Hey.
Hey.
What do you make of this?
Hey.
What do you make of this?
It's a potato.
What do you make of this?
It's a potato.
Yeah, I know it's a potato,
It's a potato.
Yeah, I know it's a potato,
but I found it on the asphalt
Yeah, I know it's a potato,
but I found it on the asphalt
here.
But I found it on the asphalt
here.
Why would anyone abandon a
Here.
Why would anyone abandon a
perfectly good potato?
Why would anyone abandon a
perfectly good potato?
I don't know.
Perfectly good potato?
I don't know.
Attention, all units, a lone
I don't know.
Attention, all units, a lone
potato has been reported at
Attention, all units, a lone
potato has been reported at
young and st. Joseph.
Potato has been reported at
young and st. Joseph.
All nearby units respond.
Young and st. Joseph.
All nearby units respond.
Man, this town just keeps
All nearby units respond.
Man, this town just keeps
getting sicker and sicker.
Man, this town just keeps
getting sicker and sicker.
Yeah, I know.
Getting sicker and sicker.
Yeah, I know.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Kirstie.
Kirstie.
Shelley.
Kirstie.
Shelley.
Kirstie.
Shelley.
Kirstie.
Shelley.
Kirstie.
Shelley.
Kirstie alley has
Shelley.
Kirstie alley has
single-handedly pulled "cheers"
Kirstie alley has
single-handedly pulled "cheers"
out of the doldrums.
Single-handedly pulled "cheers"
out of the doldrums.
You are so wrong, it's
Out of the doldrums.
You are so wrong, it's
pathetic, my friend.
You are so wrong, it's
pathetic, my friend.
All the characters laughs.
Pathetic, my friend.
All the characters laughs.
I don't laugh at kirstie.
All the characters laughs.
I don't laugh at kirstie.
I laugh at shelley.
I don't laugh at kirstie.
I laugh at shelley.
Kirstie.
I laugh at shelley.
Kirstie.
Shelley.
Kirstie.
Shelley.
You know, I always thought
Shelley.
You know, I always thought
geena davis would've been a
You know, I always thought
geena davis would've been a
better replacement.
Geena davis would've been a
better replacement.
She was great in "the fly."
Better replacement.
She was great in "the fly."
I never saw "the fly."
She was great in "the fly."
I never saw "the fly."
You never saw "the fly"?
I never saw "the fly."
You never saw "the fly"?
I never saw "the fly."
You never saw "the fly"?
I never saw "the fly."
"The fly" was great.
I never saw "the fly."
"The fly" was great.
Well, I never saw "the fly."
"The fly" was great.
Well, I never saw "the fly."
Did you see "the fly"?
Well, I never saw "the fly."
Did you see "the fly"?
Of course I saw "the fly."
Did you see "the fly"?
Of course I saw "the fly."
I never saw "the fly."
Of course I saw "the fly."
I never saw "the fly."
He saw "the fly."
I never saw "the fly."
He saw "the fly."
Well, I never saw "the fly."
He saw "the fly."
Well, I never saw "the fly."
Everyone saw "the fly."
Well, I never saw "the fly."
Everyone saw "the fly."
No, I never saw "the fly."
Everyone saw "the fly."
No, I never saw "the fly."
My parents saw "the fly."
No, I never saw "the fly."
My parents saw "the fly."
I never saw "the fly."
My parents saw "the fly."
I never saw "the fly."
My children saw "the fly."
I never saw "the fly."
My children saw "the fly."
Shut up.
My children saw "the fly."
Shut up.
I never saw "the fly."
Shut up.
I never saw "the fly."
My cousin saw "the fly."
I never saw "the fly."
My cousin saw "the fly."
Shut up.
My cousin saw "the fly."
Shut up.
I never saw "the fly."
Shut up.
I never saw "the fly."
My brother-in-law saw
I never saw "the fly."
My brother-in-law saw
"the fly."
My brother-in-law saw
"the fly."
Shut up.
"The fly."
Shut up.
I never saw "the fly."
Shut up.
I never saw "the fly."
My chiropractor saw
I never saw "the fly."
My chiropractor saw
"the fly."
