04x20 - Rick Sings

[bunniefuu]

[RIK HOWARD & BOB WIRTH'S

"TOGETHER" PLAYING]

♪ Here we are, face to face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find

We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Making a go

Making it grow ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Taking the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things

You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

[POP MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ I'm out on my own tonight

And I'm ♪

♪ Walking alone ♪

♪ I'm looking for company ♪

♪ Passin' the pretty girls

With ♪

♪ Hope in their eyes ♪

♪ Could they be right for me ♪

♪ I'm gonna break

A heart tonight ♪

♪ I may look hot

But I'm cold as ice ♪

♪ I'm gonna break

A heart tonight ♪

♪ My eyes are cruel

And I dress real fine ♪

♪ I may look close

But I'm out of sight ♪

♪ I'm gonna break

A heart tonight ♪

Hey, Ginger.

I don't know if you know,

but I'm their manager.

I gave the lead singer there

most of his moves.

Like that. Huh? Huh?

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

I pick out most

of their songs too.

You see, I came up with

their name, Splat.

I was gonna call them Squish,

but I think Splat is

much more professional.

What do you think?

Ken!

She had something important

she wanted to tell Ken, okay?

Yeah. She wanted to tell him

you don't exist.

And I suppose

you guys do, huh?

Well, uh, ahem,

Ginger doesn't ignore me.

Brad, what are you

talking about?

Just yesterday,

she told you to drop dead.

Yeah, well, at least

she talked to me.

Face it, Rick.

The way to a woman's heart

is through her ears.

Man, I could've learned

guitar in music class too,

but no.

I had to take

those stupid classes

that prepare you for college.

Well, you're still important

to the group, Rick.

Yeah. We couldn't get anywhere

without a manager

doing all that stuff for us.

So, what have you

been doing for us?

Didn't I tell you? I sent

a tape of Splat to Rock Search.

BOYS: All right!

All right! A sh*t on TV.

That's just what we need.

Yeah.

We might wind up

with a record deal.

Do a music video.

Play big stadiums.

Maybe even get paid!

[RICK LAUGHS]

Hey, hey, Ken. Ken.

Rick might get us

a sh*t on Rock Search.

All right!

Girls, tell Rick

he's doing a good job.

GIRLS [IN UNISON]:

Good job, Rick.

Thanks.

Did you see that?

He's got four girls.

Yeah, well, uh, heh,

he's trying to cut down.

But, Edward,

I don't enjoy camping.

That's 'cause you never stood

in the middle of

a Northwest forest

with the trees

towering above you

like a giant pipe organ.

It's a religious experience.

It's like

being in a cathedral.

Good.

Then pray for some company,

because I am not going.

I thought

you liked the outdoors.

I do.

In the daytime,

and when the day is over,

I like to go indoors

and take a hot shower.

Come on, Kate,

roughin' it every now

and again is good for you.

[CHUCKLES]

Remember when we stayed

at the Plaza Hotel,

and we ran out

of fresh towels?

Yeah?

That is my idea

of roughing it.

I-I just don't wanna give up

the basics in life, like...

a hot dinner.

You want a hot dinner?

Ha-ha-ha!

Look what I got!

The latest in

freeze-dried technology.

We got lobster thermidor...

veal Oscar...

turkey tetrazzini.

[THUDS]

Sounds appetizing.

I've got bucks tied up

in this stuff.

I'll tell you what,

I'll whip one up for you.

Oh, Edward--

No, it's no problem.

It'll take a second.

Hi, Kate.

Hi.

Are Brad and Alfonso here yet?

Not yet.

I don't wanna be late

for rehearsal.

Oh, how'd Splat do

at Burgers last night?

Terrific, Kate.

The place was jam-packed.

The band did nine encores,

two of which

the audience asked for.

Sounds great.

It was.

The guy who owns Burgers

was so pleased,

he gave us all our food

and our drinks, everything,

percent off.

Wow! Show biz.

Isn't it the greatest?

Not to mention Ginger.

Who's Ginger?

Just the prettiest girl

on Long Island is all.

What a catch she would make.

Catch?

Is she a girl or a fish?

She's more like a fox.

Ginger's a solid .

Rick, you should look

at a woman as a person,

not as a number.

Come on, Kate.

