[♪♪♪]
♪ Here we are, face to face ♪
♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪
♪ Hopin' to find
We're two of a kind ♪
♪ Making a go
Making it grow ♪
♪ Together
We're gonna find our way ♪
♪ Together
Taking the time each day ♪
♪ To learn all about ♪
♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪
♪ Two silver spoons together ♪
♪ You and I... ♪
♪ Together ♪
♪ We're gonna find our way ♪
♪ You and I... ♪
♪ Together ♪
♪ We're gonna find our way ♪
♪ We're gonna find our way ♪
♪ Together ♪
[♪♪♪]
Miami.
Sure looks beautiful,
huh?
Look at the color
of that water.
Look at
that beach.
Look at
those bikinis.
[EXHALES]
What a great college.
And I can just picture us
lying on the beach
all semester long.
Yeah. I look so good
with a tan.
Me too.
Alfonso, are you sure you can't
go to a college with us?
Yeah.
I wish I could,
but my Uncle Dexter says
[IMITATES DEXTER]
"It's Harvard or nothing.
Disgusting."
Bummer. All you can get there
is a good education.
Well, all this fun in the sun
is kinda making me thirsty.
I'm gonna get us some Cokes.
Hey, you want anything, Fons?
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Pfft. How about a new uncle?
Hey, hey, bud.
How goes the college search?
Make any decisions?
Well, we narrowed it down
to Hawaii and Miami.
You know, Rick, you might
want to consider a college
that has a little more to offer
than luaus and surfing.
Dad, wait a minute.
All through high school,
you told me
to get good grades.
That way, I'd go
into college and have fun.
Well, yeah, there's nothing
wrong with having fun.
Good. And besides, Dad,
didn't you tell me
I could pick
my own college?
Well, yeah, but that's when
I thought you were gonna pick
Whitley College.
Oh. Dad, not this again.
Whitley is the dullest school
on the East Coast.
It's an all-male college.
What's the matter
with an all-male college?
It's a fine school,
Rick.
Now, I'm not
asking you to sign up
without
checking it out.
Come on. They're having
an open house next weekend.
You can go up there
for a couple of days,
look the place over.
[SIGHS]
No, thanks, Dad.
Rick, if you go
to Whitley,
you're gonna be better
prepared for your future.
[GROANS SOFTLY]
You'll make friends you'll have
the rest of your life.
You'll be better able
to take advantage
of your full potential.
[GROANS]
And...
...you'll be driving
around campus...
...in this.
A Porsche!
You get into Whitley,
you get into this.
Well, y-- You know--
You know, Dad,
I-I've always wanted to
realize my full potential.
[CHUCKLES]
Gosh, you're getting smarter
already, aren't you?
Yeah.
Hey, uh, Dad,
let me have
that brochure on Whitley.
Oh, sure.
I'm just gonna show it to Brad.
Oh, of course, I understand.
And Rick, remember...
[IMITATES CAR SPEEDING]
Edward Stratton.
You offered Rick a Porsche
to go to Whitley?
Well, honey, I...
That's a bribe!
Kate, it's not a bribe!
It's an inducement.
It's an incentive.
Okay, it's a bribe.
I thought we agreed
to encourage Rick
to pick
his own school.
Yeah,
and he was picking schools
where the only majors
they have
are volleyball and chugalug.
You're exaggerating.
Oh, honey, I don't want him
to waste his years at college
the way I did.
Out every night,
chasing after women, heh.
You wouldn't believe
some of the things I did.
Like what?
I don't remember.
Oh, boy. Look at that time, huh.
I've got to, uh...
KATE:
Oh, no, you don't! You're
not getting off that easy!
Come on now.
Who wants to go to
Whitley College?
I'd rather get a rash.
Brad, we have to be
adult about this.
I mean, don't you want to
realize your full potential?
Hey, if you guys
go to Whitley,
you won't be too far
from Harvard.
He's right. And Harvard
has a lot of pretty girls.
