02x02 - El Oro De Montezuma

[bunniefuu]

Eating junk food with your friends, watching TV while your brain turns to tapioca --this is what America's all about.

Hey, guys, I'm gonna head on over to the convalescent hospital and read to some of the patients.

You guys want to come help? Sure.

-Right.

-Yeah.

'Cause then I thought that we could go over to the fertilizer store and roll around in the fertilizer until the grass grows out of our heads.

Yeah.

-Right.

-Sure.

Okay, what is so fascinating that you've all become zombies? Spanish game show.

I'm sorry, I have to ask.

Since none of you speak Spanish why are you watching a game show in Spanish? My cousin Carlos is supposed to be on it.

Oh, really? The one from Mexico? The one who taught Lizzie's dad how to dance? Carlos is such a cool guy.

I mean, he's always thinking of ways to make money.

Yeah, he taught me how to ride a bike, how to climb a tree and how to swim.

He gave me the family discount but I'm still paying off the swim lessons.

Carlos and some of his friends are going to be on the show next week.

Oh.

That's terrific, but I still don't think you guys should waste your whole afternoon watching television.

I mean, if your homework is done then you could be out riding your bikes or playing soccer or Why is Montezuma chasing that girl? We don't know.

Is that host's suntan real? Who knows? Potato chip? El oro es mio If you believe We've got a picture-perfect plan We've got you fooled 'Cause we only do the best we can And sometimes we make it And sometimes we fake it But we get one step closer each and every day We'll figure it out on the way.

Lizzie McGuire S02E02 El Oro de Montezuma Oh.

That must be that new kid from, um that that place.

Indonesia.

His name's Li.

Hi, Li.

I'm Lizzie, and this is Gordo.

You're really lucky to have Mr.

Dig this week, He's a really cool substitute.

Oh, and if you need anyone to show you around just let me know, okay? I am Li.

Yes, and, um, I'm Lizzie, and this is Gordo.

Do you need anyone to show you around? You know, give you the 4-1-1? What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Uh, so, Li, are your other classes cool so far? Oh, yes, I have other classes.

Uh-huh.

And, um how are they? Fine.

How are you? I'm fine, thanks.

He's cute, but he understands even less than Ethan Craft.

Hello, good morning and welcome to another exciting edition of Mr.

Dig's "People, Places and Things.

" I'm Mr.

Digs, you're people, we're in a place, and this is the thing.

Who can tell me what it is? It's a magical three-sided elf badge which renders the wearer invisible so he can enter the realm of the Forest King in Lord of The Rings.

No.

It's a lip stretcher.

The Suya Indian men of the Xingu River in the Amazon Basin use this to pull their lower lips out to here.

That's exactly what I was going to guess.

That hurts.

Indeed it does, Mr.

Gordon, but in the Amazon Basin it is the look the chicks dig big-time Hey, different cultures have different standards of beauty.

Chinese prize tiny feet Middle-Eastern cultures are fascinated with the eyes and some African tribes like elongated necks and enlarged ear lobes Ooh, that's weird.

It may be weird to you, Mr.

Tudgeman but the women in eastern Africa would find you disturbingly pale and bizarrely dressed.

That's how the women here find him.

The point is, is that our culture is a lot richer because of the contributions of other cultures.

It just so happens today we have a new student in our class from Indonesia Li Tarak.

Maybe you could tell us how we could benefit from your culture.

Again, sorry? Could you tell us about something from Indonesia? Yes, I am from Indonesia.

This might take a while.

So it takes a while.

We're here to learn about other cultures.

And just to make sure we do, I want you to write a report on a different culture.

It could be your native culture or it could be a foreign one and tell us what we can learn from people and their customs.

Doesn't sound as good as a free trip to the water park.

Mom, Dad, where did I come from? I thought we had that talk a while back.

Was there something you didn't understand, honey? Something you wanna talk about? Ew! Ew, no, not like that! I mean, like, where did our family come from? Oh, well, honey, you know I'm from Walla Walla, Washington.

And I'm from Kalamazoo.

I knew it.

My parents are from outer space.

I mean, like, what country did we come from? I have to write a book report on a foreign culture.

Well, Sam, what, your family is Scottish or Irish? Well, something like that.

What about you, sweetheart? Aren't you Swiss? Swiss, German, Hungarian, Polish.

All the countries with heavy food I guess I'll still have to find a culture.

Well, whatever I am, I'm proud to be it.

Thanks, Lanny.

Hey, Matt I can't talk now, Dad.

I'm looking for Lanny.

He's in with the dried beans, son.

You can't hide in the pantry.

You've transgressed the rules.

You've opened a can of worms.

