04x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

Okay.

Okay.
Okay.

Okay.
Okay.
[ Clucks ]

Okay.
[ Clucks ]
let's go.

[ Clucks ]
let's go.
Ha ha!

Let's go.
Ha ha!
Yeah, I'm ready to go.

Ha ha!
Yeah, I'm ready to go.
Come on, let's go.

Yeah, I'm ready to go.
Come on, let's go.
I'm gonna kick your ass --

Come on, let's go.
I'm gonna kick your ass --
hey. Watch your language.

I'm gonna kick your ass --
hey. Watch your language.
My parents are here.

Hey. Watch your language.
My parents are here.
What are they doing here?

My parents are here.
What are they doing here?
Well, they like to watch me

What are they doing here?
Well, they like to watch me
compete.

Well, they like to watch me
compete.
Gee, that's great.

Compete.
Gee, that's great.
Yeah.

Gee, that's great.
Yeah.
Yeah, I wish my folks would

Yeah.
Yeah, I wish my folks would
support me that way.

Yeah, I wish my folks would
support me that way.
Yeah.

Support me that way.
Yeah.
Okay, let's go!

Yeah.
Okay, let's go!
Come on!

Okay, let's go!
Come on!
[ Shouting ]

She's eating chips.

She's eating chips.
And she's so thin, it's evil.

She's eating chips.
And she's so thin, it's evil.
I hate her.

And she's so thin, it's evil.
I hate her.
I don't know, kath.

I hate her.
I don't know, kath.
I think it's important not to

I don't know, kath.
I think it's important not to
prejudge people.

I think it's important not to
prejudge people.
I mean, what we are inside is so

Prejudge people.
I mean, what we are inside is so
much more important than a

I mean, what we are inside is so
much more important than a
beautiful casing.

Much more important than a
beautiful casing.
Cathy, come on.

Beautiful casing.
Cathy, come on.
Mother teresa would be jealous.

Cathy, come on.
Mother teresa would be jealous.
Do you think those chips

Mother teresa would be jealous.
Do you think those chips
taste good?

Do you think those chips
taste good?
Well, they are chips.

Taste good?
Well, they are chips.
Of course.

Well, they are chips.
Of course.
Stupid question.

Of course.
Stupid question.
Thank you.

Stupid question.
Thank you.
Uh, "welcome aboard" roses.

Thank you.
Uh, "welcome aboard" roses.
Right.

Uh, "welcome aboard" roses.
Right.
You know what it's like.

Right.
You know what it's like.
Sure.

You know what it's like.
Sure.
Uh-huh, yeah.

Sure.
Uh-huh, yeah.
Welcome aboard.

Uh-huh, yeah.
Welcome aboard.
You're right -- I hate her.

Welcome aboard.
You're right -- I hate her.
Oh, my -- oh!

You're right -- I hate her.
Oh, my -- oh!
I know it's a cliché, but if

Oh, my -- oh!
I know it's a cliché, but if
I ate that, it would go right to

I know it's a cliché, but if
I ate that, it would go right to
my hips with rest stops at my

I ate that, it would go right to
my hips with rest stops at my
tummy, arms, and ears.

My hips with rest stops at my
tummy, arms, and ears.
Your ears, cathy?

Tummy, arms, and ears.
Your ears, cathy?
Yeah, when I overeat, my

Your ears, cathy?
Yeah, when I overeat, my
lobes balloon.

Yeah, when I overeat, my
lobes balloon.
You hadn't noticed?

Lobes balloon.
You hadn't noticed?
No, I hadn't noticed.

You hadn't noticed?
No, I hadn't noticed.
But, then, I can eat whatever I

No, I hadn't noticed.
But, then, I can eat whatever I
like.

But, then, I can eat whatever I
like.
Of course, I gain weight.

Like.
Of course, I gain weight.
You know, when I was younger,

Of course, I gain weight.
You know, when I was younger,
I could eat all day.

You know, when I was younger,
I could eat all day.
Of course, then I always worked

I could eat all day.
Of course, then I always worked
it off sh*t-putting and hunting.

Of course, then I always worked
it off sh*t-putting and hunting.
Do you know that I haven't sh*t

It off sh*t-putting and hunting.
Do you know that I haven't sh*t
an elk in over three seasons?

Do you know that I haven't sh*t
an elk in over three seasons?
I must be getting old.

An elk in over three seasons?
I must be getting old.
Aah!

I must be getting old.
Aah!
What?

Aah!
What?
Don't use that word.

What?
Don't use that word.
What word?

Don't use that word.
What word?
The "o" word.

What word?
The "o" word.
"Orgasm"?

The "o" word.
"Orgasm"?
[ Shouts ]

"Orgasm"?
[ Shouts ]
"ornithology"?

[ Shouts ]
"ornithology"?
No -- "old"!

"Ornithology"?
No -- "old"!
"Old," as in the sentence, "I'm

No -- "old"!
"Old," as in the sentence, "I'm
getting old."

