04x03 - Parent Death Trap ; To Grandmother's House We Go

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Creepshow". Aired: September 26, 2019 - present.*
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Fictional Creepshow comics come to life in this horror series.
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04x03 - Parent Death Trap ; To Grandmother's House We Go

Post by bunniefuu »

My name is Lyle VelJohnson

and I was born alone.

Sure, I have a mother, and a father,

but they are more interested

in anything else than me.

I played alone, ate dinner alone,

got tortured at school

and realized that it wasn't me

all of those years.

It was my parents.

You ungrateful little sh*t!

We go out of our way to find

a date for you for the prom

and this is how you behave?

Violet Meyers? Violet Meyers!

She's the most popular girl in school.

Then you should be thanking us.

Learn to accept

a little charity, Lyle.

- Hmm.

- Or at least pity.

I don't want to have

to get you a hooker.

Hm.

Why do you always do this to me?

You always try to control my life.

Well, if we thought you had the

guts to talk to her instead of

just spying on her with that

telescope in your bedroom

maybe we wouldn't have

to get involved.

Why do you even care?

No son of mine is gonna be

stuck at home on prom night!

You're a VelJohnson, dammit!

We're men of action.

Men of action.

Ever since the first, VelJohnson

bought his way onto the Mayflower.

We settle for nothing but the best.

And I'll be damned if our family

bloodline dies with you.

At this rate we may as well

give your inheritance to the cat.

Mmmhmm.

Isn't that right, Churchill?

You love that stupid cat

more than you love me.

It earned our love.

What have you ever done?

I hate you. I hate this family.

Are you pissing on my

Get out of here, Churchill! Out!

Ah! You little sh*t!

Churchill, oh, Churchill dear!

Lyle, have you seen Churchy?

Uh, no. Not since last night.

What on earth are you wearing?

It's my outfit for prom.

Uh

- You look like a serial k*ller.

- Hmm.

I look cool.

Not wearing that you don't.

What have you gotten into?

Please don't touch me.

Or what?

Please. He hasn't got the guts.

You don't know what

I'm capable of doing.

You better be capable of

going back to your room

and getting changed.

Your mother already picked out

your clothes.

This is what I'm wearing.

Hey!

Go!

You don't want to keep Violet waiting.

Meow, meow, meow. Churchy!

Psst, psst, psst.

There, don't you look handsome?

Now, that's a VelJohnson.

You and Violet might even

win prom king and queen.

Oh, they already voted on that.

Then demand a recount, dammit.

That's what a man would do.

Oh, it's 7:00.

She'll be here any minute.

Places, everyone!

Stand up straight.

Don't slouch, boy.

This is Viviane

Voicemail, again.

The Meyers are avoiding us, Archibald.

No, darling.

They're not avoiding us,

they're avoiding him.

Oh!

- Hello.

- Gloria.

Viviane, how lovely to hear from you.

I wish I could say the same.

We are wondering when Violet might

Oh, she's gone.

Oh, she's already left?

Two hours ago.

Two hours ago?

Mmmhmm.

But we had a deal.

Oh.

Archibald and I made

a very sizable investment

to your husbands company.

Stood up.

No one has ever stood up a VelJohnson.

Of course.

What else did I expect from my son.

Who would ever want to go out

with such a weak, stupid,

sniveling little weirdo like you?

Oh really?

What are you gonna do? Hit me?

You don't have the guts.

I've had enough!

Agh!!

Uhhh.

You idiot!

It was your job to sharpen the sword!

You can't even k*ll me right!

What on earth have you done?

You've ruined my entire

living room set!

You little sh*t!

Shut up. Shut up!

Ahhhhh!!!!!

Who's there?

Hello?

Dad?

Mom?

You

Don't think you're gonna

get away with this, do you?

You were always an emotionally

stunted, spoiled brat.

You're a screw-up.

How dare you k*ll us?

No!

Out of bed boy!

That's no way to seize the day.

Your snoring's getting worse.