I'm only years old.

I like to kid around.

It doesn't mean

I don't respect girls.

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

What's her personality like?

Kate, with a body

like that, who cares?

Look,

she's a cheerleader.

Her picture made

the school newspaper.

KATE:

Oh, she's very pretty.

Pretty? This is pure ow!

Fox, solid , ow--

Where are you

getting all of this?

Hey, Rick, how you-- Ow!

Your father just answered

my question.

[PHONE RINGING]

I got it.

Try this.

You'll love it.

This turkey smells fishy.

That's because it's lobster.

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

I'll get it.

Hey, yo, Mr. Stratton.

EDWARD: Hey, guys.

[SNIFFS]

Hey, turkey?

Lobster.

Well, then why does it

smell so fishy?

Yes, we will. We'll be there

Saturday, p.m. on the dot.

And thank you.

[SHOUTS]

Ow-how!

Look out! Wow-how!

Good news?

Great news! Where's Ken?

Uh, he'll be a little late.

He made the mistake

of walking past a mirror store.

Guys, that was Rock Search.

The TV show with

all the rock bands?

Are you serious?

Don't tell me.

You guessed it. They want Splat

to be on their show

this Saturday.

[ALL EXCLAIMING]

That is great news!

Congratulations, guys!

Thanks, Dad.

We've got

so much work to do.

We've got to work out

a new routine.

Let's get started.

Well, ahem,

lucky for you guys...

You know me.

What?

Well, I-I happen to know a few

things about show business,

having been there

a year or two myself.

Ed-Edward.

Dad, I don't think this is--

No, this'll just take a second.

It's something

you ought to know.

See, every great group made

their songs more vivid

by adding life to the words.

Life?

Yeah, life...

Like the Temptations.

Here. Watch.

Here, stand back here.

♪ I guess you'd say ♪

♪ What can make me

Feel this way ♪

♪ My girl ♪

[IN HIGH PITCH]

♪ My girl ♪

[IN LOW PITCH]

♪ My girl ♪

[IN NORMAL PITCH]

♪ Talkin' 'bout my girl ♪

♪ My girl ♪

♪ I got so much honey ♪

You see?

Who were the Temptations?

Guys, guys, guys,

come here. Come here.

Now, remember,

when you finish the song,

I want you to jump

real high.

Easy for you.

You're not holding

a -pound guitar.

I just want you guys

to do well.

This is the big time now.

I know. One of

the celebrity judges

is Pee Wee Herman's

little cousin.

Yeah, Wee Wee Herman.

[ALL LAUGH]

Okay, Splat, you're next.

Already? But our lead singer

hasn't shown up.

You mean, he isn't here yet?

Wait, wait, here he is.

Are you okay, Ken?

What's the matter?

[WHISPERING] I can't talk.

What?

I can't go on.

Why not?

What's wrong over here?

It's our lead singer.

He can't talk.

So what?

He found the studio.

Most of 'em

can't even do that.

I mean, he's sick.

He can't go on.

In that case, we'll have

to bump you guys off the show,

get another group.

Hello, Booth, we got--

No, wait!

We can still go on.

Without a lead singer?

No. One of us

will have to fill in.

Cubby?

Wow.

Don't look at me, heh.

Fast Eddie, come on.

No way.

All right, all right,

I'll do it.

Do you know the words, Brad?

Eh. I'll wing it.

Rick?

KEN: Yeah, Rick.

No. No, no, no.

Yeah, Rick, you've got to.

I can't.

Come on, Rick.

There isn't a move Ken makes

that you didn't teach him.

And you know

the song we're doing.

I can't sing!

Neither could Ken!

BOY: Yeah.

Just kidding.

Come on. We're never gonna get

another chance like this again.

You've got to.

You've got to do this.

Come on.

Come on, Rick.

BRAD:

All right.

I-I don't know

what's happening.

Stand by, I'll check it out.

[BOYS WHISPER INDISTINCTLY]

Hey, this is a family show.

No, he's not going on.

He is.

BOYS: Yeah!

Come on.

Guys...

CUBBY:

Forward. Rick, go.

[♪♪♪]

Don't worry, Rick.

You know all the words,

all the moves.

You've got

what it takes, guy.

You're a pro, a winner,

you're hot, you're now.

