03x23 - Mr. Wilson's Housekeeper

[bunniefuu]

-Hi, Dad!

-Hi, son!

-Let me help you with that.

-Why all the extra service?

-Well, see there's something

I want to tell you about.

-Oh?

-Now, sit right down here.

[chuckling]

-See?

Tommy's dad just bought

him a swell new pair

of roller skates.

-I see.

So now, you'd like

to pair for yourself.

-Yeah!

How'd you know?

-Well, just a lucky guess.

-Look!

I cleaned your

slippers real good.

-Hey, this is really

some campaign.

[chuckling]

-OK, you get the skates.

-Oh boy!

Oh, Dad, here's your pipe.

-Well, thank you.

-Oh, I meant to tell you,

I washed your pipe, too.

Is there anything else

I can do for you, Dad?

-No, I'm afraid you've

done enough, son.

-I've finished the

upstairs, dear.

Well, you seem to

have slowed down here.

I've come to a complete stop.

Martha, I don't mind

telling you, I've had it.

-Well, I'm not surprised.

It's the first time you've

helped me with the spring

cleaning and you're

not used to it.

-Ugh.

I ache in bones I

didn't even know I had.

If spring cleaning wears out

a strong, healthy man like me,

I can imagine what it

does to a delicate woman.

-It only happens once a year.

-Yes, but the

ordinary housecleaning

goes on every day.

The cooking, the dish washing,

the bed making-- Martha,

I've made a sl*ve

of you for years.

-Oh, nonsense.

I only do what any

wife's supposed to do.

-Well, by golly, I'm

putting a stop to it.

I'm hiring you a

housekeeper tomorrow.

-A housekeeper?

-I'm going to call

an employment agency

and tell them to send the

best woman they've got over

in the morning for an interview.

-George, I'm not sure

I want a housekeeper.

Besides, it's an added expense.

-Oh, well, my stocks

are doing well,

and I'm willing to

spend any amount-- a-any

reasonable amount to relieve

you of the duties that

have left you mentally

and physically fatigued.

-I'm not mentally and

physically fatigued.

-Well, you must be, or you

wouldn't be arguing with me.

Now, we are going to

have a housekeeper,

and you're going to rest.

-Well, maybe I'll enjoy being

a lady of leisure for a change.

-Of course you will, my dear,

it'll make a new woman of you.

No longer will your

fingers be worn with toil.

-George, you make me

sound like Mother Machree.

-Look, Mom.

Aren't they cute?

-Well, I never thought I'd

say it, but they really are.

-Schools have certainly

changed since I was a boy.

We didn't have mice to play

with as part of our lessons.

-Oh, we don't just

play with them, Dad.

Us kids are going to

have all kinds of pets.

And we're gonna

feed them real good

and report on how they grow.

-They're teaching the

children that proper diet

can make them grow, too.

-That's right, Mom.

So I'm gonna feed my mice

plenty of ice cream and cake.

-I wouldn't do that, son.

-Why not?

I eat all the ice cream

and cake I can get.

And I'm still growing.

-You'd better consult

your mother and me

before you start feeding them.

We'll work out a diet together.

-OK.

I'm gonna take the

mice over to Mr. Wilson

and show them to him.

-Oh, maybe you shouldn't, dear.

He might be busy.

-Oh, I won't stay long.

I think Mr. Wilson

ought to meet the mice.

Because I want all my

friends to know each other.

-Heh heh heh.

Oh, these'll make a

very interesting school

project, Dennis.

-You should see

the way they run.

Is it OK if I let them

loose on the floor?

-Oh, no, no, you'd better not.

No, no, Dennis.

Mrs. Wilson gave the house a

thorough cleaning yesterday.

-Boy, everything

sure looks clean.

Well, it'll be the last

time she has to do it.

I'm bringing in another woman

to cook and do the housework.

-You mean you're

gonna have two wives?

Boy, wait'll I tell

Mom and Dad that you--

-No, Dennis.

Not two wives.

This woman, a Mrs.

Davis, is going

to be paid to do the work.

-Oh.

