03x11 - Sheep Thrills

[bunniefuu]

Josh: y'know, it's amazing how

Much we can learn from animals.

Drake: y'know, it's amazing how

Gullible josh can be.

Josh: like this little goldfish

I won at the san diego fair.

Drake: last summer, josh won a

Goldfish at the fair.

Josh: I named him renaldo.

Drake: he named him renaldo.

Josh: so my biology teacher

Helped me create this special

Fish food for him.

Drake: so josh starts feeding

Him this special fish food that

He made.

Josh: and after only two days,

Guess what happened!

Drake: I took renaldo out of his

Fish bowl and replaced him with

Another goldfish twice his size.

Josh: renaldo doubled in size!

Drake: josh thought his fish

Food was "magic."

Josh: my fish food was like

Magic!

Drake: and after three more

Days, I took the big fish out

And replaced him with an even

Bigger goldfish.

Josh: and in only one week,

Renaldo went from like this big

To the size of a cantaloupe!

Drake: and then, josh ran out of

All of his special fish food.

Josh: but then I ran out of my

Special fish food, so I just

Started feeding him fish food

From the store.

Drake: so when josh was asleep,

I took out the gigantic

Goldfish, and I put back the

Original fish, you know, little

Renaldo.

Josh: and the next morning,

Renaldo had shrunk from the size

Of a cantaloupe...back down to

His original teeny self.

Drake: anybody wanna buy a

Drake: anybody wanna buy a three-pound gigantic goldfish?

Three-pound gigantic goldfish?

Megan: drake! Where's josh?

Drake: outside, gettin' the

Mail.

Megan: perfect. Do you wanna

Help me with somethin'?

Drake: I can't. I'm doin' my

Homework.

Megan: you're watching tv.

Drake: ah, well, that explains

Why I'm failing math, doesn't

It?

Megan: c'mon! Don't you wanna

Help me pull a prank on josh?

Drake: what kinda prank?

Megan: well, see this boom box?

Drake: yeah?

Megan: it's not really a boom

Box.

Drake: what do you mean?

Megan: it fires paint balls.

Drake: ok, how did you get a

Boom box to fire paint balls?

Megan: I know a guy. Now, when

Josh comes in, all you have to

Do is get him to stand right

Here. And then, I'll blast him.

Drake: wait a second. How do I

Know you're not just gonna pull

Your little prank on me?

Megan: drake, if I were gonna

Pull the prank on you, would I

Tell you about it?

Drake: nah, I guess not.

Megan: see, it's fun to use your

Megan: see, it's fun to use your brain!

Brain!

Drake: uh, hey, josh, do me a

Favor.

Josh: what?

Drake: um, come stand right here

And tell me if you feel a draft.

Josh: a draft? In the living

Room?

Drake: yeah, just check and see.

Drake: yeah, just check and see. Josh: all right.

Josh: all right.

I don't feel anything.

I don't feel anything. I'll try the other finger.

I'll try the other finger.

Megan: perfect!

Josh: what just happened?!

Drake: you said you were gonna

Get josh!

Josh: heh?!

Josh: heh?! Megan: fine.

Megan: fine.

Megan: fine. Megan: happy?

Megan: happy?

♪ I never thought

That it'd be so simple,

But I found a way,

I found a way,

If you open up your mind,

See what's inside,

It's gonna take some time

To realize,

But if you look inside,

I'm sure you'll find

Over your shoulder

You know that I told you

I'd always be picking you up

When you're down,

So just turn around,

So just turn around, ohhhhh ♪

Ohhhhh ♪

Drake: uh, let's see...

A-squared times x over the

Square root of ?

Josh: correct. All right, next

Question...

Drake: can't I go to bed

Already? It's like : in

The morning.

Josh: you have to get at least a

B on your test tomorrow, or

You're gonna have to repeat

Algebra ...again.

Drake: ok, go.

Josh: all right. "The

Distributive property is used to

Multiply a single term and two

Or more terms inside a--"

[Clatter]

Drake: what was that?

Josh: I dunno.

[Clatter]

Drake: sounds like it's comin'

From the garage.

Josh: an intruder?! We better go

Wake up dad!

Drake: yeah, I don't think a

Burglar's gonna be afraid of a

Weatherman wearing footsie

Pajamas. Just come on.

Josh: wait, wait, wait!

Drake: what?

Josh: you have a golf club. I

Need a w*apon.

Drake: oh, uh...oh, here.

Josh: oh, perfect. You hit him,

And I'll make him smell like a

Springtime meadow!

Springtime meadow! Drake: just c'mon!

Drake: just c'mon!

Both: aah!

[Screaming, spraying air

Freshener, clothes tearing]

Drake: wait, I got him! I got

Him!

Josh: that's me!

Drake: oh, sorry!

