01x14 - Interfection

[bunniefuu]

Gentlemen, turn it on!

Uh, ok.

Turn it off! Turn it off...

Plaque is a figment of the liberal media

and the dental industry to scare you

into buying useless appliances and pastes.

I've read the arguments on both sides,

and I haven't found any evidence yet

to support the need to brush your teeth.

Ever.

You know you ain't got no teeth.

I got rid of my teeth at a young age because...

I'm straight. Teeth are for gay people.

That's w-why fairies come and get 'em.

Well, if teeth make me gay, then sign me up,

'cause I wish I had 'em.

You doubt me? Yeah.

Well, let's compute it, and I will solve the answer...

To your face!

Come on. To the crime lab!

Frylock says this ain't the crime lab,

and this is his room,

and he don't like us in it.

Will you hush?!

You want to damage the search engine?

Computer, search for "teeth"

and "plaque conspiracy."

And metallica.

And Justin Timberlake.

Do Justin Timberlake.

J-u-s-- please hush up.

The search needs complete silence

to work.

Oh, sh**t. I forgot. I'm sorry.

Well, I'm sorry, but if you can't learn

that little lesson,

then someone's gonna get their little mouth

stabbed shut with skewers,

and then we'll see how easily

the a* slices through the meat!

Ooh...

All right. Ok.

Maybe that was a little huge.

Listen, I would never hit you with an a*...

When you had skewers stabbed

through your mouth. I would figure

one or the other would be enough.

Well, hey, look at that.

Are you over ?

Yes. Click "yes" for yes.

Well, all right! Free money!

You ain't even got to leave the house.

Please move away. Pl--

will you just-- that is mine.

I asked somebody to send that to me, please!

All right! . % over a.P.R.

You don't get that every day.

Are you kidding? With a.P.R. Like that,

I could just die!

Click on it. Click it!

Oh, my god! Ooh, I know!

"Win real money." Ohh!

Click on that. Now, give me on black.

We got on red. You're going to negate me!

No, don't do it!

What, credit card?

How are we gonna get one of them?

Get out of my way! You don't need one!

Whoa! Damn!

You need to watch what you agree to,

'cause that one almost took my head off.

Really? Well, how about these ones, huh?

Is your head still on, bucko?

Whoops.

Frylock is not gonna like this.

Yeah, let's, uh--

let's drag these out to the yard.

I need fresh air

so I can rake in the Jack.

That's what i'm gonna be

rolling in, boy--Jack!

Damn it, they ain't movin'.

Well, you better take some vitamins

and try harder!

Well, you brought this in. You try.

Hello! I'm home!

Uh-oh. Let's get

out of here. But you stay

and lock the door. You did this!

Oh, there you are. What are y'all doing?

I'm doing this, all right? You got a problem with that?

Yeah.

That's what we're doing.

Why is my door locked?

I don't know. We've never been back there.

That's a room?

Hey, when did you start living here?

Hey, we're roomies!

What was that?

Go! Hurry!

What the-- get off me, Shake!

Oh, god. I'm sorry.

Jeez, that was incredibly rude.

What are you doing?

Stretching.

Oh, yeah, I can see that, Meatwad. For what?

- Olympics?
- No!

The good--uh, the goodwill games.

Oh, yeah? What event?

The, uh...

What event, Shake?

He's not trying out for the Olympics.

He's trying to hide something back there.

You shut up! You made me do it!

What the hell is this?

It's the ticket to our dream home!

Act now! Do it!

You've been messing around

with my computer, haven't you?

Shake said it was a crime lab.

I'm sorry! I didn't realize that I was

in the supreme frickin' court here!

Neither did I.

Should I have my lawyer present

for my frickin' trial?!

Yeah!

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, no. What?!

Remember we talked about this--

how the hell did this happen?

Look, I was just cleaning,

and I just came in here

because I heard some noises,

and I was thinking of you...

And there he was.

That is a load of bull!

I can't even reach the keyboard!

Look at me!

Ah! A web of lies!

Is that why your name

is on all these windows, Shake?

What windows?

All of them.

Whoa! That offer won't last long.

Hurry! I can feel it closing.

Oh, yeah, we're gonna be closing 'em...Right now.

No! My opportunities!

Damn it! They're not closing.

I'm going to have to make them smaller.

You don't touch 'em!

I worked very hard to get these.

You're just jealous

'cause I'm the one they're looking for.

Look at this. Damn it.

Wait. Go back one, please.

They all say the same damn thing, Shake.

But I like that color.

Help!

Meatwad, where are you?

I don't know. I'm on some beach,

pinned up against some naked girls.

Where's that at? Where's that one at, please?

