03x10 - Episode 10

[bunniefuu]

Want to hear something?

Want to hear something?
It's a fact.

Want to hear something?
It's a fact.
You can get blood from a stone.

You just have to throw it hard

You just have to throw it hard
enough.

You just have to throw it hard
enough.
It's a fact.

[ g*n fires, insects chirp ]

That was good.

That was good.
I really liked that.

That was good.
I really liked that.
It was a good movie.

I really liked that.
It was a good movie.
I really liked that.

It was a good movie.
I really liked that.
It was fun, eh?

I really liked that.
It was fun, eh?
It was -- that was a fun

It was fun, eh?
It was -- that was a fun
movie.

It was -- that was a fun
movie.
I wonder how it ended.

Movie.
I wonder how it ended.
You wanted to stay.

I wonder how it ended.
You wanted to stay.
No, I didn't.

You wanted to stay.
No, I didn't.
You did.

No, I didn't.
You did.
You wanted to stay.

You did.
You wanted to stay.
I'm sorry.

You wanted to stay.
I'm sorry.
No.

I'm sorry.
No.
I'm sorry I made you leave.

No.
I'm sorry I made you leave.
We can go back in.

I'm sorry I made you leave.
We can go back in.
No!

We can go back in.
No!
You were just being nice.

No!
You were just being nice.
No!

You were just being nice.
No!
You were tired.

No!
You were tired.
Okay.

You were tired.
Okay.
We can go see another movie

Okay.
We can go see another movie
if you want.

We can go see another movie
if you want.
No, I don't think I want to

If you want.
No, I don't think I want to
see another movie.

No, I don't think I want to
see another movie.
Well, what do you want to do?

See another movie.
Well, what do you want to do?
I don't know.

Well, what do you want to do?
I don't know.
[ Sighs ]

I don't know.
[ Sighs ]
want to go see a dead body?

Do you prefer instant or drip or

Do you prefer instant or drip or
perked coffee?

Do you prefer instant or drip or
perked coffee?
You're gonna think I'm crazy,

Perked coffee?
You're gonna think I'm crazy,
but I've always liked instant

You're gonna think I'm crazy,
but I've always liked instant
coffee better than regular, real

But I've always liked instant
coffee better than regular, real
coffee.

Coffee better than regular, real
coffee.
I do, too!

Coffee.
I do, too!
Here we are.

I do, too!
Here we are.
Oh, god.

Here we are.
Oh, god.
Oh, jeez.

Oh, god.
Oh, jeez.
Ta da!

Oh, jeez.
Ta da!
Wow.

Ta da!
Wow.
That's cool.

Wow.
That's cool.
Jeez.

That's cool.
Jeez.
Ah! Ah! Ah!

Jeez.
Ah! Ah! Ah!
I can't believe you showed

Ah! Ah! Ah!
I can't believe you showed
her the body.

I can't believe you showed
her the body.
I'm really sorry about that.

Her the body.
I'm really sorry about that.
But you know how it is.

I'm really sorry about that.
But you know how it is.
It just came up in conversation.

But you know how it is.
It just came up in conversation.
But we swore a blood oath.

It just came up in conversation.
But we swore a blood oath.
I'm really sorry about that.

But we swore a blood oath.
I'm really sorry about that.
I promise that I won't do it

I'm really sorry about that.
I promise that I won't do it
again.

I promise that I won't do it
again.
I really mean it.

Again.
I really mean it.
[ Whimpers ]

I really mean it.
[ Whimpers ]
hi.

[ Whimpers ]
hi.
I don't think we've met.

Hi.
I don't think we've met.
[ Whimpering continues ]

I don't think we've met.
[ Whimpering continues ]
wonderful, wonderful,

[ Whimpering continues ]
wonderful, wonderful,
wonderful movie.

Wonderful, wonderful,
wonderful movie.
Oh, yeah.

Wonderful movie.
Oh, yeah.
So...what now?

Oh...

Oh...
Oh, here, here.

Oh...
Oh, here, here.
Yeah.

Oh, here, here.
Yeah.
Okay.

Yeah.
Okay.
Aahhh!

Okay.
Aahhh!
Aahhh!

Aahhh!
Aahhh!
I knew it!

Aahhh!
I knew it!
I knew I couldn't trust you!

I knew it!
I knew I couldn't trust you!
It came up in conversation.

I knew I couldn't trust you!
It came up in conversation.
Oh, no!

It came up in conversation.
Oh, no!
Don't k*ll me!

Oh, no!
Don't k*ll me!
What am I going to do with

Don't k*ll me!
What am I going to do with
you?

What am I going to do with
you?
Aah!

You?
Aah!
[ Insects chirp ]

Have you seen scott lately?

Have you seen scott lately?
Yeah, he's acting kind of

Have you seen scott lately?
Yeah, he's acting kind of
scary.

Yeah, he's acting kind of
scary.
Yeee-eee-eee!

Scary.
Yeee-eee-eee!
Yeah!

Yeee-eee-eee!
Yeah!
He's been acting so weird and

Yeah!
He's been acting so weird and
different lately.

