[Crowd cheering]
All right, boys, there's
seconds on the clock.
Davis just pulled a hammy and
Cooper just peed his pants.
Let's put the women and children
to bed, and go looking for
supper.
- , hup hup!
Whoo!
JEN: Jonesy!
Hey!
What are you doing?
Get out, get out, get out!
Hey, watch who you're barking
at!
I'm a paying customer.
I happen to be shopping for a
football.
Oh, really.
Okay come on.
I'll ring you up.
Sorry.
We've got these sales quotas
here, and I'm kind of behind.
Plus, the only cute guy who
worked here quit yesterday.
So now it's just me and The
Crusher.
[Grunting]
Yeah, yeah!
Whoo!
He's an enforcer.
That'll be $ . .
What?
Do I look like I'm made of
money?
Excuse me.
You're excused.
[Giggling]
Can I kiss you?
Uh, I mean help you?
Hey!
You were helping me!
If you screw this up for me,
I will so make you pay!
So, I get off work at five.
Yeah, me too.
I'm Corey, the new sales
associate here.
Oh, that's great!
I'll show you around.
Masterson!
You've let down your defence!
Jock straps need reorganizing,
Aisle Nine, pronto!
And don't forget to restock the
extra large ones this time!
Right away, Coach!
Excuse me.
I hate my boss.
MAN: Yo, Lardbomb!
Touchdown!
♪
♪ Life begins after school
♪ That's when we bend
all the rules ♪
♪ Time to hang
with all my friends ♪
♪ We like to be together
in a place where we belong ♪
♪ I'm sixteen
starting to find my way ♪
♪ Got a new job
gonna start at the mall today ♪
♪ Thank God I'm on my own
for the first time ♪
♪ I'm sixteen life is sweet
♪ When you're growing up
so fast ♪
♪ You got to make the good
times last ♪
♪
♪ I'm sixteen sixteen
♪ Got to make the good
times last ♪
The first thing you should
know is the boss is a bonehead.
We're talking first-class moron.
Ah, there you are, Masterson.
I see you've met our newest
employee.
Definitely.
Corey here's following in my
footsteps and I couldn't be
prouder.
Isn't that right, son?
You got it, Dad.
The Coach is your father?
[Coughing]: Way to go.
Oh, when I said "bonehead" I
meant it in a really good way.
How can the most perfect guy in
the universe be Coach Halder's
son!?
He's not so great.
I could take him.
Could you imagine kissing
someone related to The Coach?
If I went over to his house to
watch a movie, I'd be at The
Coach's house.
You've got a lot to say for
someone who's dad wears white
track pants.
My dad only wore those out of
the house once.
You guys just all happened to be
there.
I dug that outfit, man.
Well, what do you think,
Nikki?
Personally, I've had it with
slobbery high school guys.
But obviously that's just me.
He is really cute.
What the heck!
What's the worst that can
happen?
Thanks guys!
Listen up, dudes.
We're having a new contest.
Choose the next food on a stick
and win a prize.
I bet the prize sucks.
Nuh-uh.
You could win a lifetime supply
of free Stick-Its.
You're not allowed to give
prizes like that.
I'm the manager.
I can do whatever I want.
Okay.
How about hot dogs on a stick.
Wow, that's good.
Put your entry in the box and I
think you have a chance, little
man.
[Laughing]
Hurry up!
I can't be seen in this dweeb
hangout!
I just need an adapter so my
MP player can read eBooks.
Do you have any idea how
uncool that sounded?
There aren't even any hot chicks
here.
Jerk.
[Gasping]: Man!
The one time!
Thanks.
She was about to buy a new
positronic calculator.
I've got my eye on you.
That guy gives me the
creeps.
Aw, Darth's okay.
Found it.
"Darth's okay"?
You say that like you know him.
I was in audio-visual club
with him a couple years ago.
Can you even spell "cool"
anymore?
[Laughing]
Look man, he's wearing a
cape!
Laugh all you want.
I control who gets discount
cards.
Not any more you don't, geek.
Now that's funny.
[Imitating Darth Vader]: Wyatt,
I am your father.
Jonesy, look, don't touch,
remember?
Dude, will you relax?
It's just a stupid toy.
Okay, option one, you pay a
hundred bucks to replace the
speaker.
Option two, I call mall
security.
Hmm.
Gee, a nickel and a button?
Yeah, but that's a rare
antique button.
Yep, mall security it is.
Darth, buddy, I think I have
a better idea.
