Caine Mutiny Court-Martial, The (2023)

[bunniefuu]

And what's the plan? It

will only confuse you.

Listen, I can't be any more

confused than I already am.

Steve, I would rather be

prosecuting than defending you.

Why? Because I

think you're guilty as hell.

Well, maybe I should

get another lawyer then.

Well, I'm not looking forward

to twisting the Navy's arm.

Why? What, are you scared of

the brass? Worse.

Respectful.

You know, sometimes I

think the Navy's a master plan

designed by geniuses

for execution by idiots.

Where did you hear that? I couldn't

have just made that up myself?

Could have made up the Gettysburg

Address too. Where'd you hear it?

That's one of Tom Keefer's

wisecracks.

Thomas Keefer, your

novelist friend. Yeah.

He's got the sharpest mind on

the ship. He's sharp, all right.

He knows everything Queeg did.

I'm sure he does.

The trial counsel will state

the charge and specification.

Charge one, mutiny.

Violation of Article 94, Uniform

Code of m*llitary Justice.

In that

Lieutenant Stephen Maryk,

while serving as executive

officer aboard the USS Caine,

did on December 18th, 2022,

commit an act of mutiny.

Lieutenant Maryk willfully,

and without proper authority,

and without justifiable cause

did relieve from duty Lieutenant

Commander Philip Francis Queeg,

then serving as the duly

appointed commanding officer

of the USS Caine,

who was then in lawful

exercise of his command.

How do you plead?

Not guilty.

Defense will stipulate

that Lieutenant Maryk

was serving as executive

officer aboard the USS Caine,

18 December, 2022.

Trial counsel, you may

call your first witness.

Call Lieutenant Commander Queeg.

Do you solemnly swear that the

evidence you give shall be the truth,

the whole truth and nothing

but the truth, so help you God?

I do.

Be seated.

State your

name, rank and present position.

Philip Francis Queeg, Lieutenant

Commander, United States Navy,

currently attached to Headquarters,

Fifth Fleet, awaiting reassignment.

Do you recognize the accused?

Yes.

Lieutenant Maryk, US Navy.

Commander Queeg,

on December 18th, 2022,

were you in command

of the USS Caine?

Yes, I was.

What type of vessel

is the Caine?

Well, her official designation is an

MCM... mine countermeasures ship.

And what is her primary mission?

Well, the Caine is designed to

detect and neutralize sea-based mines.

We conduct

minesweeping operations

as directed anywhere

in the Persian Gulf,

with an emphasis on

the Straits of Hormuz.

Commander, on

December 18th, 2022,

were you relieved of

command of the Caine?

Yes.

By whom?

The accused, Lieutenant Maryk.

Was this

a standard watch change?

No, it was totally irregular.

How would you describe it?

Well, the most charitable description

would be that it was an incident,

a regrettable incident

of the temporary

and total collapse

of m*llitary discipline.

Commander, please relate all the facts

that bear on this unauthorized relief.

Okay, well,

the Caine sortied from

Bahrain on December 16th.

Our mission was to sweep for mines from the

Persian Gulf through the Straits of Hormuz.

When a cyclone came along

the operation was canceled,

and the boat started to

maneuver to evade the storm.

The storm was

traveling due west.

What was the date

and time of that course change?

Well, that would be early

morning of the 18th, ma'am.

And as I say, the storm

was pretty bad at that point.

Visibility was almost zero.

Couldn't see any of the

other ships in the detachment.

We were sailing blind

through the rain and the spray,

and with the wind

and the sea and all,

we had to maneuver

using engines and rudders

to hold the evasion course

that had been ordered.

But w-we were doing fine.

My executive officer, however,

pretty early in the game,

began to show unusual

symptoms of nervousness.

What were these symptoms?

Well, for example, he

started talking pretty early...

Couldn't have been more than half an hour

after the ship started running south...

That we needed to operate independently

and come around to the north.

Why did he want to do that?

Well, to give you the picture, the

cyclone was coming at us from the east.

We were on the

western edge of it,

which means where we were,

the wind was from due north.

Now, the Commodore, of course, was running south

with the wind to get out of the storm's path,

which was in accordance

with all existing storm doctrine.

My exec, however, insisted that our

ship was on the verge of foundering

and that we had better

turn into the wind,

wh-which was the north,

if we were to survive.

Now... of course,

we weren't in that bad of shape.

And that's what I

mean by nervousness.

What was your objection

to coming north,

as your executive

officer suggested?

Well, everything was wrong with

that idea that could be wrong with it.

I mean, in the first place, my

orders were to proceed south.

My ship wasn't

in danger. It...

It was functioning normally.

To drop out of station and act

independently under those circumstances

is out of the question.

And to come around north

would be to head the ship directly

into the heart of the cyclone.

It was a senseless suggestion and,

under the circumstances, almost suicidal.

I have since checked all of

my decisions of December 18th

with the finest

ship handlers I know,

ranking all the way

up to rear admiral,

and unanimously they agree that the

only course in that situation was south.

Commander,

your last remark was hearsay.

I'm... I'm sorry.

I'm not up on

these legal distinctions

as well as I should be, I guess.

It's perfectly all right.

Will defense counsel move to strike out the

part of the testimony which was hearsay?

All right, so move.

Please continue.

Well, i-it's just that Maryk's

insistence on us coming around

became more and more strident

as the weather deteriorated.

I finally became

concerned about him

when suddenly

he moved towards me

and out of the blue said I was on the

sick list and that he was relieving me.

I-I... To be honest, I

couldn't believe my ears.

Took me a moment to catch on.

It wasn't until he started shouting

orders at the officer of the deck

and started countermanding

my instructions

that I-I did begin to

realize what was going on.

Commander, can

you recall anything

that could have provoked

your executive officer's act?

Truthfully, no.

I don't think my bearing or

manner had anything to do with it.

Look... it was a pretty scary

situation in that wheelhouse.

Winds were force ten to

12, screeching and all,

and the waves were mountainous.

The barometer had dropped about as low

as it's ever been in US Navy history,

and we took a very bad roll.

And I mean a very bad one.

I've done a lot of

North Atlantic rolling too.

I just think that Maryk

simply went into a panic.

Was the Caine in grave

danger at that time?

Well, I-I wouldn't say

that, no, ma'am.

I-I thought we righted ourselves

very nicely out of that bad roll.

He repeatedly tried to order me off

the bridge, but I stayed right where I was

and gave him orders only as I thought

necessary for the safety of the ship.

I-In the situation, I

thought that the chief hazard

would be any further

act of frenzy on his part.

And to the extent that the Caine

did come through that storm safely,

despite the unprecedented...

running amok of my executive officer,

I believe that my handling of the

emergency was the correct one.

Did Maryk cite any authority

at all when he relieved you?

He mumbled something

about our Article 1108.

I didn't even

catch it at the time.

It wasn't till later that

he said his authority

was Article 1108

of Navy Regulations.

And were you familiar with these

articles? Certainly.

In substance, what

do they provide?

Well, it's my understanding

that they make it possible

for the executive officer to relieve

the captain i-in an emergency,

a highly unusual emergency

where... where the captain is...

Well, frankly, where the

captain is absolutely unhinged.

Were these articles properly

invoked in your situation?

Well, I'm sort of an

interested party here.

But you don't have

to take my word for it.

I was successfully conning

my ship through that cyclone,

and fortunately for me, I

have 130 witnesses of that fact.

Everybody aboard that ship.

Commander,

sorry, there again, sir,

you're testifying to the

conclusions of others.

Well, obviously I'm not

a legal expert. Sorry.

Strike the witness's last

sentence from the record.

Have you ever been

mentally ill, sir?

No.

Were you ill in any way

when Mr. Maryk relieved you?

I was not.

Did you warn your executive

officer of the consequences of his act?

I told him he was

performing a mutinous act.

And what was his reply?

He expected to be

court-martialed.

He was going to

retain command anyway.

What was the attitude of Lieutenant Junior

Grade Keith, the officer of the deck?

Keith was in a state of

panic as bad as Maryk's.

What was the

attitude of the helmsman?

Stilwell was emotionally

unbalanced and for some reason

very devoted to Mr. Keith.

They both backed Maryk.

Is there anything else, Commander

Queeg, that you would care to state

in connection with the events of

December 18th aboard the Caine?

Well, I just...

I've thought a lot about

all of this, obviously.

It's the gravest

occurrence in my career.

The only questionable

one I-I'm aware of.

I-I just think that if

the officer of the deck

had been anyone other

than this immature Mr. Keith

and the helmsman

anyone other than Stilwell,

then none of this

would have happened.

I mean, a competent officer would

have repudiated Maryk's orders

and a normal sailor at the helm

would have disregarded both

of those officers and obeyed me.

It was just bad luck

that these three men,

Maryk, Keith and Stilwell,

combined against me

at such a crucial time.

Bad luck for me

and I'm afraid even

worse luck for them.

The court would

like to question the witness.

Commander Queeg,

you've taken all the prescribed

physical and mental examinations

incident to entrance to

the academy, graduation,

commissioning,

promotion and so forth?

Yes, sir, for 21 years.

Does your medical record contain any

history of illness, mental or physical?

No, sir, it does not.

Have you ever had an unsatisfactory

fitness report, Commander Queeg?

Negative, sir.

Commander, can you account for Lieutenant

Maryk's opinion that you were mentally ill?

All I can say, sir,

is that I assumed command over an

extremely... disorganized and dirty ship,

and that's not a reflection

on the officer that I relieved.

The Caine had gone through

a year and a half of arduous duty

a-and it was understandable.

But still, for the safety of that ship

and its crew, it demanded to be shaped up,

and I took a lot

of strong measures,

a-and Lieutenant Maryk did

not see eye to eye with me at all

on this idea of making

the Caine a tight ship again.

Well, maybe...

Maybe he thought I was

crazy to keep trying.

Anyway, that's

the picture of it, sir.

- Thank you.

- Your witness.

Commander Queeg,

I would like to ask you

whether you have ever heard

the expression "Old Yellowstain."

In which connection?

Old Yellowstain, sir.

No, I have not.

You weren't aware that

all the officers of the Caine

habitually referred to

you as Old Yellowstain?

I object to the question.

Impertinent badgering of the witness.

How does Defense Counsel Greenwald

justify this line of questioning?

Please the court, the

nickname Old Yellowstain,

used by the officers

of the Caine,

will be relevant to the

issue of mental competence.

Before ruling, the court wishes

to caution defense counsel.

This is a most unusual

and delicate case.

The honor and

career of an officer

with an unblemished m*llitary record

of 21 years standing is involved.

The defense counsel will

have to bear full responsibility

for the conduct of this case.

Subject to the

foregoing comment,

the trial counsel's

objection is overruled.

Court stenographer

will repeat the question.

"You aren't aware, then, that

all the officers of the Caine

have habitually referred

to you as Old Yellowstain?"

