04x02 - Carpe Diem

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RUMMAGING AROUND

SIEGFRIED: Where is it?

Where are you?

HE SIGHS

SIEGFRIED GRUNTS

TRILLS LIPS

Once more unto the bag.

What have you lost?
Suture kit!

Jacket pocket?
No!

I mean, how am I supposed to find
anything in...?

In the car?

Where's James? He should know.
Well, surgery's started.

KNOCKS ON DOOR

James, have you...?
GOAT BLEATS

Siegfried!
What on Earth...?!

God! Sorry, Mrs Stokes.
James!

PHONE RINGING

Ladies.
What are you...?

Ladies, ladies, out of there!

BLEATING
Open the door.

Ladies.

No, sir, that must be an oversight.

Yeah. I'll make sure we pay it
as soon as possible. Thank you.

It's a right mess in there.

No, no, no. Dispensary.
James, you all right?

Not in there. Hither!

Not the lunch.
Oh, 'eck, my ironing.

Come on, ladies, come on.

That's it.
BLEATING

No, no, not in there.
Not in my pantry!

James, grab her. Grab her!
Got you!

CLATTERING

I'm so sorry.

Not your fault.
Come here.

DOGS BARKING

Ooh. Get down from there.

DOGS BARKING

As I was saying, Mrs Stokes,

keep her legs dry
and apply this twice a day. Aye.

This is a small animal surgery.
I know.

These are goats. Why are they here?

Yeah, well, Betty's got mud rash,

and she won't go anywhere
without Hilda.

So, Hilda's having a day out?
Aye.

MRS STOKES CHUCKLES

We got a lift down to Darrowby
with my neighbour.

The girls loved riding on that cart,
didn't you?

SIEGFRIED CLEARS
HIS THROAT

Will you excuse me, Mrs Stokes?
Yeah.

What were you thinking?

You said we should ask owners
to bring animals in if they could.

Yes, yes, I didn't mean goats.
What did you mean? I meant...

DOORBELL RINGS
..use your judgement.

Look at this.

It was full yesterday.
Come in. It cost a fortune.

You can't have used it all up
on one goat.

Or did you give Hilda
a good dusting, too,

so she wouldn't feel left out?!

I...
KNOCKING ON DOOR

Mr Cargill called.
Chasing payment for his invoice.

We're up to our eyes in farm visits,
we're drowning in paperwork,

and you're chucking expensive
wound powder around like confetti.

The goats knocked it over
when you charged in.

I suppose we're lucky
Mrs Stokes doesn't have a cow!

What were you doing anyway?!
And I don't charge in!

What did you want?!
A suture kit!

SIEGFRIED GROANS

They're having a right ding-dong.
SHE CHUCKLES

We'll send your bill,
end of the month.

Well, there's no need,
I'll settle up now.

First prize in t'Women's Institute.

Best autumn preserve.
Thank you.

What's this?
A hoof Kn*fe. MY hoof Kn*fe!

Well, if you leave things
lying around...

Perhaps instead of
an equipment cupboard

we should bury things in the garden.
Worth a try.

Who knows?
Sorry, are you waiting...?

Maybe that's where I'll find
my bloody suture kit.

Excuse me.

I can hear every word out there.
You're gonna have to keep it down.

Mr Farnon.

Miss, erm...

Harbottle.
Yes, of course. I'm so sorry.

I've been wrestling goats.

They seem to have won.

CHUCKLES

Miss Harbottle and I met at
the Farmers' Union dance last week.

The foxtrot.

BOTH: Carpe diem.

You told me to call.

So I did!
So I'm here.

To discuss your offer.

You need someone to take over
the administrative burden,

leaving you free to concentrate
on your veterinary work.

Miss Harbottle, I couldn't
have said it better myself.

SHE CHUCKLES
I think that was...

what you said.
And what I said was...

"Bringing order to chaos
is my speciality."

You're in the middle
of lambing season,

you must be exhausted.

Especially without your brother
to help.

Frankly, it's a wonder
you've been able to manage at all.

Yes, I suppose it is.

Have you come far?

Oh, from Broughton.

I've just finished at Henshaw's,
the feed merchants.

Oh.
Secretary...

clerk and assistant to the manager.

Mr Farnon,
perhaps you could show me around.

Yes, of course.
Excuse me, Mrs Hall.

Er, this is...
James!

..Mrs Herriot and Mr Herriot.

Ah. Yes, the junior partner.

Hello.
How do you do?

