02x13 - The Tale of Old Man Corcoran

[bunniefuu]

[Child laughing]

[Thunder rumbles]

Home free.

Safe!

Home free!

Safe.

Home free!

[Laughter]

- Oh, man, not again.
- Sorry, pal.

You lose.
You're it.

But I was just it
three times.

[Scoffs]
Too bad.

I'll be it.

Why don't we just tell
the story?

Why are we playing
this dumb kids' game, anyway?

- Who's going tonight?
- I am.

And it's not
a dumb kids' game.

I wanted us to play
hide-and-seek

to get in the mood
for my story.

How's a game gonna get us
in the mood for a scary tale?

Because hide-and-seek is not
like any other game.

You start off in a group,

but when you're out there
in the dark,

you're all alone.

You got to hide
and be real quiet,

'cause you never know

when somebody might jump out
and catch you.

[Wolf howls in distance]

My story is about a game
of hide-and-seek

but with a twist.

When you play the game
in my story,

you never know when
you'll get caught.

And you never know who or what
might catch you.

Submitted for the approval
of the Midnight Society,

I call this story...

Jack and Kenny Harris just
moved into the neighborhood

and hadn't made
many friends yet.

It's never easy being
the new kids on the block.

You'll do almost anything
to fit in.

But Jack and Kenny are
about to find out that

that's not always
such a good idea.

[Bike gears whirring]

[Playful music]

[Water hissing]

Ugh!

Sucker sh*t!

- You're dead!
- [Laughing]

- Jack!
- Say "uncle"!

- Jack, look!
- Say it!

Jack!

What's up?

- What do you want?
- Jack.

I want to say hello.

Hey, I'm Kenny.
This is my brother, Jack.

I saw you guys moving in
last week.

- Where are you from?
- East side.

East side?
[Scoffs]

Nice neighborhood.

- Toughest in the city.
- Yeah, that's why we moved.

So you guys like it here?

I don't know; it's kind of
a loser neighborhood.

It is not.
We like it a lot better here.

You guys made
any friends yet?

Well, if you want,
you see those guys over there?

Yeah.

We get together
every once in a while

For a game of hide-and-seek.

We're playing tonight,
if you guys want to come.

- Uh, I don't think so.
- Why not?

Well, it's just
a stupid kids game.

That's okay.

You guys are probably too afraid
to play where we do, anyway.

Where do you play?

End of anchor street,
behind the big gates.

Why do you say we'd be
too afraid to play there?

[Chuckles]
Let's just say...

It gets pretty dark in there
at night.

Yeah, well, we're not chicken,
are we, Kenny?

[Scoffs]
No.

Meet us there at sunset,

unless you're afraid.

What does he mean
"unless you're afraid"?

I don't know.
It's a kids' game, right?

What's so scary
about hide-and-seek?

- You're kidding, right?
- Come on, let's go.

We're going in there?

You're the one who wanted
to make friends, remember?

Let's go!

[Foreboding music]

[Grunts]

Ooh.

[Straining]

Jack?

Jack!

- Hey!
- [Gasps]

This way.

Where are they?

Boo!

Oh, man, you should've seen
your faces.

You're a comic genius.
Where is everybody?

Out in the graveyard.
We didn't think you'd show.

Now we're gonna
have to start over.

Olly, olly, oxen free!

Olly, olly,
oxen free!

How you doing?

Hi.

That's Ron Jacobson,
Scott Walden,

Laura Ires, Mary-Alice Weirden,
and Cissy Vernon.

Cissy?

Just call me Vernon.

What are they doing here?

I invited them.

We got enough people
in the group.

We don't need any more.

Sure we do.
The more, the better.

Hope you don't scare easy.

What's there
to be scared about?

It's just a graveyard.
Everyone's dead here.

- Well, kinda.
- What are you talking about?

You didn't tell them
the legend of Old Man Corcoran?

The legend of who?

Old Man Corcoran.
He was a groundskeeper here.

He used to dig the graves
by hand.

No machinery.

He thought he owned the place.

So he'd walk around at night
all by himself,

just to make sure
no one was trespassing.

