01x14 - Clonesy

[bunniefuu]

♪

That's it, little dude.

Come on.

Just a bit farther.

[Laughing]

Excellent "splashage."

[Laughing]

You're the vegan island

chick.

We met before, remember?

You were sad because they sold

that massage chair you were so

into.

Right.

So you like watching fountain

diving too, huh?

Oh, totally.

It's so funny.

I heard that last week some dude

on his skateboard forgot to stop

and he took a total wipeout in

the water.

I wish I'd seen it.

Soaked five innocent

bystanders.

No way.

So you wanna go out sometime?

Definitely.

What are you doing tonight?

Well there's that new surf

movie coming out.

Teeth in the reef.

Whoa.

It's like you're reading my

mind, dude...ette.

Great, well I guess I'll see

you later.

Bye.

Ha, ha, ha.

♪

♪ Life begins after school

♪ That's when we bend

all the rules ♪

♪ Time to hang

with all my friends ♪

♪ We like to be together

in a place where we belong ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Starting to find my way

♪ Got a new job

♪ Gonna start at

the mall today ♪

♪ Thank God I'm on my own

for the first time ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Life is sweet

♪ When you're growing up

so fast ♪

♪ You got to make the good

times last ♪

♪

♪ I'm sixteen, sixteen

♪ Got to make the good times

last ♪

♪

Hey, I have an idea.

Let's get some lemonade.

Caitlin, you know Brad, don't

you.

Hi.

Hey.

You didn't tell me you got a

job.

Is it because you're embarrassed

about that hideous uniform?

You know I work here.

Why are you humiliating me in

front of Brad?

Because it's fun.

We'll have two large lemonades.

Coming right up.

If I had to wear a hat like

that I would feel like such a

loser.

It is pretty bad.

Aren't you doing an article

for the online paper about

part-time jobs?

You should take a picture of

Caitlin at hers.

BRAD: Yeah, great idea.

Thanks.

Hopefully it will make the front

page.

Great, here, take them.

Touchy.

Seriously, what's her problem?

[Laughing]

Ugh.

Hey, Caitlin, life is sweet

isn't it?

Yeah right.

Shove over I need to talk.

What's up?

Tricia is just a total pain

in my butt.

That's what.

Why does she hate me?

And why are you in here already?

It's only : .

You know that hockey player

for the Leafs, "Ronan."

He was in here shopping for

stick tape and I told him he

sucked.

MAN: Boo.

Well, he did.

I call three goals in a season

pretty sucky.

[Buzzing]

Finally.

You can't let her get to you.

I know, but it's so hard.

Gather around my khaki

sisters, tonight we crown our

new spokes-model of style.

Our emissary of ensembles.

Our khaki girl.

Being khaki girl would be so

huge.

I think I'd like die of pride.

Can you die of that?

I wouldn't worry about that,

Kirsten.

I'm Kristen.

Now now girls, I'm off for

lunch.

Try not to claw at each other

until I get back.

"Kapeesh?"

[Gasping]

Hello.

Love it.

Love the hair, love the clothes,

Love you.

You're signing up.

Me?

For what?

For khaki girl, silly.

Cool pierced girl, give her the

"deets."

I'm out of here.

Every year they pick a real

girl to be on the posters.

You should enter.

This is so your thing.

The winner gets a dollar

shopping spree at The Khaki

Barn.

Shut up.

I love free clothes.

Where do I sign?

Do you really think I could win?

You're a shoe-in.

TRICIA: Hey lemon head.

Slumming it with your worker bee

friends?

Hi Tricia.

Actually, Caitlin's just been

chosen to be the new khaki girl.

Well, not yet but the

regional manager liked me.

And I get a free shopping spree.

Really?

You can't sign up.

I'm the new khaki girl.

Not anymore.

You're just entering because

I'm in to it.

Well that's not a very nice

thing to say.

It's true but it's not very

nice.

See you later, lemon head.

And you used to be friends

with her?

So if you win and you die of

pride, can I have your halter

top collection?

Of course you can.

I hope you die soon.

Was that my outside voice?

I'm having a lovely time too.

Can I kiss you?

Dude, you've got to get a

date.

You're looking at the new food

demonstrator for Roast Burky

Chunklets.

A meat product made from roast

beef and turkey.

Part white meat, part red.

The perfect meal to serve your

family.

Just give me one.

How about you store the extra

meat at stick it so I don't have

to lug it up from storage in the

basement.

Cool.

Wait what's in it for me?

All the free "chunklets"

you can eat?

Okay but you've got to help

me with a little problem I'm

having first.

A guy problem.

You've come to the master of

guy problems.

sh**t.

Okay, dude.