When my father built this

fortune on 15 minutes

I think you might have sleep

apnea like your great uncle, Roy.

Oh, really?

You're never gonna get anywhere

doing that kind of stuff.

Go!

Oh god, you are a fat slob.

Don't forget the whitener.

Women, they notice a smile.

What are you doing?

You're making a mess.

Look at the mess you're making.

Ew. Lyle, your teeth

are just disgusting.

It's a waste of the water bill!

Oh, you're never gonna find

a girlfriend

when you're dressed like that.

Jesus.

Oh.

Wolf shirt again?

Not really a chick magnet, boy.

How about a nice button up?

We can go shopping.

Feel free to use the card.

As if he doesn't already.

- Don't we know it.

- Really.

Carbs, carbs, more carbs.

Oh, you're never gonna get

a woman with that beer belly.

Oh, look. She's pretty.

Quick, go and talk to her!

Dammit boy, you k*lled me and

now you're k*lling my gene pool!

Ah!

Honey, did you just

Patrick Swayze that box?

I think I did!

Oh!

Will you shut up?!

Scared another woman away.

I'm here to shop, not talk to women.

You never talk to women.

Because you're always talking to me.

Well, maybe we could finally move on

if you could just find

a girl and settle down.

Oh, look. There's another one.

Hello!

Is that Violet Meyers?

Violet!

Oh, she's got a lot of nerve-

I'd like to give her

a piece of my mind.

shopping here.

I thought she moved to New York.

Wow. Even more beautiful

now than in high school.

I wonder if she remembers me.

Don't even think about it!

What? You're always saying

how I need to talk to girls.

Not this one.

It's her fault we're dead!

No, it's my fault you're dead.

Uh, she saw me.

Run!

- Oh

- Are you alright?

Yeah, I'm ok.

Oh my god! Lyle?

It's me, Violet Meyers.

I used to live across the lake

from your family.

Oh, I, uh, I know. Hi.

Came to mock our family more?

- We remember you, harlot.

- Mmmhmm.

I well, I just wanted to

- Drop dead.

- Go to hell!

Apologize for standing you up

at prom in high school.

Oh, please. That was like

four years, three months,

two days ago.

Really, it was no big deal, actually.

- No big deal?

- Unbelievable!

Your mom gave my mom an earful.

Said that you were devastated.

Did she?

God, your parents must just hate me.

How are they?

Don't tell her we're dead!

They're dead.

- Oh!

- Agh!

Oh. I'm so sorry.

Not as much as me.

I can't believe you're going

on a date with that snake.

She's poison, boy.

- Hm.

- Hm.

We're only looking out

for your best interest.

You mean your best interest?

I've been waiting for this date

my entire life

and all you care about

is the VelJohnson name.

Oh, that's a good look.

Yes, wear that one.

I really need this, ok?

I've never you know.

Oh, we know.

So then leave me alone for once.

It's not like women just come

knocking on my front door.

Afternoon.

I'm Special Agent Ella,

this is Special Agent Mann.

Is this the VelJohnson residence?

Uh, yes. That's me. I live here.

Anyone else?

- Who is it?

- This better not be a charity.

Uh, no. No one.

What about Gloria and Archibald

VelJohnson?

Oh, my parents?

Yes, they live here too.

But they're on vacation.

In Switzerland.

Hm.

Do you happen to know

if they invested in Midwich Financial?

Who are you, the tax man!

Well, that is none of your business!

Lyle, tell her to leave!

They don't really talk to me.

Have your parents give me a call

when they're back from vacation.

Will do.

Have yourself a good day.

You too.

How long do you think you can

keep up this vacation charade

before the IRS gets wise?

I told you boy, you need to get smart.

You need to cover your tracks.

You need to move our money

into your name.

Mmmhmm.

I need to go on a date.

I'm surprised you came out with me.

What?

Did you think I was

gonna stand you up?

Ouch. Ok. I deserve that. Fair.

I was just some spoiled rich kid

back in high school.

But, I've done a lot of

growing up since then.