Oh, you mean Mrs. Wilson

did it all for nothing, huh?

-Yeah.

I mean, no!

No, she did it because

uh, eh, uh-- oh,

you're too young to understand.

-Well hiya, Mrs. Davis!

-Morning, Mr. Grigsby.

-Whatcha doing around

this part of town?

-Agency sent me to

see some people named

Wilson who want a housekeeper.

Know anything about them?

-Why, yeah.

They're fine folks.

Been my customers for years.

Y-you'll like the Wilsons.

-Oh, I hope you're right.

I'm hard to please.

-Hmm-hmm.

Boy, you sure weren't pleased

on the last job you were on.

-Their house was

overrun with mice,

and that's one

thing I can't stand.

-You know, that's kind of funny.

Mice are such little critters

for a big gal like you

to be scared of.

-So I've got one weak point.

Aren't you afraid of anything?

-Heh, yeah, my wife.

But she's no mouse.

If there's a mouse around

my house, I guess it's me.

-Mm, I won't argue with that.

-Well, I have

deliveries to make.

I'll see you tomorrow

at the Wilsons.

-You will, unless they got mice.

-Oh, don't be afraid.

I'll protect you.

If you hear a squeak,

just let out a shriek.

So long, Mousey!

-You know something

funny, Mr. Wilson?

One of them just keeps

running around in circles.

And I don't know

which one it is.

-Oh, you mean you don't have

names for your mice, Dennis?

-Well, not yet.

But I'm gonna name

one of them after you.

-Oh ho, that's very flattering.

Which one will have that honor?

-The one that turns out to be

the biggest, and the strongest,

and the fattest.

-Well, the biggest

and the strongest

would have been enough.

[doorbell ringing]

-Uh oh, that must be Mrs. Davis.

-Maybe she'd like

to see my mice, too.

-Uh, no.

No, you better go

on home, Dennis.

I have to interview Mrs. Davis,

ask her a lot of questions.

You wouldn't be interested.

-OK, see you later.

-All right.

-Oh, heh.

Mrs. Davis?

-That's right.

Agency sent me.

-Oh.

I'm George Wilson.

Eh, come right in.

Ah, eh, sit down.

Ha heh heh.

Ah.

Now then, Mrs. Davis, let's

get right down to business,

eh, ahem.

Have you, uh, had much

experience as a housekeeper?

-Don't fret about my experience.

I've had plenty.

How much experience

have you had as a boss?

-Me?

Oh, well, I-- heh.

-A real boss don't

try to be bossy,

and that's the only

kind I'll work for.

I'm a woman who don't

like interference.

-Oh, well I can

understand that--

-And there are some other

things I don't like.

I keep a neat, tidy house.

And I don't put up with

people who are messy.

Are you messy?

-Why, of course not, I--

-Are you sure?

You got your necktie

on kind of crooked.

Oh.

Uh, I'm a very tidy man--

-We'll get along if you

remember I'm in complete charge.

All right with you?

-Oh, well, I suppose so.

-All right, I'm hired.

Where is the kitchen?

-Eh, oh, it's right out there.

-Oh!

Hello.

-Hello.

You Mrs. Wilson?

-Yes.

You must be the housekeeper.

-Flora Davis.

Hope we get along.

-Oh, I'm sure we will if

Mr. Wilson selected you.

Where is he?

-Out in the patio.

Got under foot, so I told

him to get out of here

and go take a nap.

-Well, men do have

a way of get--

Why are you washing dishes?

I didn't think I left any

dirty ones this morning.

-You didn't.

I got my own system of stacking

dishes in the cupboard.

Took them out to

stack them my way.

Long as they were out, I

decided to wash them again.

-Ah.

Well, while you

finish that, I'll

start getting my

husband's lunch.

-I'll do it.

Plenty of time to finish

this and do the cooking, too.

-But I found the

nicest cod liver.

And Mr. Wilson likes

the way I fix it.

-There's nothing wrong

with the way I fix it.

Now, you just take

yourself a rest,

and I'll take care of the work.

Well, if there's

nothing I can do.

-Not a thing.

No more chores for

you, Mrs. Wilson.

