-What are you doing, dear?
-Looking for something.
There is this swell magician on
TV, and you know what he did?
-No.
What did he do?
-He took a pair of sunglasses
and wrapped them up
in a handkerchief and beat
them flat with a hammer.
-Oh, my goodness!
-And when he opened
the handkerchief,
they weren't even broken.
-Isn't that amazing?
-I'm going to go show
Tommy how he did it.
I'll give your sunglasses back
when the trick's over, Mom!
-Dennis!
De-- Dennis, you come back here!
[theme music]
-Gee, you have?
A real goat, Mickey?
-Oh, sure!
I got all kinds of pets, Dennis.
-You sure are lucky.
My folks said I could have a pet
someday, if he's a little pet.
-I'll sell you one of my snakes.
They're little.
-I don't think my mom
would let me have a snake.
I took one in to
show her last year,
she dropped a lemon
pie on her foot.
-Hey, I know what you can have.
Come on down to my house.
I've got just the pet for you.
-Hi, Clarence.
-Mickey Haskell gave him to me.
Isn't he a swell pet?
-Yeah.
Do you think your folks
will let you keep him?
-I'm sure they will, I think.
My mom said I could
have a hamster some day.
-Let me get a
better look at him.
-OK.
-I didn't know a hamster
looked like that.
-I didn't either.
But Mickey got him
from some other kid.
And the other kid
said he was a hamster.
So that's what he is, all right.
-Sure has big teeth, hasn't he?
What does he it?
-Mickey says he eats
weeds and roots and stuff.
-We got some swell weeds in
our yard, if you need any.
-Heck, no, Tommy.
We got the tallest weeds
in town back of our garage.
My mom said so.
-I sure hope you can keep him.
-When I get home, I'll leave him
out in the yard, while I go in
and ask her.
Mom gets kind of nervous
when I surprise her.
-Isn't he swell?
-Yeah.
Hey, Mom, I'm home!
-Dennis, don't slam--
-How's the best mom in the
whole world feeling today?
-The best mom in
the whole world is
feeling a little
suspicious at the moment.
Why do you ask?
-Well, I was just thinking.
And I remember that
you said someday
I could have a pet, right?
-(STAMMERS) Well,
yes, ss-- someday.
-But we'll have to find
the right kind of pet, son.
-Mickey Haskell's got a swell
goat, with a beard down to here
and horns up to here.
-No, Dennis, no goats.
-Of course, not.
-Oh, I don't want a goat.
Goats are too big.
I just like to have some
kind of little-bitty pet
that wouldn't be any
trouble to anybody.
-That's the only kind.
-Like a little hamster, maybe?
-Well, we talked about
that once before.
You know, a hamster
might be just the thing.
-Well, as long as
we don't get a pair.
That's about too many.
Well, I guess, one
hamster ought to be OK.
-Oh, boy!
I knew you'd let me keep him.
His name is Clarence.
And he's awful smart.
He's outside in a cage.
And that's what Mickey said
he is, all right-- a hamster!
Come on!
Come on!
-Huh?
-I left his cage
out here in the yard
because Mom doesn't like
animals in the house sometimes.
-What a shrewd move.
-Uh.
-You'll be crazy about him,
Mom, because-- Dad, look,
my hamster's gone.
Somebody kidnapped him.
-Honey--
-Here's how he got out, son.
He just chewed a hole
right through the cage.
-Oh, that's a shame.
-Gee, I told him I'd
only be a minute.
-But don't worry
about it, honey.
He'll probably come right back.
-That's right, son.
We'll leave the cage outside
here and put some food in it.
When he gets hungry--
-I'll go look for him all over.
I just got to find him.
Hey, maybe he's in the backyard.
Here, Clarence!
Here, Clarence!
-Hello, Alice, Mitchell.
Just stopped to remind you not
to forget our fishing trip.
-Huh, forget it?
I can't think of anything else.
I've arranged to
take Friday off.
-Oh, fine.
-Oh, it'll do you both good
to get away for a few days.
-Oh, I can hardly wait, Alice.
-If you see Clarence any place,
Mr. Wilson, call me right away,
will you?
-If I see, who?
