03x11 - Episode 11

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Kids in the Hall". Aired: October 16, 1988 – April 15, 1995.*
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The Kids frequently appeared as themselves rather than as characters, and some sketches dealt directly with the fact that they were a comedy troupe producing a TV show.
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03x11 - Episode 11

Post by bunniefuu »

[ Dance music plays ]

[ Music continues ]

Hey!

Hey!
Where are the babes?

Hey!
Where are the babes?
I'm crushing your head!

Where are the babes?
I'm crushing your head!
I'm crushing your head!

I'm crushing your head!
I'm crushing your head!
I'm crushing your head!

I'm crushing your head!
I'm crushing your head!
Got you!

I'm crushing your head!
Got you!
You big, drunken and drooling

Got you!
You big, drunken and drooling
sexaholic business guy!

You big, drunken and drooling
sexaholic business guy!
That'll teach you to think with

Sexaholic business guy!
That'll teach you to think with
your crotch!

That'll teach you to think with
your crotch!
You horrible, little man!

Crazy half-wit.

Crazy half-wit.
What the hell you doing?

Crazy half-wit.
What the hell you doing?
Girls, girls, girls.

What the hell you doing?
Girls, girls, girls.
Not fair.

Girls, girls, girls.
Not fair.
Next.

Hey, hon, what do you say we

Hey, hon, what do you say we
jump up and get dressed and go

Hey, hon, what do you say we
jump up and get dressed and go
out and have a glorious

Jump up and get dressed and go
out and have a glorious
breakfast, huh?

Out and have a glorious
breakfast, huh?
I'd love to, honey, but I

Breakfast, huh?
I'd love to, honey, but I
seem to be paralyzed by a deep,

I'd love to, honey, but I
seem to be paralyzed by a deep,
dark, brooding depression.

Seem to be paralyzed by a deep,
dark, brooding depression.
Oh.

Dark, brooding depression.
Oh.
Well, when did this happen?

Oh.
Well, when did this happen?
I don't know!

Well, when did this happen?
I don't know!
Sometime after the wedding

I don't know!
Sometime after the wedding
ceremony, I guess.

Sometime after the wedding
ceremony, I guess.
Oh.

Ceremony, I guess.
Oh.
Well, I guess maybe our

Oh.
Well, I guess maybe our
marriage was a mistake, huh?

Well, I guess maybe our
marriage was a mistake, huh?
I guess maybe we should get a

Marriage was a mistake, huh?
I guess maybe we should get a
divorce, huh?

I guess maybe we should get a
divorce, huh?
Bingo!

Divorce, huh?
Bingo!
That's it!

Bingo!
That's it!
That's it, yes!

That's it!
That's it, yes!
Let's get a divorce!

That's it, yes!
Let's get a divorce!
That's it.

Let's get a divorce!
That's it.
Yes, honey!

That's it.
Yes, honey!
Come on, let's go eat, and then

Yes, honey!
Come on, let's go eat, and then
let's get a divorce!

Come on, let's go eat, and then
let's get a divorce!
No, wait!

Let's get a divorce!
No, wait!
Let's get a divorce first.

No, wait!
Let's get a divorce first.
Then we'll eat!

Let's get a divorce first.
Then we'll eat!
Boy, all of a sudden I feel

Then we'll eat!
Boy, all of a sudden I feel
great!

Boy, all of a sudden I feel
great!
Aw, come on, honey!

Great!
Aw, come on, honey!
Let's go!

Aw, come on, honey!
Let's go!
Let's get a divorce!

I don't know what's wrong.

I don't know what's wrong.
Guess I'm just a little bit

I don't know what's wrong.
Guess I'm just a little bit
nervous.

Guess I'm just a little bit
nervous.
It's okay.

Nervous.
It's okay.
I understand.

It's okay.
I understand.
Yeah.

I understand.
Yeah.
Maybe we could try again, uh, in

Yeah.
Maybe we could try again, uh, in
the morning.

Maybe we could try again, uh, in
the morning.
Yeah, in the morning.

The morning.
Yeah, in the morning.
Sure.

Yeah, in the morning.
Sure.
Good night.

