02x01 - The Bet

[bunniefuu]

I got to say, I'm really glad

drake's my new stepbrother.

I'm really glad someone invented pizza.

Oh!

And bikinis.

Yeah, bikinis are cool.

But when you have a brother around the same age as you,

sometimes it gets a little competitive.

Last week, josh challenged me to see

who could hold his breath the longest.

We had this contest to see who could hold their breath longer.

After two minutes...

I won. I lost...

Consciousness.

I was breathing through my nose the whole time.

Oh! And then there was the milk challenge.

I bet josh my allowance that he couldn't chug

an entire gallon of milk.

But he did it. I lost.

I threw up. He puked.

Both: it was worth it.

[Video game sound effects and music playing]

josh: yes!

Yes! Yes!

Yeah, you ain't no competition for joshie!

Look out now!

And...

[Beeping]there it is!

Switching to handheld!

Yeah, look out, red turtle shell!

Yeah! Mincemeat, sucker!

Sweet.

I'm so late.

Hey, can one of you boys do me a favor?

Uh... Uh...

Megan is down the street

playing at eddie's house,

and it's about to pour down rain.

Uh... Uh...

So, one of you guys needs

to take this umbrella over there

and walk her home.

Ok?

Uh... Uh...

Here's the umbrella. Thanks, guys.

Josh,

you better take that umbrella and go get megan.

[Door closes]

ok! See you when you get back with megan!

♪ I never thought that it'd be so simple ♪

♪ but I found a way

♪ I found a way

♪ and if you open up your mind ♪

♪ see what's inside

♪ it's going to take some time to realize ♪

♪ but if you look inside, I'm sure you'll find ♪

♪ over your shoulder, you'll know that I told you ♪

♪ I'd always be picking you up when you're down ♪

♪ so just turn around

♪ ooh

[thunder]

oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

Joshie's going to get you!

Jump the mushroom.

I'll jump the mushroom

when it's mushroom-jumping time!

Hello!

Hello!

Oh, yeah.

This is for you.

Hi.

Oh...

Drake! Josh!

Uh... Uh...

Hey!

[Gasps]

what up with that?

One thing!

I ask you guys to do one thing for me!

Look at megan!

She's wet.

Everyone can see I'm wet, you boob!

Mom: you were too busy to go get your sister,

but you weren't too busy to play video games all day!

Josh!

Or to sit around swallowing pounds of junk food!

Drake!

I keep telling you they're bad people!

Well?

You have anything to say for yourselves?

Well--ahem-- you see,

I view this whole incident

as a learning experience.

Oh! Upstairs!

Both of you-- you're grounded tonight.

But it's saturday night!

I'm supposed to meet brian horowitz

at the magic palace!

Go apologize to your sister,

and then both of you, upstairs!

Sorry.

Sorry.

You do realize this is your fault?

No, I do not realize that.

You couldn't have stopped playing your video game

for minutes to take her the stupid umbrella?

Hey, number one-- that umbrella is not stupid.

My uncle bought it for me at seaworld.

Oh, just face it, josh. You are addicted to video games.

I am not addicted to them.

I am in love with them.

Oh, how sad.

Not as sad as being addicted to junk food,

which you are.

Man, do you know how bad that stuff is for you?

"Ooh, look at me!

"I'm josh! I play video games all day long!

"Girls? No, thank you, ma'am!

I've got me a video game!"

"Ooh, I'm drake!

"Nutrition? Not for me!

I'm just going to eat me a big old bag of cheese balls!"

Which you're allergic to.

Aah! Aah!

Besides, food is a necessity.

Video games have no value.

Video games teach hand-eye coordination,

which is why I now have catlike reflexes.

Yeah, dead catlike reflexes.

I wasn't ready!

Besides, I could quit video games

a lot easier than you could quit junk food!

Oh, really?

[Sniffing] smell that, josh?

It smells like a bet to me.

No, I smell...

[Long sniff] you losing a bet!

Ha! Ok, hot pants, it's on.

You give up video games, I give up junk food.

The first one to cave loses.

Ok. What happens when you lose?

Heh heh! When you lose...

You have to, uh...

