05x09 - Rick's Learning Problem

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are

Face to face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hoping to find

We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Making a go

Making it grow ♪

♪ Together

We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together

Taking the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things

You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons

Together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

[♪♪♪]

Will you hurry up, honey?

I'm hurrying, sweetheart.

Not you. Kate!

KATE:

I'm hurrying too.

Aah, running a little late

are we, today, son?

Yeah, I overslept.

Again?

Maybe when the alarm goes off

you shouldn't just hit

the snooze bar.

I know, Dad, I know.

You know, I read an article

about this very thing.

You know what the number one

cause of lateness is in America?

Fatherly lectures?

Go to school.

Kate!

What kept you?

I don't know.

I feel so creaky.

I hope I'm not coming down

with a cold.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

You don't say:

"I hope I'm not

coming down with a cold."

You say, "I am not

coming down with a cold."

Come on, honey, say it.

Please, Edward.

It's a case of mind over matter.

Say it.

It's a case

of mind over matter.

Not that. "I am not

coming down with a cold."

All right. "I am not

coming down with a cold."

Good. Heh-heh.

[SNEEZES]

June th, .

Anyone?

Anyone else...?

Okay, Stratton.

D-Day. Invasion of France.

Very good. Code name?

Let's give someone else

a chance, shall we?

Alfonso.

No, no, that's okay.

I don't mind.

Alfonso, code name.

Operation Overdrive.

Rick?

Operation Overlord.

I was close.

All right.

Does anyone know

the size and magnitude

of this operation?

Brad?

Uh...big.

Little more specific.

Looks like it's just

you and me, Stratton.

There was one million troops,

landing crafts,

warships,

and , planes.

Like I said, big.

I hope your sense of humor's

still with you

after the test on Thursday.

How can I learn all this stuff

by Thursday?

You know it's funny you

should ask, I was just gonna--

Stratton.

Yes, sir?

Do you think you can fill

the rest of the class in

on the Battle of the Bulge?

Hey Bronco, great game.

[CLASSROOM CHATTER]

All right, all right.

Settle down.

Would you care to share

with the rest of the class

today's excuse for being late,

Mr. Fontaine?

I fell asleep in the whirlpool.

I'd still be there,

but the bubbles went up my nose.

[CLASSROOM LAUGHS]

All right, settle down.

This is a history class,

not a locker room.

That's funny,

they both smell the same.

Ha, ha.

[BELL RINGS]

Don't forget Thursday.

I saw you and Jodi whispering.

What did she say?

Oh, she's worried

about the history test.

Well, you can teach her

a little history,

maybe she can teach you

a little biology.

Stratton?

Could I speak to you?

Uh-oh. See you at Burger's.

Yes, sir?

Obviously, you're ready

for Thursday's exam.

Oh, absolutely!

Well, one of

your classmates isn't.

Really?

Yeah, I thought maybe you'd like

to do a little tutoring.

Sure. I'd-I'd love to.

I'll have Bronco

get in touch.

Great...

Bronco?

[♪♪♪]

Honey, you didn't

have to drive me home.

I could've taken a cab.

You said you were too weak

to dial the phone.

I look awful.

Ah, ah, ah. What happened

to mind over matter?

Come on say it, "I am not

coming down with a cold."

"I am not coming down

with a cold."

Good.

It's the flu.

Look, if you feel that bad,

maybe you should go to bed.

No, no, no. I'll be okay.

Are you sure?

Honey, I'm perfectly capable

of taking care of myself.

Oh.

[SIGHS]

Would you put my feet up for me?

Sure, honey.

Oh. Is there anything else

I can do for you?

No. I'm just gonna

sit here and watch TV.

Oh, okay. You do that, dear.

Hey, can you hand me

the remote control?

Look, I gotta get back

to the office.

I hope you feel better.

You're not gonna leave me alone?

I'll be back as soon as I can,

I promise.

Oh, besides,

Rick will be home soon.

Good. I like Rick.

Unless he stops off at Burger's.

He can't stop off at Burger's.

I'm sick.

Hey, it's General

Know-It-All himself.

Very funny, Brad.

What did Burton want?

Burton has decided to enforce

the school rule.

And if a player fails a test,

you can't play a varsity sport.

So?

So Bronco may not

be playing Saturday, guys.

They can't do that.

Yeah, Saturday's game

is for the championship.

Without Bronco,

we're sunk.

Bummer.

It's worse than that.

He wants me to tutor him.

Wait. What'd you say?

I said Burton wants me

to help Bronco

study for the test.

What are we getting

so upset about, guys?

We got General Patton himself

to tutor the Bronc.

Yeah. That means

the championship is in the bag.

No, I wouldn't say--

Did you hear that, everybody?

Brad, don't.

Thanks to Rick here,

we're gonna be the Long Island

football champs.

Let's hear it

for Rick Stratton, huh?

Hip, hip...

Hey Bronco.

[CROWD CHATTER]

Hey. Yo, Stratton.

Yeah, Bronco.

Mr., uh, Burton says you're

gonna tutor me in history.

Yeah,

you know I'm gonna try.

What time am I supposed to

show up at your house?

Let's say .

