01x08 - Revenge of the Mooninites

[bunniefuu]

Gentlemen, behold!

What?

Just hang on.

And now...

Behold!

You supposed to do something or--

am I not invisible?

Uh, no. Why not?!

Let's see now, uh, ,

...

! ! !

You shut up!

--

, !

Will you let him count his tickets?

What? I'm just-- I'm just teaching him.

Now go ahead, Meatwad.

Thank you, Frylock. I appreciate that.

Now, ...

...

Um...

Is it ?

Damn it, Meatwad! !

You have harvest time tickets, ok?!

But how am I ever going to win that ten-speed?

How are you ever going to ride a ten-speed

with no friggin' legs?

You're just going to bust the ass

that you don't even have.

Who bothered to spawn you and why, you know?

You know what I'm saying?

No.

Meatwad,

maybe you ought to save your money

instead of blowing it all

on harvest time.

But I'm addicted to it!

Life is not about winning material goods.

No, it's about taking material goods

when others aren't looking.

That's right.

Hey, guys!

Good to see you! How long has it been?

Err, you've grown on me.

The damn I have!

I thought I told you never to come back here again.

The fry man is not excited to see us.

Well, that's a mistake.

Come on, meat man.

Let's go break the law

to fill your primitive needs.

I don't think so.

Last time you were here,

you threw me at an old lady's mailbox

and you made me moon boy scout troop .

Ha ha ha! We did.

Well...

This time, we won't.

Ok, cool. Let me just go get my keys.

You're not taking him with you.

Hey, you all have any eggs?

I don't know, guys. Let me check.

'Cause I'm totally going to mess someone's house up!

Yes, eggs or pot--

either one.

Hey, Frylock, do we have any pot?

No, we don't. Marijuana is illegal.

What about nitrous, man?

Shut up, err.

Fry man, we're full of religion now.

Everyone, please, bow your heads

and pretend to be serious.

Do it or I'll bow 'em for you!

You have deeply offended us and our god,

and our god is a god of vengeance and horror.

And action!

Our god is an Indian that turns into a wolf.

Man, that's wolfen, man.

Well, the--the wolfen

will come for you with his razor.

Hey, you guys, did you say

that it would be easy to get whatever I want?

Like a ten-speed?

Because that's what I really want.

Getting it is easy.

Filling it with illegal substances

and sending it across the border is not.

Yeah, see, those dogs-- they can smell anything,

so you got to kick 'em in the throat!

Hey, now, guys, look,

I do not want to do anything illegal here,

but I would k*ll somebody

in front of their own mama to get a ten-speed.

And if anybody testifies against me,

I'll gouge their eyes out.

Let's go get drunk and rip off a ten-speed.

Yeah, and we'll get a basket and a horn on the handle.

Yeah, and then we'll set it on fire

and wreck it into children and laugh at their parents

and then we'll get them to--oh, man, I'm toasted.

The innocents shall suffer big-time.

Come on. Let's go while I'm feelin' it.

See, the object of the game

is to get this machine somehow to spit out tickets.

Now, I really haven't figured out

how that works yet,

and I don't know what these wooden balls are for.

I mean, I've been eating them.

Hey, look at that!

Tickets are coming out!

That's why I'm doing it.

Yes! Check it out!

I thought we were getting me a ten-speed!

We forgot all about your needs.

We were too busy fulfilling our own.

You both are stupid.

Oh, yeah? Well, your face is stupid.

Oh, good one.

You really got me.

"The wearer of this belt shall possess

"all the superpowers

of seventies supergroup foreigner."

Fire it up!

You bet I will.

Commence testing immediately.

Well, where are y'all going?

Quit asking questions!

H-h-hey, guys!

What are you doing in my house

without my permission?

We're here to take your p*rn

and s*domize our vast imaginations.

So give us the damn magazines!

Oh, I'll give you a magazine there, buddy!

Hey, it's full of hollow points!

You're going to love it when I put those in a g*n

and then put them in your brain.

Don't try to stop us, fat man.

We are in control, Carl. There's nothing you can do.

You are powerless.

We have the foreigner belt.

Wait a second.

Is that from the ' tour? Yeah!

I saw those guys

in the meadowlands with Bryan Adams!

That was a kick-ass show!

I totally copped this feel off this passed-out broad

while they were playing urgent.

Every time I hear urgent on the radio,

I think of that girl's boobs and covered in vomit.

You like the belt, huh?

What do you think? Hell, yeah, I like that belt!

Well, how will you like the belt

when you're... Cold as ice?

Classic. Total classic.

Oh! Oh, my god! My throat! It's stiffening!

Ha ha! It works!

Err, get as much p*rn as you can carry

and grab the other end of this dresser.

Hurry, before he thaws.

Man, you got to check this out.

Oh, yeah, baby.

That's a neat car she's washing.

You think that's a straight ?

I think I have a straight . Ha ha ha!

Ooh!

Err, your sexual innuendo is priceless.

This p*rn is infinitely excellent.