You're gonna do great.

Yeah. And just don't blow it.

ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:

Our next group has been

packing them in

at all the latest hangouts in

Shallow Springs, Long Island.

Hurry, Edward! It's them!

Okay, okay,

I'm here. I'm here.

It's Rick!

Hold on to your seats,

everyone,

and get ready for Splat!

[STAMMERING]

Hurry! Tape this!

Come on, get a tape!

Where's Poppa?

I can't use that.

Ben-Hur,

Casablanca...

[SPLAT PLAYING UPBEAT POP MUSIC]

♪ We stood out

At your window ♪

♪ As you looked

Over the city ♪

♪ I asked you

Something about you ♪

♪ You said you had

Nothing to say ♪

♪ Why don't you talk to me ♪

♪ Talk to me ♪

♪ Tell me that

You need someone to ♪

♪ Be near you ♪

♪ Why don't you talk to me ♪

♪ Talk to me ♪

♪ You'll see that

I'll be the one who ♪

♪ Can hear you ♪

[PLAYING A GUITAR SOLO]

♪ Why don't you talk to me

Talk to me ♪

♪ Tell me that

You need someone to ♪

♪ Be near you ♪

♪ Why don't you talk to me ♪

♪ Talk to me ♪

♪ You'll see that

I'll be the one who ♪

♪ Can hear you ♪

Oh, dear. Use this.

♪ Talk to me ♪

Red River, you want me to tape

over a John Wayne movie?

Yes!

Sorry, Duke.

♪ Can hear you ♪

♪ Why don't you talk to me ♪

♪ Talk to me ♪

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING]

He's terrific!

[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

All right, Stratton.

Now, when you walk in,

walk in slow.

Let your fans come to you.

Brad, would you cut it out?

My singing was a one-sh*t thing.

It was an emergency.

I stepped in to help out.

I'm never doing it again.

Heh. All the more reason

to milk it for all it's worth.

Yeah. Enjoy it while you can.

Look, I'm gonna walk in there,

and nothing's gonna happen.

No one will treat me

any different.

[GIRLS SCREAMING AND WHOOPING]

Oh, it's really him!

So I was wrong.

I saw you on TV.

Great.

You were better than

Boy George.

Thanks,

I think.

Oh, can I have your autograph?

Oh, don't be silly.

Then can I touch you?

Where?

Hi, Rick.

Ginger.

I'm sitting at this table,

all alone.

Care to join me?

Me?

Sure.

No, Rick!

Please don't go!

[GIRLS PLEADING INDISTINCTLY]

Cool it!

You looked just great

on TV tonight.

Really?

I was so excited,

I thought

I was gonna pass out.

I know the feeling.

Can I get you a cola

or something?

Yeah, sure. With lots of ice?

Lots of ice.

Life is fair.

Life is good...

and fun...

and fair.

[KEYS JINGLE]

Hi.

Hi. Good, you're home.

Guess what, Kate?

Ken got sick, and I had

to sing in his place!

Well, we were waiting up

to congratulate you.

Well, then you saw me?

We not only saw you,

we taped you.

Great! Did Dad like it?

Like it?

He couldn't sit still.

He's doing okay now.

Is that the tape?

Yep. All rewound

and ready to go.

Good.

And Dad didn't have

any problems taping it?

No problems.

All right.

WAYNE [ON TV]:

Well, you wanna make

something of it, pilgrim?

Duke, is that you?

It's all right.

Alfonso taped it.

Now, honey, I know this is only

a tryout, but if you like it,

I'll take you up to

the Canadian North Woods.

And if I don't like it?

I'll take you anyway,

only I'll leave you there.

[CHUCKLES DRYLY]

Face it, Edward.

I am just not

cut out for camping.

Maybe if I had

a glass of wine.

Wine?

Campers don't have wine.

[GROANS SOFTLY]

Please?

I'd be the most grateful

campfire girl

you ever saw.

Hold that thought.

Hi.

Hey.

How's it going

out in the wilderness?

Fine. I was just getting a

little something for snakebite.

I see you're still

in costume.

Yeah. Ginger

asked me to wear

what I wore on Rock Search.

We're going to a party.

Ginger, as in "ow"?

Heh, that's the one.

