01x26 - Boo, Dude!

[bunniefuu]

♪

[Hissing]

[Grunting]

[Ghost laughing]

Hey, scored a gig at the

costume rental shop, so anyone

who needs a costume is all

hooked up.

For free?

No way.

I'm going to the monster movie

marathon tonight so I want to go

all out.

That's supposed to be a sick

party.

I know.

Talon's taking me.

What about you two?

Thinking of dressing up at work

this year?

Yeah right.

Clones have it all covered.

What are they going as?

Do I look like I care?

At least they're not forcing

you to wear a costume.

Halloween is Coach Halder's

favourite holiday.

Let's see it.

No way.

It's too embarrassing.

Oh come on it can't be that

bad.

Oh really?

[Laughing]

Okay, that's really bad,

dude.

I know.

You do not have to wear that.

I think...

[Snorting]

It kind of...

[Snorting]

Suits her.

[Snorting]

[Laughing]

It's not funny, guys.

Lighten up.

You make a very pretty pig.

I'm trying to break an all

time monthly sales record but

how am I supposed to be taken

seriously in this?

Maybe the big bad wolf needs

a new set of golf clubs.

Very funny.

Yo, Miss Piggy, digging the

snout, man.

This is not going to be my

day.

[Snorting, laughing]

♪

♪ Life begins after school

♪ That's when we bend

all the rules ♪

♪ Time to hang

with all my friends ♪

♪ We like to be together

in a place where we belong ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Starting to find my way

♪ Got a new job

♪ Gonna start at

the mall today ♪

♪ Thank God I'm on my own

for the first time ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Life is sweet

♪ When you're growing up

so fast ♪

♪ You got to make the good

times last ♪

♪

♪ I'm sixteen, sixteen

♪ Got to make the good times

last ♪

Caitlin.

Uh-huh?

I like your Halloween spirit.

So I'm going to let you in on a

secret.

Every year we pull a prank on

Ron the rent-a-cop.

All of you?

Oh no.

This is strictly a male

endeavour.

How long have you been doing

it?

Since our mom's said we were

too old to go trick or treating.

Should have stuck with the

candy, boys.

The last few years haven't

exactly made Ron pee his pants.

How's it hanging, officer?

Sir.

I've got my eye on you,

punks.

Glad to know we're safe and

sound.

Don't play games with me,

maggot.

Alright that's it.

He's going down.

What makes you think it will

be any different than last

year?

Because this year we are

prepared.

One hundred and one great

pranks?

Wonder if I can find a good one

for the clones.

Allow me.

[Ringing]

KRISTEN: Welcome to The Khaki

Barn.

Hello.

This is the phone company.

We will be passing hot steam

through the phone lines to clean

them.

Please tell your employees to

place all phones on the floor or

better yet, wrap them in towels

to avoid scalding themselves.

We will advise you when the wire

cleanings are complete.

KRISTEN: Oh, thanks.

No way.

They can't be dumb enough to

believe that.

Oh I don't know about that.

[Gasping]

Quick Kristen, give me your

cell phone before steam comes

out of the wires.

[Gasping]

Okay, okay.

How about toilet papering all

the trees in the mall.

Ahh but that's just what

he'll be expecting us to do.

Whoopi cushion?

Please.

We can do better than that.

Why don't you slip a store

security tag in his pocket.

That way he'll set off alarms

all over the mall and won't know

why.

Brilliant.

How did you come up with that?

We did it to a friend once as

a joke.

I'll sneak one out of Spin

This.

Sounds like a plan.

Dude's gonna be messed up.

Wait, Jonesy, I need your

advice.

It's a guy problem.

Dr. Jonesy's in the house.

Okay, I've been on three

dates with Talon and he still

hasn't kissed me.

I don't know what's wrong.

Let me guess.

You've been extra nice to him

lately.

Maybe even thrown a few hints

in?

Oh I've been hinting.

I know what your problem is.

You want him to kiss you.

And he can smell it on you.

Oh no, do I smell bad?

No I mean guys are weird.

Well, duh.

Okay, all those sports we

play.

It's because we like a

challenge.

Oh.

So just be cool.

Act like you don't care if he

ever kisses you.

That will drive him wild.

Okay, got it.

Thanks Jonesy.

Be cool.

[Sniffing]

Here he comes.

Look cool.

I know, right.

It's going to be such a kicking

party.

I am so glad you're coming out.

You have to wear that super cute

red...

[Phone ringing]

Uh, are you going to answer

that?

[Nervous laughing]

[Screaming]

Yes.

I love it when they drop like

that.

Gosh Halloween is fun.

Yeah.

He really likes Halloween.

Nice work, Sully.

Coach Halder, he's out cold.

He's just a little sissy boy.

can't take the heat.

Hey, put on your costume.

That's more like it.

[Grunting]

Boo.

Toughen up, sissy boy.

Excuse me, Mr. rent-a-cop?

I just wanted to say that we

will not be "pranking" you this

year.