We have two treatment rooms...
for small animals.

But the majority of your practice
is farm animals?

Made harder now because
so many farms are shorthanded. Mm.

And you're blazing a trail...
with your TB testing, as I recall.

Yes. It's-It's very much
a joint effort.

Shall we?

Ah! One of our brochures.

Our second treatment room.
Ah-ha! Suture kit!

PHONE RINGS
Oh. Well done!

MRS HALL: Darrowby - - - .

Oh, hello, Mr Dakin.

Dispensary.
Oh, not again.

Poor Blossom. No, you...

you can't leave her like that,
can you?

Ah.

My office.
SHE SIGHS

I'm afraid paperwork rather has
the upper hand, at the moment.

As does everything else.

What's that?
That is Vonolel.

Hello.
VONOLEL SQUEAKING

You know that rats
are as intelligent as dogs.

Aren't you? Yes.

And very affectionate.

Where's your cash box?

Oh. We just, erm...

stuff it all in here, you know.
Hm.

You just stuff it?
Mm.

You go out, and you leave that money
there day after day.

Well, it's never come to any harm
before.

How about your petty cash?

It's all in there -
petty and otherwise.

In my experience, Mr Farnon,

what's needed to transform even
the most shambolic of businesses

are a few particular changes...

with the right person
to implement them.

Mr Farnon.

Cow's got a torn udder.
Mr Dakin?

Tell him I'll be up
as soon as I can.

Already have.
I've seen all I need.

I'm going to get started right away.

Terms as agreed.

Hm?
You have a cow to attend to,

I need to get this place shipshape.

Now, where's your appointment book?
Er...

Oh. Excellent.

Oh. Thank you, Mrs Hall.

Now, any queries I have,
I shall record it on one of these.

And I...

I shall keep it here
for addressing at your leisure.

Splendid idea, Miss Harbottle.

Thank you, Mr Farnon.

Look, calm down
before you talk to him.

Why didn't you ask me?!
You weren't there.

At the farmers' ball?

I didn't realise
we were handing out jobs (!)

Oh, carpe diem.
Quam minimum credula postero.

Oh, that explains it, then (!)
What will she do?

Save us from
this paperwork apocalypse,

rescue us from
our administrative quagmire.

Is it really that bad?

How many invoices have you sent out
in the last month?

Er...
Exactly.

We have suppliers calling daily.
We have to do something, James.

You could use
an extra pair of hands.

Miss Harbottle's not a vet,
that's what we're missing.

The point is,
she'll allow us to be vets.

Maybe he's right. Maybe she can
sort things out in there.

I doubt she knows what she's in for.

She's just dazzled by the Latin
and the foxtrot.

If she can get the better
of that paperwork,

I'll spin her
round the dance floor myself.

You will not.

Well, she's 'ere now.

Morning, Mr Dakin.
Only just. You took your time.

Worth coming up for the view.
Always lifts the spirits.

Aye. Well, views don't pay bills,

and you can't see much
when it rains.

Hello. Poor Blossom.

Let's see how bad it is this time.

Ah, it's a right mess again.
Another cow trod on her.

COW MOOS
Shh, shh, shh.

Yes, well, a sharp cow's hoof
can do a great deal of damage.

I speak from bitter experience.

Blossom's never kicked anybody
in her life.

It's up to you, but...

..this is the third time
I've come out to stitch her up,

and I'm afraid
it's going to keep on happening.

A low udder comes with age,
and Blossom's getting on.

Oldest one here.

Apart from me.
She's still worth a penny or two.

She doesn't owe me anything.

It might cost more to keep her going
than she brings in.

I'm just thinking of your business,
Mr Dakin.

You think she should go, then?

Well, if there's nowt else for it,

I'll get young Jack at Mallock's
to come and pick her up.

Listen, I'll sew her up again,
so she's not in pain.

There's no charge.

I'll get you some hot water.
Thank you.

James! I'm going to the farm.

Drovers later?

I'd love that.
Ahem!

Mr Herriot!

Miss Harbottle.
Erm...

Who's handwriting is this?
Mr Farnon's.

And this?
Same.

Oh.

I've had a go
at his paperwork before.

Good luck.

See you later.

The accent, Paisley?

Aye. You?

Dumbarton Road.
Oh!

Now, solving Siegfried,
Mrs Hall says there's an art to it.

I think of it more as code breaking.

Makes it more exciting.

Oh, that is a tricky one.
KNOCK AT DOOR

Granular something?
No, that's a D.

