01x15 - Lizzie's Nightmare

[bunniefuu]

Lizzie, there's something I'm supposed to tell you I just can't remember what.

Oh, I know.

Was it about Lizzie's outfit? 'Cause, you know, it's not her fault
-
- red's not her color.

Maybe 'cause it clashed with the green spinach that was in my teeth all afternoon.

Hmm, is that what that was? I thought it was licorice.

That doesn't matter.

The point is, you're my best friends.

You should've told me.

What, dog breath?
-Nothing.


-Freak.

That's it.

I just remembered what I'm supposed to tell you Ethan said that if you wanted to sit with him at lunch today he'd be cool with it.

Ethan? Ethan Craft said I could eat lunch with him today and you're and you're telling me this now way into the conversation with no time to prepare? I couldn't remember.

You want to know why? Because it's not that important.

Not important? Gordo, if Lizzie has lunch with Ethan I mean, the school will notice.

No, they won't.

Yes, they will.

Which translates to being popular.

Lizzie will be popular which means we will be popular.


-Whatever.

What happened?
-Lizzie? Let's just say it's about four feet tall it has brown hair and it's far worse than you not telling me I have spinach stuck in my teeth all afternoon.

I'd hang up, but I can't.

Matt must've been switched at birth.

My real brother couldn't be some prank
-pulling, lizard
-k*lling make
-believe
-friend
-having weirdo.

I want a blood test.

If you believe We've got a picture
-perfect plan We've got you fooled 'Cause we only do the best we can And sometimes we make it And sometimes we fake it But we get one step closer each and every day We'll figure it out on the way.

Lizzie McGuire S01E15 Lizzie's Nightmares No big deal? No big deal? But
-but I'm supposed to have lunch with I am having a very important lunch today, Mom and now my hair is ruined.

Hysterical? Who said I'm hysterical? I'm not hysterical.

Lizzie, I think we got almost all the honey out.

I don't think anyone's going to notice.

Yes, they will.

They just won't say anything.


-Well, let's ask your father.

Sam?
-Hmm? Look at Lizzie.

Doesn't she look especially nice today? Yeah, she does.

Especially her earrings.

Poor Dad.

He tries so hard, but most of the time, he's clueless.

Um, I mean her outfit.

Of course, your hair.


-See?
-No, it
-it looks nice.

Beautiful, in fact.

See? Poor Mom.

She's got Dad so well
-trained she actually believed that.

I'm telling you, Lanny the honey thing worked great.

I did exactly what you said, but I used my sister instead of a hamster.

Uh, Lanny, I got to go.

Hi.

If you want to know what's good for you you won't talk to me, you won't look at me and you pretend that you don't know me.

Forever? Works for me.

Hey, Matt that's your sister.

Be nice.

But she's such an easy target, Dad.

Oh, let's see if you can say that with your head underneath my foot.

Okay, that's it.

Matt you are grounded.


-Yeah.

What'd he do?
-He her hair.


-Oh, right, right.


-So, what is it this time? No TV? No friends over after school? No more chicken noodle casserole? Eww! I know! Why don't we just send him away, like, forever?
-That's not a bad idea.


-Hey, that's not very nice.

Well, you haven't been very nice either, young man putting honey on your sister's phone.

Just go to school.

I'll deal with your punishment later.

Oh, I'll rush right home.

Hey, Matt, cool it, all right.

And you better hurry up before you miss your bus.

Poor Matt.

If he weren't so w
-wait! What am I saying? "Poor Matt"? Not.

Hey, what about her? Mom's taking me to school, brother from another.

Oh, "Mommy's taking me to school.

" Hey, wait! Hey, wait for me! Hello! Hey! Thank you! Hey, this isn't my bus.

Oh, well.

Your hair looks fine.

Really.

Oh, and for the record, your teeth are clear, too.

Thanks, Miranda.

Anyway, I've made a desion.

I'm not going to let my little brother ruin what's otherwise the greatest day of my entire life.

What's so great about it?
-Tell him, Miranda.


-Two words, Gordo.

If you say Ethan Craft, I swear I'm going to hurl.

Fine.

In that case, I'll say one word: lunch.

You're in my seat, little man.

Move it.


-Um, I don't think so.


-You don't think so? Um, no, unless I missed the sign that says "reserved for Franken dork.

"
-What?
-Franken
-dork.

Frankendork.

I'd show you, but I don't have a mirror.


-Who are you?
-They call me Bond.

Matt Bond.

All right, you leave me no choice.

How do you want it?
-Um, shaken, not stirred.


-You're funny.

So are you, but looks aren't everything.

Slide over, Bond.

I hate writing on the chalkboard.

It makes my hands all powdery and dry, like my grandma's face.

Hello, anybody home?
-Oh, sorry.


-Where is your head today?
-Uh, um, oh, nowhere.


-Hey, guys.


-Hey, Gordo.


-Have you guys heard about this new kid? You mean the one with the recording contract? Yes, I haven't stopped hearing about him.

