06x01 - What a Rash and Bloody Deed Is This

[bunniefuu]

She is my daughter.

No, she's my daughter,
and I know what she needs.

You can visit her whenever you like
and have her every other weekend.

How the f*ck is that fair?

If you two are planning on being
together, why don't you get married?

You cannot let her
get away with this.

We go to court, she'll win.

So what's the plan?
Wanna marry me?

Apparently calls were made by
a lawyer claiming I've been
harrassing you.

If you don't go, I'm getting
a restraining order.

Christ almighty, Cheryl, we had
a son. Do you remember that?

Do you think I could forget?

I can't live in this
f*cking silence.

I, Loretta, take you, Hayden,
to be my legal husband.

I, Hayden, take you, Loretta,
to be my legal wife.

Great, and we're done here.

We're searching these premises.

How the f*ck could you turn up now?

This is offensive language,
and you're under arrest.

THUDDING, SHOUTING

Take him as well.
Leave her alone, you prick!

Let go of me!

Let her go.

SMASH!
Let her go, you bastard!

Oh, Christ!

BANG! BANG! BANG!

VEHICLE APPROACHES AT SPEED

ROCK MUSIC

SIREN WAILS

How come Gerard gets to go first?
How's that f*cking fair?

f*cking arsehole.

ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES

No! Let me go!
Let me see her! Pascalle!

Cheryl! Cheryl!

(YELLS INDISTINCTLY)

f*cking pile of sh*t!
Come on! Cheryl!

[ THUD!

Come out, you bastards.

Cops aren't here, Van.

They broke the table.

Technically that was Van.

Well, yeah, only cos the cops
att*cked me, the bastards.

Yeah, the bastards.

We need to clean up.
You start in here.

The cops should be cleaning up. They
trashed the place, the bastards.

Yeah, the bastards.

[ MUFFLED GROANING, SQUEAKING

What is that?

[ GROANING, SQUEAKING CONTINUE

Cops.
(GROANS)

(SCREAMS)

Hey, Eric.
f*ck!

(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY) Hello, all.

Oh, gross.

I was just keeping an eye on the
place for you. Oh, hey, hey —
welcome back.

HELLO SAILOR'S 'GUTTER BLACK'

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.'

♪ My luck in the gutter black.

♪ I guess I'm running back...

♪ ...to you.

♪ You in my brain.
You in my heart. ♪

Mum.
Hey, love.

Gidday, Cheryl. Good to see ya.

What are you doing here?

I just happened to catch the weekend
news about a certain stabbing in
West Auckland and a cop in hospital.

And I'm thinking, 'Some P-head's
done it this time,' but bugger me
if it's not my old mate Cheryl West.

Look, I'm not on bloody P.
Of course not.

And it wasn't a stabbing.

It was a broken bottle, and
I didn't mean to break it.

All good stuff, Cheryl,
and we'll get to that.

What—? 'We'll—We'll get to that'?

Well, happy to represent.

No, I've got someone off the list.

You realise the gravity of this,
Cheryl? The as*ault charge is
just the beginning.

I said we're hire him.
Yeah, but he's a QC.

Which means he's quite competent.

Yeah, and quite f*cking costly.

DES LAUGHS ]

Oh, a couple of your excellent
roasts, Cheryl, and we'll call
it a discount.

'Quite f*cking costly'. We have
to be in court soon, so come on.

I saw red when he
took Pascalle, right,

and I tried to help him, but that's
when he pulled the f*cking g*n.

All great stuff, Cheryl, but
the judge won't give a monkey's.

He sh*t my daughter

and that doesn't mean anything?

That's a formality.

I just want to get out and see her.

We'll have you in and
out in no time, Cheryl.

SOLEMN GUITAR MUSIC

MUSIC CONTINUES

Aaron, are you still here?

In case you needed something in the
night. Um, the nurse said it was OK.

She's such a stupid cow.

She's a caring professional.

If she was, she would realise
that no way could you ever be
my boyfriend.

She must have got that wrong.
Language difficulties.

She should go back to Philippines.
You should go back to Creepy-ville.

Don't upset yourself.

sh*t, what time is it?

Breakfast came, and I took
the low-fat option for lunch.

sh*t.

What, did you want the macaroni?

No, I'm meant to be at court.
Van's supposed to pick me up.

You can't leave. You need care.

I know as much as these
stupid dummies in here.

What are you doing?
Taking this stupid drip out.

Oh, whoa.

Did you bring my button-through top?