[ Door opens, closes ]

[ Both laughing ]

Shh!

Shh!
Sh-shh!

Shh!
Sh-shh!
A-choo!

No, I did not know that you

No, I did not know that you
had a twin.

No, I did not know that you
had a twin.
So you're telling me that on

Had a twin.
So you're telling me that on
even days, I've been sleeping

So you're telling me that on
even days, I've been sleeping
with your brother?

Even days, I've been sleeping
with your brother?
Yeah.

With your brother?
Yeah.
And he's been sleeping with

Yeah.
And he's been sleeping with
my wife.

And he's been sleeping with
my wife.
I hope you're not mad,

My wife.
I hope you're not mad,
'cause my brother and I have a

I hope you're not mad,
'cause my brother and I have a
good thing going here.

Aaahhhh!

Come on, worms.

Come on, worms.
Save this planet.

Come on, worms.
Save this planet.
Got to do the right thing.

Save this planet.
Got to do the right thing.
Hi, father.

Got to do the right thing.
Hi, father.
Hey, guy.

Hi, father.
Hey, guy.
Listen, son, you were out all

Hey, guy.
Listen, son, you were out all
night.

Listen, son, you were out all
night.
Where were you?

Night.
Where were you?
Uh, out partying?

Where were you?
Uh, out partying?
That's cool.

Uh, out partying?
That's cool.
Listen, do you want to smoke a

That's cool.
Listen, do you want to smoke a
doobie with your old man?

Listen, do you want to smoke a
doobie with your old man?
No, thanks, dad.

Doobie with your old man?
No, thanks, dad.
It's : in the morning.

No, thanks, dad.
It's : in the morning.
Your loss.

It's : in the morning.
Your loss.
I'll split it with my lawyer.

Morning.

Morning.
Morning.

Morning.
Morning.
What is it?

Morning.
What is it?
It is so cold out there my

What is it?
It is so cold out there my
head nearly fell off.

It is so cold out there my
head nearly fell off.
Yeah, and you know what else

Head nearly fell off.
Yeah, and you know what else
is weird?

Yeah, and you know what else
is weird?
Last night it was almost warm.

Is weird?
Last night it was almost warm.
And now it's colder?

Last night it was almost warm.
And now it's colder?
Very trippy.

And now it's colder?
Very trippy.
What is going on?

Very trippy.
What is going on?
Obviously another ice age is

What is going on?
Obviously another ice age is
approaching.

Obviously another ice age is
approaching.
Just what I need.

Approaching.
Just what I need.
Oh!

Just what I need.
Oh!
I can tell it's going to be a

Oh!
I can tell it's going to be a
strange day.

I can tell it's going to be a
strange day.
Are you kidding?

Strange day.
Are you kidding?
It already is.

Are you kidding?
It already is.
Today on my bus everybody was a

It already is.
Today on my bus everybody was a
complete freak.

Today on my bus everybody was a
complete freak.
Are you serious?

Complete freak.
Are you serious?
Yeah, like, I get on first of

Are you serious?
Yeah, like, I get on first of
all, and everybody is a total

Yeah, like, I get on first of
all, and everybody is a total
zombie.

All, and everybody is a total
zombie.
And then this old woman stares

Zombie.
And then this old woman stares
at me twice.

And then this old woman stares
at me twice.
I almost had to get off.

At me twice.
I almost had to get off.
The same thing happened on my

I almost had to get off.
The same thing happened on my
bus.

The same thing happened on my
bus.
No way.

Bus.
No way.
Yes.

No way.
Yes.
Two stops after I got on, these

Yes.
Two stops after I got on, these
two unbelievably short people

Two stops after I got on, these
two unbelievably short people
got on...

Two unbelievably short people
got on...
Oh, yeah.

Got on...
Oh, yeah.
...and the way they were

Oh, yeah.
...and the way they were
looking at me.

...and the way they were
looking at me.
I could tell they wanted to bite

Looking at me.
I could tell they wanted to bite
my ankles.

I could tell they wanted to bite
my ankles.
Eww!

My ankles.
Eww!
Oh, did you get a paper?

Eww!
Oh, did you get a paper?
Mm-hmm.