He's been acting so weird and
different lately.
You know what he did today?

Different lately.
You know what he did today?
He stole my bag of vegetables.

You know what he did today?
He stole my bag of vegetables.
No!

He stole my bag of vegetables.
No!
Yeah!

I think it was his trip to

I think it was his trip to
europe.

I think it was his trip to
europe.
I think it changed him.

Europe.
I think it changed him.
You're right!

I think it changed him.
You're right!
Actually, I noticed it --

You're right!
Actually, I noticed it --
oh, my god!

Actually, I noticed it --
oh, my god!
Scott just came on to me.

Oh, my god!
Scott just came on to me.
What?

Scott just came on to me.
What?
What?

What?
What?
Are you gonna press charges?

What?
Are you gonna press charges?
No, bruce, I just want to

Are you gonna press charges?
No, bruce, I just want to
find out what's going on.

No, bruce, I just want to
find out what's going on.
You're right.

Find out what's going on.
You're right.
Let's go!

You're right.
Let's go!
Come on, kevin.

Let's go!
Come on, kevin.
We'll follow him on foot.

Come on, kevin.
We'll follow him on foot.
I'll take paul lynde to

We'll follow him on foot.
I'll take paul lynde to
block.

I'll take paul lynde to
block.
Oh!

Block.
Oh!
Thank you, darling.

Oh!
Thank you, darling.
I really appreciate it.

Thank you, darling.
I really appreciate it.
I was getting lonely up here.

I really appreciate it.
I was getting lonely up here.
I was wondering where everyone

I was getting lonely up here.
I was wondering where everyone
went.

I was wondering where everyone
went.
Oh, what a genius.

Went.
Oh, what a genius.
[ Doorbell rings ]

Oh, what a genius.
[ Doorbell rings ]
come in!

[ Doorbell rings ]
come in!
Oh, hi, guys.

Come in!
Oh, hi, guys.
Hello, scott.

Oh, hi, guys.
Hello, scott.
Scott, what the hell is going

Hello, scott.
Scott, what the hell is going
on?

Scott, what the hell is going
on?
What do you mean?

On?
What do you mean?
What's with you acting so

What do you mean?
What's with you acting so
weird at work?

What's with you acting so
weird at work?
Come on.

Weird at work?
Come on.
Oh, sweet jesus, he must have

Come on.
Oh, sweet jesus, he must have
lost control.

Oh, sweet jesus, he must have
lost control.
He?!

Lost control.
He?!
What the hell are you talking

He?!
What the hell are you talking
about?

What the hell are you talking
about?
Yeah.

About?
Yeah.
That person at work...

Yeah.
That person at work...
I-it isn't me.

That person at work...
I-it isn't me.
Yeah, that can be said of all

I-it isn't me.
Yeah, that can be said of all
of us, scott.

Yeah, that can be said of all
of us, scott.
So, what's your point, scott?

Of us, scott.
So, what's your point, scott?
Yeah.

So, what's your point, scott?
Yeah.
And what the hell is this thing?

Yeah.
And what the hell is this thing?
Don't touch that!

And what the hell is this thing?
Don't touch that!
What?

Don't touch that!
What?
Okay, that's a scott thompson

What?
Okay, that's a scott thompson
android, phase one.

Okay, that's a scott thompson
android, phase one.
That thing at work is

Android, phase one.
That thing at work is
scott thompson, phase two.

That thing at work is
scott thompson, phase two.
I built them to take my place

Scott thompson, phase two.
I built them to take my place
for a while.

I built them to take my place
for a while.
Why?

For a while.
Why?
Why, kevin?

Why?
Why, kevin?
I don't know.

Why, kevin?
I don't know.
I felt I needed more time off.

I don't know.
I felt I needed more time off.
But you just had a vacation.

I felt I needed more time off.
But you just had a vacation.
I know, but europe was

But you just had a vacation.
I know, but europe was
exhausting.

I know, but europe was
exhausting.
Everything's at the top of a

Exhausting.
Everything's at the top of a
hill.

Everything's at the top of a
hill.
Well, that's just great,

Hill.
Well, that's just great,
scott.

Well, that's just great,
scott.
While you're here lounging

Scott.
While you're here lounging
around in your pile of pillows,

While you're here lounging
around in your pile of pillows,
that thing is back in the studio

Around in your pile of pillows,
that thing is back in the studio
ruining your reputation.

That thing is back in the studio
ruining your reputation.
What do you mean?

Ruining your reputation.
What do you mean?
Well, he's coming on to every

What do you mean?
Well, he's coming on to every
man in sight, scott.

Well, he's coming on to every
man in sight, scott.
What?

Man in sight, scott.
What?
He even came on to...

What?
He even came on to...
Kevin.

He even came on to...
Kevin.
Kevin?

Kevin.
Kevin?
Actually, I was flattered,

Kevin?
Actually, I was flattered,
but stern.

Actually, I was flattered,
but stern.
Oh, my god.

But stern.
Oh, my god.
I know what must have happened.

Oh, my god.
I know what must have happened.
I must have programmed in my own

I know what must have happened.
I must have programmed in my own
libido, but I forgot to factor

I must have programmed in my own
libido, but I forgot to factor
in societal restriction.

