03x03 - We're Married

[bunniefuu]

Josh Nichols: Have You Ever Been
Really Good Friends With Someone.

You Never Even Met Before?

Drake Nichols: Have You Ever

Been Really Thirsty, Just Didn't

Feel Like Gettin' Up?

Josh: See, For Over A Year Now,

I've Been E-Mailing This Girl

From A Foreign Country.
[Telephone Rings]

One Sec. Hello?

Drake: Yeah, This Is Lieutenant.

Peterson With The San Diego

Police Department.

Josh: Oh, Is It?

Drake: Yeah, You're Gonna Need.

To Get A Can Of Soda Upstairs To

Your Brother, A Code Three.

Josh: Code This!

[Blows Whistle]

Anyway, Back To My E-Pal Yooka.

It's Kinda Weird To Be Friends

With Someone You've Never Met Or

Even Talked To On The Phone, But

I... [Telephone Rings]

If You Call Me One More Time, I

Will Take An Entire Bottle Of

Maple Syrup And Pour It All Over

Your Underwear Drawer So For The

Next The Next Ninety Days You

Could Walk Around
With Sticky Butt!

Walter Nichols: Josh,
It's Your Father.

Josh: Nice Try, Y'big Doof!

Man! If He's So Thirsty,

Why Can't He Come Downstairs,

Go In The Kitchen
And Get Himself...

Oh, Jeez.

Computer: Hello, Josh.

Two New E-Mails.

Drake: Lozenge... Syringe...

Josh: What Are You Doing?
Drake: Tryin' To Write A Song,

But I Can't Find A Word To Rhyme

With Orange. Can
You Think Of Anything?

Josh: Yooka!

Drake: Ok, You Have
Serious Rhyming Issues.

Josh: No! Yooka's My E-Pal!

Y'know, That Girl I've Been
E-Mailing With For The Past

Year-And-A-Half?!

Drake: Oh, Yeah. That
Chick From Yubonia?

Josh: Yudonia!

And She's Coming To
America To Visit Me!

Drake: Whoa, Really?

Josh: Yeah!

I Gotta Get A Haircut!

Yooka's Comin'! Ha Ha!

Drake: You All Right?

Josh: I Hit My Forehead
On The Door Hinge.

Josh: Door Hinge!

Drake: ♪ I Never Thought

That It'd Be So Simple,
But I Found A Way,

I Found A Way, And...

If You Open Up Your Mind ♪

Chorus: ♪ See What's Inside ♪

Drake: ♪ It's Gonna Take Some

Time To Realize, But
If You Look Inside,

I'm Sure You'll Find,

Over Your Shoulder, You'll Know

That I Told You I'll Always Be.

Picking You Up When You're Down,

So Just Turn Around...
Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh ♪

Josh: Drake, Yooka's Gonna Be.

Here Any Second!

Drake: Ok.

Josh: Will You Please Help Me.

Clean Up A Little Bit?

Drake: I Will
Clean Up After I'm.

Done With My Popcorn
And My Mocha Cola.

Josh: You're Done!

[Horn Honks]

Hurry! Yooka's Here! Peace Out.

Megan, Come Down!
Yooka's Comin'!

Megan: I'd Hit 'Em
Again If I Were You.

Josh: Ha Ha. Very Funny.

Come Here. Come Here. Megan!

Come Here.

Audrey Parker-Nichols:
We're Back!

Walter: Megan, Josh, Drake...

Please Meet... Yooka.

Drake: Yooka?!

Yooka: Josh!

Josh: Uhhh... That's Not Josh.

Drake: Yes, I Am.

Josh: I'm Josh.

Nice To Meet You, Yooka.

Yooka: Josh!

Josh: Oh, Yeah, Josh Likey.

Audrey: Yooka, You Just Make.

Yourself At Home.

We'll Go Get The Rest Of
Your Things Out Of The Car.

Yooka: Thank You So Much.

Josh: Oh, Uh, Yooka...

This Is My Little Sister Megan.

Yooka: Oh, Yes. Meegan.

Josh Has Told Me So Much Things

About You. Please Don't Hurt Me.

Megan: We'll See.

Josh: Oh, Yooka, I Have A.

Present For You. Come Here.

Yooka: Oh, What It Is? Oh.

Oh! It's A Glokmah!

Drake: No, No.

This Is A Goat.

Josh: Glokmah Means Goat.

Yooka: Yes!

You See, The Goat Is The

National Symbol Of Yudonia.

The Glokmah Is Very
Sacred In My Country.

