01x15 - Stupid Over Cupid

[bunniefuu]

♪

That's it, I'll never get

through this in four days.

I'm gonna fail.

You're not going to fail.

You can do it.

Now let's try Chapter .

Uh, back it up there,

teacher's pet.

I'm still working on Chapter .

Yeah, slow down.

I told you guys you should

have started sooner.

Aw, look at them.

No one escapes the dreaded

midterms.

JULIE: Sorry.

Ooh, that's gonna leave a

mark.

Woo-hoo-hoo!

What's happenin'?

Nothing, just cramming for

exams.

Major crammage.

I hear ya.

Got my history book here and

everything.

Guys, I have a biology

question.

Do you think that new guy in our

class "likes me" likes me, or

just, you know, likes me?

Caitlin, focus.

I'm trying, but I don't

think I can concentrate until I

know.

So just go up to him and ask

him.

No way.

What if he says no?

Okay, why don't you ask him

for some help in bio?

Tell him you need a study

partner this weekend.

Ooh, that's good.

Okay, back to work.

How are we supposed to

memorise all of this?

It's impossible.

Argh, if you all just stick

with my study program, we'll

get through it.

Oh, right, yeah.

"The program."

I'm just trying to help you

guys get it together.

You wanna do well in these

exams, don't you?

[All muttering]

JUDE: Yeah.

CAITLIN: I guess.

[Groaning]

Okay, dudes, it's way too

loud in here.

I'm going to the library.

But this is supposed to be a

study group!

[Groaning]

Pressure could be getting to

him.

Argh, I think my head's gonna

explode!

Help me!

[Boy yelling]

[Crashing]

Nice.

And midterm exams claim

another victim.

♪

♪ Life begins after school

♪ That's when we bend

all the rules ♪

♪ Time to hang

with all my friends ♪

♪ We like to be together

in a place where we belong ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Starting to find my way

♪ Got a new job

♪ Gonna start at

the mall today ♪

♪ Thank God I'm on my own

for the first time ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Life is sweet

♪ When you're growing up

so fast ♪

♪ You got to make the good

times last ♪

♪

♪ I'm sixteen, sixteen

♪ Got to make the good

times last ♪

♪

Well, I give up.

If I don't know it by now, I'm

never going to know it.

We still have three days,

Jonesy.

Fine, sl*ve driver.

And while we're at it, I didn't

appreciate the : a.m. wakeup

call.

Trust me, you need the study

time.

Uh, I'm thinking of dropping

all my science courses.

But that could limit your

future choices in college.

Thanks, Mom.

Any other advice before the day

even begins?

I'm just saying.

[Slurping]

You know coffee's bad for you,

right?

Ahh!

Well, that was some good

studying.

Where are you going?

To, uh...study.

But we were all going to quiz

each other later.

Sorry, I kind of promised

this other study group that I'd

let them pick my brain.

Later.

Hope they have a small pick.

I think something's up with

Jude.

He's not nearly stressed

enough.

Yeah, better call the

paramedics.

No, really.

The whole student body is

freaking and he's all chilled

out.

Maybe he's ready for exams.

[All laughing]

NIKKI & JONESY: Yeah, right.

Well, I'm gonna find out.

No one is failing on my watch.

Okay, I think we need a

break and a change of venue.

BOTH: Totally.

But we haven't finished--

Ugh, fine.

So the answer is absolute

zero?

Yeah, how did you get that?

I have no idea.

[Whimpering]

Give me a milk, chocolate!

Whoa, you look terrible.

[Slurping]

I know.

It's too horrible to talk about.

What happened?

Okay, you know how you said I

should ask that guy if he wanted

to study with me?

Yeah?

Well, last night I couldn't

find his number so I thought I'd

just leave a note in his

mailbox.

Uh-huh...

But I chickened out, like,

times and kept circling the

block in my mom's car.

That's not so bad.

Kind of lame, but I've heard

worse.

It gets worse.

This neighbour saw me and

thought I was, like, a robber

or something.

So they called the police and...

I have a mug sh*t!

[Sobbing]

[Laughing]

Don't laugh, guys.

It's not funny.

You're right.

Ha, ha, no, you're wrong!

It's pretty funny.

Sorry.

The cops let you off, though,

right?

They cleared it all up after

Jack ID'd me at the station.

I'm a stalker.

A big, loser stalker.

Maybe I should go find him and

tell him how I really feel?

Uh, ha, I think you already

did that when you stalked him.

[Both laughing]

Did you see Jude pull that

sick McTwist?

