01x14 - Random Acts of Miranda

[bunniefuu]

Did you know that there was cannibalism in Trinidad and Tobago until 1850.

There were a lot of pirates in that area, too.

They liked to drag their prisoners under their ship across the razor
-sharp coral reefs.


-On the other hand,
-Agh! they invented barbecued food.

Are you hungry? I'm hungry.

Gordo, I'm trying to finish this article in time for this week's edition.

"School To Schedule Weekly Movie Night.

" Did you know that motion pictures weren't really invented by Edison, like everybody thinks? They were invented by William Friese
-Greene.

but he reports that he sold the patent to Edison.

Edison was almost completely deaf.

And he had eyebrows like out to here.

Gordo! Sorry.

I'll zip it.

Wow! They're showing The Mummy? Fine, Gordo.

What do you need to tell me about The Mummy? That I liked it? Is that all? And that when they made mummies they used to pull their organs out through their nose.

Oh! Here's the movie night story, Mr.

Lang.

I feel like I got a real handle on this journalism stuff.

I think this story lead's a real grabber.

So on my next story I was thinking I could do the school play.

Mr.

Escobar, the drama teacher, wrote it.

My best friend Miranda's auditioning for it.

She'll probably just get a small part.

So I think I can cover that all the way from auditions to opening night.

Bermuda! I, um, beg your pardon? Seven letter word for putting surface.

Uh.

I think Mr.

Lang is way over journalism.

It seems like he'd rather be somewhere else.

So, I'll do the story on the play, then.

And I'll have it for you after opening night.

There'll be, uh, reviews uh, details on the production Well, it'll just be all about the play.

Gordo? A little help here.

Well, apparently, the Egyptians had this wooden hook that went right into the nose Oh! If you believe We've got a picture
-perfect plan We've got you fooled 'Cause we only do the best we can And sometimes we make it And sometimes we fake it But we get one step closer each and every day We'll figure it out on the way.

Lizzie McGuire S01E14 Random Acts of Miranda You know, when you become a famous reporter I can come along and take all the pictures.

Photographers get to wear stuff with lots of pockets.

I like that.

I don't think you'll be my photographer, Gordo.

I don't plan on doing any lingerie fashion shows or swimsuit competitions.

Well, forget it, then.

Oh my gosh, oh! Oh, I'm sorry, Tudgeman.

I
-I got it! I didn't even try to but I got it! What did you get? What did you get? The lead in the play! I am going to be the star of the school play! Oh, that is so awesome! Congratulations! I thought I'd get in the chorus or paint the scenery or something.

But no, I got the biggest part! That is so great.

I didn't know you were such a good actress.

To be honest, I didn't have any real competition.

Mr.

Escobar wrote the play himself.

And it's set in the 1950s which is like a million years ago.

And none of the regular drama kids wanted to do it.

They all wanted to do something where they were supermodels and NBA stars who turned into crime
-fighting, rapping robots.

Now, that's a great idea.

But still, you're the star of the play.

You got the biggest part! None of us have ever been in a play before.

I have.

In the third grade grammar pageant.

I played the question mark.

Gordo that might not help you get dates.

Okay, but if you guys ever need help looking confused, inquisitive or questioning I'm your guy.

Hey, Matt.

Lanny.

How you doing? What you been up to? Why do you bother? You know he's not going to say anything.

I'm going to get something out of him, watch.

So Lanny, want to stick around for dinner? Cause we're having Gammy McGuire's spareribs.

He can't.

He has church choir practice tonight.

Besides, ribs give Lanny nightmares.

The walrus dream, right? Right.

Hey, Mom can I have $3,000 for a jet ski? Well, no.

Can I have $1,000 for an electronic keyboard? I don't think so.

All right.

I guess I'll just settle for $90 for walkie
-talkies.

Matt, we are not giving you $90.

See, Lanny, I told you they wouldn't fall for the start high, go low thing.

What do you need walkie
-talkies for anyway? So me and Lanny can talk to each other at night and when we're on our way to school and stuff.

You know, your mom and I aren't here just to give you money, Matt.

I know you're not just here to give me money.

You have to cook and wash my clothes and do all that stuff, too.

What your father is trying to say is we work hard for our money.

So if you want expensive things you've got to earn them.

That's right, sport.

You want walkie
-talkies, You're just gonna have to get out there and earn the money yourself.

Why? Earn it yourself? Where do they come up with this stuff? I mean, it's just so weird.

Okay
-
- a nickel, two pennies, a peppermint candy and a bunch of nuts I don't know what that is.

And I think this is the turtle I lost three years ago.

Well, come on.

We better go start checking pay phones for change.

Places, everyone.

After rehearsal, I'm going to ask Mr.

Escobar a few questions.

How the play got started, how he got the ideas for the show.

What's up with that blue scarf he always wears? Shh.

Listen, Rhonda I've got to get out of this town.

My old man, he just doesn't understand.

Oh, Reb be strong for both of us.