Yeah, but all of them
are smart,
and my stuff doesn't work
on smart girls.
[♪♪♪]
Uh, now, did you--
Did you pack a toothbrush?
Yes, Kate.
Extra underwear?
Why? He's only gonna
be here for two days.
Okay, maybe we should
get a motel room nearby--
Kate,
you can't stay.
Do you see any other
parents around here?
He's right, honey.
Let's go.
Oh. Okay.
Well,
be careful, Rick.
I will, Kate.
Nothing is gonna happen.
[SCOFFS]
You can count on it.
Goodbye, Rick.
Goodbye, Brad.
Well, see you, Dad.
See you, son.
Now this is
a good college,
and I want you to make
a good impression, huh?
And remember:
[IMITATES CAR SPEEDING]
[CHUCKLES]
I can't believe I let you
talk me into coming here.
This place looks like
a breeding ground for nerds.
Oh, come on, Brad.
This place isn't that bad.
Hi. Isn't this place
splendid?
Gentlemen.
Gentlemen, may I have
your attention, please?
Hello. I'm Dean Stockwell,
and I'd like to welcome you
to Whitley College.
I'm sure you're all going
to enjoy this special weekend.
This is an opportunity
for you to look us over,
and for us
to look you over.
[ALL LAUGHING]
Any question?
Yes.
Yeah. Uh, where are
all the girls?
[ALL LAUGHING]
I'm sorry, but this is
an all-male school.
However,
we do have women attending
the all-girls school
down the street,
Mount Saint Ignatius.
Are there
any other questions?
Yes?
How far down the street?
About a mile.
Any other questions?
Yes?
Are any of them
worth walking a mile for?
Since there doesn't seem
to be any other questions,
I'm going to turn you over
to our resident advisor
in the dorm, Charles Bitterman.
[APPLAUDING]
Gentlemen. Gentlemen.
Gentlemen. Just...
Just a few rules
for the weekend.
First of all,
we will all eat together
in the campus cafeteria.
Second, the dorms will be
locked at precisely p.m.
And third, we will have
an orientation meeting
tomorrow morning at
a.m. sharp.
Now, are there
any more questions?
Yeah.
Do you hang a left or a right
to get to Mount Saint Ignatius?
[♪♪♪]
So, what happened
to your friend, Rick?
He didn't have dinner
with us.
Um, I-I really don't know.
He kinda disappeared
halfway through
the tour of the library.
Ooh, don't tell me he missed
the card catalog lecture.
It was
so stimulating.
[RICK SIGHS]
So, Rick, why don't you
come up to our place
to watch a PBS special?
[NASALLY]
Gee, guys,
I'm kind of bushed, you know.
I'm just gonna take a shower
and go to bed.
BOY:
Oh...
Well, okay. We'll tell you
about it tomorrow.
Yeah.
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Thanks, guys, heh.
Goodbye.
BOTH: Bye.
Why am I here?
[CHUCKLES]
Now I remember.
[SIGHS]
Uh, come on in, guys.
Well, this is it.
Home sweet home.
Whoa!
So this is what
a Whitley room looks like.
You mean you've never
been here before?
I was under
the bleachers once.
Really?
Hey, guys.
Girls!
Told you
he was bright.
Ah!
Bonnie, Sherry,
this is Rick.
BOTH:
Hi.
Hello.
Are you nuts, Brad?
You know the rules.
No women are allowed.
Wow.
I think you're cute.
Oh, yeah?
Ooh!
I like your towel.
Bonnie and Sherry go to school
down the street.
Ah, so, you girls go to
Mount Saint Ignatius, huh?
No way!
They're from LBC.
Ah, LBC.
What school is that?
Larry's Beauty College.
Ah.
Larry's Beauty College?
Yeah.
We get a degree
in six easy weeks.
Yeah, they gave me
a free shampoo.
Smell.
I don't wanna smell.
Hey, we could give you
a freebie too.
