05x21 - Pardon My French

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are

Face to face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hoping to find

We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Making a go

Making it grow ♪

♪ Together

We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together

Taking the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things

You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons

Together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

[♪♪♪]

What do you think is taking

your father so long?

Maybe he stopped on the way

over to ruin a competitor.

He really hates to take time

away from business.

Well, he took time off

to visit Paris.

He wasn't visiting, Kate.

He was trying to buy it.

[DOORBELL CHIMING]

Ah, that's him.

Hi, Mrs. Stratton.

Oh, hi, Chrissy. Rick!

Hi, Chrissy!

Hello, Mr. Stratton.

Hey, Chrissy! What's up?

I need to talk to you...alone.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Why don't we go

into the kitchen?

I'll make some fresh coffee.

I couldn't have said it better.

Well-- Come on in.

Have a seat.

No, thanks.

I won't be staying that long.

Here.

I won't be needing this ring.

Why are you giving me back

my friendship ring?

Because we're not

going steady anymore.

Why not?

Please, don't make this

any more difficult.

Chrissy, what did I do?

Well, if you have to ask...

Of course I have to ask.

How else will I know?

Aah, that is so typically male.

What are you talking about?

I knew you wouldn't understand.

That was quick.

What happened?

I haven't got

the slightest idea.

Dad, I'm almost , and I

still don't understand women.

Welcome to the club.

[DOORBELL CHIMING]

Hey! See? She back.

Hey, Grandfather!

So did you have

a good time in Paris?

Oui.

Edward, Kate.

Father.

Phillip,

put down those parcels.

Ooh, what in the world

is all this?

A few trinkets from Paris.

Shall I wait

in the limo?

Can you think of a better place?

I'll wait in the limo.

Well, Father, can I

take your, er, hat?

No need, no need.

Richard, bring in the loot.

You really shouldn't have.

Oh, yeah, Grandfather.

You really shouldn't have.

Which one is mine?

Let's see what I got here.

Hey! Ha-ha.

Two for one sale?

In France,

all the men wear them.

Go ahead. Try it on.

[CHUCKLES]

No woman will be able

to resist you.

He hasn't met Chrissy yet.

Uh, Father, to make you

feel at home,

we opened a bottle

of French wine.

Yes.

Here's to your return

to America.

A votre santé.

I know what that means.

We learned it in French.

That means to your health.

They told me it meant

down the hatch.

Now, aren't you two

going to open your presents?

Let me see here.

Aha! A back scratcher.

These are very big in France,

you know.

[IN FRENCH ACCENT]

You scratch my back,

I will scratch yours.

Amusing.

[GASPS]

Oh!

[WHISTLES]

It's beautiful!

Thank you.

Don't you want to try it on?

Why, Grandfather!

[RICK LAUGHS]

There'll be

a private showing later.

Very private and much later.

[LAUGHS]

Well, I'm glad you all

enjoyed your presents.

I want you to be my guests

this evening.

The Café Versailles.

Oh, what is the occasion?

Do you need an occasion to live?

I'll send the limo around .

Grandfather,

am I invited too?

No, Rick.

It's a school night.

Oh, nonsense.

You only live once.

Au revoir.

Bye-bye.

Au revoir.

Goodbye.

Thank you again.

He's acting very strangely.

He's just in a good mood.

That's what I mean.

[LIGHT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]

Here you are, Monsieur Stratton,

your guests.

Thank you, Jean Paul.

Good evening, Grandfather.

Good evening, Father.

Hey, Grandfather.

Well, well, well,

this is quite a layout.

Yes. It's very elegant.

I'm glad you like it.

This is the best nightclub

I've ever been to.

The only nightclub.

Bonsoir,

Monsieur Stratton.

Nice to see you again.

Thank you, Pierre.

Father,

if I didn't know any better,

I'd think

you owned this place.

I do.

So that's why we're here.

[PLAYING INTRO]

And now ladies and gentlemen,

the Club Versailles

is proud to present

that Paris Queen: Jacqueline!

