02x29 - Grand Ole Grandma

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Lizzie McGuire". Aired: January 12, 2001 – February 14, 2004.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise

Series follows Lizzie McGuire, a thirteen-year-old girl who faces the personal and social issues of adolescence.
Post Reply

02x29 - Grand Ole Grandma

Post by bunniefuu »

when I'm going to be feasting upon left-over brisket.

Mm.

Yeah, we know, Gordo.

Your grandmother's coming to stay with you for a week while your parents are gone, and she makes the best brisket.

Not to mention her kugel.

And did I tell you how she practically greets you at the front door with fresh baked cookies? I mentioned how she has that thing for old movies, right? She lets me stay up late and watch them with her.

And she calls me David.

Uh, hello? That's your name.

Hello? What do you call me? Well, Gordo, your grandmother sounds amazing.

I can't wait to meet her.

Grandma.

See what I mean about the baking? Oh, where's my favorite grandson? Come over here and give me some sugar.

Ooh.

Here, let me look at you.

Oh, my goodness.

You're even more handsome than that last time I saw you.

You must be fighting off the girls with a stick.

Oh, I see two of them followed you home.

Oh, um this is Lizzie and Miranda.

It's nice to meet you.

Um Call me Gorgeous.

Lately everybody does.

They do? Well, you certainly don't dress like my grandma.

Your outfit's so cool.

This? You like, huh? Well, it's definitely different.

I thought it was a little spicy myself.

Here, have some pineapple.

It's the elixir of life, you know.

Just please tell me you made a brisket.

Oh, wait till you taste it.

Her brisket's amazing.

I made something even better.

What's better than brisket? I always wanted to make a meal out of appetizers.

Great.

I love appetizers.

Yeah, they're the best part of the meal.

Actually, the meal's the best part of the meal.

Come on, Gordo, just live a little.

Listen to these two, Gordo.

They're smart.

Appetizers and a compliment.

I really like her.

Did did you just call me Gordo? Isn't that what your friends call you? You're my grandma.

So we can't be friends? She's got a point.

So there's no brisket? A meal should be like life-- unpredictable, a little surprising, but most of all, delicious.

Try one.

Thanks Gorgeous.

If you believe We've got a picture-perfect plan We've got you fooled 'Cause we only do the best we can And sometimes we make it And sometimes we fake it But we get one step closer each and every day We'll figure it out on the way.

Lizzie McGuire S02E29 Grand Ole Grandma UPLOADED BY: HEYMILEY Hey, where's Mom and Dad? They're, like, always ready before me.

And there's no coffee.

Mom always makes coffee, like, first thing.

Matt, come on, this is serious.

Where's Mom and Dad? What's serious is the fact that you haven't brurushed your teeth yet this morning.

P U.

Oh, I hate him.

Besides, the quiet's sort of nice.

I'm actually reading about the stock market in peace for once.

Mom? Are you okay? I was starting to get worried.

Yep, that should win me a few points down the road.

I'm fine, Matt.

Don't worry about it.

Did she just call me Matt? A mistake like that's going to cost her.

Hey, Mom, can we get a dog? Yeah, yeah, that sounds nice.

Okay, something's definitely wrong with her.

That never works.

Good night.

- Morning.

- Do you want some coffee? Okay.

Uh, Matt, Dad is wearing earmuffs and gloves.

Mm.

Coffee.

Is it warm in here, or is it just me? Mom, Dad, are you guys okay? I don't feel very well.

My throat's sore.

What?! You guys are sick?! But this never happened before.

What am I going to do? Don't worry, son.

Everything's going to be just fine.

Should I call the doctor? No, no, no.

I'm sure we'll be just fine by the kids you time get school from home.

Weird.

I know what she meant.

What she said.

Good night.

Brush your teeth, comb your hair, honey.

Thanks again for dinner last night, Gordo.

Yeah, it was lots of fun.

Yeah, your grandma is so cool.

Don't you mean my Gorgeous is so cool? Okay, so she's a little funky, but I thought you were looking forward to her visit.

I was.

I was looking forward to the grandma that makes me kugel, and the grandma that dresses normal.

Not the grandma that feasts on appetizers.

And comes to my school wearing one of those spicy outfits and carrying chopsticks.

Hey, she looks good in bright colors.

What is she doing here? Oh, Gordo, there you are.

Oh, hi, girls.

It's nice to see you again.

Hey.

Anyway, it was lunchtime, and I realized that I sent you to school without anything to eat.

That's okay.

I usually just eat whatever's in the cafeteria.

Unless, of course, that's brisket? No.

Sushi.

And I put a little wasabi in there.

'Cause it's good for your sinuses.

I heard a little snoring coming from your room last night.

Okay, sushi, wasabi, sinuses, snoring, yeah, okay, I got it, Grandma.

Thanks.

See you at home.

Oh, actually, I wanted to ask you about that skydiving excursion you went on.

Whatever you do, don't do it on a full stomach, cause the guy in front of me just had Mexican.

