04x18 - Helicopter

[bunniefuu]

You know,

josh should start tryin'

to be a little more like me.

Drake would be

so much better off

if he acted more like me.

I mean,

if mom or walter tells him

he's not allowed

to do something,

he listens to 'em.

When a parent tells you no,

you got to respect that,

but drake just does whatever--

uh, who is this guy?

Who?

You.

I'm dave.

What are you doin' here?

I don't know.

I just bought a new webcam,

hooked it up, and turned it on.

Is there a problem?

Yeah. Yeah, you shouldn't be

on this screen.

This is a private channel.

So how do I turn myself off?

I don't know.

Get out of here!

But I want to stay.

All right, fine.

Okay, but I'm just gonna

keep goin' anyway.

You better keep quiet, dave.

Okay, let's see, uh...

Oh, josh always has to be

little mr. Perfect.

Uh...

Uh, but drake just thinks

that no matter what he does

he can just--

okay, this is ridiculous.

Josh out.

[Music]

excuse me.

Attention, moviegoers,

the : showing

of "helicopper"

is now sold out.

[Booing]

okay, okay...

I wasn't done yet, jackals!

Tickets for the : showing

go on sale now.

[Cheering]

hey, man.

Do me a favor?

I will not give you

a free ticket

to see "helicopper."

I don't want a free ticket

to see "helicopper."

Oh, good.

I want two free tickets

so I can take a girl.

What girl?

I don't know, uh...

Hey, blue shirt.

Yeah, yeah, you,

you want to see a movie with me?

Okay.

So come on, man,

make with the tickets.

No.

Hi, I'm teri.

Great. Come on, man, please.

No more free tickets.

You got to learn

that life's not a free ride.

Fine. Wait here.

I'll go buy some tickets.

Hey, you can cut

in front of us if you want to.

Oh, cool. Thanks.

Uh, two tickets

for "helicopper," please.

[Sirens, music]

what's goin' on?

As representatives

of paramour studios...

In association

with dreamscope...

We're here

to congratulate you...

Drake.

On being the ,th person

to buy a ticket

to see "helicopper"!

[Music]

sweet. What'd I win?

Well, first,

you get two free tickets

to the movie.

Of course.

And you've won a ride

aboard a real helicopter.

With a skydiving lesson.

Awesome.

Hey, let's go see the movie.

Okay.

Unbelievable.

What?

Everything good

always happens to drake.

Come on,

good things happen to you.

Hey, do you own

the red -speed bike

parked outside?

Yes.

It's on fire.

♪ I never thought

that it'd be so simple,

but I found a way,

I found a way,

and if you open up your mind,

see what's inside,

well, it's gonna take

some time to realize,

but if you look inside,

I'm sure you'll find

over your shoulder

you know that I told you

I'll always be

pickin' you up

when you're down,

so just turn around ♪

♪ ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ooh

[music]

would you stop it?

We're home.

Hey, boys.

We brought you a doggy bag.

Who wants a rib?

Rib.

So, you're really gonna go

up in a helicopter and jump out?

Hey, someone's got to do it.

It just seems so dangerous.

Yep.

You know, they say

one in five people

don't even make it

to the ground.

Wow.

What do you mean,

they don't make it

to the ground?

Where do they go?

Don't you have a rib

to nibble?

Do you, like,

need a license to skydive?

I don't think so.

I think you just go

up in the helicopter

and jump out--we should kiss.

Okay.

What is this about skydiving?

Oh, yeah. You see,

I won this contest and--

you are not jumping

out of any helicopter.

Oh, walter.

I mean it.

Mom.

Absolutely not.

Why not?

Because it's dangerous.

Yeah. You know they say

one in five people

don't even make it

to the ground.

Come on,

people skydive all the time,

and how often

do you hear about--

no.

One hundred percent

out of the question.

I'm gonna go rinse off

my rib.

Uh, maybe you should

head on home.

Okay.

[Music]

so, what you doin'?