Dye your hair pink.

All right.

Loser has to dye his hair pink.

So we starting right now?

Yeah, we're starting right now!

Or we could start in the morning.

Morning works.

Got the contract?

Yep. Spell-checked and everything.

[Drake and josh murmuring aloud]

"must not play video games..."

"Cannot eat junk food of any kind..."

[Both murmuring aloud]

"and whoever caves...

Must die"?

"Must die"?

"...his hair pink."

Ah! Ah!

Sign, please.

Sign here...

And here.

Not there, you boob, here.

Signature here.

One more initial here.

Perfect!

Stupid sky!

You don't want to fit? Fine!

Brrring! It's for you!

There! Who fits now?!

Megan: hey, josh.

So, how's the bet going?

Horrible.

I got to find something to replace video games,

or I'm going to explode.

You could try exercising.

[Scoffs] this is no time for jokes, megan.

[Sighs]

got to play video games.

Can't play video games.

[Whimpering]

microwave.

[Beep]

josh likey!

Reheat! Reheat! Defrost! Defrost!

Ooh!

Ice crush! Reheat!

Crisp! Liquefy! Grind!

Yes! Defrost! Defrost!

Stir! Warm! Blend!

Blend! Yeah!

Ice crush! Grate!

Blend! Popcorn! Reheat!

Custom defrost!

Pathetic.

Ah! Oh!

Oh!

Oh, ssssssweet, sweet cupcakes!

Oh, you feel so nice!

Oh! [Sniffing]

I can't eat you now, but don't worry.

We'll be together again soon.

Yeah, I'm pathetic!

Ha ha ha ha!

It's ok, little snacks.

The mean man is gone.

[Alarm clock beeping]

[alarm stops]

[sighs] josh, get up.

[Josh grunts]

would you watch where you throw things at me?

A little more to the left and we could have had a serious problem.

Dude, can I borrow your toothpaste?

Yeah, no prob--aah!

[Screaming]

what's your problem? What? What?

[Whimpering]

uhh!

Aah! Ohh!

[Screaming]

well, this is going to sound a little odd, but, uh...

The recent change in drake's diet probably caused the rash.

Wait a minute.

You're saying that he got that rash

from not eating junk food?

Is that really possible?

Sure.

See, his body was so accustomed

to all the fat and sugar and sodium

that when he suddenly stopped,

it resulted in this hideous facial rash.

Uh, no offense.

Well, we really appreciate you coming by, jeff.

It's nice to have a doctor live across the street.

Yeah. Nice for you.

Here's your bill.

$?

Yep. See ya.

Wait, wait, wait!

What about my hideous facial rash?

Well, I normally advise my patients

to stay away from junk food,

but in light of your face, I suggest that you eat some,

perhaps a doodle cake.

$.

I can't believe this.

I mean, it makes me... Almost unattractive.

What am I going to do?

Well, you heard the doctor.

Yeah!

Bring in the junk food!

Wow!

♪ Joshie won the bet! ♪

♪ Drake's going to have pink hair! ♪

♪ La la la la la! ♪

♪ La la la la la! ♪

[High-pitched] ♪ la la la la la! ♪

Hey, spaz.

This package just came for you.

Oh, it's a present from grammy.

This day just keeps getting better.

What'd she send you?uh...

[Gasps]

uh! It's a game sphere!

No way.

The game sphere doesn't come out

for another months.

Never underestimate grammy.

What's a game sphere?

Only the most sophisticated gaming experience

ever created by humans,

and it's spherical!

Spherical!

Oh, man, I got to plug this in.

Good,

because the second you do,

you lose the bet.

Oh, but...

But...

Here!

No!

You've got to eat some junk food right now. Doctor said so.

Oh, no way, man. Ain't going to happen.

Now, go ahead.

Play your ultra-cool new game sphere.

No!

♪ It's spherical

I know!

But I ain't playing it.

And I'm not eating junk food.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

This is the greatest day of my life.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Why don't you, uh, put that book down, drake?

Ow!

There! I put it down! You happy?

Evil!

All right, class. Let's begin.

Behold.

The human eye.