"Old," as in the sentence, "I'm
getting old."
Hi.

Getting old."
Hi.
This is from the man in the

Hi.
This is from the man in the
restaurant down the street.

This is from the man in the
restaurant down the street.
He saw you on the way to work.

Restaurant down the street.
He saw you on the way to work.
Oh. Thank him for me.

He saw you on the way to work.
Oh. Thank him for me.
I have a confession to make.

Oh. Thank him for me.
I have a confession to make.
I'm all ears.

I have a confession to make.
I'm all ears.
Sorry.

I'm all ears.
Sorry.
Sometimes, I go bar hopping.

Sorry.
Sometimes, I go bar hopping.
Yeah? That's great.

Sometimes, I go bar hopping.
Yeah? That's great.
No, it's not what you think.

Yeah? That's great.
No, it's not what you think.
I don't drink.

No, it's not what you think.
I don't drink.
I just order.

I don't drink.
I just order.
What?

I just order.
What?
I go hoping they'll ask me

What?
I go hoping they'll ask me
for i.d.

I go hoping they'll ask me
for i.d.
That's sick!

For i.d.
That's sick!
I haven't been asked for i.d.

That's sick!
I haven't been asked for i.d.
Since I was .

I haven't been asked for i.d.
Since I was .
See, you don't have to worry

Since I was .
See, you don't have to worry
about aging, kath, but I do...

See, you don't have to worry
about aging, kath, but I do...
For I am cute.

About aging, kath, but I do...
For I am cute.
You are cute.

For I am cute.
You are cute.
But the cute, as a species,

You are cute.
But the cute, as a species,
don't age well.

But the cute, as a species,
don't age well.
What?

Don't age well.
What?
No, I know my appeal.

What?
No, I know my appeal.
I took marketing.

No, I know my appeal.
I took marketing.
Listen up, kid.

I took marketing.
Listen up, kid.
You may be getting a little bit

Listen up, kid.
You may be getting a little bit
older, granted, but you have a

You may be getting a little bit
older, granted, but you have a
wonderful life.

Older, granted, but you have a
wonderful life.
I do?

Wonderful life.
I do?
Yes, you do.

I do?
Yes, you do.
You have...

Yes, you do.
You have...
I have...

You have...
I have...
Uh...

I have...
Uh...
There's...

Uh...
There's...
You have...

There's...
You have...
Oh, i...

You have...
Oh, i...
Uh...

Oh, i...
Uh...
Uh...

Uh...
Uh...
I have my own set of pots!

Uh...
I have my own set of pots!
Yeah! Your own set of pots!

I have my own set of pots!
Yeah! Your own set of pots!
Hi.

Yeah! Your own set of pots!
Hi.
Hi.

Hi.
Hi.
I was wondering -- would you

Hi.
I was wondering -- would you
take these?

I was wondering -- would you
take these?
I've, uh, kind of run out of

Take these?
I've, uh, kind of run out of
space.

I've, uh, kind of run out of
space.
Oh, okay. Sure.

Space.
Oh, okay. Sure.
Thanks.

Oh, okay. Sure.
Thanks.
Excuse me.

Thanks.
Excuse me.
How old are you?

Excuse me.
How old are you?
Oh, uh...i forget.

How old are you?
Oh, uh...i forget.
You forget?

Oh, uh...i forget.
You forget?
-- No, -- .

You forget?
-- No, -- .
Bye.

-- No, -- .
Bye.
Bye-bye.

Bye.
Bye-bye.
Hey, cathy, I see you got

Bye-bye.
Hey, cathy, I see you got
some flowers.

Hey, cathy, I see you got
some flowers.
So, who's the lucky guy?

Some flowers.
So, who's the lucky guy?
I -- well...blush-blush.

So, who's the lucky guy?
I -- well...blush-blush.
Actually, jer, they're from

I -- well...blush-blush.
Actually, jer, they're from
the new girl.

Actually, jer, they're from
the new girl.
What?

The new girl.
What?
Yeah.

What?
Yeah.
Yes, with a card that said,

Yeah.
Yes, with a card that said,
"lez be friends."

Yes, with a card that said,
"lez be friends."
Tell everyone about the new

"Lez be friends."
Tell everyone about the new
girl!

Tell everyone about the new
girl!
Welcome aboard!

[ Shouting ]

[ Shouting ]
come on, come here!

[ Shouting ]
come on, come here!
Come here!

Come on, come here!
Come here!
Come here!

Come here!
Come here!
Hey, hey, hey!

Come here!
Hey, hey, hey!
Come on, smart guy!

Hey, hey, hey!
Come on, smart guy!
Come on!

Come on, smart guy!
Come on!
[ Clucks ]

Come on!
[ Clucks ]
come on.

[ Clucks ]
come on.
Yeah!

Come on.
Yeah!
Hey, the sun's going down on

Yeah!
Hey, the sun's going down on
you guys, man.

