[glass breaking]
ALICE MITCHELL (OFFSCREEN):
Henry Mitchell!
Ooh, I knew you'd
break something
hitting that ball in here.
-Honey, I didn't hit any ball.
I didn't even a ball!
-Just look what you've done!
-Heh, heh, heh.
Dennis!
-OK, Dad.
I know what you want.
But first, let me tell
you what happened.
-I can see what happened.
Now somebody is gonna
have to pay for it.
-You mean, with money?
-Well, that's
what's usually used.
-Jeepers, Dad!
I don't much to use.
-And after you pay
for glass, Dennis,
who's going to put it in?
-OK.
All right.
I'll help him.
I'll show him how.
Dennis is getting old
enough now to realize
he has to repair
his own mistakes.
-But how am I gonna
get the money?
-Work.
Did you ever hear of the term?
You'll just have to
take up cutting lawns
on a regular basis.
-Ours, maybe, for $ ?
-No, not our, maybe.
But it's our window.
-Dennis, you know I
just cut our lawn.
-OK.
I'll go to work, even if I
only am in the th grade.
-That's the spirit, son.
Maybe cutting a few lawns
will develop those muscles
that you keep
telling me to feel.
-Jeepers!
If I were to build up
my muscles too much,
the next time I throw
a ball, it might
go clean through the house!
[theme music]
-I can't get over the
fantastic boo-boos
you pulled at Bridge last night.
-Now, dear, I asked
Alice, first thing
this morning, whether
I wasn't right.
And she said I was
absolutely right.
Dear, you shouldn't let things
like this upset your rest.
You tossed all night.
-Alice is a very fine woman.
But she is not necessarily
an authority on Bridge.
I bid one club, and you gave
me a jump raise in clubs.
Now really!
-John, I don't want to argue.
-Naturally, I supposed
you held a few Tr*mp.
-Hi, Mr. Wilson.
Hi, Mrs. Wilson.
-Good morning, dear.
-Hello, Dennis.
You know you should have
held more than you did.
-John, I explained last night.
-Want you grass cut, Mr. Wilson?
-No, I don't.
-The other Mr. Wilson
let me cut it sometimes.
-Well, I own the house now.
And I don't--
-John!
About last night.
You're East and
I am West, right?
-Right.
-And I'm over here.
And my dad says I've
gotta earn some money.
-I'm sorry, Dennis.
But there are things
going on over here
that have to be
straightened out.
Eloise, for the last time--
well, I can't understand!
You're East and I'm West.
Well, I simply
couldn't believe it.
You sitting there with
one club in your hand,
waiting for me to
make a fool of myself!
-Well, I'll try somebody else.
MRS. WILSON
(OFFSCREEN): John, you
shouldn't have been
trying for a slam.
MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN): Oh,
you slammed me, all right.
MRS. WILSON (OFFSCREEN):
John, you're impossible.
-Now, Mr. Bushman used to like
a little honey in his coffee.
I used to call him
Old Sweetie Tooth.
Now when he went away,
he said to me, "Wait.
No matter how long it takes for
me to come back for you, wait."
-How long has that been, Esther?
-Well, it's been a lot
longer than he figured.
-That's the way it's
been with my beau, Elmer.
Now there was a dashing
figure of a man.
You know, I still
get all fluttery
when I think how he parted
his hair in the middle.
And when he got excited, his
little mustache would twitch.
-Well, I would trust a man
with a twitchy mustache.
[doorbell ringing]
-Oh, excuse me.
Oh, hello, Dennis.
-Hi, Miss Cathcart.
Want your grass cut?
Hi, Miss Tarbell.
-Hi, Dennis.
-My grass cut?
-Yeah, I gotta work
to earn some money.
I'll cut yours,
too, Miss Tarbell.
-Oh, I have an arrangement
with a nice gardener, Dennis.
-Yeah, I'm trying to make an
arrangement with him, too.
Why don't you cut
Mr. Wilson's lawn?
-Well, this is kind of a bad
time to bother Mr. Wilson.
He's pretty upset with Mrs.
Wilson about something.
-He's upset?
Come on in and have a cookie.
Now sit right down there.
There's your cookie.
What's he upset about?
-I don't know.
I heard him say Mrs.
Wilson was going East.
Maybe that's it.
