01x12 - Between a Rock and a Bra Place

[bunniefuu]

Is there some sort of rule that every time it's raining we have to play dodge ball? Must be in the gym teacher guide book.

Jennie Woods has a great arm.

She's like the Mike Tyson of dodge ball.

She didn't use to be that way, I mean she plays the oboe.

Oboe players aren't suppose to be violent.

It's the bra.

Ever since she started wearing one she's become a whole new person.

Kind of like someone else we know.

Clair and Kate get one and become popular.

Jennie Woods gets one and becomes Brandi Chastain.

If I had one I'd be Lizzie: Warrior Princess Lizzie's got game.

It's not like she even need one.

I mean we need one before Jennie does.

So why don't we have one? We should have one.

You're right.

We're thirteen, it should be a rule.

Ask your mom to give us a ride to the mall after school.

No way.

You ask yours.

I can't she's working.

Well, if we ask mine she'll go with us.

So, how 'bout we tell her we're shopping for school supplies.

Miranda, you know I'm not good at lying Then I'll lie.

She can just drop us off.

I guess that'll work.

A plan this simple has to work.

Ah! Ooh! I should have seen that one coming.

If you believe we've got a picture
-perfect plan We've got you fooled 'Cause we only do the best we can And sometimes we make it And sometimes we fake it But we get one step closer each and every day We'll figure it out on the way.

Lizzie McGuire S01E12 Between a Rock and a Bra Place Lizzie, is that you? What do I say? Yeah, Mrs.

McGuire, it's us.

Not a word to your mom about the bra.

We're going to the mall for school supplies.

Repeat after me: "school supplies.

" School supplies.

Okay School supplies.

School supplies.

Hey, Mrs.

McGuire.

Hi, Mom.

Hey, girls.

How was school? Fine.

So what's up? Nothing.

Uh, Lizzie, I have one more load of laundry to do and I was thinking I might throw Mr.

Snuggles in there because he's looking a little bit dingy.

Hello? Lizzie? Um I don't care what you do with Mr.

Snuggles.

Stuffed animals are for babies.

Give him to Matt.

But Mr.

Snuggles, you've had him since you were two.

He's, like, your favorite toy.

Was my favorite toy.

I don't need toys anymore.

I am an adult now.

We are adults now.

So, Mrs.

McGuire could we have a ride to the mall? Oh, well, sure.

What do you need? School supplies.

I'm a rock.

I'll never cr*ck.

School supplies, okay.

For what? School supplies.

Um, for a project.

Okay Hold that thought.

Hello? What was that? School supplies? Come on, lets go put our books in your room before you totally spill your guts.

See? I told you.

Jet Li is looking for a new sidekick for his newest movie.

The Untitled Jet Li Project.

What a great title.

Aren't you a little young for this? It says right here, "Ages ten and above.

" Honey, what do you think about this? "Your contest entry 'in the Jet Li Sidekick Sweepstakes ' can be a video, an essay or even an audiotape.

" I think it's a terrible idea.

I don't want him doing this.

Listen, he's not going win this so we don't have to tell him no
-
- someone else will.

Meanwhile, we get the credit for being really cool parents.

I think it's a great idea, honey.

Ow.

Son you okay? Son, listen, I think we're going to write the best essay this magazine's ever seen.

Essay? Well, you know, writing isn't my best subject.

No worries, son
-
- you're sitting with the guy who won a free trip to Washington, DC, in 1976 for his brilliant Bicentennial essay: "America
-
- It's More Than Just Amber Waves of Grain.

" Mmm it's great, Dad, yeah.

Great.

I'll get it.

Hey.

Y
-Y
-You can't be here.

And yet I am here.

Your mom said we were going to the mall.

Hi, Mrs.

McGuire.

Hey, Gordo.

Hey, Mrs.

McGuire, I called my mom
-
- she's cool with the mall thing.

Why are you here? I invited him.

When? When I just called.

I figured if you guys need school supplies for a project, so does Gordo.

Oh no, G
-Gordo doesn't need any school supplies.

What school project? You're not in that class.

But I'm in all your classes.

Except for gym.

Well, then that's it.

It's
-it's a very secret special gym project that only me and Miranda need to go shopping for.

Yeah.

What's the project, Lizzie? It's, um I asked Lizzie.

Oh w
-w
-w What do you need at the mall, Lizzie? I'd like to see a lawyer.

Lizzie tell me the truth.

I want a bra! Okay?! A bra! A bra! We want a bra! I want: a bra a bra a bra! Ew, that's disgusting.