I guess losing everything

will do that to you.

So, you didn't win prom queen?

You really don't know, do you?

It was like the gossip of the town.

I don't really talk to anyone.

My dad turned out to be a con man.

I knew it! I knew he was a fraud!

He ran a ponzi scheme.

Midwich Financial or something stupid.

Oh, right. Yeah, I think

my parents were investors.

Everyone's parents were investors.

He scammed this whole town

out of millions.

We lost everything in court.

I came back from New York

to try and help him, but

He was a wreck.

He just disappeared.

Presumed dead by su1c1de.

My mother drank herself to death

shortly after.

Well, if I had a family like

hers I'd k*ll myself too.

Mom!

Moms are so tough to lose.

I know.

Not like this.

I've never told anyone this before,

but my parents were m*rder*d.

- Are you out of your mind?

- Do you want to go to jail?

By each other.

What?!

They caught each other cheating.

They were both real big sluts.

It was just one orgy.

I don't like talking about it

because it hurts.

Lyle, I'm so sorry.

It's hard for people like us.

Walking through life

with that kind of pain.

But if you find the right person,

it can make it feel like

a walk in the park.

You know, it was really nice

talking to you.

Usually my past scares guys off.

Well, I'm not a guy who scares easily.

Oh, my god.

Ahhhhh

Psst! Now, go. Come on, get!

Get up! Come here. Come on!

So, this is where it all happened?

Where what happened? Nothing happened!

Where I stood you up for prom.

Oh. Right.

Well, hopefully you think of

something else

that happened here.

Even if it was four years too late.

It was worth the wait.

Lyle, that investigator is back!

Run for the hills, boy.

Are you expecting someone?

Uh Just wait here a sec.

Good morning, Mr. VelJohnson.

Parents back from vacation yet?

Vacation? What the hell are you

In Switzerland, as I recall.

Right. Switzerland.

Yes. My parents extended their stay.

They probably won't be back

until next year.

At the earliest.

Nice property. Beautiful lake.

Yeah? Never really noticed it much.

I get seasick, so just looking

at the lake makes me sick.

Well, let me know

when your parents pop up.

Of course.

So your parents are on vacation?

You told me they were dead.

Was that a lie just so

you could get close to me?

No. Not exactly.

What does that mean?

You wouldn't understand.

Oh.

So now you think I'm stupid?

Yes. I mean, no.

Ok. Well what exactly happened

to your parents then, Lyle?

It's complicated.

Violet, wait!

Bravo!

We certainly don't need to worry

about her anymore.

It's for the best, my boy.

She wasn't good enough for you.

- Wasn't good enough for me?

- Hm.

My entire life,

you kept telling me how I wasn't

good enough for anything.

I wasn't good enough for school.

I wasn't good enough for sports.

I wasn't a good enough son.

But now I finally meet someone

who makes me happy

and she isn't good enough for me?

What's even the point anymore?

What is he doing?

I should have done this

a long time ago.

No!

Lyle, please don't.

We're so sorry.

We don't want you to end up like us.

Dead?

Lifeless.

We only ever cared about

our reputation,

even when it made us unhappy.

We never even thought about

what you wanted.

All I ever wanted was for you

to be proud of who I was.

Not who you wanted me to be.

We are proud of you, son.

You know, I always wanted

to k*ll my old man.

But I never had the guts.

I wasn't a man of action.

Not like you.

Now, go.

Talk to her.

You mean it?

Oh.

When you love someone,

you don't let them go.

You hold onto them.

Forever.

Hey.

When I was a kid, I hated my parents.

I used to wish they were dead.

And when it finally happened,

I didn't feel the sense

of relief, joy and sadness.

I just felt dead.

Cause it was never really them

I hated, it was me.

I guess sometimes I say they're

still alive to protect myself

um, emotionally.

But what I should be

protecting is this.

What I'm trying to say is,

when I'm with you,

I don't feel dead.

