02x04 - Chapter Ten: Miracle on Dead Creek Road

[bunniefuu]

[Carol] Previously, on The Santa Clauses.

[Scott] Why did you fly to the North Pole?

Some of the Legendaries, uh,
Mother Nature, Easter Bunny, Sandman--

Okay, all of them are a little concerned
about your son being the next Santa.

If Cal's not Santa material
in three months, we're meddling.

That's it. If we can get back home,

the magic of the North Pole
will restore my powers.

Take us to the North Pole, rabbit.

I'm the "hare" to the throne.

I need to find your father.

Cal, hare means rabbit.

Guys, what's happening?

Well, you can change him back, right?

Reversing a transformation
is never a guarantee.

-I wanted to surprise you. Happy birthday!
-[grunts]

My birthday was two days ago.
I can't keep doing this.

I wish I never put this thing on!

[Mad Santa] This is Santa magic.

[grunting]

I feel the power,

and it is glorious!

[both laughing]

[sleigh bells jingling]

-[Doc Martin] Oh, boy. [sighs]
-[monitor beeping]

[monitor beeping faster, stops]

Well, Noel,
I don't know how to tell you this.

Some things are better left unsaid.

If you don't reduce your stress,
you're going to explode.

Like, literally?

-Have you seen a blueberry in a microwave?
-Yeah.

That's what happens to elves
who get as wound up as you do.

We call it "Curtis-itis."

So, literally.

I told everyone
I wasn't Head Elf material.

Betty was always so good at this.

She always kept her tension in her hair.

Hmm. Well, I want you to track your stress
using this monitor.

-Okay.
-[sighs] Your prescription is rest,

less stress, and to get your head right.

Okay. Hear that, honey?

Oh, boy.

[Carol sighs]

Mrs. Claus. Always a calming presence.

So, uh, Sandra turned the Easter Bunny
into a bunny bunny.

So, now we're doing Easter.

-[monitor] Blueberry.
-[Carol sighs]

[Mad Santa]
♪ My stepmother wants to boil me ♪

♪ My stepmother wants to boil me ♪

-♪ My stepmother wants to boil me ♪
-[Olga] Huzzah!

-♪ So her son inherits the clock ♪
-[Olga] Huzzah! [chuckles]

-Hey, I'm back, you guys.
-He's back.

Yes. The fake snow was way too expensive,
so I got this dry shampoo instead.

Ah, nice vest. Burlington?

SANTA TRAINING

I don't know him,
but what say you to a sweet treat?

[gasps]

How did you do that?

Magic!

-[laughing]
-That's my Santa! [chuckles]

This is real. My God, it's real!

-All right, new plan.
-Mmm. Mm-hmm.

-Now that my powers are coming back…
-Hmm.

…we're going to take down the fraud Santa.

Don't know if you know this, but I was

-wrongly exiled from the North Pole.
-"Wrongly exiled."

-Very wrongly.
-Very wrongly.

-Yes, it was very mean, very unfair.
-"Very mean, very unfair."

Yeah, you might've mentioned it.

While you were gone, the fraud Santa
made a stop in the woods behind your park.

-Hmm.
-He'll surely come again,

and this time we'll be ready with a trap.

[both grunt]

Kris, what does Santa love
more than anything?

Oh, riddles. I love this.

Okay, okay, I know. I got this.

Um, cookies?

-No.
-No, no. Okay.

Uh, presents? He loves presents. No?

Um, the smell of a pine tree--

Christmas! Christmas.

It's Christmas, Kris.

Obvi-- Obviously.
Why didn't I think of that?

I'm going to turn
your sad excuse for a park…

JOY

…into a spectacle of merriment
that will rival the North Pole.

He'll have no choice but to come back.

-I'm on board.
-Good.

But we have to hurry, you guys. My--

My dad is planning on showing the park
to potential buyers next week.

He won't want to sell it
when he sees this.