[APPLAUSE]

♪ I'd love to fall asleep ♪

♪ And wake up in the arms ♪

♪ Of someone

I've been dreaming of ♪

♪ When I turn out my light ♪

♪ That's what I prayed

Each night ♪

♪ To every shining star above ♪

♪ I knew you'd come along ♪

♪ To make my life a song ♪

♪ Just like an angel

From above ♪

♪ I'd love to fall asleep ♪

♪ And wake up in your arms ♪

♪ The arms of the one I love ♪

[CONTINUES SINGING IN FRENCH]

[IN ENGLISH]

♪ I knew you'd come along ♪

♪ To make my life a song ♪

♪ Just like an angel

From above ♪

♪ I'd love to fall asleep ♪

♪ And wake up in your arms ♪

♪ The arms ♪

♪ Of the one I ♪

♪ Love ♪

[APPLAUSE]

Well--

She's very good.

She's terrific.

Yeah. I liked

that French part too.

Whatever she said.

Jacqueline, this is Edward,

my son.

Edwaar.

His wife, Kate.

Cat.

And my grandson, Richard.

Rickee!

This is Jacqueline,

my fiancée!

[GIGGLES]

[♪♪♪]

Well, leave it to my father

to keep us waiting.

If they're not here soon,

Jacqueline be late for her show.

I really don't like any of this.

Not even my clam balls?

Honey,

not your hors d'oeurves.

This Jacqueline

and my father business.

I think it's ridiculous.

He's in love. Didn't you see

the gleam in his eyes?

I saw the gleam in her eyes.

I think she's after his money.

Oh, how can you say that?

Easy, honey. There are women

like that all over the world.

And most of them

have French accents.

Will you stop that?

I mean, that's ridiculous.

I mean, Jacqueline seems

like a very nice person.

I think she's adorable.

I'd be adorable too, if somebody

bought me a nightclub.

Ricky,

you're not even dressed yet?

Oh, Kate, if it's all right

with you,

I'll just spend the night

in my room, okay?

No luck with Chrissy?

Well, I just spoke to her

on the phone.

So she talked to you.

Yeah. She said,

"Don't call anymore."

[DOORBELL CHIMING]

Oh, I'll get it.

Ah, America!

The doors open by themselves.

How are you, Cat?

Oh, I'm fine, thank you.

Uh, it's Kate.

I like Cat.

Nice to see you again, Edwaar.

Yes. Nice to see you.

Rickee.

How are you, Rickee?

All right, I guess. Excuse me.

He's not feeling well?

Oh, he'll be fine.

Please, come in.

So, uh, where's my father?

Eddie had to go

to a business meeting.

He will join us later.

Well, while we wait for Eddie,

is there anything you'd like

to know about him?

His habits? His quirks?

His bad investments?

So, uh, how are you enjoying

your singing engagement?

Not as much

as my real engagement.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Ah, he's such a cute man.

He never stops making jokes.

My father?

So many people his age

are what you call grouchos.

Grouches.

That's what I said, grouchos.

Uh, Jacqueline,

may I call you Jacqueline?

Of course. It's my only name.

You don't have a last name?

I used to, but I drop it

a long time ago.

But don't worry.

I will soon have a new one.

[BOTH LAUGH]

That's, uh, kinda what I

wanted to talk to you about.

Uh, will you excuse me,

Jacqueline?

I'll go see how the petit fours

are doing.

I like your wife.

The men in your family

marry very well.

Well...

So Edwaar,

what are you so afraid about?

[SCOFFING]

Afraid? I'm not afraid.

Oh, Edwaar!

All right,

I am a little worried.

Uh, Jacqueline, see,

my father isn't exactly a kid.

Who is?

Well,

he's been alone a long time.

He's kinda set in his ways.

But he's so charming,

so debonair.

Such a bon vivant.

He reminds me a lot

of my father, only older.

That's what I mean.

You should see him

stomping the grapes...

making the wine.

My father?

No. Mine.

You see, Edwaar,

I really believe that men

take many more years to mature.

To ripen. To become...

How you say in America? Juicy.

I don't think

I want to hear about this.

Uh, look, Jacqueline,

what I'm trying to say

is that

when it comes to love--

Aah. Come on.

I'll make a bet you know

all about love, huh, Edwaar?

[CHUCKLES]

Even if you are a little young.

Well, yeah, I-- Yeah.

Like father, like son?

Yeah. I guess it's all

in the genes, huh?

You mean in the pants?

No, no, no. In the--

In the genes.

You know, passed down

from generation to generation.

Exactomo!

And Rickee will get it from you.

Yeah, probably, yeah.