The office of the Castlerock

County registrar recorder

hereby grants the license of marriage

to Mr. and Mrs. Lyle

and Violet VelJohnson.

I love the sound of that name.

Whoo.

Now, Gloria, we agreed to leave

Lyle alone on his wedding night.

Oh, alright.

There better be grandchildren

when come back.

Did you ever think about

having a second child?

Oh! Not after Lyle.

The little bastard nearly gnawed

my tits off.

Oh. That wine sure packs a punch.

It's a family vintage.

Special just for this occasion.

Hm.

Come on, let's party like

we're in high school.

I never went to any parties

in high school.

Well that's because you were

a creepy f*cking loser.

What?

Everybody hated you in high school.

You can understand why I stood you up.

I had a reputation to uphold.

I'm a Meyers.

I still have a reputation to uphold.

I don't feel too good.

You'll never understand

how hard it was

when my dad lost everything.

How could you?

You never had to downgrade

your lifestyle.

You kept your money.

You know, it got so bad for us

that in the end,

my parents life insurance policy

was the only money we had left.

They were worth more dead

than they were alive.

Oh! Archibald, they found us.

Well, if that's us, then who's that?

Oh.

Gotcha.

Faking Dad's disappearance was easy.

Everyone already expected him

to take the cowards way out.

Mom was a little more difficult.

She always insisted on

pouring her own drink.

Of course, the money

from their insurance pay out

was bound to dry out

and what was I gonna do?

Get a job?

What? No.

Being wealthy, there's no fun

in working for it.

No hard feelings.

It's just business.

He should be dead by now.

Are you sure poison doesn't expire?

Nonsense. It ages, like a cognac.

Cognac doesn't age, you putz.

What are you two doing here?

I told you to leave me alone

until the job was done.

In a minute the VelJohnson

fortune is going to be ours.

What's so funny?

I k*lled my parents.

Aw, how sweet.

I guess we do have something

in common.

The IRS doesn't know.

Everything is in their name.

Oh, dear.

What does that mean, Daddy?

Well, sweetie, if he hasn't

inherited anything that means

You get nothing.

Lyle, run! Violet k*lled her

Viviane.

Gloria?

Chester!

Archibald.

Lyle!

Daddy, what's happening?

Your in-laws are here.

I think we should be going now.

Uh, what about the money?

I didn't marry this worm

to leave empty-handed.

You k*lled my baby!!!

We almost had her dead to rights.

Now she's just dead.

Sir, I think the other suspect's

coming around.

Mr. VelJohnson, can you speak?

Can you tell us what happened?

Just a few more minutes, Mom.

Hey. What's with the cuffs?

It was Violet. She poisoned me.

Is that why you k*lled her?

She tried to double-cross you

after you helped her

bump off her parents?

What? No.

I only k*lled my parents.

They forgave me.

It's all good.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say will be used

against you in a court of law.

Lyle Lyle can you hear me?

Violet, you came back!

Yes, I did.

And I'm gonna make the rest

of your life a living hell,

you little worm!

I told you

Look at the mess you

got yourself into, boy.

He should be grateful that

she let him go past first base.

How dare you insult

my sweet little Violet?

No! No!!!!!!

I now pronounce you man and wife.

You lucky dog, you.

Ok. Alright. Thanks.

I present Mr. and Mrs. David Higgins.

You're a fool for marrying

this grifter.

You should have stuck

with your own kind.

You better get used to me, sweetie.

You heard what the preacher said.

It's till death do us part, hm?

Hey!

We sadly lay to rest, David Higgins.

Generous husband, loving father.

Successful entrepreneur with a

tremendous passion for hunting.

I will not read Isaiah 57.

You know, he left you everything.

Sweet David.

I don't care about the money.

That's lovely to hear because

I'm his state administrator

and as long as I'm around,

you won't see a penny.

Beyond caring for my granddaughter,

you no good gold-digging hussy.

What in the hell are you

breaking up with me for?

I didn't say I was breaking up

with you, Benny.

I said I'm dumping you.

Thanks, Carla.

