04x23 - Rick at 16

[bunniefuu]

[RIK HOWARD & BOB WIRTH'S

"TOGETHER" PLAYING]

♪ Here we are, face to face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find

♪ We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Makin' a go

Makin' it grow ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about

Those things ♪

♪ You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

[♪♪♪]

More coffee, Edward?

Yeah.

Fill 'er up.

Must be good coffee.

You never ask

for a second plateful.

Mm-hm.

I'm thinking

of growing a mustache.

Good, honey. Good.

I'm sorry, Kate.

I was a million miles away.

I'm trying to think of what

to get Rick for his birthday.

Well, we're throwing him

a big party.

But this is

his th birthday.

I wanna get him

something special.

Like what?

If I knew,

I wouldn't be asking you

to grow a mustache.

How about a horse?

A lot of kids

around have horses.

A horse?

How do you gift wrap a horse?

Then how about an ID bracelet?

You went from a horse

to an ID bracelet?

You can't think of something

in between?

Well, I know he would like

a graphite tennis racquet.

Kate, that's a wonderful idea!

That's why I bought him one.

Hey, guys.

Oh, hi, Rick.

Hi, bud.

That is no way to eat breakfast.

It is if you wanna

get to English early.

Oh, what are you studying?

Heh, Nicole Desmond.

Hope you're doing better

with Nicole than geometry.

Not really.

I've been trying

to invite her to my party,

but every time I get near her,

I get so flustered.

Do you see what I mean?

Why don't you send her

an invitation?

Oh, sure, Dad,

with bunnies and clowns.

Yeah.

I know what I'll do.

I'll make

my own invitation at school.

See you later.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Almost .

Mm.

Look at him. He's running

around, dating girls.

When I was , I was

just trying to figure out

how my Slinky worked.

I've gotta get him

something special.

Yeah, is

an important birthday.

It's a milestone.

It's when a boy becomes a man.

That may explain

why he wants Nicole Desmond.

Good morning, all.

Hey, Dex.

Hi, Dexter.

[DEXTER CLEARS THROAT]

Would you like some coffee?

No, thanks.

It'll make me too nervous.

Boy, traffic on that expressway

was bumper to bumper.

Such screaming

and cursing and yelling,

and that was just me.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

What's with him?

Rick's birthday. It's Saturday.

He doesn't know what to get him.

Why don't you give him

what I give Alfonso every year?

I don't think I'll give Rick

a subscription

to The Wall Street Journal.

Suit yourself.

I just dropped by.

I'm on my way to the dealer's.

Dealer's?

Feast your eyes on this.

A Porsche.

That's "Porsche-ah."

Sor-ry.

It's fully loaded

to the max, babe.

Babe?

I'd never even heard

of a -speaker stereo,

but I got one.

I won't even ask you

how much you're gonna

pay for your Porsche...ah.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

Some clients would wonder

where their accountants get the

money for such a car. Toodle-oo!

Know what we should

do some night this week?

Stay home

and audit our books.

[♪♪♪]

Here you go,

one for each of you.

What are these?

Come on, read 'em. Find out.

"What?

"Birthday party.

When?

Saturday, p.m.

Where?

Stratton residence.

Why?"

Why not?"

You already invited us

two weeks ago.

This makes it official.

Can you guys come?

Do I have to bring a present?

No.

I'll be there.

How about you, Brad?

I don't know.

Birthday parties don't go along

with the bad-boy rebel image

I'm trying to build.

We're gonna have your favorite

ice cream: tutti-frutti ripple.

Count me in.

Oh, thanks, Jimmy.

That's Timmy.

[SCOFFS]

Close enough.

So, Rick, what do you want

for your birthday?

I think he's looking at it.

Oh, Nicole Desmond.

Why don't you invite her

to your party?

Maybe I will.

Then what are you waiting for?

Go get her.

Guys, guys, I was

gonna mail her one.

So you just saved

yourself cents.

Yeah, right. Heh.

If I can get through.

Hi, Nicole!

Huh? Ha! Do you know

how long it took me

to learn that trick?

