03x19 - The Two Musketeers

[bunniefuu]

Hi, I'm pablo.

My name's tyrone.

I'm uniqua.

I'm tasha.

And my name's austin.

All: and we're...

♪ Your backyard friends, the backyardigans ♪

♪ Together in the backyard again ♪

Pablo: ♪ in the place where we belong ♪

Uniqua: ♪ where we'll probably sing a song ♪

Tasha: ♪ and we'll maybe dance along

All: ♪ we've got the whole wide world in our yard to explore ♪

♪ We always find things we've never seen before ♪

♪ That's why every day we're back for more ♪

♪ With your friends

♪ The backyardigans

Backyardigans: "the two musketeers"

Bonjour!

Bonjour!

That means hello.

Hello!

We are the two musketeers.

One!

Two!

Both: two!

A musketeer craves adventure!

Ha!

Ha ha!

And a musketeer has elegant manners!

Bonjour, monsieur.

Bonjour, monsieur.

But most of all,

A musketeer must know

How to make the most beautiful...

Both: balloon animals!

(Inhale and inflate balloons)

Both: nice!

It's great to be a musketeer!

♪♪

♪ Bonjour means good day ♪

♪ And by that we mean hey! ♪

Both: ♪ we're french and we've got attitudes ♪

♪ We are musketeers two

♪ One is me two is you ♪

Both: ♪ we're a debonair couple of dudes ♪

♪ We're adventurous guys

♪ With manners "so nize" ♪

Pablo and tyrone: ♪ we both are genteel and sincere ♪

♪ And we think that you'll see ♪

♪ And you'll have to agree ♪

♪ That we've both got the perfect career ♪

♪ It's great to be a musketeer ♪

♪ Oh la la! Oui, oui, oui! ♪

♪ It's great to be a musketeer ♪

♪ That's me for you

♪ And you for me

You know the only thing I don't like?

The empress?

Yeah.

Who does she think she is anyway?

With her fancy hot air balloon.

(Sighs)

I wish we had a hot air balloon like that.

Me too.

♪♪

♪ The only thing bad is I wish that we had ♪

♪ A balloon like that mean empress does ♪

♪ I know that you're bummed ♪

♪ But chin up, my dear chum ♪

♪ Life is no fair and that is because... ♪

Both: ♪ it's great to be a musketeer ♪

♪ Oh la la! Oui, oui, oui! ♪

♪ It's great to be a musketeer ♪

♪ That's me for you

♪ And you for me

Let's go...

To the french countryside!

With its gentle, rolling hills...

Pablo: where perfumed breezes stir the poplar trees!

Tyrone: and the air is sweet with adventure!

Tyrone: keep an eye out for the empress' guards.

The empress' guards?

Don't make me laugh. Ha!

Ha ha!

(Horse whinnies and knickers)

(Clomp of hooves)

The empress' guards!

Quick! Hide or they'll arrest us!

Uniqua: hmmm...

I'm sure I saw those two musketeers

Over here somewhere.

Me too.

I wish I could be a musketeer.

What?

Oh, nothing.

Ha! Ha ha!

The two musketeers!

Amazing!

Where did you come from?

Austin!

I mean...

In the name of the empress!

You are under arrest!

Oh yeah?

En garde!

All: (fighting grunts)

Uniqua: we'll throw you both

In the empress' dungeon, musketeers!

All: (fighting grunts)

Pablo: you are no match for the two musketeers!

Ha!

Ha ha!

Tasha: ha ha ha!

Hey! A third musketeer!

Oh no!

We are no match for three musketeers!

En garde, guards.

(Rubber swords thwunk against tasha)

Who's that?

I don't know.

Well, she's not a musketeer.

We don't even know her.

Tyrone: you are excellent with a sword, madame.

Merci, monsiuer.

Ha!

(Air flitters out)

Uniqua and austin: (swatting grunts)

Ha! Your sword is... (Gasps)

Hey, where'd they go?

They're gone.

(Whistles)

After them!

In the name of the empress!

(Clomp of hooves)

You truly are an excellent swords-woman, madame.

You certainly are!

Merci, messieurs.

And you are the two musketeers,

No?

Both: at your service, madame.

And who are you?

That is a secret.

Well, where do you come from?

I'm afraid that that too is a secret.

Well, then what do you want?

Messieurs, I would like to become a musketeer.

Both: huh?

Ha!

Ha ha!

I'm sorry, madame,

But that is not possible.

There are only two musketeers.

One!

Two!

Both: two!