[gasps] A snowball?

-[Mad Santa laughs]
-[Olga laughing]

-You guys are my best friends.
-[laughing continues]

-[theme playing]
-[choir harmonizing]

[harmonizing continues]

["Jingle Bells" plays]

The SANTA CLAUSES

CHAPTER TEN
MIRACLE ON DEAD CREEK ROAD

Okay, first off, we gotta get to this
awkward situation with the Easter Bunny.

RIP.

I did not k*ll him.

He's not dead.
He's just out of commission for a while.

The deal is we can't let the Legendary
figures find out about this, okay?

So we gotta reschedule Sandman.

Why don't we say our pipes froze?

'Cause our pipes are made of ice, right?

-[elves chattering]
-L-L-Let's just move on, okay?

Nothing else really a big deal

except that we have to do Easter this year
from the North Pole.

-What? Easter? How do you spell Easter?
-I don't have time for this.

We don't know nothing about no Easter.

Yeah, like does the Easter Bunny
hide the Easter eggs?

-Or do the eggs hide themselves?
-[Edie] Exactly.

-What do eggs have to do with Jesus?
-How did Jesus like his eggs?

It's true. Don't get chickens and bunnies
involved in Easter.

Rabbits don't lay eggs.

Blah, blah, blah.
It's a whole TED Talk now.

[chuckles]
What does Ted the Rabbit have to say?

Ted's the chicken. Pay attention, Dad.

Maybe Jesus had chickens
and was friends with a bunny?

Oh, that's a good idea.
Let's write that down.

We kind of went through the text.
We couldn't find anything about it.

So, Noel, this is on you
to figure that out. All right?

-[monitor] Warning. Warning. Caution.
-[Noel whimpers]

Easy-peasy, no blueberry squeezy.

-[sighs]
-[monitor] Calm down.

[Scott] Okay, let's just consider
this an experiment

for the Calvin family
Christmas business, right?

And we're just working on Easter,
so if we screw it up, no big deal.

-It's not our holiday. Okay?
-That's a good point.

All right, Sandra. You're gonna
have to tell the reindeer about this.

Okay, fine.
But I'm not doing any witchy magic.

No one's asking you to.

Good. 'Cause those days are over.

-They're vanished.
-Okay.

Not because I made them vanish,
like, with a spell or anything.

They're just regular over.

Thanks for that clarification.

And Cal, I'm gonna ask you
to help me deliver the eggs.

-[grunts]
-No, no, no! It's gonna be exciting.

It's a good opportunity.

You get to experience what it's like to go
in people's homes while they're sleeping

and just drop stuff off, you know.

Instead of packages though,
it's Easter baskets.

But you get to feel what Santa feels.

Sure, why not?

It's not like Riley will get mad at me
for being too busy with crazy stuff

and break up with me,
'cause she already did.

Oh, well, that's a good attitude to have.

Let's keep it there.

Honey, we need to have you
and the E.L.F.S. squad

go find the Easter Bunny's
basket of tricks.

-Okay. Basket of tricks.
-Yes.

Full of stink eggs, laughing eggs,
and the magical rabbit hole.

-How do you know all this?
-It's hard being all-knowing.

By the way, your mom wants you to call.

Okay. That's it.

We are a group that knows
how to get stuff done.

Let's hop to it.

Too soon. Too soon.

Hey, do you wanna go investigate
the rabbit warren with me?

It will help take your mind off of things.

And we can fly and use jetpacks.

-It's better than a broom.
-Yeah.

[Edie] This could help.

-Bright and colorful.
-[Noel] The baskets are white.

The baskets are almost complete.

-Nice presentation, Wally.
-Thanks.

Excellent, Zippy. Just plop
some cute bunny noses and ears on them.

[Zippy] Mm-hmm.

Looking good, Sandman.

-Sandman!
-[chuckles]

Oh, yikes. I don't have time for this.