Oh, did you get a paper?
Mm-hmm.
You are a genius.

Mm-hmm.
You are a genius.
And two cappuccinos.

You are a genius.
And two cappuccinos.
I take that back.

And two cappuccinos.
I take that back.
You are a god.

I take that back.
You are a god.
But you wouldn't believe what

You are a god.
But you wouldn't believe what
I had to go through to get them.

But you wouldn't believe what
I had to go through to get them.
What?

I had to go through to get them.
What?
Well, when I got there, they

What?
Well, when I got there, they
were cleaning the machine.

Well, when I got there, they
were cleaning the machine.
I thought I was going to die in

Were cleaning the machine.
I thought I was going to die in
the doorway.

I thought I was going to die in
the doorway.
I would have lost it

The doorway.
I would have lost it
completely.

I would have lost it
completely.
I nearly k*lled everyone.

Completely.
I nearly k*lled everyone.
And then they turned it back on.

I nearly k*lled everyone.
And then they turned it back on.
For you?

And then they turned it back on.
For you?
Yeah.

For you?
Yeah.
It's 'cause you're so

Yeah.
It's 'cause you're so
brilliant, you know.

It's 'cause you're so
brilliant, you know.
Yeah, I know.

Brilliant, you know.
Yeah, I know.
I want to have your children.

Yeah, I know.
I want to have your children.
Let's build a spaceship and find

I want to have your children.
Let's build a spaceship and find
our own planet.

Let's build a spaceship and find
our own planet.
I mean it.

Our own planet.
I mean it.
Oh, look!

I mean it.
Oh, look!
Cher bought a chalet in aspen.

Oh, look!
Cher bought a chalet in aspen.
Don't say that.

Cher bought a chalet in aspen.
Don't say that.
Why?

Don't say that.
Why?
Two weeks ago, I'm out to

Why?
Two weeks ago, I'm out to
lunch with clara.

Two weeks ago, I'm out to
lunch with clara.
We did practically nothing

Lunch with clara.
We did practically nothing
except talk about cher and

We did practically nothing
except talk about cher and
aspen.

Except talk about cher and
aspen.
Ooh, that is trippy.

Aspen.
Ooh, that is trippy.
That's weird.

Ooh, that is trippy.
That's weird.
I need some thorazine.

That's weird.
I need some thorazine.
Oh, look at this.

I need some thorazine.
Oh, look at this.
Look at those stupid

Oh, look at this.
Look at those stupid
south africans.

Look at those stupid
south africans.
When will you ever learn?

South africans.
When will you ever learn?
They're insane.

When will you ever learn?
They're insane.
There's gonna be an armageddon,

They're insane.
There's gonna be an armageddon,
thousands slaughtered.

There's gonna be an armageddon,
thousands slaughtered.
Millions, millions!

Thousands slaughtered.
Millions, millions!
And speaking of insanity, and I

Millions, millions!
And speaking of insanity, and I
can't believe that you brought

And speaking of insanity, and I
can't believe that you brought
it up.

Can't believe that you brought
it up.
Lacey went mental at the speak

It up.
Lacey went mental at the speak
last night.

Lacey went mental at the speak
last night.
Oh, I heard.

Last night.
Oh, I heard.
You did?

Oh, I heard.
You did?
No, tell me.

You did?
No, tell me.
Well, she was slam-dancing in

No, tell me.
Well, she was slam-dancing in
that fabulous new parka, and

Well, she was slam-dancing in
that fabulous new parka, and
all of a sudden her buttons

That fabulous new parka, and
all of a sudden her buttons
exploded off.

All of a sudden her buttons
exploded off.
It went everywhere.

Exploded off.
It went everywhere.
We looked for hours, days.

It went everywhere.
We looked for hours, days.
We couldn't find a single one!

We looked for hours, days.
We couldn't find a single one!
I wouldn't go back there

We couldn't find a single one!
I wouldn't go back there
ever.

I wouldn't go back there
ever.
No.

Ever.
No.
We're not open yet.

No.
We're not open yet.
It's me.

We're not open yet.
It's me.
Oh, my god, it's lacey!