Look, Miss Cathcart,
I'll do a really good job
cutting your grass for you.
-East?
What's she going East for?
-Maybe it's because she
had a club in her hand.
-A club?
-Did she hit him?
-Well, Mr. Wilson said
something about getting slammed.
But Mrs. Wilson
wouldn't do that.
-Of course, she wouldn't.
He's too nice a man.
-Look, Miss Cathcart, I'll even
trim around your flower bed
for you, if you let me--
-Listen, Dennis.
You can cut my lawn for $ . .
-Oh, boy!
Thanks!
-So the Wilson's are
having a bust 'em.
-Now you can't blame him.
Imagine any woman having a
man and then hitting him.
-Uh, uh.
Listen, I-- I've
got to go, dear.
I've got a million things to do.
-Yeah, so have I. But listen,
let's go past the Wilson house.
If she's been after
him with a club,
there's no telling
what's she's doing now.
Come on.
-John!
MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN):
Uh, coming.
Coming.
Eloise, since you're
going to the dress maker,
would you stop at
the luggage shop
and see if you can
have this handle fixed.
-Ah, yes.
Our old bag.
We took that with us on
our honeymoon, remember?
-Yeah.
I guess that's why I'm
sentimental about it.
-That's exactly the
way I feel about you.
-Ah!
-Even if you do think
you're so good at Bridge!
-Look!
-[gasp] Good gracious, me!
Let's get a little closer and
see if we can hear anything.
-Well, don't let 'em see us.
They might think we're snooping!
-John, I'm sorry about
our disagreement.
It'll be best.
We just won't be
partners anymore.
-Yes, I think we had
better try it that way.
-Oh, poor man.
-She even took their only car.
-Well, he's probably
getting the house.
-Only because it's too
big to put in the car.
I bet she didn't leave a crumb
for him to eat, in ice box.
-Aw, he won't go hungry.
John Wilson, is-- John Wilson
is, uh, very comfortably fixed.
-Yeah , that's what worries me.
Every eligible woman
in this town is gonna--
-What's that about every
eligible woman, Esther?
-Oh, well, never mind.
Say, I've got a lot
of things to do.
Bye.
-Bye.
[humming]
-I'm all through with
your grass, Miss Cathcart.
-Well, good for you, Dennis.
Now here's your $ . .
And how would you like to
earn another dime in advance?
-Oh, boy, that would be swell!
-OK.
Now all you have to do.
Go down to Mr. Wilson's house.
When he's not looking,
slip into his kitchen
and see what he has
in his refrigerator.
-Well, what if he sees me and
wants to know what I'm doing?
-Under no circumstances are you
to let him know who sent you.
This a secret
between you and me.
-Oh, boy!
Thanks very much, Miss Cathcart.
I'll be back soon.
-OK.
Now I'm not here, I'll
be in the dress shop,
or in the beauty
parlor on the corner.
-OK.
Miss Cathcart.
-OK.
(SINGING) Honeymoon, uh,
keep a-shining in June.
Your silvery beams will
bring love's dreams,
we'll be cuddling soon.
Hello, beauty shop?
This is Esther Cathcart.
Can you work me in?
-Miss Cathcart?
It's been so long since
we've seen you here,
I thought something
happened to you.
-Well, something's
gonna happen, kiddo!
Listen, I want a permanent, a
tint, a facial, and a manicure.
And what have you got
in your bag of tricks?
-That sounds quite important.
What day would you
like to come in?
-What day?
Are you kidding?
I'm ready now.
This is an emergency!
-Well, we could work
you in around, uh, : ?
-I'll be there at : .
(SINGING) Honeymoon,
a-keep a-shining in June.
A-doo, doo, doo, doo.
Ha!
-Well, Dennis,
what are you doing?
Stalking an Indian?
-Oh, uh, hi, Mr. Wilson.
-Where were you
headed, young man?
-Um, to your kitchen.
-What for?
-To get a drink of water.
-Oh.
Oh, well, you can get a
drink of water from the hose.
There.
-Well, uh, wouldn't the
water in your refrigerator
be a lot colder?
-Well, I broke the refrigerator
water bottle, this morning.
So go ahead.
-How about if I just looked
at your refrigerator?
-Ah, hungry, eh?
Ha, ha.
Pretty sneaky, my boy.