Libido, but I forgot to factor
in societal restriction.
You know what this means?

In societal restriction.
You know what this means?
No man is safe.

You know what this means?
No man is safe.
Not even...

No man is safe.
Not even...
Mark!

Not even...
Mark!
Ay-yi-yi-yi!

Mark!
Ay-yi-yi-yi!
No, scott.

Ay-yi-yi-yi!
No, scott.
N-no, scott.

No, scott.
N-no, scott.
Scott!

Gerald!

Gerald!
Gerald!

Gerald!
Gerald!
Gerry!

Gerald!
Gerry!
Ger!

Gerry!
Ger!
Ggg!

Ger!
Ggg!
Listen, gerald, I'm gonna put

Ggg!
Listen, gerald, I'm gonna put
you on hold for a minute to gain

Listen, gerald, I'm gonna put
you on hold for a minute to gain
power.

You on hold for a minute to gain
power.
[ Easy-listening music plays ]

Power.
[ Easy-listening music plays ]
gerald, you old underwear

[ Easy-listening music plays ]
gerald, you old underwear
stainer!

Gerald, you old underwear
stainer!
Gerald, you old bag of pucks,

Stainer!
Gerald, you old bag of pucks,
how are you?

Gerald, you old bag of pucks,
how are you?
Good, man.

How are you?
Good, man.
What can I do you for?

Good, man.
What can I do you for?
Well, listen.

What can I do you for?
Well, listen.
I was just eyeballing this fax

Well, listen.
I was just eyeballing this fax
you sent over here, and it

I was just eyeballing this fax
you sent over here, and it
occurred to me that we could get

You sent over here, and it
occurred to me that we could get
a free meal out of this if we

Occurred to me that we could get
a free meal out of this if we
talked about it over dinner.

A free meal out of this if we
talked about it over dinner.
Let me think about it.

Talked about it over dinner.
Let me think about it.
[ Music resumes ]

Let me think about it.
[ Music resumes ]
gerald?

[ Music resumes ]
gerald?
Present.

Gerald?
Present.
If you're talking about a

Present.
If you're talking about a
couple of drinks, a couple of

If you're talking about a
couple of drinks, a couple of
steaks, and a couple of

Couple of drinks, a couple of
steaks, and a couple of
tax-deductible receipts, then

Steaks, and a couple of
tax-deductible receipts, then
I'm in.

Tax-deductible receipts, then
I'm in.
Great.

I'm in.
Great.
Can you come now?

Great.
Can you come now?
I'm hungry.

Can you come now?
I'm hungry.
Jeez, I can't come right now.

I'm hungry.
Jeez, I can't come right now.
I'm sort of busy.

Jeez, I can't come right now.
I'm sort of busy.
I'm right in the midst of

I'm sort of busy.
I'm right in the midst of
spanking my grandpa.

I'm right in the midst of
spanking my grandpa.
There's an idea.

Spanking my grandpa.
There's an idea.
Gwen, will you send in my

There's an idea.
Gwen, will you send in my
grandpa, please?

Gwen, will you send in my
grandpa, please?
Right away, sir.

Grandpa, please?
Right away, sir.
Am I to understand that your

Right away, sir.
Am I to understand that your
grandfather was a bad boy today?

Am I to understand that your
grandfather was a bad boy today?
Yes, gerald, that's right.

Grandfather was a bad boy today?
Yes, gerald, that's right.
Well, first of all, he thought

Yes, gerald, that's right.
Well, first of all, he thought
he could photocopy something by

Well, first of all, he thought
he could photocopy something by
himself, and then he got all

He could photocopy something by
himself, and then he got all
tangled up in the cord, and then

Himself, and then he got all
tangled up in the cord, and then
he just wouldn't stop whistling.

Tangled up in the cord, and then
he just wouldn't stop whistling.
What about your granddad?

He just wouldn't stop whistling.
What about your granddad?
Well, let's just say that a

What about your granddad?
Well, let's just say that a
vacuum cleaner isn't a toy, is

Well, let's just say that a
vacuum cleaner isn't a toy, is
it?

Vacuum cleaner isn't a toy, is
it?
No, it's not.

It?
No, it's not.
So I'm gonna be about another

No, it's not.
So I'm gonna be about another
hour or so.

So I'm gonna be about another
hour or so.
Okay, you take the full hour,

Hour or so.
Okay, you take the full hour,
and why don't you meet me in the

Okay, you take the full hour,
and why don't you meet me in the
deli where you met your wife?

And why don't you meet me in the
deli where you met your wife?
Okay.

Deli where you met your wife?
Okay.
Bye-bye, bye-bye.

Okay.
Bye-bye, bye-bye.
And guess who's not coming

Bye-bye, bye-bye.
And guess who's not coming
'cause he was a bad boy?

And guess who's not coming
'cause he was a bad boy?
You, old-timer.

[ Coughs ]

[ Coughs ]
what?

[ Coughs ]
what?
Are you kidding?

What?
Are you kidding?
Are you pulling my leg till my

Are you kidding?
Are you pulling my leg till my
ears don't work?