It's me.
Oh, my god, it's lacey!
I can't believe it's her!

Oh, my god, it's lacey!
I can't believe it's her!
This is getting out of

I can't believe it's her!
This is getting out of
control.

This is getting out of
control.
My brain is fried.

Control.
My brain is fried.
I need a lobotomy!

My brain is fried.
I need a lobotomy!
What's going on?

I need a lobotomy!
What's going on?
We were talking about you,

What's going on?
We were talking about you,
like, seconds...

We were talking about you,
like, seconds...
Yeah.

Like, seconds...
Yeah.
...before you walked in.

Yeah.
...before you walked in.
Oh, don't tell me that!

...before you walked in.
Oh, don't tell me that!
It's true!

Oh, don't tell me that!
It's true!
Oh, don't tell me that!

It's true!
Oh, don't tell me that!
Why not?

Oh, don't tell me that!
Why not?
Well, well, I wasn't going to

Why not?
Well, well, I wasn't going to
come in here.

Well, well, I wasn't going to
come in here.
Then I did.

Come in here.
Then I did.
Well, what made you?

Then I did.
Well, what made you?
I don't know!

Well, what made you?
I don't know!
Oh!

I don't know!
Oh!
Listen.

Oh!
Listen.
We need to get an exorcist in

Listen.
We need to get an exorcist in
here, and this time I'm serious,

We need to get an exorcist in
here, and this time I'm serious,
okay?

Here, and this time I'm serious,
okay?
It is true.

Okay?
It is true.
So how are you?

It is true.
So how are you?
Well, I got some new buttons.

Hey, vilan.

Hey, vilan.
Hey.

Hey, vilan.
Hey.
They d*ed beautiful.

Hey.
They d*ed beautiful.
Nasty.

They d*ed beautiful.
Nasty.
They'll look good...

Nasty.
They'll look good...
In some room.

They'll look good...
In some room.
Hey, guy.

In some room.
Hey, guy.
I made your favorite --

Hey, guy.
I made your favorite --
vegetarian chili.

I made your favorite --
vegetarian chili.
Great.

Vegetarian chili.
Great.
Better pass the salt, then.

Great.
Better pass the salt, then.
Well, vilan, before you do,

Better pass the salt, then.
Well, vilan, before you do,
why don't we make the light a

Well, vilan, before you do,
why don't we make the light a
little bit more conducive to

Why don't we make the light a
little bit more conducive to
dining?

Little bit more conducive to
dining?
Far out.

And because you were sneezing

And because you were sneezing
at the time of the m*rder, I

And because you were sneezing
at the time of the m*rder, I
find you not guilty.

At the time of the m*rder, I
find you not guilty.
Next case.

Find you not guilty.
Next case.
Let's see.

Next case.
Let's see.
The defendant,

Let's see.
The defendant,
mr. Joseph underwood, is accused

The defendant,
mr. Joseph underwood, is accused
of sexual harassment by the

Mr. Joseph underwood, is accused
of sexual harassment by the
plaintiff, one

Of sexual harassment by the
plaintiff, one
mr. Joseph underwood.

Plaintiff, one
mr. Joseph underwood.
How does the defense plead?

Mr. Joseph underwood.
How does the defense plead?
Not guilty, your honor.

How does the defense plead?
Not guilty, your honor.
Prosecution may proceed.

Not guilty, your honor.
Prosecution may proceed.
Thank you, your honor.

Prosecution may proceed.
Thank you, your honor.
I'd like to call the plaintiff

Thank you, your honor.
I'd like to call the plaintiff
to the stand,

I'd like to call the plaintiff
to the stand,
mr. Joseph underwood.

To the stand,
mr. Joseph underwood.
Mr. Underwood, could you please

Mr. Joseph underwood.
Mr. Underwood, could you please
tell us the events that led to

Mr. Underwood, could you please
tell us the events that led to
you bringing these charges

Tell us the events that led to
you bringing these charges
against yourself,

You bringing these charges
against yourself,
mr. Underwood?

Against yourself,
mr. Underwood?
Well, you know, it started

Mr. Underwood?
Well, you know, it started
off innocently enough --

Well, you know, it started
off innocently enough --
flattery.