Hey, the sun's going down on
you guys, man.
That's right!

You guys, man.
That's right!
Oh, yeah?

That's right!
Oh, yeah?
Yeah!

Oh, yeah?
Yeah!
Okay, you take the

Yeah!
Okay, you take the
good-looking guy, and I'll take

Okay, you take the
good-looking guy, and I'll take
the real ugly guy.

Good-looking guy, and I'll take
the real ugly guy.
[ Shouting ]

The real ugly guy.
[ Shouting ]
you think he's good-looking?

[ Shouting ]
you think he's good-looking?
Yeah, you know -- nice eyes,

You think he's good-looking?
Yeah, you know -- nice eyes,
honest smile.

Yeah, you know -- nice eyes,
honest smile.
I don't know.

[ Oompah music plays ]

Darrill?

Darrill?
Darrill?

Darrill?
Darrill?
Darrill?

Darrill?
Darrill?
Oh, gosh.

Darrill?
Oh, gosh.
Where did I go off to then, eh?

Oh, gosh.
Where did I go off to then, eh?
Well, your -- your cheese is

Where did I go off to then, eh?
Well, your -- your cheese is
getting cold.

Well, your -- your cheese is
getting cold.
Oh, I'm sorry.

Getting cold.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was completely gone there for

Oh, I'm sorry.
I was completely gone there for
a minute.

I was completely gone there for
a minute.
What were you thinking about?

A minute.
What were you thinking about?
Oh, you know, just listening

What were you thinking about?
Oh, you know, just listening
to the band.

Oh, you know, just listening
to the band.
Listening to what band?

To the band.
Listening to what band?
Oh, you know, when you drift

Listening to what band?
Oh, you know, when you drift
away, when you daydream, you

Oh, you know, when you drift
away, when you daydream, you
always see that little, tiny

Away, when you daydream, you
always see that little, tiny
oompah band, and you sort of nod

Always see that little, tiny
oompah band, and you sort of nod
to the music, you know?

Oompah band, and you sort of nod
to the music, you know?
I don't see a tiny oompah

To the music, you know?
I don't see a tiny oompah
band when I daydream.

I don't see a tiny oompah
band when I daydream.
[ Laughs ]

Band when I daydream.
[ Laughs ]
what do you mean you don't see a

[ Laughs ]
what do you mean you don't see a
tiny, little oompah band when

What do you mean you don't see a
tiny, little oompah band when
you daydream?

Tiny, little oompah band when
you daydream?
Well, I don't.

You daydream?
Well, I don't.
Well, what do you see?

Well, I don't.
Well, what do you see?
Well, I see lots of things.

Well, what do you see?
Well, I see lots of things.
I see things.

Well, I see lots of things.
I see things.
I see people.

I see things.
I see people.
People?

I see people.
People?
Friends.

People?
Friends.
Sometimes I imagine myself

Friends.
Sometimes I imagine myself
somewhere else.

Sometimes I imagine myself
somewhere else.
Somewhere else?!

Somewhere else.
Somewhere else?!
How charming!

Somewhere else?!
How charming!
So you take a little vacation

How charming!
So you take a little vacation
without leaving where you're at.

So you take a little vacation
without leaving where you're at.
Splendid.

Without leaving where you're at.
Splendid.
Gosh, and what do you take for

Splendid.
Gosh, and what do you take for
the headaches?

Gosh, and what do you take for
the headaches?
What headaches?

The headaches?
What headaches?
You know, those unbelievably

What headaches?
You know, those unbelievably
painful headaches you get just

You know, those unbelievably
painful headaches you get just
after you daydream.

Painful headaches you get just
after you daydream.
I don't get any headaches.

After you daydream.
I don't get any headaches.
My god, are you getting

I don't get any headaches.
My god, are you getting
headaches?

My god, are you getting
headaches?
Yes, every time.

Headaches?
Yes, every time.
Maybe you should see a

Yes, every time.
Maybe you should see a
doctor.

Maybe you should see a
doctor.
Do you think I could be sick?

Doctor.
Do you think I could be sick?
[ Oompah music plays ]

Do you think I could be sick?
[ Oompah music plays ]
darrill.

[ Oompah music plays ]
darrill.
Darrill.

Darrill.
Darrill.
Darrill!

Darrill.
Darrill!
Uh, yes, doctor?

Darrill!
Uh, yes, doctor?
I'm afraid that you have a

Uh, yes, doctor?
I'm afraid that you have a
brain tumor.

I'm afraid that you have a
brain tumor.
Yes.

Brain tumor.
Yes.
I was afraid that's what it was.

Yes.
I was afraid that's what it was.
You are going to die.

I was afraid that's what it was.
You are going to die.
And with so much left undone.

You are going to die.
And with so much left undone.
I have yet to visit asia minor.

And with so much left undone.
I have yet to visit asia minor.
Darrill?

I have yet to visit asia minor.
Darrill?
Darrill!

