02x37 - Father's Day for Mr. Wilson

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Dennis the Menace". Aired: October 4, 1959 – July 7, 1963.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
Post Reply

02x37 - Father's Day for Mr. Wilson

Post by bunniefuu »

-I'm sure glad it's
Father's Day, dad.

It's always a swell day.

-It's one of the best, son.

-I'm gonna stay real
close to you all day long.

-And that's just
where I want you.

-Well, wait a minute.

-Where are you going dear?

-To get Sam, my Frog.

I'm sorta his Father, so
today he ought to be with me.

-When we got married,
I'll bet you never dreamed

that in years we'd be
the grandparents of a frog.

[theme music]

-More coffee, Mrs. Wilson?

-No thank you, Alice.

Henry, I know you must
have had a wonderful day.

-It was the best Father's
Day I've ever had.

-From the time we
got up this morning,

Dennis hasn't left his
father's side for one minute.

-He even came into the
bathroom and gave me a hug

while I was shaving.

-Well, you're a lucky man to
get so much affection, Mitchell.

-And you should've seen
the swell dinner we had.

All his favorite stuff to eat.

-Oh, what did you have?

-Hot dogs and three
kinds of ice cream.

-That's your favorite food?

-Well, only on Father's Day.

-Fortunately, Dennis happens
to like the same things.

-That does work out well.

-Well, it's easy to see
Mitchell, you enjoyed yourself.

-I certainly did.

As a matter of fact, I
enjoyed myself so much,

I've decided to take tomorrow
off and rest up a bit.

-You know, I wish I could
look forward to a pleasant day

tomorrow.

I'm afraid mine may
be rather unpleasant.

-Is something wrong, Mr. Wilson?

-I'm being faced with a lawsuit.

You know that
disagreeable old follow

who lives over on Maple Street?

Old Man Hatch.

-Well, I've seen him but
I don't really know him.

-No one knows him.

He's-- he's such
an ornery old cuss,

he wouldn't answer you
if you spoke to him.

What's he suing you for?

-Well, he claims hat he was
over in the park yesterday,

and our little dog Fremont came
along and bit him in the leg.

-Boy, he sure did.

-Well, how do you know?

-I saw him do it.

-You actually saw
Fremont bite him?

-Yes sir.

I was playing in the
park with Fremont,

and I threw a stick near where
Old Man Hatch was sitting

on a bench, and that's
when Fremont did it.

-Oh, dear.

-Well, that does look bad.

Hatch is sending his lawyer
to talk to me tomorrow.

-I can't understand dear
little Fremont biting anyone.

-I don't think he
would've if Old Man

Hatch hadn't kicked
at him first.

-Old Man Hatch
kicked at Fremont?

-Sure.

He kicks at every dog he sees.

-Well, if Fremont did
it in self defense,

that's a point in your favor.

-Yes.

Dennis, will you tell the lawyer
tomorrow just what you saw?

It may help me.

-You bet I will Mr. Wilson.

-You're a good boy, Dennis.

George.

We better be going.

-Oh, you're right, Martha.

I believe in the
old saying, there

are two things that shouldn't
stay in the house too long.

Fish and company.

-Oh, you're never company
to us, Mr. Wilson,

we hate to see you leave.

-That's very sweet
of you, Alive.

-Great Scott, what's this?

-Oh, the present I gave
dad for Father's Day.

Isn't it swell?

-Dennis, I've seldom
seen a more handsome hat.

-Go on, dad.

Show him how good
you look in it.

-Well I--

-Yes, do model it for us, Henry.

-By golly, Mitchell,
it suits you to a T.

-I picked it out myself.

-I envy you, Mitchell.

I really do.

Means a lot to
have a fine boy who

gives you such a nice presents.

-It sure does.

-Bye.
-Bye.

-Bye bye.

Well, Mr. Wilson
certainly got a kick

out of hearing the details
of my Father's Day.

-Yes he did.

It's too bad he never
had children of his own.

-Yes, he's missed
a lot of pleasure.

And some remarkable presents.

-Well, of course, not everyone
can be as lucky as you are,

dear.

