07x12 - Pirates of Palm Beach

[bunniefuu]

I'm waiting for the m.E.'S report and...

I'll get back to you.

Okay, sweetie pie.

This is the last cart.

It's also the last straw.

Honey, why couldn't you
leave the damn things at home?

The last time I went to my mother's

when I came back, they were half dead.

Things got busy.

I was hardly ever home.

Exactly my point.

You see, here you can't ignore them.

They'll be staring you

straight in the face.

Look at the bright side... all the oxygen

my little green babies will produce.

Smells better in here already.

The only thing I can smell in here

is fertilizer.

Cassy: Hello.

Hi, sweetie.

How are you?

Hi, frannie.

Harry, what's next?

Waterfalls, couple of parrots?

You should get a little pond
with some Japanese fish.

You going to do stand-up or give
me a report on the dead woman?

Her name is Madeleine kidd

a private investigator from Miami.

Working or on vacation?

Cassy: Well, we're not sure.

She rented a dive boat

some scuba equipment
from a local dive shop.

Said she'd be gone a couple of hours.

When she didn't come back

dive shop owner calls .

Tom: Coast guard

found her

under the boat in feet of water.

Her lungs were full of sea water.

The cause of death

was internal bleeding

from a ruptured artery
at the base of the skull.

Somebody applied fatal
pressure to the neck?

Tom: It looks that way.

Harry, would you be interested

in going with me to check out her office?

She's not going?

Dentist.

Again?!

Cassy: I know...

Come on, it'll be fun.

Hey, afterwards

we can go plant shopping, maybe

get you a fern.

Or some night-blooming Jasmine.

Neither one of you happen to be funny.

But there is a great Cuban
restaurant right off Lincoln.

Either she was a real slob...

Or somebody got here before us.

Now, why is it that crooks feel they got to

ransack a place?

Is it really that much quicker

than staging a nice, neat search?

Oh, come on, Harry, you ever had the urge

to trash something?

Yeah, I have.

Did you ever hear of Sam bonnet?

Sam bonnet, he was the head of homicide

when you came down here, wasn't he?

Yeah, that's the guy.

He had it in for me from
the minute I showed up.

Every crap case

he made sure I got.

And then when I'd solve them

he would take all the credit.

I used to go home and tear up my apartment

knock over bookcases

break glasses against the wall.

Made you feel better, right?

Not a bit.

Well, it doesn't always work.

Then one night, I was working late.

I realized that everybody
else had gone home.

I was the only one there.

I went over to Sam's
office and I tried the door

and because there is a
god in heaven, it opened.

And you went crazy.

No.

I just snuck into his office

and totally rearranged his files.

Took him six months to
get them back in shape.

Meantime, his boss was on
his case for lack of organization.

Proved to be cathartic?

Like you can't imagine.

Listen, we're wasting our time here.

There's nothing here.

No address book, no filofax.

No case files that point
to anything in palm beach.

Let's see who she called
regularly in palm beach.

Hey, why don't we find that out?

Tom: Exactly why did you hire

a private detective, Mr. Drake?

Man: Why?

Because I'm getting ripped off!

It's something I'm not used to.

I'm usually the ripper, not the rippee

if you get my drift.

You report it?

Police...

That's the procedure.

That would be nice.

Look... I make a living

in real estate, you know?

I buy, I sell, whatever.
Makes no difference.

I make money; That's just my job.

What my passion is, my love is?

Deep-sea treasure hunting.

Like sunken ships.

No, like guys

who drowned with money belts on.

Of course, sunken ships.

How do you find them?

How do I find them?

I research them.

That's how I find them.

And I do it myself.

You know, libraries, archives.

I spend more time in the stacks

than the average Ph.D. candidate.

Ever been to the stacks?

Not really.

A lot of weird people there.

I even learned Spanish so
I could read the logs myself.

Listen, can we get back to Madeline kidd?

Yeah.

So...

I'm excavating a Spanish
galleon that sunk off the coast

of palm beach in the s.