Do you mind? This is

a private conversation.

Honey, I've heard it all before.

Meh. Go back to slinging hash.

She's doing you a favor, pal.

Can you believe this?

What in the hell are you

dumping me for?

Mommy, I have to go potty.

Ruby, I told you like a hundred

times to call me Marcia.

Never forget.

I'm only your step-mother.

I'm really much more of a

slightly older sister figure.

Yes, Marcia.

Yeah, see? There you go.

Hey! Hey, Carla

Can you show her to

the powder room please?

Right this way, baby.

Ok, look.

I I mean, what is with

the sudden change of heart?

Hm, let's see.

Uh, maybe since the lumber

tycoon I thought I was dating

turned out to be a broke

Christmas tree farmer.

Sugar daddy my ass.

You could barely afford

that sandwich, let alone me.

Ok. Alright.

So, I exaggerated my dating

profile a little bit.

I still spoil you best I can.

You and I clearly have two

very different definitions

of spoiling, hm?

Look, I am stuck with this brat

since my old man expired.

I need a partner who can

provide for me

the lifestyle that I'm accustomed to.

You know what?

I'll get a second job, baby.

And where would you find

the time, "baby", huh?

When you're not wasting

your life playing pine trees,

you're out all night doing

god only knows what, Benny

So, no, no.

You want me? Stop chasing your tail.

Aim higher and

Get yourself a bigger

bank account, hm?

You know, that greedy disposition

is gonna bite you in the ass

one day, Marcia.

Right in the ass.

You're better off, Benny.

That one there's a real black widow.

Took my brother Earl

for every penny he had

then just up and left him.

He d*ed of a broken heart

thanks to you!

Oh, don't give yourself

a heart att*ck.

You don't want to join your

brother before your time, hm?

Come on, let's go!

Hey, hey, Carla.

Bye, Benny.

Eyes forward.

Don't worry.

She'll get what she has coming to her.

Hello?

Mrs. Higgins?

Yeah. Yeah, who's this?

This is Mrs. Brown

from Enliven credit.

I'm calling in regards to your

revolving card payment.

According to our records

you're three months behind

Ugh!

Oh, Christ! What?!

There's no more cereal.

- Eat the left overs!

- Ok, mommy

Marcia.

Listen!

Hello? This is Wilfred Byrn,

the caretaker for Ms. Belinda Higgins.

I'm looking for Marcia Higgins.

Yeah? This is she.

Ms. Higgins, I'm afraid I have

some bad news.

Yeah, yeah, I bet you do.

Listen, will you kindly tell

that old hag that

Excuse me, miss, I'm sorry to report

that Madame's health has taken a turn.

Meaning?

I'm afraid it's cancer.

She's currently getting treatment,

but her long-term outlook

is looking a bit grim.

Like she's not gonna get better?

Well, there's always the hope.

Sadly, the doctor tells us

that it's only a matter

of months before

She's dead?

I mean, that's so heartbreaking.

She's requested to spend time

with her granddaughter

while she convalesces.

Would it be possible for you

to bring young Ruby

up to Madame's Lake View Estate?

Oh, yeah, hell yeah it would!

I mean I mean, why yes, of course.

I am sure that the little

dickens would just be thrilled

to spend time with her dear

old granny, yeah.

Perfect. How soon can you be here?

Uh, we could leave as early

as tomorrow afternoon?

Splendid. We'll expect to see

you sometime in the evening.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Hey, Wilfred, she does know

that I'm gonna be with

darling Ruby, yeah?

The maid is preparing

the guest house as we speak.

Maid? Ok. Yeah, great, perfect.

Alright, I'll see you tomorrow.

Goodbye.

She's gonna inherit it all.

We're gonna get it all!

I'm gonna be rich!

Oh, thank you god,

thank you! Yes! Yes!

Oh! Kid! Kid!

Come here, pack your bags.

To grandmother's house we go!

Yes!

I got bread and jelly and I even

made Granny some cookies.

- You know how to bake cookies?