Josh: he's behind you!

[Fighting noises]

[Fighting noises] josh: hyah! Hyah!

Josh: hyah! Hyah!

Josh: you hit me repeatedly!

Drake: you sprayed me with air

Freshener!

Josh: I thought you were the

Intruder!

Drake: I thought you were!

Drake: I thought you were! [Baa]

[Baa]

Josh: what up with the sheep?

Megan: why are you guys in the

Garage?! Did you hurt my sheep?!

Drake: wait, that thing's yours?

Megan: yes, he's mine. Are you

Ok, baaahhb?

Josh: his name is "bob"?

Megan: no. He's a sheep. His

Name is "baaahhb."

Drake: see, it's not bob, it's

Baaahhb.

Josh: yes, I get it. And here's

A crazy question. Where'd you

Get a sheep?

Megan: I bought him on the

Internet.

Josh: oh, well, excuse me for

Not being familiar with

The-sheep-store-dot-com.

Drake: I thought mom and dad

Said you couldn't have a pet.

Megan: no, they said I couldn't

Have a cat. They said nothing

About a sheep.

Josh: yeah, well, when mom and

Dad find "baaahhb," you're gonna

Be in some big-time trouble,

Little girl.

Megan: no, they're not gonna

Find him because you two are

Gonna hide him in your room.

Josh: oh, really?

Drake: and what makes you think

We're gonna do that?

Megan: well...if you two hide

Him, just till I figure out a

Way to explain him to mom and

Dad...

Josh: yeah?

Drake: what?

Megan: I promise not to pull any

Pranks on you for three months.

Josh: for real?!

Drake: you swear?!

Megan: swear.

Josh: think about it.

Drake: a world where megan

Doesn't do bad things to us.

Doesn't do bad things to us. [Pretty music playing]

[Pretty music playing]

[Pretty music playing] both: we'll do it.

Both: we'll do it.

Megan: excellent.

Drake: but just for a few days.

Megan: that's all I need.

Now, you take baaahhb up to your

Room and make him comfortable.

And be sure he has plenty of

Water. Good night.

[Baa]

Josh: all right. Come on. We

Should take bob up to our room.

Should take bob up to our room. Drake: josh. It's baaahhb.

Drake: josh. It's baaahhb.

Drake: you know what I say?

Josh: what do you say?

Drake: I say we celebrate

With...

Pudding!

Josh: I've never seen anybody

Get so pumped up over an on

An algebra test.

Drake: ah, but an brings me

Up to a average, which means

I don't have to repeat algebra

Again.

Josh: well, then a toast.

To your d-minus.

Drake: praise d!

Josh: and another toast.

To no pranks from megan for

Whole months.

Drake: which also calls for

Pudding.

Oh! Speaking of that, I better

Get upstairs so I can feed,

Uh...

Baaahhb. Be right back.

Josh: I'm gonna get us some

Josh: I'm gonna get us some drinks.

Drinks.

Drake: josh!

Josh: what?!

[Dish shatters]

Drake: josh!

Drake: josh! Josh: oh!

Josh: oh!

Josh: what?! What do you keep

Screaming...

What did you do?!

Drake: I didn't do anything.

It was him. The sheep did this.

Josh: how could the sheep do--

Oh, no!

My oprah.

Drake: josh. Josh, he didn't

Know what he was doing. Josh!

Josh: I'll k*ll him!

You went to far, baaahhb!

[Both yelling]

Drake: calm down!

Josh: I'm calm!

Megan: hey, what's going on?

Josh: yeah!

Drake: you see this?!

Megan: what did you do to

Baaahhb?

Drake: baaahhb?!

Josh: look at our room!

Drake: you're worried about him?

Megan: yes!

He's breathing all weird.

Josh: well, maybe he's just

Sick.

Megan: then drive us to a vet.

Josh: right!

Drake: in what car? Mom and dad

Aren't home.

Josh: oh, man!

Megan: what are we gonna do?

Drake: oh! Dr. Glazer across the

Street.

Megan: he's a people doctor.

Josh: so? It's better than

Nothing. Go downstairs, get his

Number, and give him a call,

All right? Don't worry, megan,

All right? Here, I'll get a

Blanket for baaahhb to keep him

Warm until the doctor--

Megan: what?

Josh: baaahhb left me a little

Surprise in my bed.

Surprise in my bed. Megan: aw, good baaahhb.

Megan: aw, good baaahhb.

Megan: where's the doctor?

Drake: I don't know. He said

He'd be right over.

[Doorbell rings]

Dr. Glazer: hello.

Megan: what took you so long?!

Dr. Glazer: I was eating my

Wheat squares.

Josh: please, come in, come in.

Will you please go upstairs and

Check on baaahhb?

Dr. Glazer: who's baaahhb?