Josh: Oh, Hey, Yooka!

You Wanna Sing A
Yudonian Folk Song?

♪ Ick-Von Schnye,

Ick-Von-Schnye, Digga Digga

Oom-Fa, Ick Von-Schnye ♪

Heh?

Drake: Josh, I
Don't Think Yooka.

Came Here To Sing Yudonian

Folk Songs. She Probably

Wants To Experience More

American Things Like Sushi

And Mexican Food. Right, Yooka?

Yooka: Oh, Yes! Can We, Josh?

Josh: Sure.

Yooka: Oh, Excellent!

But First I Must Take Shower.

Drake: Ok, I'll Go Show You How.

The Shower Works.

Josh: No, You Won't! How Are Ya?

Drake: Hey, There's Josh.

'Sup?

Josh: Don't You 'Sup Me!

Where've You Been?

Drake: In The Mall.

You Ditched Us.

Josh: No. You Sent Me To The.

Food Court To Get Us Corn Dogs,

And You Were Supposed To Meet

Me There Forty-Five Minutes Ago.

Drake: Yeah, But We Passed By.

The Teeny Bikini And I Thought

That Yooka Should Have Some

American Swim Wear.

Josh: Oh, What A Sweet Boy!

Yooka, I Have A
Surprise For You.

Yooka: You Do?!

Josh: Yeah, Check This Out!

Ick Glokmah!

Drake: Ick Glokmah?

Josh: It Happens To Be The Only.

Movie Ever Produced In Yudonia.

I Had To Pull A Few Strings, But

I Got Steve The Projectionist To

Play It Here Tonight!

So, Yooka, You Ready To Get Your

Glokmah On?!

Yooka: Josh, That's Very, Very.

Sweet Of You, But I Have Already

Seen Ick Glokmah
Forty-Two Times.

Drake: Well, That's Ok.

The Three Of Us Can
See Puppet Fever.

Yooka: Oh, I Would Love This!

Josh: Ok. C'mon, It's
In Theater Seven.

Yooka: Ok. Steve: Hey, Josh.

Josh: Oh, Hey, Crazy
Steve... Uh, Steve.

Steve: So I Got That Foreign.

Film Ready For
Ya In Theater Five.

Josh: Ok. Well,
Uh, The Thing Is.

We Decided To See
Puppet Fever Instead.

Steve: Oh. Well,
That's Gonna Be.

A Little Problem Because, See...

When You Asked Me To Find That

Movie For You, I Spent Five

Hours On The Phone Tracking It

Down And Talking Helen Into

Letting Me Screen It For You, So

Now That I've Done All That...

Somebody's Gonna Be Watchin' Ick

Glokmah Tonight, Or Else

Somebody's Gonna Be An Organ

Donor Before Their Seventeenth

Birthday, Josh Nichols!

Josh: Um, So I'm Gonna
See Ick Glokmah.

Hey. I Thought You Guys Were

Comin' Home Right
After The Movie.

Drake: Oh, Sorry Man, But Yooka.

Wanted To See Shamu.

Josh: You Went To Sea World.

Without Me?! That's My Place!

Yooka: Drake, I Just Have So.

Wonderful A Time Tonight.

I Will Say Thank You The Way We

Do In Yudonia.

You Like?

Drake: Yeah. Maybe Later, I'll.

Show You How We Say

"You're Welcome" In America.

Ha Ha Ha.

Josh: Ha Ha Ha Ha. Ha!

Megan: Yooka, There's A.

Long-Distance Phone Call For

You. I Think It's Your Parents.

Yooka: Ah. If You
Boys Will Excuse Me.

Josh: You Make Me So Angry!

Drake: Dude, I Didn't Make You.

Sit Through That
Dumb Goat Movie.

Josh: No? Ever Since Yooka Got.

Here, You've Been All Over Her.

And She's My E-Pal!

Drake: Ok, Look, Hey,

If It's Buggin' You,
I'll Just Back Off.

Josh: You Swear?
Drake: Yeah, Sure.

Josh: Ok. I'm Sorry I Had To.

Get Tough On You Like That.

Yooka: Ooon-Yafa Deesh.

Ick-Naffin Loom-Fina Schnye!

Drake: She Sounds Upset.

Josh: What Do You
Think She's Sayin'? Ooh!

My Yudonian Phrase Book!

Yooka: No-Doominya Eep Flanja!

Drake: Ok, Doominya Eep Flanja!

Look That Up!

Josh: I'm Lookin'!
Ooh, Here It Is!