Oh A bra? Isn't she kind of young for that? Absolutely not.

And I should have thought of this weeks ago.

What was I thinking? I would be delighted to take you girls shopping.

Let me get my purse.

M
-Mrs.

McGuire suddenly, I don't wanna go to the mall with you guys anymore.

That's okay.

You're uninvited.

Well, how about those, uh Mets, huh? Guys? I don't care.

I'm just glad we don't have to talk about bras anymore.

I
-I have to go home and do something.

Anything
-
- anything but this.

Uh, Gordo, maybe you could stick around and help us with Matt's contest entry.

Yeah I'm Jet Li's sidekick in his next movie.

I could go home and get my camera.

That's a great idea! All right, I'll be back in ten minutes.

Buddy I thought we were going to write an essay.

Dad let's call that Plan "B".

You cracked like an egg.

I got us here.

Yeah
-
- with your mom.

Can I help you two with something? Yeah, hi.

We are shopping for their first bras.

This is so cool.

Where's the Little Miss section? Over there by the footie pajamas.

Okay, great.

Thanks.

Come on, girls.

Mom do you think maybe we could be a little quieter about this? About what? Oh nothing.

Why doesn't she get her own talk show and broadcast it to the world.

Can we ditch her, please? No, but we can pretend to get lost.

Come on.

Come on.

Oh, excuse me.

Hi, Lizzie.

Miranda.

Mr.

Coppersmith.

No, not happening.

I am not running into my cute English teacher in the you
-know
-what department.

Shouldn't he be home handling grammar emergencies! I'm just buying a birthday present for my wife.

Hey, girls, I found some really cute things for you guys.

Hey, Mr.

Coppersmith.

Hi.

How are you doing?
-I'm good.

Good.


-Good to see you.

So, why don't you take these into the dressing room and try them on? Okay? W Let's go.

This has got to be enough to get me into the witness relocation program.

Where's Matt? Upstairs getting ready.

I got some interview questions for you.

"What's your name? "How old are you? Where do you go to school?" That is my absolute favorite.

These are some really great questions, Mr.

McGuire.

But, you know, there are some other ways we can go.

Looking good, Matt.

So what I was thinking is we sh**t a couple of cool establishing sh*ts: Matt raking in the Zen garden We don't have a Zen garden.

And what about my questions? Questions aren't very Boring.

Boring? Mr.

McGuire if Matt's going to win this thing, we need something big.

Something that's going to set his entry apart from the rest.

Okay, Gordo what would you suggest? I think we need to sh**t our own martial arts movie.

You are way too cool to be Lizzie's friend.

Okay, so getting lost didn't work.

What do we do? Well, we're supposed to be adults, right? So? So, tell her we want to shop alone.

If you're so adult, why don't you tell her? Are you insane? You tell her.

I'm not telling her.

Tell me what? Mom, I could have been changing.

Oh, honey, it's just us girls here.

No, it's not.

Well, here, I just brought you some more stuff to try on.

We can find things on our own.

Okay, I'm just trying to help.

We don't need your help.

Okay What do you need? We need you to leave us alone, okay? You're always going on about what little adults we are and when we try to act like adults you treat us like children.

We're not children, Okay? We're just not.

Okay.

Here's $40.

I'm going to be in the food court.

You come find me when you're all finished, okay? That wasn't exactly the way pictured the "adult" conversation between you and your mom.

Well, me neither.

But a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

On the plus side we're alone, in the mall with your mom's cash.

I know I got exactly what I wanted so why don't I feel any better? This is so much easier without my mother hanging around.

Exactly.

So, what are we looking for? I don't know.

I thought you knew.

I thought I did, too.

But
-but there's all these numbers and
-and letters.

Well, I mean, Kate owns one, right? How hard can it be? And action.

You should have never have come back here, Matthew
-san.

Now, I will be forced to destroy you.

You cannot destroy what you cannot catch.

That's what Jet Li's sidekick does.

And cut.

What are you guys doing here? You must be lost.

The dork section is on the first floor.

Is there some kind of rule that Kate and her posse have to witness every moment of misery in my life.

We're shopping.

Yeah.

Shopping.

For what? They don't sell Underoos here Claire, Kate.

I can't believe you're shopping with Claire's mom.

Yeah, we don't have to shop with our mom.

Claire, there you are.

Hi, Lizzie.

Hi, Miranda.

I haven't seem you girls around for a while.

Where's your mom? Oh, we get to shop by ourselves.

Mmm.