[CHUCKLES]
Uh, no... No, thanks.
Brad, come here.
Brad, we're gonna get
into trouble.
Yeah.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
I just want to make sure
you fellas are...
Women.
In your dorm room?
You guys better have
a good explanation for this.
Hey, you want
a good explanation?
Well, you'll get
a good explanation.
Good.
Tell him, Rick.
[♪♪♪]
Um...
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
Um...
Yeah, you see,
these girls here
were-were taking orders
for Girl Scout Cookies.
[CHUCKLES]
Girl Scout Cookies.
Now, come on, fellas.
You don't expect me to believe
that story, do you?
I mean, after all,
what do I look like?
Don't say it.
All right, look,
how about this?
Come on, Brad.
We've been caught.
I mean, look,
we're men enough
to own up to the truth,
aren't we?
You're right.
They're our wives.
No, no, no.
C-come on, come on,
come on, fellas.
You got your chips.
You got your dips.
You got your cold drinks here.
You guys
are having a party.
Well--
No, no, no, no--
That's right, and you've
got everything here
except the music.
I'll go get my stereo.
Who would have ever figured him
to be a human being?
Hey, you want us
to call a girlfriend?
Hey,
why stop at one?
Okay!
Hi, Charles says
you're having a...
Oh, my goodness.
Hi. What's your name?
Uh...
Spencer.
Oh.
Well, Spence,
the party hasn't started yet,
but while we're waiting,
I could give you a freebie.
Oh, my goodness.
[♪♪♪]
So do you think Rick will like
Whitley enough to apply?
Of course he will.
Wouldn't you,
if your father bribed you
with a brand new Porsche?
You bribed him with
a Porsche?
Well, I...
Edward, that's terrible.
I hope Alfonso
doesn't find out.
All I promised him
was a Mazda.
Listen to you two!
Do you realize
what you're doing?
Honey, he's got to go
to college for four years.
Why not a good one
like Whitley?
Well, for one thing,
it's an all-men's college.
I mean, that is not
the kind of school
for a boy like Rick.
I mean, I could just see him
up there this weekend,
moping around,
having a miserable time.
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
♪ All the old paintings
On the tombs ♪
♪ They do the sand dance
Don't you know? ♪
♪ If they move too quick ♪
[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
♪ They're falling down
Like a domino ♪
Uh... Just-just--
Just one second.
♪ By the Nile
They got the money... ♪
Hey, guy,
come on in here.
Here you go.
Hello, my name is
Rick Stratton,
and this is...
[CLEARS THROAT]
...everybody.
♪ ...way-oh
Oh-way-oh-ay-oh ♪
All right,
send up another one!
Wait, is this music too, um,
you know, fast
for anyone else?
ALL:
Yeah!
All right.
[MUSIC STOPS]
[CHUCKLES]
[SLOW MUSIC PLAYING]
Now, where were we?
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
[SIGHS]
Yello.
Hey, Rick!
Dad.
Dad!
Hello, Dad.
Wh-what a surprise.
Yeah, well, we were just sitting
around, talking about you,
and kinda wondering
how you're doing.
Oh, Dad,
I'm doing just fine.
So you think
you can get anything
out of going to
that college?
Oh. Oh, yeah, Dad.
Without even half trying.
Well, good. Here.
Now, Kate wants to say hi.
Hi, Rick.
Now, tell me
the truth.
Does it bother you that
there aren't any girls around?
Not a bit, Kate.
KATE:
Oh. So, they're
keeping you pretty busy.
Oh, sure. I...
I've got my hands full, Kate.
Well, you do sound tired.
You better get right to bed.
Hello?
Did you drop the phone?
Oh. All right.
Uh, goodnight, Rick.
All right. I admit it.
He sounded happy.
Good.
I hope Alfonso's
college experience
is as much
a turn-on as Rick's.
Now, where were we?
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Who is it?
DEAN STOCKWELL:
Dean Stockwell.