The Santa marta.

So, I salvaged about
% of the wreck, right?

Some of the stuff is good.

But for the most part,
the inventory matches

the manifest cargo log like crap.

I guesstimated there's
, million down there.

So far, he's only brought up two mill.

So what's missing?

Really expensive stuff.

An emerald crucifix

a gold filigree brooch

a truckload of aztec goodies.

Like I said, I'm getting ripped off.

And I hired Madeline to find out who.

Well, whoever it is found her first.

Excuse me

are you Anne bishop?

Depends.

I'm sergeant St. John, palm beach police.

You don't look like a cop.

Well, you don't look
like a dive shop owner.

Best in palm beach.

I'm sure.

I got a bone to pick with you.

Yeah, what's up?

I got all my stuff back from evidence

except my akona scuba knife.

Serrated blade about a foot long.

It's not cheap.

I'll have the station check it out.

I'd appreciate it.

So, I thought you homicide
detectives worked in teams.

We do.

Uh, my partner's on his
way back from Miami now.

So, what's he like?

Ryan?

He's okay.

Well, actually, he's more than okay.

Is he single?

I beg your pardon?

Hey, most of the male
customers I get around here

could double for Moby d*ck.

Any chance I get for a
good-looking guy, I grab it.

Well, I'll have him come over
and ask you some questions.

I'd appreciate it.

What do you know about Madeline kidd?

Only what I got off her driver's license

when she rented the gear.

You knew she was alone
when you rented to her?

I always try to buddy people up

but she was adamant about going solo.

She had her c-card, she knew the risk.

Did she ever mention the Santa marta?

She didn't mention much about anything

but divers are like that.

That's one of the reasons
they love the sport...

Divine silence.

So, uh, do you dive?

I took a weekend course in Cayman last year

but I just don't have much of
a chance to dive around here.

What about your partner?

Sergeant Ryan and the ocean

aren't the best of friends.

He was caught in a
riptide when he was five.

Mmm, too bad.

Diving is like total freedom.

You know, no rules, no regulations.

You can do anything you want down there.

You know what the best way to dive is?

What's that?

Totally nude.

Not a stitch.

The water on your skin is
just like an all-body massage.

It's a shame he won't reconsider.

You broach it to him like that

and, uh...

It's worth a shot.

Yeah.

Oh, here it is.

My copy of the sales slip.

Madeline kidd rented
an outboard and full gear.

She was on her third full
day when she disappeared.

So, she didn't tell you
what she was diving for

or where she was diving, huh?

No, but she did have a marine camera

with a strobe flash.

There wasn't a camera

on the evidence sheet.

It's probably down there with my knife.

Well, police divers can do
another search tomorrow.

Well, why wait? You
said you never get to dive.

You can do it on the clock.

Sounds pretty good.

Let me let my partner know where I am

and, uh, maybe he can stop by.

Okay.

Ryan?

Hey, St. John.

I'm at the dive shop.

Great, so I'll just head
straight to the station.

No, I think you should come over here.

What, there's a problem?

It's more like an opportunity.

The shop owner's taking me diving.

What? What, like a date?

Well, the owner is a woman.

Definitely a woman.

So why should I come out there?

So you can ride shotgun while we go diving.

Hey, no, no, no.

You know how I am about the water.

Okay, you can stay on the
shore and watch the dive boat.

Now, cass...

Just, just trust me, okay?

You'll be glad I asked.

Bye.

You ready?

Let's go.

Get down!

Get down!

Over here!

Man: We got , gold doubloons.

We got , silver pieces of eight.

That makes one of the
richest wrecks in Florida history.

But Drake still isn't happy.

He thinks there should be more.

You know he's suspicious.

Yeah, I'm in charge of this lash-up.

Who else would he bitch to?

He's been moaning for months

that the treasure inventory doesn't match

with the ship's logbook.

Well, how do you account
for the missing items?

You'd have to be naive to think we're

the first to have a crack at this wreck.