His parents are spies he goes to Disney World at least twice a year and he's already skipped three grades.

Yeah, well, how about the fact that he's already made a movie? A movie.

And not just any movie, but a feature film.

With Steven Spielberg.

And he's younger than I am.

He's younger than me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa
-
- Who is this kid anyway? Haven't met him yet but he's a friend of Ethan Craft's.


-Ethan?
-Mm
-hmm.

He transferred from some small private school on an uncharted island near Fiji.

His name is, um um ooh, Matt something.

Matt? Please, don't say that name around me.

I can't believe it.

Younger than me, and he's already worked with Spielberg.

So I said to him Harry Potter should be seen not just read
-and that's why they're making the movie.


-Wow!
-Lizzie?
-Are you okay? Phew.

Yeah, I'm fine.

Was that was that Ethan? Did he say anything about lunch? Oh, Sam, this is all my fault.

Ho
-Hold on a second, honey.

I'm making a k*lling on this online auction selling your old Leif Garrett records.

Sam, I need you to listen to me.

It's Matt.

He's missing.

School just called.

He never showed up.

And the last thing I said to him before he went to school was that I thought that we should send him away forever.

And I think he thinks I hate him and he ran away from home.

I mean, from us.

I mean from me.

Now, just slow down, all right, honey? This has happened before, remember? That time that Matt hid under the bed for an entire day so that he didn't have to do the square dancing during PE?
-Oh, that's true.


-Yeah.

No, I checked under the bed and the only thing there was a week
-old chicken noodle casserole.

I thought he liked that, too.

You know, he's got to be around here somewhere.

Do you remember the time he snuck out so he could be the first in line at the toy store to meet Tarzan?
-Yeah, he didn't sneak out.


-Huh? I went with him.

I knew you liked that guy.

It's the way he was hanging from the rope, right and the loin cloth Okay, okay, okay.

This is serious.

Matt's missing and we have to find him.

Okay.

Look, you check the closets, I'll look under the house.

Okay, this is it.

The moment I've been waiting for my entire life: lunch with Ethan Craft.

I
-I want you to remember e
-every detail every expression, every word.


-No worries, Miranda.

I'll tell you everything.


-Thank you.

Okay, I wasn't going to say anything but I think you need to hear this.

The fact that you care so much about sitting with Ethan is kind of pathetic.

So, he's popular and maybe he's good looking.

So what? Who you are is way more important than who you sit with at lunch.

You done?
-Good.

Here I go.


-Good luck.


-Hey, Lizzie over here.


-Ahh.

And that's how Britney learned to dance.

It was nice while it lasted.

What are you doing? Getting my life back.

Hey, don't worry I'll tell you how I got knighted by the queen when I get back.

What are you doing here? Well, you see, it all started when Do Mom and Dad know that you're not in school?
-But, I am in
-You're the new kid, aren't you? Well, it kind of looks that way, but Does anybody know that you're my brother? Well, at first I thought he did look kind of familiar, but then I thought Lizzie could never be related to anybody that cool and charming.

Oh, hi, Matt.

Did Kate just call you cool? Never mind.

Here's the plan: we're going to call Mom and Dad to pick you up and by tomorrow, everyone will have forgotten who you are.


-Um, that's not going to work for me.


-What? I like it here.

The playground's bigger, the food's better and everybody's really nice.

Hey.

Especially that Ethan guy.

"That Ethan guy"? "That Ethan guy"?! Is it too late to put Matt up for adoption? You know all I ever hear you say about this place is how horrible it is.

But, it's really not.

I like it here, and I'm staying.

No, you're not.

Uh, yes, I am.

No! Matt, Matt The people have spoken.

At the risk of sounding selfish, I, for one, am glad it's Matt.

Steven Spielberg what an imagination.

So, what are you going to do? What am I going to do? I'll do what any other red
-blooded sibling does.

I'll got to Mom and Dad.

So, did Matt say anything about not going to school today, Lanny? You were on the phone with him this morning.

Nothing about square dancing or missing a test? Yeah? No.

The kid's not talking.


-Does he ever?
-He's one of Matt's best friends.

That's not saying much.

I just checked with headquarters.

They'll circulate pictures, canvass the area.

Don't worry.

Cases like this, it's best to just sit tight.

We'll know something soon.

You're right, gnomes are weird.

But they never let us make phone calls from the principal's office.

Are we or are we not allowed to use the school phone in case of emergencies?
-Allowed.


-And being my best friend, and knowing how I feel about him do you or do you not think that Matt being here is an emergency? Well, see, uh, that's where you and I differ.

Miranda, it's Matt.

The best thing about going to school every day is the fact that he's not going to be there.

But, for the first time in our lives we can use him to our advantage.


-Uh, no thanks.


-But Matt's a friend of Ethan's, which makes Matt popular.

We want to be popular.

Matt could help us.

Help us?! He's already ruined my lunch with Ethan Craft.

Besides, I don't even care anymore.

I just want him gone.

Uh, this all made sense to me before we started talking.