Yes, but there's been heaps to do.

Van, can you help me get dressed?

No, let me.
Uh, yeah, he can do it.

Van, you're my brother.
No! I don't want to see your bosies.

I don't mind. Honest.

Van, if you don't help me get
dressed, I'm gonna break your
fingers.

Aaron.
Here you are.

Come on, then.

(MOANS SOFTLY)

Van, you d*ck.
I can't open the door.

SOTTO VOCE: f*cking hell.

Come on, man. We're gonna be late.

(SQUEALS)
Ooh, sorry.

Oh my God, I think we've missed it.

Mrs West.
Detective.

Scuse me, Detective, will
you give us a comment?

Mum!
Mrs West.

REPORTERS CLAMOUR

We have no comment at this time.

Mum.
Sweetheart.

What are you doing here?
I had to come and see you. Ow!

Oh, sh*t, I'm sorry.
I did I hurt you?
No.

Hey. Hey, see that?
That's my sister.

Right there. And if anyone's
a criminal, it's not my mum,
OK. It's Gerard.

Detective Gerard. He sh*t my
sister through the tit, man.
Through the tit!

TV: An Auckland woman accused
of assaulting a police officer
was released on bail.

REPORTERS CLAMOUR ON TV

We have no comment at this time.

JANE BURBLES
Oh, wow, Cheryl, you're on the news.

Might need to get used to that.

Yeah, you're famous now.

Oh, bugger that for a joke.

TV: Feelings outside the
court were running high.
Shh, shh.

VAN (ON TV): If anyone's
a criminal, it's not my mum.
It's Gerard. Detective Gerard.

He sh*t my sister through the tit.

Through the tit!
Oh.

Get out of my face.

Did you have to say
'through the tit'?

You'd prefer 'Brad Pitt'?
Booby? Chesticle?

PHONE RINGS

Come on, guys. Let's
sit up and eat, eh?

No, no, no. Turn it off.
No!

House of holey hooters.

Oh, hi.

PASCALLE: Hello. ]

Oh, hi. Did you see me on the TV?

Cheryl.

Ngaire.
They let you out?

Yes.

I'll let Ted know when
I'm next in Mt Eden.

Those bastard cops, eh? ]

Vindictive, putting an old man in
jail because someone couldn't keep
her temper.

Hey, Ngaire, it's not Mum's fault.

Hey, can we shut up and eat, please?

KNOCK AT DOOR
Is Van West here?

SILENCE

And you are?

Bailey Wilson, Van's lawyer.

You were meant to call me
about your appearance.

(CHUCKLES) Bailey.

Uh, yeah, I got— Oh, I was busy.

Van, go talk to your lawyer.
Thanks, Mrs West.

I'll come give you
some support, bro.

Come on, then, lady.

Jethro. Long time, no see.

sh*t.
You know that girl?

Yeah. Law school.
She got an A for partying.

Oh, f*ck, that's all we need.

I'm not guilty.
Not one bit of guilty.

Well, you still need
to appear to say that.

Yeah, but the cops...

They should pay — you know,
sh**ting my sister a-a-and
arresting everyone.

Well, do you want
tell me about that?

Well, I can't now. I... I'm too
stressed. I can't concentrate.
(SIGHS)

Are you gonna share that around?

What, you smoke dak?

I've even inhaled.

Man, how come you got the cool
lawyer, bro, and I got the old
guy off the list?

What, you were arrested
at the same time?

f*cking sure was.

Why don't you tell me about it?

You know that I will be
scarred for life, eh?

(CHUCKLES) I don't care.

Don't you?

If I was there, you
know what I would do?

What?

I'd be kissing you.
Where?

Starting with your lips.

Mm-hm.

Moving down your neck.

Mm-hm.

To your breast.

Even with the stitches?

I'm kissing you better.

Mm-hm.

All the way down.

Mm-hm.

Mum says that...

Oh God, are you
playing with yourself?

I'm having private
time with my fiance.

(EXHALES) OK.

Bloody superlative, that roast.

Yeah, I haven't forgotten
the discount, Des.

Oh, God love ya, Cheryl.

See youse.
See ya, Dessie.

Did it go OK, the wank-fest?

Screw you.

Now, Nicky says that Gerard should
be charged for what he did.

Yeah. Well, someone should get him.

Oh, and the cops. They should pay
too, cos they chucked us out of the
house.

And tagged out the front.

Do you really want the
cops all over us again?

I don't give a sh*t, man.

They should pay, and we
should f*cking do them.