Megan: my sheep!

Dr. Glazer: but you told me your

Father fell down the stairs

Again.

Drake: look, if you just go

Check on the sheep, I promise

I'll push my dad down the stairs

Later.

Dr. Glazer: ahem! Yes, well,

I'm not a veterinarian.

Josh: no, please. Just go see

What's wrong.

Megan: he seems really sick.

Dr. Glazer: all right. Bring the

Wheat squares.

Josh: for the sheep?

Josh: for the sheep? Dr. Glazer: no, I'm hungry.

Dr. Glazer: no, I'm hungry.

Dr. Glazer: all right. Where is

He?

Drake: whoa!

Megan: oh...my...god!

[Lamb bleats]

Josh: so that's why he's been

Acting so weird.

Drake: uh, she.

Dr. Glazer: yes, well...

I'm not a vet, but if you want

My diagnosis, I'd say that

Baaahhb was pregnant.

Was pregnant. Not anymore.

That's $.

Megan: oh! Look at the baby.

Aww!

Drake: all right, look, we'll

Pay you a hundred bucks, but can

You just do us a favor and,

Like--

Josh: not mention the sheep to

Our parents?

Our parents? Dr. Glazer: all right. .

Dr. Glazer: all right. .

Dr. Glazer: thank you.

[Baa]

[Baa] [baa]

[Baa]

Drake: aww. Yeah. You hungry,

Little lamb? I know. Don't

Worry. Uncle drake's gonna give

You a nice treat.

[Baa]

Josh: what's up, drake?

I found a place that sells sheep

Food.

What are you doing?

Drake: I'm making the baby a

Bottle.

Josh: mocha cola?

You're gonna feed soda to the

Baby sheep?!

Drake: diet soda.

Josh: give me that!

Drake: oh, so you found sheep

Food.

Josh: yeah, but I had to drive,

Like, miles to get it, and it

Cost us bucks for one bag.

Drake: all right. You know what?

This whole thing has gotten way

Out of control.

Josh: we should just tell mom

And dad about this and be done

With it.

Drake: uh-huh. No way.

Josh: why? This is all megan's

Fault, not ours.

Drake: yeah, but now we're

Involved, man. I'm not gonna

Risk getting grounded again.

You know what it's like to go

Weeks without girls?

Josh: yes.

Yes, I do.

Drake: oh, yeah. Sorry.

But I'm not used to it.

Where is megan anyway?

Josh: she at oboe practice.

Audrey: hi, boys!

Walter: we're home.

Drake: uh...hi, mom!

Josh: hey, dad.

Drake: hey, go close the door

Before baaahhb gets out.

Josh: whew.

Drake: uh, josh.

Josh: yeah?

Drake: where is baaahhb?

Josh: I don't know.

Drake: baaahhb?

Drake: baaahhb? Josh: baaahhb!

Josh: baaahhb!

Josh: baaahhb! Josh: give me the lamb!

Josh: give me the lamb!

Josh: stay!

[Baa]

[Baa] aarrgghhh!

Aarrgghhh!

Josh: hey, mom.

Drake: hey, mom.

Audrey: hi, boys.

Josh: um...so you're home?

Audrey: yeah, I'm home.

Drake: and how was your day?

Audrey: good.

Josh: um, so where's dad?

Audrey: in the garage, checking

On something in the car.

Drake: oh!

Audrey: what?!

Drake: uh...

Something in my eye!

Josh: something in his eye!

Audrey: let me take a look.

Drake: yes! You look in my eye.

Josh: and I will, uh...

Go make smoothies.

Audrey: smoothies?

Drake: yes! Great idea! Go!

Audrey: why is josh acting all--

Drake: my eye! Oh! My eye! Oh!

Josh: baaahhb? Baaahhb?

Josh: baaahhb? Baaahhb? Come on, baaahhb?

Come on, baaahhb?

[Making bird call]

Drake: uh, hey, did you find the

Smoothie stuff?

Josh: no! The stuff seems to

Be...gaaahne!

Drake: then maybe you oughta go

Check in the garage.

Josh: right!

Audrey: no, wait. What would

Smoothie stuff be doing--

Drake: oh! My eye and the pain!

Ow! Look. Blow in it, please.

Oh. Yes. Ow. See?

Josh: dad!

Walter: ow! Josh!

Josh: sorry, dad. There, I got

It. I got it.

Walter: ow.

Josh: so, what you doin'?

Walter: well, I keep hearing

This pinging sound whenever--

Josh: oh!

Walter: oh! What?!

Josh: uh...i mean, I'm just, um,

I'm so alarmed by the pinging

Sound your car's making. Why

Don't I help you take a look?

Walter: all right, then. Uh,

Well, it might be coming from

The alternator, unless--ow!

