03x72 - The One with the Cold Sore

[bunniefuu]

[ ♪ ]


WYATTHey, you guys hear they're sh**ting a movie in the mall?index , start ,…}


Coo-ol.


Yeah, they're sh**ting at the Penalty Box


and holding auditions for extras at Grind Me!


Hey, Caitlin, you hear the news?


Caitlin?


NIKKICaitlin, what's up?


Oh, I just feel a yawn coming on,


and I want to be ready.


Caitlin, move your hand!


I have a lip thingy! Wahhhhhh...


It's just a cold sore.


It's a lip thingy! Waaaahhh!


Hmm, could be a lip zit.


I once had a zit on my back that had a life of its own.


One morning it was gone.


And so was a pair of my shoes.


It's not a cold sore,


and it is NOT a lip zit!


It is a LIP - THINGY.


NIKKIDon't you get those from kissing?


Ugh, I got it from a boy, okay?


But I'm not saying who.


I've had it with guys.


I'm done with them.


I really thought he was the one.


He was the one. The one who gave you a cold sore.


LIP THINGY!


[ ♪♪♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


♪ LIFE BEGINS AFTER SCHOOL ♪


♪ THAT'S WHEN WE BEND ALL THE RULES ♪


♪ TIME TO HANG WITH ALL MY FRIENDS ♪


♪ WE LIKE TO BE TOGETHER


♪ IN A PLACE WHERE WE BELONG! ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, STARTING TO FIND MY WAY ♪


♪ GOT A NEW JOB, GONNA START AT THE MALL TODAY ♪


♪ THANK GOD I'M ON MY OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, LIFE IS SWEET ♪


♪ WHEN YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST ♪


♪ YOU GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


♪ I'M TEEN


♪ I'M TEEN ♪ TEEN


♪ GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


I don't know for sure that the zit took my shoes,


but it's pretty weird, dudes.


Hey Caitlin, you got a lip thingy.


See? Lip thingy!


Thank you, Jonesy.


Yeah, o-kayyy.


So anyway, big news!


Yeah, they're sh**ting a movie.


And they're auditioning at Grind Me.


NIKKIAre you going to audition?


Of course. I was born for this.


I'm gonna be a star.


Anyone else want to try out?


I'd love to.


But I'm gonna need some industrial-strength cover-up first.


I want a coffee. I need Java.


I'm cravin' Nice Cinnibuns. Let's go.


If you're coming for moral support, I don't need it.


I'm coming to watch you make a fool of yourself.


That's not very supportive.


Ron and I are movie set security.


If you're here to audition move to the back of the line.


Lindsay what?!


Checked into a hospital for exhaustion?


She'll never work in this town again!


SOTTO VOCETell her to call me.


I have the perfect part for her in an upcoming project.


We need to fill the Natalie role.


Any acting experience?


I played Goldilocks in the fourth grade.


WEIRD ENGLISH ACCENTThis porridge is too hot.


Omigosh. That was so good!


I could, like, smell the porridge.


Don't! That's way too many calories!


Can you smell calories, or do you have to eat them?


Don't be silly! Anything you smell you can eat.


Oh no! Am I fatter?


Non-speaking parts ONLY.


NEXT!


Wowza! Hot cobbee!


Burnbed my lips.


b*rned her lips. Rookie mistake.


[ TIMER BEEPS ]


Hah!


I'm late. See you guys laber.


Ahhh!


Full lips, rosy cheeks, flowing hair...


Like a young Jessica Alba.


Can we get Jessica Alba? No? Okay!


You're going to be a huge star!


Be? A huge spar?


Ooh, trouble with the English language...



but that is so hot in Hollywood these days.


We've got our Lindsay replacement!


Ron Hughes, director.


You just landed yourself a supporting role. Opay!!


Wait, what about me?


Cute... shame about the cold sore.


Lip thingy...


Dude, glad you dig my step-sister,


but you're gonna LOOOVE me.


No, thanks. Next.


But... Nexxxxxxxxt!


Ow!


Hey Jonesy, do you want...


You've got a part.


What?!


Me? Really?


You're in too.