No, no, what we're doing is nothing.

There's been enough sh*t going down
around here. I want it to stop right
now.

Well, I still reckon—
No, no, no. I said no.

I don't want any of you in any
more trouble over me. Is that
f*cking clear enough?!

OK.

Eric's not here.
Mm, I can still smell him.
He's gone through my stuff.

Or the cops have gone through
my stuff. What did they expect
to find down here?

Doesn't matter now.
(SIGHS) We're gonna have
weeks of Pascalle the martyr

and Van going pear-shaped.

Why did Mum have to go and lose her
rag? God, I hope she can take Jane
tomorrow.

Spare bedroom at your place.

Uh, what's that got
to do with anything?

I could use it as an office.

There's no rush, is there?

The less time I spend with
my nutbar family, the better.

Mm-hm.
The crazier it gets around here,
the less work that I get done.

And that's important now?

Work is what makes
the world go around.

Along with money.

I prefer sex.

BREATHILY: OK.

You don't have to do that.

Oh yes, I do, believe me.

Feels like I've been away for ages.

Yeah.

(INHALES SHARPLY)

You know,... I keep playing it back
over like a tape in my head, that
afternoon.

What I said to you,... ]

what I did.

It's OK.
No. No, it wasn't OK.

We're still here, aren't we?

Don't— Don't you
wanna talk about it?

No.

Do you wanna talk about it?
No.

No, I don't wanna talk about it.

OMINOUS MUSIC

Man.

sh*t.

OMINOUS MUSIC BUILDS
(GROWLS)

(GASPS)

Angel!
Van.

They cleaned us out.

They took the toaster.
It was, uh, Desiree and Chastity.

Hos took the toaster?

It was my toaster, and
they're helping me shift.

Whoa, whoa, sh-shift to where?

Sweetie, I can't stay here.

With the cops all over your family,
it's too close for comfort. What if
someone recognises me?

So you're moving out?

Van, I know you'll miss me.

How am I gonna make toast?

I-I know it's hard, but you could
always pop them in the oven.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Look, I don't want to leave you.

But I can't go to jail, and
I never, ever give it away.

Yep, good. Um, what about the rent?

I'll make it up to you, I promise.

Well, it'd be better for me...

I'll be back in touch...

as soon as things cool down.

(GARGLES)

There you are. There's your
googie egg. Have some toast.

Do I get one?

Mm, yep.

Do I get one?

No, you're not a toddler
or scarred for life.

What do you call three bloody
years in Palmerston North?

Oh, happy-family scene.
Do you want some breakfast?

[ Loads to do. See ya.
PHONE RINGS

Bye-bye, gorgeous. Be a good girl.

Wayne Judd speaking.

Yeah.

Hi and bye.

(SIGHS) Free at last.

sh*t, what now?

DES: Gidday, Cheryl. How'd you be?

Good.
Um, had a bit of news.

It's not good news. In fact, on
a scale of news, it's pretty much
the worst.

Well, come on, Des. Spit it out.

Gerard has d*ed.

KNOCK AT DOOR ]

Oh my f*cking God.
Yep. There were...

KNOCK AT DOOR ]
...complications, apparently,
from blood loss.

DOOR OPENS
sh*t.

Detective Beltz. We'd like you
to accompany us to the station,
Mrs West, if you don't mind.

Uh, actually, she does mind.

Des, I've gotta go. They're here.

Yeah, I'll meet you at the station.
What's going on?

They're hassling Mum again.
She doesn't have to go anywhere.

She does.

Cheryl West, you are charged
with the m*rder Detective
Sergeant Zane Gerard.

[ PASCALLE: No, he can't be dead.
He was in the hospital.

[ ERIC: Yeah, serious but stable.

You have the right to remain silent,
but anything you do say will be
taken in evidence.

You have the right to instruct and
consult a lawyer without delay.

SOMBRE MUSIC

MUSIC CONTINUES

DOOR CLOSES ]

[ DOOR CLOSES, FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

She took the toaster.

I can't get this thing to work.
You put the bread in, but there's
nothing to tell you it's ready.

That's not how stoves work, bro.

Well, that sucks.

You know who I blame for this?

PHONE RINGS
Angel?

Nup. Gerard.

It's all his fault. What?

So, Gerard went and d*ed.

I think we've established that, Van.

But he was in hospital.

So it's the doctors' fault.

Yeah, or the nurses.
Some of them are so useless.

So they did it. The doctors.
Or the nurses.

