGHS)

...but it's more than that.
It's... everything you've given
me; everything you've taught me.

It's...

You've all given me the strength to
do things I didn't know I could do.

And for that, as well as all this,
I'd like to thank each and every one
of you. Cheers.

Oh, yay for Sheree!

And now that we've got your
attention, I also have a little
announcement to make.

As of yesterday, me and Nicky
set the date to our wedding.

Oh!

Yeah, so you all better be free
three months from today! Even you,
Loretta.

Yay (!)
Yay! Yay for weddings and babies!

Yay for babies!

TENSE MUSIC

SOFTLY: sh*t!

ROCK MUSIC
(GRUNTS LOUDLY)

CRASH!

(GROANS)

YELLS: Van!

(COUGHS)

Van. Van. Come on. Come on. Get up.

(GROANS)
Get up. Come on.
Get up, man. (STRAINS)

(COUGHS)

(COUGHS)
Come on.

BOTH COUGH

BOTH COUGH

SIRENS WAIL, HORN BLARES

GUESTS CHATTER

I hope that's only your second.

Something like that.

Strangely enough, I feel the need to
go on holiday exactly three months
from today.

Yeah, well, I have to go,...
CELLPHONE TRILLS

...so you're coming with me.

Oh, with any luck
you'll be in labour.

CELLPHONE TRILLS

Wayne, I hope you're
coming to rescue me.

What?!

[ Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

It's OK. He's OK. He sucked in a
fair amount of smoke, but somehow
I think his lungs are used to it.

Are you all right?
I'm very sorry.

What for?

What I did to our house. The fire
fulla reckoned it-it started in
the kitchen,

and-and he said that... (SIGHS) I
tried to cook something and-and I...

I fell asleep, but I can't even
f*cking remember. I'm so— f*ck,
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Shh, baby, it's OK.

It's OK. The important
thing is that you've alive.

Everything else — it doesn't
matter. We're insured for all that.

She's right. You're alive,
my love. That's the main thing.

Wayne, you know we are
thinking the same thing.

A lot of pissed guys have d*ed
over the years cos they fancied
a cook-up.

Van never cooks, no
matter how pissed he is.

He will scrounge, he will eat
off the floor, but he never cooks.

(SIGHS)

Don't you dare breathe a word
of this near your mother.

I thought she was better.
Not that much better. And
you leave this to me, OK?

DOOR OPENS

Oh, hi. We were just saying
how lucky you were last night that
everything and everyone was insured.

Maybe. What's that to you?

Nothing. It's great.

So Van was still
unconscious when you left?

Yes. Why?

He seemed pretty paralytic when I
saw Nicky dragging him from the pub.

I guess he woke up and
decided he was hungry.

Mind you, he was back on
the couch when I found him.

Are you suddenly a cop again?

Just an interested party.

(COUGHS)

CELLPHONE RINGS

Hi.
Do we need to have a chat
about what happened last night?

No.
You sure?

I think we've said everything that
needs to be said. (CLOSES PHONE)

How is she this morning?

God, what a complete mare.
We are so lucky.

How do you mean?
Well, just that nothing terrible
like that's ever happened to us.

Yeah. Yeah, we are.

I love you.

Now I have to pop into the office,
so if you talk to Sheree again,
can you tell her that I'll call her?

Oh. God, what are we gonna do with
all that stuff? I'll sort it later.
Bye.

Hey.

Pascalle.

What are you doing
here on a weekend?

Working.

But shouldn't you—? I mean,
your house nearly burnt down.

Not much I can do
to change that now.

But what about Van?

He's OK. He's got his
mum to look after him.

OK.

Look, what's done is done, and,...

well, when I got up this morning,
there were all these things I could
think about,

but the one thing I can do is making
sure everything's sorted for your
new financial controller on Monday.

Really?

At least I'll be doing
something constructive.

That is so amazing that you're
thinking of me on a day like today.

Yes, I am.

And... here I am. (CHUCKLES)

That is so beautiful. Oh...

But all the other sh*t I need to get
done today is still waiting, so I've
gotta get this done.

Oh. Yeah. Sorry.

Hey, are you going to be home later?

Yeah. ]

I'll drop by after I've
got everything else sorted.

That'd be excellent! See ya.

Bye.

♪ Dada, da, da.

♪ Dadadada, da, da.

♪ Dada, da, da.

♪ Dadadada, da, da.

♪ Dada, da, da.

♪ Dadadada, da, da.

♪ Dada, da, da.