If he wasn't here, he'd be out
in the woods by his cabin,

just playing his harmonica.

That's not much of a legend.

[laughing]
Oh, it gets better.

They say he was crazy.

They say he caught this kid
stealing something

from his shack,

so he took an a*

and cut his hand off!

Wham!

One day,
he was digging a grave

when all of a sudden,

the sides caved in on him.

He was buried alive.

Gross.

Some say he still walks
the graveyard at night,

looking for trespassers.

And if it's real quiet,

you might even hear him
playing his harmonica

off in the distance.

You call that scary?

sh**t, my grandma's scarier
than that.

Yeah, you should try living
in our old neighborhood.

Now, that's scary.

Yeah, I'd like to see how long
you'd last in there, Vermin.

- That's Vernon.
- Whatever.

Old Man Corcoran's out there.

I'll believe it
when I see it.

Are we gonna play
or stand around talking?

We're gonna play,
all of us.

The tree's home base.

Hide anywhere you want.

Anything outside the fence
is out-of-bounds.

Last one in is it.

Ron, you're up.

Ready?
Go!

One, two, three...

[Malevolent music]

This is lame.
We should just go home.

No, if we go now,
we'll never make any friends.

"Remember friends
as you pass by.

"As you are now,
so once was I.

Remember in life
that you must die."

Yuck.

Oh, man, Kenny,
come here!

They must be burying
somebody soon.

Aieee!
Jack, stop it!

[Laughs]
Don't be such a baby.

This would be
a great hiding place.

Till it caved in.

[Harmonica playing
in distance]

- Shh, shh.
- What is that?

[Harmonica playing]

Hey, it's coming
from in there.

Do you think
it's Old Man Corcoran?

Nah, it's probably one of them
trying to scare us.

Let's go find them.

[Crickets chirping]

[Harmonica playing]

Look!
Old Man Corcoran's shack.

[Door creaks open]

[Door slams shut]

Get down!

[Harmonica playing]

[Footsteps approaching]

When they get close,
we jump out and scare them.

[Chuckles]

[a* chopping]

You think they brought an a*
all the way out here

just to play a joke on us?

That's what I would do.

[Grunts]

What if it's really
Old Man Corcoran?

[Scoffs]
You've seen too many movies.

[Door creaking]

[Door slams shut]

No one's there.

Look.
What's that?

It's a harmonica.

- Let's get out of here.
- Yeah.

Olly, olly, oxen free!
[Both yell]

[Yelps]

[Both screaming]

[Frantic music]

Come on, Kenny.
He's right behind you.

He's right behind us!
He's a dead guy!

[Groans]

[Fabric ripping]

Jack!

It's caught onto my pants.

[Straining]

[Both yelling]

What?

This is all your fault.

If you hadn't ripped
your stupid pants,

Mom wouldn't have made us
sweep the garage.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you're the one who wanted
to go there in the first place.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

I wish mom never went back
to school.

Then we wouldn't have moved,

and we'd still be with
our old friends.

Mom went through a lot to get
us out of that old neighborhood.

Don't ever wish we were
back there in front of her.

Hey, you guys are pretty good.

Why don't you come
do my room next?

[Laughter]

Hey, so you guys
playing tonight?

Tonight? Again?

Well, you didn't get
to finish the game last night.

Uh... I don't think
we're up to it.

- Why not?
- We just aren't.

I told you they were chicken.

We're not!

Vern just told you that story
to scare you.

She doesn't want anyone else
joining the group.

I thought you said
you weren't afraid of ghosts?

I said I'd believe it
when I see it, and I saw it.

You didn't see anything.

They told you a story,

and your mind filled in
the rest.

No, we saw
Old Man Corcoran.

[Laughing]
Sure, you did.

[Clucks mockingly]

That's enough.
We'll be there tonight.

Great.
See you there.

Jack, I don't want to make
friends that bad.

This isn't about making
friends anymore, Kenny.

We got to prove
we can handle it here.

We're gonna play their game.

- Man, let's play already.
- Yeah, they're not coming.

They'll be here.