Darrill?
Darrill!
Hey!

Darrill!
Hey!
I just went to a doctor's

Hey!
I just went to a doctor's
office.

I just went to a doctor's
office.
Yes, and I imagined he was

Office.
Yes, and I imagined he was
telling me that I was dying of

Yes, and I imagined he was
telling me that I was dying of
a brain tumor.

Telling me that I was dying of
a brain tumor.
Oh, this is fantastic -- a whole

A brain tumor.
Oh, this is fantastic -- a whole
world of imagination beyond the

Oh, this is fantastic -- a whole
world of imagination beyond the
oompah band.

World of imagination beyond the
oompah band.
Well, that's wonderful.

Oompah band.
Well, that's wonderful.
I have to go.

Well, that's wonderful.
I have to go.
Oh, you're not going.

I have to go.
Oh, you're not going.
Yes, I am.

Oh, you're not going.
Yes, I am.
Oh, you're not going.

Yes, I am.
Oh, you're not going.
Yes, I am.

Oh, you're not going.
Yes, I am.
You're not going to go.

Yes, I am.
You're not going to go.
Yes, I am.

You're not going to go.
Yes, I am.
All right, you go, and I'll

Yes, I am.
All right, you go, and I'll
daydream a little adventure for

All right, you go, and I'll
daydream a little adventure for
you using my newfound powers of

Daydream a little adventure for
you using my newfound powers of
imagination.

You using my newfound powers of
imagination.
Okay?

Imagination.
Okay?
Goodbye, darrill.

Okay?
Goodbye, darrill.
[ Oompah music plays ]

Goodbye, darrill.
[ Oompah music plays ]
oh, yes!

[ Oompah music plays ]
oh, yes!
All right!

Oh, yes!
All right!
Oh, yeah!

All right!
Oh, yeah!
Work that love triangle!

Oh, yeah!
Work that love triangle!
Yes!

Work that love triangle!
Yes!
Yeah!

Ooh!

Ooh!
Yeah!

Ooh!
Yeah!
Okay, I'll take --

Yeah!
Okay, I'll take --
no, let me do this one.

Okay, I'll take --
no, let me do this one.
Uh, okay.

No, let me do this one.
Uh, okay.
I'll take the guy in the

Uh, okay.
I'll take the guy in the
t-shirt, and you take the great

I'll take the guy in the
t-shirt, and you take the great
flesh-eating creature of antor.

T-shirt, and you take the great
flesh-eating creature of antor.
[ Roars ]

Flesh-eating creature of antor.
[ Roars ]
okay, sure.

[ Roars ]
okay, sure.
Okay, let's go!

Okay, sure.
Okay, let's go!
[ Roars ]

Okay, let's go!
[ Roars ]
[ dance music plays ]

Take it all off!

Take it all off!
[ Boing! ]

Take it all off!
[ Boing! ]
Whoops.

[ Boing! ]
Whoops.
I was just auditioning a dancer

Whoops.
I was just auditioning a dancer
in virtual reality.

I was just auditioning a dancer
in virtual reality.
He's hired.

In virtual reality.
He's hired.
I thought he was very sexy for

He's hired.
I thought he was very sexy for
a cartoon.

I thought he was very sexy for
a cartoon.
Sort of like me.

A cartoon.
Sort of like me.
The difference is, cartoons work

Sort of like me.
The difference is, cartoons work
for free.

The difference is, cartoons work
for free.
This entire virtual-reality

For free.
This entire virtual-reality
ensemble was a gift from a sheik

This entire virtual-reality
ensemble was a gift from a sheik
admirer of mine.

Ensemble was a gift from a sheik
admirer of mine.
Not an admirer that's chic --

Admirer of mine.
Not an admirer that's chic --
just a rich arab.

Not an admirer that's chic --
just a rich arab.
The technology is still very

Just a rich arab.
The technology is still very
crude.

The technology is still very
crude.
You can basically get the same

Crude.
You can basically get the same
effects from sitting too close

You can basically get the same
effects from sitting too close
to the tv.

Effects from sitting too close
to the tv.
But then there's no hat.

To the tv.
But then there's no hat.
But, of course, it's getting

But then there's no hat.
But, of course, it's getting
better all the time.

But, of course, it's getting
better all the time.
One day, there'll be

Better all the time.
One day, there'll be
virtual-reality concerts.

One day, there'll be
virtual-reality concerts.
Imagine liza this close and

Virtual-reality concerts.
Imagine liza this close and
sweating on you!

Imagine liza this close and
sweating on you!
Scary!

Sweating on you!
Scary!
One day, you'll be able to

Scary!
One day, you'll be able to
actually interface with other

One day, you'll be able to
actually interface with other
cybernauts in cyberspace.

Actually interface with other
cybernauts in cyberspace.
Which leads one to the

Cybernauts in cyberspace.
Which leads one to the
obvious -- virtual sex.

