03x80 - Life Slaver

[bunniefuu]

[ WHEEZING ]


I'll give you half-price on a scientific calculator


and throw in a protractor for free!


And what would I do with a scientific calculator?


Calculate complex second-order,


non-linear ordinary differential equations.


Ahhh!


Or not!


I can't believe that little cami I love finally went on sale.


It was like cami-karma.


Hottie alert, two o'clock.


Somebody's been working out.


Ye-ah, doing bicep curls with Darth!


He's gonna drop him!


Hey there, cutie-patootie.


Hey there, yourself.


I'm Jack. Wanna grab a bite...


maybe make-out in the photo booth?


Um, no thanks.


What, why not?


For starters, bullying is so not cool.


Plus, you're wearing socks with your sandals.


Ew-w!


Poor Darth.


I can't believe what a jerk that guy was!


I know, some people think they can get away with m*rder.


I mean, please, it's either cold enough for socks,


or warm enough for sandals.


Never both!


[ ♪♪♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


♪ LIFE BEGINS AFTER SCHOOL ♪


♪ THAT'S WHEN WE BEND ALL THE RULES ♪


♪ TIME TO HANG WITH ALL MY FRIENDS ♪


♪ WE LIKE TO BE TOGETHER


♪ IN A PLACE WHERE WE BELONG! ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, STARTING TO FIND MY WAY ♪


♪ GOT A NEW JOB, GONNA START AT THE MALL TODAY ♪


♪ THANK GOD I'M ON MY OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, LIFE IS SWEET ♪


♪ WHEN YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST ♪


♪ YOU GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


♪ I'M TEEN...


♪ I'M TEEN... ♪ TEEN


♪ GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


Hey, Darth.


Changed your pants yet?


We heard what happened.


Don't be embarrassed, dude.


Even the Vader would've pooped his cape.


You okay, Darth?


Affirmative. Thank you for asking.


Caitlin, I am here to inform you


that as you saved me from certain death,


I am now your humble servant.


Aw, it was no biggie.


But it was.


And as a valiant Jedi knight,


I am now at your service.


I'd really rather not make a big deal out of this, okay.


I'm afraid that is not possible.


I will not leave your side until my debt has been repaid.


Arghhh.


Don't worry, you won't even notice I'm here.


I promise!


[AHEM] Caitlin, incoming hottie.


Hey.


Greetings, Hottie.


May I interest you in a citrus fruit beverage


to quench your thirst


and soothe your olfactory senses?


Wait, come back!


How long did you say you have to be my loyal protector?


Until I have successfully averted your death.


[GROAN!]


Didn't your parents get you that laptop


to help you score better grades in school?


Uh huh.


And how's that working for you?


Wicked.


My scores for online Doom Squadron have, like, tripled.


Hey, can I check my email?


My snowboarding coach is announcing our new team captain,


a.k.a., moi.


Hmm. Confident much?


Anything?


Just mass emails. Delete.


Delete.


Deeeelete.


You don't even read them?


Why would I?


This one says I have to forward it to people


or suffer bad luck forever.


Delete.


Whoa, shouldn't you do what the email says?


I don't have addresses and wouldn't forward it if I did.


People who send those things are annoying.



I do.


I rest my case.


Besides, you can't get bad luck from an email.


OW... Darn!


You sure about that, bra?


Uh huh. I'm also sure I'm late for work.


-Catch ya later. --Bye.


See ya.


JENOww!


There goes disaster.


Darth, you cannot come into the washroom with me!


But % of accidents in the home occur in the -- Stay!


Be careful in there!


Hey, Darth, care to join me for a bite?


I've got some fresh ground beef with your name on it.


No can do. I'm waiting for someone.


You're waiting for a girl?


But I'm your girlfriend.


A fact I am aware of, my little taco,


but my Jedi forces are needed elsewhere.


Oh... But...


Fine!


There's gotta be another way out of here.


JONESY'S VOICEDid you know that people fart up to like times a day?


JUDE'S VOICEDude, I'm at like !


[FART!] Twenty-three!


Jonesy, Jude? Is that you?