Are you pulling my leg till my
ears don't work?
Let me get this straight, so I

Ears don't work?
Let me get this straight, so I
can laugh till I get old and

Let me get this straight, so I
can laugh till I get old and
die.

Can laugh till I get old and
die.
You want me to work for minimum

Die.
You want me to work for minimum
wage?

You want me to work for minimum
wage?
Right, huh?

Wage?
Right, huh?
And let me guess.

Right, huh?
And let me guess.
You get the rest of the money,

And let me guess.
You get the rest of the money,
say, maximum wage?

You get the rest of the money,
say, maximum wage?
Oh, do I get to wear a paper

Say, maximum wage?
Oh, do I get to wear a paper
hat, too?

Oh, do I get to wear a paper
hat, too?
Minimum wage, hmm.

Hat, too?
Minimum wage, hmm.
Maybe I missed something, but I

Minimum wage, hmm.
Maybe I missed something, but I
thought abraham lincoln had

Maybe I missed something, but I
thought abraham lincoln had
freed the slaves.

Thought abraham lincoln had
freed the slaves.
And even slaves didn't have to

Freed the slaves.
And even slaves didn't have to
pay off their student loan.

And even slaves didn't have to
pay off their student loan.
You know what?

Pay off their student loan.
You know what?
It's my fault.

You know what?
It's my fault.
It truly is.

It's my fault.
It truly is.
See, I should have checked the

It truly is.
See, I should have checked the
mirror before I left the house

See, I should have checked the
mirror before I left the house
this morning, because I

Mirror before I left the house
this morning, because I
obviously have the word "dork"

This morning, because I
obviously have the word "dork"
stenciled on my forehead.

Obviously have the word "dork"
stenciled on my forehead.
Hmm...minimum wage.

Stenciled on my forehead.
Hmm...minimum wage.
Do I want to work for as little

Hmm...minimum wage.
Do I want to work for as little
money as is legally possible?

Do I want to work for as little
money as is legally possible?
Let me carefully consider your

Money as is legally possible?
Let me carefully consider your
offer.

Let me carefully consider your
offer.
Oh, I've got the answer here in

Offer.
Oh, I've got the answer here in
the pocket of my $ suit

Oh, I've got the answer here in
the pocket of my $ suit
jacket.

Listen.

Listen.
Listen.

Listen.
Listen.
I don't get out of bed for less

Listen.
I don't get out of bed for less
than a hundred.

I don't get out of bed for less
than a hundred.
And, if you want me dressed,

Than a hundred.
And, if you want me dressed,
it's another .

And, if you want me dressed,
it's another .
Minimum wage?

It's another .
Minimum wage?
Why don't you ask your wife to

Minimum wage?
Why don't you ask your wife to
work for minimum wage?

Why don't you ask your wife to
work for minimum wage?
Why don't you work for minimum

Work for minimum wage?
Why don't you work for minimum
wage, pete brownshoes?

Why don't you work for minimum
wage, pete brownshoes?
You know, it would be a better

Wage, pete brownshoes?
You know, it would be a better
career move if I just got drunk

You know, it would be a better
career move if I just got drunk
and sold my blood.

Career move if I just got drunk
and sold my blood.
Minimum wage?

And sold my blood.
Minimum wage?
That's not a salary.

Minimum wage?
That's not a salary.
That's an honorarium.

That's not a salary.
That's an honorarium.
But listen.

That's an honorarium.
But listen.
If the universe collapses, and I

But listen.
If the universe collapses, and I
decide that dignity isn't as

If the universe collapses, and I
decide that dignity isn't as
important as, say, starving,

Decide that dignity isn't as
important as, say, starving,
then I'll think about it.

Important as, say, starving,
then I'll think about it.
Yeah, right.

Ay-yi-yi-yi!

Ay-yi-yi-yi!
No, scott!

Ay-yi-yi-yi!
No, scott!
N-no, scott!

No, scott!
N-no, scott!
Scott!

N-no, scott!
Scott!
[ Whimpering ]

Scott!
[ Whimpering ]
no, bruce.

[ Whimpering ]
no, bruce.
I've got to do this.

No, bruce.
I've got to do this.
Scott!

I've got to do this.
Scott!
Scott!

Scott!
Scott!
I want you, baby!

Scott!
I want you, baby!
Hmm...

I want you, baby!
Hmm...
No!

Hmm...
No!
[ Grunting ]

Damn it!

Damn it!
Wrong one.

Sorry.

Take that.

Take that.
Thank god.

Take that.
Thank god.
It's over, boys.

Thank god.
It's over, boys.
Well, let's destroy the damn

It's over, boys.
Well, let's destroy the damn
thing.

Well, let's destroy the damn
thing.
No, dave!

Thing.
No, dave!
It's my responsibility.

No, dave!
It's my responsibility.
Besides, half my stereo system's

It's my responsibility.
Besides, half my stereo system's
in there.

Besides, half my stereo system's
in there.
Let's get back to our

In there.
Let's get back to our
unscripted lives.

Let's get back to our
unscripted lives.
You okay, mark?

