Ok.
Women...
Sometimes can be tricky.
Girls are so easy
Girls are so easy to figure out.
To figure out.
Like, when I was in the
Fourth grade, this girl named
Becky hummus said she had a
Crush on me.
Like last year, this girl,
Alison fletcher, asked me
Out.
But becky didn't really like
Me.
But alison wasn't really
Into me.
She just knew that every day
In my sack lunch I brought
Doodle cakes.
She was just trying to make
Her ex-boyfriend jealous.
I was being used.
I was being used. I was being used.
I was being used.
That semester, she ate almost
Every doodle cake I brought to
School.
Then she got back together
With her ex-boyfriend.
By the end of fourth grade,
By the end of fourth grade, she weighed over pounds.
She weighed over pounds.
I kind of missed alison, so I
Started making out with her
Sister.
And now, becky hummus wears
Gigantic pants.
I think her sister kisses
Even better.
You know, they make fat free
Doodle cakes now.
I wonder if they have a third
Sister?
Sister? But it's too late for becky.
But it's too late for becky.
Ok, so I think we should set
The transformer to volts.
Yeah, I don't think we're
Gonna need that much power if
We're using mirrors to hyper
Focus the pulse beam.
You know what I'm hyper
Focusing on right now?
Tell me.
Your lips.
Josh, you make me tingle like
A jigawatt capacitor.
Hey, josh.
Whack job.
Underachiever.
What is all this stuff?
They are items for our
Science fair project.
Paws off!
Wait.
You two are working together on
A science fair project?
What happened to the big rivalry
Between you two?
Well, now that we're a
Couple, we decided to combine
Our brain power and work as a
Team.
Yeah.
We're building a hyperbolic
Photon cannon.
Wow!
I'm hungry.
And now that he's gone.
Hey!
Hey! Both: ow!
Both: ow!
What do you want?
There are a couple of guys
Outside stealing your bike.
Oh!
And I just lubed the chain.
And I just lubed the chain. Hands off my ride!
Hands off my ride!
Maybe I should call the
Police.
Nah.
Nobody's stealing his bike.
What'd you tell him that for?
You got him all upset for
Nothing.
Nothing. Yeah.
Yeah.
♪ I never thought
That it'd be so simple, but
I found a way,
I found a way,
If you open up your mind,
It's gonna take some time
To realign
But if you look inside
I'm sure you'll find,
Over your shoulder,
You know that I told you
I'll always be picking you up
When you're down,
So just turn around,
So just turn around, ooh-ooh-ooh, oooooooh ♪
Ooh-ooh-ooh, oooooooh ♪
Cool laptop.
Thanks.
Ew, what website is this?
That's skin illnesses.com.
I was just looking up some stuff
For my biology homework.
Why is this guy's face all
Purplish?
He's got the bangkok river
Rash.
Sweet!
Sweet! What's sweet?
What's sweet?
What are you eating?
A big cookie.
A big cookie. That was my big cookie.
That was my big cookie.
That was my big cookie. Want it back?
Want it back?
Hey, uh, this skin disease
Website.
Yeah.
Email me the link, would you?
Are you gonna do something
Bad to drake?
Probably.
Probably. Excellent.
Excellent.
There was no one stealing my
Bike.
I know.
Later.
Hey, uh, what are you doing
With the plasma coil?
Recalibrating the pulse rate
To megahertz.
I thought we agreed on
Megahertz to keep the photon
Ball small.
Will you trust me on this.
I have won the science fair the
I have won the science fair the past years in a row.
Past years in a row.
I knew it.
What?
You don't respect my
Scientific intellect.
Of course I do.
Look, obviously we both have
Totally different ideas when it
Comes to hyperbolic photon
Cannon rays, so...
Why don't we each just make our
Own photon cannon for the
Science fair?
Well...
And that way, we can spend
Less time arguing and more time
Kissing.
Ooh...
Ok.
We'll each make our own
Photon cannon.
That's my boy.
Ooh, I better get home.
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's almost :.
It's almost :.
Now are you sure you're ok
With this?
Are you sure you're ok with
Are you sure you're ok with this?
This?
This? Very ok with that.
Very ok with that.
Very ok with that. I love you.
I love you.
I love you. See you in chemistry.
See you in chemistry.
