03x07 - The Tale of the Carved Stone

[bunniefuu]

[Child's laughter]

Ow!

What happened?

Somebody gave me a
flat tire, Frank.

I'm in front
of you, dork.

Then who stepped on my-
-- Shh!

What is it?

We got company.
Look.

Maybe it's Gary.

Do you think?

Yeah. It's probably some costume
he got from his dad's store.

Yeah. He's probably
just trying to spook us.

Yo, Gary.

We know it's you.
Cut it out.

Gary: Cut what out?

I-i-if you're here...

Then, then who's the guy
with the hat?

[All sigh]

Did you do that?

Yeah, OK. I confess.

Man, you really had us going.

[Sighs]

What is all this?

I found it in a trunk
in my dad's store.

Help me out here, Sam.

It was supposedly worn by
a strange order of monks

hundreds of years ago.

Cool.

Yeah. Legend says these guys
were truly evil.

The stories say they
had this magical power

to take over
people's minds,

and control
the forces of nature.

Obviously, they're not
around anymore.

But I had this idea.

What if
these mystical monks

had so much magical power

that they learned
how to control the one thing

that would make them
dangerous forever?

Time.

Submitted for the approval
of the Midnight Society,

I call this story...

Alison Denny
and her family

just moved into town.

It's tough being the new kid,

and having to make new friends.

Alison knew that.

What she didn't know

was just how dangerous

making a new friend

was going to be.

I hate this place.

Why did we have
to move here, anyway?

T.J.B. Was here.

Well, TJ, I wish
you still were.

I wish anybody was here.

Hello. Hey!

Hey!

You, you dropped your...

[Crunching]

Aw, great way
to make friends, clutz.

Where am I supposed
to find another pair of these?

Well, .

?

All right, .

You know what I went
through to get this?

The guy could have
k*lled me.

Well, that's none
of my beeswax.

, or I'm taking
everything over

to Uncle Bobo's
house of magic.

Uncle Bobo?
That clown?

All right, but I'm
losing on the deal.

Hello?

Shh, there's a customer.
Go away, go away!

What can I do for you?

Are you Mr. Sardo?

That's Sardo.

No mister,
accent on the do.

So, what are you looking for?

Hmm? A potion, a rare book?

A priceless magical object
that only I can provide?

No, I just need
another pair of these.

That'll be ..

You're sure
there's nothing else?

[Coins clattering]

Have you seen our vomit?

[Bangs head]
Excuse me?

How's about a crystal ball?

No, thanks.

You're not from around here,
are you?

No, we just moved in
last week.

The old brown brick
house on Maple Lane?

New kid, eh? Well, then,

I don't suppose
I could interest you

in a flask
of popularity potion?

Are you serious?
A popularity potion?

Wait right there.

I just bought this from...
I mean, um...

I've searched
the world over

for the curios contained
in this chest.

Observe.

Um, there's got
to be something...

I mean, um,
where is that potion?

[Cries out]

Aha!

That's not a potion.

No, no, of course not.

It's much better
than a potion.

It's a...It's an Egyptian
friendship stone.

Let me see.

How does it work?

It's quite simple.

Um, you just hold it
in your hand,

close your eyes,

and recite the ancient
Egyptian spell.

Amrak...

Vitulin...

Ra.

Amrak vitulin ra.

Yes.
And then what?

That's it. Presto,
you'll have more friends

than you'll know
what to do with.

I don't know. How much
did you say this was?

Well, it is very rare
and very powerful.

It's practically a steal
at, um...

$.

$?

. I distinctly
said . .

Forget it.

Now wait. Uh,
how much have you got?

After the glasses,
I've got $

and cents.

Sold. But I'm losing
on the deal.

[Growls]

Amrak vitulis...

Amrak vitulin spa.

No, that's not right.

What's the stupid spell?

[Doorbell rings]

Uh, are you Alison?

Uh, yeah. I am.

Well, you were
outside before,

and you dropped these.

Don, that's what
you called us

to come all the way
over here for,

some stupid glasses?

Well, yeah.
I mean, I'm new,

and I thought we could,
you know...

Forget this.
Get a life, OK?

Come on, Don.

Well, thanks. Bye.

Sure.

I'm such a loser.

Egyptian friendship stone?

Yeah, right.

Hello? Hello.

Anybody, anybody here?

Hello.

Hey, Mr. Sardo.
Are you OK?

That's Sardo, not...

Are you sure
you're all right?

Everything is fine.

Well, I think I
want a refund, OK?

[Imitating Sardo] Please
leave. The store is closed.

But your sign says
you're open until--

did you hear what I said? I
command you to leave at once.

[Clattering]

Now, for the last time,
shopkeeper,

where...

Is the amulet?

I told you,
I don't know.

It was in this chest

which you snatched
from its hiding place

just this very morning.

I didn't snatch it,

and I haven't seen
any amulet.

But if it's charms
you're interested in--

look into my eyes.
Do I have to?

Look, you babbling mortal,
into my eyes.

I seek the amulet
of Ankara.

It is a most unusual
black stone,

elaborately carved.

Now what have you
done with it?

I sold it
this afternoon.

You sold it.
To whom?

To the new girl.

New girl.
She lives in

brown brick house.
Brown brick house.

Maple Lane.
On Maple Lane.

It was--
yes?

It was--
yes?

It was... her.
Yes!

[Inhales deeply]

Yeah. OK.

Well, what are you
gonna see?

Oh.

Yeah, I'm making
lots of friends.

OK. You guys have fun
at the movie.

Yeah. OK. Bye.

Egyptian friendship stone.

Well, if you're
a friendship stone,

then I'm Madonna.

Hello?

Who's there?

Alison.

Alison Denny?

Look at me, Alison.