That dude rocks.

KID: Yeah.

Wait a minute, didn't Jude

say he was going to study?

So maybe he took a break.

I think someone should talk

to him.

I'll do it.

Anything to get out of studying

math.

So, dude, wanna come by

tonight?

You know, cr*ck a few books,

order sick amounts of pizza?

My treat.

No can do, bro.

Got my study group tonight.

Oh.

That's cool.

Okay, then, have fun.

This new study group of his

must have hot chicks in it.

We have to get in on this.

This new study group of his

must be really smart.

Or he's just made some new

friends that he likes better

than us.

Okay, maybe we should just

give the guy some space.

No way!

Come on, let's find them.

Jonesy, you and Caitlin try the

arcade.

Why there?

It's a study group that wants

to pick Jude's brain.

Where did you think you'd find

them?

Good point.

You try the amusement park.

So what did you find out?

He was there playing

videogames an hour ago.

And he spent a couple hours

at the skate park yesterday.

I knew it.

He's totally ditched us.

He can't do that.

He was in our study group.

I still say it all comes down

to a babe.

[Caitlin gasping]

What are you doing?

It's him, Jack.

Police station guy.

Oh.

Go say hi to him.

Are you crazy?

He hates my guts.

He's gonna see you.

Act natural.

[Nikki yawning]

[Boys whistling nonchalantly]

Very funny.

Cut it out.

Just be really friendly and

act like it never happened.

I don't think that's a good

idea.

Trust me, go.

So everything cool now?

CAITLIN: He said that if I

don't stay away from him, his

mom thinks he should get a

restraining order.

[Caitlin sobbing]

Good advice, Jen.

Okay, guys, anyone have any

idea where Jude is?

JEN:Insane Snowboarders

just opened.

[Jen gasping]

There's Jude.

JONESY: I knew there'd be a

hottie.

What did I tell you?

Blam!

Okay, grab your disguises.

We go in on three.

On my mark, go!

JONESY: Okay, take it down a

notch, sister.

JEN: Are we gonna do this or

not?

JONESY: I don't know, captain.

Why don't you tell us?

CAITLIN: Guys, he's getting

away.

JEN: Come on!

CAITLIN: There he is.

Cool.

[All screaming]

Hey, guys.

What's up?

Jude, what are you doing at

the movies

Midterms are in three days.

Yeah, and who's the smoking

hot girl in line?

I think it's pretty obvious

our little skater boy isn't in a

study group.

Oh, yeah?

Then why do I have this history

book with me?

[Jen gasping]

JEN: A comic book!

Okay, see, the thing is I'm

kind of flunking a class.

Well, actually, a couple

classes.

Okay, all of them.

So then what are you doing

at the movies?

I figured if I'm gonna fail

anyway, I might as well have

fun doing it.

Can't argue with that logic.

Did you think of studying

harder?

Yeah, but then I thought

maybe I should just give my

brain a rest and start fresh

next year.

Why didn't you tell us?

I guess I was embarrassed.

I mean, what if I'm just not

that smart?

Not that smart?

Who was the one who found the

class hamster in fifth grade

after we'd all given up?

Yeah, and who figured out

how many hot dogs the average

guy could eat without puking?

And then videotaped it for

his science project?

Me.

How much time have you spent

studying this semester?

I don't know, maybe four

hours?

A week?

That's not bad.

Actually, I meant all

together.

Oh.

You realise that if you fail

this year, you won't graduate

with the rest of us, right?

If we help you get back on

track, do you promise to study?

You guys'd do that for me?

Of course.

We all have to graduate together

or it won't be the same.

Well, my imaginary study

group already dumped me.

Okay, I'll do it.

We are going to have to take

this.

My board?

No way, dude.

Yes, just until your grades

go up.

[Both grunting]

[All grunting]

WYATT: Let go.

[All thudding]

You just need better time

management skills.

We all have something we can

work on.

Jonesy's obsessed with girls.

True, but you never take

chances, ever.

I do so.

Name one.

Uh...

[Sighing]

I go way too crazy at sales.

I could stop teasing the

Clones.

[Jonesy clearing throat]

Okay, I'm not being

conceited, but I can't really

think of anything.

CAITLIN: Oh, yeah?

How about butting into everyone

else's business and telling us

what to do all the time?

[Gasping]

Ooh, did I just say that out

loud?

Yes.

Well, you're always giving

everyone advice and it's not

always good.

Uh, news flash: no I don't.

Um, this just in: you totally

do.

Here's the weather: nuh-uh.