See you in chemistry. [Screams]
[Screams]
For .
Drake!
Hang on. I'm busy.
Mindy just told me
She loves me.
She loves me. What?
What?
Mindy told you she loves you?
Yes!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,
No, no, no, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no.
Ok, now you tell me.
Tell me exactly how you
Responded when mindy said,
I love you.
[Stuttering] I didn't know
What to say, so, I just said,
See you in chemistry, and then I
Slammed the door in her face.
Josh, when a girl says, I
Love you, that is the time to
Love you, that is the time to cut and run.
Cut and run.
You mean break up with her?
Yes.
Now, there are a few ways you
Can do this.
Drake, I don't want to break
Up with her.
You could fake your own
Death.
Now that's the cleanest way, but
It might freak mom and dad out.
You'd have to move to another
State.
Drake, will you listen to me.
You could always become a
Woman, but it involves all that
Surgery, and then you'd have
To--
Drake!
Drake! What if I love her back?
What if I love her back?
Why'd you slap me?
'Cause you're talking crazy.
'Cause you're talking crazy. I might love her.
I might love her.
Whoa, your cheeks make
Different sounds when they're
Slapped.
What?
Check it out.
Check it out. They're like a semi-tone apart.
They're like a semi-tone apart.
Are you done assaulting my
Face?
Do you seriously think you
Might be in love with mindy?
I don't know.
Maybe.
Maybe. I gotta think this through.
I gotta think this through.
Oh, and you know what else?
Oh, and you know what else? What?
What?
"Skin diseases." Let's see.
"Derma temeculitis.
A rare skin affliction which
Causes the hands and feet to
Turn a sickly greenish color."
Nice.
Cure, cure, cure.
Ah.
"The only known cure requires an
Unusually painful series of
Injections by needle into the
Afflicted areas."
Awesome.
"There are some rumored home
Remedies, but they're highly
Unpleasant and may or may not be
Affected in curing
Affected in curing derma temeculitis."
Derma temeculitis."
Derma temeculitis." Interesting.
Interesting.
Interesting. [Tv plays]
[Tv plays]
Mindy, it's great that you
Love me, and, and...
And I have strong feelings for
You, too, but, no that sounds
You, too, but, no that sounds lame, uh...
Lame, uh...
Mindy...
I am in the process of becoming
A woman, so I worried--
Oh, my god, josh!
What's wrong, what happened?
Whoa!!!
Why are your hands green?
I don't know.
I woke up,
Went to the bathroom, and my
Hands were green.
Did you try washing them?
Yeah.
For minutes, man,
I even used soap.
Just calm down.
We'll look it up online.
I'm just gonna go around you.
Hurry.
Ok.
I'll go to, uh,
What'swrongwithmybody.com
What'swrongwithmybody.com?
I have it bookmarked.
And we'll go to skin illness,
Green, hands, gross.
What's it say?
Derma temeculitis.
What's that?
"A rare skin disease that
Causes the hands and feet to
Turn a sickly greenish color."
All right, well, I don't have
That because my feet
Are all green!
Whoa!!!
Just show me how to cure it.
Ok, ok, ok.
Ok, it says here, that the only
Known cure for derma temeculitis
Is a series of unusually painful
Injections by needle.
Oh, man.
I hate unusually painful
Injections.
We better get you to a
Doctor.
Oh, no way.
Dude, as soon as mom and dad
Find out--
They are not gonna find out,
Ok?
What else does it say?
Ok, uh...
Ok, it says here that some
Doctors claim success curing
Derma temeculitis by treating
The inflicted areas with zyfolic
Acid.
Where do I get zyfolic acid?
Zyfolic acid can be found in
The urine of most lizards.
Awesome.
So I just got to stick my hands
And feet in...
And feet in... Lizard urine?
Lizard urine?
Hey, pudding cup.
Hi, josh.
You're mad.
I'm not mad.
My nose is slightly bruised from
Where your door hit me in the
Face.
Face. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
It's just that...
When you said you loved me,
It kind of caught me off guard.
Yeah, that was just the
Impression I got when you
Responded by saying, "see you in
Chemistry," then running away
Chemistry," then running away like a frightened little girl.
Like a frightened little girl.
I know you wanted me to say I
Love you back, but I just don't
Think I should say it unless I'm
Sure I feel it, you know?