[SIGHS]

Smooth, Stratton. Real smooth.

Hi, fellas.

BOTH [MOCKINGLY]:

Hi, Julie.

Rick, uh, are you finished

copying my geometry notes?

Not yet. Listen, I'll get them

back to you soon.

Oh, don't hurry on my account.

[BELL RINGS]

Hi.

MR. STEVENS: Morning, class.

STUDENTS:

Good morning.

As you recall yesterday,

we were discussing

the Renaissance poets

and their use

of poetic imagery.

Today, we turn

to the Romantics.

Now, please pay

close attention

to the three major factors

of Romantic literature.

Construction...

Psst!

...melody...

Psst!

...and imagery.

[WHISPERING] Brad.

Yo, Brad!

Now, Byron is a very good

example of these three.

You know, there's a great deal

of freedom in Byron's poems

and there's a great deal of

alliteration and meter.

Brad!

Brad, here, here.

Now, make no mistake-- Langford!

Did I see you passing a note?

Huh? Uh, no, sir. Heh.

I was just setting my watch

to the school clock,

because I believe there's

nothing more unforgivable

than tardiness.

It's getting

pretty deep in here.

Now, let's take a look

at one of Byron's poems.

And I want you to listen

to the symphonic, musical

effect of the words.

Tis midnight

But it is not dark

Within thy spacious St. Mark

The lights within

The lights without

Shine above the revel rout

The brazen steeds

Are glittering o'er

The holy building's

Messy door...

[♪♪♪]

Rick! Rick!

Easy, babe. I won't run away.

I got your invitation.

I don't know what to say.

How about yes?

Yes, yes.

A thousand times, yes!

Easy, a hundred will do.

Oh, I can't wait to go.

I'm so tired of dating boys.

I need a man.

A full grown, fully matured,

-year-old man.

How can I ever thank you?

We'll think of something.

Who's talking?

We are.

Oh, uh, sorry, Stratton.

We're not done yet.

Well, uh, take your time.

Rick's inviting me

to his birthday party.

Well, I hope you said yes.

A thousand times.

Well, that's

the first smart thing

I've seen you do

in this class.

Are you done yet?

Oh, sorry. Uh...

I was just getting ready

to hand out the homework,

but of course you don't

have to do it, Stratton.

Right.

All right,

the party's this Saturday.

You be there.

Oh, I will, I will, I will.

Now I'm gonna kiss you

on the mouth, babe.

Why?

Because it's there.

[BELL RINGS]

Mission accomplished, dude.

All right.

Geometry notes delivered

by Brad Express.

Geometry notes?

Oh, Rick, I'd love

to come to your birthday party

and be your date.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Hi, hon. Rick home?

No, he's still at the Y.

Again? Boy, ever since

his soccer coach

told him to build his strength,

he spends all his time

at the YMCA.

I know.

That's it, Kate!

What?

I know what to give Rick

for a birthday present!

A YMCA?

No, a Nautilus

exercising machine.

Oh, what a great idea!

At least it'll fit

in the garage.

I'm gonna order one right now.

Wrong number.

Good day at school?

I'm joining

the French Foreign Legion.

You'll hate the food.

Too sandy.

No jokes, okay, Dad?

They're almost as bad

as your suggestions.

What suggestions?

Like the one this morning,

that I send an invitation

to Nicole.

That didn't work?

I passed the invitation

to Brad, but he messed up.

He gave the invitation

to Julie Warren instead.

Uh-oh. The wrong girl?

Is she ever.

What am I gonna do?

Julie thinks she's my date

for the most important

birthday of my entire life.

Why didn't you tell her

the truth?

I couldn't, Dad.

She was so...happy.

Sooner or later,

she's gonna know

that invitation

wasn't meant for her.

The longer you wait,

the more it'll hurt

when you do tell her.

Okay. Okay, I'll tell her

the truth, heh.

The party's canceled because

I'm having heart surgery.

Mumps? Measles.

Athlete's foot.

Hey, Rick.

Hey, Tim.