[CHUCKLES]

KATE:

Don't you guys

start that again.

Isn't it funny that Ginger

didn't know you existed

until you sang

a rock song on TV?

[SCOFFS]

Dad, I know what

you're getting at.

You think Ginger likes me

because of that stupid TV thing.

Why would I think

a thing like that?

Well, Dad, it's not like that.

Ginger likes me

because of who I am.

And she'll feel that way

when you split from Splat?

Split from Splat?

You're gonna

have to leave the group

when Ken's voice

is all better, right?

Right.

And you told her that?

Well, yes and no.

More like no,

But I will, Dad, as soon as

I get the chance, I promise.

But in the meantime,

you're looking at

the lead singer of Splat.

[SIGHS]

You know, I don't think we're

gonna need the wine after all.

What?

Well, this camping is

starting to grow on me.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh... Mmm...

The darkness...

Yeah.

The night air...

The moon...

Mm.

Kate, I have

a confession to make.

Mm-hm?

That isn't the moon.

It's the chandelier.

Whatever.

Turn it off.

Hold that thought.

Oh, it was

a wonderful party, Rick.

It was really fab...ulous.

There's hardly anyone here.

[SCOFFS]

Are you're sure

you wanna stop for a cola?

It's getting kind of late.

Late? What's late?

Does Mick Jagger

stop partying

because it's late?

Of course not,

but he doesn't

have school tomorrow.

Look. A table by the window.

Great. We can look out.

Yeah, and people

can look in.

Listen, Ginger, uh...

About Splat--

Did you see the look

on everyone's face at the party

when we walked in?

Mary Ann and Carol

almost d*ed.

Yeah.

I'm glad I came in handy.

What are you doing?

It's kind of warm in here.

Oh, keep it on, please?

Why?

It's good for your image.

What image?

Well, you do sing with Splat.

Listen, Ginger, about that--

I've got something to tell you.

I'm listening.

I'm not gonna sing

with Splat anymore.

Well, you see,

Ken got his voice back,

and I didn't wanna sing

in the first place.

All I wanted to do

was go out with you

'cause I think you're special,

and I like you.

And I know that, deep down,

you're a very sensitive person.

And I'd like us

to have a relationship

based on something real.

You're not gonna sing

with Splat anymore?

No.

Oh.

Anyway, what I was saying was--

Look, it's getting

kind of late.

I-- I better get home.

Late?

Would Mick Jagger's girl

think it's late?

Heh.

You're not Mick Jagger.

I guess I had this coming.

What do you mean?

[SIGHS]

Well, I hate to say this,

but at first I only liked you

because you had a great body.

Really?

But there-- There has to be

more to a relationship

than just

physical attraction.

Says who?

This has been some night.

I may as well

have stayed home

and looked at my

baseball card collection.

You collect

baseball cards too?

Yeah. You mean,

you collect--?

Hey, I have three brothers.

Do you have the ' Yankees?

Every one of them.

Including Tony Kubek?

I've got two of those!

[SIGHS]

Wow!

Maybe sometime you'd like to

come over and see them?

I'd love to.

Heh, great!

Is it okay if I bring Ken?

Wasn't tonight a wonderful

compromise to going camping?

Honey, going to Chez Maison

is not my idea

of a compromise.

Oh, really? They had trees.

They had trickling water.

We ate under the stars,

just like camping.

Yeah, but when you camp,

you don't have

four Frenchmen in tuxedos

setting your food on fire.

[UPBEAT POP SONG

PLAYING ON TELEVISION]

Oh, how sad.

RICKY [ON TV]:

♪ Talk to me

Talk to me ♪

Sitting all alone

in the dark,

watching himself on TV?

Like looking at

old newspaper clippings.

He's taking this pretty hard.

Well, he lost his girl,

he lost his singing job.

Maybe you should

talk to him.

No.

I think

we better leave him alone.

He's gotta work this out

in his own way.

Let's go up the kitchen stairs.

♪ Can hear you ♪

♪ Why don't you talk to me ♪

♪ Talk to me ♪

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING]

That was neat.

Can we see it again?

Well... Okay.

[CHUCKLES]

Do you want

some more soda, Rick?

Yeah, please.

I'll help.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Life is fair.

Life is good...

and fun...

and fair.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]