Ok.
Fair enough.
I mean, I don't want to push you
Into saying something you don't
Mean, so why don't you just
Think about it over the weekend.
I'm not in any rush.
Oh, really?
Really.
You're the best.
I know.
All right.
I gotta go do some work.
I gotta go do some work. You, zip up your pants.
You, zip up your pants.
Hey, man.
Got the lizards.
Oh, cool, cool.
So when do you get the urine?
Uh, that would be up to the
Lizards.
Hey, speaking of cold-blooded
Reptiles, how did it go with
Mindy?
Great.
I just told her the truth.
Good.
So you broke up with her.
No.
I told her I wasn't sure how I
Was feeling, and she gave me the
Weekend to think
Weekend to think about it.
About it.
Dude, no girl tells her
Boyfriend she loves him and is
That cool when he doesn't say it
Back.
She was.
Dude, I'm telling you, that's
Dude, I'm telling you, that's an impos-
An impos-
Wait a second.
Aren't you two supposed to be
Finishing up your science fair
Projects this weekend?
Yeah, so?
So, she's messing with your
Head, man.
She's trying to distract you so
She can b*at you again.
Drake, mindy's not like that,
Ok, and I'm sure she's just as
Distracted by this as I am.
I don't appreciate you--
Hi, guys.
Hey.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What's all this?
Just some components for my
Science fair project.
Got a lot of work to do this
Weekend.
Later.
Yeah.
She looks pretty distracted.
You're right.
This whole "I love you" thing is
Just a scheme to wig me out so I
Won't be able to focus on my
Project.
I told him so.
Well, I will not wig, ok?
Yeah, 'cause this is the year
That mindy crenshaw will finally
Back down to my superior
Scientific ability.
Dude, check your zipper.
Man, what is wrong with this
Thing?
Thing? Why does it keep slipping down?
Why does it keep slipping down?
Ethan, you made a watermelon
Lamp last year.
This one's seedless.
This one's seedless. Disqualified.
Disqualified.
Who's next?
Ah, finally someone decent.
Mindy crenshaw.
Thank you, mr. Farrow.
My project this year is a fully
Operational photon cannon.
Crowd: ooh...
Impressive.
Please, demonstrate.
Gladly.
Gladly. Observe the paper.
Observe the paper.
[Applause]
Oh, mindy.
You never disappoint.
No, I don't.
Excellent.
Excellent work.
Ok, last up, we have
Josh nichols.
Right over here.
What do you have for us?
Well, mr. Farrow,
I, too, have built a
Photon cannon.
But I think you might find mine
A bit more impressive than
Mindy's.
Please observe the -inch thick
Board...
Of wood.
Of wood. Bye bye, board.
Bye bye, board.
Bye bye, board. Hello, first prize.
Hello, first prize.
[Applause]
Thank you!
Thank you, I know.
Thank you.
My goodness.
In my years of teaching, that
May be the most impressive
Display of scientific
Hole burning I've ever seen.
I think the choice is clear.
Josh nichols, I hereby award you
Josh nichols, I hereby award you first prize.
First prize.
Thank you, mr. Farrow.
All right, in true science
Fair tradition, everyone's
Invited to the next room for
Invited to the next room for juice and pudding.
Juice and pudding.
Congratulations.
You finally b*at me.
Is someone upset their little
Plan didn't work, hmm?
Excuse me?
I know what you
Tried to pull.
Good, then tell me,
'Cause I don't.
The whole "I love you" thing.
You didn't mean it.
You were just trying to rattle
Me so you could b*at me in the
Science fair again.
Science fair again. Well, ha ha, and ha.
Well, ha ha, and ha.
Ok, look, I was never gonna
To tell you this.
Never gonna tell me what?
I let you win.
Yeah, right.
It's true.
Why would you let me win?
Because I felt bad that I'd
Beaten you for the past years,
And I know how important this
Science fair is to you, so I
Wanted you to win for once.
You make me laugh.
[Chuckles]
Well, you want to laugh
Well, you want to laugh harder?
Harder?
Harder? Laugh at this.
Laugh at this.
See.
I wasn't lying.
I wasn't lying. About anything.
About anything.
There we go.
All right.