Maybe he caught a virus. Hospitals
are full of them. It's the worst
place to go when you're sick.

See. Tell the cops.
Tell them what?

That it's the hospital's fault.

Because you and Munter said so?

Yeah, and Pascalle, and
she was almost a nurse.

The cops must think they have a case
or they wouldn't have charged her.

She did bottle him, and he did die.

I guess that's the way they see it.

And who's side are you on?

I'm just saying.
What?

Look, Des is on to it, all right?
So we leave it to him.

Will she get bail?
HAYDEN: It's m*rder,
not shoplifting.

She's not exactly dangerous.

She is if you leave
a bong on the bench.

This will go on for months, and Des
is going to cost a f*cking fortune.

God, I can't believe you're thinking
of money at a time like this.

Des isn't in this for love.

Mum's not working, and it's
not as if you're any use.

I'm injured.

You do own Mum's business,
so I guess you do owe her.

Well, you're not exactly poor.

You're not exactly generous.

I'm gonna put in everything
I have to help Mum.

Oh, great (!) So that's a
few old G-strings and $ . .

God, you can be a bitch sometimes.

And you're unemployed
all of the time.

OK, guys, just cool it.

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS) Now, look....

I'll put in all of my
money from this week.

Mm. Fantastic (!)
It's for Mum, eh.

Yeah. So you'd better get out to
Massey Heights and start building
that gazebo.

Well, no, I can't work
at a time like this.

How do expect to give money to Mum
if you don't go out and earn any?

Well, you don't need to be
all f*cking mean about it.

She is mean.
It's called being practical.

And if we really wanna help Mum,
we'd better shift our lazy arses
and get on with it, hadn't we?

An officer is dead. And you have
no comments about what you were
thinking at all?

Well, you've already
got a statement.

I was worried about my daughter.

So worried, you needed to att*ck him
with a bottle? s*ab him in the neck?

I panicked.
You were angry at that moment,
and you wanted him dead.

I—
Look, you've got her statement.
She's got nothing more to say.

The charges have changed.

[ Yeah, we're aware of that.

So you've got nothing
more to say about this?

What you were thinking and feeling
at the time you caused this man's
death?

Um...

I-I'm very sorry.

You've got the statement.

This is over. She has
nothing more to say.

That's right.

Fine.

You've done nothing wrong here.

Yeah, but he's dead.

Well, that's unfortunate.

But it's manslaughter at the most.

The cops have just had a
rush of blood to the head.

Yeah, he is one of their— their own.

Oh, it's a big one, all right. I
mean, the media will be all over it.
But we can handle it, no worries.

Can't we, Cheryl?

Sure.

SOTTO VOCE: Yep.

VAN: Man, Loretta's a cow.

Mm-hm.

Yeah, and what the f*ck
is a gazebo, anyway?

It's like a conservatory, bro.

But that's like real building.

Well, I can't do real building
wh-when I'm— I'm worrying about
our mum.

I know.

Well, she's not your mum, bro.

Yeah, but you're my brother, which
kind of makes her like my mother.

sh*t.

Yeah, b-but she's been more of
a mum to me than my actual mum.

Nah, nah, nah. Cop car.

They can't do us for speeding,
man. There's no one in it.

Yeah, I know.

We're gonna show the cops, man. You
don't mess with my life — arresting
my mum, sh**ting my sister.

ROCK MUSIC

Bro. Bro.

Bro.

TYRES SQUEAL

Hey, check this out.

Some old pig's having his th
down at the local police bar.

Look at that. And you
know who pays for it.

Who?
Taxpayers like us.

Do we pay tax?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Loretta makes us. Yeah.

You know what?

Stuff you, birthday pig.

POP!
f*ck.

(GROWLS)

It's on.

CLAP CLAP RIOT'S 'DIE'

(LAUGHS)

♪ Why won't you die tonight?

♪ I've waited my whole life.

♪ Cut your ponytail
with switchblade Kn*fe.

♪ Why won't you...?
Why won't you live? ♪

OK, what do we do now?

Well, we'll wipe it down,
and then we'll sell it.

Yeah, but you just pissed in it.

Yep.

Yeah, but now your DNA's in there.
Look, all over the f*cking seat.

No, DNA's in jizz, not piss.

Bro, it's not exactly
the same, but nearly.

Well, yeah, so it's not DNA.

Yeah, but it's similar.

Eh? What, like PNA?

Probably.

Yeah.

OK, but, like, the cops, they
don't know that I took it,

so they won't be looking for my PNA.