Oh, your father

is tryin' to save money,

so he bought himself

a bunch of secondhand underwear

on the internet,

and I think it's gross.

So you're boiling 'em?

Uh-huh.

That's sanitary.

Hey, aren't you supposed

to be at the water park?

Water park?

Yeah. Drake said

that you guys were goin'

to the water park together.

Oh, um, uh, yeah.

Yes, uh-huh, yes.

Did drake lie to me?

Is this juice new?

It's delish.

Did he go skydiving?

Uh, no. No, no, no.

No, no, no!

I was supposed to meet drake

at the water park.

I completely forgot.

So if he calls,

tell him I'm on my way.

I'm comin', drake,

to the water park!

See you later.

Mom, there's a bug

in my shower!

Be right there!

[Music]

[sniffing]

so, this is your first jump

out of a helicopter, right?

Yes, sir.

First jump.

All right.

Well, let me go

over the basic steps for you.

Sure.

Now, when you get

up in the air, you're gonna get

out on the side

of the helicopter

that we call the ledge.

Yeah, I'm familiar

with ledges.

Now once you are up

on the ledge,

you will do the following--

you're gonna squat.

Squat?

Pray.

Pray?

Leap.

Leap.

Aahhh.

Aahhh?

That's what you're gonna yell

on the way down.

Aah.

Aah.

Aah.

Yeah. And then touch down.

Touch down.

Yes, sir.

Now, so all you got to do

is you're gonna squat--

squat.

Pray.

Pray.

Leap.

Leap.

Aahhh.

Aahhh.

And then touch down.

Touch down.

Yes, sir.

That's s-p-l-a-t.

That spells "splat."

Oh, man.

Well, I'm gonna go get you

a flight suit.

Drake.

Hey, man,

what are you doin' here?

What am I doing here?

You lied to mom so I had to lie

to cover your butt.

Oh, cool.

I'll be back in half an hour.

Dude, mom and dad said

you are not allowed

to jump out of that helicopter.

So what,

are you gonna tell on me?

No.

All right, then I'm jumpin'.

Wait, wait, wait.

You're not jumping.

Why not?

'Cause if you jump

and you get hurt,

it'll be my fault.

Okay, please.

All right.

All right, I won't jump.

Good. Now let's go

to the water park.

Oh, I brought my own sunscreen,

spf.

Good luck, sun.

I'm not leavin'.

Drake--

mom and dad said

I couldn't jump

out of a helicopter.

They didn't say

I couldn't ride in one.

All right, let's do this.

Well, see ya.

Drake.

I really don't think

you should go up

in that helicopter.

You can come, too.

We're goin' up

in a helicopter?

Come on! Come on!

[Music]

this is so cool!

Hey, how high are we?

Oh, about , feet.

Wow, those people look

really tiny down there.

That's a pre-school.

Oh.

I can't believe this view.

[Bird squawking]

hey. Hey, a bird.

I think that's a red-breasted

gopher hawk.

We learned about these

at bird camp.

They're one

of the most intelligent of--

yeah, that bird

was real intelligent.

Hey, dude, did you just see

what just happened?

Why are you putting on

that parachute?

To ret*rd my fall.

You said

you weren't gonna jump.

Yeah, but I'm gonna.

No, don't do it.

Give me that parachute.

No, I will not.

No fightin'

on the helicopter.

Hey. I said--dang it.

Hey, I said let it go.

Put the parachute down,

get this.

Get off of me.

Oh!

Hello! Hello!

Hey! Wake up, wake up!

Come on! Come o--

[whimpers] he's out cold!

Our pilot's unconscious!

Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Do you know how to fly

a helicopter?

Not really. You?

No.

Aah!

[Music]

[music]

we're gonna die!

We're gonna die,

we're gonna die.

We're gonna die.

We're gonna die.

We're gonna die.

We're gonna die.

We're gonna die!

We're not gonna die!

We're gonna die!

Josh.

Our pilot's unconscious!

Look, if we just

kept it together,

I think we can figure a way

out of this.