But Rickee

is having a little problem

with his girlfriend right now.

Oh?

So that's why he was so down

in the face?

Well, it's just a lover's spat.

Well, if she spat at him,

it must be serious.

No, no. She didn't actually--

Where is he?

He's in his room.

I'll go to talk to him.

Don't go away.

I'll be right back.

Yeah, but I-I didn't--

Say what I wanted to say.

Honey.

Where's Jacqueline?

Upstairs with Rick.

Those French women

are really something.

But Rickee, you have to realize

a woman likes

to feel special.

Jacqueline, she's not a woman.

I mean, she's .

She is a woman.

We are all women.

From the time we start to walk,

we are women.

Well,

she does walk like a woman.

Let me tell you a little story,

Rickee.

When I was your age,

I was madly in love

with a young man.

He even looked like you.

Except that his eyes

were brown,

his hair was black

and he was only this tall.

A spitting image, huh?

So much spitting

in this country.

Anyway,

one day he stop talking to me.

Just like Chrissy did.

Mm-hm. Well, that's when I

discovered that,

in matters of the heart,

you must not be afraid

to make a fool of yourself.

Oh, I'm good at that.

Ha-ha. A sense of humor.

Women like that.

But what they really like

is a man who is not afraid

to reach into his heart

to tear it out

and to throw it at her feet.

They sure want a lot.

That is just the beginning.

Now,

if you want to get Chrissy back,

this is what you must do.

Wait, wait.

Let me get a piece of paper.

Get a notebook.

[♪♪♪]

Well,

now I'm starting to worry.

Oh, I'm sure he'll be here

any moment.

Unless, of course,

he forgot.

Edward!

[DOORBELL CHIMING]

See?

May I?

Of course.

Sorry I'm late, kids.

We were worried.

What kind of a meeting

did you go to?

I did not go to a meeting.

Eddee. Your first lie.

I did a little shopping.

So that makes it official.

Voila!

I think I am going to cry.

I told you.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

I feel exactly the same way...

I think.

How do you feel about all this,

Edward?

Well, I suppose I should say

congratulations.

When is the big date?

The sooner the better.

There is no rush, Eddee.

She's right, you know.

There's no rush.

What are you talking about?

I'm .

There's a rush.

Now, where is my grandson?

He's visiting a girlfriend.

Ah. Chasser les femmes, huh?

Mm-hm. Like grandfather,

like grandson.

And what is that

supposed to mean?

You know exactly what that

is supposed to mean!

Uh, Jacqueline, would you like

to get some fresh air

out on the terrace?

With pleasure.

Uh, what is the French word

for "terrace"?

Terrace.

Edward,

is something troubling you?

Troubling me?

You think Jacqueline

is too young for me?

No.

You think

I'm too old for her?

No.

You think she's after me

for my money?

Yes.

Well, you're wrong.

Jacqueline happens to have

all the money she needs.

She also owns a nightclub

in Paris.

She does?

Edward,

let me remind you of something.

When you and Kate

decided to get married,

I was against it.

That's right. But we went ahead

and got married anyway.

And how did the marriage

work out?

Great! Perfect!

I rest my case.

I have a terrace

like this in Paris.

It overlooks a duck pond.

I envy you French so much.

You have no duck in America?

No. I mean, um...

you're so worldly

about affairs of the heart.

When it comes to romance, you

seem to have all the answers.

Ah, yes. Next to perfume,

it is our biggest export.

[BOTH LAUGH]

I understand you had a nice talk

with Rick.

Very nice talk, yes.

He is so in love

he wants to die.

Is not life wonderful?

GRANDFATHER:

Jacqueline! Kate!

Will you come in here, please!

What's wrong?

Who do you think

is going to be my best man?

[BOTH LAUGH]

So will you join us

in a glass of champagne?

Will there be enough room?

Eddie, do you think we will

be as happy as they are?

Happier.

No matter what it costs.

Ah, and to Jacqueline,

welcome to the family.

Ah, yes.

Merci, Edwaar.

Hey, what's the special

occasion?

We're just celebrating a bit.

Look.

Sacré Bleu!

Did everything work out

with you and Chrissy?

No.

You did not use my plan?

Yes. On her best friend Jodie

who was over visiting.

I'm in love again.

[ALL LAUGH]

L'amour, toujours l'amour.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]