Who's the doofus who picked
these shirts for the store
uniform?
Uh, that would be me.
But feel free to add a personal
touch.
Maybe a cape.
As they say in Russia, fat
chance, Igor.
I can't believe you got me
working here!
It's just 'til you pay off
the equipment.
Have fun with it.
Shall we start you off with
the light sabre?
All my employees are trained
Jedis.
I don't want this one.
It's small.
Silence apprentice!
You don't remember me?
Nope.
Can't say that I do.
Atomic wedgies ring a bell?
Hmm.
How about pantsing me in
front of the whole sixth grade?
That was you?
Man, that wedgie must have hurt!
We pulled it over your
shoulders!
Yes.
But now you're mine.
Yes, mine!
[Coughing and wheezing]
Corey, hi.
I wanted to ask you something.
sh**t.
Okay, this is hard.
Okay, I was wondering if you
like, maybe, since you like to
eat, and I like to eat, if you
wanted to, we could like--
Are you asking me out?
Cool, how's tonight?
Really??
I mean, great, great.
Cool.
[Beeping]
Look at that.
Coffee break already.
See you after work.
That was so easy!
Yo.
This blows.
We haven't seen a customer in
two hours.
Of course not.
Everyone's at the astronomy
convention today.
Yeah, everyone who's a loser.
A Jedi Master must take
advantage of slow economic
activity to hone his fighting
skills.
[Breathing heavily]
You've never kissed a chick,
have you?
Do not mock what you can't
understand, young Padawan.
Ouch.
Mastering the lightsaber is
more difficult than it appears.
I'm the top scorer on the
varsity hockey team.
I think I can handle a toy
sword.
Prove it.
[Grunting]
♪
[Groaning]
Ha ha!
I rule!
Hey!
Ouch!
A-ha, you begin to understand
the error of your ways.
I can't believe I got my butt
whipped by a nerd.
Just good no one cool was
here to see it.
Oh, so you wouldn't want the
security tape released, then?
Security tape??
Oh!
Don't worry.
I'll keep the video safe, as
long as you do what I say.
So what you're saying is, I'm
screwed.
Like a light bulb.
So that's how I got the MVP
award in the ninth grade.
Wow, you've really been--
Off-side!!
Oh, come on!
Get the ref some glasses!
Man!
Ah, right, as I was saying, I
won--
Uh, sorry babe.
Just two minutes left in
overtime.
sh**t it!
sh**t the puck!
[Sighing]
Are you almost finished?
Hold on, babe.
I'm in the middle of the fourth
here.
You having fun, right?
Yeah, sure.
So, um, let's do a movie
tomorrow.
I was thinking Manly Fighters
II.
Never heard of it.
Lots of fighting and heads
exploding - you'll love it!
Here, take over for me so I can
get something to drink.
Oh, um, I'm not very good at
this game.
Come on, Masterson, where's
your team spirit?
And remember, it's not how you
play the game, it's whether you
win it!
Now push those buttons!
Move, move!
Hello?
KATE: [span tts:fontStyle="italic"]It's me.
[span tts:fontStyle="italic"]How's your date going?
That's easy.
It's the worst date I've ever
been on in my life.
[span tts:fontStyle="italic"]Game over.
We have nothing in common, he
doesn't listen to me, and he's
bossier than Coach Halder.
And he's already asked me out
again.
I didn't know how to say no!
Wow, I'm so glad I'm not you
right now.
So I guess I just tell Corey
we're not going out again.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't
just dump him!
Why not?
Guys have fragile egos and
this guy's your boss' son.
Wyatt's right, if he's a
jerk, he could probably get his
dad to fire you.
Oh, no, you're right!
I'm stuck with a jerk for
all-eternity.
Hey, eternity is just a state
of mind.
Well if Jen can't break up
with Corey, why can't she get
Corey to break up with her
instead.
Uh, because he likes her.
Sure, he does now.
But not when she becomes a
psycho girlfriend and makes his
life miserable.
That's so diabolical it just
might work.
Way to go, Kaitlin!
It's amazing, you look so
sweet, and yet it's like there's
this inner-cow that's dying to
get out.
I like it.
Thanks!
You're a total cow too!
Now, remember, the goal is to
turn him off so much that he
can't wait to dump you.
How do I do that?
Hmm, I don't know.
Beats me.
Come on, guys, I need you
here.
Ahem, why don't you find out
what guys really hate from the
experts.
