01x08 - Misadventures in Babysitting

[bunniefuu]

Honey, don't let that cloth get too close to that burner.

I know, Mother.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I know you're not a small child.

Hello? Oh, hey, Debbie.

Well, if you can't baby
-sit tomorrow night you can't baby
-sit.

No, I'm not angry at you for calling me last minute.

Okay.

Bye
-bye.

Why is Mom mad at the meat? Oh, hi, honey.

How was practice? Zachary Greenwald accidentally fell on a sprinkler head and had to stitches.

It was really cool.

And Matt came very close to actually kicking the ball.

Didn't you, champ? Oh, yeah.

"No way.

" Oh, Debbie Gotchalk called.

She can't baby
-sit tomorrow night.

Well, is there someone else we can get? Oh, oh, don't get that Olivia Skivin.

She makes us listen to county
-western non
-stop.

Not Mrs.

Harvey.

She smells dead.

We're not going for Tammy up the street cause she makes more an hour than I do.

No way we're going with Mrs.

Jaffey.

Who lets a ten
-year
-old boy drink an entire quart of maple syrup? I liked her.

Well, we've got to find somebody.

Well, I was thinking I was thinking, maybe I could Baby
-sit? Honey, we've talked about this.

You know, we just think You're too young.

No.

When will I be old enough to trust? When I'm 50? Maybe.

We'll see.

Where's Mrs.

Doubtfire when you need her? Dad, no Hmm this isn't cheese, is it? It's candle wax.

Season 1 Episode 8 Misadventures in Babysitting If you believe, we've got a picture
-perfect plan.

We've got you fooled.

'Cause we only do the best we can.

And sometimes we make it.

And sometimes we fake it.

But we get one step closer each and every day.

We'll figure it out on the way.

Lizzie McGuire S01E08 Misadventures of Babysitting I think the perfect town would be 500 Hot Topic stores and a ten
-story shopping mall.

"Design a model community, including housing hospitals, schools, and police and fire department.

" "Police and fire department.

" "Housing, hospitals and schools.

" We'll call it Boringville, U.

S.

A.

Where do they come up with these moronic assignments? The Moronic Assignment, Study Guide.

It's, like, this thick.

Let me guess.

That's how tall Tom Cruise is.

Oh, Tom Cruise isn't short.

He just has small bones.

Okay, Gordo
-
-imagine you live in a boring suburb where all the houses look alike and everybody's predictable.

I do live in a boring suburb where all the houses look alike and everyone is predictable.

Thank you.

Okay, but if you could pick any business you wanted on Main Street, what would it be? A bookstore containing the works of Navajo and Greek philosophers a coffeehouse where people only discussed music and politics a thousand
-foot water slide ending in a swim
-up counter where they serve free deep
-fried pizza and Tyra Banks would be the Mayor.

I've given this a lot of thought.

Hey, Gordo, do you know where the nearest Software Shack is? Yeah.

It's over on Collins Street.

Would they have that software that designs cities and towns and stuff? You mean CyberTown Maker? They should.

Okay.

Kate, we're supposed to do this assignment ourselves.

Whatever.

You're supposed to use your imagination not have some computer do it for you.

Gordo, why didn't you tell me there was a program like that? Well, it cost 60 bucks.

I don't think you can afford it.

Hello! I baby
-sat twice last week.

But my nails are wet.

Kate baby
-sits? Since when does Kate baby
-sit? Oh, why don't they just make her Queen of the World and be done with it.

Baby
-sitting sounds like a pretty sweet gig.

Why don't you do it? I don't baby
-sit.

I get baby
-sat.

And plus, baby
-sitting jobs are hard to get.

Parents want to make sure you're "mature enough.

" Well, I guess Kate sort of does give off some visual signals, which imply a biologically nurturing capability.

We get it, Gordo.

She's stacked.

Yes yes, she is.

I don't get it.

I mean, I'm just the same age as Kate.

I'm just as mature as she is.

I'm responsible.

And I want to baby
-sit! Absolutely not.

But Kate Sanders baby
-sits.

She does? No.

Uh, I
-I mean, she she does, huh? Yes.

And you haven't found a sitter for tonight.

And you expect me to ride a bus to school all by myself.

Why can't you trust me to baby
-sit? Hmm I think I'm getting a nibble here.

Maybe she has a point.

And Miranda can help me.

She watches her baby sister after school.

Sweetheart, you're just not ready yet.

This is a big responsibility.

You've always told me I can do anything if I set my mind to it, honey.

And I've set my mind to this.