While you're trying to make sense of it I'll be in the office using the school phone.

Later.

You see as long as you can hold your breath being stuffed inside a locker isn't really that bad.

Here, you try.

Hello.

Hello? Anybody? The way that you've explained it I see no reason why Scooter shouldn't be a part of the PE curriculum.

I'm going to bring it up with the board.

Uh, now you know the rules, Miss McGuire.

No student phone calls.

But this is an emergency.

I mean, my little brother's at my school.

Yes, he is.

And we're very lucky to have him.


-But he doesn't belong here.


-You're right.


-He belongs in the gifted program.


-You
-you don't understand.

But I do.

Just a tip, Lizzie
-
- Jealousy isn't pretty on a girl.

Let's try and work through it, hmm? Uh, excuse me can you just call my parents.

I'm sure they're really worried about him.

Oh, no.

You don't have to do that.

Uh, actually, I was going to do that right now.

You are so busted.


-It's the machine.


-Yes.

H
-Hello.

Yeah, this is, uh, Principal Tweety from Lizzie's school.

Just wanted to call and say what a joy it is having Matt here with us today.

Somebody wake me up, please.

Anybody, wake me up from this horrible nightmare.

This is really happening.

So, I just thought I should tell you Matt's not who you think he is.

I just thought you should know that.

Weird.

The little guy said you'd do something like this.

He did? Something wrong? Nah.

Uh, I was just wondering
-
- does your brain hurt, like, all the time? My brain? I never met anybody with a permanent brain freeze.

Mine just last like a minute.

What are you talking about? My What else did that little Matt say about me?
-About your eyes.


-What about my eyes? Does the one really pop all the way out of your head when you get mad? That's it.

Matt's going down.

Well, this is ridiculous.

I can't stand around here waiting.


- I'm going nuts.


-Isn't there something you can do? It's best to just stay home and wait for the phone to ring.

Other than that, I'd love some more coffee.

No.

No! I'm not making you any more coffee until you can tell me where my baby is! Um, "phone to ring.

" Wait a second
-
- I turned the phone off when I was online, and What?! It's been off this whole time? Well, I was wheeling and dealing, you know 'cause the Leif Garrett records are really hot these days Oh, look, messages.

Jo, honey, it's Mom.

I hope this machine works.

You haven't returned any of my calls.

I'll deal with her later.

Hello.

This is, uh, Principal Tweety from Lizzie's school.

Lizzie's school? I don't have time for you.

My baby's missing.

That's the last message? But I wanted to hear from Matt.

I want my Matty.

I want my Matty.

Honey, it's going to be okay.

It's going to be fine.

Uh, about that coffee And voila the perfect meal.

I'll be sharing more recipes on Oprah next month.


-There you are.


-You okay? Never better, actually.

Why the sudden turnaround? Yeah, I heard Principal Tweety busted you.


-It was worth it.


-Say what? While Principal Tweety was showing Matt around the school I snuck in and used his phone to call.

So I said, "Tissue? I hardly know you.

"
-Matt McGuire?
-No.

No Matt McGuire here.

Bond? Matt Bond? I guess the jig is up.

Go easy on me, would you, fellas? Woo
-hoo.

Yeah.

He's so cool.

So cool.

What? I just can't win today.

Now I've made him even more popular.

Oh, I could kick myself in the head.

Wow, I didn't know I could do that.

Well, you know what they say: tomorrow is another day.

That may be true, but Matt's always going to be her brother.

Oh, thanks.

Way to spread the sunshine, Gordo.

Spielberg.

It's okay.

I feel for you.

So, did Matt get in beaucoup trouble? Total.

Grounded for a month, no TV and no phone.

And the best part is he's got to keep a solid ten feet away from me at all times.

Yeah, but meanwhile, everyone at school is still talking about him.

Yep, nothing says cool like getting arrested.

Especially at school.

Oh, hold on.

I've got another call, guys.

Hello? Uh, Lizzie, hi, it's Ethan.

Um, Ethan, hi.

Can you hold on a second? Oh, oh, my gosh, you guys.

Ethan.

I
-It's Ethan Craft.

He's on the other line.


-Ethan? Ethan?
-Oh, my gosh, I
-I got to go.

I so want to be you.

Can someone please explain this guy's appeal to me? I'm back.

So, what's up? Uh, hey, listen, I was wondering.

What are you doing for lunch on Saturday?
-Um, nothing yet.


-So, then you'll have time to pick up a pizza for me and Matt? I love that little guy.

That'd be that'd be great, but I think that's when Matt's nap time is.

Later.

Ow.

Matt ruined the best phone call of my life.

It's not over.

I'll get him.

But Matt's a friend of Ethan's which makes Matt popular.

W
-Which means he we'll be popular.

I mean, Matt could help us.

At the risk of sounding selfish, I for wum "Wum"? What's so great about it? Tell him, man Miranda.

Wait, let me take it back.

What's so great about it? Tell him, Gordo.

Matt ruined the best phone call of my life.

It's not over.

I'll get him.

Oops.