01x09 - Flying at the Speed of Love/Feathership of the Wing

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

♪ One, two, three! ♪

♪ [slow, relaxing hula music] ♪

♪ [slow, relaxing hula music] ♪

[sigh]

Nothing like a Sunday drive

on a Saturday morning.

So peaceful,

so quiet, so--

Look ouuuuut!!

[crash]

[horn]

[thud]

[Woody]

Whoa-oa!

Everyone okay?!

Better than okay!

This is the first time

someone crashed into ME.

I finally get to give the other

driver a piece of my mind.

[Woody]

You said it, Herb.

Hey, what's the big idea?

You could've really hurt--

[gasp]

Susanne?!

[Susanne]

Woody?

Of all the ships

in all the galaxies

to run directly into...

[awkward fake cough]

[Woody]

Oh, uh, sorry.

Amigos, meet Susanne,

my, uh, ex-girlfriend.

Girlfriend?!

-Hello!

-I'm the Burt one.

[Susanne]

It's very nice to meet you all.

Sorry about the fender bender.

Hey, so why'd you guys break up?

[Woody]

Dude! Put it on simmer.

[Susanne]

Well, this is awkward.

Maybe this is a good time

to excuse myself

to do a quick

diagnostics check.

[siren]

[Woody]

Truth is...

Hold on!

[starts sexy R&B music]

Go on.

[Woody] Truth is I never really

figured out why she left.

One day I woke up

and her oil patch

was all that remained.

Maybe if I could've showed her

how I cared for her,

she would've never left.

I'd give my left muffler

to relive those days.

We had some great times.

[distant siren]

[Susanne]

Say, with all the sirens,

it's feeling a bit dangerous

out here in the open.

Do you know of somewhere

we could hang out

'til it calms down?

[Woody]

I work for the Academy.

-I guess we could...

-[Susanne] Sounds perfect!

[engines start]

[siren]

[Woody]

Good as new.

[embarrassed chuckle]

[Susanne] Thanks for

the repairs, everyone.

Say, I have an excellent idea.

Why don't you, uh,

stay for a bit, Susanne?

Yeah, we're really

fun to be around.

-And Woody still likes you!

-[others] Burt!!

[Susanne] [laugh] It would be

nice to lay low for a bit

and let the cover-up

paint dry.

Here's the plan.

She stays here,

you fall back in love...

Oh!

And have little, witty

spaceship babies...

If that's how it

works for spaceships.

I'm pretty sure that's

EXACTLY how it works!

Uh, hey, Susanne?

Uh, Woody wants to

ask you on a date.

[Susanne]

Oh... Really?

[Woody]

Guys!

Well, I guess I wouldn't mind

gettin' some fresh air.

[Susanne] Well, it still seems

a little hectic out there...

Police are looking for a red

sports-ship named Susanne...

[Susanne]

Y'know, I've always been more of

a home-cooked meal type of gal

anyways, right?

That's perfect!

Dinner here at chez Woody.

I'll get the candles...

-I'll get my ukulele!

-I'll get nothing!

[Susanne]

Well this is fancy.

[Woody] Yeah, the kids

are pretty cool...

And so are you.

[Susanne]

Oh...

And what'll it be for

the lovely couple?

[Woody]

Premium ultra-- for both of us.

Ahh, excellent choice!

...And also it's

the only thing we have.

[Susanne]

Ah, Woody!

This reminds me of

old, wonderful times...

But things weren't perfect.

There were so many things

you forgot when

we were together.

-Like what?

-[Susanne] Oh, y'know--

Birthdays, anniversaries,

holidays...

So many gifts un-given.

[Susanne]

Yes, now that you mention it...

Gimme a moment to

take this all in.

[Woody] I'm honoured

you'd take the time.

You did great, kiddos!

Just... wish I could remember

forgetting those things.

Annnnd here's your bill.

Thank you!

Come back soon!

If there's a bad time

for a sandwich,

I haven't seen it!

[chewing]

[Susanne]

Hello, Burt...

[gasp]

You can't have it!

Oh, hi, Susan.

[Susanne] Hey, I might just

have some chips in here

to go with that sandwich.

I like chips.

Ohh...

But they better not

be salt and vinegar.