I was not aware of that.

No further questions.

For now.

Commander Queeg will be

called as a witness for the defense.

For the defense?

Yes, sir.

You're excused,

subject to recall.

Thank you, sir.

Call Lieutenant Thomas Keefer.

State your name, rank

and present station.

Thomas Keefer, Lieutenant,

United States Navy,

communication officer

of the USS Caine.

If you recognize the

accused, state his name.

Lieutenant Steve Maryk,

executive officer of the Caine.

What is your occupation

in civilian life?

I'm a writer.

And has any of your

work been published?

A number of short stories have

been published, yes, ma'am.

Did you do any writing in

your spare time while in service?

Yes, I have completed

half a w*r novel.

And what's the title?

Multitudes, Multitudes.

And has this novel,

though incomplete,

recently been accepted

by a publisher?

Yes.

Now, Lieutenant Keefer,

were you serving aboard the

Caine in your present capacity

on December 18th,

2022? Yes.

Was Captain Queeg relieved

of his command on that date?

He was.

By whom?

The executive officer.

Describe how you learned that

the captain had been relieved.

Well, Mr. Maryk passed word for all

officers to come up to the wheelhouse.

When we got there, he told us that the

captain was sick and he had assumed command.

Did Captain Queeg show

any external signs of being sick?

Look, at the height

of a cyclone...

Was he raving, or

was he foaming, or... No, no.

Did he look any worse off

than, say, Lieutenant Keith? No.

Or Maryk? No.

W-We were all tired,

dripping and wiped out.

Mr. Keefer, did you make

any effort to persuade Mr. Maryk

to restore Queeg to command?

No, I did not.

Did you not feel the

seriousness of the moment?

I certainly did.

Why did you take

no remedial action?

I wasn't present when

the captain was relieved.

Maryk was in full command. The

entire ship was obeying his orders.

I thought that, for

the safety of the ship,

my best course was

to obey his orders.

Mr. Keefer, were you

aboard the Caine

throughout the period that

Captain Queeg was in command?

Yes, I was. Did you ever observe

any evidence of insanity in him?

I don't... I can't answer that

question, not being a psychiatrist.

Did you ever think

he might be insane?

Objection.

Witness is not an expert and matters

of opinion are not admissible evidence.

I withdraw the question.

Mr. Keefer, at any time

prior to December 18th,

were you informed that Maryk

suspected Queeg of being mentally ill?

Yes, I was. Describe

how you learned this.

Well, let me see.

Two... Two weeks

before the cyclone,

Maryk showed me a medical log

he had kept on Captain

Queeg's behavior.

He asked me to come with

him to report the situation to...

To Admiral Williams,

Commander Fifth Fleet.

And did you consent

to go with him?

Yes, I did.

Why?

He was my superior officer

and also my close friend.

Did you believe that Maryk's

log justified the relief of Queeg?

No. No.

As soon as we got aboard

Admiral Williams's ship,

I told him as forcibly as I

could that, in my opinion,

the log wouldn't

justify the action.

What was his response? After

a lot of arguing, he told me...

After a lot of

arguing, he... he followed my advice.

We returned to the Caine.

Were you surprised two weeks later

when he relieved the captain?

I was stunned.

Were you good with

that, Mr. Keefer?

I was badly disturbed.

I thought that, at best, he would

be involved in grave difficulties.

I thought it was a terrible

situation and an error on his part.

No further questions.

No questions.

Does the defense intend

to recall this witness

at a later time?

No, sir.

No cross-examination of

this highly material witness?

No, sir.

The court will

question the witness.

Mr. Keefer...

Now, as to this

so-called medical log,

the facts it contained which

convinced Lieutenant Maryk

that he should report the

captain to Admiral Williams

didn't convince you.

Is that right?

They did not, sir.

Why not?

Sir, it's not something a

layman can intelligently discuss.

You've stated you're a

close friend of Mr. Maryk.

Yes, sir.

Well, this court is trying to

find out, among other things,

any possible extenuating

circumstances for his acts.

Did this medical log

merely indicate to you

that Captain Queeg was a highly

normal and competent officer?

Sir, speaking from ignorance,

it's always seemed to me that mental

disability was a... a relative thing.

Captain Queeg was

a very strict disciplinarian

and extremely meticulous in

hunting down the smallest matters.

He wasn't the easiest person

in the world to reason with.

And there were several occasions

where I thought he came down too hard

and spent excessive

time on small matters.

They were very unpleasant.

But to jump from them to the conclusion

that the captain was a maniac,

no, no, I was compelled,

in all honesty,

to warn Maryk

against doing that.

State your

name, rank and present station.

Junius Urban, Quartermaster

Third Class, US Navy

of the USS Caine.

Do you recognize the accused?

Ma'am?

Do you recognize the accused?

M-Ma'am?

Do you recognize the

officer at that table?

Wh-Which

one? There are two.

Name the one you recognize.

Th-That's the exec.

What's his name?

M-Mr. Maryk.

What is he the exec of?

The... The ship.

Name the ship.

The Caine.

Thank you. Sorry.

Urban, on December 18th, 2022,

were you serving aboard the

Caine in your present capacity?

Is that the day it happened?

The day what happened?

I don't know.

That was the day

of the cyclone, yes.

Sure. I...

I was aboard.

Were you in the wheelhouse

when Mr. Maryk

relieved Captain Queeg?

Yes.

Who else was in the

wheelhouse at the time?

Well, um, there was... there

was the captain and M-Mr. Maryk.

Yes?

Th-Th-The helmsman.

His name? Stilwell.

Who else?

The officer of the

day. His name?

Mr. Keith.

What were you doing

in the wheelhouse?

I had the watch.

Urban, describe

in your own words

how Lieutenant Maryk

relieved the captain.

H-He said...

"I relieve you," ma'am.

What was happening at the time?

Well, the ship was rolling very

bad. It was an ass-kicker storm.

Urban, describe

everything that happened

in the ten minutes before

Captain Queeg was relieved.

Well, li-like I say,

the ship was rolling very bad.

That's all?

Did the captain say anything?

Did the exec say anything?

Did the officer of the

day say anything?

Or did the ship just roll

in silence for ten minutes?

Well, ma'am, it was a cyclone.

Petty Officer Urban,

you are under oath.

W-Well...

I-I think the captain

wanted to come north,

and the exec wanted

to come s-south.

O-Or the other way around,

or something like that.

Why did the

captain want to come south?

I don't know. Why did the

exec want to come north?

Ma'am, I'm just a

third-class petty officer.

Did the captain

act crazy? No.

Did the execs

seem scared? N-No.

Did the captain? No.

Did anyone?

I... I was g*dd*mn scared.

I-I beg your pardon, sir.

But the captain did not act crazy

in any way that morning, correct?

The captain was the same as

always. Crazy or sane, Urban?

H-He was sane.

S-S-S-So far as I knew.

Petty Officer Urban,

how old are you?

Twenty. What

schooling have you had?

High school...

High school diploma.

Have you been

telling the whole truth here,

or haven't you?

Sir, a-an enlisted

man o-on watch

isn't supposed to listen to arguments

between the captain and the exec.

Did you like the captain?

S-Sure, I liked him, sir.

Continue your examination.

No further questions.

Petty Officer Urban,

were you aboard the Caine

when she cut her own tow cable?

Y-Yes... Yes, sir.

And what were you doing at

the time? I was...

Well, that is, the captain was

bawling me out on the bridge, sir.

What for? My

shirttail was out.

Was the captain very strict

on the subject of shirttails?

Yes, sir. He was

very strict on shirttails, sir.

And while he was

describing your shirttail,

the ship went around

in a full circle

and steamed over

its own tow cable.

Is that what happened? I

object to this line of questioning.

Counsel has tricked the

witness with leading questions

into asserting that the

Caine cut its own tow line,

a material point that was not

touched upon in direct examination.

Please the court,

the witness has stated

that he's never seen the

captain do anything crazy.

I'm simply trying to

refute that statement.

Defense counsel will have the

opportunity to originate evidence later.

Objection sustained.

Cross-examination thus far

will be stricken from the record.

Urban, what is a

paranoid personality?

A paranoid personality.

What is it? Sir?

Would you recognize a psychotic

person if you saw one?

Me? It's okay.

No further

questions. Thank you.

Petty Officer Urban,

you will not discuss your testimony in

this courtroom with anybody, understand?

Wh-Who, sir? Me, sir?

No, sir.

Witness excused.

Thank you, sir.

I see that, trial

counsel intends to call

a dozen members of

the crew of the Caine.

Yeah? Yeah,

that's correct.

And the purpose is to

confirm Urban's testimony

no one ever saw the

captain do anything crazy.

That is the purpose.

Okay, I'll concede that.

I'll concede they'll all

corroborate Urban's testimony

if you concede that none of them know

any more about a paranoid than Urban does.

Yeah, I'll gladly accept that

concession on those terms, sir.

Okay. Lieutenant,

that's a weighty concession.

And by your leave, sir,

I'll make that concession.

Mr. Greenwald, I understand that

you were appointed as defense counsel

by the judge advocate.

Yes, sir.

When were you

appointed? Four days ago, sir.

Do you feel you've had enough

time to prepare your case? Yes, sir.

Did you undertake the

assignment willingly?

Sir, Lieutenant Greenwald

accepted the assignment

at the request of

the judge advocate.

I see that you're

a naval aviator. Yes, sir.

What do you fly? Primarily

the F/A-18 Super Hornet, sir.

Why aren't you flying

now? Medical leave, sir.

Why? Forced to eject

from a damaged aircraft.

I see.

Did you have a chance to

practice much law? A little, sir.

Lieutenant Maryk.

Yes, sir.

I need to know if you're happy with

your counsel's conduct of the defense.

Sir, if he answers that

question, he does on blind faith.

Can I just have a moment to

speak to my client privately?

Two minutes.

Come on.

Thank you.

So, do you want

to get rid of me?

I don't know.

I think I'm screwed

at this point.

Fifteen years in the brig?

Tell me one thing. Why

didn't you cross-examine Tom?

I don't have time

to tell you everything.

Tom Keefer knows everything the

captain did. Everything. I'm sure he does.

If he wouldn't talk, it's

up to you to drag it out.

Wasn't it? You

don't understand.

No, I don't understand what

you're doing. That's for sure.

I want to fight

this case. Why?

Because I want

to win it. Why?

Is that not enough?

Before you said you'd rather be

prosecuting than defending me.

So maybe this is your

bizarre way of prosecuting.

Steve, listen to me

very carefully.

Implicating Keefer

harms you. What?

Two disgruntled bastards

instead of one heroic exec.

I have a chance

with one heroic exec.

Making that stick is the

only chance for you to win.

For the record, the

court asks the accused,

are you satisfied

with your counsel?

I'm satisfied, sir.

Court will not reopen this

question. I understand that, sir.

I'm satisfied with

Lieutenant Greenwald.