Look into my eyes.

Gaze into my eyes.

Who are you?
What do you want?

I believe you have
what I want, Alison.

Just keep looking
into my eyes.

It's the amulet I want.

I need the amulet.

No. Go away.

Stop! Go no further.

No, no, no, no. Oh, no!

Aaaaagggggghhhhhhhhhh!

Who are you?

Hey, how'd you do that?

How did you get
in my room?

Your room?

This is my room.

What happened?
What's going on?

I don't know. You came
flying out of my mirror.

Your mirror?
Who are you?

I'm Thomas Jefferson
Bradshaw,

and this is
my grandmother's house.

No, this is our house.

We moved in here
last week.

Are you sure
of the address?

Both: Maple Lane.

Wow. Something really weird
just happened.

I want you to leave.
Now.

Thomas Jefferson Bradshaw.

This is my room,
but it's different.

Listen, Tom, I'm Alison,

and I think I've got
some kind of magic stone.

Magic stone?

This. It changed the mirror
and I saw you,

like it opened a door to a different
dimension, or a different...

What's the date today?

March .

Yeah, but what year?

What year? Don't you
know anything?

It's .

Are you serious?
?

That's over years ago.

Tom, this stone let me
travel back in time.

This is my house,
only years ago.

Golly, it sounds like a story
Jules Verne would write.

Yeah, or Steven Spielberg.

Who?

I don't believe this.

I mean,
look at this stuff.

Oh, those are
my parents.

[Coughing]

Who's that?

Shh. That's
my grandmother.

If she wakes up,
she's gonna cane me.

That's terrible.
What about your parents?

Oh, well, they d*ed
when I was younger.

I was their only child.

Really? I'm an only child too.

What about your friends?

I don't have any.

My grandmother never
lets me out of the house.

You're kidding.
That's gross.

Were you allowed to bring
friends into this house

in your time?

I would have,
if I had any.

I'm not exactly
miss popularity.

Alison, are you
really from the future?

Well, yeah,
I guess I am.

Golly jeepers.
It must be wonderful.

Hey, why don't
I show you?

Show me? How?

Well, we'll go back the way
I came, through the mirror.

I mean--
Oh, this could be great.

I could take you
to a movie

and get a pizza.

Man, you're gonna die
when you see video games.

Die? I don't
want to die.

I didn't mean die as in,
like, check-out time.

It's a figure of speech.
Come on.

Check-out time? Hmm.

Will it work
with any mirror?

I don't know.
Let's see.

What's wrong?

Well, there was this
really horrible man

outside my house.

He wanted the stone.

Yeah, well, don't worry.

I got a crackerjack sh*t.

OK. We got to go
through sometime.

Yup.

Jeepers.

It's, it's my house.

And mine.

Oh, right. Our house.

So... what does
the future look like?

[Doorbell rings]

Oh.

[Knock on door]

Tom: Aaaagggghhhh!

Don't scream.
You'll wake the neighbors.

Is that the man?

No, it's OK. What
are you doing here?

I came to warn you
about that stone.

It appears it really is
a powerful amulet.

Yeah.
I found that out.

It seems it belongs

to a rather nasty fellow

by the name
of Brother Septimus.

He was supposed to have been
hanged in the th century--

give me the amulet.

What do we do?

This way.

Oh, you will suffer

the torment
of eternal pain

for having crossed
me, Mr. Shopkeeper.

Eternal pain
seems rather harsh.

Yes, but I'll not
be denied any longer!

Either you retrieve
the amulet,

or I shall
slice open

your miserable
carcass

and serve it to the
great rats of the abyss.

Ouch.

Hey, mister.

Look what I have.

Why, you impertinent
little--

Here!

Gotcha!

Sardo: What's happening?

Oh, my!

[Growls]

You will pay, child!

What happened?
Come on!

We've got to help tom
get out of the future.

Help? I don't even
know what's going on.

Come on.

When you hold the amulet
next to a mirror,

it opens a door
through time.

A door through time.

This could be
worth millions.

We have to get tom
before Septimus does.

Not so fast.
Not so fast.

Now, if I could just get
past that horrid demon person,

I could turn this
into a small fortune.

Or better still,
a huge fortune.

Mr. Sardo, wait.

That's sardo, not--
Oh, skip it.

How does it work?

Like this?

Aaaaaggggghhhhhhhh!

Give me the amulet.

I-I-don't have the amulet.

I grow so weary
of this game, child.

You know not the power
with which you deal.

You will suffer

for having toyed
with me. Now--

Leave her alone.

I got your rock.

You... pathetic
little urchin?

[Laughing]

You believe
you are a match for me?

You and your little toy?

[Laughing]

All fall on their knees
before me.

Don't look into his eyes.

Even death himself
bows to me,

the Great Septimus.

You see,
I need the amulet.

It was so much easier

traveling through time
to claim my victims.

I have gone
far too long without one.

You... shall have the honor

of being my next.

[Chuckling]

Tom!

No!

Check-out time.

[Glass shattering]

Where's the stone?

You got it,
didn't you?

[Septimus moaning]

[Moaning]

Aaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhh!

Tom: Alison!

Tom! Tom,
where are you?

I'm down here,
Alison.

Come on through!

It's too late.

But you have to.

I can't.

I'm sorry.

Don't be.

I'm glad I finally
made a friend.

Good-bye, Alison.

Good-bye.

Have a good life.

My, what an interesting
twist of fate.

What? What is it?

Alison and Tom,
friends forever.

The amulet was gone.

Brother Septimus
was never seen again.

And Alison
would never forget

the first friend she made
in her new home.

I declare this meeting

of the Midnight Society closed.

Until next time.

Nice going, bro.

Can I try
your hat on?