You got it.

World w*r II, here we come.

Yeah. Yeah, right.

And Bronco, we're gonna

start in with Mussolini.

Hey, let him get his own tutor,

you're all mine.

Yeah right, and Bronco, see ya.

We'll talk about it tonight.

Okay, teach.

Just remember, Rick,

if Bronco doesn't pass the test,

we don't win the championship.

That's right.

That whole school

is counting on you, Rick.

At last,

we're gonna have something

to put in our trophy case.

Yeah, Stratton's head

if he messes up.

Kate!

I made you

some nice soft-boiled eggs.

Soft-boiled eggs?

And some nice dry toast.

Now if you need anything,

I'll be right inside.

Kate.

Hmm?

Can I have a cup of tea?

Oh. Sure.

With two tea bags?

Two tea bags? Of course.

And could you put it

in my Mickey Mantle mug?

Fine.

Kate!

What?!

And a cookie?

Of course, sweetheart.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Kate!

Kate!

I got it!

Dad, you know

you shouldn't be up.

Hey teach.

Hey Bronc.

So you're the local luminary?

Lumi-what?

Yo, Bronco, this is my father.

Oh, hello, Mr. Stratton.

You look terrible.

Thank you, Bronco.

But no,

I don't wanna give germs

to the Buckaroo's leading scorer

before the big game.

Oh, hey, that's okay.

I never get sick.

I had a St. Bernard like that.

I'm going to bed.

Rick, would you tell Kate

to bring my tea

and my special mug upstairs?

You're Mickey Mantle mug?

Yeah. And Rick,

tell her not to forget

my cookie.

Okay, Dad.

I like you.

So Bronco, are you ready

to hit the old books?

Why not? There's not much else

I can do with 'em.

Oh, come on, Bronco,

that's not a very good attitude.

I can't help it.

The only test I ever passed

was my physical.

Hey, where's

my number one patient?

He went to bed.

Kate, I want you to meet Bronco.

EDWARD:

Kate!

Excuse me,

I'm the only nurse on duty.

Hey,

that's a good-looking nurse.

No, you see, Bronco,

Kate is my stepmother.

Why'd she say she was a nurse?

You see, my Dad

isn't feeling well, and she's...

Never mind.

Okay, Bronco let's begin.

Now why don't you tell me

what you know

about World w*r II?

Well,

it came after World w*r I.

Okay. That's a start.

Um, let me ask you

a few more general questions.

Oh, you mean

like General Patton?

Yeah, like General Patton.

What do you know

about General Patton?

Well,

he was a real tough general.

And, uh, he wore

these pearl-handled revolvers.

Go on.

And, uh, he sh*t a plane down

with a g*n.

Good.

He slapped a soldier.

Yeah, and then?

The movie ended.

[♪♪♪]

Okay, Bronco, the name of the

country Germany invaded first?

Um, uh, the name of the country

that Germany invaded first

is a country that is known

for many things,

including being the country

that Germany invaded first.

You have no idea, do you?

None.

Look, Bronco,

we're running out of time.

We've been studying for three

nights, the test is tomorrow.

Oh, what's the use, Rick?

I'm never gonna get it.

If it's not football,

I can't learn it.

[CHUCKLES]

I'm beginning to agree with...

Hey, hold on a minute.

Yo Bronco, I-I've been

going at this all wrong.

No wonder I'm not

learning anything.

Look, look, Bronco, help me

put that table on the sofa.

Sure.

What are we doing?

We're having a little

history lesson, football style.

Now look, the field

you're playing on is Europe.

That's a big field.

Yeah, you're not kidding.

You're Germany,

and you're on the offense.

You've already wiped out

Austria and Czechoslovakia.

I did?

They didn't even show up.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, you mean they forfeited.

Yeah, yeah,

you could say that.

You're playing Poland,

and they got a lot

of school spirit,

but they're no match

for Germany.

That's because we've got spikes

on our helmets.

Bronco,

that was World w*r I.

They're no match

because they're undersized.

Then I'll stick to the ground

att*ck, roll right over you.

Blue , , , set, hut, hut.

Good. Good.

That's exactly what Germany did,

except they weren't so rough.

That's called a Blitzkrieg.

Oh, the Blitz.

That's when you rush in

extra guys before they know it.

That's right. Only they

were tanks, and you win.

Hey, hey, I'm starting to like

history, who do I play next?

France. And this time,

it's the playoffs.

Please, be careful with that.

I never fumble.

Ha, I'm gonna roll

right over you again.

No, not this time,

because I've got a great defense

called the Maginot Line.

Oh!

Come on, say it.

Maginot Line.

Good. Good. I mean,

this is really a line, Bronco.

I mean, fortified tunnels,

concrete walls, big g*ns.

Bronco, these guys

are immovable.

Then there's only one way.

What?

The old end run.

Yes, yes. Only first,

you gotta slip by Denmark,

then you break a tackle

on Holland,

then you side-arm Belgium,

into the secondary, France,

into Paris...

Touchdown!

All right!

[♪♪♪]

If I didn't see it with my own

eyes, I wouldn't believe it.

Hey guys.

Hey, way to go.

Brad, come on,

I've been tutoring.