Off innocently enough --
flattery.
I would compliment the jacket I

Flattery.
I would compliment the jacket I
was wearing, or say "nice

I would compliment the jacket I
was wearing, or say "nice
cologne" to myself.

Was wearing, or say "nice
cologne" to myself.
But soon after that I'd be at

Cologne" to myself.
But soon after that I'd be at
the water cooler, and, uh, I

But soon after that I'd be at
the water cooler, and, uh, I
would start to play with my

The water cooler, and, uh, I
would start to play with my
hair.

Would start to play with my
hair.
Oh, I'd try to laugh it off,

Hair.
Oh, I'd try to laugh it off,
pretend that nothing was

Oh, I'd try to laugh it off,
pretend that nothing was
happening, but that seemed only

Pretend that nothing was
happening, but that seemed only
to encourage me.

Happening, but that seemed only
to encourage me.
Did it end there?

To encourage me.
Did it end there?
No, sweet jesus, I wish it

Did it end there?
No, sweet jesus, I wish it
did.

No, sweet jesus, I wish it
did.
I would, uh, rub against myself

Did.
I would, uh, rub against myself
on elevators, stare down my top

I would, uh, rub against myself
on elevators, stare down my top
using a mirror, and always,

On elevators, stare down my top
using a mirror, and always,
always the suggestive comments.

Using a mirror, and always,
always the suggestive comments.
Then one day, I was in the

Always the suggestive comments.
Then one day, I was in the
washroom and -- to my horror --

Then one day, I was in the
washroom and -- to my horror --
I found that I was fondling

Washroom and -- to my horror --
I found that I was fondling
myself.

I found that I was fondling
myself.
Thank you, mr. Underwood.

Myself.
Thank you, mr. Underwood.
I'm aware of how difficult this

Thank you, mr. Underwood.
I'm aware of how difficult this
must have been for you.

I'm aware of how difficult this
must have been for you.
I have no more questions, your

Must have been for you.
I have no more questions, your
honor.

I have no more questions, your
honor.
The witness may step down.

Honor.
The witness may step down.
Thank you.

The witness may step down.
Thank you.
Your honor, I would now like

Thank you.
Your honor, I would now like
to call the defendant,

Your honor, I would now like
to call the defendant,
mr. Joseph underwood, to the

To call the defendant,
mr. Joseph underwood, to the
stand.

Mr. Joseph underwood, to the
stand.
Yes, sir.

Stand.
Yes, sir.
Mr. Underwood, how do you

Yes, sir.
Mr. Underwood, how do you
respond to these allegations?

Mr. Underwood, how do you
respond to these allegations?
Your honor, I don't believe I

Respond to these allegations?
Your honor, I don't believe I
did anything that I myself did

Your honor, I don't believe I
did anything that I myself did
not want me to do.

Did anything that I myself did
not want me to do.
I was asking for it.

Not want me to do.
I was asking for it.
I always came to work dressed to

I was asking for it.
I always came to work dressed to
the nines.

I always came to work dressed to
the nines.
I always had my first two

The nines.
I always had my first two
buttons undone on my shirt, like

I always had my first two
buttons undone on my shirt, like
I do now.

Buttons undone on my shirt, like
I do now.
And never once did I say

I do now.
And never once did I say
anything to discourage me.

And never once did I say
anything to discourage me.
You see, I'm a physical guy --

Anything to discourage me.
You see, I'm a physical guy --
very friendly, affectionate,

You see, I'm a physical guy --
very friendly, affectionate,
and, uh, no one's ever had a

Very friendly, affectionate,
and, uh, no one's ever had a
problem with that before.

And, uh, no one's ever had a
problem with that before.
Besides, your honor, I believe

Problem with that before.
Besides, your honor, I believe
in that famous saying by the

Besides, your honor, I believe
in that famous saying by the
beatles, "all you need is love,"

In that famous saying by the
beatles, "all you need is love,"
although I don't much like their

Beatles, "all you need is love,"
although I don't much like their
music.