Kaboom? Faint for me.

[whimpers]

Still got it.

The Legendaries and I are terribly sorry
about your pipes freezing,

but I decided to drop in

and do a preliminary review of Cal.

[monitor] Warning. Blueberry.

-Microwave danger. [dings]
-[Noel pants]

[whimpers]
If you could just give me a second.

[monitor] Now let's breathe. Calm down.

[Noel shouting] Has anyone seen my pillow?

That's very normal for him.

-Anyway, Sandman.
-[whimpers]

It is just great to see you.
Thanks for stopping by.

[Cal groans]

And listen, Cal's looking forward to
showing you how he can pilot that sleigh.

[Cal groans]

Unfortunately, all the reindeer are off
on a team retreat.

You know, trust falls. That sort of thing.
You understand.

There's a lot of other skill sets
he'd like to show you.

[Sandman] Oh, wonderful.

Then I'm glad I brought some provisions

to ensure that I don't nod off
during the presentation.

YuleBlast

-[drink fizz]
-Right. Hold on a second.

Come here. There we go. Come.

There we go. [chuckling]

[whispering] You got to pull it together.

I'm trying, but I've swallowed
my emotions, and there's a lot of them.

And I used eggnog to put 'em down,
and that's not feeling great.

Try a breath mint too.

Know what, I got an idea.

Why don't you sit back, relax,
and let's go through our presentation?

-Sounds good.
-Pillow?

-Okay, first up…
-Oh. Please.

…picking gifts.

[Sandman grunts] Hmm.

Warm Milk!

-Comfortable?
-Yeah.

Let's go ahead and lay back.

Okay. Christmas gifts.

What does Camille P. want?

Camille P. wants a warm and cozy blanket.

-Ah, look at that. Yeah, nice.
-[Edie] Ooh. Ooh.

Oh, that is gr-- I'm getting spoiled here.

-Yeah.
-[Cal] Yeah.

How about Kevin R.?
I wonder what he wants.

A teddy bear.

Ooh. Ooh, ooh! Let me see. Let me see.

There you go. Well, look at that.

What about Eugene C.?
This could be a tough one.

[gasps] A lavender oil diffuser.

[groans] Good one. Yeah.

-Good going. I like that.
-[Sandman groans]

♪ Go to sleep, go to sleep ♪

[Sandman sighs]

♪ And never ever wake ♪

[Noel] That's dark.

♪ Go to sleep, go to sleep ♪

-Cool.
-[Scott] All right.

We got to get back to our Easter plans.
Let's move.

Did I hear singing? We jamming?

-[loud chord plays]
-[Scott] What--

For the love of Saint Nicholas.

[Sandman groans]

Your jamming almost ruined Easter.

Art is meant to disrupt.

What?

[sighs] That was fun.

[squeaks]
I take it back. I prefer a broom.

[Carol] Hmm.
Let's go find that basket of tricks.

[scoffs] This place is a mess.
But rabbits are notorious slobs.

Although you'd think the Easter Bunny
would hold himself to a higher standard.

But we are who we are.

How profound.

Speaking of, how are you?

-Fine.
-Fine is a four-letter word.

You cleared the dishes this morning
with your hands.

I told you. I'm done with magic, okay?

I thought about what La Befana said,
and I'm quitting.

I'm banning myself from it.

I thought you were enjoying it.

I was, until I ruined the Easter Bunny.

Hey, you didn't ruin him.
He's just furrier now.

Mom, what if he never turns back?

Well, we all face challenges in life.

No! No.
This is why I can't do this anymore.

Because every time I get upset,
something goes wrong.

Every time!

Well, that doesn't mean that you give up.

I think it's best to just not
do magic anymore

or feel anything anymore.

Healthy.

It's okay to be angry.

In fact, women for all time
have been filled with a deep rage.

-[sighs]
-It's why we have a higher pain threshold.