Which leads one to the
obvious -- virtual sex.
That should be easy.

Obvious -- virtual sex.
That should be easy.
Gays have been having virtual

That should be easy.
Gays have been having virtual
sex for years now.

Gays have been having virtual
sex for years now.
The only problem is, the people

Sex for years now.
The only problem is, the people
you're most likely to encounter

The only problem is, the people
you're most likely to encounter
in cyberland would be computer

You're most likely to encounter
in cyberland would be computer
nerds and hackers, trekkies with

In cyberland would be computer
nerds and hackers, trekkies with
red pubic hair.

Of course, I suppose since the

Of course, I suppose since the
idea is to leave the body

Of course, I suppose since the
idea is to leave the body
behind, you could look like

Idea is to leave the body
behind, you could look like
anybody you want.

Behind, you could look like
anybody you want.
I think I'd be a man.

Anybody you want.
I think I'd be a man.
It's just more exciting to

I think I'd be a man.
It's just more exciting to
pretend.

It's just more exciting to
pretend.
It'd be sort of like phone sex,

Pretend.
It'd be sort of like phone sex,
except less expensive and less

It'd be sort of like phone sex,
except less expensive and less
dangerous.

Except less expensive and less
dangerous.
Well, you know how it is when

Dangerous.
Well, you know how it is when
you're talking to someone on the

Well, you know how it is when
you're talking to someone on the
phone and he sounds like the

You're talking to someone on the
phone and he sounds like the
sexiest man in the land.

Phone and he sounds like the
sexiest man in the land.
So you go over in the dead of

Sexiest man in the land.
So you go over in the dead of
the night really drunk.

So you go over in the dead of
the night really drunk.
He lives in a really scary part

The night really drunk.
He lives in a really scary part
of town, but you don't care

He lives in a really scary part
of town, but you don't care
because you're really horny.

Of town, but you don't care
because you're really horny.
Then when he opens the door,

Because you're really horny.
Then when he opens the door,
he's standing there nude, and he

Then when he opens the door,
he's standing there nude, and he
looks like burgess meredith.

He's standing there nude, and he
looks like burgess meredith.
This happened to a friend of

Looks like burgess meredith.
This happened to a friend of
mine.

This happened to a friend of
mine.
This would never happen in

Mine.
This would never happen in
virtual reality because you

This would never happen in
virtual reality because you
never leave the artificial

Virtual reality because you
never leave the artificial
environment.

Never leave the artificial
environment.
Sort of like me.

Environment.
Sort of like me.
The last time I left the bar,

Sort of like me.
The last time I left the bar,
I went to a bar.

The last time I left the bar,
I went to a bar.
Eventually, you'll be able to

I went to a bar.
Eventually, you'll be able to
get it on with all your favorite

Eventually, you'll be able to
get it on with all your favorite
stars.

Get it on with all your favorite
stars.
I know what you're thinking --

Stars.
I know what you're thinking --
when can you have virtual sex

I know what you're thinking --
when can you have virtual sex
with me?

When can you have virtual sex
with me?
Well, you'll be happy to know

With me?
Well, you'll be happy to know
that I'm already hard at work on

Well, you'll be happy to know
that I'm already hard at work on
a buddy cole program.

That I'm already hard at work on
a buddy cole program.
It'll come in three locations --

A buddy cole program.
It'll come in three locations --
the bedroom, the backroom, and

It'll come in three locations --
the bedroom, the backroom, and
the bushes.

The bedroom, the backroom, and
the bushes.
What do I like best about

The bushes.
What do I like best about
virtual reality?

What do I like best about
virtual reality?
Smoking!

♪ Da, da, da, da, da-da-da ♪

♪ Da, da, da, da, da-da-da ♪
♪ da, da, da, da, da-da-da ♪

♪ Da, da, da, da, da-da-da ♪
♪ da, da, da, da, da-da-da ♪
♪ da, da, da, da, da-da-da ♪

♪ Da, da, da, da, da-da-da ♪
♪ da, da, da, da, da-da-da ♪
♪ da, da, da, da, da, da ♪

♪ Da, da, da, da, da-da-da ♪
♪ da, da, da, da, da, da ♪
♪ da, da, da, da, da ♪

♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da ♪
♪ da, da, da, da, da ♪
♪ da, da, da ♪

♪ Da, da, da, da, da ♪
♪ da, da, da ♪
do you want another

♪ Da, da, da ♪
do you want another
hard-boiled egg?

Do you want another
hard-boiled egg?
Okay, but I've already had

Hard-boiled egg?
Okay, but I've already had
four.

Okay, but I've already had
four.
Four?

Four.
Four?
But I made six -- three each.

Four?
But I made six -- three each.
Hey, you know I like my

But I made six -- three each.
Hey, you know I like my
hard-boiled eggs.

Hey, you know I like my
hard-boiled eggs.
But I did all the work.

Hard-boiled eggs.
But I did all the work.
I boiled the water.