Hot off the press: yeah-huh.

Oh, and breaking news: you're

bossy too.

Pictures at ...of you being

wrong.

Live from the Gigantoplex,

you're not the only people in

line here.

Oh, yeah?

Well, stay tuned, because you

all suck!

Okay, if you're right, prove

it.

It's now : .

I bet you a dollar you can't not

butt in from noon until closing.

Oh, I want a piece of this.

CAITLIN: Me too.

WYATT: I'm in.

JUDE: Giddy up.

So I get bucks if I don't

give anyone advice for the rest

of the day?

Oh, it's on.

Easy money.

♪

Okay, so we all know what

subjects we're helping Jude

with?

ALL: Yes.

And you've got seconds

until noon.

[Gulping]

Oh, and don't forget.

No distractions until after

exams.

Five, four--

That means no Simu-Mall, no

skating and no girls.

[Beeping]

Are you finished?

Yes.

Good.

Then the bet official begins

now.

Fine.

Good luck, Jude.

And when we're not on

Project Jude, I want all of your

resources devoted to making Jen

cr*ck.

Whoever gets her to lose takes

the pot.

Right.

We have six hours, people.

Oh, she's so going down.

Later, dude.

Good luck.

Okay, let's see where you're

at.

X squared over Y squared

equals...?

How long do I have to go

without my board?

Just until you're finished

midterms.

Okay, X squared--

'Cause it's calling out to

me, bro.

It's saying, "Dude, come ride

me."

[Whimpers]

Okay, Nikki, she's alone.

I'm going in.

Jen, I have to talk to you.

["Charge" fanfare playing over

PA]

Charge.

New store policy.

We have to do cheers now.

I have a new plan to get Jack

to like me.

Okay, so, so far he's only seen

one side of me.

The side that gets arrested?

I know, right?

So humiliating.

So I wrote him a love poem.

I'm going to read it to him in

front of all the guys he works

with.

Wouldn't that be sweet?

Jen?

[Muffled grunting]

Sure, you should do whatever

you wanna do.

[Grunting]

That's what I thought too.

Caitlin, your--

Huh?

Did you say something?

Mm-mm.

Okay, bye.

Wish me luck.

Ugh, Jonesy.

[Phone dialling]

NIKKI:Speak.

She's good.

Really?

How far did you go?

Oh, I went far, trust me.

So how do you think Jude's

doing without his skateboard?

Oh, I'm sure he's doing fine.

♪

Okay, dude, just give me the

skateboard and I won't push you

off the table.

Ha, ha, as if.

You wouldn't do that--

[Yelling then thudding]

Hey!

Okay, now here's a good

example.

What is the proper name for a

girl's butt muscles?

The gluteus maximus.

Hold on, I'm losing the

subject.

Uh-oh.

[Girl clearing throat]

Jerk.

If you wanted to have lunch

with me all you had to do was

ask.

The top three trading nations

in the world are...?

China, the U.S.A., and

Germany.

Bingo.

See, I think much better when

I'm skating.

[Crashing]

Oof, ugh, bummer.

"When in that moment so it

came to pass Titania waked and

straightway loved an ass."

What does that mean?

I have no idea.

Hey, isn't that a sale at your

favourite chick store?

[Gasping]

You know you want to.

Just give me a few minutes with

my tunes and I won't tell

anyone.

♪

No, Jude, we have to study.

[Whimpering]

Okay, read all the notes for Act

II by the time I get back and

I'll give it to you for half an

hour.

Deal.

Sweet.

[Grunting]

Guess what?

We've decided we're both gonna

get tattoos.

Today.

Bluffing.

♪ Bluff, bluff, bluffy bluff

Okay, so what she's saying is

she'd love him no matter what

he'd look like, get it?

Huh?

What are you doing?

You're gonna get sick.

Exactly.

That way I can miss exams.

Except I'm not sick yet.

Maybe my hair's not wet enough.

No!

Come on, I know you can do it.

But if I don't pass, I'll let

you all down.

Aw, no you won't.

I mean, please, we've all failed

a class before.

Really?

No.

But I would if it'd make you

feel better.

Come on, let's go over Act III

again.

So how did English Lit go?

Shakespeare is now my dude.

WYATT: What's up?

Hey.

Not bad, huh?

JUDE: Dude.

"I love Jason," from Dog Toy?

Dude, that isn't funny.

Are you kidding?

This is hot.

You don't think a guy wearing

this is, I don't know, stupid,

lame, totally uncool?

I love Dog Toy.