Something something... "In your jeans."

I can't read it!

The women are suffocating me!

Hold on! I'll save you!

Hang on a minute, Meatwad.

Damn it! I got the phone line,

and they're still coming.

Listen to me, Meatwad.

Can you reach the power cord?

Listen to me, Meatwad.

Is it "hot girl-on-girl action"?

I'm pretty sure they're girls,

but this one looks kind of...Strong.

How are you doing? Ok.

Listen. Just keep talking to me, ok,

so I can follow your voice

and find the action,

and those perpetrators will pay!

I will...

Redden their buttocks.

No. Screw that, Shake.

I'm pulling the fuse.

No, don't!

Hello, Master Shake.

Hello.

Who the hell are you?

Excuse me. Let me just squeeze by you here.

Did you hear me?

I said, who the hell are you?

It is I, the wwwyzzerdd.

D-d-d-d.

Ok, well, what do you--

the wwwyzzerdd.

D-d.

Ok.

Dot-com.

What the hell do you want with us?

You know what I want, and what I want, I get...

If I can find his damn thing.

I wasn't talking to you.

Good...

'Cause I wasn't listening to you.

Can you not hear me? I said, what--

why don't you fill this out?

You could win a Porsche.

I'm not filling out no damn forms

so I can win no damn sports car.

I want to know what the hell is going on here!

So do I!

You see Fatima over here with the beard hanging off?

What the hell is going on with these chicks?

Hang on. Rebuffering.

This is live streaming,

broadbrrrain.

Broadbrain?

Yes. Broadbrain.

Congratulations.

You are automatically signed up

to receive e-mails about--

yeah, yeah, I know.

Your special is especially annoying,

and I'm coming in there right now to unsubscribe.

Enter the Internet.

All right, first off, wizard,

I want you to shut off--

it's pronounced wwwyzzerd-d.

There are zs, ds, and ws.

Get it straight.

W-W-Whatever.

I just want you to shut off all this junk

and get the hell out of my house!

It's only $ . a month. That's pennies a day.

Look, I didn't sign up for this crap.

It was my roommate's doing.

Surely this convenience entices you--

p*rn and online gaming

at hundreds of times the speed

of your normal advertising service provider.

It's so easy to use, and the surgery...

Surgery?

To implant it in the base of your skull

is so painless that it's no wonder I'm number one.

Oh, look, look. There's been

a misunderstanding. Now I know for sure

that I don't want this service.

You signed up for the -day trial.

You must have to have it for days!

And it's free? Of course.

Unlimited hours over an extremely limited

amount of time.

Here. Let me show you some live streaming web cam

of your fat neighbor enjoying my services.

Hello there-ere-ere in the net cyberville.

Hey, if you're watching this right now,

I'm running out of oxygen,

and I seriously need to get to my bathroom,

which is currently being blocked

by some stupid-ass hit-the-monkey game.

Oh, god! My fingers!

Carl! Carl!

He can't hear you, fryman.

You are not on the brainframe.

Hey, Carl. How you doin'?

What are you doing here?

Are those your fingers?

Call a doctor!

Can't you see I'm bleeding here?

Got a little question. Can you tell me

how I get the women that don't have

the zz top lumberjack look?

If I wanted to date sasquatch,

I'd call your mother. Ha ha!

Is there a telephone in here?

Carl needs an ambulance.

Telephone? Ha ha ha ha!

How primitive.

If I wanted to look at sasquatch, i'd--no!

Here, cave man.

Contact him with instant pestering.

It's only an additional $ . a month.

What part of no did you not understand?

I want to speak to your supervisor.

Ok. Hang on a second.

I'll be right back.

I'm the supervisor.

What seems to be the problem?

You're the same damn guy!

You just put on another beard and mustache.

No, I didn't.

You're going offline, Internet wizard.

But the skull implant comes in this decorative tin.

Decorate this.

Ok, ok. Fine, fine.

Fine. Don't use our service.

Get left in the digital dust.

But remember--

you could have won a Porsche.

Choose your path through cyberland.

Choose your option, fryman!

Hell, no!

Finally. Thank you.

Now, open this window

and get the hell out of my house.

Read it again, fryman.

"I need another days to decide,

but I'm pretty sure I want this"?

And after this -day trial,

you will be judged and sentenced to a lifetime

of interactive sports, news, and information.

And we will continue to draw from your account,

because banks don't care.

It's not their money.

I'm tired of sleeping

in this tree, you know.

When are we gonna go home?

more weeks. more weeks?!

Shut up and eat your squirrel meat!

Squirrel meat? Weccch.

What? I got wireless!

What?!