Now I'm hiding wherever I want, and you'll never find me.

This is Hide-and-Go-Seek like you've never seen it before.

You have been warned.

Thanks, Lanny.

Hey, you guys remember my cousin Carlos from my birthday party, right Lizzie! No, no, I'm more of a shake-hands guy.

Why does he always kiss people? That's what some people do in Mexico City.

How come Ethan Craft can't be from Mexico City? You guys remember that game show my cousin's supposed to be on? Well, his teammates canceled on him.

Their dad's making them go to their sister's wedding.

So cruel.

If the happy couple is so much "in love" they can't wait a week? So you can't find anybody else? I tried to recruit replacements from the retirement home my parents manage.

I take it they weren't too good at the stunts.

On the contrary, my friend, they were very good.

But there's this puppet show that afternoon and they're not willing to miss it so there goes my chance at the dinero y fabulosos regalos.

Money and fabulous prizes.

Money? Prizes? I'm up.

I'm awake.

Well, I mean, we could be your teammates.

Two problems: one, we don't know the rules of the game show and two, we don't speak a word of Spanish.

I can speak some Spanish.

I know how to say, "Thanks for the Christmas present, Grandpa" and "I am off the phone.

" Yeah, and Carlos totally speaks Spanish.

I mean, he can translate for us tell us what stunts to do and we can do them.

This way I can do research for my report about a foreign culture and win fabulous prizes and dinero.

Now, that's a homework assignment that relates to my life.

Then we'll do it- the four of us will go for El Oro de Montezuma Go, go, go! Go, come on.

Yes! Okay, so, we've made it onto the show; we've got our parents' permission; we've got a handle on the stunts.

So Miranda and I think it would be good if we learned some Spanish phrases we'll need for the show.

Uh, Miranda? "Hi, Alex.

This is my favorite show.

" "Hola, Alejandro, este es mi programa favorito.

" "Great pants, Alex.

Where did you get them?" "Mira, Alejandro, me gustan tus pantalones.

Donde los compraste" "Let's go, go, go for the gold! Yay!" "Vamos, vamos, vamos, para el oro! Ay-yi-yi-yi!" Um, we're just practicing for a game show, Lanny.

Yeah, if you're looking for Matt, we haven't seen him all day.

D-oh! Hey, I'll bet Matt's upstairs hiding under the bed.

Ow! Okay, don't give me that look, Lanny.

You've only won this round.

The game continues.

One, two, three So, anyway, I think we need to spend more time working on the stunts than trying learning Spanish because Carlos is going to translate for us.

We have to be good at the game.

All right, if you think so.

I guess.

What do you think? Bueno.

What in the world does "bueno" mean? Es hora para El oro de Montezuma.

Demos la bienvenida a nuestro animador, Alejandro Guzman! Ahora, les presentamos los concursantes.

El equipo serpientes Carlos Delgado Miranda Sanchez y Lizzie McGuire y David Gordon.

Vamos, vamos, vamos por el oro! Comencemos! Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay! "Gue muralista Mexicano pinto El Mundo Azteca?" What Mexican muralist painted Aztec World? My parents took me to an exhibit of this guy.

Uh, Diego Rivera Correcto! Diez puntos mas.

Yes! We get ten bonus points before we even start.

Good thing Miranda knows more about her culture than I know about being Scottish, Irish, German, Dutch, Polish and whatever else I am I have to learn about half the world.

Y ahora nuestro primer desafio.

Ven conmigo por favor.

Tienen un minuto para reventar la mayoria cantidad de globos posible.

We have to pop balloons in between our chests.

The team that pops the most in one minute wins.

Okay? -Okay.

-Vamonos, vamonos, vamomos para el oro! Listos? Andale! Serpientes, uno Serpientes, dos 99, 100.

Ready or not, 'cause here I come.

(Duran Duran - Hungry Like the Wolf) Dark in the city, night is a wire Steam in the subway, earth is afire Woman you want me give me a sign And catch my breathing even closer behind In touch with the ground I'm on the hunt I'm after you Smell like I sound I'm lost in a crowd And I'm hungry like the wolf Straddle the line in discord and rhyme I'm on the hunt I'm after you Mouth is alive with juices like wine And I'm hungry like the wolf Stalked in the forest too close to hide I'll be upon you by the moonlight side Well played, my friend.

But there's one more round to go and I promise you, you are so not going to find me.

Escuche, un cubito de hielo, los topos la television.

Oh, oh, he says, "Listen-- ice cube "dice television"? Uh, um Oh! Las Vegas! No, no, no, no.

What do they have in common? They're all square! Look in the square baskets! Mira, cabetas, cabetas cabetas! Come on, come on, come on, come on! We got to find the rest of Gordo's bullfighter suit.

