02x41 - Losing Your Lemon

[bunniefuu]

:

JUDE: What a fine day here on the reef.

It sure would rock to have a finned friend to frolic with.

STAR: Hi, small blue and scaly.

Do you cruise here often?

JUDE: Well I will now that I'm digging your dorsal.

HIRO: You two do not belong here! You must leave this place!

JUDE: It is the evil w*rlord,

the destroyer of mellowness!

HIRO: I am not Evil w*rlord! I am owner!

If you do not buy sushi, you do not play with fish t*nk!

Now leave!

(Diners booing)

DINERS: More Fish t*nk Theatre! More Fish t*nk Theatre!

DINERS: Red Fish! Blue Fish!

Red Fish! Blue Fish! Okay, you can stay.

but from now on I am "benevolent emperor",

not evil w*rlord.

DINERS: More Fish t*nk Theatre!

(Cheering)

MAN: Encore!

♪

♪ Life begins after school

♪ That's when we bend all the rules ♪

♪ Time to hang with all my friends ♪

♪ We like to be together

♪ In a place where we belong

♪ I'm

♪ Starting to find my way

♪ Got a new job

♪ Going to start at the mall today ♪

♪ Thank God I'm on my own for the first time ♪

♪ I'm , life is sweet

♪ When you're growing up so fast ♪

♪ You got to make the good times last ♪

♪

♪ I'm , I'm

♪ Got to make the good times last ♪

Can we get on with this?

I like being late for work to be my idea.

But Jen's not here!

My news is too big for her to miss!

This better be good.

'Cause I've got a whole mall of babes to scope.

(Panting) Sorry I'm late.

Coach Halder--

psycho--

stopwatch--

need lemon whip,

stat!

(Jen slurping)

Ah.

Enjoy it, because it's my last one!

Huh?

(Gasping)

Is that what I think it is?

Yes!

I got my credit card back!

(Sniffling) I can shop again.

I thought your dad took your card away when you maxed it out.

He did, but as of yesterday's paycheque, I paid him back.

Wow, good for you!

Are you sure going shopping with a credit card in your purse

is such a good idea?

Don't worry, I'm just going to buy a little

celebratory t*nk top and maybe a pair of flip flops.

No biggie!

JEN/JONESY/NIKKI/JUDE/WYATT: Uh oh.

Don't worry!

I've learned my lesson.

(Thudding)

Hey! Where are you going? I'm leaving.

But who's going to work the Squeeze?

Katie starts today.

She's super nice.

I don't think she knows about the hat yet.

Whoa. It's going to be really weird not seeing you here

all the time.

I'll still be at the mall, silly!

I just won't be working here.

Okay.

So, see you at lunch?

Oh, I wish I could but

there's a totally secret sample sale on at Von Ditch.

The line-up will take hours.

Gotta run!

We might want to have a little chat with that girl.

What if we just tie her up?

We've got to find her.

What if she doesn't listen to us?

Then we set her up

with a month's worth of dates with Wayne.

Ew!

(Giggling and snorting)

Sweet new gig, Jonesy.

This info booth is in a seriously high-traffic area.

Given the law of averages,

I should hook up with tons of chicks.

So you're cool with the whole single thing again?

I mean, Nikki and you just--

Please!



Nikki was a phase.

The Jonesmeister is too much guy to be dating one chick.

Yeah, but you two seemed so happy.

Jude, I'm a free agent again.

What could make me more happy than that?

I've got my pick of the babe litter!

JULIE: Hey boys.

(Gasping)

(Horking and coughing)

I mean, just look at you and Freaky Vegan Chick.

Star? JONESY: Right.

Whether you know it or not, she's got you on a short leash.

Does not.

Next thing you know she'll be re-painting your board

to match her nails.

(Jude's phone ringing)

I gotta go. Star's waiting for me.

(Barking)

Come, Jude, good boy!

Bite me.

Excuse me, could you direct me to the Penalty Box?

Wait! Watch this.

Go down this corridor, take the stairs to the second floor,

do a full circuit of that level,

turn left and come down the stairs again,

do a circuit counter-clockwise,

and it's the last store on your right.