This dresser, however, is very boring.

Yeah, get rid of it!

Torch the dresser, Meatwad.

But this is where Carl keeps his clothes.

Look, these women don't have any clothes

and they're not complaining.

Yeah, man, they're kissing each other.

And you want Carl to be forever kissed, don't you?

Well, I guess so, but--

then you will torch the dresser,

because you're a... Dirty white boy.

Hell, yeah, I'm a dirty white boy!

I'm a lean, mean, ground beef machine!

Here comes the flame, boys!

Yes!

Oh, look what you just did.

That was bad.

You're in trouble.

Oh, no!

Oh, wait, man. Hold on. Julie!

Barry's wife.

We just came from Christmas caroling

out in the woods.

Oh, yeah. I heard about

the woods on the news.

Someone b*rned them down!

Did they, really?

All the little birds and squirrels got b*rned up--

I mean, I hate nature!

Now you give me a beer and a woman.

I'll give that waterbed a workout.

Meatwad! Goodness!

Easy, k*ller.

What is this, prison camp?

I mean, come on. Can no one have fun here?

Yeah, Frylock. We was just reading.

This is p*rn!

Uh-oh.

Where on earth

did you get this, Meatwad?

Yeah, where? I got to confiscate this.

Give it all to me.

I need to learn how to read, back here.

Your neighbor Carl was gracious enough

to let us rip him off

and burn his furniture for no reason.

Now what are you

going to do about it?

Yeah, man. What are you going to do about it?

I'm about to show you, little man, right now.

Oh, good, 'cause I'd love to see it.

Fry man, fill your eyes...

With double vision.

My eyes!

Yeah, touch the skies.

Those aren't the words, err.

I can't see straight! What have you done to me?

You're a jukebox hero.

You've got stars in your eyes.

Yeah? I'll show you stars!

Take this!

Ha ha ha! Good sh*t, buddy!

Wait! What I'm doing in here is private!

Damn it! Shake,

put that girlie book down

and get your ass out here and help me!

Come on, dirty white boy...

Instruccionados!

And bring your urine.

You're not going to get away with this!

Try and get me.

Ow! My nose!

Oh, no!

Frylock, you have a problem.

You're a drunk.

Shake, this ain't no game!

We need to get that belt so I can disable it!

What belt?

Ignignokt! Buddy!

Hey!

There you are, buddy! Hey, what's up?

Hey, you know, Frylock says

you got this magic belt that grants wishes.

Yes, cup.

You know, those magazines you guys brought over

really made me start thinking, like...

Could you bring me some girls?

Then it shall be so.

Are you ready to work for the weekend?

'Cause I'm going to turn you loose

tohot girls in love!

Did it do it?

Yeah, that was it.

Just, um, are you sure?

Yeah.

I think I'm feeling it.

Oh, yes, I'm feeling it. Whoa! Ok.

Where do I stand?

Out in the middle of the street,

and be sure to close your eyes tight.

That's the only way

the babes can see you.

Yes!

Whoa!

Thank god I left this on "Jamaican."

All right.

Now, come on, hot girls!

You know you're in love!

Man, how come it ain't workin' on him?

Because those are loverboy songs, err.

Isn't that right, meat man?

What are you doing to me?

And loverboy has always sucked.

Oh, no, they don't!

I saw them in ' at Madison square

and they kicked ass!

Carl, you're striped with radiation.

♪ Domo arigato-- ♪

Shut up about that

and you give me that belt!

Well, come and get it if you think you're man enough--

hey, man! He took my belt!

Try using the belt without this--

the instructions.

Just try!

I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!

♪ you're hot-blooded ♪

♪ go ahead and check it and see ♪

Try as you may, Carl,

but you cannot heat up

our moon juices.

Hey, man, I'm getting kind of hot.

Well, I'm not, err.

Oh, wait. Yes, I am.

Ship, come in. Air conditioner, turn on.

You better run!

You better leave, large,

'cause I'm done breathing this water!

Relax, Carl.

I've got them both right here.

Now you tell me where that belt is!

Fry man, those are my friggin' azalea bushes there.

This is an unbearable strain,

but I'm doing it as hard as I've ever done it before.

This belt's pretty bad-ass.

Almost makes me want to squeeze into

my bad-ass red jeans.

Hey, Carl,

does that belt reverse the spells?

Yes, it does.

You're not Carl. No, I'm not.

Hang on there, fry man.

I got a button here somewheres.

Oh, what is this?!

Who set this on head games?

It's ok, Carl.

Ooowhee!

Maybe it's not ok,

but with computers nowadays, I mean,

you don't even have to leave the house.

Come on, hot girls.

Oh, god, no!

♪ Check it out, y'all, check it-check it out ♪

♪ check it out, y'all check it-check it out ♪

♪ hear that, mooninites, and you know that we're back ♪

♪ everybody else in the house know that they whack ♪

♪ : in the morn, I'm looking for the p*rn ♪

♪ know that we freeze, so get on your knees ♪