Let's See... Flanja Means Sick.

Drake: She's Sick?

Josh: No. Now, Look, Look.

Doominya Means Home.
Aw, Yooka's Homesick.

What Are We Gonna Do?

Drake: Maybe You Can Find A Way.

To Make Her Feel More At Home?

Josh: Yeah! Yeah, That's A Good.

Idea. You, My Friend, Have

Earned Yourself A Yudonian Thank

You. Where Are You Going?

Drake: To Boil My Face.

Man: Joonja.

Drake: Thank You? Josh, Some.

Weird Man Just Splashed Me With

Water From A Bowl
And Said Joonja.

Josh: Yeah, That's Blemin.

Drake: Blemin?

Blemin: Joonja.

Drake: Ok. I Don't Like Blemin.

What's Going On In Here?
Josh: Well... All Right.

I Searched The Internet And I

Found The Only Person In San

Diego From Yudonia.

So I Invited Him Here To Make

Yooka Feel More At Home.

Drake: Well, I'm Impressed.

Josh: And Get This. Blemin Said.

He'd Perform This Special Like

Yudonian Friendship
Ceremony For All Of Us.

Drake: A Friendship Ceremony?

Yooka: Josh, I Was Trying To.

Work This Television
Machine And I...

Oh, My! It Is So Much
Like My Homeland.

Josh: Yooka, Meet Blemin. He's.

From Yudonia. Blemin, Yooka.

Blemin: Joonja.

Yooka: Jajoon.

Josh: Blemin Said He'd Perform.

This Special Ceremony For Us

Called, Ummm... Blemin: Yadoka.

Yooka: Yadoka?!

Josh: Yadoka.

Yooka: Oh! Josh!
How Did You Know?

Josh: Well, We Sorta Overheard.

You Talking On The Phone To Your

Parents And... We
Just Wanted To Help.

Yooka: Oh, Thank You!

Thank You Both So Much!

Blemin: Please, We Must Begin.

While The Sun Is In
The House Of Karflog.

Drake: Right, Karflog.

Blemin: Now, Please To Wrap.

Yourselves In The
Ceremonial Rag.

Drake: Rag.

[Folk Music Playing]

Blemin: Now, You
Must Hold Hands.

And Repeat My Words.

Roshon... Ee-Nay Kuda-Sye

M'joonga Oon-Ta-Yah.

Drake: Um, E-Nay
Ninja... Blemin: E-Nay...

Drake: E-Nay...
Blemin: Kuda-Sye...

Drake: Kuda-Sye...
Blemin: M'joonga...

Drake: M'joonga...
Blemin: Oon-Ta Yah.

Drake: Oon-Ta Yah.

Blemin: Foonja... Ee-Nay
Kuda-Sye M'joonga.

Oon-Doofinda.

Yooka: Ee-Nay Kuda-Sye M'joonga.

Oon-Doofinda.

Blemin: Teedu... Oonfa N'yog!

Josh: Oonfa N'yog!

Blemin: And Now... Di-Aynu!

Josh And Drake: Di-Aynu!

Yooka: It Is Done!

Blemin: Zish. You May Now,

How You Say, "Kiss The Bride."

Drake: Uhhh... One More Time?

Yooka: You May Kiss Me!

Drake: Yeah, I'm Cool With That.

Part, But What's
This Talk About...

Josh: Bride?!

Yooka: Oh, Josh. You Know.

You Arranged This
Whole Ceremony.

Drake And I Are Married!

Josh: Married?!

Drake: Married?!

Josh: Drake, What
Are We Gonna Do?!

Drake: I Dunno. May As Well.

Start With This...

Yooka: This Is So Wonderful!

Josh: Yeah, Um, Yooka...

Could You Mind Waiting

Downstairs For A Sec?

I'd Like To Congratulate Drake

Privately About Your Marriage.

Yooka: Oh, Of Course. Josh:
It's So Wonderful, You're.

Married! Drake!

You Promised You'd Back Off!

How Dare You Marry My E-Woman!

Drake: Hey, Don't Get Mad At Me!

You Told Me This Was
A Friendship Ceremony!

Josh: Well, I Thought It Was!

Drake: Well, We're
Really Good Friends Now!

Josh: I'm Sure You're
Not Actually Married.

Drake: Yeah, We Are!

You Heard Me Say E-Nay Kuda-Sye

M'joonga Oon-Ta-Yah!

Josh: Maybe It's Not Official.

All Right, Let's Go Downstairs

And Talk To Yooka. Maybe We Can

Get The Marriage
Erased Or Something.