Oh, come on!


I would say no, but...


So long, Solo.


This is way too much fun.


Let go of me! You little --


Wow, you've got nine lines.


You're gonna be a star, Jen!


Nine lines won't make you a star.


[ RAGING GIGGLES ]


Hi, Jen.


Congrats on being ...famous!


Yeah, totally, like... hi!


We just wanted to say that. 'Hi!'


Uh, hi?


She said hi to us!


Eeeeeeee!


You were saying?


That hot coffee b*rned my throat.


I need to get some lozenges.


You can't run your own errands, Jen.


You're an actress, you should get an assistant.


Jonesy can do it!


You'd get to be on set.


It's the perfect way to get noticed.


Hey, yeah... What do you say, Jen?


Oh... okay.


But screw up, Jonesy, and you're fired.


Story of my life.


So can you get me some lozenges and meet me on set?


You know it.


I've got a wardrobe fitting!


Eeee!


We should check in with the extras.


See you later?


Yeah, bye.


[ SAD GROAN ]


Still bummed about your lip zit?


As someone once said,


don't let a zit get you down, bra.


Who said that?


Well, I did... just now.


Maybe I need some retail therapy.


I'm gonna cheer you up Jude-style.


Thanks, Jonesy.


I'm going into wardrobe


so, uh, take a break!


Gee. Thanks.


Hey, there's Caitlin.


She's with someone...


I thought she swore off guys!


Well, that lasted a whole half-hour.


Jude, Huntington's is having a sale.


Where are we going?


You'll see, bra.


[ GASPS! ]


AHHH!


MASTERSON, you look like a Bantam player


crammed into a Peewee uniform


drop and give me twenty!


But, Coach...


[ SIGH ]


Bad idea...


let's go find the rest of that uniform!


Tell your bodyguard to clear set.


Let's get ready to roll!


Bodyguard?! Oh, all right, I can do that.


You, non-descript male, eyes down!


five-minute foul for major misconduct!


We're at my fave-orite store, dudette.


[ HORRIFIED GASP! ]


The cheap-o bin!?


Jude, the dollar store has nothing for someone like me...


Look at all the stuff I got for six bucks!


A porcelain rooster!


An ice cube tray.


Whatever this thing is!


A DVD of a show I've never even heard of.


Who knew spending so little money on stuff you don't need


could be so fun!


What'd you get?


A ghost costume.


And a rubber band.


But it's not Halloween.



They have them here all year...


except Halloween.


You ready for more Jude therapy?


Soon as I drop off my bags.


Jonesy, could you get me a lemon whip?


Fine. Whatever.


There's Caitlin again.


Who's the ghost?


Caitlin's new man.


I thought she swore off guys!


Hiiii, guys!


Whoever he is,


Caitlin seems a lot happier than she was this morning.


[ CAITLIN GIGGLES ]


'Superstar' wants a lemon whip.


And one for me while you're at it.


So how's it going over there?


Being an assistant stinks.


And that director has no eye for talent.


Thanks. See you.


Later.


Where to next, Jude?


Move to LA... mountains, sunshine,


plastic surgery for pets.


Sounds amazing. I'd love to!


Oh, Phoenix, this is my assistant, Jonesy.


Gah!


This is WAY too bitter.


Don't look at me. Caitlin made it.


Whoa, don't let your assistant talk to you like that.


Actually, I'm her step --


My... uh, stepping stone to a better assistant


who doesn't talk so much!


I want it sweeter,


and, uh, get it right this time!


Good help is so hard to find.


Tell me about it!


I don't know, Jude. This thing makes me puke.


Today is about running through hurdles, bra.


I thought you're supposed to jump OVER hurdles.


Over, through, under,


whatever it takes to get past 'em.


Fear is nothing to be afraid of


unless you let it scare you, dudette.


[ CELL PHONE ]


Nikki?


Hey, whatcha doing? I can't hear you!


So how's the no boys thing going?


Oh I'm so nervous.


I don't want to go too fast.


[ CAITLIN SCREECHES ]


Caitlin? You there?


Is she still crying about her cold sore?


Weeeeeee...