She could've been
stripped any time since...

The invention of scuba.

The original crew could've
plundered her as she sank.

You think Drake's being paranoid?

Once these investors hear
something's down there

they think it'll be the riches

of the western world.

You've had this problem before?

Comes with the territory.

Drake isn't the first.

Certainly won't be the last.

Did you have any idea that
Drake hired a private detective?

Yeah, he'd mentioned that.

I told him to go ahead.

I didn't have anything to hide.

Are you saying the detective
turned up something?

She turned up dead.

You think I had something to do with that?

Just asking questions, Mr. Drummond.

Fine.

Ask around.

Nobody's going to say anything

but good about me and my crew.

These boys are like family here.

Never had a problem.

Not one missing gold doubloon.

We'll need a crew roster.

I'll fax it over this afternoon.

But while you're asking questions

I'd appreciate a little discretion.

Rumors get started easy here.

Almost as easy as lawsuits.

We'll be models of diplomacy.

Good.

I'm glad we understand one another.

Both have a nice day, now.

I loved treasure hunts when I was a kid.

What, at birthday parties?

No, real treasure hunting.

In del rio, Texas?

The only time you guys ever saw water was

during a flash flood.

Treasures can be buried anywhere.

I must have dug up half that town

looking for gold and buried jewels.

And not only that...

I had a proper and fitting pirate name.

St. John the savage?

No...

Cassandra!

Like long John silver's
ship in treasure island.

Right, you played with pirate Barbie.

There were female pirates, you know.

Mary read... she cut off all of her hair

and she dressed like a boy

just so she could stow
away on a pirate ship.

That's what she

told her parents.

Tom: What makes you an expert

on buccaneers?

I've read treasure island a dozen times.

I read Peter Pan, but I never
wanted to be Peter or Wendy.

I always wanted to be long
John silver or captain hook.

Because they were much cooler.

I think being a pirate's about

as cool as getting a root canal.

Well, romance was never your strong card.

Romance? These guys were hijackers.

They'd just as soon cut your throat

as give you the time of day.

If you really ticked them off

they'd make you eat your own lips and ears.

Ah, you always look at the negative side.

Not to mention their
sense of personal hygiene.

You could usually smell
them before you saw them.

They thought they could

cover everything in whale oil.

You know, I always thought
whale oil smelled... kind of sexy.

Well, it depends where you slap it on.

Cassy: So basically, you document

everything raised off the wreck.

You got it.

All those years spent working for a Ph.D.

Ending up making me a doctor of appraisal.

It's not so bad.

Pays a lot better

than digging up skulls in Borneo.

Dr. Roberts, is it possible
somebody could have stolen

part of the treasure?

It's possible.

But... probably not.

Most of the items in question...

The emerald crucifix, the aztec icons...

They're really just too
large for anyone to take

off a salvage ship without
either me or drummond knowing.

No! Oh, please, don't touch that!

Please, um...

There are only of those in existence.

Let's not make it ten.

Sorry.

What if someone hid it underwater

and then went back to retrieve it later?

Possible, but divers always
go in tandem for safety reasons.

So at least two would have
to be party to any scam.

Well, true, but you rarely
have the same two dive buddies.

Are you saying the whole ship was involved?

Say somebody managed to steal something...

It would be really hard for them to sell.

The authenticity has to be
documented, otherwise, uh...

The artifacts aren't worth nearly as much.

But there are private collectors?

In order to tap into that market

it's a whole other ball game.

You have to cultivate
contacts and build trust.

Marketing stolen artwork is
a lot harder than people think.

Madeline kidd was probably k*lled

because somebody didn't want her snooping

around that wreck.

Can you put a name to that someone?

Not yet. Crew's clean.

We ran a background check on
salvage company employees.

And other than the occasional

bar fight, d.U.I.

Nobody's got a record.

Hm... what about the missing camera?

Tom: Well, police divers searched

a half-mile radius

from where the body was found.

And we're missing the knife.