We just need to find a way
to get your anger out

so it doesn't come out in your magic.

["Who Were the Witches?" plays]

[shouts]

What are you doing?

[sighs] I'm getting my anger out.

-[Sandra gasps]
-Try it.

Oh, come on. Take a look around.
He's not even gonna notice.

-[Sandra sighs]
-[Carol chuckles]

[shouts] Okay.

[shouts, grunts]

-[Sandra grunts]
-[laughing]

[Carol] Hmm.

[Carol shouting]

[cheers] That's my girl!

-[laughs]
-[music fades]

It felt really good to get my anger out.

Yeah, interesting. Right?

I think I'm just afraid.

I mean, all this witch stuff
has been so new

and, honestly, really overwhelming.

You have these gifts for a reason.

We just don't know what that is yet.

So, no more self-imposed magic ban?

Yeah.

[Carol] I'm proud of you.

[groans]

Okay. Why don't you use
that magic to clean up?

-All right.
-And then we'll check back in with Dad.

-Then we'll--
-[floorboard squeaks]

[Sandra] What?

It's hollow.

Wow, you're good.

-[groaning]
-[Sandra chuckles]

I think we found the basket of tricks.

Oh, bleak little wretched village.

I, Magnus Antas,

command thee to tran-santa-fy.

[laughing]

Nothing happened.

-Yes, well, I-- I was just kidding!
-[growls]

[chuckles]

[shouting]

[vocalizing]

SanTaPOLIS WELCOME!

-[Kris laughing] Oh, my God.
-Yes.

PETTING PEN

Wow.

Oh, my-- I-I feel like
I'm in a fancy mall. Thank you.

Well, a mere thank you won't do,
but you're welcome.

-[machinery whirs]
-[gasps]

That Ferris wheel hasn't worked in years.

As a matter of fact,
I've been sleeping in one of the buckets

since the two of you
took over my apartment.

Aw, man, wh-- when my dad sees this,

-he's gonna just--
-Die.

-[Mad Santa clears throat]
-No. No, this might just save the park.

The only one who needs saving is you.

Silence! He's a grown man
that owns a Santa theme park.

He was bullied enough as a young child.

You know what?
Haters make me greater, okay?

[groans] Look at this.
It's so nice having my-my magic back.

If only I had my amulet.

What amulet?

Oh, Kris, it's beautiful. It's powerful.

But the scoundrels
who turned me into a nutcracker took it.

Oh, man, that's-- that's horrible.

Actually, he dropped it.

Will you drop it?

Okay. So, an amulet?

Is it like a-a ring or a stick or a--

A stick?
Why are you asking me so many questions?

Are you planning
to try to steal my amulet?

[stammers] No, I'm just having
a really weird conversation with you.

Olga, how's the trap coming?

Um, is there a good
t*rture device store around here?

Anywhere I can get a deal on a dagger,
a crossbow or a battering ram?

You know what?
I'll get back to you on that.

Also, why don't you just go
to the North Pole and confront Santa?

[groans] 'Cause the boar pig's powers
are too strong

for me to take him on at the North Pole
without my amulet.

That's why we need to bring him here.

-He's also scared.
-I told you that in confidence.

Don't tell me you're scared.

[chuckles] Just of you. Uh, respectfully.

-[growls]
-Um, you know, it's okay to be scared.

Even superheroes are scared
from time to time.

As a matter of fact,
I'm writing a graphic novel right now

-where this one hero is actually--
-You see what you've done?

[Mad Santa grunts]

So we have a few new things to discuss.

For Easter, we have been preparing some…

[Mad Santa, distorted]
♪ My stepmother wants to boil me ♪

♪ So her son inherits the clock ♪

-[Hugo] Sir?
-Huh?

Did you guys hear that singing?

I want to say yes because you're my boss.

But, to be honest with you, no.
Not at all.

And are you okay?

-Great. Never felt better.
-Hey, hey.