Drake: Yeah, Let's
Go Talk To Yooka.

Josh: Ok. Ooh. We Should.

Probably Put
That Fire Out First.

Drake: Fine.

Josh: Not That Way!

What's The Matter With You?

Josh: Hey. Hey, Yooka.

Yooka: Hello.

Oh, Drake, What Is
Wrong, My Sweet Husband?

Drake: Ohh.

Josh: Uh, Yooka, Ummm...

This Whole Wedding...
It Wasn't Like A...

Real Marriage, Right?

Yooka: Ha Ha Ha Ha! Yes, It Is.

Josh: Ow!

Yooka: We Have A Certificate.

Josh: Aw, Jeez.

Drake: Aw, Man.

Yooka: I Am Sorry, I
Have A Confusion?

I Thought You Wanted To Do This

To Help Me Stay Here In America.

Drake: Wait. You
Wanna Stay Here?

Yooka: Of Course.

Josh: Wait. But We
Overheard You.

On The Phone Say That You Were

Homesick. Ummm... Remember You

Said, Um... Doominya Flanja?

Yooka: No, No, No. You.

Misunderstand. You See,

I Tell Them, "I Am Sick Of"

"Home." Not Homesick.

Josh: I Misunder... Ok.

Y'know, You're Gonna
Ruin Your Cuticles.

Drake: Yeah, You Can Make Jokes.

You're Still Single.

Josh: She Just Wants
To Stay In America.

You Might Be Technically

Married, But It's Not Like It's

Gonna Change Your Life.

Drake: Yeah, I Just Need.

Somethin' To Get My Mind Off Of

It. Well, Hello, Somethin'.

'Scuze Me.

Is This Your Purse On The Floor?

Girl: Yeah. Thanks.
It Must Have.

Fallen When I Wasn't Looking.

Drake: Well, Then
This Is Your Lucky Day.

Girl: Yeah, Why's That?

Drake: You Got Your Purse Back,

And I'm Free Tonight.

Girl: Then It Is My Lucky Day.

Yooka: A-Chem!

Drake: Yooka, What Are You Doin'

Here?

Yooka: You, You Take Your Eyes.

Off My Husband, You Skunk Bag!

Drake: Yooka?!

Girl: Husband?!

Josh: Skunk Bag?!

Drake: No! No, No, You See, I'm.

Not Really Her Husband.

We're Just Married.

Girl: You're Married And You're.

Hitting On Me?!

Drake: You See,
There's A Funny Story...

Ugh, Man, What A Night.

I'm So Wrecked.

Josh: Hey, Drake.

Yooka: Yes. "Hey," Drake.

Or Should I Say, "You Were

Supposed To Be Home Two Hours

Ago And Where Have
You Been, Drake?"

Drake: I Was Rehearsing
With My Band.

Yooka: You Are Married Now.

You Need To Start
Focusing On Your Career.

Drake: Career?! I'm In High.

School! I Don't Want A Career.

In Fact, Having No Career Is My

Career And I'm Very Good It.

Yooka: Oh. So I Suppose You.

Plan To Let Me And
Your Children Starve?

Drake: Children?!

Yooka: Yes, I Want Nine Of Them.

Josh: I Have To Pee.

Drake: I'll Go With You, Josh.

Drake: She's Talkin' Children!

Nine Children!

You Got Me Into This. You Find A

Way To Get Me
Out. Josh: I'm Trying!

I Was On The Phone With The

Yudonian Embassy For An Hour, I

Tried To Get You Drafted, And I

Even Put A Call In To Oprah!

Drake: What Can Oprah Do?!

Josh: Oprah Can Do Anything!

But She Didn't Call Back.

Audrey: Drake! Josh!
Come Down Here.

Drake: What Now?

Josh: Come On.

Hey.

Drake: Who Are They?

Audrey: Boys, These
Are Yooka's Parents.

Yonka: I Am Yonka.

This Is My Wife, Yeesta.

Yeesta: Faloop!

Josh: See Ya.

Drake: Yaa.

Walter: They Came All
The Way From Yudonia.

Audrey: Because They Wanted To.

Meet Their New Son-In-Law.

Drake: Ok, Look...

We're Not Really Married.

Yooka: M'ma? P'pa? Aah!

What Are You Doing Here?

Yonka: We Have
Come To Meet Your.

New Husband.

Audrey: Ok, If You'll Just.

Excuse Us For A Moment...

Drake, Josh, May We
See You In The Kitchen?

Drake: Can't We Talk Out Here?