You can't miss it.

Remember to keep hydrated!

Dude, the Penalty Box is right there.

JONESY: Yeah, but it's so much more fun to make them work for it.index: ,…}:

(Laughing) Sweet.

Later dude.

But I thought we were going to...

...hang out.

There she is. Caitlin!

Hi, guys! Aw!

You've come to see me christen my credit card.

That is so sweet.

Are you sure you can handle this?

Last time you had plastic,

it almost landed you in debtor's prison.

They abolished those ages ago.

I checked.

Caitlin, you could get into big trouble.

So that's why you came over here.

I just spent a year wearing a lemon on my head

to make up for the money I spent, remember?

Give me a little credit.

Okay, okay.

Maybe we were out of line.

Sorry.

But promise me you'll only buy one thing here today?

Okay, I promise.

Great. I have to go to work.

Me too.

See you guys at break.

Right. Bye!

Now don't you let them upset you.

They're just jealous.

TRICIA: Caitlin!

There you are!

Who me?

Come on!

Just pretend you're with us.

But-- You remember Gwen and Mandy.

Yeah. Hi.

So, word is that you quit your loser job

at the Big Snooze.

Squeeze.

Whatever.

This is my favourite sale of the entire year.

Check it out, Jeremy got us these coupons for an extra

% off. Here!

Um.

I thought you hated me.

Okay, maybe I've been a bit of a cow,

but that doesn't mean we can't still be friends.

Heh. Okay. Friends!

Great.

And I've got the skinny on three other secret sales today!

(Shrieking)

Okay, two at a time.

Time to get your shop on!

Okay. But I'm only buying one thing.

Only one thing per store, right?

Oh, right!

(Giggling)

(Gasping and laughing)

♪

(Cash register dinging)

♪

(Laughing)

♪

(Slurping)

(Laughing)

♪

Nikki, I feel so badly about not trusting Caitlin.

COACH HALDER: All right!

Masterson! Is that a personal call?



Uh, no.

And why are your sales so low today?

Uh, it's a slow day?

Nonsense! The mall is hopping!

Just look at those girls there!

They look like shopping MVPs.

(Gasping)

(Gasping)

Ha, well that's funny, I thought there were two of them.

(Growling)

Just wait 'til I get my hands on her!

That's the spirit, Masterson!

Drag the customers in if you have to!

Atta girl!

Excuse me? What are all those bags?

Wait! Before you say anything,

they're all really small and on sale.

It only adds up to one big purchase!

That's it. You're cut off.

You made me a promise!

(Whimpering)

I promised I'd buy only one thing from that sale.

I didn't say anything about the other stores.

Hand it over.

It's for your own good, Caitlin.

There, that should hold you.

I'm worried about Caitlin.

Me too.

It's time for an intervention.

For what? For shopping.

She's out of control with her credit card again.

Um. No can do.

We'd have to hand in our guy badges if we did that.

What are guy badges?

Can't tell you, you're not a guy.

Gee, it's such a drag we don't get to be guys.

(Sighing)

Wyatt, can you cover for me at Underground?

Star and I have a sushi rendezvous.

Sure. Anything for the love birds.

Catch you guys later.

You'd better watch your hours hanging with Star,

you just might lose your guy badge.

Whoa.

Thanks for such a rocking evening, Princess,

I sure had fun.

STAR: Me too noble peasant boy of difficult circumstances

that are like, totally not his fault.

HIRO: Princess!

That ruffian blue fish from the wrong side of reef

is not good enough for you!

JUDE: It's your step-father, the evil Emperor!

(Diners booing)

HIRO: No!

I am Benevolent Emperor as agreed earlier!

Okay, you buy the lemonades

and we'll listen to this intervention plan.

What the--

WYATT: What's wrong with this picture?

JUDE: Whoa.

Why are people who are not us sitting at our table?

Caitlin always saved our table!

I can't believe this.

Oh no, no, no, no, no.

Hi. Heh-heh.

I think there's been some kind of mistake.

This is our table.

Really? 'Cause I don't see your name on it.

Mine is.

