03x67 - Insert Name Here

[bunniefuu]

[ ♪ ]


Does my breath stink?


And she said I couldn't handle the extra hot peppers.


Dude, I think you broke Nikki.


Time for a comatose makeover!


I'm back... unfortunately.


[ WYATT SIGHS ]


Flowers and candy?


[MAKES BULL WHIP SOUND] Somebody's whipped!


I wish.


After what happened last night,


I'll be lucky if I still have a relationship.


Gory details? Go!


Last night Marlowe and I were at the movies,


watching some chick flick,


and I asked Serena to pass the popcorn.


Serena?


As in your ex-girlfriend Serena?!


That would be the one.


Ooh.


Awful.


Terrible.


That kind of dating faux pas


requires splurging for the good stuff...


roses and Belgian chocolates.


Marlowe! WAIT!!


I'm so sorry for last night.


I even wrote you a poem!


"Marlowe, you're amazing...


"better than the glutes on a ballerina,


"that dope -foot yacht at the MARINA,


"or the high-def jumbotron at the ARENA."


You couldn't even write me my own rhyming poem?


Ballerina? Marina? Arena?!


All things that rhyme with Serena?!


Did NOT see that one coming.


[ ♪♪♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


♪ LIFE BEGINS AFTER SCHOOL ♪


♪ THAT'S WHEN WE BEND ALL THE RULES ♪


♪ TIME TO HANG WITH ALL MY FRIENDS ♪


♪ WE LIKE TO BE TOGETHER


♪ IN A PLACE WHERE WE BELONG! ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, STARTING TO FIND MY WAY ♪


♪ GOT A NEW JOB, GONNA START AT THE MALL TODAY ♪


♪ THANK GOD I'M ON MY OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME ♪


[ ♪ ]


♪ I'M TEEN, LIFE IS SWEET ♪


♪ WHEN YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST ♪


♪ YOU GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


♪ I'M TEEN...


♪ I'M TEEN... ♪ TEEN...


[ ♪ ]


♪ GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


Maybe a special lemon whip would say


"I'm sorry for calling you Serena again, Marlowe."


Hmmm... nope!


I need help!


It's not like I still have feelings for Serena.


So why do I keep doing it?!


Wyatt, you're being too hard on yourself.


You're a great guy, and you didn't mean to hurt Marlowe.


Twice.


Thanks. Sorry. Just being honest.


Just explain it to Marlowe and I'm sure she'll understand.


Yeah, you're right.


It's worth a try. Thanks!


SWEET!


Who would just abandon such a sweet set of wheels in the mall?


I think they used it for that promo


for that Speed Demon sports drink.


Let's take her out for a test drive!


Can't, no engine.


Car's just a prop.


More than one way to test drive...


[ SMOOCHING SOUNDS ]


JUDEOh Cindy, you're revving my engine.


The poor guy's lonely.


A sweet ride like this shouldn't go to waste!


I can rent it out as a make-out car and charge admission.


Sweet!


Ok, umm...


Sorry to rain on your parade,


but who's gonna pay good money


to sit in some old sports car and make out?


You were saying?


Can this idiot surrender?


Only if you promise not to drop any more Serena bombs on me.


I'm so sorry, Marlowe.


You are my girlfriend, and I wouldn't have it any other way.


That is, if you'll take this dummy back?


Okay, I forgive you.


Again. On one condition...


Anything!


We never mention the name Serena again.


Hey, Wyatt.


Hi Serena.



That doesn't count, right?!


I'll let it go this time.


You're officially the best girlfriend ever!


See you later, Sarlowe.


I can explain!


Y'know when you're extra sensitive about saying the wrong thing


so your brain makes you say the wrong thing again and again


even though you don't mean it?


Okay, well, I'll catch up with you later, Marena.


I mean Selarlowe!


I mean Marlowe.


Bye!


Man. What is my damage?


Whoa.


Wait!


Beautiful skating dudette!


Come back!


Whoa.