GERALD: Hello?
In here!

Gerald.
I've been up the allotment.

Oh!

Oh!

Ooh, this is Miss Harbottle.

She's just joined us.
How d'you do?

Mr Hall.

Oh, no, I-I'm Gerald Hammond.

Mr Hammond is a friend.
Oh!

I assumed...

Glandular!

It's glandular fever.

Thank you.
Come on, Rock.

DOGS BARK

You still wanna go to
the pictures Friday?

A Girl Must Live.

That's the film.

Oh, sorry. Yes. I do.

I didn't, er...
know there was someone new.

Nor me. One of Mr Farnon's ideas.

Oh. One of those.

Well...

Till Friday.

DOG BARKS
Come on, Rock.

Out we go.

Hello.

How's she getting on?
The belle of the farmers' ball.

Ah, she's been at it all day
and barely made a dent.

SHE SNORTS

TODDLER BABBLES

What you got there?
Benjamin!

Ahh, that's good.

You're not supposed to be in here.

I know what you're thinking.

You must be thinking it, too.

We said we'd wait.
I know.

I'm just not sure
what we're waiting for.

It could all be over soon.
It could go on for years.

Oh, sorry to keep you.
Hello.

The usual?
Please.

You heard anything more
from Tristan?

A couple of letters.
Mostly smutty cartoons.

It's amazing
how he can wind up Siegfried

from hundreds of miles away.
THEY CHUCKLE

I reckon they'll all be home soon.

If it wasn't for the ration books
and the victory gardens,

you'd have no idea there's a w*r on.

CLOCK TICKS

Oh! Miss Harbottle.

How have you found
the herculean task

of tackling our paperwork?

Invoices.

I'll pop them in the post
on my way home. You're a wonder.

And if you could
take a look at these.

Scout's honour.

Good evening, Mr Farnon.
Good evening.

EXHALES

DOOR OPENS,
CLOSES

All rights, ladies and germs,
sorry, gentlemen.

It's the moment
you've all been waiting for.

Is it gonna be your lucky day?
Because it is ferret roulette!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

The coat is going down,
the ferret's going in,

but where's he gonna come out?
That's the big question.

Place your bets,
ladies and gentlemen,

while I retrieve our little star
from his dressing room.

It's the pride of Yorkshire,
here is the ferret!

CHEERING

He's gonna go in, here he goes.
Oh, go on, Maggie.

Oh, brave bet, thank you very much.

OK, he's going in. Here he goes.

ALL CHEER AND SHOUT

Oh, no, is he getting to the bottom?

Yes, there he goes.
SHOUTING CONTINUES

Yes, is it gonna be that one,
is it gonna be that one?

Is it gonna be that one?
Where's he gonna come out?

There we are,
we're gonna see it right now.

SHOUTING CONTINUES

'Ey, where's he going?

ALL: Ohh!

ALL: Aww!

I did not know
there was a hole in the pocket.

SHE GIGGLES

Not bad.
Rum?

Did you train him to do that?
No!

Pure luck.
SHE GIGGLES

Hello!

Don't worry, he's a gent,
he'd never bite a lady.

What about a vet?

Well, I don't know about that.

Oh, he's beautiful.

Yeah, he's best of t'lot.

If you want rats catching
or rabbits, there's none better.

Aw.
He's very friendly.

They are, if you treat them right.
I've had ferrets all my life.

My dad brought a polecat over
with him for the rats on the ships.

A polecat?
Yeah.

Bred 'em with Yorkshire ferrets,
made them stronger.

Hybrid vigour.
Yeah.

What's his name?
Wilf. Aw!

Hello, Wilf.

Oh, he's got a lump here.

Oh, well. Doesn't seem to hurt him.

Ferrets get nipped all t'time.
A bit of salt water'll sort it out.

Doesn't look like a bite.

Bring him over to the surgery,
we'll take a look.

You can see him now.

We'll give him an anaesthetic,
make him sleep.

Operate on the lump.
We'll remove it if we need to.

You'd do all that for a ferret?

Of course.

Thank you.

Ferret roulette. Man's a genius.

Thank you, driver.

Good morning.
Good morning. Morning.

Ah, you... you're... there.

It sends the right message
to the clients, I think.

You've moved things.

Oh, a place for everything,
and everything in its place.

How was your visit to Mr Dakin
yesterday?

Er, a simple job.

A cow's udder needed stitching.
I shall prepare an invoice now.

Oh, no need.
Has he paid you already?