What knife?

Shark knife Madeline kidd rented.

She could have used it
to fight off the attacker.

She maybe even

nailed him with it.

Did you try the hospitals,
lifeguard station?

Goose eggs, Harry.

What about doc Morgan?

Who?

The guy's been hanging
around the Marina for years.

He's got more gossip than the enquirer.

Hey, doc.

Hey, Annie.

What brings you down to the cheap seats?

I've got some people
who want to talk to you.

You're not from the state
medical board, are you?

No, we're investigating a m*rder.

You got any truck with
the state medical board?

Forgive doc... he's got a little problem.

With the state medical board.

Yeah, we picked up on that.

I don't like people snooping.
;Around my business.

He's not a real doctor.

But I'm good at stitching things

whether it's a mainsail or human skin.

You see any knife injuries lately?

What if I have?

Well, we would consider
it a real favor if you told us.

How big a favor?

Young guy, couple of days ago.

Bad wounds on his shoulder and chest.

I stitched him up.

Cassy: So you have any idea

what caused the cuts?

Kid said it was coral burns.

Got too close to the reef, but...

He was a lousy liar.

They were knife wounds.

$ buy us a name?

No.

I'm not into naming names.

Not for $, not for $,.

Well, there's no need to name names.

We've got a salvage crew roster right here.

Now, if the spirit moves you, just grunt.

So we get a grunt for $?

Could be.

Thank you.

Howell Davis.

Check this out.

This guy's got more wet
suits than you got sports coats.

Yeah, well, I bet he looks
stupid when he goes out dancing.

Ooh.

This is better than bobbing for apples.

Let's see.

Wait a minute.

There's a gold filigree brooch

on Drake's list of items
that were never recovered.

Ah.

You think one of drummond's
crew had sticky fingers?

Couldn't be.

After all, these guys are all like family.

Yeah, well, I think howell's
about to be disowned.

How you feeling?

Lousy.

Well, I'm not going to help that much.

Cops are looking for you.

Since when?

Since about an hour ago.

They stopped by, asked me for your address.

You didn't have to give it to them.

That'd be real smart, wouldn't it?

I had stuff soaking there.

I figured.

Then why the hell would
you tell them where I lived?

Have you heard the term "fall guy"?

I can't tell you how
many times I told that kid

to cut back on his drinking.

And you just

happened to find him?

Reeking like a fraternity house

Sunday morning.

I called the paramedics.

I thought... I thought
he was just passed out.

I went down there.

He wasn't breathing.

He was a good kid.

I know, like family.

What is that supposed to mean?

Oh, it's just kind of coincidental

that you found him so soon after he fell.

Is that an accusation?

Just an observation.

You're free to go, Mr. Drummond.

Someone'll contact you
later with follow-up questions.

Fine.

Anything I can do to help.

Yes, yes, I understand.

Look, howell is dead.

Does that satisfy you?

Old howell's death sure ties up

a few loose ends.

Yeah, neat as a Christmas ribbon.

Roberts said there would be

at least two working together.

Think he and drummond
were on the buddy system?

Well, there's no honor among thieves

probably less among pirates.

Oh, don't tell me now

you and your romantic visions?

I'm reassessing.

When did you start listening

to classical music?

Frannie told me that music

is fertilizer to a plant's soul.

Did she tell you that different plants

like different music?

Cassy: These are tropical plants.

They may not be into Mozart.

What do you think I should be playing?

Oh, Jimmy buffett.

Bob Marley.

How about Beethoven's funeral march?

Tell me about howell Davis.

We found his vehicle

at the Marina... a red pickup truck.

Like the one driven by
whoever shot at Anne and me.

But there's no w*apon, so no way to know.

Any way to connect him
with Madeline kidd's death?

Cassy: Not directly.

Circumstantial evidence

like the equipment in his bedroom.

And he needed medical
treatment for knife wounds

after kidd went missing.

And he had in his possession

a brooch kidd was hired to find.