You got me now, and things

are going to be different.

-Yes, I can see they will be.

-Thank you.

-Oh, good morning, Mitchell.

-Good morning, Mr. Wilson.

Say, Dennis tells me you

hired a housekeeper yesterday.

-I certainly did.

And it's the best thing that

ever happened to Martha.

-It's the worst thing that's

ever happened to me, Alice.

-A housekeeper for you?

-Is the woman a

good housekeeper?

-Oh, highly efficient.

She's taken over so

completely, Martha

doesn't even have

to lift a hand.

-I can't lift a hand.

I can't even get

into my own kitchen.

-I imagine Mrs. Wilson's

pretty grateful, huh?

-Oh, naturally.

She realizes I've done a

fine, generous thing for her.

-Poor, silly George

thinks he's done

such a fine, generous

thing for me.

I can't hurt his feelings.

-Oh, dear.

Yes, I can see why

you can't fire her.

-Mr. Wilson!

Just where do you think

you're putting those ashes?

-Ashes?

Why, in the ash

stand, of course.

That's where I always put--

The ash stand, where is it?

-There it is.

-But I always keep

it here by the couch.

I thought it was still

here-- who moved it?

-I did.

Now gimme that thing,

before you make more mess.

-Wait a minute!

What are you doing?

I paid cents for that cigar!

-Well, even the price

of cabbage has gone up.

-Now, look here, Mrs.

Davis, this is my house.

-It's your wife's

house, too, and she

don't give me any trouble.

And she wouldn't like it if

she knew you were complaining.

-Ohh, well, all right,

all right, but-- I

want that ash stand over by

the couch where I sit to read.

-The light's better for reading

in this chair, so sit here.

Anyway, a man as

old as you are ought

to be careful of his eyes.

-Oh, no, don't you bother

with that, Mrs. Wilson.

-Oh, I don't mind.

I enjoy fixing flowers.

-I'm your housekeeper.

I keep the house.

In spite of himself out there,

dropping ashes on the rug.

Got a little sulky when

I called him on it.

-Oh.

Well, I wouldn't want you to

stay if Mr. Wilson upset you.

-Don't you worry about me.

I can handle him fine.

-Oh.

Because if you decided to

quit, I'd understand perfectly.

-No, sir.

I'm no quitter.

When I take a job,

I stay with it.

-Good.

The only time I ever

quit was my last job.

I walked out on the back porch

and, right there in the corner,

looking at me was--

-Hey, Mrs. Wilson!

Here's the butter Mom borrowed.

Oh, excuse me.

-Mrs. Davis, this is our

little friend, Dennis Mitchell.

-Hello, sonny.

-Hi, Mrs. Davis.

You're the new

housekeeper, aren't you?

-That's right, and I'm

pretty busy right now.

-Would you like to look

at my school project?

It's very interesting.

-We mustn't bother

Mrs. Davis now.

You come along with me.

-Maybe I'll see you

tomorrow, Mrs. Davis.

-I'll be here.

-Yes, dear.

Mrs. Davis will be here

tomorrow, and the next day,

and the next day, and

the day after that.

-Ah.

[humming to himself]

[phone ringing]

Martha!

Oh, she's out.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Martha.

I just yelled at you

to answer the phone.

I forgot you were

out for a minute.

Well, where are you?

Ah.

Heh heh heh heh.

Well, of course you may, Martha.

Eh-- no, no, I can't think

of anything I need downtown.

Oh, fine.

Yeah.

All right, dear.

I'll see you a little bit later.

Mhm.

All right.

Bye-bye.

Eh-- Wh-- Where are my stamps?

-In the desk drawer

where they belong.

-In the desk?

Oh, for the-- Mrs.

Davis, I spent

an hour sorting

these stamps out.

-I spent two hours

cleaning the house,

and I won't have

the coffee table

all littered up with

dirty scraps of paper!

-Dirty scra--!

For your information,

Mrs. Davis,

I happen to have a very

valuable collection of stamps.

-If a man your age wants

to sit around the house

and play with stamps

all day, that's

fine with me, but not

in the living room.