- Yeah.

Alright then.

Alright, pick up your doll there.

Alright. Let's go.

I gotta do everything.

Why are we going to Granny's?

Uh, well, the truth is, Ruby,

your granny isn't doing so well.

She's sick?

Yeah, you could say that.

Is she gonna die?

How would I know?

First Mommy d*ed, then Daddy.

If Granny goes to heaven,

you'll be the only family I have.

Yeah. Yeah, don't remind me.

Oh, don't get all weepy.

You have Ethel, huh.

Can you be Ethel's

slightly older sister?

Uh, if you promise to shut up. Yeah.

Forever.

Don't push it.

I know I'm not supposed to say,

but I wish you were my mommy.

Yeah.

Well, I'm not. So, sorry kid.

I'm just not the motherly type,

you know?

It's a beautiful Friday

night up here in Coyote Canyon.

A terrific break from all that

heavy rain we've been having.

Tomorrow's highs will be in the 70s,

lows in the 50s.

Let's get back to the music.

Ruby, listen.

Did, did you see that?

No.

Ok. It's Coyote Canyon.

It's a coyote, that's all.

It's a coyote. Ok.

Ok.

I hate this day.

Alright.

Ok, come on. Oh, this

is not happening!

Oh! Ok.

Marcia!

Sh! Hold on!

- Marcia!

- Yes, yes!

Marcia, behind you!

- Um

- Marcia!

Marcia!

Not tonight, pal!

Come here.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Where did he go?

What is it?

I don't know. I don't know.

Shh. I can assure you

that was no coyote.

Oh god. Okay.

Don't cry, we're gonna be ok, alright?

Because you know why?

Cause you and I,

we're tough broads, right?

Ok.

Oh, my god!

Ruby!

Ruby?

Ruby!

Ruby!

Ruby!

Help! Help me!

Help me!

- Marcia!

- Benny? Benny!

Oh, Benny, you have to help me!

Radio the, radio the Sheriff!

What in the hell are you doing

out here, girl?

We have to find Ruby!

We gotta get outta here!

What are you talking about?

There was a thing, it ran out

in front of the car!

And it tried to rip us to shreds!

Us? Who's us?

Ruby! He yanked her right

out of the g*dd*mn car!

Woah, where is she?

It took her! Call the police.

We, we ought to get out of here.

What did you do to her?

I didn't do anything to her!

Look at my car!

I'm telling you, there is

some "thing" out here!

Listen to me, numb-nuts, her

grandmother's about to croak.

We were on our way up

to Lakeview to see her

and this beast, it just, it ran

in front of the car

and I got stuck and it att*cked

us and it took her.

And then, I don't even know

what would have happened if

Wait a minute.

You!

Ok, so not only am I not

rich enough for you,

I'm now a monster? Just calm down.

Ok, look. Why don't you

get in your car,

lock your door

and I'll radio the Sheriff and

then I'll pull you out of this.

You better!

Hurry up.

I'm not a monster.

Hey Marge, might need a hand out here.

10-4. We'll send a unit

right up, Benny.

Hey, uh, thanks Marge.

Just around the bend.

About a mile south of the farm.

Copy. That full moon

sure is wreaking havoc tonight.

Y'all stay safe.

Uh-huh. You too, gorgeous.

Hello?

Monster. I'll give you a monster.

I heard that!

Alright, hold on now.

Just need to back up the truck.

Benny!

Come on.

Ah, you moron!

Benny!

Benny?

Hey Benny, Earl is on

the way and he's got the chains.

Benny, come on!

What are you waiting for?

Ruby?!

Ruby!

Ruby!

I said not tonight!

This is for screwing up our trip

to grandmother's house

and this is for trying

to k*ll my f*cking kid!

Yeah!

Are you hurt?

Don't worry.

Mommy's here for you, ok?

Alright, come on.

Let's get in the car. Come on.

Carla? From the diner?

Your brother was a limp d*ck.

Why mommy, what big eyes you have.

Now, we can be together forever.
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