My chiropractor saw
"the fly."
Shut up.
"The fly."
Shut up.
Attention! Attention!
Shut up.
Attention! Attention!
This is dr. Piranha.
Attention! Attention!
This is dr. Piranha.
All right, dark forces, I want
This is dr. Piranha.
All right, dark forces, I want
you to surround the superheroes'
All right, dark forces, I want
you to surround the superheroes'
lair quietly!
You to surround the superheroes'
lair quietly!
Don't forget, this is a surprise
Lair quietly!
Don't forget, this is a surprise
att*ck, so, everyone, please be
Don't forget, this is a surprise
att*ck, so, everyone, please be
quiet!
att*ck, so, everyone, please be
quiet!
Remember, this is a surprise
Quiet!
Remember, this is a surprise
att*ck.
Remember, this is a surprise
att*ck.
[ Doorbell rings ]
att*ck.
[ Doorbell rings ]
here's a scene from next
[ Doorbell rings ]
here's a scene from next
week's exciting episode.
Here's a scene from next
week's exciting episode.
You know, wings, orson welles
Week's exciting episode.
You know, wings, orson welles
was married to
You know, wings, orson welles
was married to
olivia de havilland.
Was married to
olivia de havilland.
Orson welles was married to
Olivia de havilland.
Orson welles was married to
lana turner.
Orson welles was married to
lana turner.
Olivia de havilland.
Lana turner.
Olivia de havilland.
Lana turner.
Olivia de havilland.
Lana turner.
Shut up.
Lana turner.
Shut up.
Olivia de havilland.
Shut up.
Olivia de havilland.
Lana turner.
Olivia de havilland.
Lana turner.
It's "lona," not "lana," and
Lana turner.
It's "lona," not "lana," and
shut up.
It's "lona," not "lana," and
shut up.
Join us next week for more
Shut up.
Join us next week for more
adventures of captain wonderful
Join us next week for more
adventures of captain wonderful
and the winged avenger!
Adventures of captain wonderful
and the winged avenger!
Shut up!
There, I now have the
There, I now have the
cleanest kitchen counter in the
There, I now have the
cleanest kitchen counter in the
world.
Cleanest kitchen counter in the
world.
Come on, you can ring.
[ Dial tone ]
Ring, ring, ring, ring.
Ring, ring, ring, ring.
Come on, ring.
Ring, ring, ring, ring.
Come on, ring.
[ Telephone rings ]
Come on, ring.
[ Telephone rings ]
she phoned me first.
[ Telephone rings ]
she phoned me first.
I win. I win. I win!
She phoned me first.
I win. I win. I win!
[ Breathing heavily ]
I win. I win. I win!
[ Breathing heavily ]
[ telephone ringing stops ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
[ telephone ringing stops ]
I can't believe I didn't pick it
[ Telephone ringing stops ]
I can't believe I didn't pick it
up when I had the chance.
I can't believe I didn't pick it
up when I had the chance.
What were you thinking?
Up when I had the chance.
What were you thinking?
I could be talking to her right
What were you thinking?
I could be talking to her right
now.
I could be talking to her right
now.
You're so stupid.
Now.
You're so stupid.
You're so stupid.
You're so stupid.
You're so stupid.
You're so stupid.
You're so stupid.
You're so stupid.
[ Telephone rings ]
You're so stupid.
[ Telephone rings ]
yes!
[ Telephone rings ]
yes!
[ Dial tone ]
Yes!
[ Dial tone ]
one ring.
[ Dial tone ]
one ring.
She knows I'm here.
One ring.
She knows I'm here.
Okay, stay calm.
She knows I'm here.
Okay, stay calm.
Bend, don't break.
Okay, stay calm.
Bend, don't break.
Don't call her.
Bend, don't break.
Don't call her.
Don't call her.
Don't call her.
Don't call her.
Don't call her.
Don't call her.
Don't call her.
Don't call her.
Don't call her.
Don't call her.
Don't, don't.
Don't call her.
Don't, don't.
Don't.
Don't, don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
It's ringing.
Don't.
It's ringing.
[ Receiver picks up ]
I can't believe she answered the
I can't believe she answered the
phone.