And besides,

Not just anyone can become a musketeer,

Madame.

A musketeer must crave adventure!

I crave adventure.

Ha!

And a musketeer must have the best manners!

I have excellent manners.

And most of all,

A musketeer knows how to make the most beautiful-

Balloon animals?

(Balloon inflates, rubber squeaks as it's shaped)

(Gasps)

(Gasps)

Voila!

(In awe) whoa.

You're good.

Really good!

Merci!

So, why can't I be number three?

♪♪

♪ All my life

♪ How I've yearned for adventure ♪

♪ To do something that's meaningful too ♪

♪ Sick of spending my time in the palace ♪

♪ All alone and with nothing to do ♪

♪ How I wish I were part of a trio ♪

♪ To be third is my dreamiest dream ♪

♪ I would do anything that you ask me ♪

♪ To be part of the musketeer team ♪

♪ Number three

♪ Number three

♪ It's the number for me

♪ It's the number to be

♪ Number three

♪ Number three

♪ It's the third slot for me ♪

♪ I wanna be number three

♪♪

♪ Do you think maybe you could include me? ♪

♪ Can't you see all the hope in my eyes? ♪

♪ I'm begging you please don't exclude me! ♪

♪ I want so to be one of you guys ♪

♪ Number three

♪ Number three

♪ It's the number for me

♪ I'm sure that you'll agree ♪

♪ Number three

♪ Number three

♪ We'd be you, you and me ♪

♪ I want to be number three

Pablo and tyrone: ♪ we can tell that you really do mean what you sing ♪

♪ But a third musketeer just isn't our thing ♪

♪ Number three ♪

♪ Number three

♪ You must let me be

Pablo and tyrone: ♪ we're sorry but it cannot be ♪

♪ Number three

♪ Number three

♪ I'm your third, don't you see? ♪

♪ I wanna be

Pablo and tyrone: ♪ but you cannot be

♪ I want to be number three ♪

Pablo and tyrone: ♪ but you cannot be

♪ I want to be number three ♪

Pablo and tyrone: ♪ but you cannot be

♪ I want to be number three ♪

Pablo and tyrone: ♪ but you cannot be

♪ I want to be number three ♪

(Final notes play, song ends)

We can see that you are quite sincere, madame.

But we are sorry.

Now, if you'll excuse us,

We must be off before the empress' guards return.

After you.

No, after you.

No, no, no. I insist. After you.

Merci!

(Dejected sigh)

They've just gotta let me be a musketeer!

Pablo: hey, tyrone.

Why does the empress wear make up and perfume?

I don't know, pablo, why?

Because she's ugly and she smells.

(Laughing)

Uniqua and austin: aha!

Pablo: whoops!

In the name of the empress...

You are under arrest!

Again!

Ha! Ha ha!

All: en garde!

(Fighting grunts)

Austin: (thrusting grunts)

All: (fighting grunts)

Tasha: ha!

It's her again.

Bonjour, madame. Monsieur.

Bonjour!

How polite!

Merci.

You see, I have the finest manners

In all of france.

Well, certainly not finer than our own.

We are palace guards.

We are famous for having the very finest manners.

We always say "please"

And "thank you".

And we always let others go first.

You have given me no choice,

But to challenge you to a duel...

Of manners!

(Gasp)

Very well.

We accept.

Ahem.

Bonjour, madame, monsiuer.

Bonjour, madame!

Bonjour, madame.

Boy, she's polite!

She certainly is.

May we say what lovely manners you have.

You are very kind,

But you are both so much more polite

Than I could ever hope to be!

No! Not at all!

Your manners are truly exquisite!

Merci.

After you.

No, no. After you.

No, please, after you.

We insist, madame. After you.

Yes, we absolutely insist.

Very well, then. If you insist.

Ha! See?

She didn't insist back.

And she didn't say merci!

Our manners are much better than hers!

Madame, we truly regret to inform you that-

Hey, where'd she go?

Austin: you mean, where'd they go?

After them!

In the name of the empress!

Uniqua: which way did they go?

Austin: I don't know! Maybe they went...

No, they went...

Amazing!

Something tells me they couldn't have gone far.

Well, austin! They're too smart for us!

Why are you yelling?

Shhh! Play along.

We'd better get back and guard the palace!

Oh yeah! We sure should!

In the name of the empress!

Ha!

Ha ha!

Silly guards.

It figures.

After all, they work for that empress.

Why do you guys dislike the empress so much?

Are you kidding? She's awful.

The worst!

How do you know?