But you have to promise to keep

it a secret.

Done.

Pinky swear?

Fine, forget it.

So I've got this date with Starr

tonight.

Hot freaky vegan chick, nice.

But here's the problem.

[Mumbling]

What was that?

[Mumbling]

What?

I never kissed a girl before.

[Laughing]

Ow, ow, fizz out the nose.

It's not funny, dude.

No you're right it's not.

It's pathetic.

I really like her.

What if I screw things up?

Okay man relax.

Dr, Jonesy is in the house and

he's got a PhD in k-i-s-s-i-n-g.

Really?

After one day with me you'll

be the make out master.

Right.

The perfect kiss is like a

work of art.

It has to be gentle yet firm.

Not too dry but not slobbery.

Spit swappage is encouraged.

Whoa, that sounds pretty

complicated.

No check it out, dude.

It's easy.

[Slobbering]

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Can't a guy talk to his buddy

and lick sauce off his hand?

Oh spare me.

So what's going on?

Jude's got a date with a

hottie tonight.

Aww, that's so great.

What smells so good over here

and where can I get some?

No thanks.

My stomach's already in knots.

Frenemies are so incredibly

stressful.

Come on, we've got to get you

ready to kick some khaki butt.

Now about that kiss.

Ahem.

Oh right, do you mind?

Oh what?

Is this some kind of guy bonding

thing?

Fine.

Come on Wyatt.

Hey, I'm a guy.

Fine.

See you guys.

Okay, using tongue is

optional.

Personally I enjoy a little

tonsil hockey now and then but

that's just me.

And that's all there is to

making out.

Any questions?

How do you know when a girl

wants to be kissed?

You'll know.

She'll give you signs.

What kind of signs?

Well it's all about body

language.

She'll probably lean in towards

you.

Maybe even touch you.

Then she'll part her lips

slightly and close her eyes and

that's when you go in for the

k*ll.

[Kissing]

Ah, dude, what are you

kissing me for?

I thought I was reading the

signs, man.

So you know when to kiss the

chick, dude.

BOTH: Yuck.

Well, this is weird.

So...

Never happened.

I'm going back to the stand.

Don't forget to crank the cool

up on this baby.

No worries, dude.

Later.

STARR: Hi Jude.

How's it going?

Hey.

What's happening?

Nothing.

And that's why I never wear

shoes unless I have to.

Wow, you've got a really cool

way of looking at stuff.

Thanks.

JONESY: Come and get them.

Roast Burky Chunklets fresh and

hot.

Uh I should get back to vegan

island before my customers give

in to that chunklet guy and eat

meat again.

Besides, my butt's getting numb.

Cool.

Later.

Now what was I doing?

Hmm.

Oh well.

How long do you think he'll

take?

Well, it's down to just you

and two face over there.

Shouldn't be much longer.

I can't believe he didn't

pick us.

We are so khaki-riffic.

Why are you ruining this for

me?

Because I can.

You know I have much better

shopping skills than you.

I can out shop you in my

sleep.

Prove it.

Fine.

How about a shop off tonight?

One hour before closing.

Okay, but if Caitlin wins,

you have to wear the lemon hat

for one whole day.

Cool, but if I win, lemon hat

has to make me a free smoothie

every time I'm in the mall for

the next year with a smile.

Deal.

Does this work for you?

Are you kidding me?

I can't wait.

Don't worry.

I'm going to help you train.

Good luck with that.

Later, lemon head.

What did you just do?

Don't worry, I've seen you

shop.

You were born to be shopper

girl.

Khaki girl.

Whatever.

We can win.

It's not just about the

clothes.

I can't let Tricia walk all over

me again.

Just do what I say and khaki

girl is ours.

Come on, we're officially in

training.

Meat bits!

Get your meat bits here!

I think I've found my calling.

Those are for you, buddy.

Are they dirty?

Nope.

It'sFirst LoveandSummer

Crush.

Aw man, they're chick flicks.

Exactly.

Watch and learn.

There's a reason chicks love

these movies.

What is it?

Dude, I don't know, I haven't

seen them.

But since you can't follow me on

a date they'll have to do.

Nikki.

Nikki.

Clones.

Mandy.

Gwen.

Jen.

Caitlin.

Nikki.

Caitlin.

Tricia.

Caitlin.

New loser friends of Caitlin.

Oh you stuck up little bit--

Okay, who wants some

chunklets, huh?

Hmph!

Hmph!

I just wanted to make sure

you knew who was going to win

tonight.

Aren't you forgetting who

used to be the superior shopper?

What's she talking about,

Tricia?

Before Tricia was friends

with you guys, she used to shop

with me.