Those ones make

my gums stingy!

[Susanne]

Oh, will you look at that...

My diary,

containing my

innermost gift wishes.

...Nooo chips.

Okay, bye!

[Susanne sighs]

Oopsy-daisy!

Oh, how I wish Woody knew

of all the presents

he forgot to give me.

If only he had the chance

to make things right...

Yeah, that'd be cool.

[Susanne sighs]

[revs engine]

Aaaanyway, I better be going.

Here's your book thingy.

[Susanne sighs]

Oh, you just hold onto it

for safe keeping.

[tire screech sound]

[chomp]

[Woody]

You took Susanne's diary?

It was supposed to be chips.

[Woody] We've gotta

get it back to her!

Kirbie, no peeking.

I'm not peeking.

I'm reading.

And it's okay

because it's for love,

and love obeys no laws.

Good enough for me!

Lemme see.

[Herby] This is full of neat

stuff she's always wanted.

Look!

[Woody] Plasma fuel from

the toxic bogs of Noxus Seven?

A turbo charger from

the space wreck

in the Neptunian

asteroid belt?

...And a proton engine block?

Wow, Susanne sure

loves things from

exclusively

dangerous places.

And what better way to make up

for all the occasions you forgot

than by remembering them

all at once!

[Woody]

Ummm...

Yes!

And with our help,

you'll be back

together forevahh!

Whaddaya say, Woody?

Time for "Operation Love Ship"

to set sail?

Alternate name: "Operation

Heart w*r Laser Awesome!"

[Woody]

Sounds like a plan.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

[tentacle creature growling]

[Kirbie]

Almost got it...

[grunt]

Oof!

[♪♪♪]

[dog barks,

Burt screams]

[scream]

[Woody]

Thanks for helping me

get all these gifts

for Susanne, buds.

Any time...

[cough]

Now go win her back!

[Woody]

Susanne?

Susanne?

Susanne...?

Susanne?

Oh, there you are!

[Susanne]

Oh!

You're back early.

[Woody]

Yeah, I just, uh,

thought you might want this...

fancy new engine block!

[Susanne] Woody, you've

brought me such perfect gifts!

-It's like you read my dia--

-Your mind!

[nervous chuckle]

Definitely not your diary. Nooo!

["backing up" signal]

[machines whirring]

[machines whirring]

[Woody] Are those

blueprints for a...

[gasp] Susanne!

You're not--

[Susanne]

Sorry, Woody...

But I had no choice.

[tire screech sound]

Surpriiiise!

Never mind.

Where's she going?

[Woody] I hate to

break it to you, pals,

but those presents we got her

were the parts she needed

to build an illegal warp drive!

[gasp]

Wow, and I thought

the cake was a surprise.

She did what?

To who?!

We have to stop her

before she gets away--

because of us!

[♪♪♪]

[Woody honks his horn]

Stop, in the name of love!

[Woody]

Susanne, wait!

[Susanne]

I'm sorry, Woody,

but I'm a wanted ship!

This warp drive will help me

stay ahead of the police!

♪ [fast-paced music] ♪

[slow, calm music]

Huh?

[starts siren]

You used Woody!

And us!

You said you had chips!

[Susanne] I'm sorry to

get you involved, Woody,

but I just couldn't

do it on my own.

It was the only way!

[Woody] I would've found

a way to help, Susanne!

You didn't need to

do it like this!

[Susanne]

[sigh] Goodbye, Woody...

[beep]

[computer voice]

Illegal warp drive activated.

[Kirbie]

She's gonna get away with it!

[Woody]

Susanne, wait!

I... I...

I love you.

[beeping]

[crash]

-Do you mean it, Woody?

-[Woody] No, Susanne.

I'll always care for you,

but I said that to stop you,

because I couldn't

let my amigos

take the fall for

getting you that engine.

As my friend once said,

"It was the only way."

[siren]

Well, if it isn't

speedy Susanne.

Yeah, we've been

after you for years.

[giggle]

So has Woody.

Well, time to go to jail.

[tire screech sound]

[Kirbie]

We're sorry for pushing you

to win Susanne back.

[Woody]

Are you kidding?

It was the most excitement

I've had in a long time.