Proceed with your case,

Commander Challee.

Call Lieutenant Keith.

State your name, rank

and present station.

Willis Keith, US

Navy Junior Grade,

assistant communications

officer on the USS Caine.

Mr. Keith, were you officer

of the deck of the Caine

on December 18th, 2022?

I was.

Was the captain relieved

of his command on that date?

Yes, ma'am.

Do you know why

the executive officer

relieved the captain? Yes.

Captain Queeg had

lost control of himself

and the ship was in

grave danger of foundering.

How many years have you

served at sea, Lieutenant?

One year, three months.

Do you know how many years

Commander Queeg has served at sea?

I guess about 17 years.

Which one of you is

better qualified to judge

whether a ship

is foundering or not?

Myself, ma'am,

if I'm in possession of my

faculties and Commander Queeg isn't.

Well, what makes you think he

wasn't in possession of his faculties?

He wasn't on the morning

of December 18th.

Have you studied

medicine or psychiatry? No.

Did the captain foam or rave

or make insane gestures?

No. No. What he

did do was just as bad.

Clarify that, will you?

His orders were vague.

He insisted on going south when we had a

north wind of 90 miles an hour behind us.

With a stern wind that strong,

the ship couldn't be controlled.

In your expert opinion

as ship handler, that is.

Well, Steve Maryk thought so,

and he's an expert ship handler.

Were you completely loyal to your

captain or not, prior to 18 December?

I was, antagonistic to Captain

Queeg at certain isolated times.

At what isolated times

were you antagonistic?

When the captain mistreated

his men, I opposed him.

When did the captain

ever mistreat his men?

Well, for one thing, he

systematically persecuted

Gunners Mate

Second Class Stilwell.

In what way?

First, he restricted him to the ship

for six months for reading on watch.

Refused to grant him leave when we

were back in the States in December 2021.

The man was getting anonymous

messages about his wife's infidelity.

Maryk gave

Stilwell a 72-hour emergency leave.

He returned a few

hours over leave...

Hold on. Hold on. You say

that Maryk gave Stilwell leave.

Did Maryk know that the

captain had denied Stilwell leave?

Yes.

Did Maryk check with the captain

before authorizing this leave?

No, um...

Are you testifying,

Mr. Keith,

that Maryk deliberately

violated his captain's orders?

I... I mean, i-it

was my fault, actually.

'Cause I begged

him to. He was...

Mr. Keith, we now

have your testimony

that you and Stilwell and Maryk

conspired to circumvent an express

order by your commanding officer

a whole year before the

cyclone of 18 December.

Now, please tell the court

any other instances of

mistreatment that occur to you.

He cut off Internet

access for six months

'cause he wasn't invited

to a screening by mistake.

He restricted water use

in the middle of a heat wave

'cause he said the men were using

too much, they had to be taught a lesson.

Did the captain ever issue any rules or

punishments not permitted by regulations?

He never did anything

not allowed by regulations.

You don't like the captain,

do you, Lieutenant?

I did.

I did at first.

Very much.

But I gradually came to realize

that he was a petty tyrant

and utterly incompetent.

Did you think

he was insane, too?

Not until the day

of the cyclone.

Very well. Come to

the day of the storm.

Was your decision to obey Maryk

based on your judgment that

the captain had gone mad?

Or was it based on your

hatred of Captain Queeg?

I... I just... I don't remember

my state of mind at that time.

No further questions.

Mr. Keith, you stated you

disliked Captain Queeg, yes?

I did dislike him.

And did you state all your reasons for

disliking him? Not at all.

Okay, well, please, state

the rest of those reasons now.

Well, for one thing, he extorted

a thousand bucks from me.

Objection.

The issue in this case is not whether

Captain Queeg was a model officer,

but whether he was

insane on 18 December.

Defense counsel hasn't

even touched that issue.

Well, please the court, this

bears directly on the fitness

of Captain Queeg to

command a naval vessel.

And as evidence, it is

nothing but clarification

of Keith's dislike for

his commanding officer,

a fact brought out by trial

counsel, at great pains, I might add,

under direct examination.

The objection is overruled.

Mr. Keith, could you please

describe this so-called extortion?

Well, this was back last

December in Port Doha, Qatar.

The captain had this crate,

this big crate full of duty-free whiskey

that he wanted to sneak aboard.

He appointed me boat officer,

and a working party started

to load the crate in the gig.

It was incredibly heavy,

and Captain

Queeg... got excited

and started screaming out a

whole bunch of contradictory orders.

Sailors got rattled, they

dropped the crate in the water,

it sank like a stone, I

was out a thousand bucks.

No, you mean the captain

was out a thousand bucks.

No, no, no, sir. I was.

Captain informed me

it was my responsibility,

'cause I was boat officer

in charge of loading,

and he asked me what

I wanted to do about it.

I was supposed to go

on leave the next day.

My girlfriend had flown out

from New York to be with me,

so I went to the captain,

I apologized for my stupidity,

and I offered to

pay for the crate.

He took my money and

signed my leave papers.

What other reasons do you

have for disliking Captain Queeg?

Well, my chief reason

for disliking Captain Queeg

was his cowardice in

dangerous situations.

Objection!

Counsel is originating evidence

beyond the scope

of direct examination.

He is leading the witness to irresponsible

libel of an officer of the Navy.

Please the court, the witness's

dislike of Captain Queeg

was not only in the scope

of direct examination,

it was the key fact brought out.

Now, the witness has confessed

an ignorance of psychiatry.

Things Captain Queeg did

which forced the witness in

his ignorance to dislike him

may in fact have been the

helpless acts of a sick man.

I respectfully urge

my objection, sir.

Let me remind everyone

of the serious nature of the

issues in this line of questioning

and the implications involved.

From the earliest

days of our service,

the worst charge that can be leveled

against a naval service officer,

especially the commanding

officer of a vessel,

is that he displays cowardice or negligence

in the face of danger to his ship or crew.

Counsel and the witness

are herewith cautioned

that they are treading on dangerous

and unprecedented grounds here.

Court offers defense

counsel the opportunity

to withdraw his question

from the record.

My question stands, sir.

Lieutenant Keith,

you have the opportunity to

withdraw or amend your answers.

I stand by what I said, sir.

Very well.

Court finds that the question is

within the scope of direct examination

and that the answer is material.

The objection of the

trial counsel is overruled.

Mr. Keith, can you

describe when and where

the captain displayed

this aversion to danger?

Well, I guess the worst time

was a mine-sweeping operation

in the Straits of Hormuz.

That's where he got the

nickname Old Yellowstain.

And this nickname, Old

Yellowstain, what does it imply?

Well, cowardice, of course.

It refers to a yellow dye

marker he dropped over the side.

Describe. Describe this

Yellowstain incident for us, please.

I wasn't on the

bridge at the time.

I only heard about it afterwards...

Objection.

Does defense counsel seriously expect to

enter these hearsay libels on the record?

I withdraw the question, okay?

Defense will introduce direct

evidence on the Yellowstain incident.

Strike the question and

the answer from the record.

Describe incidents of cowardice

to which you were an

eyewitness, Mr. Keith.

Any time there was

a difficult situation,

Captain Queeg was always to be found on

the side of the bridge away from it all.

I saw that a dozen times when I

was officer of the day. Thank you.

No further questions.

Mr. Keith, has Lieutenant

Commander Queeg

ever been investigated or

charged by higher authority

for any of this alleged unprofessional

behavior that you describe?

No.

Can you cite

any official records

that'll substantiate

any of these fantastic

and libelous stories

that you've been telling

under the guidance

of defense counsel?

Official records, no.

Mr. Keith, do you

know for a fact

that the crate that was lost

contained smuggled liquor?

It's common knowledge.

Common knowledge.

Did you see the liquor

in the crate? No.

Can you name one person who will

testify that they saw liquor in the crate?

Naturally, he was pretty careful

about that. Okay, not one person.

I just... I don't... I don't know

who would have actually seen it.

Mr. Keith,

you've testified

that you don't like

Captain Queeg.

You're reporting as fact

every evil rumor about him

and you're making wildly

irresponsible charges under oath.

Isn't that the plain truth of

your testimony, Mr. Keith?

I haven't lied once.

Mr. Keith, on the morning

that the captain was relieved,

did you really think

he'd gone crazy?

I said before,

I can't say for sure what

my state of mind was, or his.

No more questions.

Call Captain Southard.

State your name, rank

and present station.

Randolph Southard,

Captain, US Navy operations

officer, Fifth Fleet.

You understand that you've

been called as an expert witness

on Avenger-class ship handling?

I do.

State your qualifications.

Some 20 years

on smaller combatants,

ten years of

commanding all types,

including ships ranging up

to guided m*ssile destroyers.

To clarify for the members, will

you use the map marked "Exhibit A"

to illustrate the position of the Caine

when she encountered the storm?

The Caine was

approximately here.

The storm hit from the

northeast, heading southwest.

Vessels of the task

force steered south

in an attempt to

outrun the weather.

The Caine, in her spot on the

right flank of the sweep pattern,

caught the worst of it.

Rather than steering

with the wind aft,

she turned north into

the wind and seized.

That was the situation in the

strait on the day in question.

Thank you, Captain.

You may be seated.

Trial counsel, you may proceed.

Thank you.

Captain, let's say

that, hypothetically,

you're the one who's in

command of the vessel.

A cyclone blows up without

warning traveling west

and you're directly

in the path of it.

The wind keeps increasing,

its direction holding

steady from the north.

Soon your wind is force ten to

12 and your seas are mountainous.

Under the circumstances,

what would you do?

Well, I'd execute the

classic Navy maneuver

known as getting

the hell out of there.

And how would you go

about that, Captain?

Well, it's almost rule of thumb.

You say the winds from

the north are 90 knots,

center of the cyclone

coming at you from the west.

The best course is south.

You might have to head a couple

of points one way or the other,

depending on your seas,

but there's only one way

out of that mess... south.

But then you have a terribly

strong stern wind, don't you?

What about it?

Well, can a small vessel ride safely

going downwind in such conditions?

She'll ride just as well

going downwind as upwind.

In fact, with your high

freeboard going forward,

a smaller vessel

tends to back in the wind.

Other things being equal, she'll

do slightly better going downwind.

How about turning north in those

circumstances and heading into the wind?

Well, that would be dubious and

dangerous, not to mention idiotic.

Why, sir?

Well, you're heading yourself right

back into the path of the cyclone.

Unless you're interested

in sinking, that's not smart.

That's all, sir.

Captain, have you ever conned

a ship at the center of a cyclone?

Negative.

Been on the fringes often, but

always managed to avoid the center.

And have you ever commanded a

mine countermeasures ship? Negative.

Okay, this trial, sir, concerns

an Avenger-class MCM

at the center of a

very dangerous storm.

I'm aware of that.

I've had MCMs under my command,

and I've read the book on them.