Let me tell you, I can never look at nachos the same way again.

Good to know.

Well, I hate to drop and run, but I don't want to miss my singing lesson.

Singing lessons? Cool.

See you later, handsome.

Bye-bye.

You know, when my grandpa d*ed, my parents said they noticed a change in my grandma.

Now that I'm around her, I see that they were right.

Is that like a bad thing? How can I explain it? It's like when you go to take a drink of water, but it's really milk.

It's just not what you were expecting.

Now I've got to go find a garbage can or a hungry cat.

Could be worse.

She could have brought him frog's legs.

Yuck.

I made you tomato soup.

Oh, honey, you know you're not supposed to cook anything without your father or I there.

I didn't cook anything.

All I did was open up a can of soup and poured it in a bowl.

Oh, I was supposed to heat that, wasn't I? Uh, honey your father and I really appreciate all your effort.

Really, really we do, but, I, um I don't want you to catch whatever it is that Dad and I have, so I think you and Lizzie should stay downstairs and stay away from us.

Downstairs? All by ourselves? With nothing but candy and junk food to eat? Order pizza.

You and your sister can take care of each other for a while, right? Okay, thank you.

Good night.

We're right here if you need us.

We just you have to go now.

Okay, well, feel better, okay? Yeah! Bye.

Oh, there.

Oh, the chi is much better this way.

I can feel the energy flowing a little brighter already.

Grandma, what are you doing? Just a little rearranging.

It's Feng Shui.

It's all about balancing your living quarters so that you allow peace and harmony into your life.

It's all the rage in Japan.

But you don't live in Japan.

You don't even live here.

But the people I love do.

Come, take off your shoes.

We're about to eat in a few minutes.

Don't you mean wash up or something? What do my bare feet have to do with dinner? It's always questions with you.

Just like your father.

Don't you ever want to just loosen up? Phone.

I'll get that.

Thank goodness.

Hello.

I need backup.

Can you guys come over? Gordo, what's wrong? My grandma wants me to eat dinner on the floor with my legs crossed and barefoot.

And she's still calling me Gordo.

You tell me.

Personally, seeing your toes during dinner would make me lose my appetite.

But other than that, it sounds like fun.

Yeah, Gordo, she's your grandmother.

You should enjoy the time you have with her.

Easy for you to say.

Hey, Gorgeous.

Look what I found.

Oh, pictures.

Oh, let me see.

This is the one where we spent the whole day at the beach.

That was the perfect day.

I spent the entire time in the water.

And you had the worst sunburn of your life.

I went through 12 bags of ice taking care of you that night, remember? Yeah, I guess I kind of forgot that part.

Look, here, look at this one.

Oh That's your grandfather on his 70th birthday party.

That was so much fun.

You and Grandpa sang that duet on the karaoke machine.

And then he got heartburn from the meatballs.

Really? Oh, he belched garlic for days.

I just wanted to remember some of the good times we've had.

Oh, honey, we've had a lot of fun times together.

But you know what? Now that you're older and I'm wiser, we're going to have even more fun time together.

That's why I scheduled a snowboarding lesson for us tomorrow.

-Snowboarding? -Mm-hmm.

We don't even live near snow.

I know, that's why we'll get an early start.

I have school.

You know something? When I was your age, I would have loved an opportunity like this.

It's adventuresome, it's life-affirming, it's fun.

Grandma, how can I put this? But I have responsibilities.

I could write you a little note.

Sorry.

Oh, well.

Okay, let's eat.

Food's getting cold.

Actually I'm not so hungry after all.

Let me get this straight.

You ate ice cream for dinner, stayed up way past your bedtime and then had pizza for breakfast? Mm-hmm.

Yep, life is good.

What about your grandma? I'm sure she's still at her snowboarding lesson.

Snowboarding? Okay, your grandma's fearless.

It's like she's doing all these things that I wish I could do.

Big difference, Miranda.

You're a teenager and she's old.

Shouldn't she be knitting and playing bingo instead of worrying about her "chi.

" Aren't you the guy who thinks that we should all be individuals and not follow the herd? Yeah, she's just making life interesting.

But it's like I'm the grownup and she's the kid.

Isn't she supposed to be baby-sitting me? Well, since you are acting like such a baby So you actually want a baby-sitter? No.

I just want to know that she's there for me the way she used to be.

Ah! It was good.

So what was that, anyway? If I told you, then it wouldn't be a surprise.

And he'd probably crush me.

I am the Leftover king! Praise me or be doomed forever! Okay, ready for Mom and Dad to get better now.

Now the world's fastest roller-skating champion, Leftover King Matt McGuire! Whoa! What was that? I should go check on the kids.

Kids? Maybe, just just Are you okay? Matt the Invincible is A-Okay! He's also getting kind of a-nnoying.

You know what I need? More cushions! I'll get it.

Hey, come in.

Hi, sweetheart.

I'm looking for Gordo.

Have you seen him? Not since school.

I'm sure he's okay, though.

Don't worry.

He's probably at the library studying or something.