I can't believe she answered the
phone.
She'll know it was me.
Phone.
She'll know it was me.
No, she won't know it was me.
She'll know it was me.
No, she won't know it was me.
Come on, we both know it was me.
No, she won't know it was me.
Come on, we both know it was me.
Okay, I'll just call her back.
Come on, we both know it was me.
Okay, I'll just call her back.
I'll call her back and say,
Okay, I'll just call her back.
I'll call her back and say,
"yes, it was me, but I hung up
I'll call her back and say,
"yes, it was me, but I hung up
because, because...
"Yes, it was me, but I hung up
because, because...
Something was burning.
Because, because...
Something was burning.
Some food I was cooking was" --
Something was burning.
Some food I was cooking was" --
no.
Some food I was cooking was" --
no.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
Don't.
Yes.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
[ Busy signal ]
Don't.
[ Busy signal ]
busy.
[ Busy signal ]
busy.
Who's she talking to?
Busy.
Who's she talking to?
Who could he be talking to?
Who's she talking to?
Who could he be talking to?
Don't call him.
Who could he be talking to?
Don't call him.
Don't call again.
Don't call him.
Don't call again.
Don't call him.
Don't call again.
Don't call him.
Don't.
Don't call him.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Hey, jim.
Don't.
Hey, jim.
It's me, man.
Hey, jim.
It's me, man.
Why aren't you at the party?
It's me, man.
Why aren't you at the party?
I got to go.
Why aren't you at the party?
I got to go.
Don't.
I got to go.
Don't.
Get off the phone, brad.
Don't.
Get off the phone, brad.
This is serious.
Get off the phone, brad.
This is serious.
Hello?
This is serious.
Hello?
Oh, hello.
Hello?
Oh, hello.
Jim?
Oh, hello.
Jim?
Lorraine?
Jim?
Lorraine?
Hi.
Lorraine?
Hi.
Oh, hi.
Hi.
Oh, hi.
So, do you want to get together?
Oh, hi.
So, do you want to get together?
Sure. When?
So, do you want to get together?
Sure. When?
Oh, I don't know.
Sure. When?
Oh, I don't know.
Anytime, really.
Oh, I don't know.
Anytime, really.
How about minutes?
Anytime, really.
How about minutes?
At swiss chalet?
How about minutes?
At swiss chalet?
Sure, swiss chalet it is.
At swiss chalet?
Sure, swiss chalet it is.
I'll --
Sure, swiss chalet it is.
I'll --
b-bye.
I'll --
b-bye.
Bye.
B-bye.
Bye.
Don't go.
Bye.
Don't go.
Don't go.
Don't go.
Don't go.
Okay, if you go at all, be three
Don't go.
Okay, if you go at all, be three
hours late.
Okay, if you go at all, be three
hours late.
Don't go.
Hours late.
Don't go.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Partner, what you thinking?
Partner, what you thinking?
I'm thinking about those, uh,
Partner, what you thinking?
I'm thinking about those, uh,
cable cords that run out of the
I'm thinking about those, uh,
cable cords that run out of the
wall and go into the back of the
Cable cords that run out of the
wall and go into the back of the
unit.
Wall and go into the back of the
unit.
[ Sighs ]
Unit.
[ Sighs ]
come on, man, let it go.
[ Sighs ]
come on, man, let it go.
This kind of stuff will eat you
Come on, man, let it go.
This kind of stuff will eat you
up.
This kind of stuff will eat you
up.
Attention, all units, we've
Up.
Attention, all units, we've
had a break-in at the police
Attention, all units, we've
had a break-in at the police
lockup.
Had a break-in at the police
lockup.
Be on the lookout for six
Lockup.
Be on the lookout for six
medium-sized potatoes.
Be on the lookout for six
medium-sized potatoes.
[ Sighs ] wow.
Medium-sized potatoes.
[ Sighs ] wow.
You know, some nights I
[ Sighs ] wow.
You know, some nights I
wonder that we make it home at
You know, some nights I
wonder that we make it home at
all.
Wonder that we make it home at
all.
I know what you mean.
All.