And besides,

it wasn't all that bad.

Now let's go for

a Sunday drive.

♪ [relaxing hula music] ♪

[crash]

[record scratch]

[Woody gasps]

Janice?!

Maybe Donnie didn't

hear his alarm

because he's fighting

a pincerhead in his dreams!

Maybe he got food poisoning.

He's always eating

the strangest things.

[fly buzzing]

Or maybe who cares?

[gulp,

belch]

Attennn-tion!

Students,

Donnie Dewayne

is participating

in the academy student

exchange program

with the Wa Wa Woo

Waterfowl Conservatory.

[wailing]

Ooh!

An exchange program?

That means that

one of their students

comes to our school, right?

That's what I'm

trying to tell you!

This fine young...

man...

will be spending

the next two days with us.

Please give an Academy

welcome to d*ck Duck.

[clapping]

[student]

You suck!

Now, I need a volunteer to

show d*ck around campus.

Oh, oh, oh!

Over here!

Oh, oh, oh! Hello!

Hi!, hi! Right over here!

[sigh]

Fine.

-Kirbie, he's all yours.

-[gasp]

[bell ring]

Hi!

I'm Kirbie, and these

are my best friends,

and your new

second-best friends,

because I'm your

new best friend!

Anyway, this is

Herby and Burt.

-Put'er there, pal.

-[annoyed quack]

Don't leave me hangin'.

What do you do as a greeting

where you're from?

Ow! Ow!

Okay, ow, ow!

Ooh, he's confident.

Ooh! Bit aggressive. Ow!

Ooh. Ugh!

Eee!

That's an odd hello,

new friend.

Come on,

we'll show you around campus.

This state-of-the-art gym

is where the most physically fit

students of today

train to become

the heroes of tomorrow!

[giggling]

[gasping and groaning in pain]

[scream]

[gasp]

[amused quacking]

And that's our gym.

[nervous chuckle]

Let's move on to the lab.

C'mon, d*ck.

[wailing]

So lifelike...

But don't worry, I bet Donnie's

havin' a great time.

[wailing]

Ugh, does anyone

know when lunch is?

'Cause I'm getting

a bit peckish.

[quacking]

Oh yeah, well,

thanks for your help.

Glad I brought my own snack.

[chewing, gulping]

Mm!

[chewing]

[quack]

What?

...Oh.

[terrified screech]

[quacking multitude]

Some of the smartest

students at our academy

graduate to become

leaders in interplanetary

health care.

Cool, huh?

Now, d*ck...

May I call you d*ck?

What is the origin

of the name "d*ck"?

-Do you like swimming?

-[frightened gasp]

[grunt]

C'mon, guys!

We gotta keep this

friendship train rolling!

[train whistle]

Those are the washrooms

over there

for your ones, and twos,

and sometimes threes,

and those are our lockers...

[gasp] And-- oh, this is

my personal favorite...

-The gum wall!

-[Herby clears throat]

I dunno, I'm not so

sure about this guy.

Relax!

We have to remember

it's hard making friends

at a new school.

Besides,

who is nine-and-oh

when it comes to

making new friends?

That's right--

me!

I'm sure his kooky behavior

will come to an end

once he settles in

as my number ten.

What happened?

d*ck decided to contribute me

to the gum wall.

It's less fun than it looks.

[laugh]

You're funny, Burt.

[excited panting]

Oh, right, I guess you aren't

signed up for the cafeteria yet.

[affirmative quack]

Here, take my lunch...

[nervous chuckle]

We only get grilled

cheese once a month,

and it's my

all-time favorite.

[smash]

[gasp, growl]

Are those grubs?

[♪♪♪]

-Okay, I'm done.

-Yup.

So you're just giving up

on making a new friend

'cause he's a messy eater?

No, I just don't think

he wants to be OUR friend.

Of course he wants

to be our friend!

He's so sweet...

I'm sure that's

a sign of friendship.

Whatever you say,

Wrong-o!

Good luck with that.

Okay, but mark my words,

he will be my friend after

these two days are over,

and my friend alone!

Mm!

Mind if I try

one of these bad boys?

[grunt] Ow!

[forced chuckle, grunt]

[gagging]

Okay, well that was a fun day.