[Gasping]

Does the Albatross and Finch one

time only sidewalk sale ring a

bell?

Yay!

[Sobbing]

I broke my wrist at that

sale.

But I got that dollar pink

sequin t*nk top for five

dollars.

Wow.

Impressive.

Just bring your A-game.

Oh, I'll bring it.

Let's go girls.

That was so intense.

I didn't know you had it in you.

There's a shopping spree on

the line.

No junk food before the shop

off.

Smoothies and protein bars only.

More for me.

You kick her skinny no pink t*nk

top butt.

♪

[Grunting]

Yeah, alright!

Alright, girls.

I want a clean match.

A dropped bag or a missed call

is cause for disqualification.

By the way, Tricia, fabulous

shoes.

Ready?

♪

[Cheering]

Why is it so insanely cold in

here?

[Beeping]

[Phone ringing]

[Clapping]

Wow, a hands free triple

combo.

JUDE: What are they doing

now?

It's down to the free shop

event.

Any improvised combination of

skills will decide the winner.

♪

[Cheering]

That's a shoulder sling,

hands free conference call,

credit card transaction into a

walk off receipt grab exit.

Wow.

You can take her.

That shoulder sling was off

center and she knows it.

♪

[Phone beeping]

[Phone ringing]

"Good luck tonight."

Must be for you.

Wicked moves.

"Nervous yet?"

A three bag quadruple text

message call?

I don't know if you can b*at

that.

That's it.

You are so dead.

[Gasping]

No!

Disqualified.

Ladies and gentlemen.

The new khaki girl is, Tricia.

[Cheering]

But she-- ohh!

[Stomach gurgling]

Bummer.

I'm late for my date.

Tell Caitlin I'm sorry, okay?

Sure.

I saw what she did.

You should have won.

What difference does it make?

She's the khaki girl now.

She gets the shopping spree and

she gets to humiliate me.

Ooh, I hate that girl.

Ow, my stomach is k*lling

me.

I don't feel so hot either.

Nikki, you're ice cold.

Come on, let's get out of

here.

I want to go drown myself in

junk food.

Oh, don't talk about food.

Excuse me, I've got to go

curl up and die.

Something's wrong with me.

I think it was something I ate.

Something like your nasty

chunklets!

There's nothing wrong with my

chunklets.

Chunklets are good.

Everyone digs the chunklets!

Nikki, open up.

We really have to go.

There's another bathroom in

this mall.

Find it!

[Shivering]

JONESY:Nik, Jonesy.

My chunklets didn't make you

sick did they?

If your chunklets had

anything to do with this, you're

dead meat, buddy.

This can't be my fault.

I did everything right this

time.

I marinated the meat, cooked it

to standard.

Jude refrigerated it...

Jude!

Jude!

Hmm.

Ohh!

It is the chunklets!

Jude!

Love it.

Love it.

Love you.

[Regurgitating]

My shirt.

It's ruined.

But I love the colour.

[Regurgitating]

This is crunch time.

Now hold it.

Oh, stay in the game now.

[Groaning]

It's like an epidemic.

Where's Jude?

His date.

MOVIE: Dude.

Dude I'm scared.

Okay, she's giving me the

head tilt and touching my knee.

All the signs are here.

If I don't go for it I might not

get another chance.

Okay, I'm going in.

[Screaming]

Come back!

I've never barfed on a girl

before.

Give me another chance!

♪

What?

Where is everybody?

Huh?

"Gone back to Khaki Barn.

Good news.

Will explain later.

Caitlin."

TOM: Love it.

Love it.

Jen, Tricia barfed on Tom and

now I get to be the khaki girl.

Alright.

This is so not fair.

I won.

[Crying]

♪

Oh, man.

I knew I forgot something.

Ron rent-a-cop says we could

be under investigation for food

poisoning.

And I got fired.

Again!

Haven't we been punished

enough?

I puked in my girlfriend's

mouth.

Well, she's not my girlfriend

now.

On the bright side, she did

let you kiss her.

Hey yeah, that's true.

Dude.

Jude.

And my picture's going to be

up in the store.

But only in the change rooms.

Still, how lucky am I that I

didn't eat any of those

chunklets?

I'll let you know when my

fever breaks.

Hey, Tricia, nice hat.

[Laughing]

Oh come on, Caitlin.

She's so got it coming.

I think I'll go easy on her.

Sharing the shame of the lemon

hat is humiliation enough.

My girl.

Hey, where's Nikki?

She had to open The Khaki

Barn today.

Apparently the clones went

looking for the washrooms

yesterday and have been missing

ever since.

[Gasping]

We never ever speak about

this night again, ever.

Oh, so never speaking about

it.

♪