They don't differ from

smaller-class vessels

in terms of characteristics

and handling in rough weather.

I only ask these questions, sir,

because you are the only

expert ship-handling witness,

and I believe the extent of your expert

knowledge should be clear to the court.

Well, I've handled these ships

in almost every conceivable

situation for the last ten years.

Haven't handled a mine countermeasures

at the center of a cyclone,

but I don't know who the hell has

besides the skipper of the Caine.

That's a thousand-to-one sh*t.

Then would you state,

without reservation,

that the same rules hold for an

MCM at the center of a cyclone?

At the center of a cyclone,

there are no hard and fast rules.

That's one situation where it's

all up to the commanding officer.

Too many things happen too fast.

You remember the hypothetical

question put to you by trial counsel

about the storm, yes?

I do.

I want you to assume

in that situation

that the wind and the

seas become bigger.

They become bigger than anything...

Anything you have ever experienced.

You have lost control

of your ship, sir.

You actually believe

she could sink.

You are in the

worst-case scenario.

Do you bring around

north into the wind,

or do you continue

south, stern to the wind?

You're getting very extreme.

Yes, sir, I am. Would you prefer

not to answer the question?

I'll answer it. Please.

In the worst-case scenario,

I'd come around the north,

into the wind, if I could.

But only in the worst-case

scenario. Why?

Because the engines in your

rudder have the best chance that way.

That's why. It's your last chance

to keep control of your ship.

But aren't you heading back into the

center of the storm? First things first.

If you're on the

verge of sinking,

you about as bad

off as you can get.

Mind you, you said

worst-case scenario.

I did, sir. Thank you very

much. No further questions.

Captain, who, in your

opinion, is the best judge

as to whether a ship is in

the worst-case scenario?

There's only one judge.

The commanding officer.

Why, sir?

The Navy made him captain 'cause

his knowledge of the sea and of ships

is better than anyone

else's on the ship.

It's very common for some subordinate

officers to think the ship is sinking

when all that's happening

is a little weather.

Well, don't you think, sir,

that when his subordinates

all agree that the

ship is going down

that the captain ought

to listen to them?

Negative.

Panic is a common hazard at sea.

The highest function of

command is to override

and listen to nothing but the voice

of his own professional judgment.

Call Dr. Joan Lundeen.

State your name, rank

and present station.

Lieutenant Commander

Joan Lundeen,

Medical Corps, US

Navy, Head of Psychiatry,

US Naval Hospital,

San Francisco.

Were you the head of the medical board

that examined Lieutenant Commander Queeg?

I was.

And how long did your

examination last, Doctor?

We had the commander under constant

observation and testing for three weeks.

And what was

the finding of the board?

Commander Queeg was

discharged with a clean bill of health.

Doctor, is it possible that two

months ago, on December 18th,

he was in such a state

of psychotic collapse

that relieving him from naval

command would be justified?

No.

Is it possible for a sane man

to perform offensive,

disagreeable, foolish acts?

It happens every day.

We didn't find that the

commander was a perfect officer.

Yet, you still say that to

relieve him from naval command

because of mental illness

would be unjustified?

Completely unjustified.

Thank you.

Dr. Lundeen,

my background is

legal, not medical,

so I hope you'll bear with me as I

try to clarify some technical terms.

Of course.

I'm going to ask some pretty elementary

questions. All right.

Would you say Commander

Queeg is absolutely normal?

Well, normality, you know,

is a fiction in psychiatry.

No adult is without problems

except a happy imbecile.

What are Commander

Queeg's problems?

You might say his overall problem

is one of an inferiority complex

generated by an

unhappy childhood

and aggravated by

certain adult experiences.

Unhappy childhood in what way?

Divorced parents,

financial trouble,

problems at school.

And the aggravating

factors in adult life?

In his adult life,

the commander is

troubled by his low standing

in his academy class

and other such factors,

but he has become well-adjusted.

Can you describe

the nature of that adjustment?

His identity as a naval

officer is the essential factor.

It's the key to his

personal security.

Therefore, he has a fixed anxiety

about protecting his standing.

That would account

for his harshness.

Would he be slow

to admit mistakes?

Yes, of course. There's

nothing unbalanced in that.

Really? I mean,

would he be a perfectionist?

Such a personality would be.

Inclined to hound

his subordinates

over the smallest

little details.

Any mistake of a

subordinate is intolerable

because it might cause him harm.

Yet he will not admit mistakes

that he makes himself.

You might say that he

revises reality in his own mind

so he comes out blameless.

Doctor, isn't distortion of

reality a symptom of mental illness?

It's a question of degree.

Each one of us

has our own reality.

Yes, Doctor, but doesn't Commander Queeg

distort reality more, say, than you do?

Yes, that's his weakness.

Other people have

other weaknesses.

It's definitely not disabling.

Well, if he's criticized, would he

think he was being unjustly persecuted?

It's all one pattern,

all stemming from one basic

premise that he must try to be perfect.

Inclined to stubbornness, then.

Well, you'll have a

certain rigidity of personality

in such an individual.

His inner insecurity

stops him from admitting

that those who differ

from him may be right.

Doctor, you just testified that the following

symptoms exist in Commander Queeg's behavior.

We have rigidity of personality.

We have feelings of persecution.

We have unreasonable suspicion.

We have withdrawal from reality.

We have performance anxiety.

We have an unreal basic premise

and an obsessive sense

of self-righteousness.

All mild, sir. All

well-compensated.

Yes, Doctor, yes.

But is there an inclusive psychiatric

term, one label for this syndrome?

Syndrome? Who said

anything about a syndrome?

You're misusing a term. There's no

syndrome because there's no disease.

I'll rephrase it.

Do these symptoms fall into

a single pattern of neurotic

disturbance, a common psychiatric class?

I know what

you're getting at. Well?

It's a paranoid personality, but

that is not a disabling affliction.

Doctor... A what

personality, Doctor?

Paranoid.

A paranoid?

Yes, paranoid.

Um, Doctor, in a...

In a paranoid personality,

like Commander Queeg's,

would he... I'm...

I'm gonna put this to

you hypothetically.

Can a man have a

paranoid personality

that would not disable

him for subordinate duties,

but would disable

him for command?

It's conceivable.

And is the disabling factor likely to

be detected in a personal interview?

With a skilled

psychiatrist, yes.

Why? I mean, why is

a psychiatrist needed?

Can't an educated, intelligent

person detect a paranoid?

Well, you evidently aren't too

well acquainted with the pattern.

The distinguishing

mark of this neurosis

is the extreme plausibility and a most

convincing normal manner on the surface,

particularly in

self-justification.

Self-justification.

Thank you, Doctor.

No further questions.

The court wishes

to clear up one point.

Doctor, is... is such

a thing possible...

Well, let me put it this way.

Let's say that a man

with a mild condition

is not disabled for all the

usual stresses of command.

Now let's say those stresses are multiplied

manifold by an extreme emergency.

Would there then be a tendency

to make erroneous judgments?

There might be, sir.

Of course, extreme stress

does that to almost anybody.

It's not supposed to do it

to commanding officers.

No, but practically

speaking, sir, they're human.

State your name, rank

and present station.

Allen Bird, MD, US Navy Reserve.

I was called to serve on the

psychiatric evaluation team.

Was this the board that

was headed by Dr. Lundeen

which recently inquired into the mental

health of Lieutenant Commander Queeg?

Yes. And what was

the finding of the board?

We found that the commander

is mentally fit for command now

and has never been unfit.

Did you find any indication

that Commander Queeg

had what is known as

a paranoid personality?

Well, I prefer to call it obsessive

personality with paranoid features.

Right, but this did not indicate

mental unfitness. No.

You agree, Doctor, that Commander

Queeg is mentally fit now

and must have been mentally

fit on December 18th

when he was relieved on the

grounds of mental illness?

That was our

unanimous conclusion.

Thank you, Doctor.

Dr. Bird,

do you have any special

training in psychoanalysis?

Yes.

Okay, and in psychoanalysis, is

there such a thing as mental illness?

There are disturbed

people and adjusted people.

But those terms,

"disturbed" and "adjusted,"

they correspond roughly

in layman's terms

to "sick" and "well,"

as we use them.

Very roughly, yes.

Would you say Commander Queeg

suffers from an inferiority complex?

Yes, but it's...

well-compensated.

Is there a difference between

"compensated" and "adjusted"?

Most definitely.

Okay, could you please

describe that for us?

Well, let's say

a man is suffering

from some deep-seated

psychological disturbance.

He can compensate by finding

outlets for his peculiar drives.

Okay. So, has Commander

Queeg ever been psychoanalyzed?

No. He's in your terms,

then, a disturbed person?

Yes, he is. Not disabled,

however, by the disturbance.

Okay, how is he compensated?

Mainly two ways.

The paranoid pattern, which

is useless and not desirable,

and his naval career, which is

extremely useful and desirable.

Yes, Doctor, have you noticed that

little thing he does with his hands?

You mean rolling the

steel balls? Yes.

Could you describe

that for us, please?

It's an incessant rolling

of two marbles in his hand.

Why does he do it?

His hands tremble.

He does it to still his hands

and conceal the trembling.

Why do his hands tremble?

Inner tension. It's

a surface symptom.

Doctor, you've testified

that Commander Queeg

is a disturbed, not

an adjusted person, yes?

Yes. So he is,

in layman's terms, sick.

Yes?

I remember agreeing to the rough resemblance

of the terms "disturbed" and "sick,"

but by those terms an

awful lot of people are sick.

Yes, Doctor, but this court only has

Commander Queeg's sickness at issue.

If he is sick, how could your board

have given him a clean bill of health?

Y-You're playing on words.

We found no disability.

Doctor, just suppose

for an instant

that the requirements of command are way

more severe than you believe them to be.

Wouldn't even this mild sickness

be enough to disable him?

That's absurdly hypothetical,

because... Is it?

Have you ever had

sea duty, Doctor? No.

No? How long have you been

in the service of the Navy?

Five months.

Five months?

Five... Six

months. Six, I guess now.

Six months in the

service of the Navy.

Have you ever had any dealings

with ships' captains prior to this case?

No.

No?

Then on what do you base

your estimate of the

requirements of command?

My general knowledge.

Would you say it takes somebody,

a person of exceptional ability,

highly gifted, highly skilled to be

a commander of a naval vessel?

No. No. Really?

Not highly gifted,

no. Then what?

Reasonable

responses. "Reasonable"?

Fairly good

intelligence. "Fairly good"?

Sufficient training

and experience, but...

Is this enough equipment, say,

for a highly skilled psychiatrist?

Not exactly.

So in other words, it takes

more ability to be a psychiatrist

than it does to be the

commander of a US naval vessel.

It takes... That is,

different abilities are required.

You're making the

comparison, not I.

No, Doctor, you're the one that said you

don't think Commander Queeg's sickness

should disable him for command.