Unscripted lives.
You okay, mark?
[ Speaking gibberish ]

You okay, mark?
[ Speaking gibberish ]
good.

[ Speaking gibberish ]
good.
You m--

Well, you know, I think I

Well, you know, I think I
talked you into the right unit.

Well, you know, I think I
talked you into the right unit.
You wouldn't have been happy

Talked you into the right unit.
You wouldn't have been happy
with that little thing.

You wouldn't have been happy
with that little thing.
Now you trust me with this.

With that little thing.
Now you trust me with this.
This thing will make you happy.

Now you trust me with this.
This thing will make you happy.
Okay.

This thing will make you happy.
Okay.
Okay.

Okay.
Okay.
Can I help you?

Okay.
Can I help you?
I...

Can I help you?
I...
Hmm? What?

I...
Hmm? What?
What is it?

Hmm? What?
What is it?
Hmm? What is it?

What is it?
Hmm? What is it?
Hmm? Hmm?

Hmm? What is it?
Hmm? Hmm?
How much?

Hmm? Hmm?
How much?
For that unit?

How much?
For that unit?
Yeah.

For that unit?
Yeah.
That's a very good unit.

Yeah.
That's a very good unit.
That is a fine unit.

That's a very good unit.
That is a fine unit.
You've got a good eye.

That is a fine unit.
You've got a good eye.
This unit, I could let you have

You've got a good eye.
This unit, I could let you have
for...uh...$.

This unit, I could let you have
for...uh...$.
What do you say, huh?

For...uh...$.
What do you say, huh?
What do you say?

What do you say, huh?
What do you say?
That's a good deal.

What do you say?
That's a good deal.
What do you think?

That's a good deal.
What do you think?
You think that's nice?

What do you think?
You think that's nice?
I like that.

You think that's nice?
I like that.
It's a good deal.

I like that.
It's a good deal.
What do you think, hmm?

It's a good deal.
What do you think, hmm?
I -- I don't think so.

What do you think, hmm?
I -- I don't think so.
Okay, tell me.

I -- I don't think so.
Okay, tell me.
How much were you planning to

Okay, tell me.
How much were you planning to
spend today, hmm?

How much were you planning to
spend today, hmm?
A dollar.

Spend today, hmm?
A dollar.
A dollar.

A dollar.
A dollar.
That's not a lot of money.

A dollar.
That's not a lot of money.
Well, I'm a college student.

That's not a lot of money.
Well, I'm a college student.
I understand.

Well, I'm a college student.
I understand.
How about $?

I understand.
How about $?
Ooh, I don't know.

How about $?
Ooh, I don't know.
Um...let's say a dollar?

Ooh, I don't know.
Um...let's say a dollar?
Tell you what I'm gonna do,

Um...let's say a dollar?
Tell you what I'm gonna do,
'cause you're a vet --

Tell you what I'm gonna do,
'cause you're a vet --
I'm a college student.

'Cause you're a vet --
I'm a college student.
Practically the same thing.

I'm a college student.
Practically the same thing.
I will let you have this unit

Practically the same thing.
I will let you have this unit
for, uh...

I will let you have this unit
for, uh...
$.

For, uh...
$.
Ooh, I don't know.

$.
Ooh, I don't know.
That's a nice deal.

Ooh, I don't know.
That's a nice deal.
That's a pretty good deal, I

That's a nice deal.
That's a pretty good deal, I
think.

That's a pretty good deal, I
think.
What, murray?

Think.
What, murray?
Not now, murray.

What, murray?
Not now, murray.
I can't deal with this now,

Not now, murray.
I can't deal with this now,
murray!

I can't deal with this now,
murray!
Not now, murray!

Murray!
Not now, murray!
Not now, murray!!

Not now, murray!
Not now, murray!!
$.

Not now, murray!!
$.
I -- I don't think so.

$.
I -- I don't think so.
Why don't you get the hell

I -- I don't think so.
Why don't you get the hell
out of my store?

Why don't you get the hell
out of my store?
Fine.

Out of my store?
Fine.
Where are you going?!

Fine.
Where are you going?!
You told me to get the hell

Where are you going?!
You told me to get the hell
out of your store.

You told me to get the hell
out of your store.
That's a business term!

Out of your store.
That's a business term!
I'm a businessman!

That's a business term!
I'm a businessman!
I want to do business here!

I'm a businessman!
I want to do business here!
Well, I want to do business.

I want to do business here!
Well, I want to do business.
Well, I want to do business.

Well, I want to do business.
Well, I want to do business.
Well, let's do business.

Well, I want to do business.
Well, let's do business.
Let's do business.

Well, let's do business.
Let's do business.
$.

Let's do business.
$.
Ooh.

$.
Ooh.
What?

Ooh.
What?
I see where you're coming

What?
I see where you're coming
from, but the best I can offer

I see where you're coming
from, but the best I can offer
is...a dollar.

From, but the best I can offer
is...a dollar.
So, you're not from around

Is...a dollar.
So, you're not from around
here, right?

So, you're not from around
here, right?
You're not from here?