And it's going to

get even better!

I convinced Colonel Cork

to let you bunk with me.

[annoyed quack]

We just have to find a cot,

or a, uh...

That's my bed...

Hm.

[quacking]

Okay...

Okay.

[forced laugh,

coughing]

Huh?

But... where am I

supposed to sleep?

Morning, d*ck!

I was up all night

thinking about our friendship,

'cause I really need--

I mean WANT-- it to work.

[grunt] And I feel we are

monumentally close to

becoming best friends for life.

So, to commemorate

this special occasion,

I made this for you.

It's covered in our

best memories.

You look smashing, pal!

[strained laugh]

[Herby] I have to

hand it to you, Kirbie.

When you want to make a friend,

you make a friend.

Even if that friend

isn't very friendly.

Nothing worth doing

is ever easy.

And that hat is going to be

a special bond

d*ck and I share

for a long, long time.

[d*ck pooping]

See?

With a little perseverance,

patience, and loss of sleep,

true friendship will

always prevail!

Yeah, I think your friend just

pooped on your special bond.

[gasp]

[Kirbie snoring]

[students chanting

"d*ck! d*ck! d*ck!"]

[students chanting

"d*ck! d*ck! d*ck!"]

You are one crazy duck, pal!

[smug quack]

Come on, fellas.

I got a fun feelin'

that duck is up to no good.

d*ck made new friends?

Friends that aren't me?

[stammer] But how?

But, why?!

Oh man, Skillsworthy's

gonna go duck wild

at that prank

you laid out, d*ck.

[lackeys cackle]

Kirbie, I hear that you've taken

our exchange student

under YOUR wing.

[laugh]

Well, if anyone can show him

what a true friend is,

it's you.

Ooh!

Oh my goodness, lucky me.

Someone left a buffet

right there on my desk.

[Skillsworthy gobbles food]

Oh no, that's...

that's not tuna salad.

Ugh, I better have some water

to wash that taste ou--

[gag, spit]

Oh!

-That's certainly not water!

-[gasp]

That is it!

I will show that

trouble-making d*ck Duck

what he's missing out on

if it's the last thing I do!

d*ck DUCK WILL BE MY FRIEND!!

Yeah!

You go, girl!

[Skillsworthy]

Applesauce in my slippers?!

Put down that

spray paint, d*ck.

No friend of mine

is a property defacer!

He can do whatever

he likes.

And besides,

he's pretty good.

Oh!

[d*ck's lackeys cackle]

I've never not

made a friend,

and I intend to

keep it that way.

This is now a "friend-in!"

I will not let go of your leg

until you, d*ck Duck,

agree to be my friend.

[quacking in disagreement]

Be my friend, d*ck.

Be my friend.

Be my friend, d*ck...

This friendly girl

is weirding me out!

Let's scram!

Ow! Be my-- ow! ...friend!

Ow! d*ck!

[English accent]

Let go of my leg!

[gasp]

TALKING DUCK!!

You can speak?!

Yes, and I believe

Aristotle once said,

"Wishing to be friends

is quick work,

but friendship is

a slow ripening fruit."

I totally understand...

friend!

No, you don't!

Why would I want to be

friends with you?

Well, I don't want

to brag, but--

You changed my lodging plans

without asking me,

you pretended to like

grubs to impress me,

AND you didn't stand up

for your real friends

when I was unkind to them!

Who does that?!

You care more about

your friend record

than you do about

being a true friend.

Later, dweebs.

But...

But I tried so hard!

I'm a total failure...

[sobbing]

Aw, don't be like that, Kirb.

You got carried away

and tried to force someone

to be your friend.

But you're gonna win some,

and you're gonna lose some.

That's life.

And who needs that duck

when you have two

BFFs right here?

Where?

Oh, right.

We even made you a hat.

[gasp]

A friendship hat?

I love it!

You guys are the best.

And YOU can share this one.

I rescued it from the garbage.

[flies buzzing]

What?

I licked it off first.

[sniff]

Or did I?

[shivering and gasping]

So...

hungry...

Out of hard boiled eggs...

[whimper]

That's it!

I'm going home!

[egg cracking sound]

Uh oh.

[angry quacking,

Donnie screaming]