-[shushes] Keep it down.
-[snores, grunts]

Anyways, for Easter,

-we have prepared a few new options--
-Everyone, I've got it.

-[Scott] Oh.
-[Hugo] Edie.

Uh-uh.
Don't interrupt the creative process.

Now, as I was saying, I've designed
the perfect Easter Bunny outfit.

-Uh, no.
-[sighs] I can't work like this.

Well, we also can't have you
looking like Santa delivering eggs.

-Well, I'm not looking like that.
-Which is why we have prepared this watch.

It has a hidden button on it.
I made a few tweaks.

-[Scott] What?
-Just tap the button three times.

Did you steal this out of my bedroom?

Never mind. Just tap the watch,

and you'll transform into
that emaciated fellow, Scott Calvin.

[chuckles] All right.

[beeping]

[chuckles]

-Look at that.
-Ooh.

You mean, I could look like my old self
anytime I wanted to?

Yeah. There's a lot of things
that we haven't told you.

-Moving on--
-No, no.

What about Cal? What's he gonna look like?

He's less inspiring.

Edie, I'm just super depressed.

I'm gonna tell you
what I told the Leprechaun Emperor

when I styled him
during his custody dispute.

Get it together, my man.

Get away from me, Freddy Krueger!

[grunting]

Huh. Sandman has nightmares.

If we could move on,
I also created these for you.

Yes! Something else? Something cool?

It is to make sure that you go
completely undetected on your rounds.

Now, it may look
like an ordinary bunny ears hat, but--

Is there such a thing
as a normal bunny hat?

Just put it on.

[scoffs]

Okay, I got it on.

[screams] Gooey gumdrops!
You just k*lled Santa!

[Scott] What's happening?
What are you doing?

-The hat makes you invisible.
-[Scott] Right.

-Only those with Santa magic can see you.
-[Scott chuckles] That's cool.

I'ma need me a pair of those.

-Yeah. So the hat makes me disappear?
-Correct.

And the ears that--
It-It's part of the-the function of them?

-No, I-- I just added it for fun.
-[chuckles] Did you?

[pager beeping]

[sighs] Okay. Well, now,
if you'll excuse me, I'm needed elsewhere.

Are there batteries?
What do I got to know?

-Anything else?
-You'll be fine.

Sir, um, I know
you're leaning away from my design,

but how do you feel
about magenta fringe? Hmm?

Uh…

-[alarm blaring]
-What is going on here?

It says that it's registering
Santa magic in America!

[sighs] Why is it always America?

SANTAPOLIS' FAMOUS
NEVER MELTING ICE CREAM

-For you. And for you.
-[Kris chuckles]

Get your never-melting ice cream!

That's right!
It's ice cream that never melts!

Yes, we know, Kris.
It's in the name. It's in the name.

Ah, yeah. Yeah, you're right.

I found a piece for our Santa trap.

This will make
a perfect pillory or guillotine.

You know,
you make everything sound fun, Olga.

Yes. And one for you.

How does it not melt? It's magic!
Everyone should come here.

You know what? Could you say that again?

-Maybe add a thumbs-up at the end?
-[chuckles]

How does it not melt? It's magic!

Yes. It's only a matter of time

before we catch the attention
of the North Pole.

And then we'll trap Santa
and cut out his heart!

This is why
you can't skip your afternoon nap.

[grumbles]

Listen, that was a tough day.
You did great.

And, you know, you look fabulous.

-Don't.
-[chuckles]

Edie said I have to look like a bunny
if the invisibility fails.

-That's probably a good idea.
-She has one for you.

Oh, fat chance of that.

You look like a hairy leprechaun.

What are you? A deflated balloon?

[Mad Santa, distorted]
♪ Nay, forsooth, Master Winston ♪

♪ Me like porridge not ♪

Whoa, Dad. Sorry.
Did I hurt your feelings there?

No, I'm good. What are you talking about?