I know what you mean.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Good evening.
Good evening.
Have you ever gazed upon
Good evening.
Have you ever gazed upon
elegance personified?
Have you ever gazed upon
elegance personified?
Well, look again.
Elegance personified?
Well, look again.
Do you remember when you were
Well, look again.
Do you remember when you were
little and your parents and
Do you remember when you were
little and your parents and
brothers and sisters went out
Little and your parents and
brothers and sisters went out
and they left you at the house
Brothers and sisters went out
and they left you at the house
all to yourself?
And they left you at the house
all to yourself?
Well, what did you do?
All to yourself?
Well, what did you do?
Searched through your parents'
Well, what did you do?
Searched through your parents'
bedroom for "playboys"?
Searched through your parents'
bedroom for "playboys"?
Sniffed glue in dad's workshop?
Bedroom for "playboys"?
Sniffed glue in dad's workshop?
Or did you dress up like a
Sniffed glue in dad's workshop?
Or did you dress up like a
beautiful lady?
Or did you dress up like a
beautiful lady?
Well, if you did, you're
Beautiful lady?
Well, if you did, you're
probably a girl or a gay boy.
Well, if you did, you're
probably a girl or a gay boy.
This is a gay home-alone outfit.
Probably a girl or a gay boy.
This is a gay home-alone outfit.
It's a simple ensemble, classic,
This is a gay home-alone outfit.
It's a simple ensemble, classic,
really, like a black chenille
It's a simple ensemble, classic,
really, like a black chenille
dress.
Really, like a black chenille
dress.
First of all, what you need is a
Dress.
First of all, what you need is a
common bath towel, yellow
First of all, what you need is a
common bath towel, yellow
preferably, which you knot up on
Common bath towel, yellow
preferably, which you knot up on
top of your head for the
Preferably, which you knot up on
top of your head for the
illusion of long, girly, blond
Top of your head for the
illusion of long, girly, blond
hair.
Illusion of long, girly, blond
hair.
Next, a brightly colored towel
Hair.
Next, a brightly colored towel
for your dorothy lamour,
Next, a brightly colored towel
for your dorothy lamour,
betty rubble sarong.
For your dorothy lamour,
betty rubble sarong.
Next a sheet from the bed, which
Betty rubble sarong.
Next a sheet from the bed, which
you use to create your ermine
Next a sheet from the bed, which
you use to create your ermine
cape fit for a queen.
You use to create your ermine
cape fit for a queen.
And finally...
Cape fit for a queen.
And finally...
No beautiful lady is complete
And finally...
No beautiful lady is complete
without her high heels.
No beautiful lady is complete
without her high heels.
♪ Go on and do it ♪
Without her high heels.
♪ Go on and do it ♪
♪ do it ♪
♪ Go on and do it ♪
♪ do it ♪
♪ do it till you're satisfied ♪
♪ Do it ♪
♪ do it till you're satisfied ♪
♪ whatever it is ♪
♪ Do it till you're satisfied ♪
♪ whatever it is ♪
♪ do it ♪
♪ Whatever it is ♪
♪ do it ♪
♪ do it till you're satisfied ♪
♪ Do it ♪
♪ do it till you're satisfied ♪
♪ go on and do it ♪
♪ Do it till you're satisfied ♪
♪ go on and do it ♪
oh, would you look at this,
♪ Go on and do it ♪
oh, would you look at this,
what the butler has prepared?
Oh, would you look at this,
what the butler has prepared?
A beautiful little party feast.
What the butler has prepared?
A beautiful little party feast.
Oh.
A beautiful little party feast.
Oh.
Wow.
Oh.
Wow.
This is just wonderful.
Wow.
This is just wonderful.
I'm gonna throw myself a party
This is just wonderful.
I'm gonna throw myself a party
for all my bestest friends.
I'm gonna throw myself a party
for all my bestest friends.
Let me see, it's .
For all my bestest friends.
Let me see, it's .
Who should I invite?
Let me see, it's .
Who should I invite?
Oh, simple.
Who should I invite?
Oh, simple.
Phyllis, maude, rhoda, and
Oh, simple.