Okay, okay.

Now, this button says

a*t*matic pilot. It's lit up.

That means the helicopter

is flying itself.

Right. Automatically.

Yeah, yeah.

So we should be safe

for a little while.

Okay, good.

Safe is good.

Safe is good.

Okay, now we just got

to figure a way

to wake up the pilot

before we plunge to our deaths.

Yes, yes, yes,

before our deaths.

Okay, come on.

Now what?

Come on, vinnie.

All right. There we go.

Okay, I guess we could--

we could try to throw

some water on him.

Maybe we could--

slap him awake.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good.

Okay, go, go.

Vin, come on, wake up.

Time to fly the helicopter.

Please wake up before we die.

You're not doin' it right.

Get out of the way.

Vince, hey.

Hey, vince.

Oh, snap! I've got you drake!

Hey, hey.

He's awake.

You're awake!

Oh, what happened?

How long I been out?

About minutes.

Oh, I remember.

You clowns were fighting

over this parachute.

Oh, what'd I hit my head on?

This fire extinguisher.

Oh.

See, I'm pretty sure

you hit your head

right on this lever--

aaah!

Aaah!

[Sound of parachute opening]

do you know

what you just did?

I extinguished our pilot?

No. He has a parachute.

You've extinguished us.

Well, maybe--maybe we can--

uh, uh...oh, the radio.

The radio.

We could call the tower,

or whatever you call it,

and maybe they can tell us

how to land this thing.

Right, right, good.

Turn it on! Turn it on!

Okay. Okay.

Here we go. Here we go.

[Radio beeping]

all right, you're good.

Hello, hello! Control tower,

this is drake parker!

Help! Help!

It's an emergency!

[Static]

oh, what are we gonna do?

I'm gonna fly

this helicopter.

You've seen me play

"helicopter rescue."

What? That's a video game.

So? If I can land

a m*llitary helicopter

on the empire state building,

rescue the princess,

while a giant lobster's

sh**ting rockets at me,

I think I can land this thing

on a freeway, all right?

I won't argue

with that logic.

Okay, good. Now, help me

figure this thing out.

Okay.

Okay. Now, I'm thinkin',

the first thing I should do

is turn off the a*t*matic pilot.

Right.

Now, the button's right here.

If I flip it

to the down position like this.

[Both screaming]

flip it up!

Flip it up! Flip it up!

Flip it up! Flip it up!

Flip it up! Flip it up!

Flip it up! Flip it up!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Okay, let's never do

that again.

Deal.

Control tower

to chopper ,

control tower to chopper .

, That's us.

Yeah. Just grab the mic.

Grab the mic.

Hello! Hello!

Control tower!

This is chopper !

Help! Help!

Can you hear me?

Yeah, yeah.

Loud and clear.

Look, we're , feet

in the air, we got no pilot,

and I don't know

how to land this thing.

All right, all right,

all right,

tell me where you are.

In the helicopter.

I realize that.

I need to get a bearing

on your location.

Look down. Look down.

Okay, okay.

I see a...a...a church,

and the ocean on my left--

I see--

a radio plummeting to earth!

Oh, man, what are we gonna do?

We got no pilot,

we can't fly this thing,

I gotta pee,

and we're gonna die now!

I'm gonna die full of pee!

Well, maybe we could--

oh, dude.

Yeah. My cell phone.

Yes, yes, yes.

Okay, my cell phone.

I got bars.

Okay, good, call for help.

Call for help.

Okay, okay.

I'll call mom and dad.

No.

Why not?

Because if they know

I'm up in this helicopter,

I'm gonna get grounded.

Hey, if we don't get help,

we are gonna become

part of the ground!

Can't you call

the fire department?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm thinking they don't have

a ,-foot ladder.

All right,

I'm calling mom and dad.

All right.

So today

I got some stickers with clouds,

some with unicorns--ooh,

and some that glow underwater.

[Call waiting beeps]

hang on.

I got another call. Hello.