-Oh, we've had a minor tragedy.
-Dennis brought
home a pet hamster.
And the little fellow
got away somehow.
-Oh, that's too bad.
Well, I better be running along.
Mrs. Wilson's waiting
for me at the drugstore.
I'll see you later.
-I never would have
thought a hamster could
chew a hole like
this, would you?
-Well, come to think of it, no.
-Look at those sticks.
It's just like they were
cut with a hand axe.
Dennis?
Dennis, come here a minute.
-Did you find him yet, Dad?
-Not yet, son.
Tell me, uh, what kind of teeth
did this pet of yours have?
I-- I mean were they big?
-Yeah.
He's got swell teeth, Dad.
Two of them right in front.
Boy, do they look sharp.
-Ahem, uh-oh.
I tell you what, son.
Let's you and I go in and
look at our animal book.
Maybe you can show me a
picture of his, uh, hamster?
-OK, Dad.
-My, the yard is pretty, George.
I'm so proud of it.
-Yes, I think I've done
pretty well with it, Martha,
in spite of everything.
-It's hard work.
-Oh, I guess I battled of
every type of garden pest known
to man-- aphids, corn
borers, Dennis, cutworms,
plant lice, Dennis.
-Poor little Dennis, you're
pretty hard on him, George.
-Oh, I guess I am at
that sometimes, Martha.
He is a well-meaning
little fellow, I think.
-I'll take these in the house.
-All right, dear.
Aah.
No!
Gophers!
Martha!
Martha!
-What is it, George?
What's the matter?
-Martha, do you know what
I've got in this yard?
A gopher!
-Oh, no.
They're so destructive.
-Awful!
Why, one gopher could ruin
this entire yard in a week,
if I let him.
-Oh, dear.
-He just swallowed a
delphinium this long,
just like a strand of spaghetti!
Look, there's his hole.
-I hope you catch him.
-You bet I'll catch him.
I'll get that little
vandal out of there
if I have to tunnel him out
through with my bare hands!
-What are you doing Mr. Wilson?
Saying your prayers?
-Of course not.
But I may need prayer
before I'm through.
-Mr. Wilson, I'm afraid we
have some rather bad news.
-You've got bad news?
Wait till you hear mine.
I've got a gopher in my yard!
-Oh, dear, already.
-Where is he, Mr. Wilson?
That's Clarence!
That's my little hamster.
He's a gopher.
-What?
-The more we heard
about him, the less
he sounded like a hamster.
-Uh, Dennis picked
out his picture.
This.
-That's a good picture
of him, Mrs. Wilson.
He sure got pretty
teeth, hasn't he?
-Never mind, Dennis.
-Mitchell, there hasn't been
a gopher in this end of town
for years.
Nobody has gophers
in their yard.
Why does he pick on me?
-I'm terribly sorry,
Mr. Wilson, but Dennis
thought it was a hamster.
-You see, he got it
from some little boy
on the other side of town.
-Great Scott!
Now, Dennis is going
clear across town
to find trouble for me.
-Gophers are not pets, Tommy.
-They're not?
Gee, they sure look like pets.
-No, sir.
A gopher is a wild animal.
He isn't happy in a cage.
He's supposed to live
out in the woods.
My dad said so.
-And what are we
going to do about it?
-What we got to do, Tommy, is
catch old Clarence right away.
Because Dad says the
minute they get him out
of Mr. Wilson's flowers, he'll
take me down to the pet store
and buy me a hamster.
A real one!
-Oh, boy!
You think we can catch him?
-Heck, yes!
I know a way to
build a dandy trap.
Come on to our garage!
-We'll get him, Mr. Wilson.
The minute he sticks
his nose in this trap--
-What?
Oh, I won't sleep
a wink tonight.
-Oh, George, you do need
that trip to the lake.
I wish you boys could
leave right now.
-Now?
Huh!
We won't even be able
to leave Thursday
if we haven't trapped
this gopher by then.
Why, I wouldn't
enjoy a minute of it!
-No, I guess you wouldn't.
-Why, I'd soon go off and
leave my house on fire
as to leave a gopher
in my flower beds.
-I-- I know what you mean.