What's the big deal

about letting them
in the group, anyway?

I'm tired of the same people
all the time.

We haven't had
any new players since...

Since I joined?

And you said after me,
there wasn't gonna be any more.

Guess he was wrong.

You guys got more guts
than I thought.

Aren't you afraid Old Man
Corcoran's gonna get you?

Shut up about
that stupid story!

There's no such thing
as Old Man Corcoran.

Now let's play.

- You're both it.
- How do you figure that?

You left the game early
last night,

and since you wimps
are so scared,

you can be it together.

Yeah, why don't you babies
hold hands?

[Laughter]

[Owl hooting]

Both: One, two, three, four--

You think it's gonna be
like this all the time?

- five, six, seven,

eight, nine--

I just want to make
some friends.

- ten.
Let's go.

[suspenseful music]

[Wind blowing]

This is stupid.
We're never gonna get anybody.

[Harmonica playing]

Listen.
Hear that?

- No.
- It's Old Man Corcoran.

- Come on!
- [Sighs] Man.

[Sighs heavily]

[Harmonica playing]

Hey, why don't we get
the others

and all go in together?

No; by the time we get back,
he'll be gone.

Old Man Corcoran's out there,
and we're gonna prove it.

How?

We're gonna steal
his harmonica.

[a* chopping]

[a* chopping continues]

[Bizarre string music]

[Whispers]
There it is!

[Tense music]

[Rustling]

[Grunts]

- Let's get out of here.
- Not yet.

[Dramatic music crescendo]

Thwack!

[Playing harmonica]

[Door creaking]

[Door slams shut]

- That was close.
- Yeah, he almost saw us.

No, I mean we were so close
to getting the harmonica.

Now we're gonna have
to go get it.

We don't need
the harmonica.

Let's just get the others
out here to see him.

[Sighs]

- Where are you going?
- To get the others.

Get back here!

Chicken.

I'll get it myself.

[Sighs]

If I die, it's his fault.

[Suspenseful music]

[Wolf howling in distance]

Hello?

Hello?

[Foreboding music]

Hey!

Oh, great.

[Door creaking]

Hey!
[Sighs]

[Distorted music playing]

[Both scream]

What are you doing here?
I got scared.

But look what I found.

Now we've got proof.
Now they have to believe us.

Yeah, give me
the flashlight.

I'm not holding
the flashlight.

Well, I'm not holding
the flashlight.

Jack?

Give me my harmonica.

[Both screaming]

[Grunting]

Come on!

[Both screaming]

Thud!

- You okay?
- Yeah.

Get out of here.
I was here first.

Vern, shut up and listen.
We saw Old Man Corcoran again.

He's up there,
and he's after us.

I stole his harmonica.

- I don't want you here!
- Did you hear what I just said?

- Get out of here!
- Make me!

Aw, come on,
let's go, Jack.

I don't like being
in here, anyway.

Hurry up.

We're leaving.

Go find your own grave.

Sorry.
Didn't see your name on it.

Well, look a little closer
next time.

Hi, guys.
[Both gasp]

Sorry.
Didn't mean to scare you.

Man, you got to get
out of here.

Jack stole Old Man Corcoran's
harmonica, and he's been--

Guys, the Old Man Corcoran
stories are getting old.

We're playing a game here.

Come on, get in.
It's a great hiding place.

Man, will you forget
about the stupid game?

Don't you want to play?
They can never find you in here.

Come on.

[Gasps]

What are you doing here?

We... we were playing
hide-and-seek.

In a graveyard?

Just the two of you?

No, with our friends.

Cissy Vernon, Ron Jacobson,
Marshal McClain.

That ain't very funny.

All those kids
are dead and buried.

I dug the graves myself.

[Creepy organ music]

What's wrong with you two?

You look like
you seen a ghost.

[Dramatic music]

The end.

So does anyone want to play
the dumb kids' game again?

Not it.

- Not it.
- Not it!

- Not it.
- Not--

You're it.

[Sighs]
[Laughter]

Ha! Goof!
[Laughs]

[Sighs]

One, two,

Three, four, five,

Six, seven, eight...