Here, right?
You're not from here?
You're visiting?

You're not from here?
You're visiting?
You just get off the bus?

You're visiting?
You just get off the bus?
You staying long?

You just get off the bus?
You staying long?
I hope you have a nice visit.

You staying long?
I hope you have a nice visit.
I moved here when I was a

I hope you have a nice visit.
I moved here when I was a
week old!

I moved here when I was a
week old!
Aha!

Week old!
Aha!
If you were from here, you would

Aha!
If you were from here, you would
know that's a good deal!

If you were from here, you would
know that's a good deal!
$ -- End of story.

Know that's a good deal!
$ -- End of story.
No, I don't think so.

$ -- End of story.
No, I don't think so.
I'll give you a dollar, though.

No, I don't think so.
I'll give you a dollar, though.
$!

I'll give you a dollar, though.
$!
What if I give you a dollar?

$!
What if I give you a dollar?
Let me tell you something,

What if I give you a dollar?
Let me tell you something,
mister!

Let me tell you something,
mister!
No, let me tell you

Mister!
No, let me tell you
something!

No, let me tell you
something!
I was in a hunting accident

Something!
I was in a hunting accident
once.

I was in a hunting accident
once.
I wasn't hunting myself, but I

Once.
I wasn't hunting myself, but I
was pinned by another man's dead

I wasn't hunting myself, but I
was pinned by another man's dead
elk.

Was pinned by another man's dead
elk.
And I lost a lot of blood.

Elk.
And I lost a lot of blood.
I was down to three tablespoons.

And I lost a lot of blood.
I was down to three tablespoons.
And I vowed to my maker that if

I was down to three tablespoons.
And I vowed to my maker that if
I made it through that scrape

And I vowed to my maker that if
I made it through that scrape
unharmed that I would not pay

I made it through that scrape
unharmed that I would not pay
more than a dollar for that

Unharmed that I would not pay
more than a dollar for that
unit!

More than a dollar for that
unit!
I can't do it.

Unit!
I can't do it.
It's too skinny.

I can't do it.
It's too skinny.
I can't fit in this deal.

It's too skinny.
I can't fit in this deal.
I don't fit in here.

I can't fit in this deal.
I don't fit in here.
What, murray?

I don't fit in here.
What, murray?
Not now, murray!

What, murray?
Not now, murray!
Can't you see I'm doing

Not now, murray!
Can't you see I'm doing
business?

Can't you see I'm doing
business?
Not now, murray!

Business?
Not now, murray!
Not now, murray!

Not now, murray!
Not now, murray!
Not now, murray!

Not now, murray!
Not now, murray!
Not now, murray!!

Not now, murray!
Not now, murray!!
$.

Not now, murray!!
$.
A dollar sound good?

$.
A dollar sound good?
Get the hell out of my store.

A dollar sound good?
Get the hell out of my store.
I mean it this time.

Get the hell out of my store.
I mean it this time.
Hey, pal?

I mean it this time.
Hey, pal?
Can I offer you a drink?

Hey, pal?
Can I offer you a drink?
Sure.

Can I offer you a drink?
Sure.
Good.

Sure.
Good.
Come here.

Good.
Come here.
Huh!

Come here.
Huh!
Let's do a little business.

Huh!
Let's do a little business.
Let's do some business.

Let's do a little business.
Let's do some business.
$.

Let's do some business.
$.
A dollar.

$.
A dollar.
Ah!

A dollar.
Ah!
You're making me crazy!

Ah!
You're making me crazy!
You make me crazy!

You're making me crazy!
You make me crazy!
Do you want to know what you

You make me crazy!
Do you want to know what you
look like to me?

Do you want to know what you
look like to me?
Come on!

Look like to me?
Come on!
I want you to see what you look

Come on!
I want you to see what you look
like to me!

I want you to see what you look
like to me!
Gimme gimme gimme for a dollar!

Like to me!
Gimme gimme gimme for a dollar!
For a dollar!

Gimme gimme gimme for a dollar!
For a dollar!
Gimme gimme gimme for a dollar!

For a dollar!
Gimme gimme gimme for a dollar!
Sold!

Gimme gimme gimme for a dollar!
Sold!
All right!

Sold!
All right!
There you go!

All right!
There you go!
Screw with me, man!

There you go!
Screw with me, man!
Not now, murray.

Screw with me, man!
Not now, murray.
I feel your breath, murray.

Not now, murray.
I feel your breath, murray.
Not now.

I feel your breath, murray.
Not now.
Did you smell the money, murray?

Want to hear something else?

Want to hear something else?
My uncle's been acting real

Want to hear something else?
My uncle's been acting real
weird since he lost his job.

My uncle's been acting real
weird since he lost his job.
It's a fact.

Weird since he lost his job.
It's a fact.
Go ahead, laugh.

It's a fact.
Go ahead, laugh.
Have some fun.

Go ahead, laugh.
Have some fun.
I suppose you're ashamed of me.

Have some fun.
I suppose you're ashamed of me.
I guess people deal with

I suppose you're ashamed of me.
I guess people deal with
stress differently.

I guess people deal with
stress differently.
It's a fact!