[sighs]
Well, I'm not worried about it.
We'll have him by
tomorrow morning.
See you later, Mrs. Wilson.
-All right, Mitchell.
-Well, I'll go and
get dinner started.
-All right, dear.
-Pitch it right here, Tommy.
This is a good
place for a gopher.
-Dennis!
What are you doing?
-Oh, hi, Mr. Wilson!
-Get that thing out
of my flower bed.
What is this anyhow?
-It's our gopher trap.
-Me and Tommy are going to
catch our little gopher for you.
-Well, don't bother.
I'll catch it.
-Oh, it isn't any bother.
-No, we like to catch things.
-Well, you just catch
him somewhere else.
Not in my flower bed.
-OK.
We'll catch him
here on your lawn!
You know how this
works, Mr. Wilson?
When old Clarence
gets hungry tonight,
he'll come out and eat
this big, fat carrot.
-Sure.
And that pulls the stick
and the box falls down.
-Right.
And tomorrow, when we
look, he'll be in there.
Then my Dad will
buy me a hamster.
-Good morning, Mr. Wilson.
Any luck?
-Oh, hello, Mitchell.
No, no luck with
that one over there.
The little devil sprung it again
last night, got away clean.
-Oh, gosh.
Well, maybe that
one will be luckier.
-Look at this.
Sprung, too.
You know, that
gopher is no fool.
He's a diabolical genius.
-He certainly is.
-[sighs]
He's got, uh, an
appetite like an army
mule and a set of
teeth like a buzz saw.
Just look at these
flowers-- ruined.
-Tomorrow's Thursday.
-Gee, Tommy.
He isn't in there.
-Maybe Mrs. Elkins' old
cat scared him away.
-I don't think Clarence
is afraid of cats.
-I thought sure we'd
catch him by now.
-He's pretty smart, all right.
I bet he's just
hiding some place,
just watching us right now.
-Where do you think he's hiding?
-Well, the best place to hide
around here is under the house.
You see him now?
-No.
[thump]
-Tommy, look!
Our trap!
He's in there!
We got Clarence!
-Don't touch it!
Don't pick it up.
He might get away.
-He's in here.
Don't touch him.
I'll go get Mr. Wilson.
Mr. Wilson!
Mr. Wilson!
Come quick, Mr. Wilson!
[bangs on door]
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): We
got him, Mr. Wilson!
[bangs on door]
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Mr. Wilson!
We got him in our
trap, Mr. Wilson!
-Are you sure?
Oh, this is the best news yet.
Now, Tommy, get away.
Don't touch it!
-Mr. Wilson--
-Oh.
---that--
-I hope this isn't
a false alarm, boys.
I couldn't stand it.
-Can you see him?
He's in there, all right.
-Dennis, it's not the gopher.
It's Mrs. Elkins' old cat.
-It is?
Uh-oh.
-Oh, I see him.
I see him.
My, he's a big son of a g*n.
ELKINS (OFFSCREEN): Meow,
here, kitty-kitty, kitty-kitty,
kitty-kitty.
Here, kitty-kitty,
kitty-kitty, kit--
-I think we better go play over
at your house today, Tommy.
ELKINS (OFFSCREEN): Here,
kitty Here, kitty-kitty.
Here, Tinker Bell.
Oh, Mr. Wilson, have you seen
my kitten, little Tinker Bell?
-No, Mrs. Elkins, I haven't
seen the little Tinker at all.
-Here, kitty-kitty.
[cat meows]
-Oh, when--
-What?
Oh!
All the contemptible,
mean-- why,
I ought to have you arrested!
-What?
Why, I, uh--
-Why, everybody knows you
hate animals and children, Mr.
Wilson.
But--
But--
-I do not any--
-The--
---such thing!
---idea of trapping a poor,
defenseless little kitten.
-I didn't even set this trap.
The boys set the trap.
Dennis, will you explain--
Dennis!
Dennis?
Where did he go?
-Yes, that's right.
Blame poor little Dennis.
Well, believe me, all my
friends will hear about this!
-Fine!
Get all your friends together
and send them both over here.
Maybe they can help
me catch my gopher.
Hope she falls off her broom.
-We probably should have
done this in the first place.
