04x09 - The Tale of the Ghastly Grinner

[bunniefuu]

[Creaking]

[Clattering]

[Child's laughter]

Come on. What's the holdup?

Keep the flashlight still.

It's no good.
The logs are wet.

Move out of the way.

Yeah, right.
You're dreaming.

I need paper.

Hey, how about this?

Perfect.

No way.

Chill.
It's a comic book.

It's not.
It's a graphic novel.

It's firewood.

Hey, I could use this.

Thanks. Hey!

Do you ever
wonder where

they get the ideas
for these things?

Anchovy pizzas
before bed?

Gives me bad dreams.

What if
it's not made up?

What if comic books
were something more?

Like what?

Like a guidebook
to another dimension.

Whoa.

Comic books take you
into a world

of fantasy and adventure.

But is it a place that comes
from somebody's imagination

or somebody's experience?

Submitted for the approval

of the Midnight Society,

I call this story...

Betty Ann: Ethan Wood
was a comic book artist.

Well, actually,
he had dreams

of being
a comic book artist.

Pass, pass, rejected.

So far, things weren't
going so well.

Rejected.

Don't call us,
we'll call you.

Return to sender.

[Reading]

Avoid the crowd?

What are you
looking for, Cakes?

Got a big sale on dustboy.
$ apiece, for .

Fishman, reporter by day,
radioactive trout by night.

I've never heard of them.

Yeah, no one has.
Can't give them away.

I got this.

It's you.

I hear you're pretty good.

What?

Well, come on, Cakes.
Don't be shy.

Did you bring some
of your drawings?

How did you know I draw?

Word travels.
Let me see.

Come on.
I'm a professional.

I'm not very good. I've been
trashed by every publisher

on the planet.

Don't always listen to
what people say, Cakes.

A lot of those zoomers
wouldn't know talent from...

Uncas.

Pardon?

You're a little rough
around the edges, Cakes,

but you draw like one of the greats
-- Sylvester Uncas.

Who?

Ever hear
of the Ghastly Grinner?

Uh, no.

A villain so hideous,

that his mere laugh
could reduce his victims

to giggling idiots.

Issue one, volume one...

Drawn by Sylvester Uncas.

He was a genius, but didn't
have the guts for the Grinner.

It was so frightening,
he only drew one issue,

and then he disappeared.

This is
the only copy left...

And it's all yours.

Oh, I can't afford this.

Grand opening special--
it's on the house.

You're kidding.
Thanks.

Don't thank me, Cakes.

Thank Sylvester Uncas...

Wherever he is.

[Beeping]

Microwaves. Who can
tell me how they work?

Of course you know,
Miss Picalero.

Let's give someone
else a try, shall we?

Come now, surely those
sugar-glazed brains

are able to generate
a thought or .

How about you,
Mr. Wood?

Priorities, Mr. Wood.

We have only so much room
in our minds.

We mustn't seek
to fill it with tripe.

You can't.
It's one of a kind.

Correction.
It's none of a kind.

Microwaves work by
exciting the molecules

of the target object,

stimulating them
to a higher state...

Man: Got a call from
school today, Ethan.

They said you were causing
trouble in class again.

Well, Mr. Wrightson hates me.

He doesn't hate you.

He doesn't want you wasting
your time on comic books.

This is the end, son. We
get one more call like that,

and there'll be no more
comic books for you.

What?

It's for your own good,
honey.

Those silly comic books
are an addiction.

[Laughing]

[Beeping]

[Telephone rings]

Ethan, telephone.

Take a message, Mom.

It's a girl.

I'll take it downstairs.

Hello?

It's Hooper Picalero.

Who?

Hooper Picalero.
I sit across from you

in Mr. Wrightson's
science class.

You know, glasses,
sweater, braces?

I guess I'm a nerd.

Oh, right. I mean,
you're not a nerd.

That's OK.
I think a person

should know what they
are and work with it.

John, I'm making
pizza waffles.

You want one?

Did you want something?

I just want to say

that what Mr. Wrightson did to
you in class was really creepy.

John?

Well, that's nice
of you to say.

[Beeping]

I mean it. I think you're
a really great artist...

[Beeping]

[expl*si*n]

Oh, gee.

Did your house
just explode?

[Coughing]

Dad? Mom?

Mom? Dad?

Mom: I'm right here,
honey.

Are you all right?

Of course.
Everything is fine.

Fine?

Mom...

The kitchen
just blew up.

Whoa.

Maybe you should
open the door

to get rid of this.

Oops.

Too late.

[Laughing]

Dad.

Dad, something's
happened to Mom.

Heard any good jokes
lately, Ethan?

[Laughing]

Dad: Heard any good
jokes lately, Ethan?

What?

[Cries out]

It's only me,
Hooper Picalero.

I sit across from you
in science class.

Get down.

What are you doing here?

I heard the expl*si*n
over the phone.

What's going on?

I don't know how, but I think I
just brought this guy to life.

Ghastly Grinder?

