01x03 - Cheese Your Own Adventure/Diffusing Your Lunch

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

♪ One, two, three! ♪

[robot] The Oober Doober

Academy Career Fair...

The future is now--

[stuttering on

"Ow! Ow! Ow..."]

[powers down]

[busy crowd chatter]

[growl]

[busy crowd chatter]

Wow!

The career fair is

an exciting place.

Yeah.

Look at this guy!

Oh, I'm no plumber.

Just a fan of the craft.

Whoa!

What is THAT?

This, Kirbie,

is a machine that can predict

what a student will do

for a living.

I call it...

The Future Projector!

...It also dispenses brochures.

-Cool!

-Wow!

[gasp]

Care to give it a try?

[giggle]

Yes, I do care... to.

[whirring and beeping]

[Burt]

Whoa!

Awesome!

I'm a spy!

...Whose first mission is

to repair his own pants.

[gasp]

[whirring and beeping]

[fanfare, crowd cheering,

then fireworks]

[fanfare, crowd cheering,

then fireworks]

I'm a diplomat

who single-handedly

brokers intergalactic peace...

Let's go stop some fights!

Wow.

If their lives are that cool,

mine's gonna be epic!

[whirring and beeping]

[jackhammer running]

Cheese miner?

I'm gonna be a cheese miner?

Your machine's

gotta be busted.

Oh, not at all!

It's in top working order,

and guaranteed

. percent accurate.

Then I'm gonna apply

myself like never before

and change my future forever!

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

I need to try your

machine again.

Well, I doubt there'll

be much of a change

from minutes ago.

[chuckle]

[whirring and beeping]

[jackhammer running]

[growl]

But I tried so hard!

Is there no way someone

can change the future?

Why, of course there is!

There is?

Someone with an

unfavorable future

could negatively affect

the future of his

or her friends.

Yes!

[laugh]

[Burt roars,

others shriek]

I could bring them down too?

So, what are ya gonna be?

King of space?

Sports legend?

Dirty politician?

Famous chef?

Brand ambassador?

Social-media influencer

for verifying things?

Kindergarten teacher?

Alien groomer-

slash-action hero?

Uh, I gotta use the bathroom.

[Burt snores]

Well, if Mybad says I'll

mess up my friends' lives

by not working in

a cheese mine...

[groan]

[snoring]

[belch]

[snore]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

[fart]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Herby?

Huh.

-I wonder where he is.

-No need to wonder!

I'm a secret agent,

and on the case.

Awww!

Well, the gouda is over there,

and the Havarti is down there.

And the blue cheese...

Well, the location

of the blue cheese

is on a need-to-know

basis only.

What if I need to know?

Well, when that happens...

I'll tell you it's

right below us.

So you take your

time card here,

and you punch it like this.

The more you punch...

...the more it looks

like Swiss cheese.

[chuckle]

I came up with that.

That's why I'm, uh...

That's why I'm the boss.

And no snackin' on the job!

I'm watchin' ya.

[both]

Herby?

Herby?

Herby!

♪ Workin' in the cheese mines

Workin' in the cheese mines ♪

♪ Workin' in the

cheese mines... ♪

[rumble]

Herbert, would ya keep it down!

Number one cheese mine rule is

no shouting.

The mines are very

sensitive to sound.

Sorry.

-Softer.

-[quiet] Sorry.

-Little softer.

-[whispering] Sorry.

Shhh.

[nearly silent]

Sorry.

Apology accepted.

[laugh]

Impressive!

Thanks.

So when I can start

using the cheese drill?

Wow.

First day and already

asking for the cheese drill.

[laugh]

It takes years to work

your way up to cheese driller.

Isn't that right, Jerry?

[laugh] "Jerry."

Very funny.

Shhh!

You should stop laughing.

Jerry here has

seniority over you.

Yeah...

Burt!

Burt!

I'm busy doin' spy work, Kirbie.

I just talked to Mybad,

and he said Herby was devastated

by his future projection.

I think he ran away.

Whaaaa?!

Oh, that actually makes this

otherwise-confusing

clue I found--

and just accidentally sewed

into my pants-- make sense.

A brochure!

"Dear Kirbie and Burt:

"I've run away to save you

from my cheesy future.

Love, Herby."

If only it said where he went.

[yelp]

"You're not on

a road to nowhere--

You're on a road to

the cheese mines."

Do you know

what this means?

[grunt]

Yes...

...But you say it first.

Herby is at the cheese mines!

Exactly!

Let's go save him!

[grunt]

[long sigh]

[laugh]

You call that a defeated sigh?

THIS is a defeated sigh...

[overly-long, exaggerated sigh,

verging on a howl or bellow]

[overly-long, exaggerated sigh,

verging on a howl or bellow]

[overly-long, exaggerated sigh,

verging on a howl or bellow]

[overly-long, exaggerated sigh,

verging on a howl or bellow]

Thanks, Jerry.