Hand me the money,
and I'll balance the books.

Yes...

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

I have taken the liberty
of starting a cash box.

Petty and otherwise.

All transactions can be recorded
in here, legibly.

I sometimes dip into the jug
when I'm a bit short.

Oh...

I shouldn't, really.

I assume Mr Dakin has paid you
in cash and not rhubarb jam?

I must've spent it.

Mr Farnon, what does the good
of my trying to keep

an accurate account
of the money in this practice

if you do not respect my methods?

SHE HUFFS

Now... there's something else
I want to discuss.

Every cancelled or rearranged
appointment costs you money.

Animals are unpredictable.
But people less so.

Your clients
are extremely predictable

when it comes to paying their bills.

They're late every time,
if they pay them at all. Mm.

But it's not just jam, Mr Farnon.

I have found references,
as far as I can read them,

to sausages, honey,

a crate of beer...
This is a farming community.

Now and again,
we get gifts in lieu of fees.

How do you enter THEM
in the balance sheets? Hm?

We... twiddle things about a bit.

Have you tried the jam?

If we ask the clients for a small
fee when an animal is booked in,

just to secure the appointment...
I really don't think...

..we wouldn't be asking them
to pay more, just pay better,

and preferably in cash.

If you want an efficient system,

you must be prepared
to accept change.

It is nothing to be afraid of.

After all, you cannot make
an omelette without breaking eggs.

I just don't think our clients...
Mr Farnon!

It pains me to see
a man of your talents,

forward thinking, full of vigour,

be held back
by antiquated practices.

I am here to help you.

We'll give it a go. A trial run.

Leave it with me.
Thank you, Mr Farnon!

Oh, erm, one more thing.

I think the rat
would be better somewhere else.

I don't want to upset it... him.

Oh, he's not upset.
He likes company.

I'd like more space.
Ah! Erm...

Hello.

There.

Now he's out of the way, and he
can still see what you're doing.

Happy?

KNOCKING AT DOOR

James, you couldn't lend me
a few bob, could you?

I'm doing a lecture for the Young
Farmers. They're a thirsty lot.

Is the pint jug empty?

Miss Harbottle's
put it all in a box.

Are things not going quite as
smoothly as you planned, Siegfried?

Of course they are!
It's an excellent system.

So you're happy
with all the changes, then?

Well, why shouldn't I be?

After all, you can't make
an omelette without breaking eggs.

Well, if it's too much trouble...
Ahem!

COINS JINGLE

Thanks, old chap.

Miss Harbottle might take
some getting used to,

but I think she's just what we need.

DOOR OPENS
Hector, please.

Hello, Hector. Come on in, boy.

Come in.

Veterinary said
to make an appointment.

Hm. This way.

How are you, Joe?

An appointment for...
Wilf, my ferret.

SHE GASPS,
CHUCKLES

I meant your name.
Oh. Mm-hm.

Joe Coney.

Coney.
As in rabbit. C-O...

Yes, thank you.
I know how to spell it.

Course, it's not my real name.

Which is?
Joe Di Gervanacum.

SOFTLY: Best stick with Coney, eh?

Mr Herriot said he'd be needing
a surgical appointment

with an anaesthetic.

Mm. We'll need a deposit, Mr Coney.

Eh?

Half a crown, deductible
from the cost of treatment.

Well, I in't got cash,
but it's your lucky day.

I have summat much better.

Oh, good Lord.

What's the matter? Oh, you want
to meet you skin it for you?

Please would you kindly
get that thing away from me.

Mr Coney.
Hey.

You never said owt
about half a crown. I'm sorry?

All clients must make a deposit
to receive an appointment.

Didn't Mr Farnon mention this
to you?

Just book him in,
and we'll discuss the details later.

No money, no appointment.

It's all right.

SOFTLY: I wouldn't take one
if you paid me.

In veterinary practice,
the animal comes first. Always.

In my book, obedience to rules
is the mother of all success.

DOOR SLAMS

What's this about paying
to book an appointment?

It's just a trial.

So can I book Joe Coney's ferret in
without a deposit?

If you must.
Miss Harbottle says I can't.

You see...
Mr Dakin telephoned.

Not Blossom again?
A cleansing.

Oh, it's a different cow.
So, can this wait?

No, it can't.
Mr Farnon has a farm call.

Mr Farnon and I were in the middle
of a conversation. Excuse me.

Who's in charge here,
you and me or Miss Harbottle?

Oh, that is ridiculous.

We need to build trust with
our clients, not scare them away.