Hi.

Oh, no.

You're getting better.

You only dropped two

this time.

Yeah, well, I've been

working on it.

So I heard you're having

a birthday party.

Sounds like it's gonna be

a lot of fun.

Yeah, well, I hope so.

Hey, I don't suppose

you'd like to stop by?

Oh, well, gee,

it's awfully short notice.

I don't know

if I could get a date.

Well, I think I can solve

that little problem.

How?

Look, you'll be my date.

Here. The party's

this Saturday, : . Heh.

I'll be there.

You can come earlier...

like Friday.

See you.

Rick, you've hit the jackpot!

JULIE:

Hi, Rick.

Julie. Julie, how are you?

I think I should talk to you.

I bought my party dress.

You didn't.

I did. It's blue.

I hope it won't clash

with anything you wear.

I can't take it back.

You can't?

No. We bought it on sale.

Although you'd never know

from what we paid.

I told my mom

we shouldn't get it,

but it's not every day

that a girl gets asked out

for the very first time.

You mean you've never

had a date before?

Never.

Not even a cousin

or anything?

I was beginning to wonder if

something was wrong with me...

till you came along.

Now, what was it

that you wanted to tell me?

The-- The party starts at : .

[ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

So, Stratton, .

How does it feel?

Brad, I told you,

keep away from me.

You're the one

who went and invited Nicole.

All I did was invite...

BOTH [MOCKINGLY]:

Julie.

I can't believe you've got

two dates to the same party.

No wonder I look up to you.

[CHUCKLES]

Would you knock it off?

Look, I need your help.

All right, all right,

I'll take Nicole off your hands.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Who will it be?

Girl number one

or girl number two?

Hi.

Numero uno.

Happy birthday, Rick.

Glad you could make it.

Great. Thanks a lot.

Hey, guys.

Guys, would you mind?

Wow, this is

a really neat house.

I'm so glad you invited me.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Guys, there's someone

at the door. Would you mind?

Sure.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hey, how you doing?

Happy birthday.

Thanks.

Hi, birthday boy.

So...you came.

Happy birthday, Rick.

Great. Thanks a lot.

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Looks like a terrific party.

Uh, yeah, it's a great one.

[RICK CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

So do we watch it for a while

and then join in, or...?

Heck no.

We join in whenever we want.

You've gotta

use the bathroom, right?

Why?

No reason. Um, don't you wanna

check your hair or something?

What's wrong with it?

Nothing. Nothing.

If you want me

to change it, I will.

Look, it's perfectly...fine.

[MOUTHS] Hi.

Listen, if you're not gonna

use the bathroom, I am.

Nicole,

when you're finished,

can I borrow your mirror?

What for?

I'm not sure.

I wonder how Rick's doing

with his two dates.

I hope a lot better

than you're doing at cards.

Gin. Heh-heh!

Oh!

Well, that's to .

Edward, I hate to say this,

but I'm not having

much fun tonight.

The way you play,

I'm not surprised.

That is not what I mean.

Why are we stuck

out here in the kitchen?

Because it's a teenage party.

The kids wouldn't have

any fun with us around.

Why don't we go to a movie?

Because it's a teenage party.

The kids would have

too much fun without us around.

Speaking of which,

I'm due for another patrol.

[LAUGHS OMINOUSLY]

Whoo! Hello, Dexter!

Thought you guys might wanna go

for a spin in my Porsche.

Oh, we can't. We're chaperoning

Rick's birthday party.

Thirty-five teenagers.

Thirty-five teenagers? Yeesh.

[SUCKS TEETH]

I was petrified of getting

a scratch on my new baby,

so I took the liberty

of parking in the garage.

Ah, fine.

It's in front of

some contraption,

looks like it's from

another planet.

Oh, that's Edward's present

to Rick.

Sounds just like Edward.

Do you have any coffee?

Oh, I'll make you some.

Oh, thanks.

[CLEARS THROAT]

to . You're improving.

How would you like

to make your own coffee?

[SOFT ROMANTIC SONG PLAYING]

Hi. Uh, you having fun?