Phyllis, maude, rhoda, and
horshack.
Phyllis, maude, rhoda, and
horshack.
[ Doorbell rings ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ]
they're here.
I mean, what kind of party
I mean, what kind of party
only has rye bread?
I mean, what kind of party
only has rye bread?
There's dark rye bread, light
Only has rye bread?
There's dark rye bread, light
rye bread.
There's dark rye bread, light
rye bread.
Pumpernickel is rye.
Rye bread.
Pumpernickel is rye.
Tom, excuse me.
Pumpernickel is rye.
Tom, excuse me.
Tom, I want you to meet a client
Tom, excuse me.
Tom, I want you to meet a client
of ours from the east coast.
Tom, I want you to meet a client
of ours from the east coast.
Tom, this is leonard frost.
Of ours from the east coast.
Tom, this is leonard frost.
Hi, leonard.
Tom, this is leonard frost.
Hi, leonard.
Pleased to meet you.
Hi, leonard.
Pleased to meet you.
Pleasure's all mine.
Pleased to meet you.
Pleasure's all mine.
Heard a lot about you, tom.
Pleasure's all mine.
Heard a lot about you, tom.
Hopefully all good.
Heard a lot about you, tom.
Hopefully all good.
[ All laugh ]
Hopefully all good.
[ All laugh ]
I knew you guys were gonna
[ All laugh ]
I knew you guys were gonna
hit it off.
I knew you guys were gonna
hit it off.
Oh, tom, let me freshen that up
Hit it off.
Oh, tom, let me freshen that up
for you.
Oh, tom, let me freshen that up
for you.
By the way, leonard's into
For you.
By the way, leonard's into
cross-country skiing, as well.
By the way, leonard's into
cross-country skiing, as well.
Oh.
Cross-country skiing, as well.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
So, you're into cross-country
Yeah.
So, you're into cross-country
skiing, too, huh?
So, you're into cross-country
skiing, too, huh?
I haven't done much skiing this
Skiing, too, huh?
I haven't done much skiing this
winter, but any chance I get,
I haven't done much skiing this
winter, but any chance I get,
I'm out there.
Winter, but any chance I get,
I'm out there.
So, where do you normally ski?
I'm out there.
So, where do you normally ski?
So, how are you guys getting
So, where do you normally ski?
So, how are you guys getting
along?
So, how are you guys getting
along?
Great.
Along?
Great.
Tom here just opened up --
Great.
Tom here just opened up --
told me he was a virgin until he
Tom here just opened up --
told me he was a virgin until he
was .
Told me he was a virgin until he
was .
Wow.
Was .
Wow.
I got to go think.
Wow.
I got to go think.
But --
I got to go think.
But --
well, why did you tell him I
But --
well, why did you tell him I
said that?
Well, why did you tell him I
said that?
I never said that.
Said that?
I never said that.
What the hell is wrong with you?
I never said that.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Tom, I've had some time to
What the hell is wrong with you?
Tom, I've had some time to
think, and I want you to know
Tom, I've had some time to
think, and I want you to know
you're okay with me.
Think, and I want you to know
you're okay with me.
Oh, then you'll be pleased to
You're okay with me.
Oh, then you'll be pleased to
know tom just opened up and told
Oh, then you'll be pleased to
know tom just opened up and told
me that he's a bed wetter.
Know tom just opened up and told
me that he's a bed wetter.
But that's not true.
Me that he's a bed wetter.
But that's not true.
I never said that.
But that's not true.
I never said that.
Excuse me, everyone, I'd like
I never said that.
Excuse me, everyone, I'd like
to make an announcement.
Excuse me, everyone, I'd like
to make an announcement.
Tom here just opened up to me
To make an announcement.
Tom here just opened up to me
and told me that he's a bed
Tom here just opened up to me
and told me that he's a bed
wetter.
And told me that he's a bed
wetter.
Ohhhh.
Wetter.
Ohhhh.
I know.
Ohhhh.
I know.
But I've had some time to think,
I know.
But I've had some time to think,
and I've decided that we should
But I've had some time to think,
and I've decided that we should
give him our love and support.
And I've decided that we should
give him our love and support.
