02x12 - The Gary Grill

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

you know they say the best things in

life are free

a lot of people tell you money isn't

important they're lying

okay there may be things that are more

important than money

money isn't everything but without money

hey whoa what's happening with my box

it's getting way too small

okay why am i in a triangle

hello can we increase the size of my box

please

can i go back to a square or a rectangle

okay now i'm too big i'm upside down

here

a little smaller blood rushing in my

head

what is going on i think we're having a

technical glitch

what's up brothers megan get off the

screen

hey she's got the video of xbox pet

figures

let's see what this thing can do

how cool is this

all right megan you're in big trouble

yeah wait until we tell mom what you did

it's good being me

hi can i help you uh yeah can i just get

uh

josh check this out drink i'm with the

customer

so this is important excuse me

what looks

the gummy bears are making out

dude you slapped my bears

and then you made my customer leave who

cares

i do helen's been all over my butt to

sell more snacks

uh you know you really shouldn't use the

words butt and snacks in the same

sentence

headaches all right you want to sell

some more snacks

here i'll help you work this lady what

do you mean

hello how small is your smallest popcorn

oh no no that's huge i could never

digest

that much corn

but haven't you read the medical report

that says

popcorn is uh good for senior citizens

oh yeah uh the medical report that said

uh

popcorn helps the elderly to

not die rise

i do enjoy living

one large popcorn please yes ma'am

and you want a soda right oh no no no i

i don't believe in liquids

but ma'am you're you're gonna have to

drink something or else uh

you know the popcorn might clog your

var bogus valve oh yeah start following

this valve you don't want that clogged

you know i think that's how henry went

[Music]

very well i will take your largest cup

of

pop excellent

thank you oh no thank you for the gift

of life

hey you guys are pretty good salesman

thanks do we try uh my name's buddy this

is guy

so what's going on how'd you guys like

to use those sales skills to make a

little extra cash

uh what do you mean show em buddy

ah a grill

it's kind of small it's a gary coleman

grill cooks one hamburger at a time or

pork chop or a steak

any meat really it's perfect for a

bachelor bachelorette anyone who likes

to cook or eat

or listen to music

what it also has a built-in

mp3 player so you can cook some meat and

listen to some tunes

wait so they combined a grill with an

mp3 player

finally i'll take two oh no no no

we're not trying to sell you one we want

you guys

to sell each one is 39.95 for everyone

you sell

you keep 20

interested perhaps

but uh let me discuss it with my

associate back in a sec

what do you think let's see uh each

grill is about 40 bucks right

we keep 20 of everyone we sell it makes

800 a grill

we'll do this

well if we sold like 100 girls a week we

make a fortune right

yeah we would awesome

well okay we're in all right cool

why don't you meet us in the parking lot

about 15 minutes we'll start you guys

off with 100 grills

awesome all right

excuse me excuse me

that that medical report that you boys

mentioned

did it say anything about nachos

i found a way

it's gonna take some time to realize

over your shoulders

[Music]

[Music]

oh

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so mama what you doing i'm making dinner

wow you know cooking sure requires lots

of pots and pans and hard work

if only there was an easier way

what if i told you there was an easier

way

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i'd say that's crazy crazy like

this grill what

the gary coleman grill all right what is

that thing

what isn't this thing it cooks steaks

burgers chops chicken

oh so it just cooks things

no it's also

an mp3 player

whoa how much does it cost a billion

dollars

nope it's only 39.95

impossible hey

if i buy one will you two stop talking

in those annoying voices

deal hey

why don't you buy six cause i'm not an

idiot

honey look i bought a gary coleman grill

great now we've got seven of them

[Music]

there you are for the last time the

answer

is no then you're not my brother anymore

that's right what's the problem

stay out of this randy sell me a grill

why should i because it's not fair you

got 100 gary coleman grill slash mp3

players and i didn't even get one gary

coleman grill slash mp3 player

why do you want one so bad because i

want to be able to

grill meats and play music at the same

time and that's the only machine that

does it

so why don't you go out and buy one you

know i can't

i'm not available in america yet

yeah that's why i bought a hundred from

my friend in japan

so sell me one but if i sell you one

then i have to sell

everybody want yeah man if you sell

drapeline but i want one

come on okay

i give up i guess i'll just have to sell

everyone at gary coleman grill

slash mp3 players put your money in the

sack yourself

[Music]

how much we got left uh let's see after

all the uh

stuff we bought we still got

a little over a thousand bucks left man

i cannot believe i can afford to buy

clothes like this

well i can't believe we can afford our

own food hockey table i know

let's play okay

man do you realize if we keep selling

these grills like this we're going to be

set for life

find cancer security

[Music]

all right you guys bought all this stuff

selling those stupid grills

yep jealous much

yeah i wanted what

i want to sell some grills give me some

grills no way

stick to your lemonade stands little

girl

okay fine but just remember

i'm younger than you one day you'll both

be old and sick

that's when you'll need me but i'll be

in europe laughing it up while the two

of you

are lying in bed gagging on your own

saliva

well that was cheerful

forget her soda me oh

with our new remote control soda sh**t

do it

[Music]