"To effectively treat
Derma temeculitis with zyfolic
Acid, the afflicted areas must
Be submerged for at least
Minutes.
Minutes. Ok.
Ok.
Ok. Ew...
Ew...
Oh...
Ok, lizard pee,
Do your thing.
Do your thing. Ew...
Ew...
Wow, I should've turned the
Wow, I should've turned the tv on first.
Tv on first.
I'm really sorry about the
Hole in the wall.
Oh, it's all right.
Oh, it's all right. I almost got it fixed.
I almost got it fixed.
Why are you giving me this?
'Cause you earned it.
I'll get a blue ribbon and a
I'll get a blue ribbon and a trophy when I earn it.
Trophy when I earn it.
I'm sorry.
For?
Not believing that you really
Meant it when you said you
Loved me.
How could you think I'd make
That up?
I don't know, drake keeps
Saying--
That explains it.
That explains it. Yeah.
Yeah.
Mindy, i...
I care about you.
A lot, but...
But you don't love me.
No.
I didn't say that.
You're the first girl
I ever dated, so...
I'm not really sure what love
Feels like.
I mean, years ago, I loved
Meat loaf.
Now, I question whether meat
Should even be served in the
Form of a loaf.
So you're comparing me to
Ground beef.
Ground beef. No...
No...
I don't know what I'm saying.
I think I do.
Listen, after I said...
You know, what I said,
I felt kind of weird
About it, too.
You did?
A little.
I don't know, maybe...
Maybe we rushed us.
You know, I've never had a
Boyfriend before you either,
And until we both had a little
More experience dating,
We can't really know
If us is right.
Right?
So what are we saying here?
Maybe we need to take a
Little break.
Little break. You know, see other people.
You know, see other people.
Yeah.
But does that mean, like, we
Can't hang out, or like, talk
Anymore?
Come on.
Of course we can.
If you want to.
No, I want to.
No, I want to. I want to, too.
I want to, too.
So...
So...
Uh, you know, this photon
Cannon is pretty impressive.
Thanks.
I mean, how did you get the
Pulse beam to--
Pulse beam to-- wait, don't!
Wait, don't!
Wait, don't! I'm out.
I'm out.
Man, soaking your hands and
Feet in lizard urine is so
Feet in lizard urine is so boring.
Boring.
Oh, it's you.
Oh, it's you. Close the door.
Close the door.
What's going on?
Swear not to tell
Mom and dad?
Swear.
Well, I have this rare skin
Disease called
Derma temeculitis.
[Gasps] oh, my god,
[Gasps] oh, my god, are you ok?
Are you ok?
I will be.
See, I read online that you can
Cure it by soaking in zyfolic
Acid.
Which is in lizard pee.
Ah.
Or, you know, there is
Another cure.
What?
Next time, don't eat my big
Next time, don't eat my big cookie.
Cookie.
What are you saying?
That I tricked you into
Thinking you have a rare skin
Disease by dying your hands and
Feet green while you slept.
And that you were stupid enough
To actually fall for it, and
Then stick your hands and feet
In buckets of lizard pee.
That's what I'm saying.
Megan!
You have a little something
On your upper lip.
My lip, what?
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! [Spits]
[Spits]
Wait!
What?
What? Is it gone?
Is it gone?
Hey, josh.
What's that doing here?
What's what doing here?
That.
The thing in the skirt.
I'm sorry, what, what'd you
Say, lizard pee?
Ha ha ha.
Funny.
Anyway, I thought you two
Broke up.
We did.
Doesn't mean we can't hang
Out and do homework together.
So, you two aren't gonna be
Making out anymore, but you're
Still gonna hang out and study
Together.
Basically.
Yeah.
Yeah. And I'm the dumb one.
And I'm the dumb one.
Drake, these buckets I just
Found in your room.
What's in them?
The truth.
Lizard pee.
Counseling twice a week.
But, mom, dr. Stein
But, mom, dr. Stein makes me talk to puppets.
Makes me talk to puppets.
What you doing?
I paid you $ to stay away
From the science fair.
Yeah.
You got ripped off.
04x04 - Mindy Loves Josh
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Series follows two teenage stepbrothers Drake Parker and Josh Nichols as they live together despite opposite personalities.
Series follows two teenage stepbrothers Drake Parker and Josh Nichols as they live together despite opposite personalities.