I am suggesting that since you evidently know

little about the requirements of command,

that you may be wrong

in your conclusion.

Well, I reject your suggestion.

You do? Why?

Because you've deliberately

substituted the word "sick,"

which is a loose... a polarizing...

Have I?

A what word, Doctor?

Polarizing.

A polarizing word.

I never said "sick."

My grasp of the requirements

of command is adequate,

or I would have disqualified

myself from serving on the board.

Maybe you should

have disqualified yourself.

Objection! The witness

is being badgered!

I withdraw my last statement.

No further questions.

Doctor, the defense counsel has

managed to put words into your mouth

that I'm certain you don't mean.

I'm not aware that he succeeded

in putting any words into my mouth.

Doctor, he drew the implication

from you that Captain Queeg is sick.

Surely you don't... I'm careful

in my use of terminology.

I did not use the term "sick."

Captain Queeg is definitely not disabled

for command, which is the only issue here.

Prosecution rests.

Defense, present your case.

I call the accused.

Does the accused request that

he be permitted to testify? Yes, sir.

You have the right

not to take the stand.

If you don't take the stand, that

fact won't be to your prejudice.

If you take the stand, you may be

subjected to a rigorous cross-examination.

I understand that, sir.

You may take the stand.

State your name, rank

and present position.

Steven Maryk,

Lieutenant, US Navy,

executive officer

of the USS Caine.

Are you the accused in this

court-martial? Yes, I am.

What was your

occupation in civilian life?

Helping my father in his fishing

business. We own a couple boats.

Where?

San Francisco.

Then you were familiar with the

problems of ocean-going ship handling

prior to joining the Navy?

Yes, I've been on

boats since I was 14.

Did you relieve the commander of

the USS Caine 18th December, 2022?

Yes, I did.

Was the Caine in trouble when you relieved

its captain? Yes, it was.

And on what facts do you base that

judgment? Well, several things.

We couldn't hold course.

We broached three times

in an hour. "Broached"?

Yes, wind and sea took charge and

tossed us sideways ten minutes at a time.

We were rolling too steeply

for the inclinometer to record.

We were shipping water out of the

wheelhouse. The generators were cutting out.

The ship was not responding to

emergency rudder and engine settings.

We were lost and out of control.

And did you inform your

captain of this? Yes.

Repeatedly for an hour. I begged

him to come north into the wind.

What was his reply?

Well, mostly just a

glazed look and no answer.

Mr. Maryk,

when did you start keeping your

medical log on Commander Queeg?

Shortly after the incident with

the mines in the Straits of Hormuz.

And why did you start it? I began to

think the captain might be mentally ill.

Why? Because of the

yellow dye marker business.

You mean the incident where the commander

acquired the nickname Old Yellowstain?

Yes.

Were you an eyewitness

to this occurrence?

I was navigator. I was

right there on the bridge.

Please describe this

Yellowstain incident.

It was the third day of an

assigned sweep with two other MCMs.

We had detected a

field of acoustic mines.

It was the third day

of an assigned sweep

with two other MCMs.

We detected a field

of acoustic mines

in the narrowest

part of the strait

and we'd been ordered to destroy

them in place using high expl*sives.

And that's delicate business.

It's gotta be done just right.

We milled around out

there for a while.

Then the captain decided

not to set the charges.

He gave us some excuse

about faulty equipment.

I checked the gear. It was

in perfect working order.

And the captain

wouldn't hear it.

He said the tech was

incompetent and he knew better.

So we dropped a yellow

dye marker over the side,

radioed to the other MCM

to destroy the mines.

They radioed back to slow down, but

we just... we steamed right out of there.

"Steamed."

Now, Mr. Maryk...

The court wishes to

question the witness.

Lieutenant, you say the gear was in

working order. Did you check it personally?

Yes, sir, along with the chief

electronic tech and the sonar men.

It was fine. There was absolutely

nothing wrong with the gear.

And after you steamed away, was

there any danger due to shock waves

from the underwater detonations?

No. No, there was not.

MCMs are designed to withstand that

kind of thing. We do this all the time.

Now, you say these boats

signaled to you to slow down.

Yes, sir. Was the signal

reported to your captain?

I reported it to him myself.

Was he aware that

he was steaming away

from his assigned spot

in the sweep formation?

It was obvious to everyone

on the bridge. I pointed it out.

I said we were breaking

the sweep pattern,

that the other vessels would not

know where we'd found the mines.

And that is when he said, "We'll drop a

yellow dye marker over the side then."

You may continue.

Mr. Maryk, why didn't you go

immediately to a higher authority

with your doubts about

Captain Queeg's mental health?

I felt if I had a record,

I'd be on stronger ground.

That's when I decided

to keep the medical log.

If I was wrong, I'd just burn

it. I kept it under lock and key.

And what, in your opinion,

made an incident worthy of

keeping a record in the medical log?

Any act that seemed

abnormal or strange.

Like what? Like

the coffee machine.

The coffee machine

business? Yes.

Well, please describe

the coffee machine thing.

We had a new coffee

machine in the wardroom.

And, Captain really liked his

coffee. But you had to be careful.

You couldn't leave it plugged in

too long or the thing would burn out.

That's exactly what happened.

One of the guys assigned to the

wardroom mess duty forgot to unplug it

and the thing was...

It was just fried.

And none of them would

admit which one had done it.

So the captain ordered all the officers

of the ship to sit as a trial of inquiry

to find out who'd b*rned

out the coffee machine.

Which... Look, in

itself, it's a silly thing.

But this went on for 36 hours.

All ship's work suspended.

And there we are, all of

us, we're in the wardroom.

We're dying for sleep,

we need showers,

and we're trying to figure out which one of these

poor bastards b*rned out the coffee machine.

And they're so scared, they think

whoever did it is gonna get sh*t.

They'd have sooner d*ed

before they told us.

And so, finally,

I go to the captain

and I say all the officers will admit

that they're incompetent investigators

and take the hit on

their fitness reports,

but we can't find out who left the

coffee machine plugged in for too long.

And so he makes a mark in his

black book and he calls off the inquiry.

It's things like that.

Or the water business.

The water

business. Yes.

Please describe

that water business.

Look, it's all in the log. I know, but

please describe the water business.

The captain restricted

water use from the entire crew

for two days in the

middle of a dust storm

because he caught one of

the deck g*ng taking a shower.

Or it's plain crazy things.

Cheese business.

The cheese business.

The strawberry... Yes.

Cheese business? I don't

recall any cheese business.

This was on the first ship the captain

was assigned to, sir, as an ensign.

Cheese was going missing

from the ship's stores.

And the captain investigated

and he caught a sailor

who'd made a duplicate key to

the padlock to the refrigerator.

Now, for catching

this cheese thief,

he was given a letter

of commendation.

This is during peacetime, so

naturally he's pretty proud of the thing.

So when the strawberry stuff started,

he insisted it was the same thing.

And all we had to

do was find the guy

who had made a duplicate

key to the wardroom fridge.

But of course that's ridiculous.

It was one of the guys assigned

to the wardroom mess again.

We all knew that they'd

eaten this quart of strawberries.

It was left over from

the wardroom mess.

They were entitled to

it. That was the custom.

But when the captain started to

freak out about those strawberries,

they froze up, said they

didn't know who'd eaten them.

And the captain's so hot on

his theory he believes them.

So he ordered the search

for the key. Yes, sir.

We have never seen Captain

Queeg so happy before or since.

He's living the cheese

business all over again.

He organized the search himself.

We collected every

key on that ship.

We had just boxes...

Barrels of keys.

That's about 2,800

of them all told,

each tagged with

the owner's name.

And just to be safe, we searched

that ship from stem to stern,

from the radar

mast to the bilge.

We stripped the crew naked.

Naked?

Yes, sir. Naked.

Each one of them

lined up, stark naked,

and we shook out their clothes.

We searched their lockers. We searched

every hole, every place on that ship.

We crawled under the bilge and

pulled out the lead ballast blocks

that are 200 pounds apiece.

This went on for three days.

Three

days? Yes, sir.

All in the name of a

key that never existed.

So, when I saw the

captain sitting by the fridge,

pulling keys one by

one from a barrel

and trying them in a padlock for

hours on end with a gleam in his eye,

I gave up.

And that is when I showed the

medical log to Lieutenant Keefer.

Mr. Maryk,

when Lieutenant Keefer finished

reading your medical log,

what was his first comment?

Sir, I don't remember.

Did he encourage you

to go to Admiral Williams?

No, sir, I did that on my own.

But he went with you

to the flagship.

Yes, sir. So, at first,

he didn't discourage you?

Once we were aboard the

flagship, he discouraged me

and said we shouldn't

go through it and we didn't.

Would you say his testimony on the

subject was substantially correct?

Yes, sir. This was

all my doing, sir.

Continue your examination.

Mr. Maryk, when

the cyclone was over,

did Commander Queeg make

an attempt to regain command?

Yes.

On the morning of the 19th,

after the storm had blown out.

What happened?

Well, I was in the chart

house writing up a dispatch.

And? I was reporting the

relief to Admiral Williams.

And?

Captain Queeg came and asked if I

would go to his cabin and speak to him

before I sent the dispatch.

So I went below and we talked.

And what happened?

It was the same as

before, at first.

He said I'd be

court-martialed for mutiny.

And then he went on this long thing

about how much he loved the Navy,

that he has no other interests,

and even if he was cleared of

this that his record would be ruined.

And I told him

I felt sorry for him.

And I... I really did.

And that's when he

came out with his proposal.

Which?

He said he wouldn't

write me up and report me,

that he would resume

command of the ship

and that the whole thing would

be written off and forgotten.

And what was your

reply to his proposal?

I was amazed.

I said, Captain, the whole ship

knows about it. Yes.

It's written up in

the quartermaster's log.

It's written up in the

officer of the deck's log.

And, And he hemmed and hawed.

And?

What happened next?

Finally, he said it

wouldn't be the first time

that a rough log had been

corrected and fixed up after the fact.

Did you remind him that the

alteration of logs is strictly forbidden?

Yes, I did. And

he kind of laughed.

He said it was either that or a

court-martial for mutiny for me

and a black mark on his record

which he felt he did not deserve.

And what followed?

He begged and he pleaded.

And, at one point he cried

and eventually got very angry

and he ordered me

out of his cabin.

That is when I

sent the dispatch.

Then you had the opportunity,

less than 24 hours later,

to expunge this whole

event from the official records

with your captain's

knowledge and approval.

Yes, sir.

Mr. Maryk, were you

panicky at all during the storm?

No, I was not.

Lieutenant, you are charged

with relieving your captain willfully,

without authority and

without justifiable cause.

Did you relieve

Commander Queeg willfully?

Yes. I knew

what I was doing.

Did you relieve him

without authority?

No, my authority is Chapter

11 of Navy Regulations.

Did you relieve without

justifiable cause? No.