Right?

-We'll see about that.

I'll--

-And another thing.

I just put fresh towels

in the powder room.

Your towels are

in your bathroom.

If your hands get dirty

again, upstairs, right?

-Wha--?!

Wuh- urgh.

I'll wash my hands

any place I please!

It's an outrage,

that's what it is.

Why, I ought to go in there

and tell her that-- Ohh.

Hello, Dennis.

-Jeepers, you look

mad, Mr. Wilson.

I'll go home if

I'm bothering you.

-Oh, no, no, no.

It isn't you this time.

It's that Davis woman,

telling me I can't do this

and I can't do that,

and in my own home.

By golly, I won't

put up with it.

-What are you gonna

do, Mr. Wilson?

Are you gonna fire Mrs. Davis?

-Oh, I wish I

could, but I can't.

I hired her because

Mrs. Wilson needs her.

So uh, d-d-don't you

mention this to Mrs. Wilson,

understand?

-OK.

But if there's anything

I can do for you,

Mr. Wilson-- Oh, hi, Mrs. Davis!

-Now, don't get

under my feet, sonny.

I'm gonna hang up the clothes.

-Oh, I won't.

I'll help you.

Jeepers!

Is this yours, Mr. Wilson?

-Ah, ah, ah, uh-- put that down.

It's my long underwear.

-Boy, sure is!

This is the longest

underwear I ever saw.

-Oh, now-- you're not going

to hang these out here

are you, in the backyard?

Why, the neighbors can

look right in here.

-Why not give them a laugh?

Any neighbor of

yours needs a laugh.

-Oh, is that so?

I'll hang it in the basement.

All right, Dennis.

Let her do the work.

She's getting paid for it.

-Would you like to look at my

school project now, Mrs. Davis?

-Well, all--

-Dennis, I told you

not to bother her.

Now, come on.

-Well, yes, she seems

like a good housekeeper.

Why?

-Well, I just wanted to make

sure you're satisfied with her,

because if she displeased

you in any way,

I'd dismiss her Immediately.

-You would?

-Oh, just like that.

Have another woman

on the job before you

could say Jack Robinson.

-Another housekeeper?

-Oh, absolutely.

I wouldn't leave

you without help.

I just wondered if Mrs.

Davis was right for you.

Uh-- is she?

-Uh-- well she is

a good housekeeper.

She's neat and careful.

If, if we got another

woman, it might be worse.

-Mmm.

It's possible.

-Grace Trivers had a woman who

broke half of her good china

the first week, and

then tried to hide

the pieces in the wastebasket.

-Hmm.

Is that so?

-Yes.

I wouldn't have a

woman like that around.

-Oh, no, I should say not.

-Well I'll go for my walk.

I simply have nothing

to do these days.

-Ah, good, good, dear.

You go right ahead

and enjoy yourself.

Oh!

Uh, when Mrs. Davis gets

back from the market,

any special instructions?

-No.

Mrs. Davis doesn't

like instructions.

-I'll break one piece

of Martha's best china

and carefully hide it where

she'll be sure to find it.

Ha ha.

Yes, we'll have a new

housekeeper tomorrow!

-George Wilson, you're

a diabolical genius.

-Jeepers, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh, Dennis, what're

you doing here?

-I ran out of

cheese for my mice.

Why are you breaking the dishes?

-Eh-- oh.

Well, heh heh.

You see, eh, I just never

have liked this set of dishes

and uh, I'm going to get

some new ones anyway, and--

-Oh, boy!

I'll help you get rid of these.

-Huh?

Oh!

Dennis, don't-- --start.

Confound it, I wish she'd leave

my desk al-- oh, here it is.

-Where's your wife?

She upstairs?

-No.

She's not upstairs, she's next

door visiting the Mitchells.

Why?

-Look what I found in the

wastebasket this morning.

You busted those

dishes, didn't you?

-Well, I don't think that's

any of your business.

-Well, you just be sure

your wife knows you did it.

I don't want her

blaming me for it.

-Oh, nobody's blaming you

for it-- uh, unfortunately.

-What was that?