Have you ever met her?

Uh...

Well... No.

But we don't care for her.

♪♪

♪ Have you heard about that lady ♪

♪ That fancy pantsy lady

♪ Who thinks she's so much better ♪

♪ Than us all

♪♪

♪ She's selfish and she's mean ♪

♪ Like you'd expect from a queen ♪

♪ And though her ego is fat ♪

♪ Her heart is small

♪♪

♪ I hear she's got an ugly head ♪

♪ And there are bedbugs in her bed ♪

♪ And she's got pimples on her nose ♪

♪ And yucky stuff between her toes ♪

♪ I bet she doesn't wash her hair ♪

♪ And doesn't change her underwear ♪

Tyrone and pablo: ♪ and that's the reason we don't care ♪

♪ We don't care...

♪ We don't care...

♪ We don't care for the empress ♪

♪♪

Hmph!

♪ But you've never even met her ♪

♪ And I'll bet it would upset her ♪

♪ To hear those awful things ♪

♪ You have to say

Upset her?

The empress?

Both: oh please.

♪ What if she's only lonely ♪

♪ And wishes she could only ♪

♪ Have friends that she could play with ♪

♪ Every day

He empress?

Lonely?

Naaah!

Naaah!

♪ I hear she doesn't like cartoons ♪

♪ I bet she's lousy with balloons ♪

Tyrone and pablo: ♪ her manners must be really bad ♪

♪ If she could hear she'd be so sad ♪

Tyrone and pablo: ♪ and that's okay 'cause we don't care ♪

♪ We don't care...

♪ We don't care... ♪

♪ We don't care for the empress ♪

♪ You know what really gets me ♪

♪ What bothers and upsets me? ♪

♪ I'm so sick with envy ♪

♪ I think that I might cry ♪

♪ It's that wonderful balloon ♪

♪ Her magnificent balloon

Pablo and tyrone: ♪ how I wish that we could fly up to the sky ♪

That's why you don't like her?

Because she has a hot air balloon

And you don't?

Both: yeah.

♪ That's why we don't care ♪

♪ We don't care...

♪ We don't care for the empress ♪

Well, how about this?

F you let me be a musketeer

Then I won't like the empress either.

Oh boy.

Madame, it is true that you have exquisite manners.

And you're not a bad singer either.

But as we have said,

There can be only two musketeers.

One!

Two!

Both: two!

Very well then, gentlemen.

I shall trouble you no longer.

Farewell.

Well, you have to admit.

She tries.

Pablo and tyrone: oof! Ow!

Uniqua: ha!

Where is your masked musketeer now?

Uh, just a moment please.

Should we try to get her back?

Yeah.

Pablo and tyrone: ahem.

Help! Help! Stranger, come back!

We're sorry! Sorry!

(Shackles rattle)

Oh no!

We are captured!

Austin and uniqua: ha ha!

Now we will lock you away

In the empress's dungeon forever!

Sorry, guys.

What was that?

I said, ha ha!

Pablo: whoa!

(Door slams shut)

Good work, austin.

In the name of the empress!

♪♪

Uniqua and austin: ♪ we're guards of her lady the empress ♪

♪ The powerful empress of france ♪

♪ We love our careers locking up musketeers ♪

♪ All in the name of the empress! ♪

♪ We both do our jobs with precision ♪

♪ And blind dedication to rules ♪

♪ What we like to say best

♪ Is "your under arrest"

♪ All in the name of the empress ♪

♪ In the name of the empress ♪

♪ The empress

♪ The empress

♪ What else can be left to discuss ♪

All: ♪ in the name of the empress ♪

♪ The empress

♪ The empress

Uniqua and austin: ♪ it gives life some purpose

♪ And meaning for us

♪ We say "arret" that means "halt" ♪

♪ We say "halt" that means "stop" ♪

♪ We say stop!

♪ And we know that that's clear ♪

♪ You can run

Pablo and tyrone: ♪ no, we can't

Uniqua and austin: ♪ you can hide

Pablo and tyrone: ♪ what, in here?

Uniqua and austin: ♪ but we'll get you, my dear musketeers ♪

♪♪

All: ♪ in the name of the empress ♪

♪ The empress

♪ The empress

♪ It's like being police for a queen ♪

♪ In the name of the empress ♪

♪ The empress

♪ The empress

Tyrone and pablo: ♪ it gives you a reason for just being mean ♪

♪ All in the name of the empress! ♪

♪ All in the name of the empress! ♪

♪ All in the name of the empress! ♪

Goodbye, messieurs.