Come on, give it up.
Give him our love and support.
Come on, give it up.
I'm a bed wetter, too.
Come on, give it up.
I'm a bed wetter, too.
So am i.
I'm a bed wetter, too.
So am i.
Me too.
So am i.
Me too.
Me too.
Me too.
Me too.
Wow, I guess it's true what
Me too.
Wow, I guess it's true what
they say -- the whole sales
Wow, I guess it's true what
they say -- the whole sales
department are bed wetters.
They say -- the whole sales
department are bed wetters.
Thanks for helping them admit
Department are bed wetters.
Thanks for helping them admit
it, tom.
Thanks for helping them admit
it, tom.
Well, I -- thanks.
It, tom.
Well, I -- thanks.
Oh, and tom's a member of a
Well, I -- thanks.
Oh, and tom's a member of a
satanic cult and has
Oh, and tom's a member of a
satanic cult and has
participated in human
Satanic cult and has
participated in human
sacrifices.
Participated in human
sacrifices.
What?!
Sacrifices.
What?!
Well, you know all the guys
What?!
Well, you know all the guys
upstairs are into satanism, as
Well, you know all the guys
upstairs are into satanism, as
well, don't you, tom?
Upstairs are into satanism, as
well, don't you, tom?
Oh, my...god.
Well, don't you, tom?
Oh, my...god.
Tom, why don't you join us at
Oh, my...god.
Tom, why don't you join us at
the country club this weekend?
Tom, why don't you join us at
the country club this weekend?
The country club?
The country club this weekend?
The country club?
Yeah, we're gonna play a
The country club?
Yeah, we're gonna play a
quick nine holes of golf, and
Yeah, we're gonna play a
quick nine holes of golf, and
then we're gonna sacrifice
Quick nine holes of golf, and
then we're gonna sacrifice
jenkins.
Then we're gonna sacrifice
jenkins.
You know, I think you're on your
Jenkins.
You know, I think you're on your
way up, tom.
You know, I think you're on your
way up, tom.
Look, I got to admit -- at
Way up, tom.
Look, I got to admit -- at
first, I didn't know what you
Look, I got to admit -- at
first, I didn't know what you
were up to, but I guess I should
First, I didn't know what you
were up to, but I guess I should
thank you.
Were up to, but I guess I should
thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Ohh!
Thank you.
Ohh!
Why did he hit me in the --
Ohh!
Why did he hit me in the --
hey, bucks.
Why did he hit me in the --
hey, bucks.
Strange guy, but I like him.
Hey, bucks.
Strange guy, but I like him.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Oh.
Oh.
Mmm.
Oh.
Mmm.
Oh.
Mmm.
Oh.
Ahh.
Oh.
Ahh.
Ahh.
Ahh.
Ahh.
Mmm.
Ahh.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Ahh.
Ahh.
Ahh.
Oh.
Oh.
I don't want you to smell my
Oh.
I don't want you to smell my
after-sex breath.
I don't want you to smell my
after-sex breath.
Me either.
After-sex breath.
Me either.
So I'm gonna go brush my
Me either.
So I'm gonna go brush my
teeth.
So I'm gonna go brush my
teeth.
Good idea.
Teeth.
Good idea.
Okay.
Gee, that was great.
Gee, that was great.
Yeah, it can be difficult the
Gee, that was great.
Yeah, it can be difficult the
first time.
Yeah, it can be difficult the
first time.
Yeah.
First time.
Yeah.
Not as difficult as the ,th
Yeah.
Not as difficult as the ,th
time.
Not as difficult as the ,th
time.
[ Laughs ]
Time.
[ Laughs ]
personally, I like the th
[ Laughs ]
personally, I like the th
time.
Personally, I like the th
time.
[ Laughing ]
Time.
[ Laughing ]
I'm not sure why I'm laughing.
[ Laughing ]
I'm not sure why I'm laughing.
Hey, um, I know you didn't
I'm not sure why I'm laughing.
Hey, um, I know you didn't
bring your toothbrush.
Hey, um, I know you didn't
bring your toothbrush.
You can use mine if you want.
Bring your toothbrush.