I carved it with a plastic spoon.

It took weeks.

How sad. We're still not moving.

But I can fix this booboo for your little friend.

(Marker squeaking)

There.

Now it says "Tricia." All fixed.

Hey! That's public property!

Everyone sign their name,

just until I can get nameplates made.

Print it, Josh. I'm not sure these losers can read cursive.

(Gasping)

Same deal, Wendell.

Nice and big, okay, Vicky?

(Snickering)

(Marker squeaking, Jonesy screaming)

And, anyway you want, Smithy.

There. All done. Bye-bye.

Look, you are leaving and that--

Stop annoying my customers, or I'll call mall security.

Heh. You don't need to do that.

This is our table now.

Pick another one, or leave.

Let's just take another table.

Nice hat.

(Laughing)

♪

(Buttons beeping, register buzzing)

Ah!

(Buttons beeping, register buzzing)

Grr!



COACH HALDER: Can I help you, miss?

Oh yes, one of your employees is keeping my credit card,

er... warm for me in here.

And now I need it. She said she'd be right back,

but I've been waiting and waiting.

I apologize on behalf of that soon to be ex-employee!

(Buttons beeping)

Here you go!

Thanks. Oh, I'm sure she just forgot.

Please say thanks for me.

JEN: Oh, you can thank me yourself.

Hand it over.

(Caitlin screaming)

(Panting)

(Thudding)

(Girls grunting)

Ow! Let go!

Caitlin! I own it!

No! It owns you!

Ha! No way!

(Caitlin shrieking)

That's an illegal hold Masterson, no hair pulling!

(Girls shrieking)

Nice manoeuver!

Caitlin!

(Caitlin farting) Ah!

One, two, three.

Pinned! Winner! Nice!

Yes! (Cackling)

(Whistle blowing)

minute penalty for wrestling with a customer.

Plus two minutes for losing.

(Muzak playing)

(Shouting) This sucks.

What? The Muzak or the fact that we had to get crappy drinks

from 'That's Just Grape'?

Take your pick.

(Laughing)

The thing is that we are trying to help

Caitlin help herself and-- Ow!

b*at it you little creep or I'll--

Section , no loitering or terrorizing children.

Now!

Caitlin has to be told first and foremost that we care about her.index: ,…}:

Sorry to interrupt.

Everyone comfy? You bet.

I'm good. I could use a pillow.

Yeah?

Would you like the same one I'm going to suffocate

Wyatt and Jude with when I fire them?

(Spitting)

(Screaming)

(Muzak blaring)

Ah! I can't think here with all that racket!

I'm gonna drown it out.

(Strumming)

(Wendell strumming)

(Strumming)

(Both strumming)

(Playing complicated riff)

(Playing complicated riff)

(Strings snapping)

(Groaning)

Okay, that was humiliating.

These people have got to go!

(Tapping)

(Sighing)

Where've you been, Jude?

You've missed like, hot chicks.

Not interested, bro.

Oh, what? So you think Star's "the one" now?

Could be.

Don't let her get to you man, it only ends in pain.

Trust me. (Sighing)

There is more than one fish in the sea, you know.

You have no idea what you're missing out on!

(Caitlin laughing)

Okay. That skirt is adorable.

Oh, I know, right?

NIKKI: Caitlin!

Hi.

Oh. Hi, Nikki.

A credit card?

Wasn't this rejected the last time you tried to use it here?

Oh, it's fine now. There's lots of room on it.

(Card beeping)

So, we missed you at break time.

Where were you?

Oh, we had a few hard core sales we just couldn't miss,

right, Cait?

Shut it, shoppy. I was talking to her.

Uh. I'm out of here.

Later, Cait.

Congrats, this card is clean.

I'll take that.

Hey!

Go.

Shoo!

(Girls shrieking)

(Register beeping)



What are you doing? Reversing the charge.

What? Why?

Because you're returning this skirt.

No, I'm not! It's the last one!

Come on. We're taking a walk.

Can I have my card back now?

NIKKI: No!

What's going on? What is this?

(Bell dinging)

Uh-- Dude!

Can't you see we're having an intervention here!