We need a functioning business.
We're not just any business.

We're vets.

If you have more blinding insights,
they'll have to wait.

Not only does she not seem
to care for animals,

she's putting them at risk.

Whatever personal animus
you may have against Miss Harbottle,

I suggest you set it aside
for the good of the practice.

This can't be what you want!

Look, we're all missing Trist,
but this, it's madness!

Look, all I'm saying is...

whatever it is you're trying to fix,
Miss Harbottle is not the answer.

Hello, Blossom. How are you?

SHOUTS: In here!

The scar looks good. Do you want me
to take the stitches out?

Don't matter.
She's off to t'knackers.

Just waiting for Jack
to come and pick her up.

Are you gonna wait around all day?

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

You've got room
for a few more calves in here.

Suckling calves need milk.
I sell all mine.

COW MOOS

It would be an investment.

Too much work at my age,
lugging buckets of milk around.

VAN BEEPS
Oh, that'll be Jack.

This the one?
Aye.

She must be nearly as old as you.
HE LAUGHS

Don't hit her!

She'll go wherever you want,
always has done.

And shut the gate.

Now, aye, our Blossom.
Not your fault, eh?

Goodbye, old girl.

Come on, then.

I remember the night she was born.

Snow coming down hard.

I put a sack over her
to keep her warm.

I picked her up, help her stand.

She never made a fuss.

She's always been a gentle soul
has Blossom.

And I wouldn't like to count

the thousands of gallons of milk
she gave.

She still gives four a day.

No...

She don't owe me a thing.

Wait!

You said suckling calves
are too much work,

but Blossom's got plenty of milk.

Put her in there by herself.

With no cows standing on her,
she'd live like royalty.

What's to do, Dakin?

Am I taking this cow or not?

No, she's staying here.

I fear I've misled you, Mr Dakin.
Oh.

You saw there was a problem,
Mr Farnon,

and you came up with an answer.

Just wasn't the right one.

Come on, Blossom. Aye, Come on.
BLOSSOM MOOS

SHE SIGHS

You going out?
Pictures. I'm late.

Is everything all right?

Miss Harbottle and I
have had a polite disagreement.

About what?
Vonolel.

Where is he?
I insisted he stay in the warm.

Where is he?!

Sorry, old chap.

This won't do at all.

Is it a comedy?

Yeah, and it's got
Margaret Lockwood in it.

THEY CHUCKLE

Violet creams.
You're spoiling me.

Before we go in,
there's something I wanted to say.

It's been on my mind,
and I wanted you to know.

When Ms Harbottle mistook you
for my husband...

It was a simple mistake.

Well, I didn't know what to say.
I'm sorry.

You've nothing to apologise for.

Now, this is your evening off...

let's make the most of it.

NARRATOR:
German g*ns tried to achieve

what n*zi bombers failed to do.

From the French coast, high-velocity
g*ns bombard our shipping.

DOOR OPENS
MRS HALL: In you go. There you are.

Yes. In you go.

Oh, you were out late.

How are the Young Farmers?

Their devotion to
the brewing industry is admirable.

The Women's Institute do lectures.
No-one gets drunk.

Good thing, too,
they're formidable enough sober.

Mrs Hall, I'd like your advice.

Erm...

It could be argued that
I'm not one readily to admit

when I've made a mistake.

I've heard it said.

Miss Harbottle's convinced
that she's right about everything.

I don't think she'll accept
there's a problem.

How does one handle
someone like that?

First... be kind.

It's not her fault
you offered her a job.

Be kind.

But be honest. She's not daft.

Be kind, be honest.

That's exactly what I had in mind.
Thank you.

I'll speak to her tonight.
Except the longer you wait...

Quite right. Best do it now.

Be kind, be honest.

Miss Harbottle, I wanted to say...

I wanted to tell you...

Miss Harbottle.
Good morning.

I wanted to tell you
how very grateful I am

for all the work you've put in here.

You've done so much
in such a short space of time.

Thank you.

You came aboard a rudderless vessel
and steered us

between the Scylla and Charybdis
of chaos and debt.

You're too kind.

All of which is to say...

Please, your embarrassing me.

In truth, I relish challenges,

and I look forward to staying
as long as the practice needs me.

Oh, and, Mr Farnon...

When you have a moment...

It's like some kind of sorcery.

So she doesn't know
she's been let go?

A spectacular derailment.
What was?

He tried to give Miss Harbottle
the boot. You did?