What, me worry? Oh, no, not me.

-Come on in.

-Okay.

Oh What a nice home you have.

Oh, um, I'd invite you to sit down but my little brother stole all the cushions off the couch.

And your parents don't mind? They don't know.

Um, actually, they don't know.

Incoming! Whee! Whee! He seems to be having fun.

It's nice to be so young and so carefree.

That's one way to look at it.

It's funny.

Now that I'm all grown up, I'm finally getting to be a kid myself.

What do you mean? Well, I know Gordo thinks I'm out on a limb these days.

Ever since I was a little bit older than you are, I had a list of things I wanted to do like see the Sistine Chapel up close, climb mountains, or learn to dance like Ginger Rogers.

Ginger who? Consider her the Britney of my generation.

I've been very lucky in my life.

I was blessed with a beautiful, healthy family, but now that my children are grown and have families of their own, I'm not needed much now.

So I finally have the time to do all the things on my list.

It's funny, you know? My grandmother likes to do crazy stuff, too.

She loves to go windsurfing and she likes to go gambling with her girlfriends but when it's just the two of us, she's still my Winnie Pooh Ba-ba.

Winnie who-wa? Fine, I was four years old.

Couldn't pronounce "Grandma.

" So sue me.

She makes me the most delicious grilled cheese sandwiches ever and she brushes my hair and watch game shows together.

And even though I'm old enough to do all those things on my own, it means something special when we do it together.

Now I see why you and David are so close.

You called him David.

He misses that.

How do you know that? Did he say something? Let's just say Gordo still needs his Winnie Pooh Ba-ba.

I had no idea.

Hello.

Oh, you must be Lizzie's mother.

Well, I'm very glad to meet you, but I can see that you're sick and you need your rest.

I do.

Who are you? Oh, Mom, this is Gordo's grandma.

Don't you worry.

Gorgeous is here to take care of you.

Now you get back upstairs and let me get this place and you back to shape before you know it.

My husband's not feeling very well, either.

There are two of you up there? Well no wonder this place is chaos.

Okay, I'll just Thank you.

Go, go back to bed.

Okay, Lizzie, help me find a soup pot.

And what's your brother's name? Uh, Matt.

Matt, you clean up this mess.

Put those pillows back and get that vacuum cleaner out and show your family some respect.

Sure.

And you are? She's my grandma.

David, have you been there the whole time? Long enough.

Well, come over here and give me some sugar.

Oh, honey.

Oh She may be out on a limb, but at lease she knows when to climb back down.

All right, now, find some carrots and start peeling.

Come on.

You, too.

Hurry up.

Grandma, I just wanted to tell you that you weren't totally wrong about this eating on the floor thing.

It's fun, isn't it? Yeah.

Although it is kind of hard to eat brisket with chopsticks.

You're right.

You know, I'm really going to miss you when Mom and Dad get back.

Well, here's a thought: there's a new adventure on my list of things to do.

Mm, what's that? A trip across America.

I figured I've seen most of the world but not enough of my own backyard.

Cool.

We could do it together.

We could go during your summer vacation.

Oh, hot-air ballooning in New Mexico horseback riding in Montana and river rafting in Colorado.

Hot air ballooning, river rafting? Sounds like an adventure.

Life affirming, fun even.

Here, have some more kugel.

So what you call this stuff again? It's kugel.

Some exotic noodle dish.

Hmm, not bad.

Hi, kids.

Guess what? Your dad and I are feeling so much better.

You guys feel okay, right? I feel great.

Actually, now that you mention it, I am feeling kind of, you know, throaty, kind of headachey.

You know, that might have worked this morning, but I do remember you have a test coming up tomorrow, so it's not going to work now.

Yes, they're feeling much better.

Lizzie, I just want to tell you how much I appreciate you taking care of everything while we were sick.

Although, I vaguely remember this sweet, older woman barking at me to get back into bed, and I thought she brought us the soup.

You know, that does sound kind of familiar.

Oh, I think that's just your fevers talking.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Why don't you guys go upstairs and I'll bring you some tea just to make sure you guys feel better.

Our daughter, she is just too good to us.

I really am.

Oh, Lizzie, please tell Gordo how nice it was to meet his grandmother.

She's quite a character.

Okay.

Oh, yeah, we'll be grounding you and Matt as soon as heads are completely cleared up.

You know, for messing up the house and taking advantage of us while we were sick.

Great.

Ah, those kids.

Just when you think you've gotten away with something Who am I kidding? I'll never get away with anything as long as I live.

-Do I have to take a bite of this, really? -Yes.

I do? What do you call this stuff again? You guys are feeling sick? I think we jumped a couple of cues.

You and Grandpa sang that karaoke duet on that karaoke machine? You and Grandpa Jack sung that duet on a karaoke machine? Grandpa Jack? I don't know.

See what I mean about the foot footblick It looks like your -Hi, kids.

-Guess what.

Your dad and I Go back.

He's got so much chocolate in his mouth! Are we filming all like this?
Post Reply