Ah-ha, and the other missing stuff?

I didn't turn up anything.

But if he does have a partner

that's where the rest of the stuff is.

You got any ideas on how
to find this theoretical partner?

Good. Why don't you two go to work on that?

Leave me in peace
with my little floral friends.

Would you mind catching that? Thank you.

Woman: Where's the artifact now?

In the police evidence room.

Well, it can't stay there.

Air can damage that kind of specimen.

If it isn't stored in sea
water, the metal deteriorates.

Really.

How do you explain this?

Muriatic acid and electrolysis clips.

It's everything you need

to clean salvaged items.

We found four boxes of this stuff

in howell Davis's apartment.

That's enough to clean
a shipload of artifacts.

So there's more treasure somewhere.

Howell Davis wasn't
smart enough to organize

something on that scale.

You said we had to assume

howell had a partner.

I did.

Tom: Assuming these guys know

that this stuff is sensitive to air

where's the best place to stash it?

Probably someplace
on the bottom of the sea.

This is a nautical chart
of the palm beach coast.

The Santa marta wreck is here.

And this is where the coast guard

found Madeline kidd's body.

Any obvious place to
hide the stolen treasure?

Not around the wreck.

There's too much chance

another member of the
salvage team would find it.

There's a reef halfway between the wreck

and where the body was found.

Lots of nooks and crannies.

So we can make a search of that area?

Sure you can.

But remember it took years

to find the Santa marta.

And that's a lot bigger

than what you'll be looking for.

Yeah. Okay, thank you.

By the way...

Yeah?

Where is your partner?

Oh, taking care of some paperwork.

You're not keeping him away from here?

Why would I do something like that?

Oh. You think we have a thing.

Are you...?

No, not a chance.

How come?

We were married.

Oh.

Yeah.

Harry?

I need to be filled in

on how you're doing.

I got my cell phone.

It's all right, I want a field report.

What are you talking about?

I had to get out, okay?

The plants were making me nuts.

I think I o.D.'D on oxygen.

So I'm here.

Fill me in, where are you?

Nowhere. There's no way to find

where they hid the stolen stuff.

It's too large an area to cover.

Why couldn't they be like John silver

hide the loot on land?

With a big "x marks the spot"?

Yeah.

They dive in teams? Yeah.

So how come the partner k*lled howell?

Easy... to keep all the stuff for himself.

But you told me Drake said

they only recovered about % of the loot.

Why not wait till they bring it
all up, and then dump howell?

You know what? You need to
get out of the office more often.

Let's go see Tom.

Why don't you go?

You're not coming back to the office?

Nope. I'm going to stay out
here and breathe diesel fuel.

Listen, when you get back to the office...

I know, you want me to
check on your little floral friends.

I would be forever

in your debt.

Yes, you are.

Bye.

Ah...

Why don't you just relax?

How can I relax?

Everything is under control.

Two people...

Are dead.

You call that under control?

Howell is the one who got sloppy.

We're just cleaning up his mess, remember?

Yeah, but we didn't have to k*ll him.

Yes, we did.

Oh, come on, eddy...

The police will see it's an accident.

Yeah, just like they did

with Madeline kidd, huh?

With howell gone

there's no way to trace us to kidd.

You hope.

I know.

Well, I don't.

What? You don't know whether I'm right

or whether

you want to go through with it?

Fine, eddy, fine.

I get everything.

Is that what you want?

You'll never get the stuff without me.

Suddenly you're the
only diver on the planet

is that it?

Eddy...

Eddy... come on.

Come on.

What's it going to be?

Count me in.

Good.

Cassy: Who's he got in there with him?

Tom: I don't know. It doesn't

look like anybody.

He's talking to someone.

Probably himself.

Out loud?

Yeah, you do it all the time.

No way.

Shopping list, cases you're working on.

No, I write those things down.

First you talk to yourself.

Delusional.

You are becoming delusional.

Right, I'm imagining this.

Do you want a coffee?

Yeah, thanks.