Why do you look like that?

-Well-- Because I got a special watch.
-Yeah.

You press it three times,
and I can go back to my old self.

You look like that on purpose? Brave.

But I was talking about Cal.

Why is he dressed as the Easter Bunny?

Hey, what's going on here?

It-It's part of his-his-his, uh, training.

I had to teach him
how to do all the Legendary jobs

so that he would know
about the world of magic.

-Why did you start with Easter?
-Yeah.

I'm the most important.

Look, you can't wake up
on Christmas morning

unless you fall asleep on Christmas Eve.

-Yeah.
-This coming from the guy who fell asleep

while Cal was successfully
flying the sleigh.

I-I did not.

-I-- I-I saw everything.
-Yeah?

Cal flew the sleigh,

uh, successfully.

-Hey, you got a little crusty in your eye.
-Oh. Oh.

Look, I need to go.

-But thank you for the hospitality.
-[Scott] Oh, yeah, sure.

Look, I'll have my assistant reach out

and schedule a day
for Cal to learn my job.

It's not all blankets and sheep.

[gulps]

What do we do? Hugo picked up
Santa magic loose in the world.

Just because Hugo picked up Santa magic,
doesn't mean it's the Mad Santa.

Oh, come on. Who else could it be?

-Maybe…
-Um…

Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

Okay! It's the Mad Santa!

-[all clamoring]
-What?

[Edie]
This is bad. This is very, very bad.

We can't send Santa Scott out into
the world with Mad Santa roaming free!

-Get it together, elf!
-[grunting]

Remove your hands from my sweater.

Sorry. It's just,
how does something like this happen?

You're the one who sold the nutcracker
to pay off your gambling debts.

Not how I remember it, but let's move on.

Uh, okay. If the Mad Santa's back,
then why hasn't he come for us?

I don't know.

But I do know that if we tell Santa,

we'll all be exiled
from the North Pole… forever.

If we send him on the rounds,
we have to protect him.

Of course. That's what I do.

You actually don't.

This is a bad idea.

[Edie grunts]

You're right, butter cake.

We'll take it to a vote.

Who votes to tell Santa Scott?

Shocker.

Who votes to wait
until we have more information?

It's settled. Santa Scott will go.

We will keep him closely monitored
and make sure he's safe.

This is my best friend
we're talking about here, people.

My utmost priority.

The man I die for in my sleep every night.

Um, what about Cal?

Oh, yeah.

Protect him too. Obviously.

And that's not all.
Listen to this. There you go.

I've been having these visions
about a guy in a green coat

singing to his mom or his stepmother.

Oh, yeah. I love that one.

♪ My stepmother wants to boil me ♪

♪ So her son inherits the clock ♪

That's the song there.
How do you know that song?

I didn't. I-I don't.

Um, it's just, you know,

I guess we're just so close
that whatever you see, I see.

-[Scott] Wait.
-B-F-F-A-E--LYFE! [chuckles]

-Uh, sir…
-[Scott] All right.

-…I created a jacket for your rounds.
-Sir. Sir. Sir.

You won't need a jacket

-because you're going to be invisible.
-Be invisible. Won't need it.

He still needs to look
like the Easter Bunny

-in case your dumb invisibility wears off.
-Hey.

Well, if that happens-- and it won't--

okay, he's just gonna
look like a weird guy

with a ridiculous-looking purple jacket.

Excuse me, brainiac?

Are you a stylist?
Hmm, no. No, you're not.

-Okay--
-All right, elves.

Elves! I'll wear the jacket
if it'll put an end to this turf w*r.

-Like a rabbit's gonna wear this jacket.
-Ooh. Nice threads.

-[chuckles]
-Feel like a walking eggplant. God.

Okay. I have the Easter Bunny's
basket of tricks.

Okay.

If you get cornered,
you throw an itching egg.

-Itching egg?
-Yes.