So you don't like have to try

and see it coming because it

won't be.

It had better be true,

soldier.

I eat worms like you for

breakfast.

Right.

Okay then, have a good day.

Nice job.

He'll be setting off alarms

all day.

[Laughing]

I smell a big fat sale

coming.

[Screaming]

[Laughing]

Oh that's fun.

Coach Halder, I know you love

Halloween but you've got to stop

this.

You're scaring all my...

Masterson.

Where is your Halloween spirit?

This is very disconcerning.

I've got spirit.

I'm wearing this stupid pig

snout aren't I?

[Sighing]

[Alarm ringing]

Ah, fresh meat.

Ahh you have two choices.

I can hold you for questioning

or cut off your arm.

[Laughing]

Questioning by whom?

By the law.

You set my alarm off.

I am the law.

And you're breaking section

subsection B.

Improper use of gardening

tools.

Remove your facial mask.

Hmm.

Ah, the old security tag in the

pocket trick.

How original.

I've got my eye on you.

The guy's a rock.

We need a new prank.

Who is it?

JUDE: Officer Lizowski, city

police.

What do you want?

Word down at the precinct is

that you're too tough on the

young people in this mall.

Hmm, you're from the

precinct?

That's right, dude.

Then you won't mind quoting

section , subsection D of the

mall security act.

That's an easy one.

No spitting in the fountain?

Hmm.

No loitering?

Hmm.

No stealing cookies.

Ow.

No impersonating an officer.

Trick or treat.

Spinach wrap?

Ew, no.

Too healthy.

Hey, back off.

[Gasping]

Welcome to The Khaki Barn.

I'm Khaki Barn Barbie.

We're Khaki Barn Barbie too.

[Phone ringing]

[Gasping]

Nobody answer that.

You could get hurt.

They were cleaning those.

Now we're going to have dirty

phone lines.

Ooh, bummer.

You've been grazing at the

bowl all morning.

Those are for the customers.

Didn't you guys hear about

the fab new diet?

Lose pounds by eating nothing

but Halloween candy.

Really?

[Grunting]

What are you reading?

How to read a guy's body

language.

If a guy stares at your lips

f a lot it means he's thinking o

kissing you.

Okay this is stuff I can use.

[Phone ringing]

Hello?

VOICE: Come on.

Food court.

Sure see you there.

Talon wants to meet me for

frozen coffees.

Wish me luck.

Luck.

I always wanted to dress up

as a princess for Halloween.

My mom was like:

Caitlin, pick something else.

So finally one year I went as a

doctor.

But I still wore my tiara.

I know what you're thinking.

Uh, I don't think you so.

You really want to kiss me

right now, don't you.

Not really, no.

You've got some green stuff in

your teeth.

[Whimpering]

Is the rat in position?

Check.

Here he comes.

I'll have the usual.

Release the rat.

The rat is dead.

Repeat.

The rat is dead.

Abort.

Abort.

Is that all you've got,

punks?

Is it?

This day is going to be quieter

than I thought.

Well that went well.

Anyone think to check the

batteries?

Alright, that's it.

Our reputations, nay, our

very man hood is at stake here.

If we let Ron the rent-a-cop

b*at us then what are we?

Not as much of a dude as he

is?

Exactly.

Now we're going back to the

drawing board and we're going to

prank this guy good by the end

of the day if it's the last

thing we do.

[Chainsaw buzzing]

[Screaming]

Wait, don't go man.

Didn't you want to buy that

squash gear?

[Screaming]

Oh this is like a bad horror

movie.

[Screaming]

Did you see those two burn

rubber?

Ahh, smell that fear.

I love the smell of fear.

Yeah great.

Great basketballs, what's

that?

You mean the kid?

That's a kid?

Boy, what a relief.

Why?

You're scared of mice?

Uh, me?

No, heck no, are you kidding?

Then you wouldn't mind

helping that little mouse boy

out?

Alright, I'm terrified of

them.

Got one in my jock strap once

and ever since then I can't

stand them.

Filthy little critters.

I don't like them.

[Laughing]

Okay, we know Ron leaves

every night at nine pm sharp.

Right after he uses the staff

only washroom here.

So we block off every one of

the accessible washrooms in the

mall except the one we control.

The loathsome washrooms.

Next we get a whole bunch of

people to hide in the washroom

and turn out the lights.

Right.

We lure the target in to the

stall then we kick open the door

and turn on the lights...

And catch the rent-a-cop with

his pants down on film.

I have to admit I'm impressed

boys.

How do we make sure he has to

go to the bathroom?

We bring him a peace

offering.

A big one.

[Screaming]

I promise, if you come down

he will not saw your arms off

with a chainsaw.

COACH HALDER: I might.

That is it.

Okay, I know you like dressing

up as a murderous psychopath and

scaring the crap out of all your

customers but you've got to

stop.

Five-minute major, Masterson.

Move, move, move.