JUDEI think it's the ghost of Caitlin!


Darth must've failed to protect her!


I'm fine, Jude. I mean, I need help!


Darth is waiting for me outside the washroom.


JONESYWe saw him.


You gotta admit the guy is dedicated.


That little Jedi-master is totally cramping my style.


JONESYJust let Darth save your life and he'll leave you alone.


How? We're in the mall.


JUDEI have near death experiences here all the time, bra.


JONESYBut you'll probably have to fake yours.


You're the best. Thanks, guys!


[ COMMOTION IN THE VENT ]


Whhhaaaa! Oooof!


Thought I'd drop in for a visit.


Dude, I found something in the air vent...


Ahem. The sign on the door says 'women'.


You can't believe everything you read, little dude.


It is safe to proceed.


Ooof!


What's with you?


That girl stole my boyfriend.


So knock her off. Pow!


Okay. Can I borrow your ball-launcher?


It's on, sister!


Jonesy thinks if I pretend to let Darth save me


he'll leave me alone.


What are you gonna do, throw yourself down the stairs?


Oooh, good one!


Uh, maybe you should start with something less painful.


Just slip and fall or something. Thanks, Wyatt. Bye!


Here, Darth, you must be thirsty.


Oops! Better wipe that up.


Darth, save me!


Step away from my man!


Owwww...


Darth!


I'm sorry.


Close enough!


Now, what do we have here?


Those are seriously old videos, bro.


Which were hidden in an air vent.


Anything hidden is worth finding, dude.


It's treasure.


Everything hidden is not treasure.


Jen hides her zits under make-up.


I hide my overwhelming sense of insecurity


behind heavily laden sarcasm.


Ha! Suckers.


Looks like old store security tapes.


Quite a treasure, Jude.


Quite a treasure.


I'm watching 'em, dudes.


Yeah... the only thing more boring than hanging with the two of you,


is hanging with the two of you while watching that.


See ya.


I'm gonna jet too, buddy. See ya.


You get her this time.


POW!


Well, I guess we'll sit and eat.


Caitlin, wait!


Oww!


Darth, you've failed me again.


I'll save you next time. Promise!


Oh, I smell trouble, all right.


Dude, are you seriously watching those?


And... Wayne?!


What?


The kid in this video rocks.


He's pulled some of the best pranks of the late th century.


JONESYKid's got spunk, all right.


Reminds me of, well, me.


Jude, can I check my email again?



Whoa, what happened, bra?


You get the license plate?


Coach Halder gave me a five-minute penalty for being late.


Then I slammed my hand in the penalty box door,


slipped on a pile of golf balls,


skinned my knee,


and got another five-minute foul.


I guess somebody's wishing she forwarded a certain email this morning.


Yes, I am having the worst day ever,


but not because of some dumb email!


Yes! And the new captain of the girl's snowboarding team is...


Cathy Woods?!


Bummer, bra.


That stinks.


Did you see that?


The dude just rigged a fire hose to the water fountain!


Classic! Nice!


Ahhhh! Ow!


Not my fault. It was the email.


I've got a bunch of addresses I can send you.


I've got on my customer mailing list.


I'll give you those if you get me another .


[SIGH] Deal.


Darth keeps messing up, Wyatt.


There's got to be another way to ditch him.


We do it MY way this time.


Whoooa!


Saaave me, Darth!


I can't get wet!


I have a recurring ear infection


and need my water wings and nose plug!


Worst Jedi EVER!


Well, what do we have here?


You're mine, Ta-co.


[ ♪ ]


What happened, Jen?


I deleted a forward I was supposed to send to people


or suffer bad luck forever.


Bummer.


Tell me about it.


How's it going with Darth?


I think I need a new strategy.


Why is Darth still with that floozie?


I think I need a new strategy.


If you can't b*at 'er join 'er!


I can be a damsel in distress too!


Jonesy here.


I've tried everything, but Darth still hasn't saved me.


Caitlin, you know, you didn't actually SAVE Darth's life.


He just would've been maimed, not k*lled.


Really? Heck, yes.


So Darth just needs to help you out.


And you need to make his life suck so bad he quits.