If you get caught, you throw a stink egg.

All right. Stink eggs. Itching eggs.
All right, I got this.

-If you get hungry…
-Yeah?

…these are just
plain old hard-boiled eggs.

Honey, I'll be fine.
You know I deliver presents for a living.

I know.
I will be monitoring your every move.

And the reindeer are set and ready to go.

-Thanks, Sandra.
-Yay.

And, listen, even though it's Easter,

-it feels good to be Santa Claus.
-Aw.

Even at this weird weight.

All right. Come on, Cal.
Let's hop to it. [chuckles]

Just can't get enough of those jokes.

All right, everybody. Hey.

Happy Easter to all,
and to all a Good Friday night.

Nope.

Okay. Hop in.

SanTaPOLIS THEATER

That's why you should
always follow your dreams

no matter what your dad says, okay?

Yeah!

[child] You look fluffy.

Yeah. Okay.

SANTAMAN LIVING IN SANTAPOLIS

Now, uh, before
we, uh, take a little Q and A,

how about some sleight of hand?

-[groans] At least it's not improv.
-[Kris] Whoops.

Uh, any suggestions?

[groans] This is a nightmare.

We were finally drawing a crowd
and the attention of the North Pole,

and this loggerhead's
ruining the Christmas spirit.

You're not Olga!

[parent] Let's go.

-[groans]
-[Kris] Here we go. Got it!

-♪ Five golden rings ♪
-[audience] ♪ Five golden rings ♪

-♪ Four empty cauldrons ♪
-♪ Four calling birds ♪

-♪ Three French hags ♪
-♪ Three French hens ♪

-♪ Two sharp knives ♪
-♪ Two turtle doves ♪

♪ And a partridge in a pear… ♪

♪ Sauce ♪

-[audience gasps, cheers]
-Sauce? Sauce?

[Mad Santa] Yes!

Let it snow. Yes. Let it snow.

That's catchy. I like it.

It doesn't taste like dry cement!

Yes, well, I'm much more
than a Santaman in a Santa land.

I know what each of you
wants for Christmas.

-[magical whoosh]
-Check under your seats.

-[audience clamoring]
-[Mad Santa sighs]

[laughing]

[laughing continues]

Yes. Of course you rise to your feet.

-The pleasure is all yours.
-Wow. He's great.

[sighs] I'm so happy for all the attention
he's bringing to the park, you know?

[sighs] But deep down I--
I wish it was still me up there.

-Wait. You're not Olga.
-[Mad Santa] Thank you! You're welcome!

-[stammers]
-Stay away from him.

O-Olga's actually a really evil gnome
who hates me.

-Um, sorry.
-[Mad Santa] You're welcome!

Merry Christmas to all.

And the exit is near the gift shop.

HAPPY EASTER

[Cal] Wait.
How do we know that the ears are working?

Because I can see you. You look
like you're going to a rave, you know.

'Cause you have Santa magic.

And how do you know
what a rave looks like?

-Okay. Look. Look here. Come here.
-Oh.

-Look in there. See, it's working.
-Huh.

[Cal imitates ghost]

But wait.
What if it's because we're vampires?

Just hide the eggs.
I'm gonna hide the basket.

Okay.

[Scott] Hey.
I wonder if they have milk and cookies.

[Cal shushes] Keep it down.

[Scott]
I hope they don't turn that thing on.

Okay, elves, how's it looking?

According to the magic meter,
so far so good.

Absolutely nothing to worry about.

Great. You hear that, peppermint?

Where'd she go?

[gasps, sighs] You stinker.

[Scott sighs]

-[footsteps thudding]
-[dog barking]

-Get one of the stink eggs ready.
-Wait. Okay.

W-Wait, stink eggs?

Yeah, from the basket of tricks.

-[Cal] Those were stink eggs?
-[Scott] Yeah.

I might have thought those
were normal eggs put in the wrong basket.