I appreciate the compliment.

Now, do me a favour

and watch the kid

while I go take a nap

on a pile of ricotta.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

Herby!

Kirbie? Burt!

What're you guys doing here?

-You can't be here!

-Herby, please.

You don't have to work here.

You're meant to be our leader.

[sigh]

I'm done with leading.

I'd rather work

in the cheese mines

than take you guys

down with me.

You're both meant

for great things!

Herby, we'd way rather

be friends with you

than have a future.

We need our leader back!

May I help you?

We're here to take

our friend home.

Yeah, he doesn't belong here!

That's where you're wrong.

Once a cheese miner...

always a cheese miner.

[gulp]

Mm, this ain't bad!

Mind if I chip some away

for myself?

Oh no.

It's already happening!

[chewing]

Get outta here!

I'm no good for you!

You're shouting!

I told you

there's no shouting!

The mine can't take

the shouting!

["shouting" echoes]

Oh, look what you've

gone and done now.

We're doomed!

[gasp]

Herby, you saved me!

See?

You ARE a leader!

You bet I am!

[♪♪♪]

Now let's get outta here!

You got it, pal.

Wendel!

You comin'?

[gnawing sound]

It was self defense!

He was gonna do

the same to me!

You all saw!

[Herby]

Follow me...

Back to the academy!

[all shrieking]

[scream]

[♪♪♪]

Everyone in!

[♪♪♪]

[all screaming]

[all screaming]

We're gonna make it!

[gasp]

[Burt]

[fart] What are we going to do?!

Everyone, lean back!

[Kirbie screams]

[all scream]

[crash]

You did it!

And you're fired.

You will NEVER work in

a cheese mine again.

You hear that?

I'll never work in

a cheese mine again!

[sigh]

Now let's go home.

[all]

Yay!

[awkward "Yay..."]

[Wendel whimpers]

[belch]

-Gross!

-Take what ya get.

[belch]

Gross.

Take what ya get.

[belch]

Noodles, hot sauce,

and grapes...

How do you come up

with these entrées?

I let the funnel

work its magic.

[flies buzz]

Lady lunch,

do not let me down.

[belch]

A yogurt and two olives.

Not bad, Herb.

Kirbie, it's about

to get even better...

[bell]

Yay!

Trading is open!

I got olives!

Who wants to trade for olives?

-I need fries!

-I need ketchup!

[bell]

Wooo! What a rush!

How'd you do?

Pancake, mayonnaise,

and pepperoni.

[gasp] I'm gonna

pretend it's a pizza!

[chomp]

[spewing]

'Kay, it didn't work.

There you are, Burt!

What did you get?

How'd you score that?

I make my own lunch.

Why don't we make ours?

Pfft!

No way.

Trading makes

the food taste better.

You're not just eating food--

You're eating victory!

So, what'd you win?

See it and be jealous...

[Kirbie]

A mustard packet?

This isn't just

a mustard packet.

It's... a beginning.

I give you...

The ultimate sandwich.

It contains every

food group known to man--

and a few that aren't.

[chuckle]

I vow to spend

every lunch building it,

one piece at a time.

Whoa...

Can I have a bite?

Sure!

The second it's done, you can--

[gulp]

Mm! Not bad.

I can't wait to try

the real thing!

Well, you could just

buy the ingredients

and make it yourself.

"Make it myself?"

Ha!

Not in this life.

I'm gonna trade

my way to the top!

[bell]

I'll give you my bed

for that lettuce!

[bell]

My locker for that cold cut!

[bell]

My TV for that onion!

[bell ringing]

Y'think this is sandwich thing

is gettin' out of hand?

I think it's building character.

I need that bacon!

Take my hide n' seek trophies.

Take my shirt!

He's been at this for days.

Isn't he gonna be hungry?

You could give him your cupcake.

[angelic choir]

No way!

I don't think Herby could

handle flavour like that.

Victory is near!

The only thing missing is...

a pickle.

You've come so far!

Don't let anything

get in your way.

I'd stay and watch...

but I gotta take a poop.

Uh, I don't need to,

but I'll try.

I can't watch this anymore.

I'm so close!

I just need a pickle.

My kingdom for a pickle!

Your kingdom,

you say?

Donnie, please.

I've got nothing left!

Nothing?

Oh, well, in that case...

I'll do your

homework for a month!

Why, so I'll fail?

[imitates buzzer] Try again!

Uh...

[gasp]

[yelp]

You can have my nose hair!

-Ew, no!

-Well, have it anyway.

I don't even know

what it's for.

Ugh, barf!

It's obvious you have

nothing I want--

except...

[angelic choir]

That would sweeten the deal.

But...

-That's Burt's cupcake.

-So?

I can't betray

my friend like that.

But on the other hand--

Pickllllle...

[Herby gasps]

You've come so far!