We flick this, bro, and we're sweet.

RINGING TONE

They should have been there by now,
and I will definitely keep in touch.

JANE CRIES
(SIGHS) Go to sleep!

Van is so hopeless.

Why did Gerard have
to go and die now?

I guess there's never
a good time for it.

I know she's annoying sometimes,

but she's not a m*rder*r.

And all this is so going to cost,
even if no one else wants to see it.

All this chipping in bullshit — what
that means is you, me and Jethro,

cos everyone else
is so piss-useless.

Me?

You are part of this family. ]

(SCOFFS) But I only joined
it two minutes ago.

You don't get out of it that easily.

Um, I've got certain cash-flow
difficulties at the moment.

Yeah, right (!) ]

I'm not joking here.

What about Excellence?

There's no more marketing.
We're winding up.

Well, you've got your junk mail.
Direct marketing.

Junk mail, and the rest homes.

I sold out of direct marketing.
Why?

And I had to cut the sisters
in on the rest homes.

Those lazy Catholic cows.

What's it got to do with them?

Well, it was either pay up or go
to court over the estate. So now...

I have to sell the house.

No, you don't.

It's kind of being
forced. By the bank.

(SCOFFS) A mortgagee sale?
But it's just a temporary thing.

Uh, losing a house —
fairly f*cking permanent.

Look, the mortgage was a bit steep.

Were you planning on telling me?
I just did.

How about before we got married?

Whoa, hang on. There was three
seconds between proposing and
'I do'.

And this happened to slip your mind?

We were getting married
for Jane, not for money.

We can work something out.

We can?

Yeah. Well, you're here now and
we do need a place for Jane.

You expect me to bail you out?!

No, that is not what I'm saying.

Jesus Christ!

The point is, Loretta,
we are now man and wife.

Three grand.

You know what this is?

It's a cop car. It is a pig machine.

This is the car of a humble
constable, who does good
works for the community.

Nah, he's just throwing a party.
Some pig was turning .

Which is the speed
limit around schools.
No, that's .

Uh, no, . You see how hard
the constable has to work to
raise awareness,

otherwise people will
go driving around—

Whatever, man. A pig's a pig, right,

and if they're gonna
charge my mum with m*rder—

m*rder?
Gerard passed on.

When?
Last night. ]

Oh, dear Lord in heaven.
Hey, where are you going?

Far, far away from here.

OK, two.
Two what?

Two grand for the car.

Do you want vengeance to
rain like rocks upon me?

Wh... .

If the police were angry before,
there'll be a sea of raging blue
fury now.

What, over a car?
No, over Sergeant Gerard.

I will not take a cop car off you
now or any other member of your West
family, even if you gave it to me.

Yeah, I get it.

You get what?

He's just saying this so
that we'd give him the car.

No, I'm not. ]
OK, look, .

I don't want the car.

, then, but that's my last offer.

Van, you moron, I don't want it!

Falani!

Buy the f*cking car!

Bro, I don't think he wants the car.

Yeah, maybe.

But he's not the only fence in town.

PHONE BEEPS

Oh God. Look, I know Des is steep—

I want an annulment.

Of what?

My marriage.

(LAUGHS) So Hayden
couldn't get it up, eh?

Oh, don't be gross, Jethro.

See, non-consummation
used to be grounds—

No, this is fraud.

False pretences. Finding out
that my husband is about to
become a homeless loser,

as well as a big fat liar, and
if he expects me to bail him out...

Oh. ]
What 'oh'?

So he is losing the house, then?
You knew?

Well, I knew things weren't good.
I gave him a bit of advice about
this crap with his sisters.

Well, you didn't think
to tell me about this?

Nah. It's his business.

No, now it is my business.

Yeah, well, you wanted to marry
him, so boo-hoo. Tough sh*t.

That's your expert legal advice?

Yep, pretty much.

Jethro, this is a
breach of contract.

God, look, get over it.
Hayden will bounce back.

(SIGHS) What about Excellence?
What about it?

[ Well, doesn't it owe
him money — and me?

Yeah, look, I haven't quite worked
out the final picture for all that
yet.

I should have known I'd get
no help from you — or cash.

Why would I give cash to
a whining little bitch? ]

f*ck you, Jethro.

No, f*ck you, Loretta, cos if you
leave Hayden now, think who you're
really gonna hurt.

Jane.
No, another person
known as our mother,

who's in a whole heap more sh*t than
you at the moment, so suck it up.