In fact, you should wear it all

the time.

Darn, she's good.

Don't you have any pride?

JONESY: Everybody, listen up!

Jonesy is going to do the

escalator!

I don't think you have the

nerve.

What, you don't think I can

do it?

You're gonna die.

[Kids laughing]

Right, that's probably true.

I'm gonna do it unless someone

tells me to stop.

He's not gonna do it.

Not even Jonesy's dumb enough to

risk his life for a bet.

Just ignore him.

Aw, who am I kidding?

This is nuts.

[Yelling]

[Crowd gasping]

[Grunting]

[Jonesy crashing]

[Moaning]

Somebody get me a hot nurse.

Gutsiest move I ever saw,

bro.

Oh, I think I broke my wrist.

Darn, she's good.

What the heck are you

wearing, dude?

Are you okay?

Yeah, I think so.

Good, because I'm late for my

psychic.

She's gonna tell me who I'm

gonna marry and what career path

I should take.

[Groaning]

JUDE: Oh, I almost forgot.

If I pass my exams, I've decided

to go skydiving...naked!

Oh.

Unh!

Why didn't I think of that

one?

Uh, what if my parachute

doesn't open?

Jude, give it up.

You're not gonna make me cr*ck.

We've picked our tattoos.

What do you think?

I just think it says me.

I think you're full of it.

And by the way, we're trying to

study here.

Don't you even wanna see

mine?

You know what?

I'll go with you for moral

support.

Great.

: at the tattoo parlour.

Fine, see you there.

So we're pulling an

all-nighter at my house Sunday

night, right?

Cool.

Are you heading to the tattoo

parlour to watch?

Jude, there will not be any

tattoos.

They're bluffing.

[Phone dialling]

[Phone ringing rock music]

Yo.

It's me.

Did you cr*ck her yet?

Nope.

You mean not even the naked

skydiving thing worked?

Uh...

Never mind, I'm on it.

Hey, guys.

This is my new boyfriend, Axe.

My psychic thinks he's the one.

[Gasping]

[Muffled screaming]

Sup, dude?

Wanna go see our friends get

tattooed?

Cool.

♪

They'll never go through with

it.

She'll never let us do it.

I mean, it's permanent.

Please.

Like they'd do this to win a

bet?

I mean, it's permanent.

As if she's let us do it just

to win a bet.

Are y'all set?

[Groaning]

So, what are you guys waiting

for?

Hmm, fine.

Who's first?

'Cause, ahem, I'm ready.

Can't wait to see it when

it's done.

[Laughing nervously]

Me neither.

I'll go first.

[Gasping]

[Needle whirring]

Jen's not cracking.

What do we do, what do we do?

Okay, here we go.

This is, uh, gonna sting a

bit.

[Gasping]

[Gasping]

[Gasping]

Stop, you'll never forgive

yourself if you get the wrong

one.

And what is with that shirt?

Not cool!

What about when you're ?

Do you want the other soccer

moms to see a big, scary bulldog

on your butt?

This guy has way too much makeup

on and I don't care what your

psychic partner thinks, he's not

the one.

Naked skydiving?

Are you insane?

And you, what are you doing

here?

You're gonna get fired, again!

[Panting]

I knew it!

I knew you couldn't keep your

mouth shut.

[Laughing]

Okay, okay, I lose the bet.

But I'm right about everything.

You're not right about me.

Jonesy, if you're here, who's

watching the toy store?

[Kids screaming]

I know, I'm fired.

I get it.

I told you so.

Is anyone getting a tattoo

today?

I am.

But Jen cracked.

Mission accomplished.

Jonesy was right, I never

take chances.

Maybe this is fate telling me

it's time to break out.

Fine, but do not get anything

too big.

It's permanent, you know.

I heard that.

♪

Hmm, well, it doesn't exactly

scream "rebel," but it is pretty

cool.

Now I trust you'll leave that

young man alone.

Yes.

I mean it.

I don't want any more trouble

out of you, lemon girl.

Okay, I said I'd stay away

from him!

Please tell me you didn't

listen to Jen again.

I just went by his store to

say sorry.

Oh, God.

I'm so stoked.

I never thought I'd be so happy

about passing exams.

I just went naked skydiving.

What a sick rush, dudes.

You gotta try it.

Give it a rest, man.

We got her, remember?

Why does everyone think I

made that one up?

Really, dude, you can stop

now.

You don't believe me?

Check it out.

♪

Yeah!

Aw, Jude.

WYATT: Nasty.

Oh!

Whoo!

♪