My justifiable cause was the

captain's mental breakdown

at a time when the

ship was in danger.

Thank you. No

further questions.

Mr. Maryk, this

amazing interview

in which the captain offered

to falsify official records,

were there any witnesses to it?

We were alone in his cabin. No.

This incident with the mines. Did

anyone else see these records?

Which, according to you,

indicated that the Caine

had departed her

assigned sweep formation?

Was there anything in the

records of the ship's movements

that would verify

that departure?

Well, about an hour

after it happened,

the captain asked to see the

chart, he took it to his cabin,

and when I got the log back,

there was no mention of the incident.

Right. Then you have no

corroboration of this story.

No.

Mr. Maryk, who coined the

nickname Old Yellowstain?

That just sprung into existence.

Throughout the ship or

just among the officers?

Just among the officers.

You sure you didn't

coin it yourself?

I didn't.

What kind of rating would you give

yourself for loyalty to your captain?

I'd say I was a loyal officer.

Did you issue a 72-hour liberty

to Petty Officer

Stilwell in December

against your captain's

express instructions?

Yes. You call

that a loyal act?

No.

Then you admit to a disloyal act

in your first days

as executive officer.

Yes.

Mr. Maryk, where did

you get your schooling?

Public schools, San

Francisco. Okay.

And San Francisco

State University.

And how were your grades

in elementary school?

They were okay.

Average? Above

average? Below average?

Average.

How about your

high school grades?

Well, I didn't do so good

there. Below average.

What kind of courses

did you take in college?

Business courses.

Any pre-medical

courses? No.

Any psychology? Any psychiatry

courses? No.

How were your grades in

college? They...

I got by.

Below average?

Yes.

Where did you get

these ideas about paranoia?

Prob... Well, books. And...

a lot of research online.

Books? What books? Name

the titles. Which websites?

They're medical type

books about mental illness,

and I-I don't remember

the exact names of the sites.

Was this your intellectual

hobby, reading about psychiatry?

No. Well, then where

did you get these books?

Fr... I borrowed them from,

ships' doctors here and there.

And with your

background, your scholastic record,

you imagine that you understood these

highly technical and scientific works?

I got something out of them.

What is a conditioned reflex?

I don't know.

What is schizophrenia?

I think it's...

It's a mental illness.

You think so? Yes.

What are its symptoms?

I don't know.

In fact, you don't know what you're talking

about when you discuss mental illness.

Is that right? Well, you know, I

never said I knew much about it.

Have you ever

heard the expression

that a little learning

is a dangerous thing?

Yes.

You had a head full of

terms you didn't understand,

and on that basis

felt you had the right

to depose a commanding officer

on the grounds

of mental illness.

Is that right? I didn't relieve Captain

Queeg because what the book said.

I relieved him because the ship was in

danger of sinking. No, never mind the ship.

We are discussing your

grasp of psychiatry.

Did you hear the diagnosis of the qualified

psychiatrist who examined your captain?

Yes. And what

was their diagnosis?

Was he crazy or wasn't

he on December 18th?

They say he wasn't.

But you, with your whining

gripes of strawberries

and coffee makers, know better.

Mr. Maryk, who was the third

ranking officer on your ship?

Lieutenant Keefer.

Was he a

good officer? Yes.

Do you consider his

mind as good as yours?

Yes.

Better. Better.

Did you show your

medical log to him? Yes.

Was he convinced by it that

the captain was mentally ill?

No.

He talked to you out of trying

to have the captain relieved.

Yes.

And yet two weeks later,

despite the whole weight

of naval discipline,

despite the arguments of

the next officer in rank to you,

a superior intellect,

despite all this,

you went ahead and

seized command of your ship?

I relieved Captain Queeg

because he

definitely seemed sick

on the morning of the cyclone.

You still believe that your

diagnosis of Captain Queeg

is superior to the doctors'?

J... O-Only about Queeg on

the morning of the cyclone.

No more questions.

No re-examination.

You may step down, Lieutenant.

Call Lieutenant Commander Queeg.

Commander, you are reminded

that you are still under oath.

Yes, sir.

Be seated.

Commander, on the morning

of the 19th December,

did you have an interview in

your room with Lieutenant Maryk?

Well, let's see.

The 19th, the

day after the storm.

Yes. Yes, I did.

Was the interview at

your request? Yes.

What was the substance

of the interview?

Well, as I say,

I felt sorry for him.

Hated to see him

ruining his life

over one panicky mistake,

particularly knowing that it was his

ambition to make the Navy a career.

I tried as hard as I could to show

him what a mistake he had made,

suggested he relinquish

command back to me

and offered to be

as lenient as possible

when reporting

what had happened.

You never offered not to report the

incident? How could I?

It had already been

recorded in the logs. Yes.

Those logs, were they

handwritten, typed, or what?

It wouldn't have

made a difference.

Were they handwritten,

Commander? Well, probably.

Quartermasters log, OOD.

Rough logs are

usually handwritten.

I can't imagine that the yeoman

had time to type out smooth logs,

given all the excitement.

Did you offer to alter the

logs and not report the incident?

No, I did not. Alterations

are not permitted.

Lieutenant Maryk testified

under oath, Commander,

that you made such an offer.

Not only that, but you begged and

pleaded with him to alter the logs,

in return for which you promised

to hush up the story completely

and make no report.

Well, that's just not the truth.

There isn't any

truth in it at all?

It's a complete distortion of what

I've said. My version is the exact truth.

You deny the proposal to alter

the logs and hush up the story.

Yes. I deny it completely.

Th-That's the part that he's made

up, the crying and the pleading.

It's fantastic.

You're accusing

Mr. Maryk of perjury.

I-I'm not accusing him...

He's accused of

enough as it stands.

I'm just saying you'll hear a lot of

strange things about me from Maryk.

Th-That's all I'm saying.

Isn't it obvious, Commander, that one of you

is not telling the truth about this meeting?

Well, it appears so. Can

you prove that it isn't you?

Only by citing a clean record

of 21 years as a naval officer

over the word of a man

standing trial for a mutinous act.

Commander, did you ever receive

$1,000 from Lieutenant Junior Grade Keith?

I don't recall offhand.

He testified you did. I

did? On what occasion?

On the occasion of the loss of a

crate of yours in the Port of Oman.

Y-yes. Okay.

I remember that.

That's over a year ago,

December thereabouts.

He was responsible for the loss.

Well, insisted on paying

for it, a-a-and so he did.

And what was in this

crate that cost $1,000?

Well, uniforms, books,

n-navigating instruments,

the usual things.

How was Keith responsible?

Well, he was the boat officer.

He was responsible for loading.

He issued foolish, contradictory

orders that rattled the men.

They dropped the crate

into the water and it sank.

A wooden crate,

full of clothes, sank.

It had other things in it.

Souvenir coral rocks, for

example.

Commander, wasn't the... the crate

entirely full of bottles of booze?

Certainly not.

Lieutenant Keith testified that he paid

you $1,000 for a crate full of liquor.

Well, you'll hear a lot of strange

distortions from Keith. A-And from Maryk.

They're the two culprits here. They're apt

to make all kinds of strange statements.

You make this crate yourself?

No, a man from the engine room

did. What's his name?

I don't recall. It'll be in

the personnel records.

He's been gone from the ship for quite

some time. Okay, where is he now?

I-I don't know.

Because you don't know what

his name is? No.

Was it Engineman Second

Class Otis F. Langhorn, sir?

L... Langhorn?

Yes.

Langhorn, yeah.

Well, th-that

sounds about right.

There's an Otis F. Langhorn, engineman

first class, in transit right now.

Defense has arranged to

subpoena him if necessary.

Are you sure it's the same one?

Well, it says 20 months aboard the

Caine. It's got your signature upon it.

Would it be useful to

have him called, sir?

Objection to this entire

irrelevancy about the crate

and request it be

stricken from the record.

The witness's credibility

is being established.

I put it to the court, sir, that nothing

could be more relevant to this trial.

Overruled.

Court stenographer

will repeat the question.

"Would it be

useful to have him subpoenaed, sir?"

Well, the real question is,

which crate did Langhorn nail up?

I-I now recall

having two crates.

Well, this is new information

not mentioned by Keith.

Did Langhorn nail

up both crates, sir?

I-I can't... I can't recall if I had

two crates on th-that occasion

or two crates on two

separate occasions.

It's been a long time and I've had a

strenuous year of command from ports of storm.

I... I just... I can't be clear.

Commander, there are a

number of issues in this trial

which turn on the

issue of credibility

between yourself

and other officers.

If you wish, I can request a

quick little five-minute recess

while you clear your mind as best

you can about the matter of this crate.

No, no, that won't be necessary.

Just give me some time to think.

Please. Please.

Um...

O-okay. I-I've

got it straight now.

I misspoke.

San Diego, 2014, I lost a

crate in similar circumstances.

That was the crate

with the clothes in it

and the crate that Keith

lost did contain liquor.

Entirely full of liquor.

Well, I suppose so.

You transported

this on your ship.

You are aware of

Navy Regulations, sir.

Of course I'm aware

of regulations.

Th-The crate was sealed

before I got under way.

I gave it the same

locked stowage that I did

the medicinal brandy,

three years' steady duty.

I gave myself this leeway as the captain of

the Caine, which was a common practice.

I do believe that rank has its

privileges, as they say, and, well...

I-I didn't mean to

conceal it from the court.

It's not something

I'm ashamed of.

I just got the two crates

mixed up in my mind.

Lieutenant Maryk

also testified, sir,

that you gave all the

orders to the boat crew

which resulted in

the loss of the crate.

Well, that's a lie.

And that you refused to sign his leave

papers until he paid you for that loss.

And that is another lie.

Commander, during the period when

the Caine was sweeping for mines

off the Straits of Hormuz,

did you steam over and

cut your own tow line?

Objection!

This tow line business

is the last straw.

The tactics of the defense

counsel are an outrage

on the dignity of

these proceedings.

He is systematically

turning this trial

into a court-martial

of Commander Queeg.

Please the court,

the trial counsel believes

she has a prima facie case

based on the report

of two psychiatrists.

Now, I believe it is

up to the court

and not two shore-bound

doctors, however brilliant,

to decide whether the captain of

the Caine was mentally well enough

to retain his self-control

and his post during a cyclone.

The objection is overruled.

The witness will

answer the question.

Okay, well, here's the story

on that particular slander.

Stilwell was a-a-at the helm,

a dreamy, unreliable man

who failed to warn me that we were

coming around the full 360 degrees.

I was the one who recognized what was

happening, reversed course immediately.

We did not go over the tow

line. I-It parted in the tight turn.

Weren't you reprimanding a

petty officer named Urban at length

for having his shirttail out while

your ship was turning 360 degrees, sir?

Who told you that? Keith

again? Answer the question, please.

It's a malicious lie, of course.

Was Urban on the

bridge? Yes.