-I've got a swell idea, mom.

I know just what I'm
gonna do tomorrow.

Hi Mr. Wilson!

-Good heavens, Dennis.

What are you doing
here at this hour?

Do you realize it's barely : .

-Happy Father's Day, Mr. Wilson.

-Happy what?

-This is your
special Father's Day.

I've decided to have
one just for you.

-But why?

-Because you never
had a boy of your own,

so today, I'm going
to be your boy

and stay with you every minute,
and do all kinds of things

for you, just like I
did for dad yesterday.

Here's your present.

Dad says he wants
you to have it.

-Good heavens.

-Bend down, and I'll
put it on for ya!

Would you like some
more toast, Mr. Wilson?

Sorry, Mr. Wilson.

-Thank you, Dennis.

-If you change your
mind, just let me know.

I'm here to help you today.

-Imagine having a Father's
Day of your very own, George.

I can't get over it.

-I may not, either.

-Would you like some
more coffee, Mr. Wilson?

-No, thank you.

-If you were drinking what Dad
had for breakfast yesterday,

I bet you'd want
some more of it.

-What was he having, dear?

-Root beer.

On Father's Day,
that's his favorite!

-Where a going, George?

-To get the morning paper.

I was up so early this morning,
it hadn't been delivered yet.

-I'll get it for
you, Mr. Wilson.

-That won't be
necessary, Dennis.

-I brought Dad his
paper yesterday.

Now sit down, and
let me bring yours.

-Dennis, I'm quite capable of
picking up my own newspaper,

thank you.

Now, he usually
throws it out about--

-Here it is!

Oops.

-Dennis, now look
what you've done.

You've ruined my paper.

-Gee, I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson.

Don't worry.

I'll go over to my house and
get our newspaper for ya.

Happy Father's Day, Mr. Wilson.

-Happy, happy.

-Martha, I tell you, my
nerves won't stand it.

Now, I know Dennis'
intentions are good,

but that boy has
got to stay home.

-Now, you're not being
very fair to the boy, dear.

You're ready to
throw him out now,

but you'll want him
back later to testify

for you when the lawyer comes.

-When my mental welfare's at
stake, I-- oh, you're right,

Martha.

Oh, I won't spoil Dennis'
Father's Day for him.

He can stay right by
my side every minute.

-Even after the lawyer leaves?

-Why, of course.

You don't think I'm just being
nice because I want a favor?

Why, what sort of a
man do you take me for?

-The same kind
you've always been.

Real cute.

-Cute?

-Hi, Dad.

-Morning, Dennis.

-How soon will you be
through with the paper?

-Well, I just started, son.

Why?

-Well, today's Mr.
Wilson's Father's Day,

and I wanna take it to him.

-Wouldn't it be a better idea to
bring Mr. Wilson his own paper?

-I tried to.

But it, uh, sort of got ripped.

-I see.

Well, you can have this just
as soon as I've finished.

-Could you finish faster if
I turned the pages for you?

-Look, Dennis, this
idea of your giving

Mr. Wilson a
Father's Day is fine.

I'm all for it.

But, well, when I'm having
my coffee in the morning,

I like something to read.

It's a habit.

-Oh.

Be right back, Dad.

Here, Dad.

-What's that?
-A book.

If you want something to
read, you can read this,

and I'll take the paper
over to Mr. Wilson.

OK?
Well--

-Thanks, Dad!

-Jack and Jill went up the
hill to fetch a pail of water.

Jack fell down and
broke his crown,

and Jill came tumbling after.

-I got your
newspaper, Mr. Wilson.

Now, you sit over here
in your easy chair.

-Oh, good.

Thank you, Dennis.

-Now, you sit over here
and read your newspaper.

-Oh, all right.

-Would you like me to
bring you your slippers?

-I'm wearing them.

-Oh, yeah.

I didn't notice.

Something for ya.

Would you like me to
take off your slippers

and bring you your shoes?

-No, thank you, Dennis.

I prefer it this way.

Must you?

-Oh, sure.

This is part of Father's Day.

I sat in Dad's lap yesterday,
and he read me the funnies.

