01x09 - The Tale of the Sorcerer's Apprentice

[bunniefuu]

There it is.

It's a grave.
It's probably somebody's dog.

Yeah, right.
There's only one reason

- why you bury things out here.
- Why?

Because you want to
hide the evidence.

I'll bet my Michael Jordon
rookie card

we find a maggot-ridden corpse.

Really?

- Aah!
- Run! Run!

Ha ha!

- Psych!
- Psych!

Eric was the best.
"Run! Run!"

- I wasn't that scared.
- Yeah, right.

It was cruel and immature.

Hey, excuse me for adding
a little fuel to the fire.

Well, it wasn't funny.

Speaking of fuel to the fire,
who's going tonight?

Me.

Ah! Another gore fest?

My story's about a head
of a different sort--

an ancient wizard's
good-luck charm.

Pick it up, and the world
can be your oyster,

but let the holder beware--

this charm may be more
than you bargained for.

Submitted for the approval
of the Midnight Society,

I call this story...

[Betty Ann] The story takes
place today, but it began years ago.

In fact, it truly began centuries ago,
but I'm jumping ahead.

[door opens]

- [men talking]
- Over there!

[footsteps]

Come on. This way.

[bell rings]

[clock ticking]

[Betty Ann] Dean Burkham was
the kind of guy who blended in.

He didn't have many friends,
he didn't do sports,

and he never joined anything.
He just kind of... was.

And he wasn't so great
with schoolwork either.

Mr. Burkham,
you are sinking to perdition.

[Betty Ann]
One of Dean's only friends was Alix.

Though she was
his complete opposite,

they really connected
and had a great friendship,

but it was a friendship about
to be put to the ultimate test.

Thanks.
I'm useless today.

You? Ha!
What's up?

Another Crenshaw
chemistry catastrophe.

- Ooh! Ugly.
- I studied hard for this.

I don't get it, Al.
I can't catch a break.

If you keep thinking that way,

you're always going
to get dumped on.

I know. I'm trying.

I have a feeling your luck's
going to change soon.

Great. Just as long as
it doesn't get any worse.

[Betty Ann] In world cultures
class, there was a special guest--

A famous archaeologist
named Dr. Oliver.

Archaeology...

the study of historic
or prehistoric peoples

by analysis of their artifacts,
inscriptions, and monuments.

The work is often painstaking,

but the results can
take you on adventures

that will stagger your imagination.

For instance, the High Priests
of Babylon used this golden dagger

to cut out the hearts of
slaves for their sacrifices.

Ooh! Gross!

This bowl was used for salt--

not as a spice, mind you,
but as a w*apon.

Some ancient cultures
believed that salt

was the best way to ward off evil...
sort of like garlic is to vampires.

And this little prize
was recently excavated

from an ancient Babylonian
sorcerer's temple.

That thing belonged to a sorcerer?

Inscriptions say that
this scepter belonged to Goth,

a particularly nasty magician

who enslaved thousands
to do his evil bidding.

The writings say that following
Goth will bring you incredible fortune

and good luck.

Crossing him will lead
to your destruction.

Of course, we don't believe
in such silly things today, do we?

[bell rings]

"Goth will bring you
incredible fortune

or lead you to your destruction."
Who is she kidding?

- I thought it was kind of cool.
- Give me a break.

She's trying to make her job
sound more exciting than it really is.

Maybe.

I'm going to the library.
Want to come?

Nah.
I got some stuff to do.

OK. See you later.

- Piqued your interest, did I?
- Yeah.

It's become a passion for me--

unlocking the secrets of
ancient civilizations.

- It's pretty cool.
- Indeed.

Take your time.
Don't be afraid to touch.

Maybe I found another convert.
That's what I'm here for.

You may begin.

Yes, Mr. Burkham?

Here's my test, Ms. Crenshaw.

Is this supposed to be funny?

Is there a problem, Ms. Crenshaw?

Uh... no.

No problem.

Thank you, Mr. Burkham.

Hey, Dean. Dean.
Wait up!

What was that all about?
Why didn't you take the test?

I did take it. I aced it.

No way.

What's the matter?
Don't think I can ace a test?

Or maybe you think I'm useless,
just like everybody else.

What?
What's wrong with you?

Nothing's wrong with me.
Everything is finally right,

and I'm going to
prove to everybody

that I'm not the loser
they think I am.

Dean!

[Betty Ann] But something
was wrong with Dean,

and Alix knew it.

He wouldn't talk to her

and started hanging
with a whole new group of kids.

Then one day,
things took a very strange turn.

Dean?

Mercuric acid?

What does he want with that?

The acid is the medium.

It creates the pathway.

The Belladonna Plant
is the Nightshade.

Together they create
the Mystic Vapors.

The return of Goth is at hand.

[thud]

Go!

Welcome, Goth,
ruler of the Nether Realm.

I have waited centuries for an
apprentice such as you, young one.