Well, I can tell you
right now, there's
nothing in the
refrigerator but two onions
and a crust of bread.
-Is that all?
-That's about the size of it.
-Boy, it's hardly worth
a dime to find that out.
See ya around, Mr. Wilson.
-Good afternoon, Mrs. Drum.
-Oh, Miss Tarbell.
What can I do for you?
-Well, uh, have you heard
about the Wilsons breaking up?
-Oh, yes.
And isn't it a pity?
-Just awful!
I get so depressed when I hear
a terrible thing like that.
And the only thing
that boops me up
is to go out and buy
a new dress, and all.
So what have you got that's
kind of eye-catching?
-Well, I think I
have just the thing.
Esther Cathcart simply drooled
over this little this number,
but I didn't have her size.
-I'll take it.
-Oh, she's in the dressing
room, now, Miss Tarbell.
-(SINGING) Doo, doo, da-doo,
doo, da-doo, doo, doo.
-Don't tell her I'm here.
--[gasp] Oh, there you
are, Miss Cathcart.
Now I think that outfit
is simply stunning on you.
-What I like about it
is, it puts the accent
where it ought to be,
instead of where it is.
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN):
Hey, Miss Cathcart.
I got the dope you
wanted on Mr. Wilson.
-Uh, Dennis, I know
about Mr. Wilson.
Mrs. Drum and I were
just discussing it.
-Such a pity.
I just can't get over it.
-You mean, you already
found out that he
has two onions and a crust
of bread in his refrigerator?
-Dennis, I just don't want to
hear anything that personal.
-Well, then why did you
pay me a dime to find out?
-Dennis!
Just a moment Mrs. Drum.
I told you this is
our secret, didn't I?
-Yeah, but you just said
you talked to Mrs. Drum.
-All right.
All right.
How would you like
to earn another dime?
-You got another job for me?
-Sure.
Now find out from
Mr. Wilson which
he likes best, cherry
pie or lemon meringue.
But don't let him know
that I want to know.
-Oh, I see!
You're having a surprise
party for good ole Mr. Wil--
-Shh!
Listen, I'll be at
the beauty parlor.
-OK.
Goodbye.
-I'll take this, Mrs. Drum.
-Oh, fine.
I'll help you.
-Oh, hi, Miss Tarbell.
What are you're doing in there?
-Just browsing.
Now listen, when
you see Mr. Wilson,
don't let on that I
asked, but find out
how he likes his chicken cooked.
-Oh, you're joining
the party, too, huh?
-Yes!
And I'm gonna be
the first one there.
Come back to my
house and tell me.
And here's a quarter
for your trouble.
-Boy, if this detective
work keeps up,
I'm gonna be a millionaire
before I'm a teenager.
[knocking]
-Come in.
-Hi, Mr. Wilson.
Boy, am I busy today.
-Yeah.
So am I. What's on your mind?
-Well, I've been thinking
about things to eat, like food.
-No!
Not again.
-Mr. Wilson, if you had your
choice, which would you take,
a squishy cherry pie or
a gooshy lemon meringue?
-Dennis, when you speak of
cherry pie and lemon meringue
pie, you get me, right here.
I'd say it was a toss up.
-You like both the same, huh?
-In fact, if you
did toss 'em up,
I'd eat 'em both
before they came down.
-Good.
Now how do you
like your chicken?
-Well-- Dennis, are you
going to cook my dinner?
-Heck no!
I just wondered how you
like your chicken fixed.
-Well, there's nothing
like fried chicken.
Fried to a crisp,
juicy, golden brown.
I remember when I was
a boy, my mother used
to have chicken every Sunday.
Ah, you don't get fried
chicken like that anymore.
It used to melt in your mouth.
And those mashed potatoes,
covered with gravy!
Dennis, you're
making. me so hungry--
Guess he doesn't like chicken.
-Oh, hello, Catherine.
-Why, Mrs. Wilson.
Imagine seeing you.
-Well, I know I didn't
have an appointment.
But I simply forgot it.
Now the weekend's on me.
Look, could you
possibly sandwich me in,
just long enough to
shape me in back?
-Of course, if you don't
mind waiting a bit.
I'll just slip you
into this first booth
until Sybil is free.
-While I'm waiting,
I'll amuse myself.