Was his shirttail out? Yes, and I

reprimanded him. Took all of two seconds.

It's not like I dwell

on these sort of things.

But now that you've

brought the shirttail thing up,

I'd like to point out that Ensign

Keith, a department head,

was responsible for

enforcing uniform regulations

and completely screwed

the whole job up.

When I took over the ship, it

was like some third-world navy,

and I bored down on Keith to

look out for things like shirttails.

And, well, maybe that's one of the

reasons that he hates me so much

and insists on circulating this

nonsense about me cutting the tow line.

Did you drop a yellow dye

marker off the Straits of Hormuz?

No, I, Maybe.

I-I don't recall.

Do you recall what

your first mission was?

Well, to detect and destroy

mines in the Straits of Hormuz.

And did you fulfill that

mission? Yes.

So why did you drop the

dye marker? I'm not saying that I did.

But if I had, it would have been to

mark a mine that we had detected.

Commander, didn't you drop the

marker and retire at high speed,

taking the Caine out of

its assigned sweep pattern?

Now, didn't you do this to avoid

contact with a dangerous underwater mine

and leave it for

another ship to handle?

The question is abusive

and flagrantly leading.

I withdraw my last question on

account of the witness's dim memory.

I'll proceed to

more recent events.

Court desires

to question the witness.

Commander Queeg,

in view of the implications

in this line of testimony,

I urge you to search your

memory for correct answers.

Well, I certainly

am trying, sir.

These are very fine points, and I've had a

number of arduous missions since that storm.

And th-then there's,

well, all of this business.

I appreciate that.

But it will facilitate justice if

you can remember enough

to give a few definite

answers on points of fact.

First of all, did you depart your assigned

sector due to equipment problems?

Yes. Yes. Okay...

Okay, I-I remember.

Yes, that was the case here.

So you departed the pattern rather than try

to repair or troubleshoot the equipment?

But... an active

mine had been detected.

Is that why you dropped the dye

marker? There was a safety factor.

It didn't make sense to me to try

and detonate mines using defective gear.

But I wanted every vessel in the area

to know exactly where that mine was,

s-so I marked it.

Now, if I erred on the side of

being overcautious, well, I-I'm sorry.

But then again, sir, I don't think

you can err on the side of safety.

Did you have the

conn? Well, no.

A-As I recall,

Maryk was on the conn.

And I also recall warning him

not to stray too far out of formation.

But we did need to leave room for other

ships to come in and deal with that mine.

Well, how much room?

I don't remember exactly.

I-I just know that we had strayed

outside of our assigned sector,

and then, well, I pulled him

aside and admonished him.

Didn't you direct him to

return to station immediately?

Sir, everything was

happening very fast.

We had to mark the area

and then get out of there

and make room for other ships

to come into the area, as I said.

These are your factual

recollections, Commander?

Those are the facts, sir.

Resume your examination.

Commander, did

you make it a practice

to retire to your room during

minesweeping operations?

Well, that's an insulting

question. The answer is no.

I had to be on every side

of that bridge at all times.

I-I had Maryk as a navigator and Keith as

an officer of the deck at general quarters.

Invariably, they'd squirrel over

to the same side of the bridge

and I'd have to be captain, navigator and

officer of the deck all rolled up into one.

That's why I had to go from one side of

the bridge to the other all the time.

And that's the truth.

I don't care how many damn lies have

been told about me in this courtroom.

The court will

question the witness.

Sir, the witness is obviously and

understandably agitated by this ordeal

and I request a recess to

give him a breathing space.

I'm not agitated in the least.

I'm glad to answer

any and all questions.

In fact, I-I demand the

opportunity to set the record straight

for any derogatory statements made

about me in testimony that's gone before.

I didn't make a single mistake in the

15 months I was aboard the Caine,

and I-I can prove it.

I've had a spotless

record up until now

and I don't want it

being discredited

by these lies and distortions

told by these disloyal officers.

Commander, would

you like a recess?

Certainly not.

In fact, if I had

any say in this,

I would ask there be no recess.

Very well.

I simply want to ask,

if the performance of these two

officers was so unspeakably bad,

why did you tolerate it?

Why didn't you beach them or

rotate them out of your command?

Well, this is gonna sound

strange to you, sir, but,

well, the truth is I'm-I'm

a softhearted man

and not many people know that.

But I wanted to keep

them under... under eye

to try and train them up,

make them good officers.

L-Last thing I wanted to

do was wreck their careers.

A concern they certainly didn't

share for me. E-Either one of them.

Commander, on the morning

of the 18th of December,

the exact moment you

were relieved of command,

was the Caine in

the last extremity?

Certainly not. Was it in

grave danger at that moment?

Absolutely not. I was in

complete control of the ship.

And did you inform any of your

other officers of your intention

to change course,

come north at ten o'clock,

15 minutes after Lieutenant

Maryk relieved you of command?

Yes, yes. I made that statement

and that was my intention.

Then Lieutenant Maryk's decision to come

north was not a panicky, irrational blunder.

His panicky blunder

was relieving me.

I kept him from making any

disastrous mistakes thereafter.

I wasn't trying

to vindicate myself.

Commander, have you seen

Lieutenant Maryk's medical log?

Yes.

Yes, I've read that interesting

document. Yes, sir, I have.

Biggest conglomeration of lies

and distortions and half-truths

I've ever seen.

But I'm extremely glad

that you've asked

'cause I wanna get my

side of it all on the record.

Please.

Please give us your

version of any comments

factually related to

episodes in the log.

Okay, well, starting right

with that strawberry business.

The real truth is

that I was betrayed,

d-double-crossed

by my executive officer

and this precious

gentleman, Mr. Keith,

who between them

corrupted my wardroom

so I was one man

against the whole ship.

No support from

my officers, okay?

Now, you take

that strawberry business.

Why, if that wasn't a case of outright

conspiracy to protect a malefactor from justice.

Maryk carefully

leaves out the little fact

that I had conclusively proved

by a process of elimination

that someone had

a key to the fridge.

Now, he says the messmen

ate the strawberries.

But if I wanted

to take the trouble,

I could prove to this court

categorically that they couldn't have.

I-It's the water

business all over again.

Like when the crew was taking

showers seven times a day

and I tried to initiate the simplest

principles of water conservation.

But, no, Mr. Maryk,

the hero of the crew,

wanted to go right

on coddling them.

Well, you take that

coffee business.

Well... No.

No. Excuse me.

Sorry, sir.

Strawberry thing first. Okay.

Everything hinged on a

thorough search for the key,

and that's when Maryk and, as usual,

with help from Mr. Keith, fudged it.

Went through a lot of phony

motions, didn't prove anything.

Like thinking that the burning

out of the coffee makers,

which were government property,

was some kind of joke.

And that was the attitude of

everybody from Maryk on down.

No... No sense of responsibility.

And I kept emphasizing

over and over

that all of these things were

gonna have to be accounted for.

It was a constant battle.

Always... Always the same thing.

Maryk and Keith undermining

my authority, always arguing.

Now, I wanted... I wanted to

train Keith up to be a good officer,

but I was stabbed

in the back by...

Well...

Well, I... I think I've covered

that strawberry business.

And, yes, the

mess account business.

Well, I had to watch them like

a hawk, and believe me, I did.

Didn't sneak

any fast ones by me.

It wasn't for a lack of trying.

Instead of paying attention to

their accounts and their inventories,

which I would have to

go over again and again...

Always a few pennies short

or a couple dollars over.

But what do they care about keeping accurate

records? Let the captain worry about it.

Well, by God, I did.

I-I defy anyone to find a single wardroom

mess statement or ship service inventory

filed aboard the USS

Caine while I was captain

that had a mistake of

a single, solitary cent.

And by that, I mean, I defy a certified

public accountant to do it. Okay?

Well, what else?

There's so much bullshit

in that precious

log of Mr. Maryk's.

Yes!

Th-The movie business.

Okay, no respect for command.

Th-That was the whole

trouble with that ship.

The movie operator, who had

a disrespectful manner anyways,

started the movie without waiting for

the arrival of the commanding officer.

Out of that whole ship's

crew, officers and men,

did one person stand up and call a halt or

even notice that the captain wasn't present?

I missed those movies

more than they did.

I banned them, and,

by God, I'd do it again.

Wh-What was I supposed to do, start

issuing them all letters of commendation

for this gratuitous insult

to the commanding officer?

It's not like I

took it personal.

It's the principle. The principle

of respect for the command.

That principle was dead when I came

aboard that ship and I brought it to life.

And I nagged and I

bitched and I hollered,

and, by God, I made it

stick while I was captain!

And as I... as I say,

it wasn't just the

coffee makers.

It was a matter of respect.

When I ask a sailor a question,

I want a straight answer.

Nobody's gonna get away

with this shifty evasion,

if I have to hold a court

of inquiry for a week.

What do I care about strawberries?

It's a question of principle.

Stealing is stealing.

And on my ship...

Well, it's not like we got

a lot of nice treats anyway.

If we ever did get something

pleasant once in a blue moon,

like... like strawberries, well,

it was outrageous that I couldn't

have a second helping if I felt like it.

I wasn't gonna let them

get away with it, and I didn't.

By God, I never let anything

like that happen on that ship again!

As I say, I...

Okay, um...

H-How many of these

things have I covered?

I... I can only roughly

do this by memory.

If you ask me specific

questions, I'll...

I'll tackle those

one by one by one.

That won't be necessary, sir.

That was very thorough.

Thank you.

I draw the court's

attention to Exhibit 12.

Commander, I show you

an authenticated copy

of a fitness report that you

wrote for Lieutenant Maryk

July 1, 2022.

Do you recognize it as such?

Y-Yes.

And by this time had the

following events occurred...

The water shortage, the

coffee maker investigation,

the banning of the

movies, the Internet

and other events?

Yes, I believe so.

Please read your comments

on Lieutenant Maryk, July 1.

Well, n-not being vindictive,

I-I don't write down every

single, solitary instance.

A fitness report goes

into a man's record,

and, well, I've always

tried to go easy on them.

A-Always have, always will.

I appreciate that, sir.

Please read the comments.

"This officer has, if anything,

improved in his

performance of duty

since the last fitness report.

He is consistently

loyal, unflagging,

thorough, courageous

and efficient.

He is considered at present

fully qualified for command

of a 1,200-ton MCM.

His professional determination

and integrity set him apart

as an outstanding

example for other officers,

reserve and regular alike.

He cannot be too

highly commended."

Thank you.

No further questions.

No cross-examination.

You're excused, Commander.

Yes, sir.

Defense rests.

Is the trial counsel

ready for summation?

No summary, sir.

Prosecution rests.

No argument at all?

If it please the court,

I'm... I'm at a loss

to discuss the case the

defense has presented.

I have nothing to refute.

It's no case at all.

It has nothing to do

with the charge

or the specification.

The defense counsel's very

first question in this trial

was, "Commander, have

you ever heard the expression,

Old Yellowstain?"