What is he saying?! Drawers, drawers, drawers.

Drawers? What's that supposed to mean? -Let's look in the drawers! -Oh! There you go.

It looks pretty good.

This is a good look for you.

Yeah.

Can you guys hurry up? My pants are itchy.

I found the cape! I found the cape! Miralo empezando desde abajo "Top it off from the bottom.

" Oh, something on top of a bull.

A bull has to sit on Gordo's head? That makes no sense.

Miranda, a a hat.

A hat! Yes, that's good! And it's got to go from the bottom? Bottom, bottom, the bottomThe bottom! Ay, cuidado! I have a feeling "cuidado" means either "look out" or "blondie's about to get squashed.

" Tengan cuidado! Tenemos un campeon! We win! We win! We get to go to the bonus round! Whoo! Por atacar la sala del trono de Montezuma su equipo necesita actuar estos papeles.

Ustedes deciden.

Uh huh? He says you have to pick roles for us to play from that board.

Okay, okay.

Gordo, the matador.

Miranda whatever this is you can be it.

I can be the blue thing.

Carlos can be the orange thing.

Oye, quue estas haciendo? Quetzocoatl no mezcla con los humanos.

Lizzie! You made me the Aztec Bird-Snake god.

That means I get separated from the team.

Don't make him go away! We need him! Okay, I've got about 30 seconds to brush up on a thousand years of Mexican culture.

Sorry, guys.

Good luck with your game.

Ahora tienen que reconstruir la legenderia piramide de Chichinitza.

Huh? I feel like I've just transferred into a school from Indonesia Tienen cajas.

Tienen arroz con leche.

Tienen 45 segundos.

Ponganse! What does that mean? What does that mean? I must have soaked up some Spanish in my life.

Nothing.

What are we supposed to do? How should I know? Maybe we're rice pudding delivery people.

We put it in the boxes and then deliver it to the other side of the stage.

That seems way too easy.

Maybe we're supposed to hop over the other boxes as we go.

Hey, it's worth a try.

No-no-no-no-no.

You're supposed to build a pyramid with the boxes.

Use the pudding for cement.

I am totally lost.

I have no idea what to do and people are laughing at me.

Quit laughing.

What am I, a clown? I'm here to amuse you? Okay, that is not right.

Maybe we're supposed to eat the rice pudding.

If we were supposed to eat the rice pudding why would they give us all these other boxes? They wouldn't.

Then why should we eat it? 'Cause I like rice pudding.

They're laughing-- that's obviously not right.

No, but it's tasty.

Maybe we're supposed to dunk the pudding into the boxes.

Yeah, I'm sure that's it.

It's worth a try.

What are you doing? You're wasting pudding! I am trying to win.

Would you give it up? Why did you do that? It was an accident.

Oh.

Well, so was this.

It's a good thing you like pudding.

Yeah, well, you know what? You should try some.

diez, nueve, ocho, siete, seis, cinco, cuatro, tres, dos, uno El oro es mio! Finally, while many tattoos are very popular here most of you probably don't know that they derive from the centuries-old cultural and religious tradition in India Very good, Mr.

Gordon.

Now we'll hear from Miss McGuire.

Well, for my report, I thought it would be a good idea to go on a Spanish-language game show.

Do you understand, Li? Like Hollywood Squares? Whoopi Goldberg to block? Yeah, like that, only stickier.

And before I did that, I didn't realize how hard it is to be in a place where you don't understand the language or customs.

Or what to do with a box and a bunch of rice pudding.

And now I realize I should learn about other people's cultures because we're all here together and it would be much easier if we all understood each other.

And believe me now I know what it's like not to understand.

It's like being laughed at and covered in rice pudding is what it's like.

So, I'm sorry if I lost my patience with you because you don't get everything right away.

I won't do that anymore.

I understand.

Wise words Miss McGuire.

Anyway, um, I picked somewhere else.

The culture of Indonesia is both ancient and modern.

Stretching across hundreds of islands in Southeast Asia-- among them Bali and Jakarta.

Indonesian culture reflects both land and sea.

Hey, Lanny, if you've given up aren't you supposed to yell "ollie, ollie, oxen free"? Okay.

Stupid question Okay, Lanny, uh, getting a little bored.

Getting a little hungry, too.

Hurry up and find me, Lanny! Uh-oh.

Lanny? Lanny! A-B camera mark! Well played, my Come on, come on, come on, come on Ooh! Dude.

We can't win that way, Adam! We can't win anyway.

At least this way, I get to go home with a stomach full of rice pudding.

Sorry! I'm slipping! Okay, this is not fun anymore.