Ah, full speed ahead.

Ah, full speed ahead.
[ Bell clangs ]

Ah, full speed ahead.
[ Bell clangs ]
the ship is smooth sailing.

[ Bell clangs ]
the ship is smooth sailing.
Everything is going fine.

The ship is smooth sailing.
Everything is going fine.
No complaints from me, and I'm

Everything is going fine.
No complaints from me, and I'm
the captain.

No complaints from me, and I'm
the captain.
Oh!

The captain.
Oh!
Except for that iceberg.

Oh!
Except for that iceberg.
Better veer to the right.

Except for that iceberg.
Better veer to the right.
That's veer right.

Better veer to the right.
That's veer right.
Let's, uh, uh...miss that

That's veer right.
Let's, uh, uh...miss that
iceberg.

Let's, uh, uh...miss that
iceberg.
You handled that very well,

Iceberg.
You handled that very well,
captain.

You handled that very well,
captain.
Yes, captain.

Captain.
Yes, captain.
Well, I just gave the order.

Yes, captain.
Well, I just gave the order.
You're the one who actually

Well, I just gave the order.
You're the one who actually
turned the...uh, uh...big

You're the one who actually
turned the...uh, uh...big
steering wheel.

Turned the...uh, uh...big
steering wheel.
Full speed ahead, sir?

Steering wheel.
Full speed ahead, sir?
Oh, good idea, first mate.

Full speed ahead, sir?
Oh, good idea, first mate.
I'll learn your name later.

Oh, good idea, first mate.
I'll learn your name later.
[ Bell clangs ]

I'll learn your name later.
[ Bell clangs ]
but, you know, one thing keeps

[ Bell clangs ]
but, you know, one thing keeps
nagging away at the back of my

But, you know, one thing keeps
nagging away at the back of my
brain.

Nagging away at the back of my
brain.
Why an iceberg in the south

Brain.
Why an iceberg in the south
pacific?

Why an iceberg in the south
pacific?
Doesn't that seem odd?

Pacific?
Doesn't that seem odd?
You know, it does seem odd,

Doesn't that seem odd?
You know, it does seem odd,
sir, but we didn't worry about

You know, it does seem odd,
sir, but we didn't worry about
it because it didn't seem to

Sir, but we didn't worry about
it because it didn't seem to
bother you.

It because it didn't seem to
bother you.
Do we have one of those

Bother you.
Do we have one of those
large, flat, -dimensional

Do we have one of those
large, flat, -dimensional
representations of the earth's

Large, flat, -dimensional
representations of the earth's
surface?

Representations of the earth's
surface?
A map, sir?

Surface?
A map, sir?
Uh, no.

A map, sir?
Uh, no.
But that should do for now.

Uh, no.
But that should do for now.
This isn't a full-scale

But that should do for now.
This isn't a full-scale
representation of the earth's

This isn't a full-scale
representation of the earth's
surface, is it?

Representation of the earth's
surface, is it?
No, sir.

Surface, is it?
No, sir.
Then what we have to do is

No, sir.
Then what we have to do is
assume that a small distance on

Then what we have to do is
assume that a small distance on
the map is a much larger

Assume that a small distance on
the map is a much larger
distance in reality.

The map is a much larger
distance in reality.
Okeydoke.

Distance in reality.
Okeydoke.
So this is where we should be,

Okeydoke.
So this is where we should be,
in tasmania, and this is where

So this is where we should be,
in tasmania, and this is where
we actually are, in...uh-oh...

In tasmania, and this is where
we actually are, in...uh-oh...
The north pole.

We actually are, in...uh-oh...
The north pole.
Now, mr. Navigator, we're this

The north pole.
Now, mr. Navigator, we're this
far off course.

Now, mr. Navigator, we're this
far off course.
How great a distance in reality

Far off course.
How great a distance in reality
does this represent?

How great a distance in reality
does this represent?
Oh...seven million miles,

Does this represent?
Oh...seven million miles,
sir?

Oh...seven million miles,
sir?
Seven mill-- you're not a

Sir?
Seven mill-- you're not a
very good navigator, are you?

Seven mill-- you're not a
very good navigator, are you?
No, sir!

Very good navigator, are you?
No, sir!
How were you hired, again?

No, sir!
How were you hired, again?
You liked my hair, sir.

How were you hired, again?
You liked my hair, sir.
I take the blame, people.

You liked my hair, sir.
I take the blame, people.
I accept responsibility.

I take the blame, people.
I accept responsibility.
Attention, everybody by the

I accept responsibility.
Attention, everybody by the
pool.

Attention, everybody by the
pool.
Please don't dive in because the

Pool.
Please don't dive in because the
pool is quite likely frozen.

Please don't dive in because the
pool is quite likely frozen.
This is a direct result of

Pool is quite likely frozen.
This is a direct result of
accidentally being in the

This is a direct result of
accidentally being in the
north pole.

Accidentally being in the
north pole.
I suggest you get out of your

North pole.
I suggest you get out of your
wet swimsuits and into something

I suggest you get out of your
wet swimsuits and into something
warm.