-I, uh, uh, I just
can't tell you
how sorry I am to hear all
those stories going around
about you, Mrs. Wilson.
But you won't have to
amuse yourself long,
after you get to Reno.
I hear it's quite lively.
-Well, why would I got to Reno?
-You mean you aren't?
-Oh!
Certainly not.
Who told you I
was going to Reno?
-Oh, well, it's-- it's just
one of those things one
hears around a place like this.
It was probably some
other Mrs. Wilson.
Uh, will you excusee me?
-Oh, hello, Mrs. Simms.
Won't you make
yourself comfortable?
Claire will take you
in a few minutes.
-Oh thank you.
I'm afraid I'm just a
little bit early, anyhow.
[clunking]
-Oh, hello, Miss Cathcart.
My, It looks like you've
shopped the works.
-I haven't even
started yet, honey.
Ha, ha, ha.
Oh, hi, Mabel.
How have you been?
-Oh, fine, I guess.
-Uh, why don't you
two chat for a sec?
Diane will be
ready for you soon.
-Well, Diane to open
up all of her magic.
I want one of those new
sheik Cleopatra hairdos.
You know, where she's
eating the grapes.
-I'll tell her.
-Good.
Say, Mabel, you
heard the big news?
-What's that?
Eloise Wilson is leaving that
wonderful husband of hers.
MABEL (OFFSCREEN):
You don't mean it?
-So help me.
I saw her go, suitcase and all.
She took the car.
All she left him to
eat was some onions
and a stale crust of bread.
[gasp]
MABEL (OFFSCREEN): Really?
-And I have it on good
authority that she
swung on him with a club!
[gasp]
-Eloise must have had
some good reason for that.
-Not the slightest.
John Wilson is a
perfect gentleman.
-Well, I always did like him.
ESTHER (OFFSCREEN):
Oh, he's a doll!
And that poor dear
man, of course,
is going to need someone
to help you get over it,
so he won't get soured
on life, you know,
or anything like that.
-Yes.
[sigh]
-As you say, he's
such a handsome man.
-Well, he's years
younger than Eloise.
MABEL (OFFSCREEN):
I always thought
that she was rather
well preserved.
-So is a petrified mummy.
Ha, ha, ha.
But you know,
looking back on it,
I know just how it happened.
She was taking her
husband for granted,
and she let herself go.
It's a shame.
So many women make that mistake.
But John Wilson, oh,
he's a great guy.
You know, chesty, shoulders out
to here, then he slims down.
Well, chesty.
[sigh] What a man!
-Will take you now, Mrs. Simms.
-Oh, well, nice
seeing you, Esther
-Nice talking to you, too Mabel.
Don't let on I said a word.
-I'm back, Miss Cathcart.
-Oh, what did you find out?
Hurry up, while there's
no one here to hear.
-Well, Mr. Wilson
says it's a toss up
between cherry pie
and lemon meringue.
He's keen for both of 'em.
Am I gonna get to
come to his party?
-Well, it's kind of a
private party, Dennis.
Here's your dime.
-You couldn't make
it quarter, could ya?
-A quarter?
-That's what Miss
Tarbell gave me
for finding out how
he likes his chicken.
-Well, wouldn't that fry ya?
-Hey, that's how
he likes it, fried.
Bye, Miss Cathcart.
-Now then, Mrs. Wilson,
what you want is a trim.
-No, I-- first, I'd like to
ask you a question, Katherine.
How many years have
you been married?
-About years.
-Do you think that women our age
take our husbands for granted?
-Well, I haven't given
it very-- I suppose.
Although, we don't like
to admit it, we do.
-Now I'll answer your question.
No.
I do not want a trim.
I want everything you have.
That is, if you
have time for it.
-Everything?
-The works.
Just get me out of here
before the dress shops close.
-That's the way to do it.
Very neatly done.
-Well, I guess that about
finishes it, huh, Dad?
-And you made the
money to pay for it,
and you fulfilled
your obligation.
That's the best part of it.
I guess you'll be a
little more careful
about breaking windows now.
It's expensive.
-OK, Dad.
I'll remember.
-Here, you take the rest of
the putty back into the garage,
and you can go out and play
until we're ready for supper.
-Boy, what a day I've had.
And I've still got $ . left.