(Gasping) An intervention?

Caitlin, your shopping is out of control.

We're all worried about you.

Come on guys, I'm fine!

And guess who little miss "I'm fine"

was shopping with at the Khaki Barn?

Tricia.

(Gasping) Caitlin!

What were you thinking?

Yeah. She's like your sworn enemy.

I don't know how it happened, okay?

It all became a big blur after Trish got me that

Albatross and Finch staff discount!

Yeah, and now that chick and her crew have h*jacked our lemon.

She what?

They autographed the table and everything.

(Bell dinging)

Excuse me. In a minute.

Aw, I can't believe this.

Believe it sister.

She never even mentioned it!

Wow.

I had no idea my shopping affected so many people.

But nobody pushes my tribe around and gets away with it.

Let's go toss her out!

We've tried. I've got a plan.

How many minutes do you think you have left

before you get fired?

Well, I haven't exactly been throwing myself into this gig.

I'd say maybe ?

(Bell dinging)

WOMAN: Am I ever going to get served?

Make that .

Great! Stand by!

Katie, you don't really like wearing that lemon hat do you?

Why do you ask?

'Cause I can score you a job with a chair,

a booth and a raise.

And no hat?

Totally hatless.

I'm so there!

(Phone dialing)

JONESY: Hello.

Katie is on her way, Jonesy.

(Phone beeping)

(Sighing)

(Giggling)

Nice! Way to go, Caitlin.

Ew. What's with the hat?

Your daddy cancel your cards again?

CAITLIN: No.

I'm cancelling them myself.

I have some real friends who noticed I was out of control.

(Sarcastically) Oh. Lucky you.

You and I are so over as friends.

I'm in charge of the Squeeze again

and you are going to have to move your butt.

And your friends' butts.

We aren't going anywhere.

Oh, but I think you are.

Unless you want me to sit and stare at you all

for the rest of your supposedly natural life.

Oh yeah?

You think you can out vacant stare us?

You're on.

(Snapping) Josh

Trust me, dude,

I can stare into space for a long, long time.

You are so going down, board boy.

Whatever.

Oh.

Whoever blinks first vamooses.

Deal?

Deal.

TRICIA: Get him, Josh.

♪

(Both groaning)

BOTH: Oh!

Yes! Come on!

(Josh farting)

(Gasping)

(Grunting and farting)

Ew!

(Both farting and grunting)

(Thudding)

(Gasping

He blinked! Now get out!

He did not!

(Thudding)



He did now!

Cheater!

(All gasping, lemons thudding)

(Shouting)

(Cheering and laughing)

All right!

That is some arm you've got there!

I wish Star was here to see that.

She loves a good fruit beaning.

Where is she?

I broke up with her.

ALL: What? Why did you do that?

Because you told me to.

NIKKI/JEN/WYATT/CAITLIN: Jonesy!

What? No I didn't!

You told me she would repaint my board, chain me up,

humiliate me, and break my heart.

I was kidding, Jude!

Don't you care about Star?

Oh yeah!

She's like the rockingest chick I ever met.

Star is amazing.

You're one of the luckiest guys around, Jude.

Don't you get that?

I do now, dude!

Later!

Where are you going?

I bet I know where.

STAR: I suppose it is better to have loved a blue fish

than not to have loved a fish at all.

DINERS: Aw.

JUDE: I know there are a lot of finned fellas in the ocean, Princess,index: ,…}:

but I only have bulgy eyes for you.

Can you find it in your scaly heart to forgive

a Jerk Fish like me?

DINERS: Aw!

(Hiro sniffling)

I love a happy ending.

CAITLIN: Five welcome back lemon whips, on the house.

(Slurping)

(Wyatt coughing)

What's this?

Oh. Sorry!

I must have left a credit card shard in the blender.

I finally destroyed daddy's card.

Way to go, Caitlin.

So, what did you do with it all?

I took most of it back and what I couldn't,

I donated to charity.

Nice work, kiddo.

Yeah. Turns out I'm pretty good at

shopping in reverse, too.

To Caitlin.

ALL: To Caitlin!

♪