We'll check back on you in, say...

Three or four years.

Ha!

(Pleased laughter)

Now what?

How are we ever gonna get out of here?

Both: (sad sighs)

Tasha: sounds like you could use a third musketeer after all.

It's you!

We're saved!

(Keys jangle, lock clicks open)

Hurry! Follow me!

Is that the empress?

I think so.

She looks kinda familiar.

She certainly does.

Both: hmmmm....

I don't care for the empress.

Nor do i.

Now that the musketeers are locked away...

Hey!

Uh-oh.

The prisoners have escaped!

Wow! They're amazing!

I mean... Halt!

In the name of the empress!

(Gasps)

Oh no!

How did you escape the dungeon?

Yeah! It's amazing!

(Rubber squeaks)

Hey, do you hear something?

Yeah.

Tasha: oh my goodness! Look out!

A wild poodle!

All: (gasp)

Uniqua: a poodle!

Austin: a wild poodle!

Huh?

Hey! Wait a minute!

That's not a real wild poodle!

Amazing!

I mean... How dare they?!

Very clever, musketeers,

But you can not fool us so easily.

Both: (gasp)

Not again! After them!

Right!

In the name of the empress!

Tasha: this way! Hurry!

Pablo: that was a most excellent balloon poodle, madame!

It certainly was!

(Gasps) tyrone, look!

Tyrone: the empress's magnificent balloon!

Tasha: hurry! Get in!

I'll untie it!

Uniqua: halt, I say!

Austin: me too!

Uniqua and austin: (gasp)

They're escaping with the empress'

Magnificent balloon!

Stop them!

Halt, we say!

Hurry, madame!

Take my hand!

(Gasps)

I've got you!

(Grunt of effort)

Ha!

Tyrone: ha ha!

Tasha: ha ha ha!

Pablo: no one can capture the three musketeers!

Tasha: three musketeers?!

You mean...?

Madame, you clearly crave adventure.

Yes, and your manners are exquisite.

And that was the best balloon poodle

I've ever seen.

Not to mention you helped us escape.

And for that, we are very grateful.

We are honored to call you one of us.

Pablo and tyrone: a musketeer.

From now on

We are the three musketeers.

One!

Two!

Three!

All: three musketeers!

(Air flitters)

Uh-oh.

What's happening?

Uniqua: ha ha!

We've got you now, three musketeers!

Ha!

Austin and uniqua: ha ha!

Alas! We descend!

All is lost!

Uniqua: in the name of the empress...

You are under arrest!

Uniqua: now step out of that balloon.

Finally! All three of them!

The empress will be pleased.

Oh, she's pleased, all right.

All: huh? What? Huh?

How dare you say what pleases the empress!

What is your name, musketeer?

My name...

Is tasha, empress of france.

All: (shocked gasps)

Uniqua and austin: your majesty!

You're the empress...

Of france?

I certainly am! (Giggles)

Hey!

I guess that means that we do like the empress!

Madame, we're sorry we said

All those terrible things about you.

Yeah, we didn't mean it.

We didn't even know you!

Apology accepted, my friends.

And you are welcome to ride

In my magnificent balloon whenever you like!

Tyrone and pablo: awesome! Sweet!

Tyrone and pablo: it's great to be a musketeer!

♪ The lady helped us escape

♪ Without even a scrape

♪ And not a moment too soon ♪

Pablo, tasha and tyrone: ♪ and now as you can see

♪ We're are musketeers three

♪ In a magnificent hot air balloon ♪

♪ It's great to be a musketeer ♪

All: ♪ oh la la!

♪ Ba ba ba!

♪ It's great to be a musketeer ♪

♪ All for one

♪ And one for all

(Final note plays)

(Stomach grumbles)

What was that?

That was my stomach. I'm hungry!

Let's go to my house for a snack!

Let us eat cake!

All: all right! Awesome! Yay!

Pablo: all for one

All: and one for all!

(Laughter)

Tyrone: that was a very adventurous adventure,

Don't you think?

Oui, oui!

Sure was!

Uniqua and austin: mm-hm! Yep, it was awesome.

♪ We've got the whole wide world ♪

♪ In our yard to explore

♪ Now it's time for us to have a snack ♪

♪ Meet you next time when we're back ♪

♪ With your friends the backyardigans ♪

Austin: see ya!

Pablo: see you later!

Uniqua: later!

Tyrone and tasha: see you later! Later!

Pablo, tyrone and tasha: one! Two! Three!

Three musketeers!