BUZZER BUZZES

Hey.
How are you?

OK. How's the kids?

Fine.
[ What about Van?

Stop worrying about them.

I can't help it. What if they do
something stupid and Van's got
that crap lawyer?

It's OK. You're gonna
be out of here soon.

Yeah, right.

(SIGHS)

I keep thinking it can't be true.

I can't believe he's dead.

You didn't mean it to
go like this, Cher.

No, I did what I did, and he's dead.

Stop, Cheryl.
No, no, no.

What you said before about
Tama, you were right.

I was a mess.

I was a f*cking screw-up and I...
(HYPERVENTILATES) I lashed out at
you and L-Loretta and that cop.

SOBS: Jesus.
It's done.

(SOBS)
It's done, Cheryl.

You can't overthink—

How can I not think about this?

You were defending your child.

(SOBS)
You didn't mean to k*ll him.

(SOBS)

We'll get through this, Cheryl,...

one little step at a time.

And you can't see it now,
but things will get better.

OK.

You want me to take this?

Yeah, yeah, it's—
it's in mint condition.

Well, it's not even a real cop car.

Yeah, it is.

Nah, that would be your Holden
Commodore. Or your Ford Futura
or even your Nissan Maxima.

You could just— You could chop it up
and sell it off for parts. You used
to be, uh,... the b*mb at that.

(CHUCKLES) I was pretty damned
smokin' hot, wasn't I?

The b*mb, Aaron.

Aw, thanks, man. (LAUGHS)

But no.
Why not?

There's not a lot of demand for
these kinds of parts. I mean, if you
were talking your vintage van there.

No. No way are you cutting up
the Toolmobile, all right?

Look, I'm just saying it's not worth
my while. I can't get into any
trouble on account of Pascalle.

What? Don't tell Pascalle!

Sorry, I gotta go in
case she needs me.
Ahh.

PHONE RINGS

What?
Van, it's Bailey.

You were supposed
to come and see me.

Ah. Uh, yeah, no, I had—
I had stuff to do.

And that stuff is more
important than going to jail?

Eh?
With the convictions you have,
you could do time, Van.

So get your arse into my office.

Look, I'm trying to, all right?

(CHUCKLES)
What are you doing?

I've seen it on TV. This fella goes
out into the elements with a Kn*fe
and a camera crew,

makes these awesome shelters, bro.

Did you get stoned without me again?

I'm trying to disguise the car until
we figure out what to do with it.

Bro, this is gonna be
one awesome shelter.

All right.

Cheryl is one of my best friends,
and I totally admire her. And I
also really like you.

Oh, thank you very much.

And I used to love Carol too.

Yeah, everyone loves Carol.
She's a bitch like that.

No, wait, is Carol a bitch?

No, no, no, no. It's just— I was
just joking. Can we—? Kasey, right?

Yes.
Casey, can we talk about Cheryl?

Sure.
Would you describe her
as a violent person?

Oh, God, no.
Hey!

Cheryl would only smack someone...
Kase!

...if they deserved it,
and never a child.

Hey, hey, hey.
It's John on the telly!

Hey, haven't you heard of
sub judice? Leave us the hell alone.

I was interviewing her.

Back off.
What a dickhead.

I wasn't saying anything bad,
and John Campbell is so lovely.

And if I could give him a
makeover, he'd be totally hot.

Just don't say anything to anyone.

I've made shepherd's pie.

Ooh, I made my eggplant thing.

Looks a bit oily.
How's Mum?

She's bearing up.
She'll appear tomorrow.

Hey, is Loretta here?
Downstairs.

Come to Nana, darling.

Good girl.

What's all this sh*t
about an annulment?

Oh, did you hear from
your gay boyfriend?

You mean my brother-in-law,
as of three days ago.

Hmm, I'd be touched if I wasn't
fighting the urge to throw
something.

THUD!
Oh, I failed.

All right, you made your point.

What would that be?
That you're pissed off.

OK, I get that, but you can't
just run out after two minutes.

I don't see why not.

Marriage is for the long haul.
For better, for worse.

No, I didn't say any of that sh*t,

so I'm not breaking any promises.

Loretta.
You lied to me, Hayden, again.

Right. So we're back to
house-burning sh*t, then?

Wouldn't give you the satisfaction.

Jane needs her dinner.
Can we just go home?

Home? Do you mean the house that
you can't afford to pay for? The
one that you'd like me to pay for?

Are you coming home or not?
I'm picking not.

What, you're not seriously leaving?