We don't know any.
We're talking about us!
Yeah, allow us to teach you
Betties something about the mind
of the dude.
What the heck, they are guys.
We're listening.
All right, start by getting
matching outfits.
That'll turn him off, big-time.
Ah, nice opener, dude.
And phone a guy like every
fifteen minutes.
And tell him you're dreaming
about your wedding day and what
your kids will look like.
Right, this is good stuff.
And use stupid pet names,
like Rasta Honey Party Munchkin.
Uh, try Sweety Poopookins in
a baby voice.
We hate that.
Really?
Wow.
I thought guys thought that was
cute.
Uh, no.
Negatory.
Where's Jonesy.
Maybe he has things he hates
too.
Well, I'm not supposed to
tell you, but I will.
It's too good.
Very tired.
Need rest.
[Groaning]
Not bad, young Padawan.
Not bad at all.
You know, I've got to hand it
to you, Darth.
Why's that?
You got me cornered.
Making that video was pretty
smart.
My IQ is .
I don't even have an IQ.
But I was just thinking.
Maybe we can make a trade.
There must be something I can
give you for that tape.
Hm, you're popular, right?
As a chocolate bar at fat
camp.
And you know a lot of girls?
A chick!?
Now that's my specialty.
Tell me who she is and I know I
can get you a date.
Nikki.
That might be harder than I
thought.
No, way!
Jonesy?
[Gasping]
Nice light sabre, dude!
See, this makes up for a
morning of inventory with the
Clothes.
The gods are just.
Oh, it's my hero, Jones Solo!
[Laughing]
That's her!
Yeah, I know.
You can do it, Jen.
Just focus.
Focus.
You've got a blackbelt in bad
girlfriend kung fu.
Kung Fu.
Now go smother him.
Corey honey, look, I got us
matching sweaters!
[Giggling]
I think she's going to be
fine.
So, Nikki, you got any plans
tonight?
Not really?
Why?
Because I have got the best
guy for you.
No.
He's really smart.
He has a very interesting
personality.
I don't do blind dates.
Nice pocket protector, by the
way.
Okay, look, this guy is
absolutely crazy about you and
he begged me to set you up.
Let me think about it...
nope.
I thought you were
spontaneous.
Why is this so important to
you?
I'm just trying to help two
good friends!
What have you got to lose?
Ugh, fine.
Yes!
You are a great friend.
Six o'clock, food court, see you
there.
I know I'm going to regret
this.
Aw, we look so cute together
in our outfits.
I bet everybody noticed.
Yeah, I guess.
Hold on, there's butter on
this.
Didn't you get the message I
left about healthy eating?
I didn't get a chance to hear
all of them yet.
Well, buttered popcorn is
full of saturated fat.
Ooh look, there's Wyatt!
Hi Wyatt, look!
I'm here with my new boyfriend!
We're going to be together
forever, and ever, and ever!
Congratulations!
Aw Sweetie Poopookins, is
everything okay?
"Sweetie Poopookins"?
We should have a talk.
I want us to share our feelings.
But the movie's about to
start...
But I need to talk.
Wait, you want to break up with
me, don't you?
It's that girl in the volleyball
section, isn't it?
I saw you looking at her!
Are you kidding??
You're like a dream come true!
Excuse me?
I like how you look out for
me.
Making sure I eat right, and
phoning me - over and over and
over!
Aw, Fuzzy Wuzzy Bunnykins.
[Coughing]
Sorry, popcorn stuck in my
throat.
Be right back.
Hello.
Kaitlin, this isn't working!
Corey likes everything I'm
doing, even the really gross
stuff!
Oh, that doesn't sound right.
Maybe he's a girl-boy.
A what??
A girl-boy.
A boy who sometimes acts like a
girl.
This is serious.
He could get attached.
Abort, Jen.
Abort immediately.
It's too late.
I thought you said this would
work!
Maybe you just don't have the
touch.
Oh, I have the touch.
I've turned off tons of guys
before.
Okay, Corey, I am now your new
worst nightmare.
Hi, what you doing?
Hi, I'm just meeting a
friend.
Want to enter my contest
first?
Choose the next food on a stick
and--
[Loudly]: win!
Check it out: we've got crackers
and cheese on a stick, gum on a
stick...
You're good at inventing things.
Yeah, well, if I have nothing
better to do after the world
ends, I'll come back.
Cool.
Nikki, ready for your date.
I guess so.
Where is he?