Although I don't much like their
music.
Mr. Underwood, when I come

Music.
Mr. Underwood, when I come
across men like you, I can

Mr. Underwood, when I come
across men like you, I can
barely contain the vomit that is

Across men like you, I can
barely contain the vomit that is
rising in my throat.

Barely contain the vomit that is
rising in my throat.
Uh-huh.

Rising in my throat.
Uh-huh.
I see no other alternative

Uh-huh.
I see no other alternative
other than to issue a

I see no other alternative
other than to issue a
restraining order, which means

Other than to issue a
restraining order, which means
that mr. Underwood cannot come

Restraining order, which means
that mr. Underwood cannot come
within feet of himself.

That mr. Underwood cannot come
within feet of himself.
Case dismissed.

Within feet of himself.
Case dismissed.
Thank you, your honor.

Case dismissed.
Thank you, your honor.
Thank you, thank you.

Thank you, your honor.
Thank you, thank you.
Your honor, I'm at it again!

Thank you, thank you.
Your honor, I'm at it again!
Arrest this man!

Your honor, I'm at it again!
Arrest this man!
I'm at it again, your

Arrest this man!
I'm at it again, your
honor!

I'm at it again, your
honor!
Your honor!

Honor!
Your honor!
I want me!

Your honor!
I want me!
I hate me!

I want me!
I hate me!
I want me!

I hate me!
I want me!
I hate me!

I want me!
I hate me!
I want me!

Thanks for the sex.

Thanks for the sex.
Hey, got to do the right

Thanks for the sex.
Hey, got to do the right
thing.

Hey, got to do the right
thing.
I think I hear your wife.

Thing.
I think I hear your wife.
Don't worry about it.

I think I hear your wife.
Don't worry about it.
She's cool.

Don't worry about it.
She's cool.
Hi.

She's cool.
Hi.
Oh, hi, vilan.

Hi.
Oh, hi, vilan.
Hey, is this your new lover?

Oh, hi, vilan.
Hey, is this your new lover?
Yeah.

Hey, is this your new lover?
Yeah.
Groovy.

Yeah.
Groovy.
Oh, hey, tony.

Groovy.
Oh, hey, tony.
Hi, tony.

Oh, hey, tony.
Hi, tony.
We're gonna use the couch for

Hi, tony.
We're gonna use the couch for
a while.

We're gonna use the couch for
a while.
Is that cool?

A while.
Is that cool?
Yeah, super cool.

Is that cool?
Yeah, super cool.
Hey.

Yeah, super cool.
Hey.
We're outta here.

[ Blues music plays ]

[ Blues music plays ]
bawk, bawk, bawk!

[ Blues music plays ]
bawk, bawk, bawk!
Bawk, bawk, bawk!

Bawk, bawk, bawk!
Bawk, bawk, bawk!
Hey!

Bawk, bawk, bawk!
Hey!
Chicken, eh?!

Hey!
Chicken, eh?!
Bawk, bawk!

Chicken, eh?!
Bawk, bawk!
Full of chicken, eh?

Bawk, bawk!
Full of chicken, eh?
Bawk, bawk!

Full of chicken, eh?
Bawk, bawk!
Bawk, bawk, bawk!

Bawk, bawk!
Bawk, bawk, bawk!
Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk!

Bawk, bawk, bawk!
Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk!
Eh?

Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk!
Eh?
Bawk, bawk, bawk!

Eh?
Bawk, bawk, bawk!
Respectfully, I'm gonna ask

Bawk, bawk, bawk!
Respectfully, I'm gonna ask
you to please be quiet.

Respectfully, I'm gonna ask
you to please be quiet.
Then I guess we'd better step

You to please be quiet.
Then I guess we'd better step
outside, huh?

Easy.

Get him!

You're looking lean and mean.

You're looking lean and mean.
Whoo!

You're looking lean and mean.
Whoo!
Whoo!

Whoo!
Whoo!
So, are you ready?

Whoo!
So, are you ready?
I guess I'm ready.

So, are you ready?
I guess I'm ready.
Are you ready?

I guess I'm ready.
Are you ready?
Ha!

Are you ready?
Ha!
I'm ready, willing, and able!

Ha!
I'm ready, willing, and able!
Yeah!