But I did all the work.
I boiled the water.
I peeled the eggs.

I boiled the water.
I peeled the eggs.
Well, you kept handing them

I peeled the eggs.
Well, you kept handing them
to me.

Well, you kept handing them
to me.
Why'd you give me four?

To me.
Why'd you give me four?
I wasn't counting.

Why'd you give me four?
I wasn't counting.
I'm gonna eat this one.

I wasn't counting.
I'm gonna eat this one.
Hey, do what you do.

I'm gonna eat this one.
Hey, do what you do.
Stop the car!

Hey, do what you do.
Stop the car!
[ Tires screech ]

Stop the car!
[ Tires screech ]
what?

[ Tires screech ]
what?
There's a deer by the water.

What?
There's a deer by the water.
What?

There's a deer by the water.
What?
There's a deer by the water.

What?
There's a deer by the water.
Where?

There's a deer by the water.
Where?
There.

Where?
There.
A what?

There.
A what?
A deer.

A what?
A deer.
That's not a deer.

A deer.
That's not a deer.
That's a bear.

That's not a deer.
That's a bear.
No, it's a deer.

That's a bear.
No, it's a deer.
Where?

No, it's a deer.
Where?
There, by the water.

Where?
There, by the water.
Hey, that is a bear.

There, by the water.
Hey, that is a bear.
Whatever it is, it's by the

Hey, that is a bear.
Whatever it is, it's by the
water.

Whatever it is, it's by the
water.
I'm gonna go get a picture for

Water.
I'm gonna go get a picture for
the girls.

I'm gonna go get a picture for
the girls.
What?

The girls.
What?
I'm gonna get out of the car.

What?
I'm gonna get out of the car.
I'm gonna get a picture of the

I'm gonna get out of the car.
I'm gonna get a picture of the
deer for the girls.

I'm gonna get a picture of the
deer for the girls.
But it's a bear.

Deer for the girls.
But it's a bear.
If it is a bear, don't you

But it's a bear.
If it is a bear, don't you
think a bear's a worthy picture

If it is a bear, don't you
think a bear's a worthy picture
for the girls?

Think a bear's a worthy picture
for the girls?
Hey, I wouldn't get out of no

For the girls?
Hey, I wouldn't get out of no
car to take a picture of a bear.

Hey, I wouldn't get out of no
car to take a picture of a bear.
I'm gonna get out of the car.

Car to take a picture of a bear.
I'm gonna get out of the car.
I'm gonna take my camera.

I'm gonna get out of the car.
I'm gonna take my camera.
I'm gonna get a picture of the

I'm gonna take my camera.
I'm gonna get a picture of the
deer or bear by the water.

I'm gonna get a picture of the
deer or bear by the water.
Are you coming with me?

Deer or bear by the water.
Are you coming with me?
No, 'cause in my heart of

Are you coming with me?
No, 'cause in my heart of
hearts, I know that's a bear.

No, 'cause in my heart of
hearts, I know that's a bear.
All right, but don't eat my

Hearts, I know that's a bear.
All right, but don't eat my
last hard-boiled egg.

All right, but don't eat my
last hard-boiled egg.
Hey, but if the bear eats

Last hard-boiled egg.
Hey, but if the bear eats
you, then can I eat your

Hey, but if the bear eats
you, then can I eat your
hard-boiled egg?

You, then can I eat your
hard-boiled egg?
It's gonna be beautiful.

Hard-boiled egg?
It's gonna be beautiful.
Ooh, that's a good-looking

It's gonna be beautiful.
Ooh, that's a good-looking
egg.

Ooh, that's a good-looking
egg.
Here, pretty deer!

Egg.
Here, pretty deer!
Here, pretty deer!

Here, pretty deer!
Here, pretty deer!
Bear! Charging bear!

Here, pretty deer!
Bear! Charging bear!
[ Bear growls ]

Bear! Charging bear!
[ Bear growls ]
start the car!

[ Bear growls ]
start the car!
I told you it was a bear.

Start the car!
I told you it was a bear.
Start the car!

I told you it was a bear.
Start the car!
The car won't start!

Start the car!
The car won't start!
Did you eat my hard-boiled

The car won't start!
Did you eat my hard-boiled
egg?

Did you eat my hard-boiled
egg?
Hey, I thought the bear was

Egg?
Hey, I thought the bear was
gonna eat you.

Hey, I thought the bear was
gonna eat you.
Instead of grieving, you

Gonna eat you.
Instead of grieving, you
would eat a hard-boiled egg?

Instead of grieving, you
would eat a hard-boiled egg?
Hey, call it a funeral egg,

Would eat a hard-boiled egg?
Hey, call it a funeral egg,
I don't know.

On october , , an era

On october , , an era
came to an end.

On october , , an era
came to an end.
The great vaudeville entertainer

Came to an end.
The great vaudeville entertainer
cyril st. John, almost

The great vaudeville entertainer
cyril st. John, almost
completely forgotten and

Cyril st. John, almost
completely forgotten and
entirely dead, was laid to rest.