-Well, cutting lawns is
good, healthy exercise,
and profitable, too.
-Yeah.
But a detective
makes more money.
[doorbell ringing]
-Oh, coming!
Coming!
-Mr. Wilson!
I have a little
surprise for you.
-Miss Tarbell, how--
how nice of you.
Uh, won't you come in?
-Oh!
-Eloise isn't here
at the moment.
-Oh, you don't have to explain.
I fixed a big platter
of fried chicken.
And I thought we might
share dinner together.
-Oh?
-Why don't I put it in
the oven to keep warm?
That is, if you don't mind
my, sort of, taking over,
under the circumstances?
-What circumstances?
-Oh, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
-You were right about
making Dennis earn the money
to pay for the window, dear.
-Well, you can be sure
It won't happen again.
Breaking windows is just
a result of carelessness.
Hey, look at that!
-You were saying
about carelessness?
-I'll pay for it, honey.
But look at that!
-Ooh!
-Isn't that Esther Cathcart?
-Looks like a poor
man's Cleopatra, to me.
Miss Tarbell just went in there
a few minutes ago, all done up,
too.
What's going on over
at the Wilson's?
Is somebody sick?
-John, dear.
I had pies in both
hands, so I had
push the doorbell with my foot.
Working on all
cylinders, eh, beau?
-I-- I don't quite
understand why you're here.
-Well, you know the
old saying, ours not
to wonder why, ours but
to do or die trying.
Sweets to the sweet.
-Well, Esther Cathcart, we
didn't expect to see you.
But how nice of you
to bring desert.
-Didn't expect to find
to here, either, honey.
Would you mind taking these out
to the kitchen on your way out?
-You take care of
your pies, dear.
I have to look after John.
-Would you ladies kindly
explain what this is at about?
-You've had a hard
day, John, dear.
You ought to relax.
-I am relaxed.
Please!
Let go of my--
-And sitting there in
that tight collar and tie.
Here, let me loosen this.
-What is this?
Some kind of a joke?
-I was never more
serious in my life!
I want you to be comfortable.
-I am comfortable!
-Now let's slip out of this
coat, you poor, neglected man.
You're not used to
being fussed over.
[doorbell ringing]
-Am I intruding?
-Oh, no!
Not another one!
There are two women here
already, who had-- Eloise?
Eloise!
Well, but look at you!
-Mrs. Wilson!
-We thought you flew the coop.
-I?
Why should I?
When I found out we were
having fried chicken and cherry
and lemon meringue pie, well--
-Yeah, there's just one
thing I want to know.
What is this all about?
All right .
Which one is going
to talk first?
-You know, honey,
I can't get over
how great Mrs.
Wilson looked when
she came home-- if
it was Mrs. Wilson.
-But if they're
having a party, I
can't understand why we
didn't know about it.
-Dennis!
Dennis Mitchell!
-Oh, hi, John.
You want something?
-Yes, I want to
know why Dennis said
Eloise was chasing
me with a club!
-Dennis!
-Oh!
[doorbell ringing]
-Now young man, you just march
right up to Mr. and Mrs. Wilson
and apologize to them.
-OK, Dad.
-They're very angry with
you for what you did.
And we don't want to
lose their friendship.
-Heck no!
Gosh!
-Dennis!
All the Mitchells, come on in.
Come on in.
Eloise, we have company.
-Wonderful!
-Mr. Wilson, I want
to apologize for--
-Apologize?
Forget it, my boy.
Forget it.
You are just in
time, all of you,
to share some fried
chicken and cherry pie.
-Unless you prefer
lemon meringue.
-Oh, boy!
That would be neat!
-You two look simply elegant.
-Yes, doesn't she?
-Well it's-- it's
sort of an occasion.
-It is an occasion.
You might say, we're celebrating
a-- a second honeymoon.
-Well that's nice,
isn't it, dear?
-I think it's lovely.
-Mr. Wilson, I'm sure glad
you're not mad at me anymore.
-So am I. Now how
about that pie?
-Swell!
-All of you, go on in.
-All of you, go on in.
Go on in.
Make yourselves at home.
Now which do you like,
cherry or lemon meringue?
-Well, it's like you said,
Mr. Wilson, it's a toss up!
I'll take some of both!
[theme music]
04x02 - You Go Your Way
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Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.