You can use mine if you want.
Use another person's
You can use mine if you want.
Use another person's
toothbrush -- that's so gross.
Use another person's
toothbrush -- that's so gross.
Uh, no, thank you, baby.
Ew.
Ew.
[ Sniffing ]
Ugh, no.
Hey, I don't know about you,
Hey, I don't know about you,
but, um, I'm still kind of
Hey, I don't know about you,
but, um, I'm still kind of
hungry.
But, um, I'm still kind of
hungry.
What are you doing with my
What are you doing with my
comb?
Oh, I was gonna comb my hair.
Comb?
Oh, I was gonna comb my hair.
You mean you're gonna drag it
Oh, I was gonna comb my hair.
You mean you're gonna drag it
across your scalp and then give
You mean you're gonna drag it
across your scalp and then give
it back to me?
Across your scalp and then give
it back to me?
Yeah, I guess.
It back to me?
Yeah, I guess.
Well, why don't you just keep
Yeah, I guess.
Well, why don't you just keep
it, then?
Well, why don't you just keep
it, then?
As a personal gift, baby.
It, then?
As a personal gift, baby.
Great.
As a personal gift, baby.
Great.
Great.
Great.
Great.
Thanks.
Great.
Thanks.
Oh, good christ.
Thanks.
Oh, good christ.
It's got her teeth marks in
Oh, good christ.
It's got her teeth marks in
it...
It's got her teeth marks in
it...
The things she chews her food
It...
The things she chews her food
with.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Uh, stretching.
What are you doing?
Uh, stretching.
You're leaving.
Uh, stretching.
You're leaving.
And leaving.
You're leaving.
And leaving.
Well, okay.
And leaving.
Well, okay.
I guess that's cool with me if
Well, okay.
I guess that's cool with me if
you want to leave.
I guess I can stay a little
I guess I can stay a little
while, baby.
[ Bed squeaking ]
[ Bed squeaking ]
[ cheers and applause ]
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
now, shirling may well be a new
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
now, shirling may well be a new
sport for some, but for those of
Now, shirling may well be a new
sport for some, but for those of
us who have taken to this
Sport for some, but for those of
us who have taken to this
exciting gaelic-italian
Us who have taken to this
exciting gaelic-italian
tradition, we think that the
Exciting gaelic-italian
tradition, we think that the
popularity of shirling and the
Tradition, we think that the
popularity of shirling and the
gate receipts will only continue
Popularity of shirling and the
gate receipts will only continue
to rise.
Gate receipts will only continue
to rise.
And I firmly believe that one
To rise.
And I firmly believe that one
day shirling will be performed
And I firmly believe that one
day shirling will be performed
at the olympics.
Day shirling will be performed
at the olympics.
Are the teams from toronto and
At the olympics.
Are the teams from toronto and
boston ready?
Are the teams from toronto and
boston ready?
Hey, hey!
Boston ready?
Hey, hey!
Let's shirl!
Hey, hey!
Let's shirl!
[ Bagpipes play off-key ]
[ Whistle blows ]
[ Whistle blows ]
[ bagpipe playing stops ]
[ Whistle blows ]
[ bagpipe playing stops ]
[ hissing ]
[ Bagpipe playing stops ]
[ hissing ]
[ whistle blows ]
[ Hissing ]
[ whistle blows ]
[ men grunting ]
[ Whistle blows ]
[ men grunting ]
[ grunting intensifies ]
Take him down!
Take him down!
Take him down!
Take him down!
Take him down!
[ Men shouting indistinctly ]
Take him down!
[ Men shouting indistinctly ]
[ hissing ]
[ Men shouting indistinctly ]
[ hissing ]
aaaaah! Aaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
[ Hissing ]
aaaaah! Aaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
[ Whistle blows ]
Aaaaah! Aaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
[ Whistle blows ]
[ crowd cheering ]
[ Whistle blows ]
[ crowd cheering ]
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
[ Crowd cheering ]
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
New snake, shirlers.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
New snake, shirlers.
New snake!
New snake, shirlers.
New snake!
New snake.
New snake!
New snake.
New snake.
New snake.