Daddy never liked cyril.

Daddy never liked cyril.
No, not in the least, no.

Daddy never liked cyril.
No, not in the least, no.
In fact, when cyril was only a

No, not in the least, no.
In fact, when cyril was only a
baby, daddy once took cyril and

In fact, when cyril was only a
baby, daddy once took cyril and
put him in a paper bag and threw

Baby, daddy once took cyril and
put him in a paper bag and threw
him in the river.

I believe it was his intent to

I believe it was his intent to
drown cyril.

I believe it was his intent to
drown cyril.
But somehow or another, cyril

Drown cyril.
But somehow or another, cyril
managed to escape the bag and

But somehow or another, cyril
managed to escape the bag and
make it to shore.

Managed to escape the bag and
make it to shore.
And daddy, quite despite

Make it to shore.
And daddy, quite despite
himself, was heard to remark,

And daddy, quite despite
himself, was heard to remark,
"that boy's really got

Himself, was heard to remark,
"that boy's really got
something."

"That boy's really got
something."
He still never liked cyril, but

Something."
He still never liked cyril, but
after that, there was...respect.

He still never liked cyril, but
after that, there was...respect.
The man once known to

After that, there was...respect.
The man once known to
millions worldwide simply as

The man once known to
millions worldwide simply as
"the escapist" began his career

Millions worldwide simply as
"the escapist" began his career
modestly in the early 's.

"The escapist" began his career
modestly in the early 's.
This early newsreel footage

Modestly in the early 's.
This early newsreel footage
shows him performing one of his

This early newsreel footage
shows him performing one of his
most celebrated feats -- an

Shows him performing one of his
most celebrated feats -- an
escape from the large, wet paper

Most celebrated feats -- an
escape from the large, wet paper
bag.

Escape from the large, wet paper
bag.
But the thrill-hungry audiences

Bag.
But the thrill-hungry audiences
of the 's were not easily

But the thrill-hungry audiences
of the 's were not easily
satisfied.

Of the 's were not easily
satisfied.
"Transatlantic news" --

Satisfied.
"Transatlantic news" --
the escapist testing the limits

"Transatlantic news" --
the escapist testing the limits
of humanity.

The escapist testing the limits
of humanity.
Mr. Mayor, would you please

Of humanity.
Mr. Mayor, would you please
attest as to the authenticity of

Mr. Mayor, would you please
attest as to the authenticity of
this straitjacket?

Attest as to the authenticity of
this straitjacket?
Yes.

This straitjacket?
Yes.
To the best of my knowledge as

Yes.
To the best of my knowledge as
mayor, I would have to say that

To the best of my knowledge as
mayor, I would have to say that
this appears to be a completely

Mayor, I would have to say that
this appears to be a completely
authentic straitjacket of the

This appears to be a completely
authentic straitjacket of the
type used in our own humanely

Authentic straitjacket of the
type used in our own humanely
run insane asylums.

Type used in our own humanely
run insane asylums.
And, mr. St. John, may I say

Run insane asylums.
And, mr. St. John, may I say
that you would have to be insane

And, mr. St. John, may I say
that you would have to be insane
to attempt this daring stunt?

That you would have to be insane
to attempt this daring stunt?
[ Both chuckle ]

To attempt this daring stunt?
[ Both chuckle ]
we shall see, your honor.

[ Both chuckle ]
we shall see, your honor.
May I now please be raised into

We shall see, your honor.
May I now please be raised into
the air?

The minutes passed...

The minutes passed...
Turned into hours.

The minutes passed...
Turned into hours.
The hours became days.

Turned into hours.
The hours became days.
The days stretched into weeks.

The hours became days.
The days stretched into weeks.
Although cyril struggled on

The days stretched into weeks.
Although cyril struggled on
gamely, it was all too apparent

Although cyril struggled on
gamely, it was all too apparent
that the great escapist had

Gamely, it was all too apparent
that the great escapist had
finally met his match.

That the great escapist had
finally met his match.
Found america racing to

Finally met his match.
Found america racing to
w*r, and the public quickly lost

Found america racing to
w*r, and the public quickly lost
interest in daredevils.

w*r, and the public quickly lost
interest in daredevils.
Cyril, no longer in the

Interest in daredevils.
Cyril, no longer in the
spotlight, was quick to enlist

Cyril, no longer in the
spotlight, was quick to enlist
to serve his country.

Spotlight, was quick to enlist
to serve his country.
[ g*nf*re ]

To serve his country.
[ g*nf*re ]
[ g*nsh*t ]

[ g*nf*re ]
[ g*nsh*t ]
after being wounded a record

[ g*nsh*t ]
after being wounded a record
times, cyril returned to america

After being wounded a record
times, cyril returned to america
as an honored w*r hero.