hey look we only got about 15 grills

left oh no prob

buddy and guy are dropping off a hundred

more tonight

oh that must be our four o'clock

massages

i wonder which one's mine

thank you all right okay everyone is

gonna have to disperse

sorry sorry we just need to take a

little inventory

and count on money uh but don't worry

come back in 30 minutes and we'll be

ready to sell more

gary grylls oh

you are the best brother well i'm

thinking you are oh i think

you are you're trying to start a fight

yeah

a money fight

excuse us we don't mean to interrupt

your money fight

but a friend of ours told us you were

selling gary coleman grill

see your friend is wise

so uh how many do you want well tell you

what uh we'll take them all

wait you want all of them that's right

sorry we only accept cash these are

badges

dude cash only i don't think you

understand

drake parker josh nichols yes yeah

you're under arrest

possession and sale of stolen property

stolen the grills

that's right we were just selling them

for these two guys yeah we didn't know

they were stolen

right sure come with us please

drake yeah i've

read about prison and

okay it ain't fun

[Music]

wait wait you can't lock me in here i'm

on the honor roll

[Music]

drake do something yeah what do you want

me to do tell them we didn't steal those

grills i did they don't believe us

i don't belong in prison prison is for

scum

and lowlifes

[Music]

except for you guys

i'm sure you're all wonderful people

maybe later we can all get together no

let me have you here

i have a piano lesson

don't freak out all right we'll figure a

way out of this but until then

just be cool okay these kids are tough

right

hiya so

where do you go to school

you know what color your guts are

no i do

is your father a surgeon

not a good friend for you

hey give me your shoes

i'm not giving you my shoes

[Music]

drake give him your shoes well these

have

special art supports

parker nichols i need to talk to you oh

thank you thank you

[Laughter]

try and hurt me now

he hurt me with my own underwear

well looks like you two boys are in some

serious trouble

no we didn't do anything well then how

come your partner's sweating so much

it's hereditary i come from a family of

moistmen

look i told you we're innocent look all

i know is last month

a truckload of gary coleman grills were

stolen out of whippany new jersey

eyewitnesses say the thieves were two

clean-cut caucasian males

there you go we're not caucasian we're

white guys

go ahead we know you two stole the

grills why don't you just admit it

look i told you we were at the premiere

and and two guys came up to us and

offered us a job selling grills

okay what were the names of these two

guys um well well one of their names was

a

guy a guy

what was his buddy's name

buddy

i see and did they have a third partner

named pal

what about dude with dude in on it with

them

hey i think you're mocking us

i just want to know one thing

why combine a personal grill with an mp3

player now that is bizarre

i don't know we didn't make them no you

just stole them

right josh confessed i did not well then

you lied to him

how many songs does it hold up leave me

alone i'm confused and

[Music]

sweaty

okay you guys get one phone call each

i only get two chances to dab his phone

yeah better call mom and dad

right

wait hang on denise i got another call

on the other line

hello megan listen it's drake me and

josh are in jail

yeah right

what she hung up on me

give me the phone

wait hang on denise got another call

hello megan it's josh where's mom and

dad

look i'm on the other line with denise

megan it's important

hang on let me get off my other call

denise i gotta go my big boob of a

brother's on the other line

still me josh what's your problem

denise and i are trying to talk about

ponies megan

listen to me drake and i are in jail i

swear

wait you're seriously in jail yes

those gary girls were stolen now listen

to me we're supposed to meet the grill

guys at the premiere in an hour

so tell mom and dad what

the ponies lay eggs

this is important now would you stop

playing around give me

[Music]

megan

[Music]

all yours

man where's striking josh i don't know

he told him five right

you're supposed to be here at five hello

hi hi what's up you waiting for drake

and josh maybe

and who are you their sister and how can

we help you

i want to sell grills

what are you talking about look let's

not play around i can sell stuff way

better than drake and josh can

that means i can make you guys more

money than them but i doubt it

do you

excuse me ma'am yes i don't mean to

bother you but if i don't sell these

girls

my daddy makes me sleep in the backyard

can you please buy one i miss my bed

of course how much are they 39.95 each

or two for a hundred i'll take both

here's a hundred

thank you

[Music]

well okay

you're good i know can you drop off the

girls at my house i sell them when we

split the profits 50 50.

50 50. you're on your mind yeah we were

only paying your brothers 20

look i know the girls are stolish

why would you say that because i'm not

stupid and i want 50

you're not getting half yeah we stole

the grills

we took the risk oh okay

that's all i needed to hear gentlemen

buddy guy meet the fbi fbi mean buddy

you set us up yeah i did she's wearing a

wire

yeah it was did it sweetie good going

megan

come with us please turn around hands

behind your back

let's go buddy actually i'm guy

guy yeah i've read about prison

and it ain't fun

excuse me are you this little girl's

father

yes i am how dare you make her sleep in

the yard

[Music]

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

sorry what happens

mom dad parker nichols you're free to go

we're getting out how come because your

sister worked with the fbi and helped

him set up a sting

which helped him find the guys who

really stole the grills

megan you helped us don't get used to it

so are drake and josh free to go almost

there is somebody who does want to say

one thing to them

mr coleman

well you're gary coleman i know who i am

what are you doing here i'm sure he's

here to thank you for finding his stolen

grills

actually no that's not why i'm here

you sold all my grills so i'm here to

collect the money

oh we kind of spent it yeah

we're really sorry

[Laughter]

you know i know you didn't spend all my

money

because if you did i'd be really upset

[Music]

oh your money yeah yeah

they're money we have your money where's

my money uh

we left it in this cell right here yeah

right right under the bench

right guys it took years

[Music]

she at home right behind you

drake josh you better come back here

agent hey

give me your shoes back off sorry

i want the two mermaid tables and i want

the vibrating chair

uh i want the rocket bubblegum machine i

want the lava lamp

soda machine yes the soda machine i

forgot the hockey table

i want the hockey table and i want the

translucent chair

oh please can we keep the chair have you

sat in it

yes keep it