I can do it.

We do say that, Sam.

Ooh, I'm really getting a nibble here.

But Matt can be quite a handful.

Matt! What would you do if Lizzie baby
-sat you? I don't know.

Watch TV, I guess.

Thank you for the help, pal.

All right, maybe we can give this a try.

Thanks, Dad.

It means a lot to me that you can trust me.

I'll do a great job.

Okay, the Coco Rocks box will be City Hall.

I just ate the Mayor.

It'll go right there.

Lizzie, I added some numbers to the emergency phone list.

Also, I've moved all the cleaners out from under the kitchen sink.

And whatever you do do not open the door for anybody.

And I won't follow the trail of bread crumbs to the Gingerbread Witches' house.

Dad, don't worry.

Hey, Gordo.

Hi, Mrs.

McGuire.

My parents said I could come over if that's okay with you.

Oh, sure.

But Lizzie and Miranda are baby
-sitting Matt so I don't know how much fun you're going to have.

Oh, I know.

I'm not about fun.

I'm about the green.


-Lizzie?
-Money.

I'm going to earn my money indoor sitting on a sofa eating someone else's popcorn.

Hey, that's mine.

Lizzie, Matt's bedtime is 9 o'clock.

Yes, Dad, I know.

Dad, listen, everything's under control.

I've got it all handled, okay? Okay, now, both our cell phones are charged and we're trusting you, Lizzie.

Whoa, can I hear that again? Both our cell phones are charged? No, no, no.

The other part.

We're trusting you.

Yeah, that.

Ta
-dah! After 13 years
-
- trust.

Thanks, Dad.

Wow, for the first time in my life, I'm in charge.

I'm the ranking adult in the house.

I'm Queen of the World! Alone at last.

I don't see why you have to muscle in on baby
-sitting, Gordo.

This is how we make money.

Why should girls have a monopoly on baby
-sitting? Because boys have a monopoly on burping the Pledge of Allegiance.

We deserve some kind of monopoly.

Hey, I love that game.

I want to be the race car.

Tough luck.

You're going to watch Willy Wonka.

I've seen that ten times.

I want to be the race car.

Well, we've got homework.

If you'll be patient we'll maybe play later, okay? All right.

Race car, race car, race car, race car.

Anyone got any ideas? Sorry.

I got nothing.

Race car! Race car! There you go, Mr.

and Mrs.

McGuire.

Your regular table.

Thank you, Mrs.

Shin.

Haven't seen you since the Year of the Tiger.

Yeah, well, it's really hard to get a reliable baby
-sitter.

Well, glad to have you back.

I'll be back with some wontons.

Thank you.

Sam, would you please relax? It's one night out; Lizzie can handle it.

I mean it.

Everything's going to be fine.

This had better come out of the carpet, Matt.

What'd you give him grape juice for? I told you ginger ale.

At least ginger ale isn't purple.

Grape juice was the only thing that would shut him up.

He won't do a thing you say.

Matt go upstairs change your shirt and get cleaned up now.

No.

See? Zip it.

Why should I? He won't.

Matt, starting right now you do everything I tell you or I'll tell Mom and Dad.

Nuh
-uh.

You want Mom and Dad to think you're a good baby
-sitter so you're going to say things went great.

Then I'll squash you like a bug instead.

Then I'll tell Mom and Dad.

Face it.

I'm in charge here.

No.

I am in charge here.

Matt, what do you say we go upstairs
-and find you a clean shirt?
-Okay.

How come he does what you say Well, I'm an older male.

He's impressed by me.

Well, I'm in charge here and he's supposed to do what I say, not what you say.

Who cares who says to do it.

He needs a new shirt.

He's as sticky as the floor of a movie theater.

Matt, don't lean there! I'm stuck.

Get up Matt! Gosh, it is so nice being out just the two of us, for a change.

Yep.

Nice.

Sam? Hmm? You're turning your chopsticks into toothpicks.

Want to settle down? You're fidgeting.

No, I'm not.

Okay, look, I just think it was a mistake leaving Lizzie in charge.

She's only 13.

Yeah, well, she's 13, but, I mean she never gets in trouble at school.

She gets there and back all by herself.

I think she's the only one in the house who knows how to make the picture
-in
-picture work.

Yeah, but she sleeps until noon on the weekends.

She uses the picture
-in
-picture to watch MTV and cartoons at the same time.

I got to go check on her.

No, you do not.

Do you know how much it meant to her that you trusted her? Okay, I'll tell you what.

I'll just sneak in, look in a window.

She'll never even know I'm there.