Hmm. I already did.

f*ck, you're being childish.

And being in debt and lying
about it is a sign of maturity?

OK. Fine.

See you, then.
Fine by me.

I'll give you a call
about picking up Jane.
What?

The good thing is we've already
got a custody arrangement. I guess
Cheryl's days can be your days.

MINUIT'S ' FT TALL'

SOTTO VOCE: f*ck.

♪ I'm ft tall

♪ and bulletproof,

♪ and now I've worn
out both my shoes.

♪ I'm no longer lost.

♪ I'm just confused

♪ and ft tall

♪ and bulletproof.

♪ If I should die...

ALL SHOUT

♪ ...before you wake,

♪ I hope to God...

SMASH!

Let her go, you bastard!

♪ ...the mystery that generates.

♪ Is there really
that much at stake?

g*nsh*t

♪ I'm ft tall

♪ and bulletproof.

♪ I'm ft tall

♪ and bulletproof. ♪

MAGPIES WARBLE

Check it out, bro.
Even kept the weather out.

Mm.

Oh, man, don't bust it.
We can't leave it here.

Nah, but it's a real cool hut.

We take the car to Scenic Dr
and we dump it, all right.

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah, I'll take the van and
I'll meet you there, all right?

But how's that fair?
I drove it here.

Yeah, but you nicked the car, man.
I've got a baby coming, bro.

Hey, I got problems, man.

My mum— My mum's been arrested.
My sister got sh*t. My PNA's in
the car.

(SIGHS)

It's coming to me, man.
I've got the perfect disguise.

ELSTON g*n'S 'WHITE NOISE'

TYRES SQUEAL

f*ck you, pig.

TYRES SCREECH

f*ck.

Van, Van, Van.

TYRES SCREECH, HORN BLARES

TYRES SCREECH, ENGINE REVS

f*ck.

♪ I was high and my
mouth was dry, yeah.

♪ And I'm amazed,
I tell you no lies.

TYRES SCREECH

PHONE RINGS

Yeah?
Bro, what are you doing?

I'm showing this little prick.

TYRES SCREECH

♪ White noise.
♪ White noise.

♪ White noise.
♪ White noise, yeah. ♪

ENGINE REVS

ENGINE REVS, TYRES SCREECH

ENGINE REVS

TYRES SCREECH

Hey, come here, chicken-arse!

Van!
Come here, d*ck-breath!

Van, how's this keeping
a low profile, bro?

I'm not gonna let some little prick
call me a pig and get away with it.

But he thought you was a pig.

That's the whole
point of the disguise.

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

What a f*cking knob.

BOTH LAUGH

f*ck, not a bad set of wheels, bro.

VAN LAUGHS ]

Oh man, he really did
think you was a pig, bro.

OK, you don't need
to keep saying that.

[ Nah, it's been hot-wired.

It's not his?
Nah.

What kind of a mong-brain does
the fingers to a cop when he's
in a stolen car?

It's a rookie mistake, even if the
cop isn't a real cop. Let's go.

Nah, hey, hey, hey. This
could be worth something.

Oh, no f*cking way, bro.

It's not like we're stealing
it. It's already stolen.

Yeah, but we already got one
hot car to get rid of, bro.

Yeah, but now we got two.

Yeah, plus the Toolmobile.

Which is three.

Yeah, so there's three
cars and only two of us.

Yeah. (GIGGLES) Yeah, you see?

(GIGGLES) Score.

No, you egg. Who's gonna
drive the other car?

No, look, we can—
we can handle this.

Sweet.

Just...

I just gotta think.

ELSTON g*ns' 'WHITE NOISE'

I already told you.

Yeah, but now you get
two for the price of one.

No cop car.

Mm, I can probably do something
with your try-hard boy racer wheels.

Yeah? Like, how much?

Times are hard, Van. You know
Mrs Falani's got to go see her
sister in Hawaii.

She doesn't fit the
economy-class seats.

How much?

I couldn't do more than a grand.

.

Five would probably
be more realistic.

Fine. I've gotta go.
Mum's going to court.

A sad day indeed when your fine mum
takes the stand after a blameless
life.

Can we just get on with it?

Oh, well, if you're in a hurry.

Come on.
Where's Munter?

At work, I hope.

Please let her out. Please let
her out. Please let her out.

Shh.
Cheryl West on a charge of m*rder.

(CLEARS THROAT) May it please
Your Honour, Des Stewart
appearing for Mrs West.

We are applying for
bail in this matter.