I'm ready, willing, and able!
Yeah!
Come on!

Come on, come on!

Come on, come on!
Go, go, go!

Come on, come on!
Go, go, go!
You still ready?!

Go, go, go!
You still ready?!
I'm ready.

You still ready?!
I'm ready.
Yeah?

I'm ready.
Yeah?
Here's my plan!

Yeah?
Here's my plan!
First, I'm going to kick your

Here's my plan!
First, I'm going to kick your
ass.

First, I'm going to kick your
ass.
Then, I'm gonna kick the ass of

Ass.
Then, I'm gonna kick the ass of
your friends in alphabetical

Then, I'm gonna kick the ass of
your friends in alphabetical
order!

Your friends in alphabetical
order!
So he's gonna need some

Order!
So he's gonna need some
names!

So he's gonna need some
names!
[ Roars ]

Names!
[ Roars ]
ooh!

[ Roars ]
ooh!
He's tougher than he looks.

Ooh!
He's tougher than he looks.
God, sugarplum, you're hurt!

He's tougher than he looks.
God, sugarplum, you're hurt!
Oh!

God, sugarplum, you're hurt!
Oh!
Hey!

Oh!
Hey!
You were supposed to meet me

Hey!
You were supposed to meet me
minutes ago at that sub shop.

You were supposed to meet me
minutes ago at that sub shop.
Where were you?!

Minutes ago at that sub shop.
Where were you?!
Not now!

Where were you?!
Not now!
Baby, it's business!

Not now!
Baby, it's business!
[ Crowd cheers ]

Baby, it's business!
[ Crowd cheers ]
I'm out of tricks.

[ Crowd cheers ]
I'm out of tricks.
Look at them scramble.

I'm out of tricks.
Look at them scramble.
Hey!

Look at them scramble.
Hey!
Where do you think you're going?

Hey!
Where do you think you're going?
Exterminate with extreme

Where do you think you're going?
Exterminate with extreme
prejudice.

Exterminate with extreme
prejudice.
[ Screams ]

Yeah.

Yeah.
[ Screams ]

Yeah.
[ Screams ]
what the f*ck are you doing,

[ Screams ]
what the f*ck are you doing,
eh?

What the f*ck are you doing,
eh?
Stay down!

Eh?
Stay down!
I ain't done with you yet.

Stay down!
I ain't done with you yet.
And remember, you guys are next!

I ain't done with you yet.
And remember, you guys are next!
[ Screams ]

Stay down!

Stay down!
Yeah, stay down!

Stay down!
Yeah, stay down!
Stay down!

Yeah, stay down!
Stay down!
[ Screams weakly ]

Stay down!
[ Screams weakly ]
put him down, you freak!

[ Screams weakly ]
put him down, you freak!
Look out, look out!

Put him down, you freak!
Look out, look out!
Look, baby!

Look out, look out!
Look, baby!
I found you some neocitrin!

Look, baby!
I found you some neocitrin!
God, always the provider.

I found you some neocitrin!
God, always the provider.
No.

God, always the provider.
No.
I figured out the problem.

No.
I figured out the problem.
It's my belt.

I figured out the problem.
It's my belt.
Trust him.

It's my belt.
Trust him.
That's better.

Yoo-hoo!

Yoo-hoo!
Hello, loyal subject.

Yoo-hoo!
Hello, loyal subject.
We strongly recommend you stay

Hello, loyal subject.
We strongly recommend you stay
down.

We strongly recommend you stay
down.
No!

Down.
No!
Stay down!

No!
Stay down!
Stay down!

Stay down!
Stay down!
[ Screams weakly ]

Ooohhh!

Ooohhh!
[ Laughs ]

Ooohhh!
[ Laughs ]
[ thud ]

[ Laughs ]
[ thud ]
[ screams ]

[ Thud ]
[ screams ]
ugh!

Outside.

Outside.
All right.

Outside.
All right.
He won the battle, not the

All right.
He won the battle, not the
w*r.

He won the battle, not the
w*r.
Somebody there?

w*r.
Somebody there?
Right beside you, buddy!

Let's go kick his ass!
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