-Well, I never read the funnies.

-You don't?

-Well, occasionally I do glance
at "Little Orphan Annie."

But only because she teaches
many worthwhile lessons.

-Read it to me, huh?
-All right.

Now today, Little Orphan
Annie and her dog Sandy

are walking through
a dark forest,

and Annie says to Sandy,
jeepers, it's scary out here.

I hope we aren't lost.

Sandy says, arf!

-Boy, you'd make a
swell dog, Mr. Wilson.

Even better than Dad!

Do it again, will ya?

-Arf, arf!

Arf!

-Aren't we having a swell
Father's Day, Mr. Wilson?

-Well, yes, Dennis.

We really are.

Now--

-Henry, can you come help me in
the kitchen a minute, please?

-Sure, honey.
What's the matter?

-Oh, those darned ice
trays are stuck again.

I'm trying to defrost
the refrigerator--

-Relax.

I'll be right there.
-Thank you.

-It's nothing to it.

Is just a matter of applying
a little in the right spot,

and an ice tray's got to give.

-Oh, Henry, you are a genius.

-Well, let's just say I'm
smarter than the average ice

tray.

-Close your eyes, Mr. Wilson.

Open your mouth,
and close your eyes.

-What, Dennis?

I'm trying--

-No fair peeking.

Close your eyes.

It's not to keep.

It's Dad's pipe.

It's just to smoke today.

-Oh?

Well, that's very nice,
Dennis-- What have you

got in this thing, anyhow?

-Just tobacco and grass.

-Grass?

-Yeah.

I fell down with it
in the front yard,

but I couldn't find
all the tobacco.

You sure do like a
dad with that pipe.

Happy Father's Day, Mr. Wilson.

That sure was a good
lunch, Mrs. Wilson.

-Thank you, Dennis.

But George, you
hardly ate a thing.

-Well, I'm worried about that
confounded lawsuit, Martha.

It takes a man's appetite away.

-Oh, it may not be as
bad as you think, dear.

I don't see how
little Fremont could

have really hurt that man.

-I don't know.

He sure hollered awful loud.

-Oh, fine.

-You mustn't just
give up, George.

-Mr. Hatch has hired a lawyer.

Shouldn't you have
some legal advice?

-But Martha, lawyers
are so expensive.

Even the cheap ones.

-What about your
friend, Judge Hayworth?

Couldn't he at least advise you?

-Why, o of course!

Judge Hayworth.

Why, that's a
splendid idea, Martha.

Best legal mind in town.

And he won't charge me a nickel.

-Boy, he's really cheap.

-Hello.

Is Judge Hayworth in, please?

George Wilson calling.

Martha, I feel better already.

Hello, judge?

George.

How's every little
thing in court?

Well, I have a,
a little problem,

and I thought you
might help me with.

Well, now, this man claims
that my dog bit him.

Oh, well, yes, he did bite him.

-Boy, I'll say he did!

Wow!

-But the man started it.

He tried to kick my dog.

No, no.

The man wasn't on my property.

-It was in the park.

Tell him it was in the park.

-Come on, Dennis.

Let's not bother Mr. Wilson.

-No.

No, no, no.

It happened across the
street, in the park.

What?

No, the dog wasn't on a leash.

He-- oh, I see.

Oh, I see.

Thank you, Judge.

Bye.

-Well?

-I should have called a doctor.

-A doctor?

Why?

-According to the
judge, I'm fractured.

Oh, I'll probably have
to settle with Hatch.

-I'm sorry, dear.

Why don't you lie down over
there and have a nice nap?

-Well now, I'd love to, Martha.

But how?

How can anyone take
a nap around here?

-Oh, that's easy, Mr. Wilson.

Dad takes naps all the time.

All you have to do is
lie down on the divan,

loosen your necktie,
kick off your shoes,

and go to sleep like this.

[snoring]
-See?

It's easy!

You can do it!

-Yes, George.

Go ahead.

I have to go downtown right
away on a lot of errands.

And Dennis, you can
come along and help me.

-Oh, I'd like to help
you out, Mrs. Wilson,

but I'll be too busy doing
things for Mr. Wilson.