My client has not been
before the courts before.

The police are opposing?

There's really no grounds for it,

and so we would respectfully request
that my client be released on bail
until her hearing.

There's no need. I did it.

I'm sorry? ]

I did it.

Your client is aware
this is a bail hearing?

I wanna plead guilty
and have this over with.

What's going on?

Uh, Your Honour, I would request
a moment to speak with my client.

I'm guilty of the charge.

Your client is aware of the
consequences of this, Mr Stewart?

She's upset. Not thinking clearly.

I know what I'm doing.

Ma'am, I really need a moment. ]

I want to plead guilty.

As Your Honour is aware, on
a serious matter, it is usual
to enter no plea—

Yeah, stop her!

Quiet, please.

Mrs West, are you aware
of what this means?

Yes, I am.
I don't think she is.

Do the prosecution have any comment?
No, Your Honour.

We need to adjourn.

I am aware that this is unusual,

but your client seems competent.
It makes a pleasant change for
the court's time not to be wasted.

With respect, we're not here to—
I am addressing Mrs West.

(CLEARS THROAT)

You are pleading guilty
to the charge of m*rder? ]

Yes, I am.

In that case, you are found guilty
of the charge. You are remanded for
sentencing in seven weeks.

SOMBRE MUSIC

MUSIC CONTINUES

What happened in there?
You tell me.

Did you know she was gonna do that?

You think I'd have let her?

You know anything about it?

Nope.
Well, you've gotta do something.

Yeah.

The judge was way out of line,
so I'll see what I can do.

Yeah, you'd better.

Oh, Munts.

OK, I've got money for Mum.

Where is she?

How could she do this? No West has
ever pleaded guilty to anything.

She's lost it.

Well, surely she can appeal
have a David or something.

She could change her mind.

Our mother isn't noted
for her mind-changing.

It might not be that easy, anyway.

I've got it. I've got it.

I'll go in there disguised as
a cop, and I'll bust her out.

That is one of the stupidest
things I've ever heard.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

It could totally work. I've
already got the car and a hat.

How?

W— I-I just— I have.

From where?

You stole a cop car?

How thick are you?

Well, I was doing it for Mum.
And then I couldn't shift it, and
Falani was just being a fat sh*t.

Brilliant, just brilliant (!)

BUZZER BUZZES

Why the hell would you
do a thing like that?

It was the right thing to do.

How in God's name could it be right?

I k*lled him.

You copped to m*rder.
That's years, at least.

You could have got off this.
You could have got manslaughter.

It wasn't.
It was an accident.

It wasn't.

When I think about it and I look
in my heart, I know what I wanted.
I know what I did.

When I picked up that bottle,
I wanted to k*ll him. I wanted
him dead. And now...

I've got what I wanted. He is dead,
and I have to pay for it. That is
the right thing to do.

Jesus, Cheryl.

What about Jane and the kids?

They're better off without me.

SOMBRE MUSIC

It's disguised.

As a car-shaped pile of twigs?
What are we gonna do with it?

We get rid of it.

Well, we could give it back.

Oh, so we walk into the cop shop
and go, 'Hi, we're the Wests —

'yeah, the ones whose mother k*lled
Sergeant Gerard. Yeah, now our
idiot brother took this cop car.'

How do you think that'll go down?

I'm trying to do what's right.

Uh, we're a bit beyond that now.

Unless you want Van to go
to jail as well as Mum.

No, she doesn't want that.

[ Fine. Take off your T-shirt.
What?

[ I need it.
No, I'll get cold.

If you want this to go away,
I need your shirt.

OK.

CRICKETS CHIRP

FLAMES CRACKLE

You really are a bit
too good at this.

I only burn things
when I have to,...

not because I want to.

WHOOMPH!

THE VEILS' 'SIT DOWN BY THE FIRE'

Cheers to Mum.

Go, Mum.

♪ Born from the night
in the roaring wind.

♪ Cast out of the shadows...

She's certainly taken things
to a whole new level.

♪ Warmed by the light
of its falling limbs.

♪ Drunk on the sadness
of a universe unmanned.

♪ Across the water,
she clings to me.

♪ And in the rising calm,
I feel her at my side.

♪ My father's singing
in the falling leaves

♪ about the complicated
beauty of a river run dry.

♪ Sit down by the fire.

♪ Sit down by the fire.

♪ There ain't no way
to get what I want.

♪ Sit down by the fire.

♪ Sit down by the fire.

♪ Oh, there ain't no way
to get what I want. ♪