Times, cyril returned to america
as an honored w*r hero.
He was given his own show in the

As an honored w*r hero.
He was given his own show in the
new medium of television.

[ Applause ]

[ Applause ]
hey, dad.

[ Applause ]
hey, dad.
[ Applause ]

Hey, dad.
[ Applause ]
yes, ronnie?

[ Applause ]
yes, ronnie?
Do you think I could borrow

Yes, ronnie?
Do you think I could borrow
the car tonight?

Do you think I could borrow
the car tonight?
Well, I don't know, ronnie.

The car tonight?
Well, I don't know, ronnie.
Aw, come on.

Well, I don't know, ronnie.
Aw, come on.
It's not like you're gonna be

Aw, come on.
It's not like you're gonna be
using it.

It's not like you're gonna be
using it.
Why, I ought to...

Using it.
Why, I ought to...
Yeah, as if you could.

Why, I ought to...
Yeah, as if you could.
[ Laughter ]

Yeah, as if you could.
[ Laughter ]
see ya, pops.

[ Laughter ]
see ya, pops.
[ Applause ]

See ya, pops.
[ Applause ]
the great thing about tv in

[ Applause ]
the great thing about tv in
the old days was that it was

The great thing about tv in
the old days was that it was
live.

The old days was that it was
live.
You had one sh*t at it, and

Live.
You had one sh*t at it, and
anything could happen.

You had one sh*t at it, and
anything could happen.
Somebody would forget a line,

Anything could happen.
Somebody would forget a line,
break a prop.

Somebody would forget a line,
break a prop.
Hell, he might even have gotten

Break a prop.
Hell, he might even have gotten
out of that damn thing.

You never knew.

"Fit to be tied" ran from

"Fit to be tied" ran from
to , when, according to

"Fit to be tied" ran from
to , when, according to
network executives, despite the

To , when, according to
network executives, despite the
addition of a monkey to the

Network executives, despite the
addition of a monkey to the
cast, the premise just ran out

Addition of a monkey to the
cast, the premise just ran out
of steam.

Several unsuccessful films

Several unsuccessful films
followed.

Several unsuccessful films
followed.
"Bound to serve" was the tale of

Followed.
"Bound to serve" was the tale of
a mountie bringing law and order

"Bound to serve" was the tale of
a mountie bringing law and order
to the canadian northwest.

A mountie bringing law and order
to the canadian northwest.
Although considered to be his

To the canadian northwest.
Although considered to be his
best film, it was also

Although considered to be his
best film, it was also
considered to be terrible.

Best film, it was also
considered to be terrible.
Minutes after its release,

Considered to be terrible.
Minutes after its release,
cyril announced his retirement

Minutes after its release,
cyril announced his retirement
from show business.

Many years of isolation

Many years of isolation
followed.

Many years of isolation
followed.
Unable to cope with life out of

Followed.
Unable to cope with life out of
the public eye, cyril st. John,

Unable to cope with life out of
the public eye, cyril st. John,
the escapist, lapsed into mental

The public eye, cyril st. John,
the escapist, lapsed into mental
illness and was

The escapist, lapsed into mental
illness and was
institutionalized.

Illness and was
institutionalized.
[ Grunting ]

Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes!
Yes!

Yes! Yes!
Yes!
Now, in the early 's,

Yes!
Now, in the early 's,
something strange and wonderful

Now, in the early 's,
something strange and wonderful
happened.

The old kinescopes of

The old kinescopes of
"fit to be tied" were rerun all

"Fit to be tied" were rerun all
over america, and a whole new

Over america, and a whole new
generation was being turned on

Generation was being turned on
to cyril st. John.

This, of course, led to the

This, of course, led to the
famous carnegie hall appearance

This, of course, led to the
famous carnegie hall appearance
in '.

Famous carnegie hall appearance
in '.
[ Musical introduction plays ]

In '.
[ Musical introduction plays ]
[ cheers and applause ]

[ Musical introduction plays ]
[ cheers and applause ]
♪ lydia, oh, lydia ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]
♪ lydia, oh, lydia ♪
♪ say, have you met lydia? ♪

♪ Lydia, oh, lydia ♪
♪ say, have you met lydia? ♪
♪ Lydia, the tattooed lady ♪

♪ Say, have you met lydia? ♪
♪ Lydia, the tattooed lady ♪
ohh.

♪ Lydia, the tattooed lady ♪
ohh.
Ohh.

Ohh.
Ohh.
[ Cheers and applause ]

Ohh.
[ Cheers and applause ]
ohh.

[ Cheers and applause ]
ohh.
♪ Oh, lydia ♪

Ohh.
♪ Oh, lydia ♪
♪ lydia ♪

♪ Oh, lydia ♪
♪ lydia ♪
♪ lydia ♪

♪ Lydia ♪
♪ lydia ♪
♪ tattooed lady ♪

That was to be the escapist's

That was to be the escapist's
last public appearance, but for

That was to be the escapist's
last public appearance, but for
one.