New snake.
[ Whistle blows ]
New snake.
[ Whistle blows ]
[ men grunting ]
No, let's go!
No, let's go!
Aaah! Ohh! Ohh!
No, let's go!
Aaah! Ohh! Ohh!
[ Crowd cheering ]
Aaah! Ohh! Ohh!
[ Crowd cheering ]
[ whistle blows ]
[ Crowd cheering ]
[ whistle blows ]
[ men grunting ]
[ Whistle blows ]
[ men grunting ]
great game, boys.
[ Men grunting ]
great game, boys.
Great game.
Great game, boys.
Great game.
Great game, steve.
Great game.
Great game, steve.
Good to see you.
Great game, steve.
Good to see you.
Thank you, captains.
Good to see you.
Thank you, captains.
Thank you.
Thank you, captains.
Thank you.
Excuse me, sir.
Thank you.
Excuse me, sir.
First time to a shirling game?
Excuse me, sir.
First time to a shirling game?
Yeah.
First time to a shirling game?
Yeah.
So, what'd you think?
Yeah.
So, what'd you think?
It was okay.
So, what'd you think?
It was okay.
It was kind of weird.
It was okay.
It was kind of weird.
Ah, I think you mean
It was kind of weird.
Ah, I think you mean
"intense."
Ah, I think you mean
"intense."
Well, I might mean "strange."
"Intense."
Well, I might mean "strange."
No, I think you mean
Well, I might mean "strange."
No, I think you mean
"intense."
No, I think you mean
"intense."
Bryan, can I have the gate
"Intense."
Bryan, can I have the gate
receipts, please?
Bryan, can I have the gate
receipts, please?
Oh, peppy, peppy, peppy, no, no,
Receipts, please?
Oh, peppy, peppy, peppy, no, no,
no.
Oh, peppy, peppy, peppy, no, no,
no.
All right, thank you, bryan.
No.
All right, thank you, bryan.
Good night.
All right, thank you, bryan.
Good night.
Ha ha ha.
Good night.
Ha ha ha.
Great bloody glory, look at the
Ha ha ha.
Great bloody glory, look at the
size of this thing.
Great bloody glory, look at the
size of this thing.
Oh, you brought the monster
Size of this thing.
Oh, you brought the monster
truck.
Oh, you brought the monster
truck.
Yes, sir.
Truck.
Yes, sir.
Listen, how'd it go tonight?
Yes, sir.
Listen, how'd it go tonight?
Oh, great game, great game,
Listen, how'd it go tonight?
Oh, great game, great game,
great game.
Oh, great game, great game,
great game.
Uh, now, look, tom, here's your
Great game.
Uh, now, look, tom, here's your
%.
Uh, now, look, tom, here's your
%.
It's a little bit on the light
%.
It's a little bit on the light
side, I'm afraid.
It's a little bit on the light
side, I'm afraid.
Listen, don't worry about it.
Side, I'm afraid.
Listen, don't worry about it.
You know, a few years back,
Listen, don't worry about it.
You know, a few years back,
monster-trucking was in the same
You know, a few years back,
monster-trucking was in the same
shape as shirling is today.
Monster-trucking was in the same
shape as shirling is today.
Ah, you don't know how good
Shape as shirling is today.
Ah, you don't know how good
it is to hear that, especially
Ah, you don't know how good
it is to hear that, especially
coming from a monster trucker.
It is to hear that, especially
coming from a monster trucker.
Well, shirling is a good
Coming from a monster trucker.
Well, shirling is a good
sport, too.
Well, shirling is a good
sport, too.
It is, isn't it?
Sport, too.
It is, isn't it?
Yeah.
It is, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good night, david.
Yeah.
Good night, david.
Good night, tom.
Good night, david.
Good night, tom.
Take care.
Good night, tom.
Take care.
Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
03x15 - Episode 15
Watch/Buy Amazon
The Kids frequently appeared as themselves rather than as characters, and some sketches dealt directly with the fact that they were a comedy troupe producing a TV show.
The Kids frequently appeared as themselves rather than as characters, and some sketches dealt directly with the fact that they were a comedy troupe producing a TV show.