Make him knit you socks or something.


Thanks, Jonesy. You're a genius!


Tell me about it. Later.


I can't believe you guys are still watching that garbage.


Hey, wasn't today your first day at Boots and Bags?


You got a job at Boots and Bags?!


[ HEARTY LAUGH ]


First shift doesn't start till one.


Yeah. It's .


What?! Aw, man. I am so fired!


So I didn't save your life.


It was only the second floor.


Agreed.


But I owe you a debt of gratitude.


What can I do for you?


You can knit me socks.


And when you're done that you can scrub down the lemon,


reply to my emails and organize my make-up.


A Jedi's work is never done!


Win a dream vacation!


Don't forget your email address.


What's up? You get another job?


I'm collecting addresses so that I can forward that awful email.


Well, whatever you do, don't forward it to me.


Ha! As if.


Crap.


You might like to know I made you a 'My Face' page.


You had so many pictures I posted them online.


I listed your favorite stores...


Daaarth!


Your favorite magazines. What's your favorite colour?


Oooh, um... teal!


Oh, Daaaaarrth!


Teal, it is.


Whoaaaa! Darth, save me!


Ohhh! Eeee!


Ahhhhh!


Oof!


I think I broke my taco.


Oooh Darth, you're the best!


It's w*r.


[ HOWLS OF LAUGHTER ]


Rabbits!?


Clever and devious.


Finally, a role model I can aspire to.


Uh-oh, looks like the rent-a-cop's gonna get him.


Run, dude!



Bus-ted!


JUDEWho's the new dude?


Ahhhhhh!


Did you see that?!


That was, was...


Ron the Rent-a-cop!


It can't be.


Those tapes are like years old.


That would make Ron like... .


It must be Ron's dad.


But that would make that kid...


my, my hero...


RON the RENT-A-COP?!


Here's your new mailing list!


Finally scored my email addresses.


But I'm just like him. I'm a total prankster.


What if I end up like the rent-a-cop?!


What's with him?


I'm saved!


I'm doomed!


Where did all the hotties come from?


I really am going to turn into the Rent-a-cop, aren't I?


Darth made Caitlin a 'My Face' page.


Guess she's gotten a lot of hits.


And a lot of hit on's.


Hi, can I get you something?


Actually, I was hoping I could get you something.


Oh Darth, you've saved my love life!


Then my Jedi duty has been fulfilled.


Get your hands off my man, you, you...


lemon-tart!


Julie, it's not what you think.


Oh, yeah?


Well, let's see what you think about...


Won-der Taco!!


Oww! That burns!


That's right.


It's just you and me now.


Taco against lemon!


Stop it! Ow. Ow! Ow!


Do something, Darth!


I can't.


I'm allergic to hot sauce!


He really is the worst Jedi ever.


Back off, Julie! You've got it all wrong.


Darth was just -- Owwwwww!


Save it, sister!


For once I think I'm speechless.


Please don't let me turn out like the rent-a-cop.


Please don't let me turn out like the rent-a-cop.


I've really got you this time, Taco.


Put down the hot sauce. You're surrounded!


I've been hit! Man down!


Man down!


Me, years from now.


Goooo, Caitlin!


Pucker up, lemonhead!


Enough!


Ahhhhh... I can't see!


Darth!


Julie, is that you?


It's me, Darth!


You saved my life.


I will remain by your side until I have reciprocated.


Ssounds ssssuper!


This isn't over, Taco.


I know where you work.


Oh, yes, I do.


Oh, brother.


You're not gonna turn into the rent-a-cop, okay?


You already tried that, remember?


You sucked and were heinously fired.


Thanks, Nikki.


You always know just what to say.


You better now, girls?


Much.


Not so much.


All those people I forwarded that email to have my address,


and I got new forwards.


Better get that clipboard.


Hey Darth, I was thinking,


yellow is such a pretty colour,


could you update my My Face page?


Darth?


Darth?!


Rats.


[ ♪ ]


I think we missed a tape, dudes.


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[ ♪♪ STOPS ]


Are you guys still watching those tapes?


Oh, give it up already.