Grinner. He feeds off
people's emotions

and drains them till they're
nothing but laughing idiots.

I think he got my parents.

We should tell somebody
-- my parents.

Mom...

Betty, Bill. Gosh,
it's good to see you.

Hi, come on in
and meet Uncle Bob.

I don't have much
of a sense of humor, Ethan.

Yeah? I don't have
an Uncle Bob.

[Laughter]

Wait,
where are we going?

To the comic book shop.

Maybe that lady knows
how to stop the Grinner.

OK, but I have
to be home by : .

There's gotta be a
clue in here somewhere.

Something
that tells us

how to send
the Grinner back.

Oh, my gosh, your parents--
my parents.

Us.

Ethan?

[Laughing]

[Crying out]

Help!

Hold on.

[Thud]

Why is this happening?

It's not real.
It's just a comic book.

Not if you believe
in the uncasian theory.

Sylvester Uncas
always said

he wasn't
just drawing comics.

He was creating guidebooks to other worlds
-- real worlds.

He sounds
like a nut case.

That's what everyone thought,

until he drew
the Ghastly Grinner.

Uncas stumbled onto something
far too evil to be toyed with,

and he wanted to put a stop
to it before it was too late.

This was to be
the final issue.

The death
of the Ghastly Grinner.

It's not done.

Before he could finish,
the Grinner got him.

He hasn't been seen since.

And now, you've brought
the Grinner into this world,

where he can have all the fresh
victims he could possibly want.

How do you know all this?

Sylvester Uncas
was my father.

That's why I sent you
the invitation, Cakes.

That's why
I gave you the comic.

You've got the touch.

I want you
to finish his work

and bring my father back.

How?

I'm not--

Microwaves.

Both: What?

That's how you brought him
through in the first place, right?

And that's how Uncas
wanted to end it.

Yeah, right. Where am I
going to find

a microwave oven
that big?

Not an oven.
Mr. Wrightson has--

No, the only way
to stop the...

[Splash]

[Laughing]

What's the matter, kids?
Can't take a joke?

[Screaming]

[Gasp]

It's only me,
Hooper Picalero.

I sit
across from you--

Yeah, I know.

You sit across from me in Mr.
Wrightson's science class.

So, think this will work?

As long
as the Parabolas

sustain the initial
microwave intensity

and the focal region
is sufficiently agitated...

Um... yeah.

Listen, Hooper.

It might get dangerous.
You don't have to stay.

What about you?

I started this thing,
I got to finish it.

Then I'm staying too.

I hope there's an explanation
for this.

Um...

Not one that you'd buy.

This is no laughing matter,
young man.

The microwaves.

It's not working.

I don't understand.

[Laughing]

Now, who needs
a good laugh, hmm?

How can I ever repay you
for bringing me through?

Oh, I know. I'll leave you
with a smile.

No!

What are we doing
back here?

What? Oh, sorry.

Why are we here?

Uncas' daughter tried to tell
us how to b*at the Grinner.

We just didn't get it.

I hope this is better
than your microwave idea.

Microwaves are the answer.

We just weren't
using them right.

There's only one way
to b*at him--

you've got to finish
the drawings.

That's what she
wanted you to do.

I can't do that.

Why not?

I'm not good enough.

Yes, you are.

I believe in you, Ethan.

She believed in you.

But if you don't
believe in yourself,

we're doomed.

How much longer?

I'm almost finished.

It sure is quiet out there.

I wonder where he is.

[Laughing]

Know what happened to the
last guy who tried to stop me?

Let's just say that his
subscription was canceled.

What's the matter, kid?
You don't like to laugh?

Sorry. I don't have
much of a sense of humor.

Hey, smiley.

Who's laughing now?

[Laughter]

Ethan?

Ethan?

Ethan: Hooper!

Ethan: Stay with me,
we're getting out.

I'm with you, kid.
Let's go.

Come back here.

You can't escape.

Ethan: Microwaves
didn't work in my world,

but they will in yours.

[Laughter]

Grinner: Microwaves, no!

You did it, Cakes.

The joke's over.

Now, how do I get
out of here?

I thought you knew.

[Laughing]

Ethan!

Hooper!

[Laughing]

No!

[Gasp]

Wow.

Ethan!

Hooper, you're laughing.

I...I guess I'm glad
you're not dead.

So am I.

Ethan, Hooper...

I want you to meet
my father,

Sylvester Uncas.

Wow.

I knew you could do it,
Ethan.

I believe these belong to you.

We always encouraged Ethan's
talent, didn't we, dear?

Oh, we knew from
the very beginning

that he was going
to be a star.

Yeah, we did.

Betty Ann: Sylvester Uncas
never drew a comic again.

He had enough excitement
for one lifetime.

As for Ethan, well...

You might say he finally
made it into the comics.

Continued next issue.

That was really uh...

Ghastly.

I declare this meeting

of the Midnight
Society closed.

Thanks for letting
me borrow...

That was
an awesome story.