-Dennis, you've done enough
for me to last me all my life.

Now you run along and have fun.

Just be sure he gets back here
when that lawyer comes, Martha.

-What time is he coming?

-Well, he's going to call.

I don't know what time.

I'm going to need Dennis.

Dennis!

Oh dear.

Better let Dennis
stay here, I guess.

-Well, try and get
some rest, dear.

-All right, Martha.

Now, Dennis.

I really would like
to get some rest,

so if you want to make this
a good Father's Day for me,

you'll be very, very quiet, OK?

-I'll be real quiet.
-Good.

-I won't even talk.

-All right. [inaudible].

-(WHISPERING) I'll just whisper.

Happy Father's Day, Mr. Wilson.

-Dennis.

Don't just stand
there staring at me.

Go sit down someplace.

-OK.

-Oh great Scott.

-You sure are having a
hard time getting to sleep,

aren't you, Mr. Wilson?

-Oh yes I am.

-Would you like
me to sing to you?

You're kinda big to rock,
but I can sing to ya.

[barking]

-Oh, what's the use?

Oh, Fremont, get off the couch.
Here.

You take him, will you, Dennis?

[phone ringing]
-Yes, sir.

-Oh!

Hello?

Who?

Oh, you must be old man
Hatch's-- I mean, Mr.

Hatch's attorney.

Well, that's as good a
time as any, I suppose.

I'll be expecting you.

Good bye.

-Was that the man that Fremont
bit in the leg's lawyer?

-Yes.

Now look, Dennis, you're
my witness on this,

and I want you to tell that
lawyer exactly what happened.

Now, let's go over
it a little first.

-OK.

-Now, you're sure
that Fremont actually

did take a nip at
this man, are you?

-Did he?

You should have seen him!

I thought he was going
to tear a leg off!

Grr, he said.

Grr!

Grr!

He grabbed old man Hatch by
the leg and chomped down!

-All right, all right!

Just forget the
colorful details.

Let's just have the facts.

-Yes, sir.

-Now, you threw a
stick for Fremont,

and this man kicked at him.

Right?
-Yes, sir.

And Fremont let out a roar.

Didn't you, Fremont?

And then he went into action!

He was like a lion!

Grr, he said.

Grr!

Grr!

He bared his fangs, and
tore right in there!

-Oh, for heaven's sakes, Dennis.

Fremont's fangs are
about that long.

Here.
Look.

-Yeah, and they're
mighty sharp, too.

Ask old man Hatch.

The way he went limping
off after Fremont bit him?

-Oh, Dennis, stop that.

For heaven's sakes.

Now, look.

If, if the man hadn't
kicked at Fremont,

he wouldn't have
bitten him, would he?

-Oh, no, sir.

Fremont's a swell little dog.

He likes everybody.
-Good.

Now, that's what
I want you to tell

the lawyer when he gets here.

Understand?

-Yes, sir.

-Maybe I can talk him
out of this some way.

I hope so, because--

-Why don't you go talk
Mr. Hatch out of it?

He's the one that got bit.

-I can't.

Old man Hatch won't even
talk to me on the phone.

-Well, maybe if you
went to see him--

-Now, look, Dennis,
I have to get

some rest before that
lawyer gets here.

Now, you sit on the front
steps and watch for him, OK?

-But Mr. Wilson!
-I'll rest a while.

Good bye.

TOMMY (OFFSCREEN): Hey, Dennis!

Whatcha doing?

-Hi, Tommy!

Say, do you know where
old man Hatch lives?

-Sure.

He lives way over past my house.

Why?

-Well, I'm gonna do something
for good old Mr. Wilson.

And you can come with me.

Come on, I'll tell you
all about it on the way.

[doorbell]

-Ah, how do you do?
Mr. Wilson?

-Oh, uh, come in.

-Thank you.

You must be mister, uh--

-John McRae, attorney at law.

I'm representing Mr. Hatch.

-Oh, Well, I hope he won't be
too unreasonable about this,

because--

-Oh, I don't think so.

Oh, we do have a case, however.