Oh, it can't be
Dean Stockwell.
Charles says it can't be
Dean Stockwell.
DEAN STOCKWELL:
It is.
I just come by
for a little visit.
[MUSIC STOPS]
Oh, great.
Just great.
[RICK CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Hello, sir.
Hello, Richard.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Well, sir, what-what-what
can I do for ya?
Well, I'd like to come in.
Have a little chat.
[STAMMERING]
You know, my room
is such a mess.
Oh, I've seen messes before,
heh, heh.
Not like this one.
Well, the whole purpose
of this weekend
is for us to get to know
one another.
[CHUCKLES]
CHARLES:
You can take my word for it,
the faculty will be with you
every step of the way.
And then
in our senior year,
you see, things get
really exciting.
It's just like
one exam after another.
Oh! Well, hello, there,
Dean Stockwell.
I was just giving
the potential students here
a little rundown on academic
life here at Whitley College.
Excellent!
Well, oh, my, my,
would you look at that time.
I guess
I'd better get going.
Yeah. Me too.
Ditto!
Well, sit down, Richard.
Let's talk.
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT]
[GIRL MOANS]
What was that?
Um... I-I-I just said...
[YAWNS LOUDLY]
Man, I'm bushed, heh.
You know, walking around
this great, big campus
of yours, heh.
[CHUCKLING]
Oh, well, I'm glad you like it.
Did you know
our campus was designed
by Thomas Jefferson?
[GASPS]
Really? That is interesting.
Rick, isn't that interesting?
Oh, that's immensely
interesting, sir.
Oh, yes. The history of this
campus is a fascinating story.
The original surveying
was done by
George Washington himself
back in .
Now, the property
had been purchased
from the Seneca Indians
for something considerably...
...less than today's
market prices.
[CHUCKLES]
Now, the campus buildings
were erected in ,
except for this new building,
which was built in --
[WINDOW THUDS]
What was that?
[BLOWS AIR]
Well, it's just
so chilly in here,
I decided
to close the window.
Oh, good idea.
We've been having problems
because of open windows.
Oh, do you mean burglars?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Nothing like that.
There's so much ivy climbing
the walls
that we've been having problems
with mice.
[GIRLS SHRIEKING]
[SHRIEKS]
[♪♪♪]
What happened?
What happened?
Let him tell you
what happened.
Rick,
what happened?
Tell her.
Go on, tell her.
Kate--
I'll tell you what happened.
He got kicked out
of Whitley College.
How could you get kicked out
of college before you get in?
Tell her. Go on, tell her.
How could you get kicked out?
Well--
I'll tell you
how he got kicked out.
He had girls
in his dorm room.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
He had
a golden opportunity
to attend one of the best
universities in this country,
and he blew it.
He let Whitley College down.
You let us down.
You let yourself down.
Does this mean
I don't get the Porsche?
Uh, Edward, uh, I think
you're being unrealistic
to expect Rick to spend
four years in some monastery.
She's got a point, Dad.
Yeah. And Rick,
you're being unrealistic,
thinking you can spend four
years in some party school.
She's got a point,
Rick.
But there has got to be
a compromise.
Now, Rick will
pick out a school
that offers
a good education
and offers
some occasional fun.
Right?
Sounds fair.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
All right,
and I'll tell you what,
you do get yourself
into a college
that has a more
well-rounded curriculum,
and it's within
driving distance...
Yeah?
You've got yourself a nice,
used Chevy.
[IMITATES ENGINE
WHIRRING AND SPUTTERING]
[LAUGHS]
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
05x22 - Educating Rick
Watch/Buy Amazon
Wealthy, young-at-heart business owner and playboy Edward Stratton III is stunned to discover his brief marriage several years ago produced a son, Richard who is now 12 and wanting to live with him.
Wealthy, young-at-heart business owner and playboy Edward Stratton III is stunned to discover his brief marriage several years ago produced a son, Richard who is now 12 and wanting to live with him.