Megan, put mom or dad on.

No, I'm on the phone

with janie, and we're talking

about stickers.

Forget about the stickers!

We are in a helicopter right now

with no pilot!

Call me in a half hour.

Hey, janie, I'm back.

Where were we?

Oh, yeah.

I'm not sure where you get

the puffy stickers.

And how do they make 'em puffy?

You think?

What? She hung up?

She said call her back

in a half hour.

Well, great.

I hope your phone gets reception

at the bottom of the ocean.

Will you not holler

at me, okay?

This might be

our last few minutes together.

I do not want them

to be stressful.

[Alarm beeping]

what was that?

Aah! It's the fuel gauge!

We're on "e."

Well, maybe "e" means

"extra fuel."

Tell me "e" means "extra fuel"!

"E" means "empty," dude!

We're out of fuel!

Oh!

Dear savior,

I am sorry about the time

I was five years old and stole

that piece of bubblegum.

I am sorry about the time

I watched

that pretty lady's laundry

spin in the dryer

at the laundromat.

I'm sorry--

look, would just stop it,

okay?

We're gonna get out of this.

Hey, now. Hey, now.

Don't dream it's over.

Would you stop it?

What are you looking for?

Uh! Hey! Parachute!

Oh, a parachute.

But--but--there's only one.

We got--we got to look

for another one.

Aah!

There's only one.

Okay. I'll take it

and bring back help.

What? What kind of help

are you gonna bring back,

a dive team to locate my corpse?

Okay, we'll jump together.

What?

Yeah. Okay.

I'll put this on.

You hold onto me, and we jump,

all right?

Uhh.

Drake, you ready?

Uh, no, no.

I'm not jumpin' with you, josh.

Yeah, you are.

No, I'm not.

Why not?

Look, just jump, okay? Go.

What's wrong with you?

I'm--i'm afraid, all right.

You were just

about to jump out by yourself.

I know,

but then I looked down,

saw how high we are,

peed a little bit,

now I ain't jumpin', josh!

You're goin', all right?

No, I'm not.

Look, we're on "e," okay?

Just--just jump out!

Oh, I'm goin',

and you're comin' with me!

Aaaah!

[Both screaming]

oh.

Look! It opened!

Ha ha!

Hey, you're touching my butt.

Oh, sorry.

[Music]

great present, walter.

What?

You hung up on us.

When we were

up in a helicopter alone,

running out of fuel.

What's your point?

We had to jump out...

With one parachute.

Yeah. We barely made it.

We had to swim two miles.

Until we were rescued

by a tuna boat.

Did you bring me some tuna?

Come here.

Come here.

Come here.

Mom, walter.

You're home. How nice.

Hi, baby.

Hey, megan.

So, how was the water park?

Oh, you know, fun, wet.

I had a churro.

[Doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

I call knob.

Aah!

Aah!

You blasted me

out of my own helicopter.

Shh!

Shh!

Not in front of our parents.

Who is it?

Uh, uh, it's some, uh...

Crazy guy.

[Whistling]

I'll handle this.

How can I help you?

Are you their father?

Yes.

What's this?

A bill.

That's how much you owe me

for my new helicopter.

What?

$,?

Boys, you're both grounded.

But, dad--

grounded two weeks.

But it wasn't our fault.

Upstairs.

Yes, sir.

Night.

Night.

[Music]

control tower,

help, help.

It's an emergency!

Hello. Who is it, please?

Who is this?

Katie henderson.

Katie, katie,

where are you?

I'm in the control tower.

How old are you?

This many.

Oh, wait. Wait.

We can't see you.

You have to tell us

how old you are.

Five.

Well, are there any grown-ups

in the control tower

we could talk to?

My daddy's in charge.

Okay. Great, great, great.

Can we talk to your daddy?

Where is he?

No.

Why not?

He went potty.

Well, how long

has he been gone?

Did he take a magazine?

I can play the harmonica.

[Playing harmonica]

what?

[Ding]

mmm!