You did it, Rick.

You mean Bronco passed?

Hey, he didn't just pass,

he got a hundred.

A hundred?

He got an A.

Hey guys, how'd we do?

[STUDENTS CHATTERING]

There it is, a hundred.

Stratton... .

[BELL RINGS]

[CLASS SAYS GOODBYES]

Hey partner.

We did it, huh?

Bronco, a hundred?

Yeah, ha, ha.

You could've gotten a hundred

too, if you were as lucky as me.

Bronco,

what do you mean lucky?

Ha, ha, I just happened

to be looking

through Mr. Burton's

wastebasket,

and I found a copy of the

questions to the history test.

What?

Talk about luck, huh?

But Bronco, that's cheating.

Shh!

Not so loud, you think I want

the whole school to know?

Yeah, but Bronc--

I gotta get to practice.

We're gonna win

the championship.

Yeah, Bronco,

what if someone finds out?

Who's gonna tell? Ha, ha.

[♪♪♪]

Hi, Dad.

Hi, son. How did it go?

Did Bronco pass?

Pass? He got a hundred.

Out of what?

Out of a hundred.

Well, Rick, that's terrific.

I guess it was worth

an antique vase.

There's just one little thing,

Dad.

What's that?

See, Bronco didn't get a hundred

because of my help.

He cheated.

That's a pretty serious

accusation.

Do you have any proof?

He told me.

That's pretty good proof.

Dad, I don't know what to do.

What if the teacher finds out?

This teacher's name wouldn't be

Mr. Burton, by any chance?

Yeah, why?

He called about an hour ago,

and wants to see you

before class tomorrow.

You see, Dad, he's gotta know

that Bronco cheated.

And I bet you

he thinks I helped him cheat.

You didn't.

Of course I didn't.

But what do I do if Burton asks

if I know about the cheating?

You're not gonna help Bronco

any by covering up for him.

Dad, it's not that simple.

See, if I tell Burton, he'll

keep Bronco out of the game,

we'll lose the championship,

and the kids will blame me.

What's the worst

that could happen?

They hang you in effigy?

No, they could hang me

in person.

[♪♪♪]

Hey, Rick.

You got the call too, huh?

Yeah, I got the call.

Yo, Bronco, why did you do it?

You were really beginning

to learn about World w*r II.

You knew the names

of some of the battles,

some of the generals,

even some of the countries.

You know Bronco, if they

asked the right questions,

with a little bit of luck, you

could've gotten at least a D.

You're just saying that.

Bronco, we're in big trouble.

Why? Maybe Burton

just wants to congratulate us.

Gentlemen.

Cheaters never win

and winners never cheat.

Sit.

All right, I'm gonna ask this

question once, and once only.

I wanna take

a make-up exam.

BURTON & RICK:

What?!

I wanna take the test over.

Well, this is a first,

I've never had a student

get a hundred on an exam

and ask to take it over.

Uh, Mr. Burton,

I think Bronco here

wants to clear up any

lingering doubts in your mind

as to the validity of his grade.

Yeah, I want to, uh,

do what he said.

You know, I think

it's an excellent idea.

How about an oral exam?

If he did pass, it certainly

could get me off the hook.

You remember what happened last

year during basketball playoffs?

When everyone was mad at you

for not letting

our star center play?

Yeah, the obscene phone calls

were bad enough,

but then when they let the air

out of my tire...

Some kids are really dumb.

What kids? It was the teachers.

So Bronco can take

the make-up test?

He can take the make-up test.

All right!

All right, ready,

Mr. Fontaine?

Hit me with your best sh*t.

Yes.

All right, question number one.

Who was the German commander

of the Africa Corps?

The offensive coach.

Easy, that was Rommel.

[CHUCKLES]

All right.

How about the Administer

of Propaganda?

The what?

The head cheerleader.

Joseph Goebbels.

Excellent. Excellent. Now...

Let's move on

to the Battle of the Bulge.

Great, the Super Bowl.

Blue , , hike...

ALL [CHANTING]:

We're number one.

We're number one.

We're number one...

Hey, cokes for everyone.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

I-I just wanna say thanks

to my tutor, Rick Stratton.

Without him, I never could've

gone from a hundred on my test

all the way to a .

Thanks, Bronco.

Listen, Rick,

I want you to have this.

Yeah, but Bronco,

this is the game ball.

They gave it to you for scoring

five touchdowns.

Ah, keep it. I'll be getting

lots more when I go to Harvard.

Hey group.

Look at this, Dad.

Bronco gave me the game ball.

Congratulations to both of you.

Hey thanks. You sure look

a lot better, Mr. Stratton.

Sure feel a lot better.

KATE:

Edward!

Mrs. Stratton doesn't.

Coming, honey.

I'm bringing you

some nice soft-boiled eggs.

And some nice dry toast.

You know, you're a really good

history teacher, Rick.

Thanks.

Um. How are you at biology?

Good. Are you kidding, great.

It's my favorite subject.

Oh, so, um, maybe you'd be

free for a session, then?

You bet.

Great.

Bronco. Bronco, honey.

Rick said he'd be happy to tutor

you in biology.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]