That was the key

to his entire strategy,

which was simply to twist

the proceedings around

so that the accused would become

not Maryk, but Commander Queeg.

He has dragged out

every possible vicious

and malicious criticism of the

commander from the other witnesses

and forced Captain Queeg to defend

himself against them in open court,

on the spur of the moment,

without advice of counsel,

without any of the normal

privileges and safeguards

of an accused man

under naval law.

Can this court possibly

endorse the precedent

that a captain who doesn't please his

underlings can be deposed by them?

And then that the captain's

only recourse afterward

is to be placed at a witness

stand in a general court-martial

to answer every petty gripe

and justify all his

command decisions

to a hostile lawyer taking the

part of his insubordinate inferiors?

Such a precedent is nothing

but a blank check for mutiny.

It is the absolute destruction

of the chain of command.

However, all

this doesn't worry me.

I am confident

that this court hasn't been

impressed by such aggressive tactics.

I know that the court

is going to reject

this cynical play

on its emotions,

this... insult to

its intelligence,

and find the specification

proven by the facts.

I've only this to say.

Whatever the verdict

on the accused, I...

I formally recommend that

Defense Counsel Greenwald

be censured by this court

for conduct unbecoming

an officer of the Navy

and that this reprimand

be made part of his record.

Defense counsel.

Closing argument?

Please the court,

I undertook the defense of

the accused very reluctantly

and only at the urging of the judge advocate

that no other defense counsel was available.

I was reluctant

because I knew that the

only possible form of defense

was to prove the mental

incompetence of an officer of the Navy.

It has been the most unpleasant

duty I have ever had to perform.

However, once

having undertaken it,

I have done my best

to win an acquittal.

I thought this was my duty, both as

defense counsel appointed by the Navy

and as a member of the bar.

Let me make one thing clear.

It is not the contention

of the defense

that Commander Queeg is a coward

and that therefore, if he commits

questionable acts under intense fire,

the explanation

must lie elsewhere.

The court saw Commander

Queeg's bearing on the stand.

The court can imagine what

his bearing must have been like

at the height of the storm.

And on that basis,

the court can decide

the fate of the accused.

Before recessing,

the court will rule on the

recommendation to censure you.

Yes, sir.

This has been a

strange and tragic trial.

In the 248-year

history of the Navy,

there has been only

one other attempted mutiny.

You have conducted your

case with striking ingenuity.

But your conduct

has been puzzling

and it does raise questions.

Has your conduct

here been responsible,

Lieutenant Greenwald?

The reprimand,

if there is to be one,

must come from

your own conscience.

Court finds defense counsel

has not been in contempt.

Recommendation to

reprimand denied.

Court stands in recess

until further notice.

What happens now? Well,

that's the ball game.

And when do we find out?

If it's an acquittal, soon.

If not, well, they won't

publish their findings for weeks.

Okay.

You were terrific.

Thanks.

You m*rder*d Queeg up there.

Yes, I m*rder*d him.

I'm grateful to

you, win or lose.

Okay.

What's wrong?

Not a thing.

Well, look, I need to

ask you something.

What now?

Tom Keefer's having a

party tonight at the hotel.

This morning he got a

$10,000 advance on his novel.

Well, I hope he sells

a million copies,

wins the Nobel Prize, the Pulitzer

Prize, the Medal of Honor.

Wrap this whole thing up

in a nice, pink ribbon.

We're both invited.

What?

Look, I know what

you probably think.

But one way or

another, it's over.

I don't know what I would

have done in Tom's place.

You'd go to Keefer's party.

I'll go if you will, if

you think we should.

All right, quiet, quiet!

Quiet, you drunken

bums of the Caine!

Here he is, the guest of

honor, our courageous hero.

Hey! Whoo!

Speech! Speech,

speech, speech!

Speech!

Speech! Speech! No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Come on, Barney!

No, I-I-I'm drunker than any

of you guys.

I've been out with

the trial counsel,

trying to get her to take back some

of the dirty names she called me.

I finally got her to shake hands on the

third bourbon and soda, maybe the fourth.

That's good. That's good. I

had to talk loud and fast, Steve.

I played some pretty

dirty pool in court. Well...

Poor Katherine

Challee? Yeah.

So what's this?

It's a double celebration.

A cake baked like a book.

$10,000 came in the mail

today. Advance on my novel.

Very nice. Very nice.

I got something

in the mail today too.

What's that, Barney?

Medical clearance.

Orders back to my ship.

Leaving tomorrow.

Good.

Hey, that's great.

Ten thousand bucks?

You know, maybe I should

return the celebrated

author's toast.

Yes! A little,

little speech.

All right, all right, all right.

Here we go, here we go.

Okay.

w*r novel, isn't

it? That's right.

I assume you gave the

Navy a good screwing, yeah?

Yeah?

I don't think that Navy Public

Affairs would approve it at any rate.

Well, somebody should show up

these stupid, stuffy old pricks?

Yeah! Who's the hero, you?

If there's any similarities,

it is purely coincidental.

Okay, I'm warped and I'm drunk.

But it suddenly seems to

me, if I wrote a w*r novel,

I would try to make a

hero out of Old Yellowstain.

Come on.

That's right, I would. No. No.

No, I would.

And I'll tell you why.

You see, Mr. Keefer,

while I was studying law

and you were

writing short stories,

and Willie Keith was playing

on the fields of Princeton,

why, all that time, these...

These old birds we call regulars,

these stupid, stuffy pricks,

were standing guard

on our fat, dumb

and happy country.

Of course, they were

doing it for dough.

Same as anybody does anything.

But the question is,

in the last analysis...

I mean, what do you do

for dough? You and me.

We're advancing

our free little careers.

So when 9/11 happened and

so many of us rushed to join up

to fight those assholes that crashed

those planes into the Twin Towers...

You couldn't fight them with a

law book, so I... I went active.

I joined the Navy.

Maybe I'd fly over

the Middle East

and b*mb the sh*t out

of some t*rrorists, right?

Whoo!

But there were already a

lot of guys ready to do that.

And it wasn't me. Not yet.

Wasn't Tom Keefer,

still in school,

or Willie Keith in

midshipman training,

but Old Yellowstain

and guys like him.

They were already

on station, ready to go.

And they're a lot

smarter than any of us.

I mean, let's... Come on.

Let's not kid ourselves.

I mean, you don't get anywhere in the

all-volunteer, upwardly mobile American Navy

unless you're g*dd*mn good.

And these old-line pros, they may

not be up on the latest video game,

but they know how to

get a tough job done.

And they were standing by,

and they were ready to do it,

while the rest of us were still

trying to know sh*t from Shinola.

Barney. Hey,

Barney. It's over.

All right? Come on.

Let's just enjoy dinner.

Dinner's a sham,

Steve. You're guilty.

Of course, you're

only half guilty.

I mean, there was someone else

standing very neatly out of the picture,

the guy who started

the whole idea

that Queeg's a

dangerous paranoiac,

who argued you into

it for six months,

who coined the

nickname Old Yellowstain,

who pointed out the psychiatry books and

Article 1108 and kept hammering it at you.

All right, wait a minute here.

Yeah, yeah,

Mr. Keefer. That's right, yeah.

I had to drag it out of Steve.

Big dumb Polack tried to

tell me it was all his own idea.

He wouldn't know a paranoid from an

anthropoid. But you knew, didn't you?

You told him his medical log

was a clinical picture of a paranoid.

You advised him to go to Admiral

Williams. You offered to go with him.

You didn't get cold feet until you stood

on Williams's quarterdeck in Bahrain.

Yeah, and then you ducked, and

you've been ducking ever since.

I don't know where

you're getting all this.

Biggest favor you

could have done Steve,

as far as winning

an acquittal went,

though I doubt you realize it.

But if there is a

guilty party, it's you.

If you hadn't filled

Steve Maryk's thick head

full of paranoia

and Article 1108,

why, he'd have... he'd have

got Queeg to come north.

Or he'd have helped him

pull through to the south.

And the Caine wouldn't

have been yanked out of action.

And that...

That is your contribution

to the good old USA, my friend...

Pulling a minesweeper out of the

Persian Gulf when it was most needed.

That... That... and

f*cking Multitudes, Multitudes.

You're drunk.

You know, excuse me, okay?

I'm all done.

You know, here's to you.

You bowled a perfect score. You

went after Queeg, and you got him.

You kept your own

whites all starchy,

and you wrote your novel

proving the Navy sucks,

and you'll say, you know, you'll make

a million dollars, marry a movie star.

And so you won't mind a

little verbal reprimand from me.

What does it all mean?

You know, I-I

defended Steve Maryk

because I realized the

wrong guy was on trial.

And the only way I could defend

him was to m*rder Queeg for you.

And I'm pissed off that I was put in

that position. I'm ashamed of what I did.

And that's why I'm drunk.

Queeg deserved better.

He served this

country for 21 years.

So I'm not gonna

eat your dinner,

drink your wine.

I'll make my toast and go.

So here's to you.

Here's to Caine's

favorite author.

Here's to your book.

Baby's into runnin' round

Hangin' with the crowd

Puttin' your business

In the street

Talkin' out loud

Sayin' you bought

her This and that

And how much you done spent

I swear she must believe

It's all heaven sent

Hey, boy

You better bring

Your chick around

To the sad, sad truth

The dirty lowdown

I wonder, wonder

Wonder, wonder who

Taught her how To talk like that

I wonder, wonder

Wonder, wonder who

Gave her that big idea

Nothin' you can't handle

Nothin' you ain't got

Put your money on the

table And drive it off the lot

Turn on that old love light

And turn a "Maybe" To a "Yes"

Same old schoolboy game

Got you into this mess

Hey, son

Better get on back to town

Face the sad old truth

The dirty lowdown

I wonder, wonder

Wonder, wonder who

Put those ideas In your head

I wonder, wonder

Wonder, wonder who

Well

Come on back down Little son

Dig the low, low

Low, low, lowdown

You ain't got to be so

bad Got to be so cold

This dog eat dog existence

Sure is getting old

Gotta have a jones

for this Jones for that

This runnin' With the Joneses

Boy, just ain't

Where it's at, no, no

You gonna come back around

To the sad, sad truth

The dirty lowdown

I wonder, wonder

Wonder, wonder who

Got you thinking Like that, boy

I wonder, wonder

Wonder, wonder who

I wonder, wonder

Wonder, wonder who

Said I wonder, wonder

Wonder, wonder who

Look out For that lowdown

I wonder, wonder

Wonder, wonder who

That dirty, dirty

Dirty, dirty lowdown

I wonder, wonder

Wonder, wonder who

I wonder, wonder

Wonder, wonder who

Got you thinkin' like that

Got you thinkin' By yourself

Lookin' that girl In the face

It'sasadaffair

Ashamedofyourself

I wonder, wonder

Wonder, wonder who