The Acolytes have been gathered.

- We are ready.
- Excellent.

There is one final task to be
performed before I am freed

from this infernal
dimension of darkness.

I await your command.

Before the moon rises tonight,
you must gather the Nightshade

and prepare the Cauldron.
The Mystic Vapors must be released.

The Cauldron will be prepared.

Do this, my young apprentice,

and all that you desire
shall be yours,

and the power of
the universe will be mine.

[sinister laughter]

[evil laughter]

[furniture clatters]

Stop her!

Dr. Oliver! Dr. Oliver!

She's gone, Alix.

Ms. Crenshaw.
I have to talk to Dr. Oliver.

She left yesterday on to a new
school and new minds to reach.

Can I help you with something?

Something really strange
is going on here.

It's that scepter thing she brought.

It's got Dean hypnotized
or something.

Relax, child.
There's no reason to be alarmed.

Join us...

- and join Goth.
- Aah!

[evil laughter]

Hello, Alix.

Don't be scared.
It's only me.

I am scared.
What's going on?

Dean, what are you doing?

- You called it--
- My luck finally changed.

I'm not getting dumped on anymore.

I'm in charge,
and I like it.

You're not in charge.
It's this Goth.

Goth has given me the power,

and I'm using it to bring him back.

Dean, he's a monster!

Look at what I've done.

People follow me now.
They take my orders.

Half the school is with me,
even the teachers.

Dean, look at me.
He's controlling you.

You've got to come back
and fight this guy.

- You're my best friend, Alix.
- I am.

- Come back.
- That's why I'm going to let you go.

Don't get in my way.

It doesn't matter anyway.
You'll be one of us soon enough.

Dean?

Mercuric acid?

Sorry, Dean.
It's police time.

[gasp]

Hurry.
The moon will rise soon.

- Let me go!
- She followed us.

- And she's ticked.
- Now, back off.

- Are you crazy?
- I gave you one chance to escape, Alix.

I won't give you another.

- Put her in the van.
- Dean, wake up!

Excellent. They're going
to boil her in that stuff?

What is it?
Whatcha-ma-call-it acid?

- Mercuric acid.
- I hate chemistry.

The acid has to do with
those mystic vapors, right?

- Maybe.
- So what happened next?

Looks like Alix's goose is cooked.

Alix may have been backed into
a corner, but she's resourceful.

[Alix]
Where are we going?

There's a place in this school
not many people know about.

It's been closed off
for more than years.

They say a girl went mad in there.

She broke into the school one night.

The guards chased her all over.

When they found her,
she was down here...

totally out of her mind.

The room's been
sealed off ever since...

until tonight, that is.

Got the key from the security guard.

He is one of us now.

It's the perfect place to make
our Cauldron of Mystic Vapors.

- Excellent.
- Dean!

Keep her here.

The time has come.

First we need the pathway.

You two, help them.

You've been so curious, Alix.

I thought you'd want
to stay for the main event.

Stop it, Dean!
Stop it now!

Open the barrels!

Pour the acid.

Soon, my master.
You will be with us.

The Belladonna leaves!

Nightshade.

Dean, better stop it,
or I'll smash this.

Too late!

I told you-- too late!

I'm far too powerful now.

[deep voice]
The Mystic Vapors.

I've done it.
Rise, Mighty Goth!

Your apprentice calls to you!

Ahh...

Yes! Come back.

Heed ye, all who cross my path.

Goth, Master of Stygian Arts,
has returned from exile

in the Dark Nether World
to take my rightful place

on the throne of humanity.

Bow before me,
or feel my wrath!

No! Go back!

You!

You are the one who interferes!
You must be eliminated.

- Dean, help!
- Alix? What's going on?

Do not interfere.

The girl is mine.

Alix, I'm stuck!
I can't move!

Patience, my sl*ve.
I will return for you soon enough.

- Dean, do something!
- You should be honored.

You shall be the first victim
of my reign.

- Dean?
- Alix, the chlorine!

Use the chlorine!

Fear not.
The pain will not last long.

Pour it in the pool!

[Goth laughs sinisterly]

Your human science
has no hope of...

What's happening?
The Nightshade. It's...

- [expl*si*n]
- No!

What happened?

I'm sorry, Alix.

It was like...
it was like he had control of me.

I know.

But how did you know
the chlorine would stop him?

It was on Crenshaw's
chemistry exam.

Chlorine kills Bacteria,
and the leaves were organic,

so I figured it would zap him.

I guess I was right.

Yeah, I guess you were.

Welcome back.

I'm afraid we failed...

But I planted jewels in
high schools all over the country.

We'll have another chance.

And to think when I was a young girl,
they thought I was mad!

[laughs sinisterly]

- The End.
- I smell a sequel.

Yeah.
The world's doomed.

Well, on that cheerful note,

I declare this meeting
of the Midnight Society closed.