Rhonda walks to the table worried.

Okay, hold on a second, Miranda.

That was great.

Uh, we're on our way to the stars.

But, "Rhonda walks to the table worried,"
-
- it isn't dialogue.

You actually do it.

It's "Oh, Reb, be strong for the both of us.

" And you walk to the table worried.

But you don't have to say it.

Oh, right, right.

Mr.

Escobar, I just want to thank you again for letting me be in this play.

Acting is like the greatest thing I've ever done.

Wow, Miranda's officially in love with acting.

Maybe when she's 30 years old she can play a teenager on Dawson's Creek.

You're very welcome, Miranda.

Let's move on to the drag race scene, shall we? Larry! Care to join us? That's Tudgeman! Oh, Stingo, why does Reb do such dangerous things? You're his best friend, and I can't get through to him! Why, oh, why won't he let me in? How come this is so lame? It's just rehearsal.

I mean, I'm sure the movie with the hockey
-playing chimp wasn't brilliant the first time they ran through it.

It'll get better.

Yeah, right.

Can't you talk some sense into him, Tudgeman? Um, I'm Stingo, remember? Oh, can't you talk some sense into him, Stingo? At least I sure hope it gets better.

I can't believe that garage sale your parents had.

I never knew people would pay money for old junk.

I mean, that lady with that weird purple thing on her neck paid $5 for a cookie jar shaped like an elf! Uh! Hey I think I'm thinking what you're thinking.

Sell my stuff.

I've got a room full of junk I could get rid of! Then we'll have the money for the walkie
-talkies Here's to money! Oh, sorry, Lanny, my bad.

Here.

Miranda.

Hey! Oh, I don't have much time.

Mr.

Escobar makes us meditate before we go on.

Oh.

That outfit is so excellent.

Thanks.

I'm going to be a star! I'm going to write about it! Here.

It's Cindy Loo
-Moo.

Yeah, you gave her to me before soccer playoffs, and it helped me score a goal.

So now she's going to bring you some good luck.

Thanks.

Gather round, kids.

Thanks, I've got to go.

Okay.

Ohm Is Miranda nervous? No, I've never seen her so confident.

Here we go.

Yep.

Here we go.

Hey, Reb, I heard you got expelled from school.

Hey, it's Tudgeman! Mr.

Birch hasn't liked me since my family's moved west and I started here at Southeast Northfield High.

Man, that's a gyp, Reb.

They should have launched him into orbit instead of the astronauts oh! Oh, Stingo, you and your wisecracks.

Reb! Reb! Ow! Now that you've been expelled my father will never let me see you again.

I'll be restickted, stricted I'll be restricted! My bad Um and senior prom is two weeks away! Reb! Reb! How could you do that, Daddy? You'll never understand Reb, because he's a wild mustang running free as swiftly as the eagle on the prairie flying above us.

The wide open spaces So I'm going with Reb even if I have to drop out of school.

Guess now I'll never be be be valedictorian.

Wait for me, Reb! Well, it didn't get any better.

It's official.

Miranda stinks.

Be careful with that box, Lanny.

I got a Celine Dion snow globe in there.

That's got to be worth at least five bucks to some yokel.

No, Lanny, I told you.

First, we're selling the books.

Then the toys, then the clothes.

And then we'll sell the wagon.

Okay, you ready, Lanny? Hey, Matt, Lanny.

Is your sister here? She's inside.

Hey! We're selling some of my old stuff.

Want to buy anything? Uh, I don't think so.

Okay, okay, I can do this.

I've got words in my head.

Come on, words, out of my head, out, out! Ooh, Scranton That's a city in Pennsylvania.

What stinking good does that do me? Hey, what you doing? Hmm, the play review.

What's that? A Whee
-lo.

It doesn't have a wheel.

Yeah, I know.

That Lanny, he could sell ice to a polar bear.

So, how's the review coming? Mmm, great.

Just great.

"Greasier Review, by Lizzie McGuire.

Scranton.

" Well, I
-I
-I that really says it all.

I probably would've gone with Pittsburgh but you know me
-
- I overstate things.

That's just doodling.

I can't bring myself to say that Miranda Stinks like a cab driver's armpit? Gordo, I can't say that.

She's my best friend.

I can't give her a bad review.

It's not a big deal.

Miranda's an actress.

She knows that sometimes you don't get good reviews.

Well, she's counting on me to support her.

She may be the worst actress in history, and you're reporting on it.

You have to report the truth.

Well, I might have to report the truth but that doesn't mean I can't go easy on her.

Newcomer Miranda Sanchez gives her best effort as Rhonda in the school production of Greasier.

"Unfortunately, her best effort comes up short.

" Comes up short?! Well, I said your clothes looked nice.

How could you do this? You know how important this play is to me! I know, and I I can't believe it.

I thought you were my best friend.

Hey, Miranda.

I got you some flan.

I know how much you like it.

Hey, don't slide away from me, Miss Thing.

I'm trying to be the nice one here.