This fascinating organ is the only...

I miss video games

so, so much.

[High-pitched woman's voice] josh!

The evil dragon has locked me in his castle!

Press "b" to save me, josh

press "b"...

I'm pressing it!

Teacher: josh!

Josh!

Yes, princess?

[All laughing]

please pay attention.

And now, class,

here's an actual,

real human eye.

[All groaning]enough!

There is nothing disgusting about the human body.

Drake! Put that book down!

Oh! [Retching]

oh, my gosh!

Josh: game sphere. Game sphere.

Game sphere. Game sphere.

Drake: oh, my face.

My face!

Josh: game sphere.

Game sphere. Game sphere.

Can you believe them?

Heh! I know.

There's no way josh can keep this up.

Drake's going to win this bet easy.

Are you kidding?

Drake's rash is spreading. He'll cave first.

You want to bet on that?

You are so on. What do you want to bet?

"Loser dies"?

[Sighs]

"...his hair pink."

Sign here.

Initial here.

Not there, here.

Oh.

Now your signature here.

Oh, that's it!

The bet isn't worth it!

I have to play you!

Josh!

Aah!

What are you doing?

I can't take it anymore!

I have to play the game sphere!

It's spherical!

Would you calm down?

I can't calm down! I just can't handle any more! It's--

do it again!

Thank you.

Josh, you can win this bet.

You can do it.

I don't think I can.

All you have to do is sabotage drake.

Make him cr*ck before you do.

Sabotage.

That's good. That's really good.

You have to sabotage josh.

Sabotage?

Make him cr*ck first.

It's the only way you can win the bet.

I like it.

Is this noticeable?

Why is it dark in here?

Josh, what did you do?

What do you mean, drake?

It--it's all candy and...and junk food.

Yeah, I suppose it is.

Pillow?

Cotton candy!

But, josh, how did you do all this--

shh!

Don't ask.

Just enjoy.

Nice try, josh, but it's not going to work.

But doesn't it all look so good?

Not as good as this...

Game sphere!

[Gasps] you tease!

[Video game theme music playing]

announcer: welcome to game sphere.

Hi!

Prepare for the ultimate gaming experience.

[Deep voice] now let's play some games!

Ah, you're k*lling me here!

Hurts, doesn't it?

Aah!

Ooh!

Ha!

Mmm!

Chocolate milk!

Big deal.

[Crunch]

chocolate cup.

[Beeping]

[gasps]

you got the wireless battle pad!

Yep.

Look at me, walking and playing.

I'm playing the game sphere.

Uh...

Mmm! Marshmallows!

[Music plays]

ooh! Level two!

Uh!

Loving that licorice!

[Music plays]

hey, hey! I just warped!

Man, look at those graphics!

Everybody loves gummi bears!

Both: give me that!

Oh!

[Grunts]

both: aha! You caved!

No, you caved!you caved first!

[Both shouting at once]

[gasps]

[both shouting]

boys! Boys!

Guys! Guys!

Guys, wait! Get--

get up! Guys! Oh!

Oh!

What is going on?!

[Both shouting at once]

and then drake caved!and then josh caved!

Drake: you caved first!

You caved first! What are you talking about?

[Both shouting at once]

megan: hey, hey, hey!

It doesn't matter who caved first.

What? What?

The contract says

whoever caves must dye his hair pink.

You both caved, so you both have to do it.

But I didn't-- no way!

Mom! Dad!

You boys signed a contract.

You made a commitment.

You have to honor a commitment.

Yeah, about that...

Mom, you bet on josh.

Dad, you bet on drake. They both lost.

Yeah, but we never meant--

you signed the contract.

You have to honor a commitment.

Drake, josh, you'll be late for school.

Ok. I was wrong.

This is the best day of my life.

[Sighs]

just get in the car.

See you, boys.

[Sighs] bye.

So...

When do you think this pink will wear off?

I don't know. A few weeks, months.

[Sighs] school's going to be rough.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, well. Let's go.uh, no.

I'm going to grab some breakfast.

I'll just meet you at school.

Ok. See you.

[Door opens, closes]

[scoffs] idiots.

Mmm!