Whoa! Josh, what are you doing?

Josh: I don't know! The hood

Just fell, and now it's stuck!

Here, I'll call drake for help!

Drake! Drake!

Drake: oh, sounds like smoothie

Drake: oh, sounds like smoothie trouble. Back in a sec.

Trouble. Back in a sec.

Audrey: smoothie trouble?

Walter: pull...up...the...hood!

Josh: I'm trying! The hood

Flange is just...it's flanging!

Walter: what does that mean?!

Drake: what?!

Josh: drake! Dad seems to be

Stuck under the hood, and now

He's trapped! Why don't you come

Help me pull up the hood, and

Hurry!

Drake: right, right!

Josh: don't worry, dad! We're

Helping you, buddy! I got it,

Buddy! And...weird! It just flew

Buddy! And...weird! It just flew up. Like, that's weird, right?

Up. Like, that's weird, right?

Walter: what happened?

Josh: I don't know. The hinge...

Locked.

Walter: well, isn't that the

Oddest thing.

Josh: isn't it?

Walter: yeah.

Josh: hey, do you want a

Smoothie?

Walter: a smoothie?

Josh: ok, I'll get you one!

Josh: ok, I'll get you one! Walter: but...what--

Walter: but...what--

There's the culprit.

[Horn honks]

Walter: oh! Ow! Whoa! Jeez! Oh,

Walter: oh! Ow! Whoa! Jeez! Oh, come on! Help!

Come on! Help!

Josh: why didn't you bring the

Sheep up to our room?

Drake: I couldn't? What if mom

Turns around and sees me?

Turns around and sees me? Josh: well...

Josh: well...

Josh: well... Shh.

Shh.

Audrey: what in the world?!

Josh: go now! Come on.

Walter: honey, have you seen

Where josh went?

Audrey: no, but the weirdest

Thing just happened.

Walter: what's that?

Audrey: this lamp just, like,

Exploded out of nowhere.

Walter: well, that's peculiar.

Walter: well, that's peculiar. Maybe it--

Maybe it--

What's this avocado doing on the

Floor?

Floor? Audrey: I don't know.

Audrey: I don't know.

Audrey: I don't know. [Baa]

[Baa]

[Baa]

Josh: well, we did it.

Drake: yeah.

Josh: come on, baaahhb. Now, you

Stay here with the baby and

Baaabbh. I'm gonna go downstairs

And make sure mom and dad aren't

Suspicious. Aah! They're

Suspicious!

Suspicious! [Sheep bleats]

[Sheep bleats]

Audrey: well, we came up here to

Ask why you guys are acting so

Strange tonight.

Walter: but maybe a better

Question would be, um, why do

You have sheep in your room?

Josh: technically, the little

One's called a lamb, but if you

Don't wanna--

Walter: josh?

Drake: yeah, all right. You know

What? This is all megan's fault.

Audrey: here we go again.

Josh: no, it is! Ok, she bought

The big one on-line.

Drake: and then it gave birth on

My bed.

Josh: and the whole thing's been

Really upsetting.

Walter: ok. So you want us to

Believe that a sweet, little

-Year-old girl somehow managed

To go on the internet and buy

Herself a pregnant sheep.

Josh: it does sound unlikely.

Drake: it's true!

Josh: it's true!

Megan: hey, what's going on?

Drake: ha! Now she can tell you

Herself.

Josh: yeah, you put down your

Oboe, and tell them what you

Did.

Megan: what are you guys

Talking--wow, a sheep! How cute!

Aw. Where'd you guys get him?

[Both stammer]

Josh: you know...good and well--

Drake: how long are we grounded?

Audrey: a month.

Josh: fair enough.

[Lamb bleats, and josh bleats

[Lamb bleats, and josh bleats back]

Back]

Josh: all right, that's it.

Days. Tomorrow, we are free men.

Drake: it's about time.

Josh: you know, I kind of miss

Baaabbh. You?

Drake: yeah, a little, but that

Sheep's way better off at that

Petting zoo.

Josh: yeah, no doubt.

Josh: yeah, no doubt. [Drake gargles]

[Drake gargles]

Josh: ok. Does it really make

Sense to brush your teeth, and

Then rinse with mountain fizz?

Drake: you see, I have a little

Theory--

[Clatter]

Josh: what was that?

Josh: what was that? Drake: I don't know.

Drake: I don't know.

Drake: I don't know. [Neighing]

[Neighing]

[Neighing] megan: what's up?

Megan: what's up?

[Thumping sound]

Drake: you hear that?

Josh: yeah. That's definitely

Coming from the garage.

Drake: ok, I'll go this way, you

Go in through the side door.

Josh: right.

Josh: right. Drake: ready?

Drake: ready?

Josh: ready.

Josh: ready. Man: mmm!