-Oh, yeah.
Merrivale says this is
the only way to do it.
Flush him out with
a garden hose.
-Well, it'll be
worth the dollar we
paid to rent this silly cage if
we can get the gopher into it.
-[laughs]
-Well, I've got this
section covered.
-Ah, good.
I'll flush him
out from this end.
And when he comes out
into this cage, ha-ha!
We got him!
-This ought to get results.
-Oh, sure!
Yeah, the water
goes in this hole,
and the gopher
comes out this end.
That's all there is to it.
-He-he, he's in
trouble this time.
I-- I expect he knows it by now.
-You know, I'm going to
wait right here where
I can watch this cage
till this thing is over.
-Well, it shouldn't be long.
-Oh, sir, we've really got
him cornered this time.
I don't know why I didn't
think of this yesterday.
-Ha-ha, well, I've got
to go over to the house
and make a phone call.
Let me know when it happens.
-Oh, I'll fire off
a -g*n salute
when I catch this
gopher, Mitchell.
Don't worry.
I'll let you know.
Well, you little-- got you now.
Well, now, where the
Dickens is that water going?
I suppose the-- I wonder-- huh.
Well, now-- What, now,
where is it going?
[gushing water]
-Great Scott!
It's-- oh, ho!
Ha-ha!
I got him!
I got him!
Martha!
Martha!
Oh, she went downtown.
Mitchell!
I'll call Mitchell.
-You have?
Oh, that's great, Mr. Wilson.
He caught the gopher.
-Wonderful!
-I-- I thought it would work.
Huh?
Not in the cage?
Well, how?
-We'll open it for
you, Mrs. Wilson.
-We can open it!
-Help me, Tommy.
Clarence!
Clarence!
Clarence!
Clarence!
Clarence!
Clarence!
-And you slammed
the garage door, ha?
Ah-ha!
Great!
Congratulations.
-Does Dennis know Mr.
Wilson's caught him?
-Yeah, yeah.
I'll be over to help
you put him in the cage.
And then we'll decide
what to do with him.
And tomorrow, Lake Bailey!
-Ha-ha!
And by golly, am I ready, he-he.
I'll bet those fish
are jumping like fleas.
Why there's one
big fellow up there
that must weigh about pounds.
-Mr. Wilson!
Guess-- guess what?
-Just a minute, Mitchell.
What is it, Dennis?
-Mr. Wilson--
-Mr. Wilson?
Mr. Wilson?
Hello?
Hello!
-Oh, what's the matter?
What happened?
-I don't know.
All of a sudden, he just
went sort of incoherent.
Gave a little moan,
and the line went dead.
-Gee, Dennis.
I never did see a
grown man cry before.
-Good old Mr. Wilson.
Hey, maybe we ought to tell
him about our discovery.
That ought to cheer him up.
-Yeah, that will be a
swell surprise for him.
-Boy, just look at that.
I'll bet Mr. Wilson's got
the only house in town
with a spring
right in the patio.
-Well, I might as well
put this stuff away.
Boy, I was sure looking
forward to that trip.
-I know, honey, it's a shame.
Do you suppose we'll
ever catch that gopher?
-Frankly, I don't know.
He must have, at least,
holes in that yard by now.
And he's much too
smart for a trap.
We may have to send
for an exterminator.
-We got him, Dad!
I'm going to tell Tommy!
-What did he say?
-It sounded like, "we got him."
You don't suppose--
-Dennis?
Dennis!
He's gone.
Let's go over to Wilson's.
-Well, there he is, Martha.
Ha!
At last. [chuckles]
-My, he's little, George.
I thought he'd be--
-The battle is over, huh?
-Oh, yes.
I just caught him a little
while ago, Mitchell.
Ho-ho-ho!
He was a tricky little
devil, but I outsmarted him.
-I thought you found him in
that trap the boys built.
The one with the box, and--
-Ooh, uh, well, I did.
But, uh, well, why was
he in the boy's trap?
Because I flooded all his
other tunnels so completely,
he couldn't go anywhere
else, that's why.
-That's out-thinking him.
-Ho-ho.