The pleasure is all mine.
What's he doing here?
He's your date.
The force is strong with this
one.
No, really, what's he doing
here?
Wait, you're setting me up with
Darth?
Are you crazy?
[Laughing]: You two want
milk shakes to start things off?
My treat.
So, who's your favourite
band?
Save it, Yoda.
This is not going to happen.
[Sighing]: I know.
I mean, Jonesy only agreed to
set me up with you because of
the video tape.
Video tape?
What video tape?
Oh, Corey, isn't Frilly and
Pink your favourite store in the
whole, wide world?
I didn't even know it
existed.
I mean, look at this pink,
round thing.
And this frilly stick.
Finally, someone to help me shop
for teddy bears!
I have a collection.
Isn't he the cutie-wootiest?
Oh!
Potpourri, my favourite!
[Sniffing and gagging]
So, having fun yet?
I never knew how soft a
pashmina was before.
These would be so nice to have
at those cold, early morning
football practices.
Unbelievable.
Did anyone tell you you're a
slow walker?
Pick up the pace, Masterson!
Oh, that is it!
Hey, what's the matter?
Don't you like what I bought
you?
Yes, I have always wanted
pink everything.
Aw, you're welcome.
Anything for my fuzzy--
No!
Stop right there.
Corey, it's over!
Come on, I thought you said
you could do this.
You're kind of distracting me
with your beauty.
We're getting revenge on
Jonesy, remember?
Just concentrate on that.
I'm having second thoughts.
Jonesy and I had a deal, and a
Jedi master is nothing without
honour.
Did Jonesy live up to his
side of the bargain?
He set you up with a girl who
thinks you're a freak.
Cool.
I'm over it.
Thanks.
So what does this wire do?
Not that one!
[Short circuiting and yelping]
[Screaming]
You and me are done.
You're breaking up with me?
[Amplified]: Oh, yes.
[span tts:fontStyle="italic"]But why?
JEN: [span tts:fontStyle="italic"]Why?
[span tts:fontStyle="italic"]Because I've had more
[span tts:fontStyle="italic"]stimulating conversations with
[span tts:fontStyle="italic"]a tree!
[span tts:fontStyle="italic"]You're completely
[span tts:fontStyle="italic"]self-involved, you like dumb
[span tts:fontStyle="italic"]movies, and you're a mushy
[span tts:fontStyle="italic"]little girl-boy.
[span tts:fontStyle="italic"]You suck, Corey Halder!
Okay, maybe I chose the wrong
wire.
[Gasping]
[Laughing nervously] Was that
my outside voice?
Man, what a relief!
I wanted to break up with you
too!
Shut up!
Yeah, but my dad told me you
could sue the store for
harassment and told me to suck
it up and take one for the team.
So you didn't really like all
that girly stuff?
Heck no.
That's great!
Hey wait, isn't taking one for
the team a bad thing?
Uh, usually.
See you.
Now that was the right wire.
No way!
[Laughing]
So then I scored the winning
goal in overtime.
It was awesome.
[Laughing]
I can see you're impressed.
Here's my number.
What happened?
What'd I do?
Noooooo!
Nasty.
Dude, you got rocked by that
geek.
[Laughing]
Uh, I'm not dating for a
while.
Thanks.
Whoo, that was a hard day at
the store.
Kind of awkward working with
Corey now, I guess, huh?
No, he transferred to another
location.
Funny, he wouldn't tell me which
one.
Hey Nikki, I just have to
ask; how did you convince Darth
to give you that video tape?
Do we have to bring up the
tape again?
It wasn't so hard, I just
paid him the rest of the money
Jonesy owed.
That was nice of you.
I thought Jonesy was going to
work it off at the Stereo Shack.
Oh, he was, but he got fired.
I guess he just didn't have what
it took to be a real Jedi
Knight.
Besides, paying Darth was such a
small price for a memory that
lasts a lifetime.
[Laughing]
That's it, laugh it up.
Just don't forget who has that
picture of you tap-dancing in
first grade.
You do not!
Do to!
In fact--
Jonesy, don't do it!
I'm warning you.
[Laughing]
WYATT: Nice hat!
[Laughing continues]
Give me that!
♪
01x08 - Breaking Up with the Boss' Son
Watch/Buy Amazon
Revolves around the lives of six sixteen-year-old friends who work part-time jobs at different stores within the mall.
Revolves around the lives of six sixteen-year-old friends who work part-time jobs at different stores within the mall.