Practice will have to wait, Claudette.


Allez!


You can go too.


Since when do you coach figure skating, Coach?


Allez!


No idea what that means, dude,


but can you introduce me to Claudette?


Au-dessus de mon corps mort! Idiot!


Okay. Catch ya later, Coach.


Those smooching couples are blocking us


from selling things to our valued customers!


So we'll sell a few less tube tops?


The world will be a better place.


Tube tops DO make the world a better place.


Hello... saggage?


Our tube tops come with a built-in shelf bra!


Hopeless. Utterly hopeless.


[BUZZER] Okay, time's up!


Time to let someone else make out.


Whoa, whoa. Patience people!


The Jonesmeister is here to help you fulfill


your make-out dreams!


Uh, hey Nikki. How much did you hear?


Everything.


I can explain.


They don't get to make out with ME, see,


just in my car.


You're always taking people for a ride, aren't you?


Naw, the car's just a prop!


Care for a free turn? I get off work at five.


Don't touch me.


I got your veggie burger with extra pickles


just the way you like it,


half onion rings and half fries


and a delicious caramel sundae with nuts!


That's really sweet, Wyatt, but I'm not hungry.


We need to talk.


'We need to talk'?


Wait. Are you breaking up with me?


Wyatt, you're a really nice guy...


Not 'you're a really nice guy'!


What's next? 'It's not you, it's me'?!


No, it's definitely you.


You obviously still have feelings for Serena


and until you work through them,


I can't be the wrongly named third wheel.


Goodbye, Wyatt.


Ohhhhh.


Is that an 'I'm still into Serena' moan?


Or a 'my head is smooshed into a plate of fries' moan?


Judging from the pitch and timbre,


I'd have to say it's a


'Marlowe broke up with me' moan.


You're good.


Thanks!


I'm sorry, Wyatt.


You so didn't deserve to be dumped.


Even if you DID call Marlowe


Sarlowe, Marena, and Selarlowe!


Aaaah!


You need to do a Serena purge.


I once new this guy who was pretty sure


he was the second cousin of an Aboriginal Shaman.


Or was it third?


Caitlin? The point.


Right.


Well, he said in order to get over someone


you have to get rid of everything that's ever belonged to them.


Then their spirit is free to wander the Earth


and get the heck out of your life!


A Serena purge?


And this will stop me from ever saying her name again?


Oh, definitely.


Let's do it!


Okay, but you have to hand yourself over to me?


Body and belongings!


Sure. How bad can it be?


Nooo! Not Serena's number!


What if I need to call her for some unspecific reason?


Don't fight the purge, Wyatt!


There, Serena's number is officially deleted.


I can get out of this any time I want, y'know!



Any time?


You're freakishly strong for someone so small!


[ HE STRUGGLES ]


[ SIREN BLASTS ]


This mall isn't big enough for you, me


and all these kissing couples.


No law against showing a little affection in public.


Actually, there is.


You're in violation of Public Displays of Affection Awareness month.


I'm taking you in!


No! Not my customers!


Aww, man.


Just when I was starting to make some real coin.


Don't let Ron spoil the love.


Bro doesn't own the mall.


Ya! If anyone knows all the best make-out spots in the mall, it's me.


I can sell secret mall make-out maps instead!


You know all the secret make-out spots?


Got something in mind, dude?


I met the figure skating Claudette dudette


of my dreams today!


But the Coach won't let me talk to her.


He's keeping us apart!


Like some kind of...


y'know, that movie where the lovers are kept apart?


Romeo and Juliet?


Nah, that's not it.


Who was in the Fast and the Furious?


As the inspiration behind Jonesy's new mall make-out maps,


I'm gonna tell you a little ice rink secret


even Coach doesn't know about.


You know ice rink secrets?


So you and Claudette can have some alone time,


if you get my drift.


Awesome!


There's a small hole


in the back of locker number three...


[ WYATT STRUGGLING] Ugh, c'mon!