By yourselves? So, do you need any help? No, no, no.

No.

No, no.

We're fine.

Okay, then.

Tell your moms I said hi.

The footie pajamas are over there in the toddler section.

Good one.

"Only when the student can take the pebble from the master does the student become Jet Li's sidekick.

" Yes! Okay, cut, cut! Um, Mr.

McGuire, this is the climax of the movie so it's kind of important that you stick to the script.

I did.

No.

You have to close your hands when Matt tries to get the stone.

You got to make it look a little hard.

Yeah, I'm sorry, Gordo but I don't think a kung fu rip
-off is as effective as a well
-written and perfectly grammatically correct essay.

What are you talking about? It's totally better.

Well, you know, you two seem to have a better feel for this stuff than I do, so I'll just leave you to it.

Hey, David, it's Sam.

Yeah.

I
-I need a favor.

Are you still teaching kung fu? We are so lost.

I have no clue what I'm doing.

I need Mr.

Snuggles.

This was a total mistake.

Maybe we're not ready.

You know, I don't need a salesperson.

And I don't need Miss Miller.

Miranda? I think I need my mom.

That's the best idea you've had all day.

Let's go.

Only once the pebble has been taken by the student from the master no.

Only once the master has given the no.

Student can take the pebble from the master's Jet Li's sidekick.

Jet Li's sidekick.

It's mine.

Jet Li's sidekick.

Gordo, we've done this seven times already.

Aren't we done yet? I'm sorry, Matt, but this was a lot easier with your father helping.

Then let's go get him.

Mr.

McGuire we really need your help.

Guys, I told you: I really don't know much about this kung fu stuff.

But I know someone who does.

Hello, young grasshopper.

Dad, why is he calling me "grasshopper"? Just go with it, Son.

Your father tells me you wish to be a martial artist.

Yeah Jet Li's sidekick.

I have much to teach you.

But you must be willing to learn.

Oh
-kay.

Hey, girls.

You finish your shopping? Not exactly.

It didn't really go the way we planned.

Listen, I'm really sorry.

You know what, Mom No, let me finish.

I remember when I was 13 and my mom would take me shopping she would do everything imaginable to embarrass me and I promised myself I would never act like that with my own daughter.

Mom, you didn't act that way.

You're right
-
- I was worse.

And you are becoming adults and I should have just let you do it on your own.

And I'm sorry.

No, you really shouldn't have.

And we're not adults.

Not even close.

And you know that temper tantrum I just threw in the dressing room? Not exactly adult material.

So I'm really sorry.

Me, too.

And I guess the adult thing to do sometimes is ask for help.

You didn't buy anything, did you? Nope.

Nada.

Well, let's go shopping.

Give me my $40.

Uh They forget to sign your field trip forms.

Forget you don't like liverwurst.

But they never forget when they give you cash.

Everybody was kung fu fighting Those cats were fast as lightning In fact, it was a little bit frightening But they fought with expert timing Pretty good.

They were funky Chinamen From funky Chinatown They were chopping them up They were chopping them down It's an ancient Chinese art What? And everybody knew their part From a feint into a slip And a kicking from the hip Everybody was kung fu fighting Those cats were fast as lightning In fact it was a little bit frightening But they did it with expert timing Carl Douglas
- Kung Fu Fighting Class dismissed.

When you can snatch the pebble from my hand it will be time for you to be Jet Li's sidekick.

Master, why do you close your hand? You have many questions, grasshopper.

But I have a question for you, Matt.

"What is it that qualifies you to be the best choice to become Jet Li's sidekick?" Well, because I'm smart, and funny and I do my own stunts.

Yeah! How did you do that? Whoo
-hoo! Who's the grasshopper now? And cut.

That's a wrap.

My work is done.

Dad, high five.

You're the coolest.

Mr.

McGuire, who was that guy? Gordo, I've known him all my life.

He's like a brother to me.

I can't believe you spent all afternoon with Matt and my dad.

Hey, Matt and your dad are pretty cool.

We made a kung fu movie and considering the alternative I'd say it was a good choice.

Well, I don't think we'll be having anymore girl
-only shopping trips for quite a while.

Yeah, Gordo, it's safe to go with us to the mall again.

Cool, but when you starting talking about shopping for school supplies let me know when you mean school supplies or, uh, "school" supplies.

Deal.

Deal.

My work here is done.

Hi
-yah.

Hello? This is Matt McGuire's father.

You're calling from the Jet Li sidekick contest? He won! Matt's going to be Jet Li's sidekick?