Wet swimsuits and into something
warm.
Mea culpa.

Warm.
Mea culpa.
We've had a long day.

Mea culpa.
We've had a long day.
What say we knock off early?

We've had a long day.
What say we knock off early?
Don't you think, sir, we

What say we knock off early?
Don't you think, sir, we
should get back on course?

Don't you think, sir, we
should get back on course?
Ah, yes.

Should get back on course?
Ah, yes.
Well, let's see.

Ah, yes.
Well, let's see.
Since we've been going the wrong

Well, let's see.
Since we've been going the wrong
way forward, then to go the

Since we've been going the wrong
way forward, then to go the
right way we simply have to

Way forward, then to go the
right way we simply have to
reverse.

Right way we simply have to
reverse.
Doesn't that make sense?

Reverse.
Doesn't that make sense?
Yeah!

Doesn't that make sense?
Yeah!
That makes great sense!

Yeah!
That makes great sense!
Yeah!

That makes great sense!
Yeah!
Full steam behind!

Yeah!
Full steam behind!
Okay.

Full steam behind!
Okay.
[ Bell clangs ]

Okay.
[ Bell clangs ]
[ all yelling ]

What could that be?

What could that be?
Captain?

What could that be?
Captain?
Remember that iceberg we just

Captain?
Remember that iceberg we just
narrowly missed?

Remember that iceberg we just
narrowly missed?
Uh-huh.

Narrowly missed?
Uh-huh.
Well, I think we just backed

Uh-huh.
Well, I think we just backed
into it.

Well, I think we just backed
into it.
Now, what's that old seamen's

Into it.
Now, what's that old seamen's
saying about who gets on the

Now, what's that old seamen's
saying about who gets on the
lifeboats first?

Saying about who gets on the
lifeboats first?
Is it captain and his favorites?

Lifeboats first?
Is it captain and his favorites?
No, sir, it's women and

Is it captain and his favorites?
No, sir, it's women and
children.

No, sir, it's women and
children.
But it's a moot point anyway,

Children.
But it's a moot point anyway,
sir, since you told us to get

But it's a moot point anyway,
sir, since you told us to get
rid of the lifeboats.

Sir, since you told us to get
rid of the lifeboats.
Did i?

Rid of the lifeboats.
Did i?
Why did i?

Did i?
Why did i?
You felt they didn't inspire

Why did i?
You felt they didn't inspire
confidence, sir.

You felt they didn't inspire
confidence, sir.
I am on a losing streak.

Confidence, sir.
I am on a losing streak.
Yeah.

I am on a losing streak.
Yeah.
All right, everyone, fall in.

Yeah.
All right, everyone, fall in.
Lads, this is a very difficult

All right, everyone, fall in.
Lads, this is a very difficult
tim--

Lads, this is a very difficult
tim--
you look like a floater!

Tim--
you look like a floater!
All right!

You look like a floater!
All right!
I'm ready!

All right!
I'm ready!
Damn the torpedos.

I'm ready!
Damn the torpedos.
All hands prepare to sink.

Damn the torpedos.
All hands prepare to sink.
Men, you're on shore leave!

All hands prepare to sink.
Men, you're on shore leave!
Yee-ha!

Men, you're on shore leave!
Yee-ha!
Hold me tight.

Yee-ha!
Hold me tight.
Hold me tight.

Hold me tight.
Hold me tight.
Hey, you want to hear

Hold me tight.
Hey, you want to hear
something?

Hey, you want to hear
something?
It's a fact.

Something?
It's a fact.
The "fact" girl wants more

It's a fact.
The "fact" girl wants more
money.

The "fact" girl wants more
money.
No, no, no, murray!

Money.
No, no, no, murray!
You're my lawyer.

No, no, no, murray!
You're my lawyer.
You tell them.

You're my lawyer.
You tell them.
I don't do another sketch till I

You tell them.
I don't do another sketch till I
get triple scale.

I don't do another sketch till I
get triple scale.
That's it.

Get triple scale.
That's it.
I'm done.

That's it.
I'm done.
Go!

I'm done.
Go!
Go!

Go!
Go!
Yeah, so, it's, uh, it's a

Go!
Yeah, so, it's, uh, it's a
fact, right?

Yeah, so, it's, uh, it's a
fact, right?
Which way do I go?

Fact, right?
Which way do I go?
Back there.

Which way do I go?
Back there.
Running?

Back there.
Running?
Yep.

Running?
Yep.
[ Coughing ]

Yep.
[ Coughing ]
go!

[ Coughing ]
go!
Keep going!

Go!
Keep going!
No, you got to go further!

Keep going!
No, you got to go further!
Keep going!

No, you got to go further!
Keep going!
Okay, good.

Unbelievable.

Unbelievable.
That was...fantastic.

Unbelievable.
That was...fantastic.
[ Robotically ] yes, scott,

That was...fantastic.
[ Robotically ] yes, scott,
you are a fantastic lover.

[ Robotically ] yes, scott,
you are a fantastic lover.
You are a a- stud.

You are a fantastic lover.
You are a a- stud.
Oh!

You are a a- stud.
Oh!
Oh!