But it's my favourite t-shirt!


Serena gave it to you!


Now, hand it over!


ARGHHHH!!


Hey, how's it going?


Sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do.


You said it!


Fight the power, girlfriend!


Please tell me we're done.


Soon as you clean up this mess,


your Serena purge is complete.


And all it cost me was favourite shirt, CDs,


my journal...


oh, and my dignity.


Don't you feel any better?


Y'know, I do.


I feel... lighter!


That's the power of the purge!


I'm gonna go home and shower, then head to Marlowe's.


I should look my best when I grovel.


Not so fast...


But you just said we were done!


The purge is over,


but you still have the final very important stage to complete.


Tell me it's not some kind of


Aboriginal wolf wrestling ceremony.


I'm a little worn out.


Close.


You have to come face to face with Serena one last time.


What?! I can't do that!


You have to.


How is seeking out my Ex going to help me forget her name?


Because you have to look Serena in the eyes


and make sure you have absolutely no feelings left for her.


The guy who was the cousin of the possible Shaman wouldn't lie!


If you're over Serena there's nothing to be afraid of.


But Serena was my first girlfriend!


What if I NEVER get over her?!


[ ♪ ]


CAITLINYummy Mummy.


Lonely, mid- s.


Has one son, Stanley,


who often subs for a real man in her life.


Nerdy guy, male, early s,


still lives with his mother.


I'm only !


And how exactly is this going to help us find Serena?


You have to make it look like you ran into Serena accidentally.


Otherwise, she might think we've been stalking her.


But we HAVE been stalking her!


There she is! Go, go, go!


And remember, don't be too obvious!


Whoa, hottie alert!


Ahem. Oh. Hi there.


Hmm, this looks good.


Country music?! Ahhhhh!


Hey, Wyatt.


I'll be with you in a sec.


[ CELL PHONE ]


Yo, Wyatt here?


Hey, Wyatt. Marlowe!


I'm so glad you called.



I was just thinking about --


Wyatt, we just got a great shipment of CDs in from England.


I think you'll really like them!


Wyatt, are you with Serena?


Yes, but it's not what you --


Just bring my stuff back! Tonight!


Marlowe! Don't hang --


Hello?


Marlowe wants her stuff back... tonight.


Wyatt, wait!


♪ Back straight, head held high ♪


♪ tushie tight if you want to fly ♪


Nailed that axel! Yeah!


I feel good.


Hahahaha!


Nice threads, dude!


What? Who's there?


Ha! Coach is a closet figure skater!


Salut. Ca va?


Sorry, bra. Don't speak angel.


Aimes-tu faire le patinage artistique?


I love art!


I Mainly make sculptures out of meat.


Tu es drôle.


You have real pretty hair --


GAHHH! Gotcha!


There's a place for pervs like you!


You weirdo.


Where?


You'll find out.


When?


Kinda spoiling the dramatic tension here.


Sorry.


Ugh, gross!


That's my secret change room!


The one I hide in when I'm trying to get away from you people!


Jonesy said it was a great place to make out.


Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.


["GERMAN" WOMAN] Jah, I'd like to buy map too if you please?


A hot Swedish chick?! Awes --


Uh, hey there, Nikki. How much do you know?


Everything.


You sold me out to the Clones!


Ow! Oww! I can explain!


Thanks to your stupid make-out map


I no longer have a place to hide!


How many of these make-out places have you tried?


Now probably wouldn't be the best time to brag, huh?


UGH! Gross!


Does it really matter?


My lips picked you! Nikki?!


[ GASP FOR AIR ]


You gotta let me out, man!


I need to tell Claudette how I feeeel...


If I have my way, you'll get life!


I really like Claudette.


Kinda like how you really like figure skating.


I could've been great!


I could stick handle my way through a triple Salchow!


I had one sharp inside edge.


If it weren't for my dad...


"No son of mine is going to prance around the ice!"


Gah!


So hurtful.


Parents can be harsh.