I had a Damascene moment
after you and I last spoke.

So, what went wrong?
Suaviter in modo, fortiter in re.

The iron hand in the velvet glove.

Looks like I'm treating Wilf
in The Drovers, then.

No, this is a veterinary practice.

Whatever happens,
the animal must come first.

So what do you suggest?

WHISPERS: Bring the ferret in
tonight after six,

when Miss Harbottle's gone home.

I'll tell Joe.

Well, he may need some persuading.

Hi, Joe.
What do you want?

You should never have been treated
like you were. I'm really sorry.

It weren't your fault.
I want to help Wilf.

Could you bring him by the surgery
just after six?

Will she be there, Miss La-di-da?

It'll just be me and Mr Farnon,
don't worry.

They'll look after Wilf,
and you as well.

There's always an ale or two
on offer at Skeldale.

Go on, Joe. We'll come wi' you.
Aye.

I think it would be better
if Joe came alone.

No. I'll come if we can all come.

Are you getting them in?
Top rum?

Aye. Aye. Look after Dash for me.

DOG BARKS

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Oh!

Mrs Herriot.

Have you seen Mr Farnon?

Afraid not.

Hmm... I was really hoping
to see him before I went.

No matter.

I'm sure I will see him tomorrow.

Good night.
Good night.

Good night.
Good night.

The bird has flown.
SIEGFRIED: Thank you.

HE HUMS

She's gone.

Are you sure?
Positive.

So, are we ready, then?

As we'll ever be.

Eh, Wilf? Oh, God.

THEY SHOUT
Wilf!

Give up. Give up.

Oh, God, hang on. Ah!

Come on.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the first thing we're going to do

is a biopsy of the growth,

like coring an apple, take a look,
and depending on the results,

remove the lump in some way.

A lumpectomy, so to speak.

The suffix "ectomy" is a Latin
version of the Greek "ectomia",

a cutting out of.

HE CLEARS THROAT
Right, let's get on with it.

Now that the animal
is anaesthetised,

we'll shave the area
around the lump

and then use this
to find out what's inside.

Depending on what we find,
we'll either drain it

or make an incision
and then scrape it...

HE GROANS
..or cut it out.

WHISPERS: Siegfried.
What?

THUD,
SHE GASPS

SIEGFRIED SIGHS

Right. Help me get him out.

We know it's not an abscess.

We know it's not a cyst either.

Yes, I don't like the look of that.

Let's make sure we get it all out.

Feeling better?

Is it over? Is he all right?

It's a good job you brought him in
when you did.

Any longer, and I think
we'd have seen some metastases.

In English.

The operation was a success.
What operation?

I forgot to take the post.

You went behind my back.

Mr Farnon,
you have undermined my authority.

An authority
I should never have surrendered.

You, I am sorry to say,
Mr Farnon, are...

disorganised,
erratic and irresponsible.

And you are ignoring
the fact that we're vets.

We put animals before profits.

Your ambition and talent
are unquestioned, Miss Harbottle.

But this is not a place for you.

I'm afraid I'll have to let you go.

You can't sack me, Mr Farnon.

Why not?
Because I resign.

I see.

Perhaps...

we should have left it
at the foxtrot.

DOOR OPENS

DOOR CLOSES

CHATTER

Here we are, Joe.

Thanks, Mr Herriot, Mr Farnon.
Don't mention it.

Let me settle up with you.

Don't worry about it, Joe.
We had a whip-round earlier.

Your mate said it was worth it

to watch you keel over
like a sack of spuds.

THEY LAUGH
Are you sure?

Cos I've half a dozen rabbits
out back if you'd rather...

That's quite all right, Joe,
thank you.

Usual for you all?
I'll get these. Least I can do.

I realise I've made
everyone's lives a bit miserable.

Thank you, Siegfried.

I hope you're not planning on
using those.

I'll pay it back.

If not in cash, then in labour.

DOG BARKS
Dash!

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Did Uncle Herriot forget you?
No.

Maybe.

Come on.
Let's get you a pork pie.

Poor Siegfried.

"Carpe diem" kind of bit him
in the bum, didn't it?

I don't know.

Maybe it wasn't
such a terrible idea.

Miss Harbottle?
No. Carpe diem.

I've been thinking
about what you said...

and I'm starting to think
that we should...

..carpe some diem.

Are you saying what
I think you're saying?

If you want to start a family...

You know I do.
Me too.

Well, then...

Shall we...
Get cracking?

I was trying to think of something
a bit more romantic.