Okay, so where-- where are they now?

[Cal] Um…

Cal, did you hide the stink eggs
and not Easter eggs?

Which means we have to go back
to all those other houses

and switch them back.

Because you can't have kids
waking up in the morning

and finding exploding eggs.

No, you can't. No.

Hey, Dad, it's getting late.
I forgot my ears.

I forgot mine too. We're almost caught up.

Be quiet. We're not invisible, remember.

Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

-Cal, Cal. Hey.
-What?

-Which is the stink egg?
-That might have been me. Sorry.

-[sleigh bells jingling]
-[Cal sighs]

Wow. I can't believe we pulled that off.

You know, other than a few mishaps
and a few stink eggs,

I would call our Easter rounds a success.

-Yeah?
-Yeah. Yeah.

-What?
-Wait. Am I gonna look like you or Santa?

Huh.

-That's actually a pretty good question.
-Yeah.

Whoa.

-Oh, no.
-One more stop, kid.

Wait, what?

[snoring]

-[grunts]
-[Olga exclaims, grunts]

He's back.

Santa's as good as dead.

Get our running cloaks!

[alarm system]
Santa's in danger! Imminent doom!

What is happening?

Okay. Fine.

There's Santa magic loose in the world,
and Santa is dangerously close to it.

-[alarm system] Warning!
-What?

-Did you all know about this?
-No!

-[system] I predict danger.
-[Carol gasps]

-Yes!
-Noel!

Okay. Remember that nutcracker
you were looking for?

We think it came to life.

[gasps] The magic's interfering
with communications.

We can't reach him.

It looks like the two Santas
are headed for a collision course.

What do we do? What do we do?

Gary! Get my jetpack!

"Gary, get my jetpack."

"Gary, find the nutcracker."

"Gary, stop eating pudding
out of the trash."

When does it end?

There you go. Good. Good going.

Dasher, keep everybody settled down here.

Dad. Dad, what are we doing here?

You did something great for me today.
Now it's my turn to repay you.

Look, I know it's not easy
doing the rounds

when you're emotionally distraught.

And I know Riley means a lot to you, Son.

So, I think you should go talk to her.

No, Dad. No. No.

I appreciate the gesture,
but this is what Riley wants.

It's over.

It's not over till the fat guy sings.

And I can't carry a tune.

Come on. Let's go.

-[grunting]
-[traps snapping]

-Dad, are you okay?
-What the--

[metallic ding]

Never better.

Don't worry. I'll save you. [grunts]

[panting]

-Careful.
-[grunts]

Never mind.

All right. I got to figure this out.
I got to--

Oh, no! This is it!

I'll never be able to try Chipotle.

[exhales]

We have to get you back
to the North Pole. You're in danger.

-You think?
-Okay.

I'm not entirely sure how to work
this thing that Hugo gave me.

Then I don't think you should work it.

-[gadget zapping]
-Carol!

-Mom!
-Turn it off!

-I don't know how!
-Turn it off!

[zapping stops]

[gasps] It worked! Thank goodness!

I really thought something might blow up.

Oh, for fig's sake, honey.

-Chipotle all around.
-Yeah.

[rustling]

Guys, guys. Hide. Hide. Hide.

[Cal grunts]

[Olga grunts]

-Olga, oh!
-[Olga groans]

I will never leave you behind.

Except for now.

[Mad Santa panting]

You! In the funny ears.

[chuckles]

-How does he see me?
-[growls]

Wanga-banga-langa!

Oh.

[growls]

Magnus Antas.

[growls]

[exhales deeply]

All right. Back to the sleigh.
Everybody, back to the sleigh.

-Back to the sleigh! Go! Go!
-[Carol] Go, go!

[Mad Santa grunts]

-[Scott groaning]
-Scott!

-Dad!
-Honey, are you okay?

I'm in. I'm in. Go, go, go!

Boys, let's go! Move! Move!

[screams]