Josh: Where There'll Be.

Witnesses If You k*ll Us?

Audrey: , , ...
Drake: Oh, Come On.

Josh: Don't You Think We're A.

Little Old For That?

Audrey: ...

Ok, Drake. I Just Want You To

Calmly Explain To Me Why You Are

Married To That Yudonian Girl!

Drake: Well, You See, Josh.

Arranged This... This Whole

"Friendship Ceremony," But It

Turned Out To Be A
Marriage Ceremony!

Audrey: Josh?! You Did This?!

Josh: But Drake's The One That.

Said E-Nay Kuda-Sye M'joonga

Oon-Ta-Yah When The Sun Was In

The House Of Karflog!

Audrey: What?!

Walter: All Right, We'll Just.

Call The Yudonian Embassy And

We'll Have Them
Annul The Marriage.

Josh: I Tried. You
Can't Get The.

Marriage Annulled Unless Both

The Husband And Wife Agree.

But Don't Worry, All Right?

I'm Workin' On A Plan.

Drake: Oprah Is Never
Calling You Back!

Josh: No. Mom, Dad, Just Go Out.

There And Keep Yooka's Parents

Busy For A While.

Just Trust Me.

Walter: All Right. Come On.

Drake: You Really
Think You Can Fix This?

Josh: I Think So. But Just In.

Case, Best We Don't Have These

In The House.

More Meatballs?

Yonka: Mmmm! Please.

This Food Is Most Excellent.

Josh: Glad Ya Like It.

Walter: You Know, Josh Has.

Always Been A Wonderful Cook.

In The Fifth Grade, He Won First

Prize For His Brownie Recipe.

What'd You Call That Son?

Fudgie Boos?

Josh: Oh, Dad,
Please Stop Talking.

Walter: No, No, No, That Wasn't.

It. It Was Frosty Poos.

Josh: Right. So I'm
Gonna Get More Meat.

Yeesta: So, Drake, You Have Not.

Told Me How You Plan To Support

My Daughter.

Drake: Well, My Hope Is To.

Become A Famous
Musician And Singer.

Yeesta: Boosha!

Drake: Boosha?!

Yonka: You Must Get A Real Job.

Audrey: He's In High School.

Drake: Yeah. My Grades Are Very.

Important To Me.

Megan: Yeah, Do You Know How.

Hard He Works To
Maintain His "D" Average?

Audrey: Megan.

Yonka: I Say School Not So.

Important. I Not Go To School,

Yet I Become
Billionaire By Age .

Drake: A B-Billionaire?

Like With A "B"?

Yonka: Yok.

Drake: Why You Didn't Tell Me.

Your Family Had A Billion

Dollars? That's Worth

Mentioning... My
Sweet, Sweet Wife.

Yooka: Ohh, Drake.

Drake: Oh, Money... Yooka!

Ohhh, Yooka.

Yonka: Josh, This
Meat Is Magnificent.

We Don't Have Beef Like This In

Our Homeland.

Josh: Oh, That's Not Beef.

Yeesta: Oh? Then
What Is This Meat?

Josh: It's Goat.

[Spitting Out Meat]

Yonka: Glokmah?!

Yeesta: You Serve Us Goatballs?!

Yooka: Josh, How
You Could Do This?!

Josh: Well, It Was Drake's Idea.

In Fact, He Cooked
This Entire Meal.

Drake: Be Quiet, Josh.

They Have A Billion Dollars.

Yooka: Drake!

You Know That Goat Is
Sacred In My Country!

Drake: Yes, Yes! I Know!

I Would Never Serve Goat To My

Wonderful Yudonian Family With

So Much Money!

Yonka: Family, We Go. Now!

Drake: Wait, Wait! Don't Go!

I Love You All So Much!

Yeesta: Boosha!

Yonka: This Marriage Is No More!

Drake: Yooka! Yooka, Wait!

Don't Go! What About The Love

We Share?! I'm Sorry About

The Glokmah! Wait. Can't I Just

Have A Few Million Dollars?

Please?

[Tires Squeal]

Boosha!

Josh: Whoa, Drake. Check Out.

This E-Mail From Yooka.

She Writes, "When I Got Back To"

Yudonia, I Met A Wonderful Boy

Named Achboo. We Fell In Love

And Are Engaged To Be Married.

He Is A Big Fan Of American

Baseball, So My Father Bought

"Him The Boston Red Sox."

Man, What Do You Think Of That?

Drake: Boosha. [Blows Nose]

Man: Mmm!