I'll let you out


if you promise to keep this our little secret.


Sure thing, Coach.


If you hook me up with Claudette.


The ice rink, nine sharp?


See you then. Awesome.


I can close the rink, y'know?


Give you a little private ice time, if you want?


You and Claudette are in for the show of your lives.


You sure you're okay?


It's over. Marlowe wants her stuff back.


No, Wyatt!


You can't give up so easily!


Caitlin, nothing about these last two days has been easy.


Chad used to go to my old school


and I think I can set up a fake double date.


That way, you can face Serena once and for all


and I'll be there for moral support.


You'd do that for me?


You really are the best friend ever!


Correction.


Tonight I'm the best GIRLFRIEND ever.


Thanks for putting the storage room on your make-out maps.


I've been finding couples in there all day!


I'm surrounded by smooching, paying customers


and I can't enjoy it without Nikki.


That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard you say.


Yeah, well, don't get used to it.


Jonesy, look around.


Half the mall is in love, and it's all thanks to you!


Throw some of that Nikki's way,


and she'll be powerless to resist.


Y'know what, Sis? You're right.


Y'know what, Bro? You've never called me 'Sis' before.


Oh, man! I've gone totally soft!



Your secret's safe with me.


Blue's my favourite snow flavour.


How do you say it in French?


Bleu. Yeah, blue.


Bleu. Oh, I get it.


Blue is blue.


French is totally easy!


[ CLASSICAL MUSIC ]


La show's about to la start...


[ ♪ ]


Nikki, there's a customer stuck in one of the change rooms!


So?


So we can't get him out!


We need your help!


He's stuck in the last one!


Of course, he is.


Jonesy!?


We fixed it... Yaaaay!


Eeeep!


What are you...


Flowers?


[MAKES BULL WHIP SOUND] Somebody's whipped!


I guess somebody is.


Can't say I wasn't surprised by the invite, Caitlin.


I had no idea you and Wyatt were dating.


It's still very new, but we're very um, happy!


What are you going to have, pooky? Pooky?


Chad and I were thinking of splitting the spicy tuna rolls?


That's Marlowe's favourite.


The funniest thing happened at work today.


This guy came in looking for Barenaked Fat Guys, and Chad --


Marlowe and I went to their concert last month.


We laughed all night.


How can you keep talking about your ex


when your beautiful new girlfriend is sitting right here?


You think I'm beautiful? Thanks!


C'mon, Chad! Let's go.


I'm sorry that didn't go better, Wyatt.


Are you kidding? That went great!


I was face to face with Serena,


and all I could think about was Marlowe.


Yay! The purge worked!


AHEM!


Oh hey, Marlowe.


No, wait! I can explain!


This isn't what it looks like!


[ ♪ ]


Masterson! You're working overtime this weekend.


Sure thing, Coach.


If you pay me time and a half?


A-ha! HA!... Masterson!


That's a good one!


♪ Back straight, head held high ♪


♪ tushie tight if you want to fly ♪


Where'd you hear that?


All right, so, next week, time and a half.


No problem. Love ya.


Sounds good to me.


Glad to see you two made up.


Yeah, and all I had to do


was give up the make-out car, the make-out maps,


and grovel.


Ain't life grand.


[ BIG SIGH ]


Hey, what's with the long face?


Claudette landed the gig


as the Snow Cone in the Ice Cream Forest.


Ice Capades.


I totally support chicks following their capade dreams,


but I'm gonna miss -- ARGHH!


I thought we had an agreement?


I'm sorry! I'm no good at keeping secrets!


Ask anyone!


Awful. Terrible.


Grrrrr!


[ ♪ ]


♪ I wrote this song


♪ To let you know how I feel ♪


♪ I got your name wrong


♪ But ohhh, I got you right... ♪


♪ Yeah I got you right...


Aww!


Boy, that would make a great song for my figure skat --


Uh, never mind.


As you were.


Boy is it warm in here or what?


Holy jimminy.


[ ♪ ]