[ EVERYONE SCREAMS ]


Whoohooo!


[ CAITLIN'S SCREECHING SOUNDS SUGGESTIVE ]


Uh, I don't think Caitlin's crying.


[ CAITLIN GIGGLES ]


Whoo-whoo! Yeah!


Oops.


Omigosh, that was amazing.


Let's do it again!


What was that?


Okay people!


In this scene, you've just learned


that Spring Break has been cancelled.


So look shocked.


Ohh! LOVE it!


Everyone copy these two.


Annnd ACTION!


Caitlin?


Great.


Now I have to make their drinks myself.


GIRLThree lemon whips, please.


Hey, I don't work here!


I'm just trying to fix a drink


for Jen Masterson, superstar,


because this one was too bitter.


Jen Masterson drank from that cup?


I'll give you ten bucks for it.


You can't be serious.


Fifteen...


twenty's all I got! Sold.


Eeeeeee!


Spread the word!


I've got TONS of Jen Masterson's stuff!


When opportunity knocks make sweet, sweet lemonade.


Annnd... Cut!


That's a wrap for the day, people.


Helen, get me a B sh*t before I plotz.


So it sounds like Caitlin is falling fast for this new guy.


I definitely think my next project


will be more of an Indie.


Those are the films that win all the awards.


That's what I keep telling my agent!


Argh, agents. Don't get me started.


Wow, Jen's really getting into this acting thing.


[ CHEERS ]


Hi!



You! Out of the way!


You'll be crushed. Follow me into the end zone, Masterson!


Out of the way! Out of the way!


Whoa.


I guess Jen really is a star.


All the world's a stage and we're just extras.


Why do they call the blue one raspberry?


It should be blueberry.


Nope, definitely raspberry.


Gotta pee! Be right back...


Look at her, messy hair, smeared make-up.


She's been making out!


Is this our mystery man?


Nope, just Jude.


Thanks so much for today, Jude.


I'm having the best time.


Me too, dudette.


Plenty more where that came from.


Let's bounce.


Could Caitlin's new guy be...


JUDE?!


[ ♪ ]


Have you been here all night?


Since six a.m.


And that's after Jen made me do her laundry last night


so she could part-ay with Phoenix and the other act-ors.


What's in the bag? Jen's stuff.


Clothes. Toothbrush.


A few baby pictures.


You won't believe what people are willing to pay for this stuff


now that she's famous.


Gotta go! Her majesty awaits.


You know, if Caitlin and Jude were dating, they'd tell us.


You're right.


It was just a kiss on the cheek.


Hi, guys! Hey, dudes.


Hey, Jude, is that a cold sore?


A lip zit.


I ate too much junk food at the amusement park yesterday.


You seem happier today.


Yeah, I guess I am!


Could it have something to do with a certain... guy?


Has anyone seen one of Jen's pink socks?


No. Why?


I've got a buyer for the pair,


but I can only find one in the bag!


I must've dropped it...


So, Caitlin...


and she's gone.


Here's a schedule and a list of things to do.


I don't pay you to stand around, Jonesy.


You don't PAY ME at all.


In fact...


I am a professional who aspires to exceed my employer's expectations.


I'll memorize this list


and be ready when you call me to action!


JEN! JEN, I LOVE YOU! JEN! JEN!


Any of you girls interested in buying


an official pair of Jen Masterson socks?


If Jude and Caitlin are dating it's gonna change things.


First, you and Jonesy, now Caitlin and Jude...


That leaves me and Jen.


Can you see them together?


I mean, Caitlin shops for sport and...


Jude throws wet toilet paper at the ceiling in the loathsome washroom.


See, that is so NOT Caitlin!


You're up. Focus.


Stay on target.


Sweet.


Our work here is done.


[GIGGLE] So where to next?


I never knew you played with the animals, Jude.


That's so nice!


The rabbit thinks so.


Even if they are dating,


I'm sure they're taking it slow.


Hey, guys! Look at our BABY bunny!


Isn't he sweet?


Okay, come with mommy and daddy...


"Mommy and daddy"?


We'd better tell Jen and Jonesy.