When you pit a wild
animal-- cunning
as he is-- against the brain
of civilized man, Mitchell,
there can only be one outcome.
-Yes, water in the basement.
-I had no idea they were such
interesting little creatures,
Mrs. Wilson.
-Yes, look at him, Alice.
Isn't he cute?
-He's cute.
He's dandy.
-Cute?
Do you realize
that little vermin
has eaten $ worth
of my flowers?
---in three days!
-Look at him, George, look!
I think he's smiling at you.
-Oh, Martha.
Wild animals can't smile.
You know that.
-Well, it looked like a smile.
-Probably, a touch
of indigestion.
-Huh!
He certainly earned it.
Ate enough of my dahlia bulbs
to give a heartburn to a horse.
-He won't be eating any more.
By the way, there
was something I
wanted to talk to you
about, Mr. Wilson.
-All right, what
is it, Mitchell?
-Well, ahem, after we
dispose of the gopher,
how about you and
I going up to Lake
Bailey for this evening
for a little fishing?
-Oh, ha-ha!
-Hi, everybody!
See, Tommy, that's
Clarence, see?
-Hi, Clarence.
-Well, no, not too close, boys.
Get away from the cage.
-You know where you're
going, Clarence?
You're going for a long ride
out in the country where
you have the whole big
woods to live in out there.
-That's what I told
Dennis we'd do with him.
Take him out in the country
some place and turn him loose.
-Well, fair enough.
Good idea, Mitchell.
I'll go get my coat and
ride out with you right now.
-Oh, you and Mr. Wilson
don't have to bother, Dad.
Tommy and I have
got it all fixed.
-What do you mean "all fixed"?
-There's this great,
big truck parked
across the street at
the park from our house.
-And the driver is
eating his lunch.
He'll be leaving
in a few minutes.
-And he's going to take
Clarence and let him out way out
in the country for us.
Isn't that swell?
-That sounds like a solution
to everything, George.
-Why, yes.
Come on, Mitchell.
Lets go talk to the man, ha?
-The sooner this is over,
the happier I'll be.
-We'll all be.
-Especially me.
And you know when
I'll be happier, Mom?
When I get my very own hamster.
-Dennis, first thing
in the morning,
you and I go out and
buy one-- cage and all.
-Oh, boy!
-[laughs]
-Hey, Dad!
Wait a minute!
I didn't tell Clarence goodbye!
-[both laugh]
-(SINGING) Param-param,
teedee, param, tadah.
Oh, just leave all that
stuff on the curb, Mitchell.
I'll pack it.
Oh boy, I feel wonderful.
-We ought to sleep good tonight.
That great mountain air!
-He-he.
-Oho, Dennis.
-Boy, it sure is
dark with that hat.
-Here's the food
to eat on the way.
-Wonderful!
-Fried chicken and coconut cake
with potato salad, Mrs. Wilson?
-Why, yes.
How did you know?
-That's what Mom
cooked for them.
She said she just bet you
wouldn't cook the same thing,
too.
-Oh, ha-ha-ha.
Don't you worry.
We'll eat it all.
-You bet.
Ha-ha.
-Well, I think this is
just about everything.
[car horn honks]
MICKEY (OFFSCREEN): Hey, Dennis!
Come here, will you?
-Would you look
at all this stuff
they're taking
for only two days?
-It looks like an
African safari.
-Well, we like to
be comfortable.
When Mitchell and I rough it,
we rough it in style, don't we?
-Give that here.
Let me help you.
-Hey, Dad, guess what?
Mickey Haskell was down
at the service station.
And this big truck
stopped for gas.
And Mickey saw my little
gopher on the front seat.
-Oh, good.
Then he'll be all right.
-Yeah.
And Mickey brought
him back to me
because he thought I wanted it.
Look!
So you and Mr. Wilson can take
him to Lake Bailey with you
and leave him there.
-Yeah, I guess that's
the best thing.
We'll take him along and
leave him at Lake Bailey.
-What?
-Leave who at Lake Bailey?
-He's back, the gopher.
-What?
The gopher?
Where?
-Oh!
[clangs]
-Oh, no!
Great Scott!
[theme music]
02x04 - Dennis and the Ham-pher
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Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.