-I said nobody's blaming you.

-You just stay out of my kitchen

and we won't have any trouble.

-Your kitchen?

-And I put your pills

up in the bathroom.

They don't belong in

my kitchen cupboard.

-But I take them

after each meal.

-I just straightened

out those cupboards,

and I want them kept that way.

At least your wife

appreciates a neat house.

-By golly, I'll

fix her this time.

Martha likes her

because she's neat.

I know!

I'll make a mare's nest

out of those cupboards

and blame it on her.

Ha ha ha ha!

-Oh, hi, Mr. Wilson.

Whatcha doing up there?

-Oh-- hello, Grigsby.

Oh, I was just, uh, checking

up on our housekeeper.

-Mrs. Davis?

-Uh huh, to make

sure that she kept

our cupboards in good order.

-Oh, you don't have to

worry about old Mousey.

She's a real neat one!

-Old Mousey?

-Haha.

-That's an odd name for her.

Oh, I just call her

that to kid her.

She's scared to death of mice.

Imagine a old

battleaxe like that.

-Scared of mice!

-Oh yeah.

You haven't got any mice around

here, or she'd have quit.

Why, the last job that

she was on, she saw one

and she took off like

a guided m*ssile.

-Well, how do you like that.

Dennis and his project.

Why, I had the key right

in my hands all the time

and didn't know it!

-The key?

What key?

-Mice.

Now, to get Dennis over here.

-They really are

growing, aren't they?

-That's because I'm

feeding them real good.

You know, our teacher says

that-- oh, hi, Mr. Wilson.

-Ohh, Dennis, am

I glad to see you.

You and your dear little pets.

Mrs. Davis!

Would you come

downstairs, please?

-Why do you want her?

-Well, uh, Mrs. Davis has

been working very hard lately.

I think she deserves

a little treat.

Don't you?

-Well, I suppose so.

-Well, what is it?

Better be important,

interrupting me when I'm busy.

-Well, Mrs. Davis, we were

looking at Dennis' school

project and thought

you'd enjoy it, too.

Very educational.

Oh, uh-- won't you sit down?

-All right.

Don't mind resting my feet.

-Now, Dennis, show her

what you have in the box.

-Aren't they cute?

-Ohh, they're darling!

-Darling?

There's nothing sweeter

than a baby chick.

-You know, we're learning how to

take care of all kinds of pets.

-Dennis, what happened

to your other project?

-Oh, I've still got them, too.

I'll put them in

your lap, Mrs. Davis.

If you like chicks,

you'll love these.

[screaming]

-No way!

I can't stand them!

I quit!

I'm through, Mrs. Wilson!

You can mail me my check!

-Oh, she's really gone.

Ohh, happy day!

-Now, Martha, don't

you worry, I'll

hire you a-- what did you say?

-Now, George, sit down.

The time has come for me to

make a little confession to you.

[laughing]

-And all the time, you were

hoping we could get rid of her.

-Yes!

And so were you, but you

wouldn't admit it, either.

-No!

-Oh, I'm so glad it's all over.

-Oh, Martha, so am I.

-My, I'm dying to

get back to work.

Do you realize I haven't even

been able to make a cup of tea

for a whole week?

-By golly, you haven't.

A nice cup of tea would

taste good right now.

-I caught them all.

One of them was

halfway up the stairs.

And you know who that one was?

Good old Mr. Wilson.

Boy, Mrs. Davis liked to

scare my project to death.

-Well, it's an

excellent project,

Dennis and you've done

a fine job with it.

-You certainly have.

We're going to have a little

tea party to celebrate.

-Oh, boy, swell!

-And a big plate of

cheese for your mice.

-Hey, did ya hear that, fellas?

All the cheese you can eat.

-And I'll just get

the tea kettle on.

-And I'll get the cheese out.

-And I'll get the teabags.

Oh, this really feels

like a celebration.

[groans]

-Boy, it's a good thing

Mrs. Davis isn't here.

She'd really bawl you out.

-Ohh, good grief!

-This has been a Screen

Gems film production

from the Hollywood studios

of Columbia Pictures.