I can't take it anymore.

I was going to get the big bonus

this month but everyone's too

scared to shop here.

He's like this big annoying kid.

Tell me about it.

I'd love to give him a taste of

his own medicine.

That's a great idea.

Let me out of here.

But you've still got four

minutes on the clock.

Now.

Now's good.

Trick or treat.

This all candy diet is so

working.

I can already feel it in my

butt.

Where have you been?

Hiding my humiliation.

Oh, what happened?

Oh it's too embarrassing.

But I've got our big date

tonight and one more chance to

act normal.

So you're really going to

dress up?

Duh, it's a monster movie

Halloween bash.

Plus, Jonesy's hooking me up.

Right, well don't forget to

avoid the...

Hold on I see Jonesy.

I'll talk to you later.

Loathsome washrooms.

Hey, Jonesy did you get my

costume?

Here you go.

That's about as all out as they

come, sister.

Thanks.

What ya doing?

Getting ready to prank Ron.

Sweet I want to hear all the

details after.

Where's Wyatt?

He should be delivering the

goods now.

Excuse me, sir.

What now, Maggot?

I just wanted to say we're

really sorry for all the trouble

we've caused over the years.

After all you're just doing your

job.

I see.

What's that?

It's the ounce frozen

cappuccino gut buster from Grind

Me.

They don't make these for just

anybody.

Not everyone can handle it.

Hmm, a cop sure gets thirsty

walking the b*at all day.

Oh, do you like delicious

frozen coffee drinks?

Here, consider it a peace

offering from us to you.

Alright then.

As you were.

[Slurping]

That's good stuff.

Yes.

See you in about two hours.

Boo.

[Screaming]

[Laughing]

That's rich.

Ready, go.

♪

[Screaming]

[Laughing]

[Screaming]

Make it get away.

Make it get away.

It's just a toy rat.

But you should have seen your

face.

That was not funny.

You don't know what it's like to

find a rat in your jock strap.

I know you're trying to make

this a fun place to work but

maybe you should tone it down a

bit.

We've already had to call in the

paramedics twice.

Well, you could be right.

I just get such a kick out of

it.

Hey, if you really want to

scare someone, I know somebody

who's due for a good scream.

And he's not a customer.

Well, let's do it.

Get ready for me.

[Gasping]

Am I in the right theatre?

JUDE: I never knew juice

crystals made such realistic

fake blood.

Why is this puddle of blood

blue?

We don't know if alien or

werewolf blood is the same as

ours.

Who says it's not raspberry

blue?

Jonesy?

Where are you?

[Toilet flushing]

Adding the final touch.

This is an old trick I learned

at rugby camp.

You butter the toilet seat so

they slide right in to the bowl.

I am so glad I'm not an

athlete.

I'm with you, bro.

[Laughing]

I thought you said this was a

Halloween party.

[Gasping]

Oops, sorry.

I can't really control this

tail.

Oops.

Well I think it's awesome.

You do?

I was going to get dressed up

too but I was afraid you'd think

it was lame.

I love Halloween.

No way, me too.

Come on guys, it's

Halloween.

Cut lose.

We've got costumes too.

GIRL: Yay, blonde girl, shake

that feathery tail.

Great costume.

Thanks, babe.

You inspired me.

Hey, what are you supposed to be

anyway?

I don't know, some kind of

peacock girl.

Oh, wait.

I really have to pee.

You can use the ones in the

food court.

Come on.

Nine o'clock.

Everyone look alive.

Is this the part where I get

to scare somebody really bad?

This guy can take it.

Trust me.

Do your worst.

Alright, bring it on.

Oh, the girls washrooms here

are closed.

I really have to go.

The guys washroom is still

open.

I'll stand look out.

Okay.

[Door creaking]

Oh.

Ahh.

[Walking]

Ahh.

Time to die, sissy boy.

Gotcha dude.

Turn it off.

It was the wrong person.

I'm stuck.

Help me.

[Laughing]

Not you guys, the girls.

Get out.

[Grunting]

I don't get it.

If Caitlin's here, where's the

rent-a-cop?

You know, generosity in this

matter will not go unnoticed.

She's all yours.

I fell in.

[Laughing]

Not funny.

So funny.

MAN: Oh, man.

Somebody help me out.

I had so much fun last

night.

Until the incident that we will

never talk about again.

Me too.

You're really cool.

I don't have anything in my

teeth do I?

Not today.

Aww, who would have thought

that a date that ended that

badly could turn in to such a

sick little puppy dog moment.

Morning, folks.

What have you got there?

Just call it a peace

offering.

Unauthorized closing of public

washrooms.

Disturbing the peace.

And attempted drowning by toilet

of a uniformed officer while on

duty.

Okay I think some of us have

already paid for that last one.

I don't want to hear a peep

out of you lollygaggers for the

next month.

Do you understand?

Did you take care of things?

Oh, yeah.

[Laughing]

[Gasping]

[Giggling]

♪