Don't let anything

get in your way.

So you think I should?

Yes, and so do you...

And you're me, and I'm you,

and we are we.

And I'm confused.

Five,

four,

three,

two,

one...

Stop!!

Take it!

Take the cupcake.

[both laugh maniacally]

[both laugh maniacally]

Well, this is getting weird.

Okay, later.

That smelt and felt fantastic!

Hey, where'd my cupcake go?

Huh? Oh. [chuckle]

About that.

Well, there's good

news and bad news...

The good news is

I finished my sandwich!

Wow...

Yeah, amazing.

Where's my cupcake?

Well, the bad news is...

I had to trade it--

for the pickle.

[others gasp]

Herby, how could you?

Well you said not to let

anything get in my way.

I did?

I did!

Did I?

I'll get you another one, Burt.

I promise.

No!

I want that one back!

It was more than

just a cupcake.

It was my friend.

[♪♪♪]

Alright!

[giggle]

Aw, I'm sorry, Burt.

I didn't realize

you two were so close.

Yeah, that and it's

an exploding cupcake.

[both]

Exploding cupcake?!

Yeah, we're talking

supernova class.

What?

Why would you bake that?

Well, that's for me to know.

Alls I can say is if someone

lights the sparkler,

the second that baby

reaches bottom...

[makes expl*si*n sound]

...Boom.

[scream] Donnie!

We have to stop him!

♪ [tense music] ♪

[relaxed sigh]

♪ I am so good ♪

♪ There's nothing

as awesome as me ♪

♪ I am-- ♪

What are you doing?

Where's the cupcake?

Cupcake?

Oh, that thing's long-gone.

-[gasp] He already ate it!

-Give it back, Donnie!

No, I--

[choking]

-[cough]

-Aww, it's just apple mush.

I didn't eat the cupcake.

Ugh!

I traded it to the Donnettes

for their lockers--

Not that it's

any of your business.

[grunt]

[sigh] Don't even

have to redecorate them.

We have to find

the Donnettes!

♪ [tense music] ♪

-I traded it to Trina...

-Then I traded it to Melina...

No, you traded it to Tina.

Who has it?!!

We traded it to

Professor Mybad

so he'd give

Donnie good grades...

Not that Donnie needs

help getting good grades.

It was my idea.

-No, it was my idea.

-No, it was my idea!

[brawling]

There's no telling

who Mybad traded it to.

Oh, he's giving it

to Skillsworthy.

It's happening now in the...

[ominous voice]

teacher's louuuunge...

Teachers lounge?

Rumour has it no cadet's

ever entered and survived...

But if we don't go in,

we're all doomed!

There must be a way.

[barking]

Beautiful!

How did you know it was

widdle Dumpy's birf-day?

He has one

seven times a year,

so I took a guess.

[barking]

Okay,

I crash through the window,

blow out the sparkler

with this leaf blower,

and everyone's safe.

Oof!

♪ For she's a jolly good puppy

For she's a jolly good puppy ♪

♪ For she's a jolly good

pupppppyyyyy... ♪

♪ That nobody can deny ♪

[thud]

♪ [tense music] ♪

And now some

deep meditation

dedicated to my

precious Dumples.

Okay, I repel down,

grab it,

and you two

yank me back up.

In and out in

three seconds!

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

[scream]

You have to listen to me!

That cupcake will blow the

second the sparkler runs out!

[gasp]

What do we do?

Dumples, this is your cupcake,

so it's your decision

to blow out that sparkler

or destroy us all.

-What?!

-Seriously?

Fair enough.

Come on, sweetie.

I know you love sparklers,

but make the life-

saving choice...

[panting]

[sniffing]

Hm.

It looks like she'd

be willing to

trade you for

what's in the box.

What, this?

Uh, heh, nothing to eat in here.

No siree!

[whine]

Herby!

Your sandwich!

Nothing!

Please, Herby.

This sparkler is

about to go out!

♪ [tense music] ♪

It appears there

is only one thing

Dumples will accept

for a trade.

♪ [tense music] ♪

♪ [tense music] ♪

I spent so much time

building it...

So much love.

But...

...for that cupcake,

I offer to trade you...

The ultimate sandwich!

[gasp]

[pant]

[gobbling]

Did you have to do that

right in front of me?

Awww.

I wanted a bite.

[gasp]

The cupcake!!

It's about to blow!!

[Burt]

Nooooooo!!

[gulp]

[others scream]

[chew]

Burt, are you okay?

[gulp]

More than okay.

Aw, so satisfied!

Mmm!

But what about the blast?

Total flavor expl*si*n...

just like I hoped!

Wait, was that not clear?

[flatline]

[belch]

Three!

[♪♪♪]

Three!

[♪♪♪]

Three!

[♪♪♪]

Three!

[♪♪♪]

Three!

[♪♪♪]

Three!

[♪♪♪]

Three!