I was, until I got stuck

talking to Julie.

Well, what did she say?

Who listens to Julie?

Well, I--

Who brought her, anyway?

I have got to see this guy.

Oh. He-- He's around.

What, Dad? What?

Yeah. Right away, Dad.

Excuse me, guys.

I'll be right back.

Dad!

Son!

I thought I heard you calling.

Guess I was wrong.

Old ears are

playing tricks on me.

Boy, at ,

your body goes to pot, huh?

Have fun with your friends.

I'll be in the kitchen.

No! Dad, come on. You can't go.

Why not?

Because my present, Dad.

You haven't given me my present.

It's time for my present.

Please, Dad?

Well, son, I was gonna

give it to you later.

You sure you want it now?

Yes, Dad, I really want it now.

Please?

Okay. Well, son--

Hey, guys, come on!

Rick's getting his present!

[CHUCKLES]

Well, son, ahem,

I thought long and hard

about what to get you.

I know that th birthday is

a very special day

in a boy's life.

I think I came up

with something

that's gonna make you remember

this day for a long time.

Your present's

out in the garage.

Really?

You can't miss it.

All right.

All right.

Hey, hey, hold it, g*ng.

Look, look, let me check it out.

Hey-yo, Mr. Stratton.

Hey-yo, Brad.

Uh, what did you get Rick?

You'll see.

Oh, come on.

You can tell us.

Well, let's just

put it this way.

It's something he'll get

a lot of use out of.

Underwear.

What's going on? Where's Rick?

Out in the garage

looking at his gift.

Oh, I can hardly wait to see

the expression on his face.

Neither can I!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

A...

KATE: Yeah.

Puh-- Puh-- Por--

[LAUGHS]

His dad got him a "puh"?

Dad, I love you!

[LAUGHS]

Well, son, I'll tell you what,

you use that machine,

and in a little while,

the girls

will flock to you.

[LAUGHS]

Dad, they're gonna flock

the first day!

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

It's got all the accessories,

all the options.

I saw it. Chrome trim,

dual pipes, stereo.

It comes with a stereo?

I guess.

So, what did you get?

Guys, my dad bought me...

a brand-new...

candy-apple red Porsche!

Really?

EDWARD:

Uh, son--

Yes, Father, who I love

so much I could bust.

Uh, Rick, are you talking about

that car that's in the garage?

Yeah!

That's Dexter's.

You bought Dexter a Porsche?

No, of course not.

You didn't by any chance

happen to see

an exercise machine

in the garage?

Well, yeah, yeah.

What about it?

That's your present.

Yeah, the car belongs

to Dexter.

He just bought it.

Oh, no.

[GUESTS GROANING, MURMURING]

You mean...?

I'm sorry.

Well, hey,

what would I do with it, anyway?

I'm too young to drive, right?

Yeah!

Come on, you can use a Nautilus

machine the first day.

An exercise machine. That's...

That's great. Heh.

Boy, Dad,

that's really fabulous.

I'm glad you like it.

It's a wonderful gift.

Thank you.

Hey! How about some

birthday cake, everybody? Huh?

Boy, what a letdown.

Hey, I'll get over it.

I was talking about me.

Yeah, well--

And did you hear Julie?

"That was a wonderful gift."

And that dress.

What did she do,

steal a shower curtain?

BRAD:

Attention please, everybody.

Huh? It is now time

for the birthday dude

to dance the birthday dance

with the dudette

of his choice.

[ALL CHEERING, APPLAUDING]

No, no.

You've got to!

Come on, birthday boy.

[JUKEBOX CLICKS,

"SIXTEEN CANDLES" PLAYS]

♪ Happy birthday ♪

Excuse me.

♪ Happy birthday, baby ♪

♪ Oh, I love you so... ♪

May I?

You want to dance with me?

You're my date, aren't you?

[SIGHS]

The kid's got class.

Of course, I could show him

a few things about dancing.

♪ Blow out the candles ♪

♪ Make your wish come true... ♪

[♪♪♪]