♪ Dadadada, da, da.

♪ Dada, da, da.

♪ Dadadada, da, da.

♪ Dada, da, da.

♪ Dadadada, da, da.

THE NAKED AND FAMOUS' 'DADADA'

MUSIC CONTINUES

♪ There is no light,

♪ no light outside. ♪

Hey.
Hi.

Did you get all that stuff
done that you needed to?

Almost there. Nicky around?

No, he's out meeting with some
clients. You want some tea?

Got any vodka?

(CHUCKLES)

Are you serious?

My God, you really do live in your
own little bubble-wrapped world,
don't you?

Are you okay?

Sit down, Pascalle. There's a
whole lot of sh*t you need to know.

Hey.

Put this on.

What for?
So I can talk to you.

Why would I want to listen
to you when I'm working?

Just bloody put it on, will you?

Why don't I help?

DOOR OPENS ]

sh*t. Sorry, I thought
I was going to be late.

You are. Don't do it again.

Ted.
What's this twat doing here?

That's not very welcoming.
[ He's a lookout.

Thought you had your best men on.

Ted, I know the business. It's
not like I'm a d*ck all the time.

Close enough.

Play nice, Ted. I trust this guy.

And I'm honoured to be on the same
team as the legendary Ted West.

Good-oh. Right, you know the rules:
phones, wallets, any ID — in the
bag.

What if someone calls?

CELLPHONE TRILLS

We won't be answering.
Phones can be traced.

sh*t, he's good.

I will get these back, eh?

Later. Use this to keep in touch.

Choice.

Here, bro.
Whoo-hoo-hoo. Check one,
two. One, two, check.

Prick. Nah, it's cool. It's like,
um, Madonna or Apollo
or something, you know?

Ground control, this is
Munter calling Major Tom.

Cut it out.

But I always wanted one of these.

g*n CLICKS

Just for show.
Gentlemen, are we ready?

Yeah. Let's roll.
See you there.

♪ Run through the eye of a needle.

CAR DOOR SLAMS

♪ Run through the
eye of a needle, oh...

♪ Well, you ain't no preacher.
Yeah, you're just a fool.

(WALKIE-TALKIE) NICKY: We're good.

All is serene.

Does that mean we're good?

You're good.

TED: Dickhead.

♪ Swim through the
eye of a needle.

♪ Swim through the
eye of a needle, oh...

CRASH!

ALARM BLARES

♪ ...you're just a fool

♪ running around breaking
your own rules. Let it go.

♪ Oh, let it go.

♪ Let it go.

♪ Oh, let it go. ♪

CELLPHONE RINGS

RINGING CONTINUES

Tell them to piss off.

Your phone. You tell them.

RINGING CONTINUES

Piss off.

What?

Oi. Was that your phone before?

Yeah.
Was it Sheree?

Why would she call me?

She hasn't shown up; she answer
my calls; Nicky's not answering—

No, Van, it wasn't Sheree. For
Christ's sake, who gives a sh*t
about her?

MUTTERS: f*ck.

Hey.

Bit of an accident.
Is it true?

Is— Is what true?

What Sheree told me today.

Um, that very much depends on
what Sheree told you, doesn't it?

Look, uh, I'm a bit f*cking
injured here. Can it—?

I wanna know if it's f*cking true!

LOUD KNOCKING AT DOOR ]

Sheree.

LOUD KNOCKING

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. Hey, bro.

(GRUNTS) Munt! (GRUNTS)
Munt! What the f*ck?

It's me, man!

Yeah, I know it's you,
you piece of sh*t!

(GRUNTS) What are you
f*cking doing, man?

(GRUNTS)
CRASH!

POTS CLANG
Argh!

CLANG!

(GRUNTS)

CRASH!

f*ck off! What the f*ck?!
What are you hitting me for?!

You did it, didn't you?
Did what?

You know.

No, I don't!

Munt. Munt, Munt, Munt, Munt, Munt!
Enough, Munter. Get off.

MUNTER AND VAN GRUNT

Hey, hey, hey!

CLANG!
JUDD: Jesus!

Stop it... right
this f*cking minute!

What the hell is going on here?

Ask him.
What?

You did it, didn't you?

I was sitting here, and you just
started f*cking smashing me, man!

Not with me — with Ted.

What?
What about Ted?

Ted's gone. He's history. And it's
all his fault, cos he's a f*cking
nark!

HELLO SAILOR'S 'GUTTER BLACK'

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.'