People don't talk to themselves.

I heard that.

It's a joke.

Right.

It was a joke.

People don't talk to themselves.

Look at this.

I spritz, I snip, I've become a hairdresser

to a bunch of plants.

I'd like to tell frannie it's
either you guys or me.

But I'll be honest.

I don't know which way she would choose.

What is with the sauna, skipper?

Oh, frannie wants me to
keep the plants nice and snug.

This isn't snug; This is Hades.

Enough with the plants.

Tell me something

about the treasure.

We haven't got anything.

Nothing... this is not a
word I wanted to hear.

We've had divers all over the reef.

And they found...

Nada. Not even a gold doubloon.

The partner?

We got the dive logs from drummond.

Straight rotation.

Each week, howell Davis worked

with other divers.

Well, , if you include drummond.

One of them has to be the partner.

But which one?

All the guy has to do

is lie low till the heat's off.

Let the loot sit

a couple of weeks, maybe even a year.

Unless we give him a compelling reason

to retrieve it immediately.

Such as...

Madeline kidd's camera.

Well, we told you we
never found the camera.

Who says we have to?

Well, sergeants.

Any closer to finding the k*ller?

Closer all the time.

Nice camera.

It was Madeline kidd's.

We found it this morning.

We're getting the film processed.

We should have a good idea

where the loot is.

How's that find the k*ller?

Fingerprints.

In salt water?

Yeah. Metal corrodes,
but any smooth surface...

We can get prints.

Cassy: Police divers are going

down tomorrow.

You might want to have
your crew on standby.

Why's that?

In case we find anything.

You'll want to salvage it.

Fine, we'll be ready.

Finding the camera's a long way
from finding the treasure, eddy.

Look, they have already
pinpointed a location.

That's impossible.

If she photographed the markers

it'll lead them to the hiding place.

Let them find it.

They can't trace it to us.

I get five years down the drain

and a possible m*rder rap.

There's always another wreck, eddy.

Not like this one.

You just said it.

It isn't worth the risk.

I know it's hard

to walk away from it all,
but that's just the point.

If we stay calm, we will walk away, right?

And I promise you, I will find some way

to make it up to you.

Okay?

Hey.

How does that feel?

Good.

Mmm.

And how does that feel?

Better.

That's what I thought.

You should be arrested for plant abuse.

It's not my fault, honey.

This one is drowning.

But you said copious water.

I didn't mean the johnstown flood.

And look at this one.

It hasn't been watered enough.

Oh, the poor baby.

What?

Where did this come from?

The air vent?

That's it, Harry, that's it.

That's it.

No more plant management for you.

It's over.

Yeah, uh... lipschitz.

Yes.

I'll be right there.

It's police business, honey.

I got to go.

You're the Ted Bundy of the plant world!

You truly disappoint me, eddy.

Bertie?

You know what hurts me?

When I can't hold your
attention during sex.

What are you talking about?

The whole time we were in bed

I could practically hear you planning this.

I'm just going to take my half.

You can do whatever you want with yours.

It's all going back.

First in the boat, then in the ocean.

What if I say no?

Then I'll just have to do it myself.

Freeze!

Get up.

You okay?

Tom: Yeah, I'm fine.

Catching pirates is more fun on dry land.

Let's go.

Hey, you guys.

Hey.

Hey.

Cassy: What brings you here?

Tom wanted me to drop something off.

Oh, yeah.

Now, like I said.

Your best bet...

Practice with it at home.

Get used to the feel
before our first class.

Great, at home, okay.

Okay?

I'll see you Saturday.

Yup, you will.

Bye.

Bye.

What class?

What are you up to, snorkel boy?

I just thought it was time
I overcame my phobia.

Since when

are you afraid of brunettes?

Not brunettes.

Going under the water.

Oh... are you going to do it nude

so you can experience

the all-body massage?

Yeah, yeah, I think I'll do it nude.

Well, just remember one thing.

What's that?

Cold water makes things shrink.

You know.