Now, ah, you admit your dog
did bite my client, do you?

-Well, I understand he
sort of took a nip at him.

-I believe there was a witness.

A young lad.

Dennis Mitchell?

-Oh, yes.
Yes.

Dennis.

He's right out here.

He'll tell you exactly
how it happened.

Dennis?

Dennis!

How do you like that?

Under my feet all day,
and now when I need him,

he's disappeared.

-Oh, now, I don't we'll have
any problems, Mr. Wilson.

You see, my client does not want
to take you to court at all.

-Oh, well, good.

Good.

-Unless he has to.

You see, he hopes
that you and I will

be able to work out an
amicable settlement.

Now, he feels that $
would be a proper amount.

-$ ?

Why, that's absolutely
ridiculous, Mr. McRae.

He can't kicked my dog!

Oh, can't we talk
this thing over?

Get Mr. Hatch on the phone.

Maybe $ ?

-All right, sir.

Yes, sir, I'll tell him.

-Well, what did he say?

What did he say?

-He will settle
the claim for $ .

That is this bottom figure.

-Well, of all the-- well, he's
a pirate, that's what he is.

A dirty old pirate.
-Mr. Wilson!

Now, this is my first
experience with Mr. Hatch,

and I will admit he
can be a bit difficult.

But pirate?

That is a very strong word, sir.

-Well, by golly, I--
-Hey, Mr. Wilson!

Mr. Wilson!
Guess what?

-Oh, Dennis, now for heaven's
sakes, don't bother me now.

-But wait 'til I tell you that--

-Dennis, I don't want
you to tell me anything.

Now be quiet, both of you.

Now, what was I saying?

Oh.

Yes I was saying
that, that old man

Hatch is a dirty old pirate,
McRae, and you may quote me.

-Regardless of what you may
think of him personally,

the fact remains that he was
bitten by your dog on the right

leg between the ankle--

-That's the one!
That's the one!

-Yeah, the right leg!
-That's it!

-The wooden one!

-Dennis, for heaven's sakes,
will you-- What did you say?

-Mr. Hatch's right leg.

Where Fremont bit him.

It's a wooden leg!

-Yeah, wood!

-Are you sure?
-Yeah!

We were just over to see him,
and he was washing his car!

-And his pant legs
were rolled up.

-And he's got a wooden leg.

The right one.

You wanna go see it?

-That dirty old pirate!

You must believe me, I-- I knew
absolutely nothing about this.

I-- I sincerely apologize.

-And I think you
should, Mr. McRae.

Goodbye, sir.

Well.

Well, Dennis, you've saved me
a substantial sum of money.

Just sit right down here.

I'd like to do something
for you in return.

What do you want?

-Well, let's see.

I know.

Show Tommy here how good
you can bark like a dog!

-How good I-- Oh,
you mean, uh, oh!

Ha.
[barking]

-Well, my special
Father's Day is over.

He's your boy again.

But I don't mind telling
you I hate giving him back.

-Oh, Mr. Wilson, there's nothing
we'd rather hear you say.

-Really Alice, it was a day that
George and I will never forget.

-I'll never forget it either.

Boy, you should've seen
the swell dinner we had.

And you know what Mr.
Wilson's favorite food is?

Hamburgers and
three kinds of pie.

-Only on Father's
Day, of course.

-Oh, oh, it tasted great.

I may have it every day.

-Well, Martha.

We better be heading for home.

It's probably close
to Dennis' bedtime.

-Dennis.

Thank you for making us
both very happy today.

You're a fine boy.

-Ah.

Mr. Wilson, that
suits you to a T.

-Thank you, Mitchell.

I expect to get a load
of wear out of it.

-Bye.
-Goodnight.

-Oh.

-Well, I have never seen Mr.
Wilson in such good spirits

before.

-Well, having his own Father's
Day has sort of perked him up.

-I just had another
swell idea, dad.

-What's that, son?

-Father's Days are
the best fun of all,

so why don't you
stay home tomorrow

and I'll have another
special one for you.

-Thanks for the
thought, son, but let's

wait until next year, huh?

[theme music]
Post Reply