Okay.

If I let you go do you promise me that you'll come right back here and eat your meal in peace? Yeah.

Okay.

But she'd better not know you're there.


-I swear she will never forgive you.


-Okay And I won't forgive you till she does.

Look! It hold up newspaper.

Cut it out, Matt.

Look! It holds up Mom's cat calendar.

Gordo, can you get him to quit that? You're in charge, you do it Could you at least help? You didn't come here to watch TV on the couch.

Fine.

I'll watch TV in your room.


-Miranda, get me more paper towels.


-Pass.

I'm building a ten
-story shopping mall for Mirandaville.

Well, Mirandaville doesn't need a ten
-story shopping mall.

We need a hospital.

Fine.

I'll go drink some orange juice and make a mall out of that.

Fine! Nobody help me do anything.

Look! It holds up Dad's briefcase.

I'll just handle everything by myself.

Um I may need a little help here.

I hate it when Dad's right.

What's that? I'm scared.

Look at me
-
- I'm a monster! Ha, ha, ha, ha! I see dead people.

Cut it out, Matt.

Ugh! That stinks.

It's vanilla.

It's soothing.

Works like a charm.

Yuck! Who's burning garbage? I'm trying to get some light in here and if you're not going to help me, you can at least hush up.

Don't tell us to hush up.

We're not babies.

You're acting like babies.

It's a shame there isn't a decent baby
-sitter around.

I'm sure there'll be a decent baby
-sitter around next time 'cause I obviously can't handle it.

What was that? Do you think it's a burglar? Nah.

It
-it's probably just a raccoon.

They root around in in the trash and stuff.

Yeah, probably just a raccoon.

Let
-let's make noise just in case.

My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty Of thee I sing I
-I'm, I'm going to go and flip the circuit breaker so we can play some loud music.

Real music.


-Hello.


-What is taking so long? Ahh All the curtains are shut and I can't see in the house.

Okay.

Just get in there pretend you forgot your wallet,
-make sure they're okay and get right out.


-Gotcha.

What's wrong with your voice? Lawn gnome.

You think it went away, right? A raccoon wouldn't stick around through that racket.

A raccoon wouldn't do that either.

Kids, open up! It's me.

It is a burglar.

Matt! Lizzie! That ought to drive him away.

Lizzie! I'm really scared.

It's okay.

I'm not going to let anything happen to you, okay? We're going to call the police.

You know, I have a cousin¡ªknows how to treat a lady.

Oh, Mrs.

Shin, my husband didn't leave me.

I mean, he left me but, you know, he didn't leave me.

Oh, yeah, you're keeping your chin up.

Brave brave little soldier girl.

Hello.

It's me.

It's him.

I'm at home.

He knows that we're alone.

Come on, kids.

It's worse
-
- he's at the door.

You can baby
-sit for me anytime.

Let's get through tonight first, okay? Gordo, get the train Miranda fill the paint can with flour now.

Come on, come on.

That was some fast popsicle eating, Matt.

Thanks.

I have a major brain freeze.

Ha, ha, ha, ha! Dad?! You guys have to trust me.

You have no idea how much that hurts.

Oh, my gosh.

Your poor father.

We are so in trouble.

He was supposed to trust me.

Well, if he was spying on you and I admit it does look like he was, I think he suffered enough.

Sir, put your hands on your head and don't move.

I'm telling you, Officer, I live here.

My kids are inside.

I just came home to check on them.

Yes? Hello, young lady.

Is this man your father? I don't know.

Why would my father be sneaking around in the bushes late at night? Maybe that means he doesn't trust me.

Lizzie It's my father.

Good night, sir.

And by the way, your lawn gnome's broken.

You were supposed to trust me.

Yes, we were, and we didn't stick to our word and we were wrong.

They're admitting they were wrong? Ah! Call the news crew.

Film at 11:00.

It's not that I don't trust you, sweetheart.

I guess I still just think of you as the six
-year
-old girl that used to need me to chase the monsters out of her closet.

I guess I have to get used to the fact that you're not that little girl anymore.

You're becoming a young lady and I have to let you act like one.


-So, I can go on a real date?
-No.


-Will you teach me how to drive?
-No.


-Can I dye my hair?
-No.

Well, what can I do?
-You can baby
-sit Matt next Saturday night.


-Yeah.

So the more responsibility I ask for the more responsibility I get stuck with.

That stinks, I think.

Wow, for the first time in my life, I'm in charge.

I'm the ranking adult in the house.

I'm Queen of the World! Okay, we got it.