Would you sign this for me?


Where did you get this!?


Uh-oh!


[ CELL PHONE ]


Hello?


We've got to talk.


We think Jude and Caitlin are dating.


What?! Come to the fountain. I'm signing autographs.


Signing autographs?


Well, la-di-dah.


[ GASPS! ]


Back of the line, star-gazers.


We're not fans. We're friends!


Time's up, autograph session's over.


Oh! Where's she going now?


Jen Masterson's phone.


Jonesy? Why do you have Jen's phone?


'Cause some actor told Jen that cell phones cause brain tumors


and Jen said better me than her.



bucks for the yearbook,


there's good stuff in there!


We think Jude and Caitlin are DATING! No way!


for the pillow case, drool and all.


We gotta talk. Where'd she go?


Khaki Barn.


Meet you there in five.


Come out when you're ready


and we'll tell you how super hot you look,


no matter what!


I love having the store to myself.


Being a celebrity shopper rocks!


Uh, the store's closed, Nikki!


We have a celebrity shopper.


Uh, I WORK here, Kirsten.


And that celebrity is my best friend.


Nikki?


Jen, we think Jude and Caitlin are dating!


What?! Whoaa!


Whoa! Seen it.


Female undergarments! Oh my goodness.


Oops. Sorry! Are you sure?


Jude's got a cold sore! They got a baby rabbit.


We saw them kiss. He was the one in the ghost costume!


Okay! Okay! What do we do?


Um, nothing? It isn't really up to us.


I can't believe I'm saying this but...


I think Jonesy's right.


Do they know that we know? Uhn-uh.


Then we'd better tell them.


Mmmm.


Quite nice, ice cream girl.


Uh, I don't know.


I think we should try the mint chocolate chip.


Are you going to buy any ice cream or not?!


Oh, no thanks.


We're full.


DIRECTORAnnnnd... CUT!


That's a wrap. Break set.


Love your work, people!


Phoenix, if I moved to LA do you think --


Great working with you, later.


That's it? Later?


Hey, that's my shirt!


And my hat!


They're ours, we bought them.


From who?!


UH! JONESY!!


Whatcha need now?


All right, who bought stuff from this scammer?


I want it back right now!


Whatever it is, hand it over.


Ewww. My retainer?!


You don't need it anymore. Your teeth look great!


You are the lowest, dirtiest --


Oh, come on!


You have been a total diva for the last two days.


You've yelled at me for everything I've done wrong


and not once thanked me for a thing I did right.


Puttin' on a show for all your Hollywood friends.


You may be in a movie,


but when you get home you'll find you have no socks!


Wow. Great monologue. Real drama.


You should've auditioned for the movie.


You totally would've gotten a part.


All that ice cream made me feel sick.


Yeah, but at least it made you sick for free.


[ FART ]


Sorry. Dairy makes me gassy.


[ FARTS ]


[LAUGHS] Jude stop it!


[ SHE FARTS ]


Oops. Pistachio makes me gassy too.


[ THE BOTH KEEP FARTING ]


Oh, I guess the movie sh**t's over!


Hi, guys!


Hey.


We just want to tell you that we know what's going on here.


[ SNIFFS ]


Is it bad? Sorry.


It's not bad at all.


Whatever you guys need to do is cool with us.


Totally.


Jonesy and I heard too.


All the way over at the Penalty Box?


It's been kinda hard to miss.


Whoa, dudes.


I must be lactose intolerant.


We want you to know that we're here to listen...


whenever you're ready.


If you say so...


[ THEY BOTH FART ]


Ew!


Hm, that went well.


I can't believe you guys thought


Jude and I were dating!


For shame, dudes.


I was taking a break from boys.


Though I had a date last night,


and I'm seeing him again today!



Eeee!


I guess we had it all wrong.


I had it wrong too. Sorry I got so bossy.


Boy, is fame fickle!


Sorry about your stuff.


Here, treat yourself to some new socks.


Caitlin, I'm gonna have to cancel our date tonight.


Too bad.


I really thought he was the one.


He was the one.


The one you gave a cold sore to.


Lip thingy!


[ ♪ ]