Come on, Miranda.

I mean, I didn't mean for the review to hurt you.

Hey, I shouldn't even have to apologize, Miss Queen of Stinky Acting.

I was just trying to do my job.

I thought that you would understand.

Oh, I
-I understand.

I understand that you're just jealous that I'm the star of the school play and you are just a little reporter! And if you think tearing me down makes you bigger than me well, you're wrong! You're a lousy friend! Well, you're a lousy friend, too, and a stinkbag actress! Well, you're a lousy friend, too, and a stinkbag actress! Impressive.

Oh! Didn't go so well, huh? Oh! Those were my fries! Brilliant observation, Gordo.

Miranda, wait up.

Don't even try to defend Lizzie, Gordo.

I don't have to.

This is a tape of your performance and this is the review Lizzie wrote.

Take a good look at them both.

Oh, Reb, I've found you at last.

Don't move.

I'm coming across this arcade and oops.

Ow! and jumping into your arms and never letting go! Sorry.

Roger that, Lanny.

I'm exiting the kitchen and heading upstairs.

We'll establish communications from there.

Matt, over and out.

Honey? Honey.

Where did you get the walkie
-talkies? I earned them, like you said.

Well, I've got to go.

Lanny got his stomach pumped and he's going to tell me all about it.

How did he earn all that money? And what did Lanny eat? So, even though they look like marshmallows they don't really taste like marshmallows? That's good to know.

Well, Matt, over and out.

Talk to you later.

Hey, Matt.

What happened to all your things, honey? Sold them.

And you used the money for your walkie
-talkie? Uh, yeah.

Well, I got to go downstairs and do my spelling homework.

Oh, yeah I don't have anything to wear tomorrow to school.

See ya! What's it going to cost to replace all his stuff? Uh
-Uh, right.


-Yeah.

Let's not teach him anything else for a while.


-Okay?
-Okay.

Hey, Mom.

I think I'm going to buy my lunch at school tomorrow so you don't have to pack me one.

Honey, this isn't for you.

This is for your dad's softball game.

You're going to Dad's softball game? Mmm
-hmm.

But he hardly even gets to play and the only time he gets on the base is when he gets hit by a pitch.

Well, his team finally made it to the semi
-quarter consolation game, whatever and it's the best they've ever done so I figured, what the heck But you don't even like softball.

Honey, it's not that I don't like it.

I hate it.

It's very, very dull to watch and the bleachers are incredibly uncomfortable.

Go! Go! Yeah! Whoo! Well, he didn't go to your blood drive.

Well, to be fair, he was working that day.

I thought he just didn't want to go.

Well, if he did, I would still go to his game.

It's not about who owes who what.

If you love someone, you support them.

I hate this! She's showing me how to be a better friend to Miranda and she doesn't even know she's doing it.

I think Mom might be a witch.

"In spite of the efforts of the rest of the cast "the entire play is dragged down by Miranda Sanchez's performance You?! Y I We were on our way to the stars! Hmm Places, everyone.

Miranda, I know you think I'm a terrible friend but before you drop a spotlight on me I wanted to show you this.

t's running in the next issue.

It's a retraction of my review.

"Contrary to previous reports " Miranda Sanchez is very entertaining as Rhonda Dopopopolos.

" I was wrong to run a bad review, and I'm really sorry.

No, you're wrong now.

I was terrible.

You were terrible? I saw the tape of my performance.

Ew! I
-I even wrote a letter to the editor saying your review was too nice.

How can you write a retraction of the truth? Because you're my friend.

And you love acting.

I couldn't just ruin that for you.

Well, thanks, but just because I'm a bad actress doesn't mean you should be a bad journalist.

If I'd known it was going to make you feel that bad I would have never written a review.

Thanks, but if I had known I was going to stink so bad I would have never even done the show.

I'm sorry I got mad at you but let's face it, acting is not my thing.

Whoo
-hoo! Oh, Stingo, you and your wisecracks.

Heh, heh.

Hey, maybe glee club? Huh? Oh, Stingo, you and your wisecracks.

Glee club.

If I'm a bad actress, I have to be a good singer.

Glee club? Singing? Oh, no! Oh, Stingo, you and your wisecracks! Oops.

That's my cue.

Poor audience.

Reb! Reb! Ow! Singing.

Just when you think Miranda's hit bottom, she gets a shovel.

Look at me I will never pass for a perfect bride Or a perfect daughter Can it be, I'm not meant to play this part Now I see that if I weren't true to be myself Hello, Mariah Carey.

She really found something she doesn't stink at.

Now I see that if I weren't true to be myself Good for Miranda.

I bet if I keep looking I can find a thing I'm really good at, too.

Mulan Soundtrack
- Reflection Somehow I cannot hide who I am Though I've tried When will my reflection show who I am inside? I'm your guy.

Brilliant observation, Gordo.

Hey, don't slide away from me miss Oops.

I was just trying to do my job.

I thought you'd understand.

Oh I
-I Understand I un